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L A C K . . . . . F E A T H E R S . . . . . v4.0
IMAGE-LESS
Yeah..? You got a problem with that, H U H ? ? ?
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+ + April 30th, 2004 (Friday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Amused--
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Haha, got this off Kyowa-chan.
SYCIA
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From the Irish root meaning "Swamp"
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Expression
sycia is drawn to the scene of an accident by morbid curiosity.
Personality
sycia would not be a good candidate to babysit your children.
Natural
sycia likes animals-- perhaps too much.
Emotional
sycia is a quiet loner.
Character
sycia tends to get others down.
Physical
sycia has a problem with body odor.
Mental
sycia isn't overwhelmingly intelligent.
Motivation
sycia hates dealing with the details.
What's in a name?
Haha, I would say most of it is true.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 11:48 a.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 29th, 2004 (Thursday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Fulfilled--
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Wohoo. The ADSL modem arrived yesterday evening. Called up the ISP people and they said I could start using the internet immediately. The setup was... troublesome. Windows XP does have a habit of making things so beat-around-the-bush. But after that I was surfing to my heart's delight till 6 in the morning (old habits die hard).
Then the scanner and printer came this morning. Alright, now I am complete. Maybe except for dinner...
Mei: Do you still use ICQ?
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 05:44 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 28th, 2004 (Wednesday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Bitter.--
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Oh yes, the relationship between my Mom and Dad has been shot to hell and beyond. As usual, Mom was pouring out her sorrows and frustration to me. Apparently this time, my Dad was made to wait to fetch my sister while she finished with her tution class, and just 10 minutes of waiting made him blow up and start scolding my Li Sis about everything, and cursing my Mom 'useless'. Nevermind that, one of my younger cousins happened to be in the car then, and he didn't bother holding back on anything. He's the kind of person who will put a non-existent blame on everyone and anyone once he gets the least bit irritated. Oh, that and he never apologies even if he knows he's in the wrong. My Mom and Lil Sis hate the sh*t out of him now and I really can't blame them. He went too far this time. Maybe that's why I am so content to be in Japan on my own, not having to take all his unreasonable scolding and the like. Mom was going (again) that they're only sticking together because of their kids (stupid kids... yes I am well aware I am one of them, but to have caused my Mother this much sorrow makes me want to just kill all 3 of us for her sake). And then she'd go she's depending on her kids (me, specifically) from now to make $$, so she can leave my old man and have a happy future. I know she's my mom and all, and make no mistake I do love her very much, but such a money-minded person who says she wishes she had more money 20 times every phone call, and deems emotions less worth than money, really makes me sink into thought on why she wanted to have kids in the first place. It looks like it was merely for money for her later years. From what I observe, she married solely for that purpose. Back then my Dad was rich and what not, and my mom didn't seem to mind being treated like dirt as much as she does now, so yeah. Hell, why do I even bother. Most people marry for security (their spouse + children supporting them in the future etc, selfish). But anyway, she keeps telling me, "You're my only hope now. I wish you'd make it big there..." and blah blah. Why? Money. Money. Money. What a selfish thing to say; I feel so burdened by the fact I'm deemed as nothing more than a backup breadwinner. Yes she loves me, but the greed for money seems to loom over it far more. She's practically BEGGING me to bring in the cash everytime she calls. I don't say anything about how I think she's too biased and money-minded (because she gets all defensive, resulting in an argument that gets nowhere), so she probably thinks I'm just listening and agree. Heh.I would support her even without her asking, but the fact she's being so desperate... it disgusts me, really. Almost as though she'd jump at whatever male holding the most cash around. If I've never mentioned it before here, I'll say it now: I don't like how weak-minded people allow themselves to be so manipulated by money (money-minded people, most of the female population). My mother being one of the many. Hah, if I were run through by some burglar right now, she'd be crying over the loss of her child for about a year, but a decade or two over the loss of a secure source of income, I'll bet you that.
.... so no wonder I don't feel like returning to Singapore any time soon. If she's so into money, I should just save her some and just stay where I am now until I make trillions of yen to send to her. Then she'll finally stop complaining.
Ah. A lot better.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 05:36 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 27th, 2004 (Tuesday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Tireeeeed and frustrated.--
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Hmmm, it's been a crap day, really. I don't believe I've had worse for quite some time...
