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Wednesday, August 27, 2003 This here is an archived page of around the first half of 2003. Wednesday, August 27, 2003 This here is an archived page of around the first half of 2003. Wednesday, August 27, 2003 This here is an archived page of around the first half of 2003. Monday, August 25, 2003 I sit here in New York and I don't believe one single solitary word of what the government says. Can you believe anything Bush says? Only if you're a rank sucker. Then you put that Rumsfeld on and he grimaces and tells you the first thing he thinks of, and here is Powell, who I thought would be our first black national candidate and he's as bad as the rest of them. Saturday, August 23, 2003 "Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up sometimes, but, bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking Rooster. You know what I'm saying?" David Sedaris, who's going to be at the State Theatre here in Kalamazoo, writes of his brother, The Rooster. And here, Rooster at the Hitchin' Post. After reading these heart-felt odes, take a look at The Rooster's hardwood flooring biz, his t-shirts and his Youcantkilltherooster.com. Sunday, August 17, 2003 Three Words: Belly Dancing Records Saturday, August 16, 2003 Basic Hip, site of unusual recodings and stuff. With a great page on Kenyon Hopkins, faux-beat-jazznic, horror record producer, sound track guy. Friday, August 15, 2003 Iraqis Offer Tips Over U.S. Blackout This is from ABC, not the Onion. Here's a couple: 5: CHECK FOR BITTER-ENDERS. "They should go to the power stations and see what the problem is," suggested Ahmed Abdul Hussein, 21. "Maybe there are followers of Saddam Hussein who are sabotaging their power stations. That's what happens here." 2: USE FOUL LANGUAGE. "When the power goes out, I curse everybody," said Emad Helawi, a 63-year-old accountant. "I curse God. I curse Saddam Hussein. And I curse the Americans." Wednesday, August 13, 2003 Fair and Balanced, Pt. 2: Whiny little sissy boy Bill is behind it all, too chicken to sue for libel, Al's book strangely jumps to #1 on Amazon... Wednesday, August 13, 2003 Hmmmm.... A detailed timeline of that day almost two years ago. Bush's own recollection of the first crash only complicates the picture. Less than two months after the attacks, Bush made the preposterous claim that he had watched the first attack as it happened on live television. This is the seventh different account of how Bush learned about the first crash (in his limousine, from Loewer, from Card, from Rove, from Gottesman, from Rice, from television). On December 4, 2001, Bush was asked: "How did you feel when you heard about the terrorist attack?" Bush replied, "I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower - the TV was obviously on. And I used to fly, myself, and I said, well, there's one terrible pilot. I said, it must have been a horrible accident. But I was whisked off there, I didn't have much time to think about it." [White House, 12/4/01] There was no film footage of the first attack until at least the following day, and Bush didn't have access to a television until 15 or so minutes later. [Washington Times, 10/7/02] Tuesday, August 12, 2003 I guess the rest are just to starstruck by Arnold, so here's the only story about candidate Larry Flynt's prayer vigil for the death of Bill O'Reilly. So, did it work? "We are not going to dignify it with a response," O'Reilly spokesman Robert Zimmerman told CNSNews.com. So we're not sure if O'Reilly is still alive or not. In other Fox News news, Fox contributes to the problem of our litigious society by filing a lawsuit against Al Franken's use of the phrase "fair and balanced." They argue that Fox has trademarked "Fair and Balanced" to describe its news coverage and that Mr. Franken's use of the phrase would "blur and tarnish" it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha etc. I think Franken's fault is that he chooses subjects who just kind of vomit up the comedy when provoked. The court papers refer to Mr. Franken, who is a former "Saturday Night Live" writer and performer, as a "parasite" who hopes to use Fox's reputation to confuse the public and boost sales of his book. Tuesday, August 12, 2003 It's going to take a long time to find all those WMDs if we keep locking away Iraqi scientists who don't tell us what we want to hear. Tuesday, August 12, 2003 Small town tells Ashcroft to shove it. Sunday, August 10, 2003 Washington Post prints detailed story on Bush's Nuclear Saddam bull. Or maybe it wasn't Bush. The unveiling of that message began a year ago this week. Cheney raised the alarm about Iraq's nuclear menace three times in August. He was far ahead of the president's public line. Only Bush and Cheney know, one senior policy official said, "whether Cheney was trying to push the president or they had decided to play good cop, bad cop." Friday, August 8, 2003 Wednesday, August 6, 2003 Live from Don Neal's, Kalamazoo, Mich., late '70s, 3 Peas in a Podd! Okay, maybe not exactly then, there, not live, but just go there and listen to the song. It is quite the banquet hall/lounge sound of a time gone by, on a record from Kalamazoo... Goin' out of my HEAAAAD, over YOOOUUU... PS - A search for Don Neal's turned up memories of old punk rock band Black Flag. Go down to the one by "Richard B." Hmm... I wonder who that could be? I was looking for the place on Vanished Kalamazoo, but it seems it's not on there. But it does give good context for the unique spirit of 3 Peas in a Podd. Wednesday, August 6, 2003 Here at SwaG!, we would like to throw our support whole-heartedly behind Larry Flynt as California's replacement governor. Just the looks on the faces of, well, everyone, would be worth it. We'd like to, but there's some feelings of a half-heartedly nature for others... And half a heartedly can keep us from being whole-heartedly in favor of... oh, where was I? Oh, yeah... Gary Coleman: ``We selected Gary because, well, everyone knows Gary,'' said Stephen Buel, editor of the East Bay Express, the Emeryville-based alternative weekly that is sponsoring Coleman's candidacy and paying his $3,500 filing fee. ``He's got a Clintonesque charisma. People light up when they hear Gary's name.'' And then there's Leo Gallagher, most well-known as Gallagher!, and lead singer for old punk band TSOL. And Brian Flemming, who has the best slogan ever: "If elected, I will resign." I know that asking for your vote is asking for you to support a radical action. Normally, I would say such a vote would be crazy. But we are in crazy times. There is a very real possibility that a Republican or worse could be our state's governor on October 8. It's the unimaginable -- "or worse" -- as told to us by the guy who wrote "Bat Boy, the Musical." Here at SwaG! we would like to whole-heartedly shout a "hurra!" for this plethora of colorful candidate choices, and we can't wait to vote. If anybody's going from Michigan to California in early October, let us know. Maybe we'll need a ride soon, and $3,500, and some signatures... hmmm... "BAT GUANO: He's not from California." Wednesday, August 6, 2003 Creepy, creepy, creepy... hear a RealAudio clip from the old Commies-invade-America film "Invasion USA," from the CONELRAD site linked below. A guy is reading the news of how our brave citizens on the street are fighting the invaders. Remind you of anything? Wednesday, August 6, 2003 58 years ago today we nuked Hiroshima, Japan. The Atomic Age began. Return back to those paranoid days of yesteryear, when our nation's enemies could destroy us at any moment... visit CONELRAD. Tuesday, August 5, 2003 --my favorite "Simpsons" quote. Disclaimer: swag.pitas.com does not link to porn, but we take no responsibility to what the sites we do link to link to. Friday, August 1, 2003 John lost his job. So he's spending his free time following Bush's economic team in a van festooned with facts about unemployment. People treat you funny when you are riding in a van festooned with facts about unemployment. They creep up slooowly, then quickly accelrate when they come to eye level … kind of like riding in a pimped-out hearse in a funeral train. It was clear that all my message meant to some people was: BEWARE: INSANE MAN INSIDE THIS VAN! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE! HE MIGHT CAUSE YOU DISCOMFORT AND YOU MAY TURN INTO A RABID COMMUNIST! STAY CLEAR!!! Nonetheless, it was fun (maybe I'm sadistically insane) and we all should feel very uncomfortable with the current regime - futures trading on terrorist attacks? Great googly-moogly! Thursday, July 31, 2003 Remember "Clintonian"? The handy phrase for when Bubba was trying to figure out what "is" is? And what's really "sex"? We need a new phrase for Bush. Maybe "Dubyanian"? It's a bit like Clintonian, but with much less flair. Mr. Bush's vague and sometimes nearly incoherent answers suggested that he was either bedazzled by his administration's own mythmaking or had decided that doubts about his foreign and domestic policies could best be parried by ignoring them. Mr. Bush will simply not engage the issue of whether his administration exaggerated the Iraqi threat in the months leading up to the American invasion. When asked whether the United States had lost credibility with the rest of the world since neither weapons of mass destruction nor a strong Al Qaeda connection had been uncovered in Iraq, the president veered off into a tour through American history and the difficulty of coming up with an Iraqi version of Thomas Jefferson. He then skidded to a halt with the announcement that "I'm confident history will prove the decision we made to be the right decision." Mr. Bush still hung onto his most well-worn buzzwords, however. Iraq was a "threat" — just as the tax cuts were "a job-creation program." The president and his advisers obviously still believe that the constant repetition of several simplistic points will hypnotize the American people into forgetting the original question.... Given the rambling non-answers the president gave to questions about Iraq and the economy, it was interesting to hear how focused he was when someone asked how, with no opponent, he planned to spend $170 million or more on the primary. "Just watch me," Mr. Bush said concisely. There is one area in which the president's thinking is crystal clear. Wednesday, July 30, 2003 And then we had the drum beat to war. I remember on our TV screens--I'm not suggesting which network did this, but it said: ``March to war,'' every day from last summer until the spring: ``March to war, march to war, march.'' That's not a very conducive environment for people to take risks when they hear ``march to war'' all the time. Our President, addressing