B l a c k F e a t h e r s , v 4 .1
Picturelesque

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August 31st, 2005 (Wednesday) 11:03 p.m.
Feeling : Disappointed

The days are getting cooler... soon Sycia willl be sleeping well again.

Hahaha... Mola mola jumps outta water and onto a boy. How those fish every go fast enough to jump and lift their heavy bodies out the water I haven't a clue. o_O They look so sluggish and docile most of the time.

.... the last conversation with Mom left me exceptionally dotted. I've not spoken to her in about a month (phoneline cut off and what not) and barely after 15 minutes of chatting over MSN my lil Sis told me Mom was going off for television. I was dotted. Both us sisters agreed it appeared Mom placed the TV over her kids then Mom came back and told me in a rather serious tone that nothing was more dear to her than her kids. I was smiling for a bit.

But that promptly faded when the next moment, Lil Sis said Mom had gone off to watch whatever programme was on. RIGHT. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Now I know where that sarcastic streak came from.

Goddammit fuck. After a month of no contact whatsoever and I actually began to THINK I missed them, she gives me this. Next time I'm really not going to bother.

Oh yes. This is what happens when one expects too much of people. Tsk Sycia, you never learn do you?

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 30th, 2005 (Tuesday) 11:31 p.m.
Feeling : : )

O___O *dies of t3h kewut*

Had a fun time talking to a few of the other fansubbers. ^^ You guys are nuts. Downloaded a little proggy that allows for a sort of sound-only conference and was listening to the others (Sycia has no microphone T_T). Probably about time I got one since my family can't call me either now.

Also finished one piece of those 2 illustrations to be submitted to Ghibili. I'm rather happy with it~

Can't wait to scan it~

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 29th, 2005 (Monday_ 07:46 p.m.
Feeling : Thoughtful

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"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."
- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 29th, 2005 (Monday) 05:35 a.m.
Feeling : ...

Wow... Life on Earth is absolutely fantastic... O_O It quite literally, KILLS all beliefs on creationism (What the hell... people still believe this stuff...), and shows how life began. :O Though it's old (released in 1979) and full of cheesy music, sound effects and graphics, I fully enjoy watching the wonders of how life evolved from simple bacteria. Even better with David Attenborough actually EXPLAINING how things are the way they are instead of just showing us pretty pictures. ^_^ Brings back the days I was observing sparrows bicker over rice grains in the backyard and realized they actually had quite a complex hierachy... Man, I could do that for living with only burning passion to fuel this body...

Also been listening to a some of Vanessa Mae lately. I'm picky, so only like a few tracks~ Still, those few are pretty good stuff~ What can I say? <3 the violin. ^_^ Might share sometime.

I've just heard that a friend is terribly ill. So here's...

a short dedication...

Never stop.
Never rest.
Never wane.
Never regret.
Never look back.
Never give up.
Never lay lame.
Never slow down.

Too long has Man wallowed in the sty of his own desires.
Too far have they yearned for what they own not.
Too deep they live within the shadows of their pasts.
Too much they do not treasure what is dear till it slips from their hold.

Be content with what you possess, not what you haven't.

----

*sigh* It's just one of those rare days Sycia wishes the world would just shut the *beep* and enjoy a little peace once in a while.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 28th, 2005 (Sunday) 06:56 p.m.
Feeling : Peaceful

Dammit I can't do my storyboard complete with camera angles in mind when I don't even know how to manipulate the camera. -_- Have to watch some movies now eh. Cripes I never thought I'd be watching shows for homework so seriously.

Bleah I forgot: Wednesday I was trudging to school hauling a 3-kg bag of portfolios, stetchbooks and whatnot with my left arm, fighting against the typhoon with an umbrella in my right. Boy, what an experience lol. The portfolios and stuff were far too heavy to fit into any bag so I was holding it like a grocery bag. And my left arm's muscles are feeling really large now o_O Thank goodness my umbrella wasn't torn apart that time.

Hmm. Wonder what's going on at home... *sigh* Whatever it is, just hope everyone's fine.

Eh... I feel like a peacemaker sometimes.

*Flips* >_< I can only see Sasuke singing when I hear Sugiyama Noriaki sing. NOOOO! BAD IMAGE! VERY VERY BAD.

"No gift is too small to give, nor too simple to receive,
if it's chosen with thoughtfulness and given with love."

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 27th, 2005 (Saturday) 09:20 p.m.
Feeling : Hmm

Had a talk with Quex and got sent a nice photograph of a farm with nice scenery behind it. After which Sycia just turned into babbling blob of tomato pulp wishing she could visit the place.

Time to work on that 2 illustrations intended for entering a specific animation company...

Hahaha this is funny

And this.

And of course... the worst women drivers around hahahaha.

Hahaha, I'm quite sure this will drive a lot of people off the road panicking....

"I'm not denyin' women are foolish; God Almighty made 'em to match the men."
- George Eliot [Pen name of Mary Ann Evans] (1888 - 1965)

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 26th, 2005 (Friday) 11:44 p.m.
Feeling : >_<; Annoyed at self

One truly has to step back and really laugh at him/ herself on occasion. I worked for 2 days and nights working on a portfolio for a company that pays well, but deals with digital animation (Flash), something that I'm not keen on. Then filling out the resume this morning and trying to answer 'why' I want to enter the company and do digital animation, I found myself unable to answer, and slapped my head over with the table for being such a BAKA. I want so much to remain here (there's really nothing for me back home) that I got desperate and even thought of getting a job I won't enjoy. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I was almost thinking like one of those drones called adults. I'd rather SLUG it out with a low paying one doing what I enjoy. If my Senpai can do it without any aid from his family, I can certainly achieve the same or even better, so I don't need as lavish upkeep as others of the same physical gender. RAH.

