B l a c k F e a t h e r s , v 4 .1
Picturelesque

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May 31st, 2005 (Tuesday) 10:11 p.m.
Feeling : : |

Some guy from MT added me to his friendlist, and MSN too. How the heck he got my email from the place bugged me till he revealed he was some co-founder and went snooping about grabbing addresses seeking Japanese. Ah huh... Said I'm not, and there was some disappointment. Towards the end of a very awkward MSN conversation (well for me at least), I expressed my disapproval of being under his contact list nicely but I suppose he hasn't taken me off. Somehow I feel a little insulted by this incident, like I'm not worth much more than this brand label called 'Japan', but I won't take it to heart. Locals suffer this all their lives. Wll probably forget the whole thing when I wake.

Oh another note, maybe some people think it's cool some big co-founder of this huge community befriends em or something, but I'm dotted and kinda... rather unimpressed. Perhaps it's just me being judgemental again, but this sort of 'authority' or 'status' really means peanuts.

On a related issue, some people change so much when they attain power over others. I just observed the attitude of an old accquaintence, so... different it scares, disgusts me. Maybe my logic's a little warped here, but I feel the more power achieved would also help one get closer those below that level... Well... that's what I've been living anyway.

It's a well known fact that, generally-speaking, men are horny and women are freak'in $$-minded. I'll go ranting about the latter so don't bother reading on if you feel you're gonna be offended. Mom called last night... same dreary monetary issues droned on and on and on and ... you get my point. I may love her a lot, but that doesn't mean I agree with everything she discusses. It's like her whole being is revolved around money. She's got nothing else aside from that that can make her smile (quoted straight from the horse's mouth), so it looks pretty darn pathetic to me. I have told her this on several occasions, only to have her sink into a woe-is-me rant session that I'm not exactly keen on stomaching all over again, so these days I just listen and nod. Still, she tries to stay strong for the 3 lives she brought into this world and feels she's got to see through. I wasn't surprised she considered suicide before just because she hadn't much cash, but she said she couldn't just abandon her responsibility to her children. Motherly instinct VS materialist streak. Women. ¬_¬ Of course, I should understand that this rather materialistic trait of theirs is a fairly instinctive thing. Females of any specie need a form of security to ensure their offspring / family get the best they can, hence they seek out males with all the best traits. Physical abilities, capabilities etc. In human society the best modern proof of that may be money above physical characteristics, but it still gives females that sense of stablity infused in them to seek out in mates. So much for the human species being superior to animals, not that I ever thought em that way.

Bleach 34. o_O Characters were drawn a tad off, but I don't really mind. The Hinamori-Aizen scene was changed a little (I don't see a reason why?), but yeah, I'd pretty much like a guy so nice. Thank the gods it's not as wordy as 33.

"The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and
loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole
lifetime, if not asked to lend money."
- Mark Twain [b. Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835 - 1910)

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 30th, 2005 (Monday) 06:24 p.m.
Feeling : : |

;_;

A dedication to a widdle bunny departed from this realm.



I hope I don't get bashed up for this... ;_; Got the idea from the owner and put it together on the train, working on it for about an hour and half at home with soft & hard pencils.

Was at school asking Nakasa-san and Hotta-san to help with decoding a buncha Japanese names. Even the locals can't figure out a lot of names. -_-; With endless ways to read em, small wonder.

Been raining the whole day. Wonder if this is going to continue through till tomorrow...

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 30th, 2005 (Monday) 04:20 a.m.
Feeling : Furious

Why 'hunting' is legal beats the hell outta me. I can understand if one kills for food, but shooting down an animal just so you can claim its head as a personal trophy deserves a place in HELL. Read that?

H E L L

Not only is it directly showing a lack of respect for Nature's natural food chain, it's also a FUCKING WASTE and completely insenstive in the process of trying to boast some non-existant superiority over animals. Now I would image animals hunting down humans senselessly and getting a pretty ugly reaction from homosapiens. Say, the obsession with exterminating the entire specie? Very human reaction. Think about it, FOOLS. Oh wait. Nevermind. They don't. The human population is ever-increasing, land is being cleared for concrete, seas are being polluted, species are being eliminated, whole planet's getting hotter, air's getting dustier and shit, and all in all, earth is dying. Yeah, have a great fuck'in day.

"People have assumed intelligence is linked to the ability to suffer,
and that because animals have smaller brains they suffer less than
humans. That is a pathetic piece of logic."
- John Webster

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 30th, 2005 (Monday) 02:58 a.m.
Feeling : Awake

Shoot. Napped 5 hours. It's nearly 3am. -_-; Damn me.

