Pastor McPurvis' Weekly mp3 Talent Show
All the other links we missed on Weirdo Music
It's all quite expensive, but Mr. Guano is not marking up anything, so no profit for him. All he wants is for you to wear the Guano Brand and be a walking billboard for him.
More Stuff
Sites that give it away.
(sites we steal links from):
Plastic
Cursor
Talking Points Memo
Atrios
Metafilter
Obscure Store
Boing Boing
Excitement Machine
Fark
Kalamazoo Blog
| Give SwaG! a dollar. All money given will be used to buy music for broadcast on SwaG!. |
Brains from:
before 8/27/03
before 1/1/03
before 9/7/02
before 3/22/02
before 12/17/01
before 10/29/01
before 7/18/01
before 4/24/01
before 12/8/00
| Mr. Guano's email address:
Use "batswag" |
|
Monday, March 22, 2004 This is an archive. For more fresh SwaG!, go here. Monday, March 22, 2004 Oh, thank god. Mr Pants is back to work. Who else would tell us about Bobby Badfingers and the unique cat-themed art of Stuart Atkins? Sunday, March 21, 2004 Make way for swagradio.org! Soon to be your one-stop shop for SwaG!. I finally bit the bullet and got a real domain. Got it for .99 a month at 1and1. Which you should google, becasue it's amusing when Google tells you what 1and1 is. But what 1and1 is is slow. The Web-based "control pannel" is full of crazy js that just slows things down. So it may be a day before you see anything put up. (sobbing as I go from one 1and1 page to the next) I just want to FTP, that's all I need, just let me know where to FTP to, ple-he-he-ease! Friday, March 19, 2004 Friday, March 19, 2004 Oprah learns how to get her salad tossed on TV, but Howard Stern's producer is afraid to let him play the Oprah clip on the radio. Stern's producer is right -- the FCC would fine him again, even though they will probably ignore the depravity on Oprah's filthy show. Wednesday, March 17, 2004 You know, you wouldn't want to vote for, you know al Qaeda's favorite candidate... In comments addressed to Bush, the group said: But that's why I like Kerry, his cunning ability to embellish blasphemy. Wednesday, March 17, 2004 BULLSHIT ALERT #2! BULLSHIT ALERT #2! BULLSHIT ALERT #2! Tuesday, March 16, 2004 BULLSHIT ALERT! BULLSHIT ALERT! BULLSHIT ALERT! Tuesday, March 16, 2004 The year was 1972. Good times for some... For much of 1972, the 26-year-old Bush lived, worked and played in Alabama, mostly in Montgomery. He came to town to work for Blount at the urging of his father and with the help of a family friend, GOP political consultant Jimmy Allison of Midland, Texas. And he lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath cottage in Montgomery's historic Cloverdale neighborhood, the furnished home of a 68-year-old widow.– Tuesday, March 16, 2004 Question Answerer, where SeXyThUg150 and SkyGurl4 go to get their questions answerered. Friday, March 12, 2004 Friday, March 12, 2004 Security people kept reporters from interviewing the workers at U.S.A. until the president was gone. Thursday, March 11, 2004 Look, to your left, a list of sites that take old albums and sonic flotsams and jetsams, turned them into MP3s, and give them away. We'll try to keep adding to the list. All music SwaG! quality. And you know what that means. Or do you? Last night while playing the great Shooby Taylor, I got a call from a young woman. I think she was the same one who wanted to hear Cracker earlier in the show. "What is this? What kind of music are you playing?" she asked. I told her what scat was, but I think she was talking about the show overall. She listens to WIDR, she told me, but it sounded like she never heard SwaG!. Then came the question I should probably face every day: "Do people... do people listen to this?" She asked not in a mean way. She sounded sincerely confused, bewildered, a bit disturbed, like someone had put liverwurst in her tofu. "No. Nobody listens. It's sad, really," I told her. Then, after she asked more questions like she was talking to a lost alien or something, I had to tell her that a fairly large amount of listeners actually donated money during the show for WIDR Week in February. "Oh. Well that's good. Good for you." It was a fairly polite talk, though I was in my natural state, on the verge of being a smart ass. But it seemed like it was the same kind of polite talk, say on the meaning of life between polite Midwestern evangelical christians and agnostics. SwaG! is disorienting, confusing, bewildering. If you don't get it, you really don't get it. But that don't mean you'll never get it. You'll hear that one thing you just can't believe you like, then you'll wonder what the next thing will be, and the next, and the next, and the.... Thursday, March 11, 2004 WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush opened the White House and Camp David to dozens of overnight guests last year, including foreign dignitaries, family friends and at least nine of his biggest campaign fund-raisers, documents show. What next -- will he be messin' with the interns? Tuesday, March 9, 2004 Okay, I'm trying, I'm really, really trying. Trying to find other things to post about, other than... you know. This is part of the SwaG! empire, set around the radio program of