With that done, I slept from 8am to 5pm after realizing myself such a fool, and am feeling better in days. Had been having flipp'in happy dizzy bouts everytime I turned or stood up quickly, but now they're all gone and I feel alive again. Haha, the photoshop entries here are funny. Plants + animals.

But this is terribly disturbing... X_X Imagine THIS flipping outta the water to greet you on a fine summer's afternoon.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 24th, 2005 (Wednesday) 06:44 p.m.
Feeling : Enraged

Reading encyclopedias and looking up extinct species done in by the o-so-selfless humankind as a child, I was disgusted. But being presented with clearer details boils me blood. Indeed my head is now pounding so hard it might explode after I make this post. My vision is also blurred and my eyes won't stop watering.

Yay for humans.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 22nd, 2005 (Monday) 07:15 p.m.
Feeling : I don't know?

Now, my mother doesn't have to fret about why I'm so un-feminine. ^^ She knows EXACTLY why now. Hahaha. That's yet another reason why she doesn't expect me to find a mate. In fact I imagine my whole family flipping if I ever said I got one.

Mom asked me to watch this: Interview with God. Why in the world did she ask me to look at it? She's not religious... but that's not the point. The advice in there, if anything, she should be looking at more than me, because she's so caught up with everything in life and its problems. Can't blame her though, now even the phoneline's been cut off due to cashflow problems over at the other side. *shrugs*

Which is really weird when I just spent nearly US$60 on fixing my bicycle tyre, getting photographs for my job applications & special medication that everyone WON'T let me NOT take.

Still, I've got to keep in mind there are always people worse off out there, and try to think positive. Focus on what can be done now. No point burying self in mountain of problems. Look ahead. Anyone to get bogged down by such things will not go anywhere in life. Smile, yes, smile~

"A sense of humor doesn't mean the ability to tell jokes or make
wisecracks. It's a sense of proportion and the courage to smile.
It's the ability to take yourself and your problems with a grain of
salt, the ability to smile at yourself and the world as well."
- John Luther

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 21st, 2005 11:39 p.m.
Feeling : Strangely bored

Ah... Bayu-chan dropped in yesterday. Discussed housing issues with him as well as employment details. Hmmm~ Pity he's moving away from Tokyo.

And UH................ in my last entry I mentioned a Japanese emailing me three times without me ever once giving out a reply. Well I just got ANOTHER email from her. This one's long, and she was telling me a summary of her life; divorced, with her ex-husband having custody of the kids, and living alone etc and how she wants to befriend me. Interesting that she focused quite a lot on her unhappy marriage. The 2nd last line of it freaks me.

I have interest in you.

>_< What the..?! I'm NOT a guy! And right now, I'm not sure on HOW to respond to her, if I should even at all.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 20th, 2005 (Saturday) 11:54 p.m.
Feeling : Disgusted

Suddenly that ancient feeling of unbelonging has overcome me once more. I shouldn't mind it too much though, since I don't belong anywhere here anyway. But I believe I have a right to be blue once in a while, feeling immortal at the same time too. An eternal watcher...

And at the same time, a resentful 10-year old hating the mundane adult world around it...

Also been having a slight problem the past few days. I'm not sleepy the least bit. No matter how late at night, or early in the morning, I don't feel the tiniest bit of exhaustion from heat, lack of sleep, work etc. Odd.

Been having strange dreams for the past 2 days. In the first, I was with another family (though they felt like my own at present, yet not). And I could transform into a camel. Why a camel? I don't know. Why's the sun red? Anyway, the family was trying to help me STAY a camel since for some reason I kept transforming back into a humanoid against my will. Still, why camel?!

Second one was weirder. Charlie Sheen was in it hiding from some spies or something, and he even passed off as quite a pretty girl (eh?!). What the hell...

A few days ago I recieved an email from some Japanese telling me my email address was included in some sort of chainmail. She was warning me that the mail might have contained a virus. I ignored the mail, until today when I receive 2 more from the same person saying that she had some trouble with her PC, but it went away after she restarted, the next email saying she wanted to be my email-penpal or something. The second one was interesting; she went on about how she's over 30, living alone and feeling lonely. What in the world makes people send out emails like this? Sorry, I'm not the compassionate kind. I never sent a reply and she sends me 3 emails hmm. How perculiar.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 19th, 2005 (Friday) 09:09 p.m.
Feeling : Inspired, energetic like a bounding kangeroo

Watching Life of Mammals 2/10: Insect Hunters. Which says bats use a complicated little sonar-like tracking system to detect their prey that humans supposedly can't hear. This doesn't make sense to Sycia because she can pick up bats using that anoyingly high-pitched squeak-squeaks all the time. o_O It gives away their pressence to her no matter where she goes. Along with bats, other high-frequency sounds that other people don't seem to notice, never get pass Sycia. Electrical applicances of almost any size and magnitude, PEOPLE given the surroundings are completely silent, and sometimes I even hear great blasts of high-frequency sounds that just simply come outta nowhere or just 'pass by' me (I'm beginning to think they belong to beings of another medium). Then there's another issue of me being able to pick up low-frequency sounds like earthquakes before I can even feel them coming. -_-; All this put together, you might think Sycia has a very keen sense of sound, but no. Human speech is somehow very, VERY hard for her to pick up. I'm not sure if that's a problem caused psychologically, but I've pissed off a lot of people asking them to repeat what they said. Talk about selective hearing. Though thinking about it again, I don't really hear these high or low frequency sounds, they all come more to me as something between feeling and hearing. o_O Did that even make sense?