I know I'm in deep sh*t when Bleach comes up with a new OP/ ED. Transliterating from sound alone is *beeeeeep*. Maybe I should record it down as audio, bring it to school and ask my classmates to help with jotting down em lyrics when that happens... -_-;

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 29th, 2005 (Sunday) 11:08 p.m.
Feeling : Dotted

Oh... saw the new version of Star Wars episode 6 (it was shown at a store to demonstrate the surround-sound system of some speaker, but at that set volume I prefer to think only people who'd want to get rendered deaf to stand so close). Freaked out upon seeing young Anakin Skywalker (what's-his-name-actor from episode 2 & 3) fade in beside Yoda and Obi-wan at the very end instead of that old man I was expecting. o_O

The trillion varieties of Pocky here is getting a little boring. I want the original strawberry flavor! >_< Why the heck don't they sell it as much anymore?! Just had some weirdo chocolate-banana flavored ones yesterday and all but nyeh.

Eh. I can understand some people are willing to give Japanese a go even though they're beginners, but shouldn't you learn everything proper before trying to offer people translations?

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 28th, 2005 (Saturday) 10:29 p.m.
Feeling : Drowsy

Eks. x_X haven't had the time to update, nor the energy.

Thursday: Class was good, I managed to finish my layout assignment and the teacher reckoned I should proceed to animating the short sequence though the rest of the class wouldn't because of their somewhat retarded pace. Not a problem for me, after all it's practice.

Friday: After a tiring day at class, and wandering around Shinjuku trying to kill time, met up with Joyce at our old haunting grounds to have a great dinner of yakiniku. Nostalgia... haven't been to that area in like maybe half a year... o_o Feet were aching the whole day because my new part of sneakers are still stiff. *Gives them a good bashing to soften em up* They're still stiff. -_-; *Stomps on em instead* We did have a great time, in any case, and came back to my place, watching Shrek 2 (and the extra features) then talking till 4am. The technical boo-boos of Shrek 2 seemed most amusing to us since we've handled 3D animation programs before and know just how ghey K & I.Ks / the whole setup can screw up on ya sometimes *laughs*.

Saturday: Well, I miscalculated the time taken to reach my train station by foot (usually I cycle) so Joyce and I were late in meeting our junior; HS, 10 minutes (ack, sorry.. -_-). Sweet girl with dreams (I like that in a person). We talked quite a bit, then had a great Thai lunch. At the common table, I was the only one who wasn't suffering from a red running nose and watering eyes from the 'spicy' food. o_O That was amusing. Got a stopwatch for myself, then slept on the train till the end of the line, then back again to my station (yay, free air-conditioning).

That done with, I need so much time to myself, or be driven mad. Quiet strolls, still hours staring into the heavens, watching evening turn to night, all this means so much. Maybe it's little to those who value the companionship of fellow human beings, but somehow I simply cannot stomach being around another person, any person so much of the time (no offense to 2 particular girls out there, but I think you already know this anyway hehe).

And it is getting hot. -_-; Argh.

You Are The Outlaw
"Sure, I'll do it. My way."
Just because you do not conform to the same laws and rules as everyone else does not mean that you are a bad guy. You travel your own path, separate from those around you, with your own reasons for doing what you do. Because of this and your own nature, it goes without saying that you are generally misunderstood. That does not matter much, though, as people love you for being who you are. You are pretty well set in your ways and have no real intention of changing. This can come across as a flicker of arrogance if your not careful. You do what is right for you, and God help anyone who stands in your way.
Which Classic Story Role Do You Play?
brought to you by Quizilla

Somehow... Sesshoumaru comes to mind with such a description. And nevermind, I do come across to people as arrogant anyway~

"Sorrow never comes too late. "
- Thomas Gray

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 25th, 2005 (Wednesday) 10:12 p.m.
Feeling : Exhausted

Didn't sleep. But oh well. Went to school thinking I could get on fine, but I was wrong. Turned fidgety and irritable, then tired and unable to keep my eyes open, slept through most of clas and did nothing until the headache subsiding as night fell.

Just to note,Yanou-san mentioned she has seen my MTV Ident (done way back in Polytechnic) on Japan's MTV channel before. I'm shocked, and moved... at least that's one piece of work from me people can look at and go, "I've seen that somewhere before..." :D :D :D

And while cycling home I looked up into the evening sky and beheld what looked like ragnarok in its must beautiful form. The clouds, the colors, the masses... wow... *moved*

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 25th, 2005 (Wednesday) 07:31 a.m.
Feeling : x_X

Utterly... exhausted... translated Bleach #33. Gawd... I really really really hate Kanonji's Engrish. -_-; Can't make out anything of his random yelling DARGH. I already knew when I saw the episode on TV I was going to have a hard time, but x____X. Took me 4 hours in all because there're just so many lines (many of which I can't make out due to excessive yelling etc), and to say the least, it really wasn't fun translating this episode. Nonetheless after I did the whole thing and watched it over again to check my own translations, I could actually enjoy the epiosode. Haha. Some pretty darn funny scenes in this episode but I'm too tired at the moment to grab screenshots... =_= It's 7:25am.

Is there even a point in me sleeping at the moment. o_O

Oh well... good thing I finished up my background homework, as well as layout stuff before beginning TL work. Phew.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 24th, 2005�@(Tuesday) 08:08 p.m.
Feeling : ”ç“÷

Uh... just saw Bleach 33... =_=; It's going to be a pain to translate, but good thing SK doesn't mind me literally translating (wee, saves me plenty of time). But hey, Urahara made an appearance! :D :D :D :D *Happy*

Looking at some ads for people hiring translators (scanlations). I guess if I liked a series enough I might try, but Bleach's manga has been licensed, so nah.