the same name. So you'd think we'd have a few SwaG! music links, like to a page of MP3s of great '60s rock and cheeze from Japan by Young Guy (Wakadaishô) actor Yuzo Kayama? Or maybe a site of reviews of fine films Not Coming to a Theater Near You? There's that other subject, that makes my gut tighten, my teeth grind... But we will try to find other things, more SwaG! things, for this page. One day, probably this November, we won't have to be so full of hate and bile. Now, we should just point out that you could go to those who seem in-the-know, and if something comes up related to Our President, George W. Bush, that really pisses me off, surely I'll let you know. But even Talking Points Memo has to take a breather with posts of detailed reviews of the horror of Funyuns. Tuesday, March 9, 2004 Les Baxter's Teen Drums, high quality MP3s of this rare bit of beat-crazy cheeze. Monday, March 8, 2004 Oh yeah. That photo. I want to see that look on his face all damn year. Now until November. Then November until Jan. 20, when that look is frozen on his face as he gets on the chopper. Sunday, March 7, 2004 "You can enjoy Vietnamese Coffee." Discussion on, How-to. How-to doesn't mention the sweetened condensed milk. Very important step. Add ice for summertime coffee fun. Friday, March 5, 2004 To temper your joy over the news of Martha Stewart's impending incarceration, you should know that Mojo Nixon is retiring. Thursday, March 4, 2004 Mindy Kleinberg said she was offended because the White House has not cooperated fully with the commission and because of the sight of remains being lifted out of Ground Zero in one of the spots. Uh, nevermind. Wednesday, March 3, 2004 Bush/Cheney '04 ads to use millions of dollars and nearly 3,000 dead bodies. The ads include images of the wreckage from the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks and declining stock market numbers as they seek to portray Bush as a president who has faced both foreign and domestic problems and emerged as a leader on both fronts. WASHINGTON, March 2 — The independent commission investigating the Sept. 11 attacks is refusing to accept strict conditions from the White House for interviews with President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney and is renewing its request that Mr. Bush's national security adviser testify in public, commission members said Tuesday. Wednesday, February 25, 2004 On Atrios, new slogans for Bush/Cheney '04. The real one: "Steady Leadership in Times of Change." New ones: Don't Switch Horsemen Mid-Apocalypse If you ain't broke, they'll fix it. Bush and Dick. The way God intended. Bush/Cheney '04: The last vote you'll ever have to cast. Four More Wars! Bush-Cheney: We've already got your vote tallied. God put us here for a reason! Can You Ever Have Too Much of a God Thing? You don't ask, we don't tell. Bush-Cheney: Do you fear us now?? Good!! Bush/Cheney: Don't Change Whores Midstream Vote Bush/Cheney - Because we know where you live "More for the rich, less for the poor —Bush / Cheney '04" We came. We bombed. We fucked up. Bush/Cheney 2004. Nader 04 God helps them that help themselves. Bush-Cheney: It'll hurt less if you stop struggling. Bush/Cheney '04: The Final Solution to Peace and Prosperity A marriage that's banned is worth two with Neil Bush. Bush/Cheney 04 - Fool you twice, you can get fooled again! Bush/Cheney'04: Because FREEDOM can't suppress itself! Bush/Cheney 1984 "Bush/Cheney 2004: Evidence of Hamburger Manufacturing Related Job Program Activities" Bush Cheney 04 Campaign Strategy: Wag the Fag Bush/Cheney: Hey, Look Over There! Wednesday, February 25, 2004 Again, Andrew Sullivan has the most interesting posts on Our President, George W. Bush, using the Constitution for political ass-wipe. Basically, how can you support Your President, and Your President's War, and the sacred document that's supposed to give freedom, not take it away, in this situation? You can't. I hope this will make Republicans (at least gay Republicans) see that our problem with Bush is not always a left/right, Republican/Democrat thing. The guy and his administration are, down to the core, dishonest, manipulative, cynical -- just rotten. And they don't respect basic democracy, as this shows. Push for a change in the law of the land to limit the freedom of a big chunk of citizens? Sure! Whatever it takes to get "elected" again. Tuesday, February 24, 2004 Today could be the day he lost the election... BUSH HATES HOMOS, CONSTITUTION! Andrew Sullivan begins to understand... Some journalists are reporting that White House sources are telling them that they do not expect this to pass but they need to fire up their base. They'd go this far for purely political reasons? I guess I really was naive. Basically, Bush, in order to suck up to right wing freaks (see Feb 22 post below), would like to turn the Constitution from a document that gives freedoms to a document that limits freedoms. I have a wife, don't need a husband. Our union is not threatened by anything (well, there is the matter of our cat's name, but I can deal with that). But yesterday morning I woke up with a dream stuck in my head, thinking it could