I've been watching wildlife documentaries ever since I can remember. They're the only genre of television programmes I watch with no hesitation whatsoever. Most of the books I owned as a child were either mostly on wildlife or Nature, and unlike other children ready Disney stories or fairtales, or even Enid Blyton, I read encyclopedias and their articles on species. Yes, you make scream "NERD!" or "GEEK!" now. My mother only really noticed my ability to name about 95% of animal species shown in documentaries before their names had even been presented, rather recently (maybe about 6 years ago?), and I do pride myself in being such an enthusiast.

Life of Mammals is quite possibly the most dynamic of any wildlife documentary I have laid these eyes on. Though I've only seen up till the 3rd part (Plant Predators), the presentation of each group of animals is so unique, so detailed, yet so colorful and well synched with its musical arrangement, I can only gap with awe. I've been watching wildlife documentaries. I've held little respect for herbivours most of the time (typical carnivour attitude yes) but watching just a single part of this 10 episode series has made me think and certainly look twice at the hooved creatures. Their grit, their defenses, their nerve, their anger, and their triumph against predators so wonderfully presented here... Like a gazelle fearlessly attacking a baboon upon its helpless calf, or a furious horde of buffalo DRIVING lions off one of their own... It's not the competition between the hunter and hunted that's being told here (as told in every other documentary 109796215 times), but rather shoving the viewers right INTO this grand story, stiring emotions with its great cinemaphotography and directing. It is still a documentary at heart, but in places it transforms into the most extraordinary movie. I highly recommend this series to any fellow wildlife lover out there.

Not to mention there is a virtual trove of referance material in this series for my animal animations.... <3 <3 <3 Might post more pictures of the series in my Livejournal at a later date.... <3 <3 <3 David Attenborough is fast becoming my favourite presenter; smart, passionate, handsome, TRUE, and indriscriminately frank about Nature, be it the harsh realities or beauty. On a side note Sycia wonders why people get horrified of a sequence where chimps hunt and tear apart a monkey. Why do they get so shocked? Why do they react so different from when say... a lion takes down antelope? What difference is there? I do not understand.

"Our body is a machine for living. It is organized for that, it is
its nature. Let life go on it in unhindered and let it defend itself,
it will do more than if you paralyze it by encumbering it with remedies."
- Leo Tolstoy [Count Leo Nikolayevich Tolstoy] (1828 - 1910)

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 19th, 2005 (Friday) 04:20 p.m.
Feeling : Refreshed

Jumped out of bed this morning and went straight back in after being overcome by a bout of giddiness... I shouldn't do that again.

THE AIR IS DRIER!!! It's as hot as any other day but the air is DRY and the wind is actually COOL. @_@ I could sleep 8 hours!!!! And wake up not SOAKED in my own perspiration!!!!!

Got 'Prehistoric America'... a documentary with BBC's famous 3D animal modelling of long-extinct beasts. Ordinarily I would enjoy such a show, but for some reason I minded the little quirks of bad animation far more. o_O Like the trunks of mammoths going about fast and heywiryed like they were spasming, or the sabre-toothed cats' odd walk cycles that make no logical sense gravity-wise... o_O That's all, of course, ignoring the fact that every animal of the same given species WALKS the EXACT same way unless they're injured or something o_O.

Thank goodness for the documentaries though. Not every animal in there is CGed. I can get reference for those that aren't. ^____^

"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him."
- Brendan [Francis] Behan (1923 - 1964)

^ -_- I agree. I just wish I could be treated as one of the guys WITHOUT this happening. Annoying.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 18th, 2005 (Thursday) 02:30 p.m.
Feeling : Emotional

Bloody hell... One serious drawback of the rain is that mosquitoes emerge in bleed'in swarms to terrorize cities after dark.

I had a rather unusual conversation with a fellow fansubber last night. He's an Israeli, and was talking about the current... issues in his country. Sycia being the cold-hearted human-hater she is, could only listen distantly as he poured out his angst and sorrow. Then he sent me an mp3 of him singing (which I reluctantly accepted). He likes singing you see. When I heard, I was overcome by the emotions he had felt; weeping for the people he so cared for in a ruined world. And I finally could relate my feelings; everyday, bleeding tears for Nature raped. My heart was suddenly moved.

Amazing what music can translate that mere words can't. I do not pay attention to 'lyrics', and the song he sang was no different. I DO, however, depend on the instrumentals together with the tone of singing to create the mood for me to appreciate a piece of music (hence I lack the ability to listen to rap, trance, dance, techno). Lyrics mean nothing to me if you're talking about TRUE music. It's meant to be felt, not listened to. Perhaps it's with music that I can bare myself, without any masks to fake, that I can be truly honest with. ^_^

So we spent hours discussing and sharing music with each other. I could mostly only offer him traditional Celtic songs since he's got almost everything anime, but he did send me a single anime song that was so beautiful, I was in tears by the time I'd finished giving it a test listen. Put my head between my speakers to feel the full effect of it too (now I understand why people get obsessed with surround-sound systems).