I'm currently annoyed at a particular group member of our animation project. Let's call her Miss Iu. Our group has 3 layout artists. None of us are better than one another at our jobs because we haven't actually dealt with such stuff before. 4 weeks, Yanou-san and I finished 30+ cuts. 4 weeks, abd Miss Iu showed up today with only 4 cuts done. She tends to miss classes a lot to go to the doctor (for what reason I don't care a shred), but I don't see how that could possibly take up so much of her time she could only manage 4 MEASELY cuts. Dammit woman, it ain't just YOU who had to go see a doctor. And stop giving some lame excuse on how you don't know HOW to do them layouts. Like I do. *Spits* Pretty ass sitting around waiting for stuff to get done for her. Find a rich husband. Get married. Get fucked. Sit around at home looking after screaming kids. No wait. Before all that, get outta school since doing work isn't your thing.

To note, Sycia has gotten so frustrated waiting for the Miss Princess to get stuff done, that she has volunteered to do her delayed part (so that makes 40+ cuts, maybe 50 I've done in all outta 82). Only because it's a group project and MY marks happen to be on the line as well.

And also to note, the sky darkened with rainclouds not long after I found out the woman had only drawn 4 cuts (let's say, about 10 minutes at around 4:15pm) and it began to pour as I approached my station. Was too annoyed to bother about the rain, but I do care for my mp3 player and digital camera so wrapped my bag up in a huge plastic bag and trudged through the rain back home (yes, I am dripping wet now). I will call myself weak if my body can't take such wimpy stuff and get itself a cold.

Your Extroversion Profile:

Cheerfulness: Very High

Assertiveness: High

Sociability: Low

Activity Level: Very Low

Excitement Seeking: Very Low

Friendliness: Very Low

How Extroverted Are You?

Ace on assertiveness. Can't count on other people to get things done, so ya might as well do it yourself.

I live the following, by the way.

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Ingrid Bergman (1915 - 1982)

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 23rd, 2005 (Monday) 08:51 p.m.
Feeling : Drowsy

Suddenly I'm anxious about Bleach 33. Why? Because a particular character in there rambles so fast in a funny accent that I can barely make out ANYTHING he says.

Okay, I think I had to much gaba-loaded chocolate. I'm feeling high, and drowsy? I'm going to bed. o_O

Had a long talk with Quex-dono. I've got a nee-chan now?

Also, I wonder where in the world Aaron got inspiration for his nickname. It tickles me so. :P

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 22nd, 2005 (Sunday) 11:38 p.m.
Feeling : Lazy

Well, things cooled off off, but now it feels awkward. Hope this doesn't get in the way in future.

And I'm wondering if I took on too many things at once... I don't mind sacrificing one night for translating anime, but lately I've been taking up some responsibilities that might prove time-consuming later on...

Also, my Gamerz Heaven #4 and drama CD (from Amazon.co.jp) arrived today. Yummay.

Had quite a vivd dream just now... Most would probably consider it a nightmare, but these days no atter how violent or bloody my dreams get, or the countless times I die in em, none count as scary anymore. Aside from the 300+ litres of blood sprayed and splattered about, and gross ripping sound effects of fresh ripped in that dream, I remember being unable to die (though run through, impaled, crushed, pushed off from great heights etc) and being disgruntled at that fact (you would be too having to withstand all that pain without going unconscious) Hmmm. Oh well~ at the very least I wasn't bored!

And it's *bleep* humid now.

"Plenty of people want to be pious, but no one yearns to be humble."
- Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 21st, 2005 (Saturday) 11:27 p.m.
Feeling : RAAAAH

Just fell asleep at 5pm to wake from Joyce's calling at 9pm, totally disorientated.

Meh. Screwed up sleep times. Had something to settle with some people on the other side of the world, and that ended up with me staying up all night talking. I hope something came out of the whole thing, because frankly, politics of a group is something I really don't want to deal with.

And I am really repressed. Just spent a full hour ranting to Sis how much I hate the sheep of this place. I do want to work here, but the mentality of people spineless dimwits here may prove too much to take. She said I can put a mask on everyday. Yeah... I look at the drones every morning and scoff, then fantasize about culling each and every one of them down with a spoon.

Oh yeeaaah Sycia is a case just waiting to explode.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 19th, 2005 (Thursday) 09:29 p.m.
Feeling : Worn

Well... Bleach Society's 32 is out. I'm surprised at how fast the team was with releasing this. ^_^ It was way before Lunar, and since Chihiro isn't subbing this week, well the amount of downloads gotten so far is amazing... 42116 completed, 6.9TB transferred... I'm happy. Great job all. Amidst the joy of things though... well... :X

Also got a pleasant surprise... my Livejournal account got 6 month's subscription outta the blue thanks to someone (you know who you are). o_o Wooow?