Morning: Rain was forecasted for the whole day, and to top it off I had an exceptional lot of drawing materials to hual all the way to school for lessons. So I passed cycling to the train station (raining, duh) and decided to take a bus. It didn't come for half an hour. Nevermind that, the first train that arrived was full, and I was shoved in. That had to be the worst morning crush I have ever been caught in all my life. Why? Well for starters, I was caught in a weird angle, and trying to shift positions was futile since everyone was squeezed in far more compact than sardines (hey, at least sardines have their insides somewhat intact). There wasn't anything to hold on to, but no biggie, there wasn't any space to even fall down either. ｡ｪ_｡ｪ Halfway through I heard something in my bag go 'crack'. My file. That's how bad the people here SQUEEZE impossibly into the trains. Really, one wouldn't know the horror unless he/ she has experienced the worst of the lot. I got pushed out walking backwards at some transfer stop (not the one I wanted to get off in) and nearly had my leg caught between the train and platform thanks to everyone's kindness. People, what on Earth is the rush?! o_o If you're so hard up on time, then just leave your homes earlier. My mood was fouled by the amount of things to be carried, more than the actual crowd though.
Lessons: Design Fundementals the whole day from 9:20am to 4:30pm. The teacher looks strict, speaks long and boring, and he killed plenty of brain cells by going through 3 hours of mundane talk about our drawing materials. Other than that school was fine. I felt really bad about being "..." to Mio-san. Still too mentally tired to carry out a conversation in Japanese ergh.
Evening: The rain got heavier over in Suidoubashi (where my school is), but it could be managed somewhat fine. But when I got back to the station nearest to my dorm, well let's just say if it wasn't a typhoon, it sure felt like one... My sturdiest umbrella was utterly destroyed by a single gust of wind that swept by not more than 3 minutes after I braved out the underground station, into the open. What was left of the umbrella, I hung on to dear life (lest it hit someone behind me on its merry way along in the wind if I let go). I admitted defeat in the end and took a break at some sushi store (､ﾈ､｡｣｡｣｡｣､｢､ｸ｡｢､ｦ､ﾋ) before heading back. The winds' still blowing like crazy outside now... But thank goodness it won't be raining tomorrow.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 05:33 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 27th, 2004 (Tuesday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Thoughtful--
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Alright... I've been lazy and skipping the blog bit. Have only been coming on once a week in the last month because of school starting and what not, so I'll just start on the school camp first.
CAMP:
Day of departure, I left the dorm at 0530 hours. One very good trait of the general Japanese I admire; they are always early or on time, unlike people from my home-country. ¬.¬; Reached the meeting place about an hour and a half later. Since no one really knew one another (yet), it was basically a whole lot of people standing around with luggage at their feet, being creepily quiet. The buses arrived on time too, and I was the second to board (window-seat hehe). Some girl took the seat beside me and after a cautious 10 seconds of considering what course of action to take, I got on with that whole introduction formality and our conversation began from there. A little later on another girl took the spare seat next to us. Both of them have been in Tokyo less than a week; they come from different reigons of Japan. Buses departed, we talked some more (formalities), but stopped halfway through because of drowsiness, or the fact that Mission Impossible 2 was played at volume that blasted my ears out everytime an explosion occured. We had stop-overs along the way, toilet breaks, art gallery, sketching etc. By the time we reached our destination hotel in Nagano, a mountainous area somewhere near Tokyo, it was 4 in the evening, and raining badly. Split up into groups of 4 for room assignment. Mixed with another bunch of 3 girls who aren't the vain sort (their conversation content consists more of animes, games, seiyuus, stories etc). Now that's the sort of bunch I wouldn't mind being with, 'cept that well, the conversations' in Japanese and I had trouble putting forward my more abstract ideas. I may have only taken a year to achieve an advanced level of the language, but I was seriously short of speaking practice. Though at first, when I spoke to them a bit and told them my name, they were a little confused, thinking I was a local at first. The yell of shock they let out after I told them I was foreigner... priceless! Dinner was a bash. That had to be the best buffet course I had ever seen laid out in front of us... :þ~~~~ The company was good, and that somehow made the food taste even better. After that, some presentation by a couple of ex-graduates (one who's doing STEAMBOY <--- Purdy backgrounds. O.O) then free time till snoozetime. Oh yes, and I found out that locals do have qualms about going into the onsens (hot springs) naked with strangers. Odd... what my language school said contradicts that, but oh well. Next morning was a great meal, then we were head off to make soba (zaru soba to be exact). For some reason everyones' turned out exceptional hard. o_O I was glad I had a heavy breakfast. More sketching at some park with an artifical lake and a small bunny area. ^^ Sketched my best sitting alone on a bench, basking in the sun. Arrived at a different hotel in the evening, grouped with the same bunch of 3 girls again. There seemed to be nice onsens there, but people going down the escalator to the lobby get to see you in full view (I don't get the logic of having an onsen/ hot spring right next to a common corridor lined with clear glass...). After dinner, the presentation of our sketches + a self-introduction. What I found out; there are very few students born and raised in Tokyo in my animation course, the only other foreigners are all Korean, and there are a very few great artists with beautiful pictures. ﾅｷｹ2B｡｢ﾁ｢｡ｦ｡ｦ｡ｦBOh, and I am one of the oldest there. The following day, just heading back to Tokyo, though we were given a little bit of free time to 'shop'. Another girl asked to go with me, around looking for stuff. Didn't have a reason to turn her down, so okay... Of all the things you'd think you'd find in a mountainous reigon of Japan, I never, in my wildest imagination, expected to find a stone statue of the merlion (Singapore's symbol animal thingie). It was in front of some Asian restaurant (though I highly doubt it serves Singapore cuisine...). o___O Still weirded out by it. Found a Ghibili store and got something for Joyce (small black cat, from Kiki's Delivery Service, plush keychain). After that, head back to Tokyo in one shot. Got back to the dorm at about 5pm, at which I set my luggage down and started nosebleeding like a tap because of the accumulated mental stress from forcing myself to socialize over a span of 3 days. It didn't stop bleeding till half an hour later. And the next few days was made hell by it namely because of exhaustion (12 hours ++ of sleep each day after that) & lack of blood (fainting spell on the train a day after the nosebleed, also caused by stuffiness and too many people crammed in). And just to note, I don't get what's this thing with Japanese girls and cellphones, but with all the exchange of numbers and emails, the number of entries in my phone's address book doubled after the camp.