questions from the press for the ninth time for his Administration, shifting his ass so the cameras don't catch sight of the big drumsticks in his back pocket, George W. Bush. "I will never assume the restraint and goodwill of dangerous enemies when lives of our citizens are at work," he added. Uhh... yeah, especially at work. CORRECTION: Not ninth. Eighth. The appearance before reporters marked the eighth time since taking office that Bush has fielded questions at a formal news conference, and the first time since American and British forces invaded Iraq last March. By comparison, Bill Clinton had held 33 formal news conferences at a comparable point in his administration; Bush's father, former President George H.W. Bush, had 61. Wednesday, July 30, 2003 Curve? In an "L"? There's not much of one. And did you know that a stack of $50 billion worth of $100 bills would be 50 kilometers high? That would take you out of the atmosphere! How tall is your stack of $100 bills? This is from a site I just found that seems to be on the side of class warfare or something equally communistic. Tuesday, July 29, 2003 Merle Haggard's been thinkin'... "It's another one of Merle Haggard's social commentaries," he said. "This time it's kind of opposed to the tone of 'The Fightin' Side of Me."' That 1970 song was a pro-America anthem at the height of the Vietnam War. The new song chides the media for focusing on celebrity news and the death of Laci Peterson and her unborn child while fighting continues in Iraq. Haggard sings, "Suddenly it's over, the war is finally done/Soldiers in the desert sand still clinging to a gun/No one is the winner and everyone must lose/Suddenly the war's over, that's the news." The song ends with the lines, "Politicians do all the talking, soldiers pay the dues/Suddenly the war is over, that's the news. Monday, July 28, 2003 This show is starting to suck. It's like when "Twin Peaks" was getting really screwy with the "Who Killed Laura Palmer" plot. Or like when "Lavern and Shirly" moved to California. Or when Fonzie jumped the shark. Many fans of classic television shows are familiar with the phenomenon of jumping the shark – which refers to the defining moment of decline for a television show. The reference is to the Happy Days episode when the show’s writers revealed that they were creatively exhausted by having Fonzie actually jump over a shark while water skiing. Looking back on this past season of The Bush Administration, I think it is clear that the show jumped the shark when its writers had Bush put on a flight suit and sit behind the controls of a fighter jet for a landing on an aircraft carrier to announce – prematurely – “Mission Accomplished.” It was at that point that the show’s writers revealed that were disposing of any pretense of keeping the characters consistent and believable. The writers had suddenly changed the character of Bush into a fighter pilot, conveniently ignoring the back story of Bush’s callow youth established in the pilot episode (no pun intended) of the show. Back in 2000 the pilot episode established that thanks to Bush’s family connections, he was able to get into the Texas Air National Guard – thus avoiding the Vietnam War – and then cavalierly did not bother to show up for required duty during his last year in the National Guard. When the writers of the Bush Administration so drastically rewrote the main character, it became obvious that they had given up on keeping the characters consistent and believable. Now, as a movie, this could be turned into a great dark comedy. Have the Coen Brothers direct, get William H. Macy to star as Bush... Sunday, July 27, 2003 In the voice of Dennis Miller: "Miller's undergone the most severely unfunny transformation since Johnny Hart left the bottle for Jesus. Snicker, snicker, snicker." Saturday, July 26, 2003 Saturday, July 26, 2003 Is the RIAA on your ass? Get help here. Are you wondering if the RIAA is about to be on your ass? Find out here. Thursday, July 24, 2003 So, I was telling Mrs. Martini-Guano about how, when I was on morphine after my gallbladder transplant, that the patterns on the hospital room wallpaper seemed to be moving ... Thursday, July 24, 2003 I was going to ignore all this crap, really, and try and enjoy the sunny summer. But I had to look at this, telling us that the 9/11 report that should be out today, and that Our President, George W. Bush, fought to keep from the public eye since the end of last year, shows that there was no al-Qaida-Iraq connection, and that Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11. Will this make it to the nightly news? Who knows. Wednesday, July 23, 2003 In this Washington Post story where we see the White House changing its story again, there's this: In fact, the officials acknowledged yesterday, the CIA warned the White House early on that the charge, based on an allegation that Iraq sought 500 tons of uranium in Niger, relied on weak evidence, was not particularly significant and assumed Iraq was pursuing an acquisition that was arguably not possible and of questionable value because Iraq had its own supplies. W-w-w-wait a minute. "Iraq had its own supplies"?!? Of "yellowcake" or uranium ore? Hmmm... Tuesday, July 22, 2003 Lebowski Fest: where The Dude abides. Tuesday, July 22, 2003 More and more people who supported the war are now pissed. Are you pissed? Want to know what to do about it? Go here. They're the best web-based organization to get people together and get their word out to the saints, swine, dinguses and airbags in congress. You don't have to be some stinky hippy to do so. No one will make you carry signs or large puppets in the street. Tuesday, July 22, 2003 US putting Saddam's Mukhabarat agents to work. Hey, who better to tell us what's shakin' in Iran, the next country on our list, than these freedom fighters? As Iraqi blogger Salam Pax put it: Sorry this is just wrong, Mukhabarat? You wouldn’t get your Mukhabarat ID if they didn’t know you were a sick fuck who would slit his mother’s throat to get up the party ladder. Or does Bremer’s “de-baathification plan” not include the secret service types? Monday, July 21, 2003 Good commanders encourage dissent and bad commanders surround themselves with yes-men. Any organization that relies on yes-men is bound to fail because nobody will point out folly. Ideologues, yes-men by nature, always fail because they are unable to recognize folly, let alone voice objection. The neo-conservative ideologues who planned this Operation Iraqi Freedom systematically excluded dissent, shouted down critics and accused questioners of treason. In the Army, this kind of organizational behavior is called a circle jerk. The planning of Operation Iraqi Freedom was a classic circle jerk.... Monday, July 21, 2003 I'll be damned in hell before I accept the notion that I and my ancestors who love to listen to the audio arts are in any sense guilty of anything that is illegal, wrong, evil, immoral or improper. Friday, July 18, 2003 Am I .... grandpa?Ā£ Friday, July 18, 2003 The White House is outing the openly gay, Canadian reporter who did stories on falling troop morale in Iraq as a homosexual foreigner! Wednesday, July 16, 2003 Swag is the glossy new magazine about cool stuff for cool people. Swag is all about everything the successful rock stars, styling club kids, and all around artists and cool individuals want and need. Swag is about the rewards you deserve. Swag is about the rewards you will get. Swag is the style guide for the wild life. You know that SwaG! is not about trying to be cool, and it's not about blowing smoke up our listeners' asses. If you listen to SwaG!, you know that you aren't cool, you don't know shit about the latest rock stars, and your wild life involves listening to old Three Suns' records while smoking cheap cigars. When you think "club kids," you wonder, what, like 4-H? Oh, sweet, S&M goth is still in style. I can still strap on the pleather and ball-gag, go out to the club and mosh to Manson Korn spun by Taime Downe of hair metal band Faster Pussycat. Our lawyers are looking into this abuse of our brand. SwaG!, the cultural black hole of radio programming, will be on tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern on WIDR. Wednesday, July 16, 2003 Wednesday, July 16, 2003 The best movie theme song ever. Tuesday, July 15, 2003 Our President, George W. Bush, Opens Mouth, Spews Shit, Contradicts All Efforts of Damage Control I see the headlines, President Defends Allegation On Iraq, the intelligence he gets is "darn good," blah blah blah. It's the usual weak defence, but when you read the story you see that the details are much worse. Bush said the CIA's doubts about the charge -- that Iraq sought to buy "yellowcake" uranium ore in Africa -- were "subsequent" to the Jan. 28 State of the Union speech in which Bush made the allegation. Defending the broader decision to go to war with Iraq, the president said the decision was made after he gave Saddam Hussein "a chance to allow the inspectors in, and he wouldn't let them in." Bush's position was at odds with those of his own aides, who acknowledged over the weekend that the CIA raised doubts that Iraq sought to buy uranium from Niger more than four months before Bush's speech. The president's assertion that the war began because Iraq did not admit inspectors appeared to contradict the events leading up to war this spring: Hussein had, in fact, admitted the inspectors and Bush had opposed extending their work because he did not believe them effective. Now, after normal, intellectually sound and naturally curious people have had a chance to ponder the phrase, "historical revisionism," we've got to wonder about Our President's honesty and/or his brains. He is either lying, or he is really stupid. "And/or," I mean. The TPM guy puts it this way: And with each passing day it seems his public statements show not so much a pattern of lies as evidence that when he's not doing press availabilities he's living on some other planet. Misstatements are becoming so par for the course that his public pronouncements now seem more and more like a verbal equivalent of what the immortal David St. Hubbins once called a "a free-form jazz exploration" in which the individual words aren't supposed to distract us from the larger truth the president is trying to convey. Please note the Spinal Tap reference. Now think of Bush with shaggy hair looking a little like this. Drugs? They can keep giving users and abusers problems for years. Saturday, July 12, 2003 ...hmmm. And is it possible that Our President, George W. Bush, can't fire Tenet because Tenet knows too much? Link goes to a bit on how Dean is a badass with a knife, but that is an interesting question. Why