Had this Malay / Indonesian / Indian woman ask me which train to take for Yoyogi station this afternoon. In Japanese of course. I might have asked her to drop the extremely odd-accented language for English, but my train had come, so I was in a hurry. Quickly told her what she wanted (in blah blah fast Japanese) and zipped off.

I... need rest. XD


You are a stone key, and you unlock old and magical secrets. What you have to offer is powerful and difficult for many to understand, but invaluable to the few who can truly grasp it. Give the things you have carefully and wisely, because not everyone will use them for good.
What sort of key are you and what do you unlock?
brought to you by Quizilla

Maybe I'm just too cynical about people, but that last sentence really didn't need to be said. Not to me at least.

XD Doctor gets punched by corpse and is treated for shock. The poor fellow.

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures."
- Irish Proverb

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 17th, 2005 (Tuesday) 09:42 p.m.
Feeling : ·_· Stressed?

Oh my... Just watched Bleach 32. Very touching episode, a lot of stuff the manga never showed, but I'm going to have a major headache trying to decipher Japanese poetry into English =_=; I can already forsee myself banging my head on the table over cryptic Japanese phrases that just don't have English equivalents. I hope the fans forgive me for altering the translations to suit the feel....

EDIT:
:D Next week's episode will take a break from all the seriousness. I'm glad the anime production team decided to include this side story in!

EDIT2:
Listening to B.B.S... :o Morita's radio version of
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�¡“x‚±‚» Žè‘O‚¥‚ðŽa‚é�I
was so, so, so.... much better. ^__^

:o What the .... Kentarou (Renji) = Paku Romi's junior in university! :o The conversation steered over to Paku Romi instead of reading out a listener's message for a while. Haha. According to them, she's a little bit of a pushy person (well, considering Japanese are so contained, Paku-san is probably normal by Earth's standards).

"To retire is to begin to die."
- Pablo Casals

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 16th, 2005 (Monday) 08:05 p.m.
Feeling : Annoyed

This morning, as I cycled out of the common bicycle parking lot, I saw something quite amazing. Hundreds, maybe thousands of tiny insects taking to the wind after basking in the warmth of morning's rays shimmering off them. It was surreal, like I had suddenly been graced with the presence of an urban firefly grove.

The only damn problem is, I had to cycle through the whole thing. Which landed me about 1 insect trying to inspect the inner walls of my nose every 2 seconds. )(!&()*!&%)(*!@^%)*(!(&*% After that annoying area, throughout the 15 minute cycle to the station I was met with more insects every minute getting into my hair, onto my face, attempting to try for my nose (again duh), hell even my mouth. Repeat same process on my way back home. I really have no qualms or phobias towards them, but if this keeps up I am going to be driven nuts. It's a good thing I can steer my bike without hands so imagine this annoyed girl cycling along a road ruffling her hair up frustratedly with both her hands in an attempt to sift out pesky invaders.

Hmm. The internet is my escape indeed. I'm so repressed in real life I have to let it go here. Which is a good thing too. Though I wonder why my online persona is so... different from what's away from the computer. Perhaps it's because I suffer from low self-confidence (okay, some people are going to flip over that comment) to a certain extent in real life. Maybe I'm just too numb from people judging me from my physical appearance before getting to know me, that's why I simply shut off most before it even starts. However, online, you have no phsycial appearance to be judged by. Everyone is equal in that way, and this is probably why I'm far more open to people on this mysterious medium than any other. Yeah, maybe. This is why I never have, and never will post my photograph up.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 15th, 2005 (Sunday) 09:46 p.m.
Feeling : Wide awake

Whoa... slept 10 hours straight after napped 5 yesterday, staying awake for an hour to update my blog and bath... I suppose I've recovered from the week's hectic schedule then...

Ah huh.... my Hotmail account suddenly got 250m... It's been 2mb for more than 3 years already. Am I the only one? Oh well. Not complaining. No more full inbox flooding from spam.

The weather in Tokyo has been exceptionally gloomy this past week. Though it's spring, and temperatures should be above 20, it's been 9 at it's lowest, only going up to 16 of late. No matter, I LOVE this sort of weather. Sure we don't get fine happy days, but I prefer the cold over happy sunshine. It's one of those things that keeps me happy (hot = -_- Sycia). Thunder's rolling all over the place today, something that doesn't happen often here.

Weee... the webby is back online. Hopefully we won't encounter so many problems anymore...

ARGH. FMA gets ruined by Korean 'fans'.... x_x Heard that the animated version's here, but I don't dare view it... >_<

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 14th, 2005 (Saturday) 11:45 p.m.
Feeling : Refreshed

Been tired, and quiet of late... Monday & Tuesday, 2 hours of sleep. Wednesday 4. Thursday, not a wink. Friday, finally 6 hours.

Was supposed to go do that medical cheakup at school this morning, but I woke a tad too late and figured I'd never make in time, so skipped it altogether. No point rushing for something that'll be over. Met Joyce for a walk around Akihabara during which I gave into a set of chibi Bleach memo cards (Renji, Byakuya, Gin, Hitsugaya & Kenpachi + Yachiru) <-- ack cute, a clear file & received some clear Rukia card... Also has a great steak lunch (brunch?), but developed a major headache along the way. The Latin American band I saw two days back was there performing for a much more appreciative group. Discovered my love for traditional folk music. : ) Jamming to the CD I purchased from em now.

