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L A C K . . . . . F E A T H E R S . . . . . v4.0
IMAGE-LESS
Yeah..? You got a problem with that, H U H ? ? ?
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+ + March 27th, 2004 (Saturday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Awake, WIDE.--
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Been having absolutely whacked up dreams of late. Last week I was touring the whole of Russia, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam. Then after that, it was Chinese New Year visiting in Japan (???). Yesterday, I was a jockey, then some general in a tactical (?!) war against slug-people. o___O The war was won using cheap, oldern-times methods like pouring boiling oil, catapulting boulders.... and all this took place in my language school (big plaza area).
Joyce came back on Thursday and showered me with offerings of strawberry pocky (sure they have it here, but it's ridiculously pricey) and instant Lipton tea packets. We head down for that yakinuki place for a last dinner, and Sycia pigged out from not consuming meat for at least 2 months (maybe that's why I was a rock inside lately). So empty without meat.... -_-;
Situation back home, while I didn't expect it to get any better, I never thought it'd get this bad (破産だ). But with this petrified rock-of-a-heart, worry nor panic is not quite registering....
Nasa-san claims I don't look like a person who's gone through death 2 times, in his opinion. Exactly how is a person who' died before supposed to behave??? And I did not understand the point of him asking if there really is a god. In my opinion, you are your own god. As to if I saw anything while I was dead, I'm not saying anything to it because everyone will have their chance.
And after Chrono called and woke me up last night, I tossed in bed for 2 hours, with an over-heating body in 6 degrees (Celcius) weather. But Sycia is still full of boundless energy.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 11:29 a.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + March 18th, 2004 (Thursday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Ranty--
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Now's good a time as any to admit I've been completely frozen over. Rants are still hot, however.
Oh, perhaps except poking fun at the original Godzilla by Japan that looks so obviously rubber, ridiculously clumsy by movement (wobbling side to side and destorying cities in your wake is warped logic) and hilariously dumb expression (rubber face, so sue me). Logically speaking, such a "monster" (I prefer to call it a toy) wouldn't be able to even get up on its feet if felled by one of the thousands of random enemy monsters (including giant moths, 3-headed dragons etc which I think are worth the title "monstaaa" much more than rubber-Godzilla itself). Godzilla can't even lift its feet up to its own knee level, and with such a bunlky body, imagining it swimming (speeding through oceans) brings nothing more than explosive laughter. Nevermind the fact I just saw Godzilla "fly" backwards by using its fire breath like a jetpack. Guh. And I don't get why Japan and the rest of the world is in love with this pathetic-looking rubber toy (okay, maybe I do: Go with the flow, be with the crowd, that logic). Unless you want to apply the One Piece logic of rubber being practically indestructable, Nessie could have it for lunch.
Mom's worried for me, I gather. She thinks she gave birth to someone bisexual in the head. *Looks at her mother strangely*. Just because I can think both ways doesn't mean that... I would prefer the term asexual, but that aside, she's saying I should mix with more of my own gender (physical gender). I don't see where that line is going... I don't like to discuss, gossip, bitch or find out a million worthless things to talk about some other person I saw a few minutes ago. When females get together, they mostly talk about _other_ people. Like what their girlfriend/ guyfriend was wearing, what bad fashion sense they have, what scandal's currently about in the office/ school etc etc. Just what the hell is wrong with me not liking such small talk? I have far better ways to spend my time. I do not find such discussions worth even a penny, nor are they "fun" or "enjoyable". On the contrary it only emphasizes on how shallow people are. No wonder people love to bitch about others to me; Sycia = brick wall = gossip stops there. But then again, I can understand my Mom's worry...
Conversation with Mom over the phone:
Mom: So who're your friends in the dorm, aside from Joyce?
Sycia: Hmm... An Indonesian guy, a Cambodian guy, Mongolian guy too, a Laos guy...
Mom: Hey wait wait, why are they are guys?
Sycia: ... I don't know. I just don't talk to the girls.
Mom: ....
Sycia: What? It's not as if I flirt with them Mom... they treat me like a guy!.
Mom: That's what's worrying me.
It doesn't help that the guys treat me like one of them either. They go walking about in briefs around me, asking if I think is cute/ pretty/ nice etc like I'm one of them. Interestingly enough the guys are much more open to discussions about theories and ideas while females just brush them away and continue to gossip away on small, trivial things. Perhaps that is why most 'great' people are males.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 12:23 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + March 15th, 2004 (Monday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Happy ^^--
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I'm surprised. Managed to catch Sis online today... Sitting beside an annoying old man who's mumbling to himself and typing away at the keyboard so furiously like it bit off his johnson or something...