After the camp was done, past graduates gave some talks; One woman being in charge of making NARUTO. I was quite impressed with all the character sketches/ profiles and storyboards she brought in. Though... *snickers* I didn't think she had to explain the personality of each character when she allowed us to view a recent episode in raw format. ｵｮﾊ7l｣｡ｦ.｡ｦ｡ｦ｡ｦ｡ｦ｡ｦﾃｷ爍ｦﾛ爍ｦ｡ｦ｡ｦ｡ｦ｡ｦ｡ｦH Another woman, background artist who does some for Bobobo (????), Inuyasha etc. Her backgrounds... *looks and cries in envy* ｴ蠢"｡ｦIｴ蠢"｡ｦI｣"ﾇ爍ｦ｡ｦ､"ﾈ綺ﾎ"ﾇ軫ﾁ｣蠑羶ｹﾐﾍ陬｡ｦI >.< That was inspirational, as well as heart-breaking. :P Still have a LONG way to go, but I'm giving it 200% of what I've got... raaahahaha.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 02:13 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 26th, 2004, Monday + +
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--Feeling?---|---Mentally drained.--
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Okay, back from a week or more of hiatus, and a 3-day camp.
School camp was... stressful. Made me leak out a ton of blood when I got back, and a fainting spell the next day because of that. Never force myself to be friendly again. Although it did get plenty of Japanese people talking to me but yeah... -_-; Stupid me.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 02:23 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 18th, 2004 (Sunday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Neutral--
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Woohoo, got that new computer. The screen is unusually huge. *.* Though operating Windows XP in Japanese is not fun at all... X.X Waiting for that internet connection and trying to find an ENGLISH keyboard.
Finally done with all the paperwork at school. My classmates look.... young. I'm not too sure if it's just the difference in body-built but I feel 8 years older than everyone. There was some meeting for the foreign students that I felt mightily offended in when them teachers spoke to us like we were criminals or impending ones. -.- I do not believe students charged with miconduct, shoplifting, theft etc from this school were ALL foreign students, but they sure made it sound like that.
Joyce came over to bunk in on Friday after we went for a good dinner. That had to be one of the first times I felt sickly from eating an ice-cream too sweet.
Have a school camp starting Monday; some make-friends thing that I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable with... Uh... Oh well. I guess having contacts does help you get along so I'll try to work on being... friendlier.... *sees close friends all look at her in disbelief...*
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 06:02 a.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 13th, 2004 (Tuesday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Aching.. ><--
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Okay, I must have left many people going ??? with that last post. Just as it says. Someone please post me a large part of garden scissors. Stupid dickhead ( I don't usually swear but this word really applies to that guy since he was thinking with his dick the time he approached me), I can give him the hormone control he needs so badly.
Just attended my school's the opening ceremony. oo The teachers... are... funky. One came on stage running about with a tennis racket and another had a fwaaaa hairdo. Hope they're as whack on the inside too. And the guy sitting beside me had a growling stomach throughout the whole thing. oO
Had another strange dream day before yesterday. Flying again. This had to be the most detailed dream about flying. It's not everyday that you dream knowing how to fly. As in how to angle my wings to catch the wind and gather enough life to take off (though as always I had a little trouble with the take-off), how to steer, ascent and descent, and then the land. I remember the feel of it all. If I had those wings with me now I'd know how to use them... Weird thing is it seemed like the wings were from where my ears were supposed to be (Dumbo???), and they felt more like my arms. Hmmmm.
Argh my aching back, shoulders and neck. Maybe I flew a little too much that night. The aching was so bad yesterday I couldn't get out of bed for 2 hours. At least I could somewhat haul myself upright this morning.