Headache didn't ease up, so I slept on the train to the end of the line, came back and slept some more (during which Mom called, and I wasn't that keen on talking, sorry Momsy). 5 hour nap cured the headache, but I hadn't had dinner, and it looks like I'll be up the whole night. Eeps. Guess I'll try to sleep again.

And something I forgot to update here, for my own personal reference.

Bleach Society's Bleach #31 was released on Thursday night as a torrent file. *Is still seeding*. Unfortunately the website went down due to an overload of traffic some time after I made the announcement at an LJ-community. While the BitTorrent system allows for distribution despite that, it's a tad unfortunate I couldn't get to see what people thought about it. Though from what the distributors on IRC say, most prefer it over Lunar's even (just that Lunar's faster). 1449 copies downloaded so far, would be much more if the webby that major Bleach fansites linked the torrent to was working, but we always have #32 to watch for.

One thing about this though... I had thought my translation pretty... simple. Plainly put I just spat what was said, right back out in simple English, and people seemed to like it. And after browsing through fansub forums, found out tha translators are hard to come by. Okaaaay. I was grabbed. <3

More suicides in May due to the extra sunlight? Heeeeey~ How 'bout a trip to the beach people?

Your #1 Match: INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #2 Match: INTJ

The Scientist You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems. Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized. You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others. Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you. You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

What's Your Personality Type?

Me. A teacher... *dies*
I always knew there was a scientist in me. Be it inquisitive or just mad... }¦ 3

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 12th, 2005 (Thursday) 04:01 p.m.
Feeling : ... like biting someone's head off.

Am pissed.

You do not, as a leader of an animation group, tell your 2 layout artists that they have till this Tuesday to do 20 cuts each, then go emailing them later saying the deadline's shifted to this SATURDAY, and that they're also supposed to include keyframes into the layout itself. You do not do that. You GET the bleed'in group together to discuss how to split the increased work, EQUALLY so the 2 layout artists, who've had their entire Golden Week sacrificed all along can get a freak'in break. And tomorrow's a full day of school. Where the fuck is all that magical time we're supposed to dedicate to doing this work going to just sprout out from? Oh yes. Just because sleep looks okay to go on without for someone who's staying up all night doing work all the time, you expect slumber to be thrown out the window.

2 hours of sleep on average this week. Mentally exhausted, emotionally wasted, now, more energy pouring into being ticked. I shall remember to credit our dear reasonable leader if my body can't hold up either.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 11th, 2005 (Wednesday) 10:19 p.m.
Feeling : Numb

Oddly enough I didn't take that long to translate Bleach #31 though I was doing double my normal amount. It was kinda fun (aside from trying to figure out how to phrase Urahara's explaination on fighting into English). Night was occupied by mag & anime translation, so didn't have the time to start feeling upset even. Don't know if it's because of the bleed'in 'medication', but lately my moods have been thrown into utter mayhem though I try to appear unaffected.

But it's also scary... I go to school acting perfectly nice and pleasant (seems like 2nd nature) then come back to brood. Similiarities with Kuchiki Rukia. Freeaaaaky. Wait. I've been doing that all the while, just less extreme.

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Stepping away from that, for the past few days I went to school perfectly fine aside from looking bad yesterday. Background lessons this afternoon, and practiced quite a bit with somewhat promising results. Also dropped by the art store in the evening and spent... ugh... US + on just paint, and special brushes. : | Why some paint brushes cost up to US+ is beyond me. Not as if they're made of gold or something...

Walls are good. You can throw any complaint, worry, woe, ANYTHING at them and they just take it all in. I shall go off and speak to my walls now.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 10th, 2005 (Tuesday) 11:13 p.m.
Feeling : Energetic, though tired (???)

Broke down last night (or morning), gave Mom a call (at 3:30am), went for a quick recovery, but looked pretty haggard through the whole of today (well yeah, I was up till 4:30am, suffering from the delayed effects of trauma), and was plagued by a headache that disappeared with the fading rays of the sun. Hopefully I'm OKAY now after speaking to Mom. Hopefully. Having a relapse of it will not be fun. Classmates were wondering what sort of ailment I came down with when they saw my face. Hell I could barely stay awake all day. Barely slept any for the past 2 days, emotionally (psychologically) more exhausted than phsycially, but I feel strangely rejuvenated by translation duties (fansub, mag-scanlations).

Strangely, as if one of the higher-ups heard me, I met EM today. EM = a person I feel could be what I consider 'god'. ¦ ) Happiness. To feel so loved by merely being in the presence of someone I barely 'know'.

Listening to B.B.Station right now. ^_^

Rushed back to my station from school, grabbed this month's edition of NewType, zoomed back home, watched Bleach, translated everything on the FMA movie article... It's a busy night...