Kinda busy... my moving plans have been ruined because the guy at the dorm's orientation was so nice as to forget mentioning a very important point about moving in earlier than the 31st and having to pay a set fee for every day before it.
You are the chinese element of Fire. People who are under the element of fire are considerate, sensitive and communicative. Fire, you are a conjuror, and you hate boredom, butterfly emoitions and you also crave excitement. The color of fire is red and your symbol is the phoenix. Summer is the season in which fire shines and it's months are April/May. Your weather condition is heat. Fire is the direction south, and your day is Tuesday, while your planet is Mars. Animals under your element are usually winged. People under you are the Hans. Your sense is taste, whereas your taste is bitter, your sound is laughing and your virtue is propriety. Your organ is the heart. You were created by Wood and you
control Metal.
Which of the 5 Chinese Elements Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Considerate, sensitive and communicative. Hahahaha. I'm flattered. I don't like Tuesdays. And I adsolutely despise summer. ><
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 12:19 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + March 15th, 2004 (Monday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Happy ^^--
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I'm surprised. Managed to catch Sis online today... Sitting beside an annoying old man who's mumbling to himself and typing away at the keyboard so furiously like it bit off his johnson or something...
Kinda busy... my moving plans have been ruined because the guy at the dorm's orientation was so nice as to forget mentioning a very important point about moving in earlier than the 31st and having to pay a set fee for every day before it.
You are the chinese element of Fire. People who are under the element of fire are considerate, sensitive and communicative. Fire, you are a conjuror, and you hate boredom, butterfly emoitions and you also crave excitement. The color of fire is red and your symbol is the phoenix. Summer is the season in which fire shines and it's months are April/May. Your weather condition is heat. Fire is the direction south, and your day is Tuesday, while your planet is Mars. Animals under your element are usually winged. People under you are the Hans. Your sense is taste, whereas your taste is bitter, your sound is laughing and your virtue is propriety. Your organ is the heart. You were created by Wood and you
control Metal.
Which of the 5 Chinese Elements Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Considerate, sensitive and communicative. Hahahaha. I'm flattered. I don't like Tuesdays. And I adsolutely despise summer. ><
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 12:19 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + March 12th, 2004 (Friday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Weirded out by Japanese...--
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Finally, some time to type. Graduation ceremony was on Tuesday. Boring little thing, but for 100% attendence I got a 3000 yen book voucher (which was spent almost immediately; comics and a map of Tokyo). The class was up for a farewell party at a bar, but I wasn't too keen on drinking in the company of noisy people, nor did I want to inhale smoke-heavy air for 2 hours straight.
Wednesday; Dorm orientation. The area around that dorm I've moving into kinda resembles Kinomoto Sakura's (Cardcaptor Sakura) neighborhood. High-class residential area with plenty of sakura trees and small parks. Far from the train stations though. The orientation was nothing more than going through the necessary procedures and the guy explaining each and EVERY rule in the dorm. Half of us were sent to dreamland. We were allowed to view a room though. Nice.... About twice as large as the current one I'm in, lots of furniture. I've been assigned to the 4th floor. ^^ Moving in on the 25th.
Thursday: I had to go down to my school (in ochanomizu) to get some documents done. Went down to Akihabara first (about a station from my shcool), found I didn't have enough cash, walked half an hour to find an ATM, half an hour to get back to the comics store to get a pile, then walked another half an hour to school.
I swear, Tokyo is full of weird people. I particularly don't understand why I get confronted by so many... -_-; I was stopped by some woman yesterday, out of the blue. She just suddenly exclaimed that my "eyes are beautiful". ????? So weirded out by it that I made an mini-comic...
1, and
2.
New photographs of plum trees and misc up.
Red Youre a very-very passionate person. If you believe in something, youre with it til the end. You know how to get what you want and you know what you want even better. Your eyes burn with a sense of being and drive. Youre bold and aggressive but very implosive. Sometimes you should really calm down and think before you act. Some people are really hurt by your words and way. But I know what youll say: So what. Just stay outta my way damnit Im like that too ^_^ (rate me)
What color is your mind? (Anime Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 12:08 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + March 4th, 2004 (Thursday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Creative and contented.--
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Woo. And 2 weeks just flew by...
Not much happening around, just the graduation examinations. Getting an A for everything makes all that hard work worth it. Now to put them creative juices to work...
Currently looking forward to moving into that new dorm. Joyce, Lina-san & Chou-san are all returning to their respective countries right after graduation, so it's going to be lonely for a while. No biggy, since I've got a fair bit of preparation to do.