isn't Bush canning Tenet? Saturday, July 12, 2003 The latest chapter in an absurdist novel, but surely not the final one. The maximalists pushed like crazy to get this Niger-uranium charge and other dubious charges into the president's speech and into the argument for war generally. Now, we hear that it's the CIA's fault for not having insisted strenuously enough that the White House not retail bogus information to the American people. Like I said, the absurdist novel. Friday, July 11, 2003 Thanks to The Doctor of the WIDR radio program "Rock and/or Roll" for loaning me his CD of Andre Williams oldies. Williams was a naughty young man, now he's a dirty old man. I Googled and found this recent interview: Now I heard a story that originally the session was only for a single, but you got trapped in the studio by a storm, and just kept on recording. ANDRE: We got trapped by a major storm! There wasn't nuthin' else to do, so we went in and did the CD in two days. We was locked in. You couldn't go nowhere - the snow was up to our eyes. No sense in just sittin' down pulling your pud. Excuse me? Pulling your what? ANDRE: Your pud. Pudge? ANDRE: Pud! You know what a pud is? Please explain the pud. ANDRE: A pud is something you use everyday for different things. Like a telephone? ANDRE: Only you don't put it in your ear. Maybe we better leave that one alone. ANDRE: I think so. The kids these days, man, they need an education! Wednesday, July 9, 2003 In our country, we call it a 'free speech zone.' Tuesday, July 8, 2003 Time to save radio, again. Go here, follow the directions. Today. Like, now. The FCC can be stopped. Tuesday, July 8, 2003 ARI FLEISCHER ADMITS IN PLAIN ENGLISH BUSH WAS WRONG, BLOWS FUCKING MINDS WOLDR-WIDE, WIGGLE ROOM NEARLY DEPLEATED Well, it took some time. Some weaselization had to be done as the lead-up. But, after over five months, when Our President, George W. Bush spoke during the State of the Union speech of Iraq buying urainium from Africa (something that had been debunked by the CIA in early 2002) as one of the signs that Saddam was about to kill us all, Fleischer "clarified the issue." Asked about the accuracy of the president's statement this morning, Mr. Fleischer said, "We see nothing that would dissuade us from the president's broader statement." But when pressed, he said he would clarify the issue later today. Tonight, after Air Force One had departed, White House officials issued a statement in Mr. Fleischer's name that made clear that they no longer stood behind Mr. Bush's statement. How Mr. Bush's statement made it into last January's State of the Union address is still unclear. No one involved in drafting the speech will say who put the phrase in, or whether it was drawn from the classified intelligence estimate. That document contained a footnote — in a separate section of the report, on another subject — noting that State Department experts were doubtful of the claims that Mr. Hussein had sought uranium. Anyway, today's excuse is that Bush just didn't know that his major bit of scary evidence, which he included in his most important yearly speech, and used to justify a "preemptive" war that was to begin in less than two months, was bunk. And there's other evidence, which they still can't quite show us yet -- Saddam's still alive, you know. We don't want him to know we know all his secret secrets. Wednesday, July 2, 2003 This Fourth, remember to fly the Flag and be proud! The above link goes to a site that might be a joke. But the scary thing is, it might not be. Tuesday, July 1, 2003 People are starting to think, "Hmm... about that war, Wha' happen? Q: Would it matter to you if Bush did mislead the public on Iraqi weapons?
Great Deal: 53% P.S. The "Wha' happen?" is the catchphrase from an old sitcom starring Fred Willard's character in "A Mighty Wind." I feel that I must use it at least once a week. Monday, June 30, 2003 "You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order." --President George W. Bush Friday, June 27, 2003 Farkers react with shock and loathing to the new "Ren and Stimpy." Scroll down to posts after 10 p.m. Eastern. "No sir, I didn't like it!" I didn't sit through to the end, but those who did seem to be reacting to something really, really disgusting. See, think of the "Rubber Nipple Salesmen" episode, where there were a lot of naughty and kinky things hinted at. That's funny. Outright eating snot, kissing rat asses, etc. isn't. Especially when that's all there is. And it's funnier when you just kind of suspected that Ren and Stimpy had an unusual love/hate gay relationship. Maybe next week it'll be better. Ƹ Thursday, June 26, 2003 More proof that there's just somethng not right about Bush. At 9:03 AM on 11 September 2001, the second airplane hit the South Tower of the World Trade Center. President Bush was in Florida, at the Emma T. Booker Elementary School, listening to children read. Chief of Staff Andrew Card came over and whispered in Bush's ear, "A second plane hit the second tower. America is under attack." What did the Commander in Chief do? Nothing. He sat there. He sat for well over 5 minutes, doing nothing while 3,000 people were dying and the attacks were still in progress. Go look at he photos and the video that show him sitting for five minutes. (Before, the only shot of him at that time was edited down to two minutes.) I've read somewhere where somebody thinks he's got symptoms of a type of psychotic behavior, where he just doesn't seem to emotionally react to things that would cause most people to jump up and do something. I thought, well this is just a little too much as far as critical looks at Our President. But I don't know now. I haven't looked at the video yet, but in the photos he looks puzzled, then he looks placid, and then he goes back to reading a kids' book. Eventually one of his staff comes and gets him. That's the end of the tape, but he still didn't leave. Bush is described as smiling and chatting with the children "as if he didn't have a care in the world" and "in the most relaxed manner imaginable." I don't know... I remember yelling at the TV at the time, then panicing, wondering if I should head out of the city. But I'm not the president. Thursday, June 26, 2003 On a related note: I Want to Take You To A Gay Bar! Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Our new phrase for the day: "Cognitive Dissonance" It's why the Vietnam War went on so long. We were saving the Vietnamese from Communism. We were going to bring them democracy. We were protecting ourselves from the Communist Threat. President Johnson couldn't have lied to get us into a war. We must achive peace with honor. We couldn't have all the sacrifice be in vain. Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Somebody told me that they wanted more SwaG! products to buy. So here's the stuff. I shoved the Cafepress to the back of my head. But we'll see about making more products. All SwaG! products feature 0% markup, so they're as cheap as can be. I only do it to get the SwaG! brand in people's faces. Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Monday, June 23, 2003 The other lie we were fed before the war: The Iraqis would welcome us as their liberators, and make rebuilding Iraq as a democratic nation easy. Maybe it wasn't a lie when it came from Bush. There was no plan, they really did think there'd be dancing in the streets and instant peace when Saddam was offed. But there's no peace, no stability, no democracy. It's summed up like so: In a June forum on Iraq at the American Enterprise Institute, Kenneth Katzman, the Middle East specialist at the Congressional Research Service, made a chilling prediction of how the crisis in Iraq will continue to unfold, to the discomfort of his AEI hosts. The Shiite forces in southern Iraq, he said, are content for now to let the Sunni-led guerrillas harass and weaken US troops. "The Shiites hope that Sunni violence in central Iraq will force the United States out, and then the Shiites will move in and pick up the pieces," he said. Despite discord and infighting among the Shiites, Katzman said, most of the Shiite leadership is tied closely to the Iranian government and its ultraconservative clergy. For the rest of this year, he predicted, the US forces in Iraq will be unable to pacify the country or halt the violence, and by next year, as the election nears, there will be enormous political pressure for the United States to withdraw--or, in Washington-speak, to develop an "exit strategy." The question for Bush, according to Katzman, is, Does the United States have the political staying power to continue to sustain one or two casualties a day in October 2004? That's a question that ought to disturb Karl Rove's sleep. And it might be a question that Democratic would-be opponents of the President ought to ponder. A massive failure of US intelligence has led to an emerging disaster in postwar Iraq. It's a true crisis, and one that could determine the fate of Bush's presidency. In Watergate, the refrain was: "What did the President know, and when did he know it?" Let me suggest a question for Bush, the know-nothing GOP standard-bearer in 2004: "What didn't the President know, and when didn't he know it?" Monday, June 23, 2003 SwaG! PSA #1293-dk-52: Meth and Your Veins Sunday, June 22, 2003 Bill O'Reilly's such a bitch! Sunday, June 22, 2003 New York Times asks, "Bush May Have Exaggerated, but Did He Lie? There is no evidence the president did not believe what he was saying. That's like saying there was no evidence that President Clinton did not believe that a blowjob wasn't sex. Saturday, June 21, 2003 Coming to your town July 4: Operation Tribute to Freedom Friday, June 20, 2003 What happened in New York City at 7:37 p.m. last Tuesday -- A mob shows up at Macy's out of nowhere looking for a "love rug." Friday, June 20, 2003 And why can't we have all our news coming from Rupert Murdoch? Friday, June 20, 2003 We won a battle, now we just have to win the war. The Senate Commerce Committee voted to reverse much of the FCC's June 2 ruling to give our media to Rupert Murdoch. It looks like the rest of the Senate will go along, but the House, being full of those who care deeply about the rights of their highest contributors, look like they're going to halt everything and let the FCC do as it will. Friday, June 20, 2003 Well, you know, Iraq is a big country. The size of California. That's a lot of land to search. It's gonna take time. But it's funny how well we were able to see all those WMDs before the war. Thursday, June 19, 2003 I suspect I would be among the 200 people who would like the most unwanted song. Thursday, June 19, 2003 Jeez, I did write that... What was I thinking? What was Orrin Hatch thinking? What