be a great book about the near-future. It was about some guy (not me, honey) who's wife kept muttering some Orwellian slogan ("It's all for The Good.") which made him think she'd turned into a robot. He thought of divorce, but thanks to some future "sanctity of marriage" act, divorce was outlawed. He couldn't kill her, so he planned his escape through some sort of underground... Well, that's the kind of stuff I dream about. The point is that this shit is the antithesis of the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave. Do we need the Constitution to tell us how fucking MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED TO WORK?!? They came for the gays, they'll come for you. Tuesday, February 24, 2004 John Dingell kicks ass. The link is to a PDF of his official letter to Bush's Greg Mankiw, the guy who tells us that outsourcing jobs to other countries is a good thing and who speculates that fast-food jobs could be considered manufacturing jobs. Here's the text of the letter. Dear Dr. Mankiw: Bush lost Michigan in 2000, and will do so again in 2004. Fred Upton, I'm looking at you... Sunday, February 22, 2004 "I'm not blaming the president, but.... The gay rights movement is more powerful, the culture is more decadent, the life of not one baby has been saved, porn is in the living room, and you can't watch the Super Bowl without your hand on the off switch." America has become Sodom and Gomorrah under George W. Bush, says Gary Bauer. Friday, February 20, 2004 Remember when the Reagan administration wanted to classify ketchup as a vegetable in school lunch programs? Is cooking a hamburger patty and inserting the meat, lettuce and ketchup inside a bun a manufacturing job, like assembling automobiles? Assholes. Wednesday, February 18, 2004 Ahh, Halliburton . . . Is there anything you can't do? Just a nice, compact list, with references, on Halliburton's over-charching, bribery, kickbacks, dirty kitchens for our troops, and business done with Iran and Saddam's Iraq. Tuesday, February 17, 2004 Like the hunt for WMD's, is this going to be a matter of looking for something that isn't there? If the Texas National Guard had ever asked George W. Bush to prove he'd fulfilled his duty and he had to depend on the papers in his own military file to make the case, he would have been unsuccessful. That's the only conclusion that can be drawn from the White House's recent document dump, in which aides insisted they released "absolutely everything" in the president's file in order to remove any lingering doubts about Bush's Guard service between 1972 and 1973 when Bush moved to Alabama to work on a senate campaign for the friend of his father. Monday, February 16, 2004 So, did the document dump of Friday aswer all those nagging questions about young George W. Bush's later National Guard years? Interesting quote: During a telephone interview with USA TODAY in 2002, Roome described Bush's career as mercurial; the first three years were outstanding, the final two troubled. "You wonder if you know who George Bush is," Roome said. Friday, February 13, 2004 Still trolling for trash in gutter politics... Come join us in a visit to George W. Bush's Funky 1972, to hear about the sex, drugs, rock and roll and Republicanism! Sources go on the record here, and the writer doesn't hold back with the color. Friday, February 13, 2004 Update of last post: I was just guessing about the coke, really. I'm just going to cut'n'paste this from the comments of the Atrios post that led us on this wild goose chase of pure gutter politics: James Bath... That's the same guy listed in the book, The Fortunate Son, that described Bush's cocaine arrest in the 70's. Presumably, Bush was arrested for posession along with this guy Bath. The book was ridiculed as being far-fetched. But how interesting to see Bath's name pop up on the same flight readiness report, a pilot disqualified from flying for the same exact reason as Bush, failure to show up for a flight medical! Friday, February 13, 2004 Bit by bit, deeper and deeper, we get into those mysterious early years of George W. Bush. As found here, we know that young Bush did not take his annual medical examination and so was suspended from flying. This we know is true. It has never been said why he didn't show up for the examination. Maybe he was sick that day, or felt squeamish for some reason about peeing in a cup, who knows. Just below Bush's listing on the document linked to above is another guy suspended from flying for the very same reason, a James R. Bath. Bush was suspended in Aug. 1972, Bath in Sept. 1972. The White House has been asked the question, doesn't Bush have any old National Guard buddies who could come forth and say, yeah, he was there, he did what was needed, etc.? Maybe Bush was such a prick that he didn't have any buddies, but it seems that he knew and stayed in contact with this Bath guy. Bath became a Houston businessman who, in the late '70s, helped Bush get his Arbusto Energy company off the ground. Why doesn't this Bath guy come forward with his story? It's just speculation and cannot be proven, yet, that he and Bush may have missed their exams