Spoilers

Bleach 31. Wow.... they got their best animators for this episode. Ichigo and Reji look fine (I was comparing the manga frames to the anime's). :D They made Urahara-san look so GOOD. Better than in the manga (okay, maybe it was Miki Shinichirou's voice that complimented the character). Blood was flying through the air sw33tly, explosions were flashy... Yummay. Best animation for an episode so far, in my opinion.

And downloading a raw right now to begin translation for the first half. I freak'in love my connection. <3 Thanks to it I will be able to get some sleep tonight. Will translate till 1 am maybe, sleep and wake at 6am to complete the rest of my background assignments. Yeah...

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 10th, 2005 (Tuesday) 03:01 a.m.
Feeling : Upset

Meh. It was a false recovery. I think I'm suffering from psychological trauma, and despite knowing that, I can't do a thing to control myself at the moment.

Though I'm grateful that it only overwhelms me at night. That or I somehow manage to contain it till then.

.... I might actually need to see a shrink.

How the heck can I do my work like this.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 9th, 2005 (Monday) 10:33 p.m.
Feeling : Fulfilled

*Sparkles a little*

Finally, after weeks of practice, problems, errors, conflict, success and blah blah, :D We've managed to release our first sub (Bleach #30). It's still got lots to fix, but I don't think it's that bad for a starting group. Been planning it for quite a while but it was to be a secret till we could actually release anything. It feels helluva good to finally have it out and ready.

Fansubbing is tough. That much I'll say. Plus the fact all of us live in different timezones... Translating = one of the first in line for the long sequence of work so I stay up all night on Tuesdays to grab a raw from somewhere (ANYWHERE) just to translate, and pass to the next person. Fairly easily translation so far, though I get torn between translating the right mood but inaccurate text, or accurately translated text that just sounds downright weird in English.

If anyone's wondering, I translate only the entire first half of the anime (before the CM), and do some translation checking overall. Opening and ending... well, I translated, the other translator did too, and the timers kinda used a mix-match of both. ^^;

So... that means tomorrow I'll be working overtime again. This time, translation of FMA magazine articles for fullmetal-alchemist.com, then the translation of Bleach #31. Woot. x_x No sleep.

Though I worry... when Bleach gets licensed in America, I will stop working for the group. I'm fine as long as fansubbing's legal, but phooey. When licenses hit hard, and since I'm going into this industry, well... :X

Didn't go for the Blood event, like I said, and am going off to do me homework.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 9th, 2005 (Monday) 04:18 a.m.
Feeling : Still a little sore

Hmm... I've roughly recovered from yesterday's bout of violence, anger and blah blah. Thanks to a good night's sleep (I swear, sleep cures ANYTHING for me), a talk with Kyoji-niichan (T_T I missed you), and some usual nonsense yapping with Joyce (thanks for putting up with me).

Anyway, drew the character to the right to just take my mind off things. Worked I guess... and hurray for my own personal stock photo library (background you see there). Must take more photographs. Been not wanting to of late. BAAAAD. The whole character is done up, just that I haven't done a proper background or foreground to go with the picture yet (plainly put, she's sitting in mid-air at the moment).

Golden week is over. More school. Less sleep. But better pacing. Won't be attending that Blood event later today... why? Because my work has higher priority. Unexpected events on Saturday ruined my entire weekend (possible that the effects will stay with me for a long time too) so I wasn't that able to concentrate on my work.

Kyoji-niichan's words have left me wondering quite a bit. : |

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 8th, 2005 (Sunday) 03:09 a.m.
Feeling : ...... _|_

Right. Photography kept me together for half a day, and now the good effect's fading.

Mom, if you can't contact me, don't worry, I am physically a-okay. Nothing wrong at all. I just need some time to myself. No, make that a lot of time.

At the moment feeling irritated, frustrated, torn, offended, hurt (to sum it all, EXTREMELY angsty) and above all, angry. The last being an emotion I've not felt more than once this lifetime, but believe I've got bloody good reason to back it up with. Don't want to speak or even communicate, certainly not discuss 'what happened' with anyone remotely close to avoid blowing up at them senselessly so I'm cutting off everyone till I gather my sensible side together (current status: stuffed down the frickk'in toilet bowl with a rotten boot). Perhaps ripping someone up at the moment could take some psychological stress off me. Oh yes. Blood. Gore. Flesh. Bone. Tissue. Innards. Fluids. Oh yes. Though since I have no available RH (random human) to tear up, I'll just implode, like I usually do, and shorten my physical life (yay fun). Best I bury myself in homework. Sh*t now I can't even un-frown.

Best thing of all this, I'm not angry at any particular person. Well. Maybe myself, I don't know. Can't even figure that out at the moment.

Need some loud metal to blast negative emotions away, but I can't be bothered to look for any. Feh.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 7th, 2005 (Saturday) 09:32 p.m.
Feeling : Satisfied

My dedication, the first part of 2, for Mother's Day (or for me, Mommy's Day).