is Hatch thinking now? During a discussion on methods to frustrate computer users who illegally exchange music and movie files over the Internet, Hatch asked technology executives about ways to damage computers involved in such file trading. Legal experts have said any such attack would violate federal anti-hacking laws. ''No one is interested in destroying anyone's computer,'' replied Randy Saaf of MediaDefender Inc., a secretive Los Angeles company that builds technology to disrupt music downloads. One technique deliberately downloads pirated material very slowly so other users can't. ''I'm interested,'' Hatch interrupted. He said damaging someone's computer ''may be the only way you can teach somebody about copyrights.'' Tuesday, June 17, 2003 If you are in, or will be in, New York City tonight from 7:00 p.m. to 7:37 p.m., read this and follow the instructions -- unless you're a "squealer." Tuesday, June 17, 2003 Our President, George W. Bush: "This nation acted [on] a threat from the dictator of Iraq," he said. "Now there are some who would like to rewrite history – revisionist historians is what I like to call them." Usually, those who claim that Hitler's holocaust never happened are called "revisionists." Our President, George W. Bush, is now using that term for those, I assume, who dare to claim for historical record that before the War To Liberate Iraq the Bush administration said there were piles and piles of chemical, biological and nuclear weapons that Saddam could send our way. I don't remember him saying anything like that. Do you? Monday, June 16, 2003 SwaG! is the Frankenstein Earphone Radio Device, a tool of the Gangster Computer God Worldwide Secret Containment Policy! How do I know? It's obvious from reading the words of Francis E. Dec, Esquire. Dec was racist, anti-Semetic, anti-Communist and paranoid. But his rants took to flights of fancy that no right-winger could top. The rants were recorded by "Doc on the ROQ," and someone put a CD of the recordings with little information in my box at WIDR. I'd like to play them over the air, but some of Dec's word usage is a little, you know, problematic. Who was this man? Why would anyone be so cruel as to show up at his deathbed dressed in black suits to question him about the Frankenstein Radio? Monday, June 16, 2003 The MC5 looks back and sells Levis. Monday, June 16, 2003 That sneaky sombitch Saddam must've shipped the WMD's to Syria before our secret weapons search teams began looking! Monday, June 16, 2003 She said what he wouldn't: "It's a very closed, small, controlled group. This is an administration that determines what it thinks and then sets about to prove it. There's almost a religious kind of certainty. There's no curiosity about opposing points of view. It's very scary. There's kind of a ghost agenda." Friday, June 13, 2003 Can you broadcast your own FM station with out being hauled in by the FCC? These guys think there's a way. Friday, June 13, 2003 You know about the Segway, the futuristic two-wheeled scooter. It's ultra-safe, with gyros and stuff that will keep anyone from falling from it. Anyone except for this guy, that is. Thursday, June 12, 2003 Fiction and reality in the "Siberia with family restaurants" of "Fargo." Did a woman come all the way from Japan to look for the million dollars she saw buried in the snow in the movie, only to freeze to death? Tuesday, June 10, 2003 Does it seem like the country is rallied around the idea of supporting our troops, but everyone is ignoring the troops that are being killed in Iraq just about every day? It's not like the Pentagon is covering up deaths. The Department of Defense announced today that Pvt. Jesse M. Halling, 19, of Indianapolis, Ind., was killed on June 7, 2003, in Tikrit, Iraq. Halling was at a military police station when his section received rocket propelled grenade and small arms fire. The soldier received a fatal gunshot wound. Halling was assigned to 401st Military Police Company, Fort Hood, Texas. Just the few details -- 19-year-old Midwest kid, shot dead -- makes this real. Makes you think, is it worth it? There's 29 DOD news releases like this from May to now, some identfying plural "casualties." Why are the superpatriots of cable TV and radio not honoring the dead? Tuesday, June 10, 2003 Thomas Edison, first head of the recording industry, made the same mistakes the industry makes today. Tuesday, June 10, 2003 You are here. Saturday, June 7, 2003 Is lying about a reason for war an impeachable offense? ...hmmmm... Blowjob? War? Tacky extramarital sex with an underling? Over 200 dead on our side, thousands dead on theirs, a country to rebuild? There are two main possibilities. One, that something is seriously wrong within the Bush White House's national security operations. That seems difficult to believe. The other is that the president has deliberately misled the nation, and the world. Wednesday, June 4, 2003 Time to stick a boot in the ass of country, and country radio. After a strong 2002, country-record sales have fallen to alarmingly low levels. For the week ending May 18, the top 75 new country albums sold a total of 390,000 units, which is fewer than the top two pop albums sold together. But I thought America just loved the new patriotism. Wednesday, June 4, 2003 Oh, fuck. I better start building my underground humidor now, and start stockpiling cigars. Surgeon General Richard H. Carmona said yesterday that he supports the banning of tobacco products -- the first time that the government's top doctor and public health advocate has made such a strong statement about the historically contentious subject. Wednesday, June 4, 2003 A +1 compelling thread on the WMDs that aren't there on Plastic. Wednesday, May 28, 2003 Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players Wednesday, May 28, 2003 Meet Sympathy for the Record Industry. Tuesday, May 27, 2003 AUSTIN -- Texas state police officials on Monday blamed a faulty duplication machine for a five-hour gap in a Capitol security tape that was given to a House committee investigating how authorities handled the Democratic walkout.... As part of the probe, Bailey had asked DPS to turn over Capitol security tapes for the hallway outside of House Speaker Tom Craddick's office. A DPS command post was set up May 12 in Craddick's reception room, and Bailey said he wants to know who went in and out of that room. Bailey said the DPS provided his staff with copies of the security tapes late Friday. As the staff watched them over the weekend, the entire week was available except for the afternoon of May 12. He said the tape stopped at 12:47 p.m. and did not begin again until 6 p.m. "It's odd that it was the day and time that we wanted," Bailey said. "It's fine all week, except for that one period." Sunday, May 25, 2003 You must to be clicking here, because we want you to enjoy the clothes of the cat of CAT PRIN as follows by the reason for calling it ... Saturday, May 24, 2003 Payola's not just for radio. FCC commissioners and staff recive around $2.8 million in gifts from broadcast, cable and other media conglomerates. Saturday, May 24, 2003 Saturday, May 24, 2003 "The US is like a baby with a bomb," he barks, his eyes blazing with the famous stare. "The reaction to France that the administration allowed to happen is so immature. These people have their own opinion - they're French! They're not fuckin' Americans, they're French ! Vive la difference, hello? And this big deal about Bush landing on an aircraft carrier? Talk about a six-year-old kid with a Tonka toy - we got it here." ..."It's not what we thought we were gonna be doing, a lot of the people's civil rights have been compromised, and we don't know what's going on. If I keep speaking my mind, will I be deported? I'm not very happy with the state of things. Music is being banned, and we have people in control of the radio stations who are the same people in control of the concert halls. They're also tied into the [US] administration and are sponsoring pro-war rallies. It's not good. It's interesting ." ... "It's a robust time, probably the most fertile time for the underground and for revolution since Nixon. I'm not talking about political overthrow; I'm talking about just general cultural revolution. Bush has polarised the country and is creating this breeding ground for an opposition. In the next couple of months, they'll probably make it unpatriotic to be Democrat. It's pretty crazy." Friday, May 23, 2003 Bill O'Reilly is a big fat liar. Did this man keep his word? The Answer is NO , he did not keep his word, he did not apologize to the nation. On April 22 Bill said "if weapons of mass destruction aren't found,... I will have to apologize because I bought into it... All right, a month from today, we'll do this story again" ** On March 18 Bill said "if the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush Administration again" Bill O'Reilly is also a sucker, along with a lot of other people. Even I thought Saddam would have some chem warheads here and there. We're all suckers, sucker. Wednesday, May 21, 2003 What if your life were indexed like Google, and someone could type in, say, "hidden drug use"+"anti-government sympathies" and find something you thought was well-hidden. You know, private. What if the Pentagon could do this? Meet LifeLog. A lot of the LifeLog details sounds crazy and impractical. But the fact that this is a serious study done by the Pentagon should cause anyone to get a little paranoid. Monday, May 19, 2003 I should've done this a long time ago... SwaG! Movies: In no particular order. First, from a site of informal movie reviews by a guy who writes, "Plus, the Marxes were responsible for inspiring the folks who made Brain Doners, one of my all time favorites." Now, from Rotten Tomatoes: And from here and there: Monday, May 19, 2003 Oh, how I do love the scopitones. Now it's Joi Lansing's "Web of Love," but they change weekly and there's no archive I can link to, so you might not end up trapped in the web of love, and you might not see Miss Lansing do her hoochie coo and get boiled in a pot by a scrawny leering cannibal... Oh well. I'm sure the next scopitone will be just as swell. Sunday, May 18, 2003 Friday, May 16, 2003 I was going to rant about the Texas state Dem.s protest on redistricting that would eventually drive Dem.s from Texas anyway and DeLay's obvious use of the Dept. of Homeland Security to search for them on the vary same day terrorists are killing Americans in Saudi and the insane bugfuck "YEEHAW!!! LET'S GET THEM VARMITS, BOYS!" nature of it all that's not at all good for democracy, freedom, and even the "United We Stand"edness that's been preached to us for a couple years. But it's just a little too much