Finally, I'm going to see Return of the King on Saturday. Yes, I know I'm awfully late. o.o; But I forgot about it while worrying about a place to stay.
いい感じがする。やっと独立心が養った。金でも、支え
でも、誰にも頼らないで生きていて、最高の生き方だ！
Yeah... I just hate relying on others for anything. I haven't been deemed 'proud' before, but this borders it. ^^
孤独な夜でも 迷い恐れる時も
今はひとりでも この足で
どこまでも歩いていけるはずだから
- Gensoumaden Saiyuuki, Alone
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 05:08 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + February 27th, 2004 (Friday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Rushed... -.-;--
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Heart of Stone
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla
Haha! What a surprise.
You're Element is Flame. You have a strong, independant, fiery personality and you obviously don't ley other's puch you around. You like being in charge and don't care what other people think. In fact, you like to stand out and be yourself. You're probably shy when people first meet you but your a ball of energy that could explode at any given moment. You like to laugh and whether you admit it or not, you like to fight. You're peronality that is wild and untamable. You're beauty is physically fit and a little sexy and you have a very pretty face.
What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla
The description's mostly correct, but that picture doesn't fit at all.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 02:13 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + February 23rd, 2004 (Monday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Starving.--
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... hungry...
Blood, meat, rice, fruits, hell even vegetables I'll take at the moment... ugghhh.
A more coherant entry when I don't feel so wasted.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 12:28 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + February 20th, 2004 (Friday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---XD--
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Hehe. I got into the dorm. The lottery-drawing was held just now. Since the number of females and males allowed in is fixed, pretty much everyone was looking at everyone else of the same gender with silent murderous intent; most of them betting on getting into the dorm, not planning ahead for if they couldn't get in. 12 places for females, 11 females. All got in. 12 places for males, 23 males. Hmm. Otouto no. 1 and the 2 Indonesian guys didn't manage to get in. ^^ Looks like a higher entity listened when I was praying for Nott-san ("He's a good person. Help him please."). Otouto no. 2 got in, as well as Pirum. Frankly speaking I was just as prepared to go out looking for an apartment, as much as I was hoping to get in the dorm. Mom called a few minutes ago to ask about it. I am glad. And I need to go out and party for a bit.
Joyce got Shadow Hearts 2 yesterday. Which means I am going to be stuck in her room watching her play from start till end. Crap. Next week's examinations... *brings textbook to Joyce's room*
Oh yes, I had brought Otouto (no. 1) to donate blood (I had said I was going and he hopped on, saying he'd ever done it). Both of us were refused. ^o^ Me? I only eat once a day, so the doctor didn't want to take the risk of me going "furafura". Otouto? He comes from Laos and there's a serious malaria problem; he can't donate blood unless he's been in Japan for a full year. I'm pretty amused.
Just reminded. Independence Day. Remember those aliens that hop from planet to planet devouring resources? Well they aren't so alien after all. Humans will be assuming that role pretty soon. Why? People are all ready to dump earth completely and go live on Mars. That's why.
Of course, many people reading this would just tell me to shut up and give it a goddamn rest. They really make "ignorance is bliss" really worth a say. They really don't want to hear the truth. Like Neo when he was first told what the Matrix really was...
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 05:32 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + February 18th, 2004 (Wednesday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---憎みに充満した…--
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I've not had a nightmare in years. Perhaps even a decade. Not even a whacked up dream with my insides dropping out through a neat whole onto the living-room floor into a weird orange-yellow pile could qualify (on the contrary, I woke up laughing). Most people I've discussed dreams with say dying in their dreams is terrifying, but I seem to get that every week. Nothing terrifying, just a feel of release of some kind. That and my dream never ends there, just continues on.
I gaze up to the sky; still blue and endless. I overlook the sea; still deep and unknown. I regard the earth; still strong and nuturing. That alone gives me reason to smile, but at the same time sadness overwhelms me; humans aren't keeping it that way. そのどころか、滅ぼしていく。
The recent focus of lessons have been on pollution. Not surprising that I frown a LOT more in class, or that I got so mad a vein decided to pop and leak out through my nose either because of the simple 'solution' humans have on it.
Conserve energy. Recycle glass bottles. Buy recycled paper. Etc etc etc etc. The hell? This is no solution. All you fools are doing is slowing down the process. IT SOLVES N.O.T.H.I.N.G.