because they had spent a weekend doing blow off of nude hookers across the Rio Grande, and we here at the SwaG! newsroom refuse to indulge in such blatant gutter politics. Maybe Bath doesn't come forward because he and Bush are connected in ways that may be much more sordid, and a bit more relevant to our world now than coke, hookers, etc.? But it's all speculation, and I'm sure the release of more documents will clear up everything. Friday, February 13, 2004 This is an example of what they used to call "rat-fuckng" back when rat-fuckers were trying to reelect President Nixon. Your term for the day, maybe the year, kids... Rat-Fucking! Study it well. Wednesday, February 11, 2004 Janet Jackson's Boobie!!! Okay, now that we have your attention... It's WIDR Week! Please give to help keep noncommercial radio alive in Kalamazoo. Kalamazoo may be a strange and obscure place for many out there, but you can listen on the web, just go to the site and follow the directions. You'll hear unique programming, especially if you listen Wednesday nights at 9 p.m. Eastern. We managed to pull in 0 during SwaG! for last year's WIDR Week. This year we're shooting for more. Budget cuts are endangering WIDR. We really need your help this time. I keep thinking about the "We're going to take back our country!" talk coming from the campaigns. How about we take back our airwaves? Or at least hold onto the tiny frequency we've got? The media is owned by a tiny number of corporations. The FCC has been working to let more of the public spectrum be purchased by these few corporations. But, oops, there's some problems with this situation. What happens when, say, a Superbowl halftime show, produced by MTV, which is owned by Viacom, which is owned by CBS (or is CBS owned by Viacom? I forget...), lets our families see a filthy, disgusting, nude body part?!? The FCC goes into a fine frenzy, but realizes that their standard fines aren't large enough to hurt corporations. So the FCC is in a pickle. They want to give our airwaves to the corporations, but in doing so, they've created a monster who's desire to TITillate cannot be tamed. Well, you can bet that WIDR will not show its tits or dicks or broadcast words like tit, dick, fuck, shit, etc. because if the FCC fined us we'd be FUCKING DEAD. What would be a slap on the wrist for a corporation owning many stations would destroy WIDR. The FCC should be protecting the public airwaves, but it seems only concerned with protecting the public from mildly offensive material. What's offensive to WIDR listeners? Hearing that same tired commercial crap, or some right-wing jag-off blabbing, or that same Bob Segar song you got sick of in '81? How about knowing that what we got here in Kalamazoo radio is the same as in Cleveland, Wallawalla or any other comically named US city, thanks to the McDonaldsization of radio through non-local programming -- does that offend you? If so, you know what to do. Tuesday, February 10, 2004 Those of us who've always doubted saw the Sunday Meet the Press interview with Our President, George W. Bush, and thought, "same old shit." But something new is happening. Some of those who trusted him for so long, who thought we were bringing freedom to Iraqis and safty to the US, started seeing the light last Sunday morning. President Bush's appearance on "Meet the Press" on Sunday was the last straw. For months, I've been hoping that the cache of weapons would actually turn up. For months, I've suffered cruel jokes about me trusting a Bush. And for months, I've watched the rationale for the war on Iraq shift from one that I could digest to one that makes me want to throw up. This isn't a time for those who've always doubted to do the Nelson Muntz "HA-ha!" Though that's understandable. We've got to realize that these people are going through something ugly and horrible. Like if you discovered your significant other cheating on you -- with farm animals. They feel like major suckers, you don't need to remind them. Just make sure they're registered to vote by November. That's what I'm feeling right now -- distrust and real fear. Monday, February 9, 2004 (following up on the last post) Actually, Bush is looking at the world using the old Platonic view of reality. This big-picture notion of reality, existence, and the world as it is dates back 2,400 years to the Greek philosopher Plato. Plato believed that what's real isn't the things you can touch and see: your computer, your desk, those empty barrels in Iraq that Bush thought were full of chemical weapons. What's real is the general idea of these things. The idea of a computer. The idea of a desk. The idea of an Iraqi threat to the United States. Whether you actually have a computer or a desk, or whether Saddam Hussein actually had chemical weapons, is less important than the larger truth. The abstraction is the reality. Plato's successor, Aristotle, took a different view. He thought reality was measured by what you could touch and see. That's the definition of reality on which modern science was founded. It's the definition Colin Powell used when he told the world Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. It's the