Full view (583x870)

Japanese give their Moms red carnations on that special day called Mother's Day. With that in mind I bought 3 stalks of carnations and fooled around for... o_O Geez... 3 hours? 4? Can't send Mom flowers though I want to, so this has to do. Love ya Mommay~ ^^;

... Looking at the comments on DA about the submission, I think the people there would flip if I told them the specs of my digital camera (digital camera, 3.1 mega pixels only). And what kind of [quote] interesting lighting [/quote] I used (my table florescent lamp lol, no kidding). o_O

I'm not exactly surprised with the results; after all I took a total of 56 pictures... *EXTREMELY tired* I have the 2nd picture to put up some time later, but it isn't even half this one's. Even my camera was heating up bad *pats it for a job well done*. Whoa 3 sets of batteries gone.

PURE GENIUS. A day in the life of Kuchiki Byakuya. >: ) A pretty darn good laugh. I swear I've not laughed this much in a long while. Check out them other chapters too. XD

One thing about doctors here... fine if you don't have medicine within the clinic itself, but can you at LEAST have the pharmacies NEARBY?! You expect people who aren't in the pink of health to run around far and wide looking for a darn place just to get their medicine? *mumbles* F**ked up system set up by old men running low on common sense. Yes, for your information, I was travelling (cycling) to and fro searching and asking, and only after the 3rd pharmacy did I actually find a place that was selling medicine on a Saturday. No, I'm fine, thankfully perfectly capable of cycling. But the absence of logic in this was just unpredictably stupid.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 5th, 2005 (Thursday) 09:05 p.m.
Feeling : Tired

My condolences... Lately pets have been... leaving a lot. Will be hoping the best for the little one...

I've taken a delicate bite out of procrastination's fruit, and do not favor the taste at all.

Still, no one but I am to blame for it. *Works hard*

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 4th, 2005 (Wednesday) 09:52 p.m.
Feeling : -_-

Stalkers suck. Real-life or online. I don't mean the one's who joke about it, but those that snoop around in the dark.

Shoot. *Looks at pile of homework*
Enough of being down and out. Time to get back to business.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 3rd, 2005 (Tuesday) 07:14 p.m.
Feeling : Hmmm

Thank you, ya little space on the internet called 'blog'... thanks to you I don't have to bottle up unhealthy negative feelings (no matter how silly or unbased they may be). I might not die too young after all. Regardless of whether people read (or even care), I can spill out the ton of crap somewhere, an outlet (good or not) for the repressed. For viewers... I'm sorry you've got to see such nonsense. You really don't have to read... : | Really.

Yay, finally a term that I can use for males. IMS. Something my old man has been suffering too long, that his marriage and quite possibly, family has taken too much of.

Haha... just watched Bleach, and Ichigo vs Renji in a childish verbal battle during next-week's preview is so darn cute. Also lots of nice pictures that have lots of icon-potential. }¦ 3

Now involved in a group project, and just saw the final, first product... It felt goooood. : ) Details later.

... I think it's fair to say I turn openly depressed when lack of food. Does that even remotely make sense?

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 3rd, 2005 (Tuesday) 02:36 p.m.
Feeling : Weirded out

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I need Vitamin B. Woot.

I need a desk with a built-in lightbox... sick of hauling my 3kg one out =.=

Everyone seems to be moving over to LJ... I don't think I will ever post all my entries there (not counting that backup journal) since I am but a whiney ranter no one really should bother listening to~

I wonder if China and Japan are heading towards a cold war... ¬_¬ Nevermind the textbook issue, but the actions of citizens strikes me as really childish... Come on... beating up regular people just cos you don't like what their government is doing's like me kicking someone in the groin for his granduncle stealing my peanut butter.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 2th, 2005 (Monday) 11:43 p.m.
Feeling : Silenced

I keep forgetting what I tell myself. Stupid memory.

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Either I'm thinking too much, or I'm lack of Vitamin B. Haven't eaten the last.... 24+ hours, and am unwilling to start. : | Not had the appetite.

Gah.... really hate the smell of dried / bad blood. Then again *holds up a thin waffle of some dried* Wonder why blood hardens like this...

I'm losing more frikk'in blood. Woo. Nosebled a drop or 2 just now. And I hadn't even touched my nose... Emotional / mental stress accumulating.

Got the old Tagboard replaced. Mmmm~ I like this... much more features to play around with...

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 2nd, 2005 (Monday) 08:42 p.m.
Feeling : Blue

*Sigh* So much for originality.

===============================

XD Fans on crack.

The following is by undead _milkman, about Byakuya going for group therapy.

BYAKUYA: "Hello my name is Byakuya and I'm a repressive mess."
HECKLER: "Hey! How come Mr. High and Mighty Noble is here?! What's the matter? Cut your tongue on your silver chopsticks? Your headpiece is stupid!!!"
BYAKUYA: *Scowls* "Chire..."
HECKLER: "Ack!" *is ripped apart*
THERAPY LEADER: "Uhhh... anyone have anymore... questions... for our guest?"