Thanks 'bud. : ) Hope we can chat (or more like listen) again in the future.

Side note, wtf Sesshomaru's seiyuu Narita Ken can SING. o_o

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 17th, 2005 (Wednesday) 10:05 p.m.
Feeling : Not sober

Met EM again today (been bumping into this person a lot these days) and mentioned I wasn't feeling too well. EM was being a sweet little darl'in about it. ^^

Saiyaman's Bleach 45 raw came out real quick last night. Thank goodness. There were so many lines to translate (203 + 293) and tons of explaination to go through so it coming out at 9:30pm meant I could take my own sweet time. The 4-hour nap before helped a lot too. I could even re-check myself more than usual.

"If you pick up a starving dog and make
him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
- Mark Twain [b. Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835 - 1910)

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 16th, 2005 (Tuesday) 06:04 p.m.
Feeling : Drowsy

Okaaay... looking at the amount of spelling errors in my previous post you can see just how tired and sleepy I was. Took a bath to cool off after that and went back to sleep, waking only 4 hours after the whole episode.

It's only then I actually realized how big the quake was. I sleep like the dead, and by the time the earthquake happened (11:51am), the heat & humidity of day had already caused my mind to be somewhat awake, and very very grumpy. I felt something like I was being tossed around my bed (this only recalled half an hour ago) and made nothing of it since I just wanted sleep. Then a shirt I'd been hanging above me dropped and I was forced awake, also finally feeling some gentle swaying/ vibrating in the earth registered. Because I only felt this small aftershocks, I had no idea of the full scale of the shake. And upon checking Yahoo.co.jp, I was confused at the reports of a 'huge' earthquake that left Tokyo shaking 4 on the scale. The small sways felt by me were more like a 1...

... deep sleep can be dangerous~~~

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 16th, 2005 (Tuesday) 12:00 p.m.
Feeling : Grumpy

*mumbles*

Got woken by an earthquake. Wasn't that strong... the whole plave was just swaying a long time and clothes I'd be hanging abnove me dropped.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 15th, 2005 (Monday) 11:04 p.m.
Feeling : ...

Hm. Not been blogging for a bit.

Really, nothing much has been going on for me aside from finishing up the rest of my portfolio. And getting wanderlust AGAIN.

Wildlife documentaries are ♡.

Feeling rather feverish today. Expected, since summer naturally makes me an insomniac. ¯n¯. Humid nights that can be as stuffy and hot as the days makes it hard to close one's eyes. Don't tell me to get an electric fan since I already have one blowing directly at me. I even bath with the coldest of water that the shower can belch out at me but it's NEVER cold enough. Stay in there for a good half an hour trying to cool my body down but this system is on its own energy run like a heater that never turns off. Then there's the deafening racket of them crickets (I still want to burn that tree nearbydown) and shit going on day and NIGHT to add to this wonderful period called summer. Give us rain kthnxbye.


The Bestial Vampire

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Interesting photograph. That's definitely not blood because the poor model would be puking at the taste of congealed reds. Ew..... >_O *shudders* Congealed bood tastes horrid. Dried blood smells bad too. The above sounds more like a werewolf anyway... Give me a plot of land untouched by humans and I shall be rendered harmless.

Been taking a few Harry Potter quizzes and I keep getting someone called Snape. Looks like a grumpy o'chap. He needs some color in his wardrobe *heads in his general direction with a bucket of electric pink paint*.

"I'm so cool, you can keep a side of beef in me for a month.
I'm so hip, I can't see over my pelvis."
- Zaphod Beeblebrox

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 3th, 2005 (Saturday) 11:31 p.m.
Feeling : HOT.

X_X Woke up LATE. In fact Joyce had to call me up at 9:40am... and I was supposed to meet her at 9:30am. I looked accusingly at those 2 set alarm clocks after putting down the phone only to find them innocently STILL set, with their alarms that SHOULD'VE rung 20 minutes on end until I would have to switch them off. What in the bloody hell is going on with them?

No excuses though. Down I rushed to Shinjuku and made up (hopefully?) by settling Joyce's lunch before heading off to watch the FMA movie a second time. The audience was dead quiet today. Stale people!

Our plans for the fireworks display never materialize. Mostly because the weather these 2 days has been really unpredictable, swinging from rain and none quicker than Japan should see.

Just finished watching BBC's 'Wild Down Under'. Teared a lot.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 12th, 2005 (Friday) 09:22 p.m.
Feeling : Hmmm

It's much cooler today, meaning I woke up not perspiring for the first time in about 6 weeks. At last I slept about 7 hours straight without having to get up frustrated from the heat. Rained some. I'm glad.

Oh god I want to visit New Zealand again... backpack/ cycle around the coasts... capture the spendor on camera. It's been many many many years since that family trip there, but I still have such fond, vivd memories of the beautiful country. It's a real pity I never had my own camera that time. Certainly didn't need Lord of the Rings to appreciate it. The only beef I have with it was the smell. Of the North Island. o_O Stink'in volcanic activity that made the place all... farty.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Radio show... I swear some random minor character referred to as 'Pterodacytl in Myurax (?)" (random character at a destructive flying party) sounded like Andy Serkis (Gollum) -_-. Did manage to pick uip Christian Slater's voice, and confirmed it with the ending credits, but that former random character wasn't given any. Hmm. Agrajag is my absolute favourite character. XD The poor soul... being played silly buggers around with Fate and such, fueled by such hate towards Arthur Dent. The performance by the voice actor is so hilarious I can't help but love this short-lived character. ^___^ What I find even more surprising that this character, for the HGG's radio show aired in 2004 - 2005, was voiced by the late Douglas Adams (author of the series), pre-recorded years ago. He's quite a good voice actor. XD

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 12th, 2005 (Friday) 03:50 p.m.
Feeling : Hungry

And now I get people complaining that I didn't record EVERY single scene of the FMA movie in my summary. Yes, carry on whining. Please do when I had no obligation to write the summary, when I woke up at 4am in the morning to rush down to town and catch the earliest movie, lining up for hours on end fatigued then rushing home and speeding off on my keyboard, wracking my wonky memory to get the summary out right after it even though I only saw it once. Yes, carry on. DO carry on.