definition David Kay used when he set out to find the weapons. Kay and Powell are dismayed by our inability to see and touch the weapons. But Bush isn't. He isn't going to let Aristotle's reality distract him from Plato's. Monday, February 9, 2004 "I don't want to get into a word contest." Sorry George, that's what politics is. It helps to have a grasp on words, and complex abstract thinking is a big help. But don't get too complex... In defending his decision to go to war in Iraq, President Bush suggested yesterday a belief that U.N. inspections and sanctions were of limited utility in preventing Saddam Hussein from acquiring weapons of mass destruction. See, there's the problem -- conflicts between what was said, what is being said, and what hasn't been found to be reality. Friday, February 6, 2004 Let's just headline this Unpopular President Starts Last Year In Office In Decline. They give many reasons why Our President, George W. Bush, is suckin' in the polls now. But no mention of how his numbers went up when Saddam was caught, and how that hasn't caused a decline in the transfer tubes coming back. Oh, well. Eventually people see the light. "I think he's run the country into the ground economically, and he comes out with these crazy ideas like going to Mars and going to the moon," said Richard Bidlack, a 78-year-old retiree from Boonton, N.J., who says he voted for Bush in 2000. "I'm so upset at Bush, I'll vote for a chimpanzee before I vote for him." Wednesday, February 4, 2004 A funny, scary review of a book on Black Metal freaks who send souls to Satan in Norway, and a book by Neocon freaks who send souls to Jesus in Iraq. To be fair, Vikernes and another Black Metalist murderer, Hendrik Mobus, come off as far more interesting, intellectual and complex with their second-rate Nietzschean ideas mixed up with D&D mythology, whereas Perle and Frum’s war manifesto is surprisingly dull and sparse. Indeed, on each page the words are spaced so far apart you could drive a fertilizer-packed white van between each line. I read it in one sitting and came away with only one memorable line, in which they disparagingly called Belgium "France’s pilot fish." On the other hand, Perle and Frum have used their influence over Bush to rack up a far, far higher corpse-count than the hapless Norwegian dirtheads, so they more than make up for their lack of aesthetic flair or stylized corpse paint with genuine blood on their hands. Tuesday, February 3, 2004 Why I love Plastic. The headline for this probably popped into editor's heads in newspapers across the country, but only Plastic dares to go for the gusto. Sunday, February 1, 2004 The Republican primary was held last Tuesday in New Hampshire. A lot of Republicans came out, to give Our President, George W. Bush a landslide of 85 percent of the 62,927 ballots cast. Other Republicans are challenging Our President? Yes, but they weren't the ones to get the non-Bush votes. There were some write-ins: US Senator John Kerry, D-Massachusetts, who won the Democratic primary, came in second to Bush in the Republican contest, winning 3,009 votes. Kerry's name was written in on almost 5 percent of all GOP ballots. Who were these Republican renegades for Kerry? People like 61-year-old retired teacher David Anderson. A Vietnam veteran, Anderson told New Hampshire's Concord Monitor that he wrote in Kerry's name because the senator, also a veteran, understands the folly of carrying on a failed war. "I feel a commander, the president of the United States, ought to be a veteran," explained Anderson, who says his top priority is getting US troops out of Iraq. Saturday, January 31, 2004 At last, something new on AM radio: Mischke also cultivates the idea that the show's structure will be unpredictable from night to night: all call-in one evening, monologues only for the next few days, serious political discussion on one show, and all farce on the next. The night the final Seinfeld episode aired, Mischke "took himself hostage," yelling quite convincingly that he had a gun and would shoot if anyone stopped listening to watch TV. Two years ago he paused to consider what to say at the beginning of a program -- and decided just to keep quiet. For the next two hours he said nothing at all, until his usual "Sleep well!" sign-off at 10:00 p.m. When callers rang the station in confusion, he pressed a button to put them on the air without telling them he was doing so. Soon a spontaneous callers' show was in progress. Saturday, January 31, 2004 Find words we can all live by in Uncle Patrick’s Advice to Children. Monday, January 26, 2004 Friday, January 23, 2004 I'd like to see this written as a one-act of dadaist theatre. Remarks by the President to the Press Pool: Buy Some Ribs, Stretch Thursday, January 22, 2004 Republican staff members of the US Senate Judiciary Commitee infiltrated opposition computer files for a year, monitoring secret strategy memos and periodically passing on copies to the media, Senate officials told The Globe. Tuesday, January 20, 2004 Vice President Cheney says he believes "the jury's still out" on whether Iraq had the chemical and biological weapons that were the