for me right now. It's all covered well here. Tuesday, May 13, 2003 But how's that war going? What war? We won that, didn't we? Tuesday, May 13, 2003 From here: In the United States, Mr. Murdoch's media empire — which includes Fox News and The New York Post — is known for its flag-waving patriotism. But all that patriotism didn't stop him from, as a Fortune article put it, "pandering to China's repressive regime to get his programming into that vast market." The pandering included dropping the BBC's World Service — which reports news China's government doesn't want disseminated — from his satellite programming, and having his publishing company cancel the publication of a book critical of the Chinese regime. Can something like that happen in this country? Of course it can. Through its policy decisions — especially, though not only, decisions involving media regulation — the U.S. government can reward media companies that please it, punish those that don't. This gives private networks an incentive to curry favor with those in power. Yet because the networks aren't government-owned, they aren't subject to the kind of scrutiny faced by the BBC, which must take care not to seem like a tool of the ruling party. So we shouldn't be surprised if America's "independent" television is far more deferential to those in power than the state-run systems in Britain or — for another example — Israel. A recent report by Stephen Labaton of The Times contained a nice illustration of the U.S. government's ability to reward media companies that do what it wants. The issue was a proposal by Michael Powell, chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, to relax regulations on media ownership. The proposal, formally presented yesterday, may be summarized as a plan to let the bigger fish eat more of the smaller fish. Big media companies will be allowed to have a larger share of the national market and own more TV stations in any given local market, and many restrictions on "cross-ownership" — owning radio stations, TV stations and newspapers in the same local market — will be lifted. The plan's defects aside — it will further reduce the diversity of news available to most people — what struck me was the horse-trading involved. One media group wrote to Mr. Powell, dropping its opposition to part of his plan "in return for favorable commission action" on another matter. That was indiscreet, but you'd have to be very naļve not to imagine that there are a lot of implicit quid pro quos out there. And the implicit trading surely extends to news content. Imagine a TV news executive considering whether to run a major story that might damage the Bush administration — say, a follow-up on Senator Bob Graham's charge that a Congressional report on Sept. 11 has been kept classified because it would raise embarrassing questions about the administration's performance. Surely it would occur to that executive that the administration could punish any network running that story. Meanwhile, both the formal rules and the codes of ethics that formerly prevented blatant partisanship are gone or ignored. Neil Cavuto of Fox News is an anchor, not a commentator. Yet after Baghdad's fall he told "those who opposed the liberation of Iraq" — a large minority — that "you were sickening then; you are sickening now." Fair and balanced. We don't have censorship in this country; it's still possible to find different points of view. But we do have a system in which the major media companies have strong incentives to present the news in a way that pleases the party in power, and no incentive not to. Now, go down and click on the link below that reads "stop the FCC." Thank you. Monday, May 12, 2003 Just do it. On June 2, the Federal Communications Commission is planning on authorizing sweeping changes to the American news media. The rules change could allow your local TV stations, newspaper, radio stations, and cable provider to all be owned by one company. NBC, ABC, CBS and Fox could have the same corporate parent. The resulting concentration of ownership could be deeply destructive to our democracy. Congress is supposed to guard against monopoly power. But the upcoming rule change could change the landscape for all media and usher in an era in which a few corporations control your access to news and entertainment. Please join me in asking Congress and the FCC to support a diverse, competitive media landscape by going to: You can also automatically have your comments publicly filed at the FCC. When the folks at MoveOn.org talk to Congresspeople about this issue, the response is usually the same: "We only hear from media lobbyists on this. It seems like my constituents aren't very concerned with this issue." A few thousand emails could permanently change that perception. Please join this critical campaign, and let Congress know you care. Thanks. Monday, May 12, 2003 A public service announcement brought to you by SwaG!. Because SwaG! cares. We care so hard it hurts. Monday, May 12, 2003 Friday, May 9, 2003 You'd think we'd be getting the nasty scoop every night on the news about Chinese Communist Republican Double Agent Sex. Tuesday, May 6, 2003 Fun site alert: The MemoryBlog. Fun and dry stuff every day, from strange changes in news stories to the rumored videotape of Barbara Bush at a "naked party." No. Not that Barbara Bush. Sorry. Tuesday, May 6, 2003 Tuesday, May 6, 2003 There's a lot of room between "kill" and "kick". Monday, May 5, 2003 I was just reminded of Joe Frank. Go see Joe Frank and listen to his stuff. Monday, May 5, 2003 "I was not prepared to shoot my eardrum out with a shotgun in order to get a deferment. Not was I willing to go to Canada. So I chose to better myself by learning how to fly airplanes." Our President, George W. Bush, is one brave motherfucker. How dare people call his big boat adventure of last week a "stunt." Was this, then, just a campaign stunt? Nah, Bush and Karl Rove wouldn't waste taxpayer money and exploit a war that claimed the lives of 128 Americans--and thousands of Iraqis--for crass political advantage. And Bush really did serve honorably in the Guard. Sunday, May 4, 2003 The very virtuous, and very high-rolling, William Bennett. Bennett has raked up more than $8 million in gambling losses. To be honest, in November of 2001 I lost around $30 at the nickle slots of Michigan City's Blue Chip Casino. But I did realize that was a dumb way to throw away money. We should just admit that we're all sinners. Wednesday, April 30, 2003 The eBay feedback comments of andy46477. Wednesday, April 30, 2003 Yay! Thursday the war will be over. It was all so quick and easy. Just like Afghanistan. Wednesday, April 30, 2003 The Lee Greenwood's of the Pashtun world. Tuesday, April 29, 2003 About the "Ghost and Mr. Chicken" theme... A pipe organ enthusiast defends the image of the organ. Tuesday, April 29, 2003 It wasn't a "lie," it was a matter of emphasis. Iraq was filled with deadly, deadly chemical, nuclear and biological hoohaa. It's just hiding somewhere. And didn't they find a drum of whatever a few days ago? One wonders whether most of the public will ever learn that the original case for war has turned out to be false. In fact, my guess is that most Americans believe that we have found W.M.D.'s. Each potential find gets blaring coverage on TV; how many people catch the later announcement Ń if it is ever announced Ń that it was a false alarm? It's a pattern of misinformation that recapitulates the way the war was sold in the first place. Each administration charge against Iraq received prominent coverage; the subsequent debunking did not. Tuesday, April 29, 2003 Did they lie to us? And if so, so what? But that is background noise to the issue I care most about: the need to hold elected officials accountable for what they say and do. It's not a Democratic or Republican or liberal or conservative proposition. If we could hold Bill Clinton accountable for fooling around with an intern and lying about it -- and we did, even if the Senate wimped out at the end -- surely we can hold President Bush accountable for his rationale for taking the country to war. Tuesday, April 29, 2003 When I asked to speak to a lawyer, the INS official informed me that I do have the right to a lawyer but I would have to be brought down to the station and await security clearance before being granted one. When I asked how long that would take, he replied with a coy smile: "Maybe a day, maybe a week, maybe a month." We insisted that we had every right to leave and were going to do so. One of the policemen walked over with his hand on his gun and taunted: "Go ahead and leave, just go ahead. Monday, April 28, 2003 In case you missed it, here's a rundown of Diane Sawyer's Stalinist showtrial of the Dixie Chicks. Saturday, April 26, 2003 Oh, that's so un-American. I'm ashamed of myself for linking to it, really. Wednesday, April 23, 2003 Again, tonight on SwaG!, we'll be playing more cuts from 365 Days. We are continuing our progress into developing absurdist radio for Kalamazoo's 16 - 18 yo demo... Wednesday, April 23, 2003 But I'm happy with the size of my penis, honest. Wednesday, April 23, 2003 Thought crimminal suggests that the color coded terror alerts are just a handy way to manipulate public opinion. Wednesday, April 23, 2003 Born in the USA? How about Born in IRAQ! From here: ....Springsteen featured a roaring version of Edwin Starr's anti-war hit, "War (What Is It Good For?)," during March shows in the U.S. and Australia; at a Melbourne show during the first days of the war, he told the crowd between performances of the songs "My City of Ruins" and "Land Of Hope and Dreams" that: "We pray for the safety of our sons and daughters, innocent sons and daughters and innocent Iraqi civilians." Now, the man whose song "Born in the USA" remains an anthem for patriots of many stripes--including those who see dissent as the truest expression of Americanism--has let rip with a powerful defense of the Dixie Chicks and artistic free speech..." How dare Bruce savagely attack our war effort! Why haven't Good Americans come out against him as they have other Saddam-lovers? "The pressure coming from the government and big business to enforce conformity of thought concerning the war and politics goes against everything that this country is about--namely freedom. Right now, we are supposedly fighting to create freedom in Iraq, at the same time that some are trying to intimidate and punish people for using that same freedom here at home," added Springtseen.... Call your local classic rock station, tell them you won't stand to hear his "American blue collar" rock! And be sure to let talk radio stations know they can spend hours on this strawman with a soundtrack. Bring