We were forced to do debates in small groups (part of some lesson). Eventually it came to my group discussing on babies being born. Down to the core, I just stated humans destroying the earth being the reason why I'm against it and everyone just gets the shock of the year. They went about giving me some lame crap reasoning about me thinking too much and etc. Honestly, what's there to think too much about when all I am saying is the bare, naked truth. It's plain to see everyone is just wrapped up in their own world, out to deny every shred of brutality be it truth or lie. I shouldn't blame them though... Every living thing is naturally selfish, truly caring only for their existence. People would rather worry about their shopping list, or the next person they're going to lay rather than this. Difference between animals and humans on it? Animals don't lay entire continents of forests to waste in a single decade, or expel enough poisonous gases to contaminate rain even before it falls. Anyway back to my classmates; the usual thing followed; they were left with nothing to back their denial with, so moved on to a safer topic. But of course, not before trying that lame, last attempt at me, "Aren't you human too?". Fools. Trying to change the focus on the subject? I am NOT shaken. I may be ashamed for being born among the pests I depise so, but I am thankful I can see beyond denial.
日本では、「護りたい人がいるか」と良く聞いてある
が、私には「人」でなくて、「物」だ。自然が私の護
りたい物だ。命が捨てるまで、存在をかけても護りた
い。クソ人間から…これが私の使命。
Tune the Rainbow:
君が流す涙 拭うためだけに 僕はここにいるよ
雨上がりがきれいなように 泣けば心は透き通る
丘の上で見渡す世界は
今日も愛で溢れてるはずなのに
迷い生きる僕らは気づかず
やさしい愛の歌さえ届かない
守りたい ただあなただけを その笑顔輝く日々を
守りたい 孤独に囲まれ 悲しみに揺れる心を
いつの日も
僕が誓うすべて すべてを賭けて 僕は失ってゆく
愛しい人 君を思い 君とともに生きてくよ
やさしすぎる僕らはコワガリ
本当の気持ち 上手に言えなかったり
わざと大きなことを言ってみたり
それでももう大丈夫 満たされたから
愛し合う僕たちは 強い風の中 離れても
愛し合う僕たちは いつもそばにいる 祈りの中でずっと
守りたい ただあなただけを その笑顔輝く日々を
守りたい 孤独に囲まれ 悲しみに揺れる心を
忘れない 風や木々を あの日見た夕焼け空を
忘れない 大好きな歌 何度も読んだ絵本の侮・BR>
守りたい ただあなただけを その笑顔輝く日々を
守りたい 孤独に囲まれ 悲しみに揺れる心を
忘れない あの高い空 青い海 夏の陽射し
忘れない あなたと交わした言葉さえ 何もかも
つかのまの虹・・・
きっと君への架け橋になるだろう
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 04:17 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + February 16th, 2004 (Monday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Amused--
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Feeling a little dizzy from the buzz of activity over the weekend.
Saturday:
Woke up early to get a tiny rice-cooker from the Salvation army shop before hopping down to Shinjuku with Joyce.
The property agent drove us to the apartment Joyce was eyeing, but mein gott what a long drive. 2 and a half hours in a car with a smoking driver jammed roads and fag smoke. -___-; I did find out I require less oxygen than normal humans after that though. We were really wondering if we were still in Tokyo when farms and golf-courses came up. Something was up with the wind that day too; blew like a hurricane. Yokota Air Force Base wasn't much to look at from the outside, though the town it's situated next to looks all-American. Frankly I would love to stay where Joyce is going. Cheap, quiet, neat shops, but probably 2 hours to my Polytechnic by train. Oh well. You can't have everything. We wrapped things up at a fast-foods' (her treat, and I didn't have more than 100 yen), where I discovered, from a huge hanging mirror, I'm growing more muscular by eaten just once a day (freaky). She's decided on that great-looking apartment, and going to settle the final things with the property agent while I play bodyguard (requested lol). o.O
Sunday:
I had been bugging Bayu-chan to show me to a all-you-can-eat yakiniku buffet in Ginza but never could find the time. Joyce, him and I set off early and after floundering aimlessly around Shinbashi, stumbled upon the restaurant. For some reason it was filled with enough foreigners to equal an international airport. 980yen for an hour. Lots of fresh beef, roman lettuce, salads, fruits, jelly... To all Singaporeans: Soeul Garden is dirt. Finally some relief after 3 weeks of no-meat. :o~~ Pity that I couldn't stomach as much as I wanted though. I am going to drag Joyce there a second time before she moves o-so-far-away. MEAT!!! The sun was out in full power; my back burrrrned.
Gotta run. No time. Not even for sleep.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 03:42 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + February 13th, 2004 (Friday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Like crap, but free.--
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Sleepy (I've only gotten 6 hours of snooze in 50++ hours), hungry (haven't eaten in the last 24 hours), tired (studied for a test in the previously stated condition). Now that's living.