Thank god I quit.

Meh finally scanned in my old monster designs and re-compositied them for the portfolio. Tedious process cutting the printouts and laying them out on B4-sized sheets.

Downloading some wildlife documentaries nowadays. <3 I love them... ^____^ In that way,l Bittorrent really helps people from THIS side of non-English speaking countries watch stuff that isn't telecasted here.

I'm amused. Most of the lines, save some I had trouble translating into, are used directly from what I write. Well I was raised with British English, but I never saw my command of it to be... 'formal'. Especially when it comes to translating anime. o_O Wonder what Lunar's version sounds like if that's the case...

Not going to post that little 'homophobia is wrong' thing everyone's doing, but I do want to rant a little on it. Tell me what the hell is wrong with homosexuality. Don't give me shit like it's 'ethically, morally, or naturally' wrong. Tell me SPECFICALLY what the hell is wrong with it. Homosexuality has existed among animals for longer than the narrow-mindedness of humans have, and I certainly see it existing way beyond it. What damn business of people is theirs to mind who someone else likes? How dare they poke their noses into other people's relationships, going all justice-like claiming they are wrong. What the heck drives them to be so biased? Is it the way they're brought up; that women should act one way, and that men another? Is the gift of affection one's own RIGHT to give to whoever he or she pleases? Is that it? People who simply shun away from the what's not normal. It's not unlike the 'witch' hunts of Salem. I'm not homosexual myself (in fact I'd rather argue asexual). I'm not ethusiastically GO for homosexuality, but I'm not against them for being themselves. It's not my place to command who should like who, and that should never be anyone's. So much for the open-mindedness of the modern world.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 10th, 2005 (Wednesday) 11:35 p.m.
Feeling : Excited

Well, the Bleach Society team released 44 a little while ago. The RAW was late, and I was terribly sleepy at first. Mayuri talks too damned much. Then his maggot of a kid came up and I got too disgusted to doze off.

Slept at 6:20am, unable to stay in bed long because of the heat. I was thinking about working on my portfolio this afternoon but for some reason the fansub guys were much chattier today so I spent time having good 'o fun there. ^^

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 9th, 2005 (Tuesday) 10:32 p.m.
Feeling : ARGH

: ) Am so glad I invested in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Special Extended Version.... It should be pretty clear which character of the film I love (alright, them ringwraiths aside...).

Going for one of those fireworks display on Saturday at Okutama... one of the farthest ends of Tokyo, and 2 hours from where I live.

It is HOT. I don't know how the hell I'm going to translate Bleach 44 tonight with the freak'in air being so still and DAMP. I tried taking a nap to prepare but no can do. Uncomfortable no matter what.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 9th, 2005 (Tuesday) 12:30 p.m.
Feeling : Eh

Had a somewhat saddening dream... or dreams. There was a jumble of at least 5 different dreams but I only remember one where my dad was telling the whole family he was going away, never to come back....

[EDIT]
Just called home and am glad everyone's safe and... regular-sounding. Mom's taking a break too. Of course I didn't tell them my reason for calling at this hour... :x

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 8th, 2005 (Monday) 11:52 p.m.
Feeling : Sad

Have been running into EM a lot these days. : )

And also the influx of random common Japanese nouns inserted into English sentences is annoying the heck out of me. Now I know how stupid and immaturish I must've sounded 3 years ago. Yuck bleah.

Met up with Joyce yesterday afternoon after she lost her way a tad and explored more of my station than I ever had. Bought her lunch, and desert. ^_^ That doesn't really say how grateful I am to her for knocking some sense into me, but I did try. Nice pizza buffet. ^^; Then we moved to one of those family restaraunts for work discussion and such, then came over to watch the extended version of Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the . Ring. It's been months since I purchased the thing from Amazon.uk but never got down to watching it. Hmm. : ) Interesting. I think I shall watch the rest within this week. }:)

Ah yes, and I forgot to add that in an attempt to keep from slipping into the darkness called slumber while rushing for the presentation on Saturday, I downed a bottle of drainwater coffee. The stuff made my mouth stink the entire flipp'in day. How the hell did it get so popular with people? Not that the caffine worked on me anyway... the foul, vile, cursed taste lingering kept me awake for about 2 minutes at most.


You are sad because of your grief
Why are you sad?
brought to you by Quizilla

Indeed. If my heart bled tears of blood I'd have made the oceans crimson before my 10th year. Yet I do not see life as hopeless. *looks up into the sky longingly*

"One cannot weep for the entire world. It is beyond
human strength. One must choose."
- Jean [Marie Lucien Pierre] Anouilh (1910 - 1987)

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 7th, 2005 (Sunday) 12:29 p.m.
Feeling : Rushed

Ah, finally back online...