Bush administration's justification for war. It takes such a long time to prove that 0 was really 0 all along. Cheney also said that he didn't think his image will hurt Bush in the election: "Am I the evil genius in the corner that nobody ever sees come out of his hole?" he said. "It's a nice way to operate, actually." Sunday, January 18, 2004 Bush Youth storm Democrat rally, attack Joan Jett. They push her, she pushes back. Yeah, Democrats need more aging punk rockers in their crowd. Saturday, January 17, 2004 Surviving Nugent? Ted almost didn't. Ted Nugent was injured on the Texas set of his reality show when a chain saw cut through his leg. Thursday, January 15, 2004 Tuesday, January 13, 2004 Not Washington, not Jefforson, not Lincoln, not FDR... not even Ronald Reagan. "No President has ever done more for human rights than I have." It's that combination of stupidity and arrogance that really gets a guy to the top. Tuesday, January 13, 2004 Hey Kids! Joint the Super Secret SwaG! Fuck Shit Up Club! Here's the deal. If you join, you can really mess with the country, put a boot in the ass of the swine. Click here, fill out the form. Our main meeting is the first Tuesday of November. It's far off, but you can't play if you don't join. Sunday, January 11, 2004 9/11 changed everything and that's why we had to go to war with Iraq. Uh... um... just watch 60 Minutes Sunday. Tuesday, January 6, 2004 In other news... Bobby Hatfield should've just gone to any one of Kalamazoo's fine cafes for his pre-show picker-upper... Tuesday, January 6, 2004 They really got him: Ray Davies shot in New Orleans. He's okay. He chased after purse snatchers in the Quarter, got shot. A hero, or just a pissed-off guy. Which makes him better than Chris from the Meat Puppets, who got shot while being a dick over a parking space. Tuesday, January 6, 2004 Well, that was quick. NY Post says Dean=Hitler. But Howard Dean and his Deanie-weenies do all they can to restrict the free speech of others. I can predict with certainty that Dean's Internet Gestapo will pounce on this column, twisting the facts and vilifying the writer, just as they do when anyone challenges Howard the Coward. So, when's the MeetUp where we march on this writer's house, BYOB wheatgrass Molitov cocktail? These are the techniques employed by Hitler's Brownshirts. Had Goebbels enjoyed access to the internet, he would have used the same swarm tactics as Dean's Flannelshirts. It's going to be an ugly, ugly year. Saturday, January 3, 2004 "My Name is Blanket," the autobiography of Blanket Jackson, copyright 2046. Friday, January 2, 2004 AND NOW, THE FIRST BUSH-BASHING POST OF THE NEW SwaG! YEAR: Remember that "lump in the bed" poem Our President wrote for Our First Lady? Well, if that made you a bit annoyed, relax. He never wrote it. MR. RUSSERT: Now, who could have written that poem, huh? I mean, what ... What's really interesting about the constant image manipulation of Bush's world is how it clashes with the reality of the clumsyness of these dolts. Monday, December 22, 2003 See Yesterday's House of Tomorrow, Today! Monday, December 22, 2003 I've been just anybody-but-Bush about the gang running for the Dem. nomination. But now I think I know who my favorite is. DERRY, N.H. -- Moments after praising his opponents in the Democratic presidential race as worthy running mates, Wesley Clark said, in no uncertain terms, how he would respond if they or anyone else criticized his patriotism or military record. Sunday, December 21, 2003 They just had to notice the yellow dates. I'm not saying it's true, but just by showing interest I show my, let's say, lack-of-trust.t Saturday, December 20, 2003 Photos of people living the SwaG! Life, looking the SwaG! Look! You can too if you knit your own mod fashions. Friday, December 19, 2003 "Journalist" from a foriegn land, comes to our country to "interview" a foriegner who's done much damage to American Culture, and is sent back to her own strange land. ....she had to clear LAX’s immigration check-in, which she reached after 20 minutes in line. An officer from the DHS’s newly minted Customs and Border Protection (CBP) bureau studied the traveler’s declaration form Smethurst had filled out on the plane. Thursday, December 18, 2003 Private rocket plane kicks major ass. Next stop, space. SpaceShipOne then flew into a stable gliding flight before starting a pull-up when it fired its rocket motor. From the Wright Brothers to Burt Rutan. Thursday, December 18, 2003 Ahh.... shit. Too much. It's just... you know. Bush. War. 9/11 lies. I woke up this morning, hear VP Dick again putting Saddam, WMDs, 9/11 all together. And you know they'll be singing this song until next November. Even though it''s based on bullshit. And we've got to keep trying to illuminate the truth. Whatever that may be. Not to get Dean or whoever elected, but just to keep up that hope that freedom, democracy, etc. will work to eventually send the swine back down to the muck where they belong. Go to Cursor and Talking Points Memo for today's stories. Those sites, by the way, are the best for rational, non-foaming - at - the mouth (as we get here sometimes) looks at