him to his knees, just like we did to those Dixie Chicks! I know I'm doing my part. Every day I vigorously do not buy Chicks CDs or tickets to their concerts! Of the 59 shows on the upcoming Dixie Chicks tour of major arenas, 53 have already sold out and the remainder are on the verge of being fully booked. Oh shoot. Tuesday, April 22, 2003 The Nimble Dance of Rumsfeld Among the Facts and the Secrets Tuesday, April 22, 2003 Tuesday, April 22, 2003 Here's more on the cult that appears to be enslaving our congressmen. Six members of Congress live in a $1.1 million Capitol Hill town house that is subsidized by a secretive religious organization, tax records show. Their rent is a sweet $600 a month. Monday, April 21, 2003 In case you need one, here's another reason to be a bit uncomfortable and cranky under the rule of Our President, George W. Bush: The Bush administration is siding with the recording industry in its court fight to force Internet providers to disclose the identities of people who are illegally trading songs over the Web. A Justice Department brief, filed Friday in U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, supports the effort by the Recording Industry Association of America to force Verizon Communications to identify a subscriber suspected of offering more than 600 songs from well-known artists. Monday, April 21, 2003 This would just be another creepy cult-like Christian group, except for the fact that there's all those US senators, congressmen and presidents involved. And a lot of money. The morning I attended, Charlene, the cook, scrambled up eggs with blue tortillas, Italian sausage, red pepper, and papaya. Three women from Potomac Point, an "Ivanwald for girls" across the road from The Cedars, came to help serve. They wore red lipstick and long skirts (makeup and "feminine" attire were required) and had, after several months of cleaning and serving in The Cedars while the brothers worked outside, become quite unimpressed by the high-powered clientele. "Girls don't sit in on the breakfasts," one of them told me, though she said that none of them minded because it was "just politics.".... ...."People separate it out," he warned Tiahrt. "'Oh, okay, I got religion, that's private.' As if Jesus doesn't know anything about building highways, or Social Security. We gotta take Jesus out of the religious wrapping." "All right, how do we do that?" Tiahrt asked. "A covenant," Doug answered. The congressman half-smiled, as if caught between confessing his ignorance and pretending he knew what Doug was talking about. "Like the Mafia," Doug clarified. "Look at the strength of their bonds." He made a fist and held it before Tiahrt's face. Tiahrt nodded, squinting. "See, for them it's honor," Doug said. "For us, it's Jesus." Monday, April 21, 2003 Ahhhh.... Mullets Galore has still got it. I went there, inspired by this "MULLET HAIKU" that came in the email. It captures the hopeful purfume of love's promise.
Ass cheeks squishing out Thursday, April 17, 2003 ....He left. My wife called me an idiot. True enough. Then again, he was an even bigger idiot. But the real lesson was pretty obvious then, and even more obvious now. Everyone in America, including me, has been driven completely insane by this war. Thursday, April 17, 2003 Am I going to see royalties from this? Thursday, April 17, 2003 If you see me staring off into nothingness, and I'm smiling , it's because this is what's going on in my head. Thursday, April 17, 2003 CNN'S KYRA PHILLIPS: Doctor, does he understand why this war took place? Has he talked about Operation Iraqi Freedom and the meaning? Does he understand it? DOCTOR: Actually, the little Iraqi boy, he just wonders why he got his damn arms blown off. No, that's not in the CNN transcript. It's just something that popped into my head when I read that. I've got to stop looking at Atrios this late at night. Monday, April 14, 2003 What happens when a journalist asks the obvious question. Monday, April 14, 2003 Sunday, April 13, 2003 Even Republicans (or, at least, Arlen Specter) don't like this sonofafuck. His name is James Leon Holmes, and Our President would like him to be a federal judge. An editorial in The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette called him a "superbly qualified nominee" and an "outstanding lawyer, working scholar and eminent spirit among us." ....Dr. Holmes and his wife, Susan, wrote for a newspaper, Arkansas Catholic, about men, women and Roman Catholicism. The article said that "the wife is to subordinate herself to her husband" and that "the woman is to place herself under the authority of the man" in the same way that "the church is to place herself under the protection of Christ." The same article went on to say, "It is not a coincidence that the feminist movement brought with it artificial contraception and abortion on demand, with recognition of homosexual liaisons soon to follow." ...."Concern for rape victims is a red herring because conceptions from rape occur with approximately the same frequency as snowfall in Miami," he wrote in a letter to the editor of a newspaper .... .... "The pro-abortionists counsel us to respond to these problems by abandoning what little morality our society still recognizes," he wrote. "This was attempted by one highly sophisticated, historically Christian nation in our century — Nazi Germany.".... That was all long ago, said back when he was president of Arkansas Right to Life, and he really, really, really would be fair and unbiased as a federal judge now. Honest. Friday, April 11, 2003 Thursday, April 10, 2003 From this story, Kenneth "Cakewalk" Adelman speaks: Adelman, whose February 2002 prediction that defeating Iraq would be a "cakewalk" was criticized when U.S. forces ran into resistance early in the conflict, appeared to feel vindicated and said the speed of the war surpassed his wildest hopes. "When I wrote that piece 14 months ago I never expected the war to be over in a fortnight with fewer than 100 American deaths," he said. Asked about the article, entitled "Cakewalk in Iraq," he said: "I think it holds up beautifully." Uh, the war's not over and there's more than 100 American deaths. But those're just piddlin' details. Surely, Syria and Iran will be cakewalks, also. More here. Thursday, April 10, 2003 "You know what sucks? Cleaning up after a party." Tuesday, April 8, 2003 More wacky bad weird music to download. Including 'The Ghost and Mr. Chicken" theme. (note to self: download "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken" theme) Tuesday, April 8, 2003 He had some good times, some bad times, on the streets of New Orleans. He grew a long white beard, something you don’t often see on clowns. "I probably was too messed up on drugs to shave regularly. Or, ya know, I didn’t want any razor blades next to my face while I was high up on coke." In Provincetown, Mass., Perry didn't quite fit in with the high and mighty. Maybe he did smell a bit boozy and utter lewd remarks at passing women, or coax children to run and ask their parents for a dollar, so he could "get by." Perri the Clown nevertheless mesmerized tourists with his antics, then fell out of favor with seemingly everyone in town. Clowns. Put on earth to brighten our short and all-too-few days. I hope we've put some joy into your life with Perri's story. Friday, April 4, 2003 More from Hullabaloo: On Our President's secret ingredient that makes him such a fine, fine leader. Friday, April 4, 2003 The United States on Friday ruled out a leading role for the United Nations (news - web sites) in immediate post-war Iraq (news - web sites) and said Washington and its allies had earned top-status having given "life and blood" to the war effort. Now we're going to have to give lots more money, as well as more life and blood. But at least we'll be able to say "Fuck you!" to the French. And Germans, Russians, Canadians, Mexicans.... Our coalition of the willing will help us out, won't you guys! Guys? More bitter ranting here, including a bit on the quiet little battle going on with congress and Powell on one side and the usual cast of swine on the other. Regime change, 2004, think about it. But don't talk to loudly about it, or they'll brand you as unpatriotic. Friday, April 4, 2003 Somebody's got a pair... Following a speech to the New York State United Teachers convention in Washington, Kerry said, "I'm not going to let the likes of Tom DeLay question my patriotism, which I fought for and bled for in order to have the right to speak out." Neither Hastert, Frist nor DeLay served in the military. In response to Kerry, DeLay spokesman Jonathan Grella said, "There's a difference between loving your country and leading it. Demanding regime change in America isn't unpatriotic -- it's vile." Kerry said Republicans have no right to criticize him when they are cutting funds to veterans hospitals. Thursday, April 3, 2003 On March 17, before he delivered a 48-hour ultimatum to Saddam, Bush summoned congressional leaders to the White House. They expected a detailed briefing, but the president told them he was notifying them only because he was legally required to do so and then left the room. They were taken aback, and some were annoyed. They were just as surprised by his buoyant mood two days later at another White House meeting. Could we see a Nixon-style breakdown? Or something stranger? Bush believes he was called by God to lead the nation at this time, says Commerce Secretary Don Evans, a close friend who talks with Bush every day. Thursday, April 3, 2003 Jon of Grand Rapids, Mich., writes in to tell me that I'm a sucker about the deadly, huge and fast Camel Spider. False, false, a thousand times false. All Urban Legend. Well, not all. They are quite fast for an arthropod (10mph max.), but they do not attack humans, do not ingest camel guts, and are not even venomous. Most human difficulties with bites from camel spiders are from secondary infections. They eat other small insects and arthropods, and only ingest liquid and small particulate matter. Nothing bigger than fine pulp is ever ingested. That pretty much excludes camel guts and human brains. They do have a habit of chasing shadows, which has given them the reputation of being aggressive, but in reality it is simply a matter of an adaptive behavior resulting from living in hot climates. Think about it...first, they are primarily nocturnal. During the day the sun beats down on the sand making it very hot. A camel spider awake and about during the day is likely going to be looking for someplace dark to go back to bed, and in addition is going to be looking for a place that isn't going to continue burning his spiky little legs off in the process. AHA! He sees a patch of shade and goes