This is what happened on Thursday:

Went to school to try getting the teachers to approve of the plan for that final year animation. Ran into Iijima-sensei (a professional, and the director for Pokemon movies, I've heard and when I acutally bothered searching, TV animation series like Yuyu Hakusho, Lupin, Clamp Gakuen Tanteidan, etc :o wooo). He was being nice about it but I couldn't get the problem he was trying to point out in my plan (in fact I hadn't been getting what all my teachers had been trying so very hard to drill into my head since March about it) so went back home and called Joyce up to ask her opinion as a kind of last desperate resort since the presentation of it all was to be on Saturday.

And thank God I consulted her. After a very good session of getting slapped over the head several times with the raw truth, unbuttered and plainly put, I FINALLY saw what the heck was wrong with the whole thing. Why I didn't see that earlier on, well maybe I just got too into the project to look at it from a sensible point of view...

So it was back to the drawing board (changing the written plan completely around). I initially planned a sort of music video thing, but that got scrapped and I went from that, an epic production to a simple linear story with much, much, MUCH less work. XD. In any case, I worked on the written plan for the new storyline (with a great nice push from Joyce) till 4pm on Friday; needed a LOT of time to straighten out my thoughts and think about what the animation's message to the audience was to be (fine if it's just a personal animation for yourself but for this project we're designing for a target audience).

Then I worked on drawing 33 pieces of B4 sized paper till midnight. My main characters are still horses, and if anyone doesn't know how difficult it is to draw them (particularly now because I had to draw them MUCH larger than what I'm comfortable with on B4), go try them out yourself. Not to mention it was a storyboard that featured the characters from so many different angles, so I strived to maintain sanity while rushing them 33 pieces out to look good for about 8 hours straight (finished the pencil drawings at about midnight, characters + background). Then it was onto PAINTING the 33 pieces. I got done in 4hours 30 minutes; fast in comparison to the drawings because I was doing the coloring water-color styled.

So at 4:30am on Saturday morning, I was running about like a madwoman finishing my painting before jumping into the shower for a quick bath, emerging to start typing/ printing out my written plan, after which I started on the project's screen play.

During this time of unprecedented unhappening, exhaustion I had to kick out of my system, so in replacement came voices in my head and bouts of incredible mental journeys in / out through my inner conscious / outer space and a ****ing influx of information roaring right through my head. Thing is it lasted about 2 seconds each time it happened (I can recall 8 times at least that these blackouts occured) and there was just SO much to think about that I simply forgot everything the moment I remembered myself. I only know my Japanese screenplay came out half in a language I couldn't comprehend and that went off in a flick of eraser (too bad I was in a rush or I would've kept the odd piece of script and showed...).

8:15am I had to leave for school. I was not about to risk riding my bike to school after all those blackouts, so on the bus I went. Hadn't actually finished my screenplay so was writing it on the train (during which so nosy man asked me what it was, but he was ignored).

After a short 15-minute nap I was oddly refreshed to stay awake during the first part of the presentation before my turn. We had an audience of the ENTIRE animation course (2nd years) and 20+ teachers critiquing, so needless to say all the groups / individuals presenting were darn nervous. Many groups had to go back to square one, several got scolded by Iijima-sensei (who couldn't stand anime-otakus trying to simply make a 'cool' animation). Me? I was too tired to even feel any stage fright, which is odd considering I was hoding a mike talking and showing my storyboard slides in front of the entire hall by myself. I think my presentation had the least amount of critiques from our lecturers since the story was simple. In fact I was given more tips on how to make it even simpler. O_O AIGATO ISHIWATA SENSEI. Fortunately or unfortunately Iijima-sensei hadn't been present when it was my turn. I would've liked to have heard his opinion of it. Teachers and coursemates alike were very impressed at the amount of material I had gathered on American wildlife (featured in my animation). o_O Well it's pretty common-sense... how can you do an animation about animals without studying about them..? I went back to my seat unscathed. o_O

So all in all, I am indebt to Joyce for opening my eyes. Thinking about it I'm such a BAKA for not seeing this earlier. I had been down since March because there was something wrong with my idea and I couldn't place what, no matter how the teachers tried to explain I never got it. Now, thanks to Joyce, I'm free of the mental cage I tossed myself into.

‚Æ‚¢‚¤‚킯‚Å�AƒWƒ‡ƒCƒX

‚ ‚肪‚Æ‚Á�I

And I finally feel sane again after sleeping 9 hours... Meeting Joyce for lunch in a bit and perhaps going to rent a few movies. : )

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 3th, 2005 (Wednesday) 11:59 p.m.
Feeling : .... x_X

¯_¯; You know you're tired when you've been up all night translating, and misspell 'countless' as 'cuntless'... -_-; It's a good thing I spotted the mistake and rectified the thing before passing onto the next people in line.

Raw arrived late, and stayed up till 12pm (I did NOT sleep the whole peachy night). Bathed, slept. Woke up perspiring (summer humidity thing), bathed again. Am going to bath yet AGAIN before turning in. Even the coldest of cold water isn't nearly as cold as I'd like it to be now.

And damn it. I'm stuck with my already imbedded British accent and can't bloody switch it off now this time. Had my mother given me a chance to actually speak yesterday she might've noticed this and helped me do something, but no. This comes after listening to the entire telecast of Hitcherhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's radio program (about 26 x 30minutes) over 2 days.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 2nd, 2005 (Tuesday) 11:58 p.m.
Feeling : Hah.