Lots to rant about, no time. Got to save it till I have my computer...
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 03:10 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 10th, 2004 (Saturday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Pissed to no end.--
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.... pardon my French.
This is the freaking LAST time I'm coming down to use the public computer in the dead of night just because there's no queue to get in line. WHY? Because I just met some weirdo from Africa who came up to me saying "I LOVE YOU" in a nice voice, who also had the fucking nerve to invite me to his room to "get intimate".
*Goes off to destroy something*
No, it's not all them oddballs' fault. Please blame Sycia for being a magnet for them.
FUCK.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 04:55 a.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 8th, 2004 (Thursday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Duh--
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Note: If Sycia points a gun at you, NEVER, EVER start begging for mercy. She will get so sickened by such a pathetic excuse for a human being (ESPECIALLY if you start giving her that "I've got 2 kids to feed!" shit like it qualifies you to live, more than others), she will begin shooting such a pathetic worm from the feet just to watch you scream, cry and DIE.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 12:25 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 5th, 2004 (Monday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Thoughtful--
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Apparently the place I say is a high-class residential estate most Japanese would love to live in. Watched some show on it and celebrities long to have a house there even. Problem: everything there, even tofu is expensive. o.O.
Snapped lots of pictures of Kamakura on Saturday. Can't put em up for now. Finally had real Japanese food though jsut to note. About 3,675 yen, but I was satisfied. Sashimi, wonderful ice-cream-like tofu, 3 bowls of soba, soup, tempura, salad... XP~~~ Walked an awful lot and battled with the strong winds all the way to Enoshima. More pictures.
... that's it, I'm not going to America. Simply put I don't like to be put under watch like I'm a criminal even before I do anything.
Odd dreams of late. All fuzzy at the moment so it might not make sense to anyone; I myself can hardly piece them together sensibly anymore. Saturday's was me being a friend to some greater power (or god if you want to be precise), who didn't actually have a form of any particular kind (that or I don't remember). We went around a plane guarding... something (so sue me I can't remember what it is)... but that companion of mine, his/her/its soul was shattered in the end with me watching like I expected it (but I guess I was sad nonetheless). Sunday's was like a continuation of it. This time I was alone, still protecting that... something (still can't remember what it is). There had been a war, battle or something (though I've forgotten the details cleanly) in which what I was watching over got destroyed by some beings beyond the point of return. The most vivid part was probably me embracing what remained of that something, with one of the destroyers pointing a gun (??) at the back of my head. At that point I really didn't care enough to fear since what I deemed most important was already gone. Last thought? I kept looking at the ground and distantly wondering how my vision would be affected when the bullet would go through my head. As with all my other dreams where I die, no sense of fear felt: I have that kind of dream at least once a week. Not too healthy, as normal people would say... Anyway unlike the rest of those dreams where I usual continue dreaming as a ghost, I simply woke up from this one. Odd. Nothing was clear in that dream expect my executor was human. Whatcha make of this Sis?
| ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population. |
| INTJ - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population. |
As usual, Detachness ranked top followed by Calmness, Adventurousness and Aggressiveness.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 12:44 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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+ + April 1st, 2004 (Thursday) + +
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--Feeling?---|---Tired....--
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Hello again. It's been a hectic week.
Sunday was for packing. I was done pretty quick. Then came cleaning, till Mid-Monday. Monday was busy. About 10 people were moving out that day. I was the last, and since I didn't have that much to move, the dorm sensei load on a whole bicycle and another box (ついでにって). Moved at 5:30pm, got to the new dorm am hour later. Cheap mover who complained about everything and anything. Took 5 hours of so to unpack.
Tuesday: Had a very bad headache (blame Fuji Television pushing anime back to 3:40am gods) and an aching body. Went to get things done at the state office. let it be known; the dorm is about a 30 minute walk from the train stations. Why the state office building is another 30-minute walk away from a bus-stop (another 30 minutes from the train station) beats me. -_- I love walking, but this sucks. Joyce came with an email to my phone asking if she could crash over for the night. Shocked me a little there. Guest on my second night. o.o
Wednesday: Joyce had slept on the chair and did mention I'm scary in my sleep. Apparently I kept changing sleeping positions about 5 times in 45 minutes (weird positions too, like face IN pillow, using elbow/ arm as a pillow etc). Head down to my school, got pissed off at some bank transaction and felt like blowing up Japan for being a complete ass about 印鑑 and signatures. Let me rant it another time.
*Rushes off to settle damned bank transactions*
...I want that computer bad.
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~ ~ ~ Sycia soared the skies at 12:37 p.m. (GMT +9) - lj ~ ~ ~
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(integrated MPD), tormented in the soul & schizophrenic in the heart. Languages understood: English, Japanese, Chinese, Hokkien, Teochew & Malay.