to check it out, completely unaware that it is your aunt Betsy's shadow. Aunt betsy freaks and runs, the spider follows, as its legs are really starting to fry and because they both run about the same speed it can appear that the spider is attempting to aggressively attack poor Betsy when in fact, it just wants to get out of the sun. I would still very likely scream like a girl should one attempt to share my personal space, but no one has ever been killed or even seriously injured by a camel spider. But I heard one ate a baby once, I swear. Thursday, April 3, 2003 Commercial radio "personalities" are so damned stupid. A bizarre billboard along Interstate 25 in southeast Albuquerque left many residents confused and angry Wednesday morning. The billboard features Iraqi president Saddam Hussein. Those who put it up say it is meant to support U.S. troops.... It turns out the billboard was put up as a stunt by two radio stations, Radio Lobo 97.7 and Wild 106, both owned by AGM Radio Group. Santa Andazola, a morning personality for Radio Lobo, says the stations want residents to come out during the next few days and by $5 to shoot the image of Saddam Hussein with a paintball gun. The pages on this site seem to vanish after a day, so if you don't see it, the billboard has three huge Saddams with nothing else -- no words, just Saddam in Our Glorious Leader mode. Those wacky DJs -- they so edgy! Thursday, April 3, 2003 The Otisfodder 365days Project -- one freaky, weird, awful, wonderful song a day for all of this year. This is what I was trying to tell the SwaG! listeners about this evening. Wednesday, April 2, 2003 I'm just going to scream like a girl for this link: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!! NO! GOD! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Hint: It's something you might find in the Iraqi wastelands that is worse than Saddam and his sons combined. What the fuck are we doing in this land of nightmare monsters?!? Wednesday, April 2, 2003 True patriots know that a price of freedom is periodic submission to the will of our leaders—especially when the liberties granted us by the Constitution are at stake. What good is our right to free speech if our soldiers are too demoralized to defend that right, thanks to disparaging remarks made about their commander-in-chief by the Dixie Chicks? From the only newspaper that gets it close to the truth. Wednesday, April 2, 2003 I'm still up?!? The things you find when you aimlessly wander around the web at 01:44 a.m. An interesting site on new developments in UK snack foods led me to face the horrible truth that Donald Rumsfeld helped push Aspartame to get approved by the US government. You know it as NutraSweet, the cause of impotence, scabies and anal leakage the world over. Tuesday, April 1, 2003 Remember the Rwanda Radio Massacre? Well, it wasn't called that, but radio played an important part in driving people into a frenzy, to incite genocide. That voice of authority has a power, if the conditions are just right, to send mobs to do one's bidding. Even if it's the voice of some US commercial radio stooge. Richard Condon, a morning show host for rock station KOOJ, said he wanted the hecklers to "put these goofballs in their place." "This has been going on since World War I, and it's the reason they have the right to feel the way they do," Condon said, pointing at the peace protesters marching down Stanford toward LSU. Despite that right, he concluded, "I think these son-of-a-buggers deserve a bullet in the head." This followed his proclamation to the crowd at the beach about American military aims that ended with: "And it's about time we nuked Canada's ass!" Monday, March 31, 2003 You think I was getting a little freaked-out down below at Sunday, March 30, 2003, 12:24 p.m.? Hey, I figured out that they were isolating Dubya from big, big pain a whole day before Mr. Talking Points Memo... The White House is in such a state of pandemonium and implosion that they are discarding the policy -- indeed, they are positively undermining it -- in the hopes of insulating the president from the immense fall-out that they can see barreling down the track. Consider also that, saying the president was "out of the loop" -- seemingly a family failing -- on the central policy of his administration is a devastating admission of incompetence on its own. So that tells you what they think of the consequences of remaining attached to the policy. Monday, March 31, 2003 Here's the big story on how Rumsfeld is fucking up this war. Of course, it's all Clinton's fault. Monday, March 31, 2003 My Dad Scared Me With His Creepy Doll Sunday, March 30, 2003 Did they lie to us, or were they also lying to themselves? What could happen in the future? Whose heads are going to roll? Its sort of grimly fascinating. Rumsfeld was telling ABC this morning that it was all General Tommy's plan, it was a great plan, he wished he could take credit for it, but Tommy's to blame--er, to congratulate. He was responding to questions based on this story: Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld repeatedly rejected advice from Pentagon planners that substantially more troops and armor would be needed to fight a war in Iraq, New Yorker Magazine reported. In an article for its April 7 edition, which goes on sale on Monday, the weekly said Rumsfeld insisted at least six times in the run-up to the conflict that the proposed number of ground troops be sharply reduced and got his way. Rumsfeld is saying it was all Tommy's idea. The Pentagon "sources" are saying Rumsfeld fucked up. Pre-war quotes from Rumsfeld, Cheney, Wolfowitz, Perle are turning up, showing how they sold shit to us by saying how quickly it'd go down and wouldn't taste bad at all. What about that one guy, we see him now and then, uh, looks a little like Alfred E. Neuman... The President? Think about the phrase "plausible deniability." Think about how ruthless Rove could be in protecting his man, like those fighters closest to Saddam who prove their viciousness by killing dogs with their teeth. Thursday, March 27, 2003 And on the homefront... fuck. Thursday, March 27, 2003 Oh, I shouldn't be reading this stuff this late at night. But to the Bush administration hawks who are guiding American foreign policy, this isn't the nightmare scenario. It's everything going as anticipated. Wednesday, March 26, 2003 This is old news. Don't read it. Don't even click on it. It will all be forgotten soon. Wednesday, March 26, 2003 Like John Stewart said last night on "The Daily Show," "Why do I feel like the government just took a shit on my chest?" Extra: For continuing coverage of Halliburton, Boots and Coots, and some scheming weirdness, bookmark Arms and The Man. Wednesday, March 26, 2003 The Onion gives us the basic point-counterpoint on the war. Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Well they’re losing all the outlaws Somebody spammed my guestbook telling me all about Hank III. Sheeeoooot, Ah knows about Hank III. But never been to his saht afore. It's deevided up into Honkytonk and Hellbilly, so as to show he's got a dew-al nature. Ah lak the videeo on the Hellbilly side, it's got skulls. Tuesday, March 25, 2003 Fuck. Fuckers. You know, I didn't like the idea of this war. But I thought, or maybe hoped/feared, that it would be quick and painless. Hoped because... well, no one likes pain, and feared because that would make Bush the hero in the eyes of all and so he'd be able to jump into the next war, and the next, until something really ugly stops us. I guess I had fallen in part to their propaganda. I'd forgotten that at their core there is a certain amount of arrogant clumsiness. Okay, a large amount. Maybe it's to early to say this, but they're fucking up the war. Armchair generals Rumsfeld, Cheney, Gingrich are micromanaging everything. Newt Gingrich!?!The Iraqis were supposed to surrender, the Sunis were supposed to rise up against Saddam, it was to be like the liberation of fucking Paris which those ungrateful French fucks seem to have forgotten. Gingrich knew this from all the Tom Clancy novels he's been reading, Cheney knew this from his close study of Burns' Civil War documentary, Rumsfeld knew from his dreams of a revolutionary fast and quick military. It would take a couple days, maybe a couple weeks, but then we'd have a democratic Iraq. "This is the ground war that was not going to happen in (Rumsfeld's) plan," said a Pentagon official. Because the Pentagon didn't commit overwhelming force, "now we have three divisions strung out over 300-plus miles and the follow-on division, our reserve, is probably three weeks away from landing." ....Knowledgeable defense and administration officials say Rumsfeld and his civilian aides at first wanted to commit no more than 60,000 American troops to the war on the assumption that the Iraqis would capitulate in two days. Two days?!? Last night I hear from FOX frustration that we're not bothering to bomb the fuck out of Iraq. It's probably the fault of those peace activists, and the blood of Americans will be on Michael Moore's hands. Fuckers. Who got us into this fucking mess? Who's fucking it up? Sunday, March 23, 2003 "It may turn out to be a war to remake the world." That wasn't said by some conspiracy-totin' lefty, that was said by one of the fucks who was pushing us into this war. Friday, March 21, 2003 Flying Viking kittens and a flying puppy want to start a nuclear war at the gay bar. It'll all be clear when you click on the link.V Friday, March 21, 2003 If I hear one more necktie-wearing motherfucker on TV wonder when they're gonna see "Shock and Awe" in action... All I have to say is, once this is over, the Iraqi people better be the freest fucking people on the face of the earth. They better be freer than me. They better be so fucking free they can fly. Friday, March 21, 2003 Thursday, March 20, 2003 The Revolution is not an AOL Keyword, brother...
Survivor, The Osbournes, and Joe Millionaire