the alternate reality of Bush's America (or the Bush Matrix). Wednesday, December 17, 2003 You got a major label CD for Xmas? What a crappy present! Wednesday, December 17, 2003 We won the war, we caught the dictator in his spider hole, and all Diane Sawyer can ask Our President, George W. Bush, is what's up with the WMDs that don't seem to be there, or anywhere. He squirmed and jumped so much it looked like a big spider came out of his hole and bit Bush on the ass. And once again, when backed into a corner, he connects Saddam with 3,000 dead Americans. "And there is no doubt that the president must act, after 9/11, to make America a more secure country." But she keeps asking questions! The wrong questions! Those aren't on the script. Didn't Sawyer follow the script when she was shaming the Dixie Chicks? What happened? Tuesday, December 16, 2003 Oh, god, it's happening, again... the santas, the santas... Saturday, December 13, 2003 The Commander in Chief feared his own troops, Stars and Stripes reports. With the Pentagon just recovering from that, Stars and Stripes is blowing the whistle on President Bush's Thanksgiving visit to Baghdad, saying the cheering soldiers who met him were pre-screened and others showing up for a turkey dinner were turned away. Saturday, December 13, 2003 The FCC has long had regulations concerning the broadcast of profane language. Usually, they only come down on a station when some That's not enough for some congressmen, it seems. They are going to make the uttering of a word or two from a short list in a broadcast punishable by law. Problem is, the list is way too short. They missed dick-wad, pud-whacker, titties, bung-hole, and Bush. Here's a related, new, Get Your War On. Fuckin' fuckity fuck. Friday, December 12, 2003 Okay, I'm getting myself really pissed off. Time to stop reading about, you know (see posts below). Let's see what's new at Found. There's a happy family. And oh, Iraq again -- it would be a great place to find stuff, mostly creepy and disturbing stuff. Friday, December 12, 2003 I never would've expected this. WASHINGTON, Dec. 11 — A Pentagon investigation has found evidence of overcharging and other violations in billions of dollars worth of reconstruction contracts for Iraq that were awarded to Vice President Dick Cheney's former company, military officials said today. Looks like Wolfowitz is taking care of the problem. Friday, December 12, 2003 Our President, George W. Bush, is such a damn prick. When told yesterday that Mr. Schroeder believed Mr. Bush's contract decision might violate international law, the president responded with a sarcastic gibe: "International law? I better call my lawyer." Like other puerile taunts delivered by administration officials, the president's words will merely serve to further erode support for his policies in countries that historically have stood with the United States. Tuesday, December 9, 2003 Links to free music for all good SwaG! boys and girls. Tuesday, December 9, 2003 A Fresh Start for Iraqi School Children Monday, December 8, 2003 It worked in Vietnam, it's working for Israel, so why shouldn't it work in Ira-- nevermind. Monday, December 8, 2003  That face... kinda familiar. Don't tell me... it's that one guy. Behind everything. Saturday, December 6, 2003 Good Night, Teen Kings and Queens of the Golden Age, Sleep Well. I'm just going to copy this from Boing Boing, who copied it from some horror author's magazine essay. Seems that the kids who bought enough records to make rock king are sleepy. So what happened in the '90s? I think we're seeing an entire generation -- my generation, the baby-boom generation -- turning off the lights upstairs and putting a sign on the door: SORRY, BUT I'M TAKING A NAP. MIND CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. Pretty much the same deal is going on with music sales. Piracy and illegal downloads, although covered to a fare-thee-well in the press, account for only a fraction of the drop in $$. I think what's happening is all too clear: We baby boomers are just too pooped to party. Oh, we do buy some records -- you may have heard that we love the Beatles, Rod Stewart, and those funksters the Rolling Stones. Just don't try to get us to listen to anyone who isn't registered with AARP! Bob Seger was probably correct when he told us rock & roll never forgets, but it sure gets tired. Saturday, December 6, 2003 I'm looking at this, wondering if I should download it or not. If I do, you know I'll make you listen to it. The 365days of Otisfodder are just about over. Hurry now, get all the songs while you still can! Thursday, December 4, 2003 Thursday, December 4, 2003 You know how ads featuring food are made? They never use real food, because they have to have something that looks perfect under the hot lights and other conditions of a photo, video or film shoot. So they get a perfect looking hunk of non-food, bring in an actor or two or 600, and shoot away. Tuesday, December 2, 2003 This is how Vietnam became such a fuck-up. We were told that we got 47, or 54, or whatever, Feddayeen in the battle of Samarra. But the guy in the above link, who just signs himself "A