There's been an influx of spiders into my living quarters while I was away... oO Cute little black buggers that hop about awwww~~~~ Well... as long as they don't get in my bed or food, I'll let them stay. It's a little comforting to know you're not the only thing organic around in a small space.

After listening to the first 13 telecasts of the original BBC radio program: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Thanks to Batsu-kun for showing me the download links :D), tuning into a Japanese radio station sounds so... alien...

Took a nap and slept right through Bleach 43...

And talking to my mother these days has redefined the meaning of torture. No, wait. that's not actual talking, I simply pick the receiver up, greet, listen to 15 minutes or an hour's worth of woeful suicidal whining that sends across a storm of grey clouds over the telephone line, then say goodbye. In 3 or 4 weeks of not hearing from my family, I can only get a single phone call consisting nothing of a repeating lead ton of yadaa yadaa 'I wanna hang myself because I don't have no money', or 'Life sucks life sucks life sucks life sucks life sucks life sucks etc' sort of verbal misery. Beautiful isn't it. Here's to the highs of adult life. Are children, or people who still haven't had their inner child locked up and bound with barbwire somewhere in the back of the heads the only exclusive species capable of being optimistic...

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 1st, 2005 (Monday) 11:57 p.m.
Feeling : : )

Now that I'm done with that titanic vacation summary I can resume regular blogging. ^_^ Sycia is a much happier person now. Suddenly all her songs (even the sad) make her want to dance and fly off ~

Went to school intending to hand Ikada-sensei the special ... er... food I bought for her, but she was off today. Another teacher I talked to recently (oh dear, I didn't ask for her name or I forgot *AGAIN*) entertained me. : ) The teachers were all hyped up after hearing that I booked a trip to Hokkaido so that led on to other conversations.

Payed bills, lurked around the mobile cellphonse section of Bic Camera because sweet mother of god I LOVE this model. O_O Made me crave for a cellphone for the first time ever. O_O SWEEEEEET. I want the red one.... Ain't cheap though. I suppose I'll wait for the price to drop. If the red one gets sold out by then, too bad~ ^^ I have to be careful with my yen from now.

Realized at about 2pm that I hadn't eaten anything since 8am the day before. o_O That's 30 hours without food and I didn't notice. o____O Maybe it's my body's way of using up all the extra nutrition I consumed while in Hokkaido. And speaking of which, I want to slap myself for not remembering to have BEEF while I was there. o_O; Oh well, there's always next time!

Paid bills and ran some errands. Before I knew it, evening had come and my plan to see the FMA movie again was away with the wind. Well I can go anytime either way... ^^

*Flips* I know it's mean to laugh, but the difference in culture here sends me into a fit...

Awwww.... cute parrot....

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest: You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth. At Your Lowest: You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked. In Love: You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve. How You're Attractive: You are very affectionate and inspire trust. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

Very true.

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~

August 1st, 2005 (Monday) 10:14 p.m.
Feeling : ^_^ Happy

I ♥ Hokkaido

:
:

Photographs:
} Day 1 - 3 {
} Day 4 - 5 {

Travel route:

Back from the North!!!!! :D And rather happy. ^_^ Hokkaido is great.

Day 1: 26/07/2005 (Tuesday)

After going to school for a bit and talking things out with Ikada-sensei about ... issues, met up with Joyce, had an early dinner (I forgot where?) at Shinjuku, then to Euno for that special train (Hokutosei) that comes with beds (we took a car with 4 cramped in a tiny room). There was a typhoon blowing hard. Train left the station at 7:03pm and I had turned in early. Woke up at around 10pm, and talked to Joyce, who had stirred from me coming down from the double-deckered bed, till about 3am (issues concerning securing a job here and all) then slept again till 6am when the we reached Hakodate and that loud announcement came on.

Day 2: 27/07/2005 (Wednesday)

Did managed to sleep some more till about 10am. Reached Sapporo. Apparently the typhoon followed us (vice versa) and it was raining all over Hokkaido anyway. Gray all day with bloody strong winds ripping through the forests. Changed trains at Kushiro to Nemuro. Saw beef cows, horses and deer along the way (eh, the last keep getting in the train's way). Being from Tokyo, riding on a one-car train through the countryside was a new experience. Typhoon was strong so while we travelled by the sea the waves were just roaring in hard. We arrived at Nemuro (the eastern-most train station in all of Japan :D) around 6pm or so and battled the strong cold winds (12 degrees at the time?) with meek umbrellas. I was wearing sandals, so my feet were numb by the time we struggled our way into the traditional inn. Checked in, had a nice hot soak in the hot baths, and were presented with a feast of dinner. Nemuro's famous for their crabs ('hanasakigani', meaning 'flower-blooming crab'), a sea-dwelling specie that has spikes all over its back legs and claws. Japanese equivalent of a durian? In any case we were each given half a crab each. Crab roe is a big thing for Japanese (crab's pricey here, the roe's like gold) but I can't eat the stuff, especially after having twice more than my usual amount for dinner. Don't get me wrong, the dinner tasted GREAT; I was eating like an emporer (Sycia loves Japanese cuisine more than some locals) but too much crab... couldn't move by the time I was done (left the whole body alone and ate the flesh in em legs). Crab roe looked gross so wasted it (uh my Dad would kill me if he knew). Entered the hot baths again ( ¦ D ) and went to bed exhausted.