Okay, I finally had enough thinking. It ain't the end of the world if I can't get in the dorm. And I won't depend on my parents. *Throws worries out the window and sleeps much better*
The Player's Handbook arrived, together with a red shirt 3 times the size of my other shirts. I think I shall feel offended on this one. o.O?
The ravens have been... getting real friendly of late. Shocked me off my feet when one brushed past my sleeve from behind, then perched on a ledge in front and blinked at me innocently.
For once, I can safely say there are TOO MANY KING OF FIGHTERS FUNNIES TO BUY! >< Cheap, but I can't possibly haul back that many (and I don't have the space). ><; I will be kept busy translating em if I ever get that Iori-shrine back up. Hell, I can even start a site exclusively for K.o.F funnies with the amount of books I'll be getting/ already have... *idea*
Famished of late... I guess miso-soup and nothing else once-a-day isn't really working. MEAT. I need MEAT. Haven't had MEAT in 2 weeks. Dragging random people off the streets and into alleys would be cheaper than getting beef from the supermarkets, but I don't think they'd be much cleaner...
Oh, and Mom hasn't once given me that "money is important" lecture (apparently her favorite) ever since I told her 'bout the 1 meal a day thing. ^^ Thankfully.
Gave Bayu-chan a little introduction to Dungeons & Dragons. He apparently likes the idea, and I wouldn't mind an over-dramatic player to spice things up big time. Not that him saying he'd play a female character was anything surprising, but him acting it all out ('cute', 'petty' etc) was... Gay (and take that both ways).
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 05:36 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + February 4th, 2004 (Wednesday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Grrrr...--
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Thursday or so, saw a big plump dead raven on my why to school. T.T 15 minutes later some small grayish-blue bird (clearly an insect/ berry eater) landed down near me, hopped about in a little dance (wagging that tail nonetheles o.O) then fluttered off. If this is an omen, I wonder...
Oh yes, and this morning a raven perched on some railing while I walked past, tilted its head to the side and blinked at me. ToT Too... cute.... fluff.... thing.... *melts into a puddle*
Recently got hooked on Devil Devil (manga). The drawings I don't love, but the storyline and humor's catchy to me. Plus I am basically bored out of my mind. P.S: If you click on the above link and find scanlations somehow, don't come telling me the conversation's cheesy or weird because English just doesn't have the spectrum of already-included feel/ emotion within words, unlike Japanese. The people over at the 2nd-hand bookstore must have noticed me wandering around 3 hours looking for anything interesting to read. And just to note, I have gotten hold of 5 more King Of Fighters funnies in 2 days. >< All 5 for less than US$5 (used but not in bad condition). It's annoying because I bought a book for US$10 each back in Singapore...
Went down to actually search for apartment rooms. The only 2 property agents Joyce and I went to, surprisingly, entertained us. The 2nd one with a young guy with an amazing zest for work. I feel almost in debt to that fella. He called up more than just people, other property agents as well (90% turned him down because the 2 customers are foreigners) and still kept a genuinely smiling face. Made plans to go see 2 rooms. One's a mansion (in English: a better apartment basically) with 6 tatami mats' worth or space for 2 rooms and the kitchen each (sue me I don't know what's it in cubic feet/ meters) for 105,000 yen monthly rent. It's sure worth the money, but hell I can't pay that much, with enough to spend on living, furniture, electrical applicances and drawing materials. Going to take a look at it on Saturday either way, to see if I like it enough to take up a part-time job (1/100 chance of that...). In any case I'm truly grateful to that guy for trying his best for us... Briefing concerning the dorms will be held tomorrow, and I have to make a decision soon...
Asked to compose short Japanese poems (短歌) in class and this is what I came up with:
眺め見て 灰色の壁広げつつ
安らぎ得るが 鳥何処へ飛ぶ
My classmates, who have no idea I habor such hatred towards a particular specie of mammal, had no idea what my poem was about...
What breed of horse are you? Find out!
A Mustang, the wild breed of horse that roamed America in the 1700's and 1800's. Like the movie Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. You are an outdoorsy character, you'd rather go camping than attend the fanciest dance in town. Matter of fact, you're rarely in town. You'd rather gallop like the wind in some huge wild prairie, and you're free as a butterfly. (Okay, maybe that's a bad analogy)...
You never have and never will have an owner... you're free!
Your coat colour will most likely be: buckskin or dun.
Not surprising. Like my father I refuse to serve ANYONE. Freedom is my all. Tame me? I'd rather die.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 04:48 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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(integrated MPD), tormented in the soul & schizophrenic in the heart. Languages understood: English, Japanese, Chinese, Hokkien, Teochew & Malay.