And then some by 15plus, bleach_fanart & undead _milkman about Byakuya's daily schedule... teaser:

5:00 Wake up
5:10 Sakura tea
5:15 Having hair curled
8:45 adjusting final curls
9:00 Look in mirror to check scowl
9:15 Look in mirror and grab thermometer to check temperature of ice-glassy countenance

This just kicked everything off. XD UGH. Too much crack. *dies from laughter* Thanks to the crack, stayed up till ... wow... 7am~

Random Meme:

Your Birthdate: October [--]

Your birth on the --th day of the month suggests that you are very lucky financially, because this date indicates a solid business sense. Although you are probably very honest and ethical, this birthday enables you to be shrewd and successful in the world of business and commercial enterprise. You have excellent organizational, managerial, and administrative capabilities enabling you to handle large projects and significant amounts of money with relative ease. You are ambitious and highly goal-oriented, although you may be better at starting projects than you are at finishing them. A sensitivity in your nature, often repressed below the surface of awareness, makes it hard to give or receive affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Now allow to freak from how accurate this is. O____________O Tested my family members' dates too... and more O________O

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 2nd, 2005 (Monday) 03:24 p.m.
Feeling : Ticked

.... *SCREAMS*

I HATE BEING WAKEN UP BY SOME IDIOT NEIGHBOUR'S FREAK'IN AMERICAN TV PROGRAMME.

Nevermind the goddamn fact it's some stupid millitary-like ass-of-a-boss voice screaming me awake. Do you HAVE to turn your damned TV on so *BLEEP BLEEP* LOUD?! *looks for something broken to hurl over* NONE. ARGH. The next time my keyboard screws, I'm saving it as a frisbee *(&!)(*%!

Weee~ Morita's performance was much, much much better in the drama CD... : Now why can't we have that level of quality in the anime?

Drawn last night, though I was supposed to do my animation layout. =_=; The girl character's zanpakutou~ I wanted 'dragon', but the dragon was taken by a certain 'Shiro-chan' so I went for 'phoenix' instead.

:

I never understood why some people 'drop in' on other people's journals to leak the gloominess or woe about how their life is [insert -adjective here]. Do it on your own and stop being a wet blanket. Others don't really care anyway.

Are humans, being monkeys (primates), doomed to imitate whatever people do?

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 1st, 2005 (Sunday) 07:37 p.m.
Feeling : Comtemplative

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This morning proved unusually eye-opening.... also made me realize just how much this 'trip' here has changed this individual unconsciously... Indeed, I have changed quite some, though it only shows through the most extreme circumstances.

I was browsing the wonderful photographs of space. Never fails to amaze and feed the imagination of young, active minds. It's ironic how spectacular the death of stars, or galaxies can be. Do they burst in such a dazzling display of unparalleled beauty just to shine, to make sure the universe acknowledges them one final time? Just how grand will our Sun's nebula be? How loud will the screams of a dying galaxy ring?No doubt beyond the comprehension of mere mortals. Just as the failing of one's physical body cannot be stopped, the end of a star's life will be reached. But like the never-ending cycle of destruction & rebirth, somewhere else, another young system will form.

Oh a side note, I wonder why I was asked to transliterate and translate an OP & ED when it was already done. XD Well... I suppose it's experience, but eks, now my internet clock is messed up again. After actually bothering to translate the new Bleach OP, I have decided I really really REALLY want the song. The lyrics I can most definitely identify with. Shall I get the D-tecnolife album~ Guess I'll give it a test listen when it comes out on Amazon.co.jp and decide then~ EDIT: Ack. They only HAVE 1 song. lol

UVERworld

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you and me, two have spoken

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~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

May 1st, 2005 (Sunday) 01:37 a.m.
Feeling : Resigned

Whoops... I forgot to post the colored version of that original character dumped into Shinigami clothes~...

&

from this crappy sketch ¦ D



Now... looking back at the rough I'm almost ashamed. o_O

"Once upon this same Earth
Beneath the same sun
Long before you, before the ape,
And the elephant as well
Before the wolf, the bison, the whale
Before the mammoth, and the mastodon
In the time of the dinosaurs..."

It's been years since I last saw The Land Before Time... But Don Bluth films, unlike Disney's, never lose their magical ability to reach down into one's heart. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has tears spilling every time the ending theme plays...

It was made during the time gradual cilmate change was the cause of the great extinction (grew up reading most texts supporting that theory), and though now most scientists agree that a large meteorite slammed into where what is known as Mexico today, no one will ever know for sure why these great animals died away. Also I did notice a very strange thing about the film; there's grass. Any real dinosaur freak would tell you straightaway back then, there was no such vegetation. Instead, ground was carpeted by ferns. ^o^

Random thought #1: Why in the world do people write 'Kubo Tite' when it's actually 'Kubo Taito'?

Random thought #2:
I ♥ My Mommy!
And I'm not afraid to yell it out to the world!!! >_<

Not-so-random thought #3: ^^ Even the slightest actions can reveal just how insignificant people view you. Most just don't see a reason to 'care' unless they 'want' something out of someone else, be it companionship, usefulness, escape etc. That's why I never expect much of them in the first place anyway. ^^ It's fun to see though... people who try to appear close to you suddenly make a boo-boo and give it all away.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~