Day 3: 28/07/2005 (Thursday)

Woke up in the morning to find the skies blue (there were clouds around). Breakfast wasn't included in the plan, so we got dressed and ready to go down to the dinning hall to pay for the meal (I can't walk around in 16 degrees C weather with strong winds and stay warm without a proper meal to kick-start my body). When we went down though, the innkeepers offered us breakfast as a free service. This is why I love traditional inns over hotels. : ) Much warmer an atmosphere. I ate quite a bit (What? It was like 13 degrees out there. I didn't bring a coat/ jacket/ pullover of ANY kind). Beautiful weather that I could enjoy after being warmed by good food. ^___^ Sunny, like cool and windy. We walked around town a bit, head down to the coast and watched the rough seas still bearing signs of the typhoon blowing somewhere out there, and large seagulls. o_o Then it was off to Kushiro again to switch trains to Abarashiri~ Had about an hour and half to spare at Kushiro so we walked around looking for breakfast. At first sight it looked a sizable town, but the streets were rather empty. o_O Felt very very strange. And there wasn't a place to eat. We walked a long time before stumbling into a quaint little store where I had cha-han, Joyce tempura soba. Then continued on exploring the eeriely deserted place. Time to head for Abashiri. We were staying at a hotel there. Took a while to get to it from the train station. Had Kentuckey Fried Chicken for dinner (my first time having it in... 3 over years!), then a strawberry ice-cream for dessert while walking down a nice quiet river. Just to note, this hotel room was pretty large (your wallet would be shred if you wanted one this size in Shinjuku).

Day 4: 29/07/2005 (Friday)

Got up early to have a 'western' breakfast at the hotel. o_o; Bit of a miserable thing compared to the Japanese-styled breakfasts but food is food. Then walked along the town / river again and found Samurai Deeper Kyo characters (namely Hotaru and Benitora) on some 'do not litter' signboards. o___O I'm weirded. Found some nice flowers on a bridge and angled the camera up at the sky because the overall landscape made for horrid composition. Then we were off on the train again. As we headed West to Asahikawa, the sky turned greyer and greyer, then rain. -_- Don't remember what was at Asahikawa. Switched to a rather new-looking posh train to head for Furano. It's a famous place known for its fields of flowers, so for the first time in Hokkaido, we actually saw foreigners. Hong Kong-ers to be more exact. o_O Bit of a noisy bunch. Anyway, Furano looked wonderful. I was marvelling at the majesty of the immensely overwhelming mountain range staring down at us ants more than the fields of flowers though. If not for the bad weather I would've been just awestruck. I want to be the giants' pressence again soon. We stopped by Furano station, got a few souvenirs (some freak winds turned Joyce's umbrella inside out >_O) and were off to Takikawa, then Sapporo. It was raining there too //( ¯0¯)// .. We found even restaurants at department stores so reasonable it was us being spoiled for choice at dinnertime. Geh... yeah... Tokyo's way more expensive than the rest of Japan. Took the subway to the hotel and discovered there was a fireworks event going on nearby. For some reason the hotel management shoved us a suite. o_O I'd like to know why too, but we were ecstatic nonetheless. 2 poor people living lavishly for about a night :P. Some nice glass trinklets being sold at the lobby, but I just got myself a cute little 100 yen pin badge for a vending machine; warning road sign that warns of deer.

Day 5: 30/07/2005 (Saturday)

We woke up much later that day. Hearty breakfast buffet at the classy post-modern hotel before setting off to explore Sapporo, the largest city in Hokkaido (we had more than half a day before our flight back to Tokyo). That particular hotel's far from the main Sapporo train station so we took our time walking there without much help from a map (o_O the city's layout is VERY easy to get around). Along the way we stopped by a temple, Oodori Park, the famous clock tower, and former government building now park (where I spied on some ducks and shot them. With a camera of course, during which I ran out of space on memory card and went frantically deleting pictures). After that Joyce went to get a game of hers, we bought our train tickets to the airport, Sycia huffed to get a new memory card for her camera (was meaning to do that for some time), then had another reasonably-priced meal for lunch~ I would've never gotten around to such places if not for Joyce. ^^ After that got around to finally getting more souvenirs for my family, Sis : ), and Ikada-sensei (and the other teachers helping me so much with getting a job here). Bought something for myself at the airport. Some chocolate cream cake that was so rich and heavenly I could've floated off like on those cooking anime shows when some lady let me try a teeny-weeny bit of it. :D~~~~ (Note to self: MARIMO!!!! and CILONE!!!! Awww) then we were off to the plane~ Was on it snapping pictures of clouds. To bad I wasn't on the West side so no photograph of a naked sunset~ Got out of Haneda airport (Tokyo's domestic airport) feeling the horrendous humidity absent in Hokkaido. We took a limo-bus back to Shinjuku and Joyce came over to stay the night.

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So that was my 5-day vacation in Hokkaido. ^^ It's quite a pity the weather was over on us, and that we spent most of our time on the train. This trip has really made me want to get my driving license. So many places in Hokkaido cannot be accessed by train or foot, so yeah. Cycling would be better for me but for some reason my companion thinks otherwise... o_O This trip merely introduced us to the wonder of the island; we're only at the tip of the iceberg. I was mentally feeling extremely brittle when I left Tokyo, but now that Nature has healed me, I'm up and ready to GO again. Thank you Hokkaido. ^____^

♥

~ ~ ~ ~ painting the skies with each wingbeat ~ ~ ~ ~