There will be no final pictures from inside the Thursday, March 20, 2003 "Hey! You got your boob in my scotch!" As a way to get our heads off of scuds, the dictator and the idiot president, here's the "Boob Scotch" video. If you know Bob Log III, then you know Boob Scotch. You should probably know that it would be bad to watch this at work or in front of the kids. Thursday, March 20, 2003 In 1990-'91, I had a few strange nightmare-ish dreams about war. They all took place in Iraq. Tanks going over sand, weird scenes of propaganda featuring dead babies, things like that. I've been waiting for the dreams for this war. This morning I had it. It wasn't in Iraq, it was here, in the near future. I was working at some store, but we were closed, things were shut down. I was playing cards with co-workers. Then someone comes in to say that "the Feds are here, a wall of them!" It was like a wall, three long, thin cars lined up just outside the door. They came in, started moving people around. My brother -- why he was here, I don't know, but he fit the part -- began loudly talking back at the Feds. I was thinking, or maybe yelling, knock it off, don't say anything! They took him off somewhere, and they took me off to a room and locked me in. They gave no reason, didn't seem to be full of hate or any emotion, this was just something they had to do. The walls of the room began closing in like a trash compactor, and as the pressure built and the dream turned into a nightmare, I woke up. That's just where my head's at now. I'm not thinking too much of what's going on over there -- well, I am, but that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about what's happening over here. Wednesday, March 19, 2003 In thick European accent: Vedey interrresting. The short report in Le Figaro said Belgian police had identified the bugs as American, but EU officials did not confirm this. Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Old cranky white guy Jack Cafferty (coutnerpoint to the cheery ditz Paula Zhan) was grumping and harumphing this morning on CNN about how the UN was "irrelevant" and like "the 'Twilight Zone'" because they're still bringing up this subject about arms inspections and disarmament, etc. -- you know, the irrelevant stuff that seems to be the reason we're going into a big war. Yeah, let's just forget about that stuff, okay? It's just old history. As United Nations nuclear inspectors flee Iraq, some of them are angry at the Bush administration for cutting short their work, bad-mouthing their efforts and making false claims about evidence of weapons of mass destruction. Some inspectors are ``scandalized'' at the way President Bush and Secretary of State Colin Powell, among others, have ``politicized'' the inspection process, said a source close to the inspectors. None of the nuclear-related intelligence trumpeted by the administration has held up to scrutiny, inspectors say. From suspect aluminum tubes to aerial photographs to documents -- revealed to be forgeries -- that claimed to link Iraq to uranium from Niger, inspectors say they chased U.S. leads that went nowhere and wasted valuable time in their efforts to determine the extent of Saddam Hussein's arsenal of weapons banned after the 1991 Persian Gulf War. Okay. I'll stop now. This and other stories from Cursor. For something to get your minds off this, Here's a page of ultra-cheezey photos of '70s Euro bands, thanks to #1 Grand Rapids SwaG! fan Jon. (Yes, Andre, you can be #1 Grand Rapids SwaG! fan also.) Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Fuck. Red Alert will mean that "you will be assumed by authorities to be the enemy if you so much as venture outside your home," New Jersey anti-terror czar said. You might think that we'd get a red alert after being attacked in some huge way. But no, that just means there's a severe risk of terrorist attack. What do we get with a red alert? "Red means all noncritical functions cease," Caspersen said. "Noncritical would be almost all businesses, except health-related." ..."The state will restrict transportation and access to critical locations..." ..."You must adhere to the restrictions announced by authorities and prepare to evacuate, if instructed. Stay alert for emergency messages..." Wait, wait -- don't get all paranoid and freaked out. "You literally are staying home, is what happens, unless you are required to be out. No different than if you had a state of emergency with a snowstorm." But in most snowstorms you aren't arrested on sight. Wednesday, March 19, 2003 .... When I was getting heated with your producer about your tactics, I was in a car service coming back from an appearance on CNN Financial News. When I got off the cell phone, the driver said "I heard you on O'Reilly today. You were great. People don't usually stand up to him that way. I had no idea he had cut you off, I thought you just hung up on him." The fact that decent working people like that limo driver listen to your show is to your credit. Are you going to give them the straight story, or are you going to continue the kind of dishonesty and character assassination that you engaged in when I was on the program? Is it going to be the "no spin zone," or the "no integrity zone," Bill? To borrow a line from your employers at Fox News: I've reported, now you decide. Wednesday, March 19, 2003 This is really interesting. One of the major organizers of pro-war rallies is our old pals, Clear Channel. You don't think this has anything to do with sucking up to Colin Powell's son, do you? Jane Kirtley, a professor of media ethics and law at the University of Minnesota, said the company's support of the Bush administration's policy toward Iraq makes it "hard to escape the concern that this may in part be motivated by issues that Clear Channel has before the FCC and Congress." Tuesday, March 18, 2003 It's times like these when I just want to take a vacation to Drum Buddy Island. Tuesday, March 18, 2003 Is he chicken? Or did he not want to be a canary? At restaurants and spontaneously arranged hotel parties around town, journalists spooked one another with biochemical ghost stories. We were going to be right there with the soldiers, experiencing whatever hardships and horrors were happening on the ground. There was a disturbing circular argument behind this conflict: The war’s stated purpose was, in large part, to prove to the world that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction; if he really had them, and no one doubted that he did, it seemed only logical to believe that he was going to use them, especially when cornered. This invasion was thus designed to root out the very weapons we hoped—and at the same time feared—that he possessed. And we journalists were coming along not only to witness any chemical nastiness that might ensue but also, presumably, to breathe it. Monday, March 17, 2003 Freaky surreal paintings of Mark Ryden. Monday, March 17, 2003 "'AM PROUD T' BE AN 'MERICAAAAANN, WHERE AT LEAST AH KNOW AM FREEE...' Hey! You stand up and salute this here song afore ah kick your Saddam-lovin' ass! Sunday, March 16, 2003 So, looks like we're gonna have ourselves a war. Our President, George W. Bush, flew out to an island for a last minute sumit to figure out a way to solve this with diplomacy... and spent a whole fucking hour on this matter before coming out to tell the world that we now face "a moment of truth." It took an hour to work on this moment. But it's been years in the making. I heard a few days ago that it looks like Saddam has wired up all his wells, and they're sure to go boom once things get started. Don't worry, someone's been working on the fact that this might happen. Friday, March 14, 2003 Richard Perle is "a grandstanding pantywaist." Friday, March 14, 2003 Richard Perle is "a grandstanding pantywaist." Friday, March 14, 2003 It seems like I've heard all of this before, but it hasn't been brought up lately, until now: Then, on Feb. 8, 1963, the conspirators staged a coup in Baghdad. For a time the government held out, but eventually Kassem gave up, and after a swift trial was shot; his body was later shown on Baghdad television. Washington immediately befriended the successor regime. "Almost certainly a gain for our side," Robert Komer, a National Security Council aide, wrote to Kennedy the day of the takeover. As its instrument the C.I.A. had chosen the authoritarian and anti-Communist Baath Party, in 1963 still a relatively small political faction influential in the Iraqi Army. According to the former Baathist leader Hani Fkaiki, among party members colluding with the C.I.A. in 1962 and 1963 was Saddam Hussein, then a 25-year-old who had fled to Cairo after taking part in a failed assassination of Kassem in 1958. Friday, March 14, 2003 It's under "Convenience Fish." Okay, I have to get away from this computer now. Friday, March 14, 2003 ...and they're dishwasher safe! Friday, March 14, 2003 Stay away from New Rome, Ohio. Stay away from Ohio, period. And Indiana. Thursday, March 13, 2003 In other Country Music news: The Dixie Chicks dare to say they're ashamed of Our President, From Texas, George W. Bush "My comments were made in frustration and one of the privileges of being an American is you are free to voice your own point of view," the blond one said. And in the spirit of freedom I'm sure country stations will be dropping the Chicks quicker'n you can say, "AHM PROUD TO BE AN MERICAAAANNNNN, WHERE AT LEAST AH KNOW AHM FREE...." Thursday, March 13, 2003 O'Connor, a former producer of Marines recruitment ads, says the films are crafted as documentaries and "are not propaganda." Thursday, March 13, 2003 Formerly Uneasy Rider Charlie Daniels goes on the usual Hollywood Saddam-Lovers rant. He gets a big "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck yoooooooooooooooooou Charlie..." Let them protest. Let them visit Iraq. They haven't put anyone's lives in danger by doing so. Their visiting Iraq is not hurting the morale of our troops. Let them do their thing. That's why we live here in America. That why a bunch of my friends died while trying to blow up little brown people. People who died in uniform, and left behind orphans and widows. Just so that we would all have the freedom to say how we feel. Whether that be you ranting about Iraq, or me saying that I wouldn't feel comfortable letting George Bush lead a newspaper recycling drive, much less a war. And another person who calls Charlie's rant "bullshit propaganda" gets herself fired. Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Former Republican President Abe Lincoln gives his opinion on Bush's war: "Allow the President to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion [or, in this case, theoretical use of weapons of mass destruction], and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose -- and you allow him to make war at pleasure. Study to see if you can fix any limit to his power in this respect. ... "If, today, he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade Canada, to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him, 'I see no probability of the British invading us' but he will say to you, 'Be silent, I see it, if you don't.'" Wednesday, March 12, 2003 We have to go to war, now -- you don't want this set to go to waste, do you? Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Yeah, this Saint Patrick's Day I'm gonna be good and drunk, too. Tuesday, March 11, 2003 Cathy the cat keeps police busy Damn broom! He thinks he's going to sweep again! H |