COMBAT LEADER," writes that basically a convoy carrying cash was attacked by maybe criminals, maybe guerillas, so we shot up the place. It's all a part of the "Iron Fist" tactic, which has some inherent problems. Oh, we show those Iraqis what could happen if they mess with us, but... The belief in superior firepower as a counter-insurgency tactic is then extended down to the average Iraqi, with the hope that the Iraqis will not support the guerillas and turn them in to coalition forces, knowing we will blow the hell out of their homes or towns if they don't. Of course in too many cases, if the insurgents bait us and goad us into leveling buildings and homes, the people inside will then hate us (even if they did not before) and we have created more recruits for the guerillas.... Sometimes you have to destroy the village to save it. But we are rebuilding schools as fast as we can to win hearts and minds. Tuesday, December 2, 2003 Dr. Xeron of the Monokulators just sent us this note. Cruel of him, becase for reasons that should be clear, I can't go. ROCKET FROM THE TOMBS Sunday, November 30, 2003 Sunday, November 30, 2003 Are you Republican, but worried that your President is an idiot who's running our country into the ground? Now you have a choice: Blake Ashby, Republican for President. Saturday, November 29, 2003 "I beat up some kids today, but it had a purpose. It made me feel good about myself." The best holiday movie of the century. Friday, November 28, 2003 Yes, another commercial from Japan. Friday, November 28, 2003 So all of a sudden, Hillary Clinton wants to visit Afghanistan and Iraq, just to steal the thunder from Our President, George W. Bush... Wait, this came out last Tuesday. Looks like she found out about his top secret plans. Tuesday, November 25, 2003 The Rules for journalists covering Our President, George W. "Joe Stalin" Bush, for his visit with the troops. Ground Rule 9 for the media covering President Bush's presidential visit Monday sounded more like an edict from Beijing or a banana republic. "Write positive stories about Ft. Carson and the U.S. Army," Ground Rule 9 commanded. Tuesday, November 25, 2003 Hmmm... maybe SwaG! should go to an all-Xmas music format. Tuesday, November 25, 2003 Land of the free, home of the brave? Maybe make that, If you want to stay free, you'd better be brave. Congress approved a bill on Friday that expands the reach of the Patriot Act, reduces oversight of the FBI and intelligence agencies and, according to critics, shifts the balance of power away from the legislature and the courts. UPDATE: Just found a very inspirational quote: "Democracy will succeed because the United States of America will not be intimidated by a bunch of thugs." It's inspirational as long as you ignore its source and context. Monday, November 24, 2003 It sounds like a very disturbed child.
Monday, November 24, 2003 Yup. "When you put a sign on the freeway people will read it until someone takes it down." Monday, November 24, 2003 This reminds me of the Simpsons episode last night, where they went to England. In a traffic situation, Homer acts "like an American, unilaterally!" and rear-ends the Queen's coach. In the story linked above, we all know who the Homer is. Royal officials are now in touch with the Queen's insurers and Prime Minister Tony Blair to find out who will pick up the massive repair bill. Palace staff said they had never seen the Queen so angry as when she saw how her perfectly-mantained lawns had been churned up after being turned into helipads with three giant H landing markings for the Bush visit. Saturday, November 22, 2003 More wonderful movie-HATE: "...the producers may as well have skipped the hassle of securing licensing rights and simply called this mess Mike Myers: Asshole in Fur." From Metafilter thread on that movie. There are bad movies, and movies that deserve to be slammed, but why such loathing for this? Could it be that this is a case of corporate Hollywood cross-marketing child-rape? I feel, when I see the shit in the store with that creepy image of Myers as the Cat, that some flashy, trendy pop celebrity travled back in time to molest me in my childhood. Oh well. It's all very SNAFU. Friday, November 21, 2003 "The Cat in the Hat" gets neutered: "Myers isn't playing a character. He's just doing comedy sketches in a strange costume and makeup while stealing Charles Nelson Reillys voice." "A vulgar, uninspired lump of poisoned eye candy" "What's next? Will the Sneetches get wild and crazy? Will the Lorax get jiggy with Daisy-Head Mayzie?" Friday, November 21, 2003 I can't understand how so many can look the other way while the sacred institution of marriage is destroyed every day! Friday, November 21, 2003 We really need more dumb flash videos. Friday, November 21, 2003 When one looks at a B.C. comic, and wonders, where's the joke? one should just look and see if there may be any religious meaning. Then again, maybe Hart is so bereft of ideas, being on the verge of senility, that he thinks stinky outhouses are funny. Tuesday, November 18, 2003 This is what's killing the music industry. Record labels are urging artists to put fewer tracks on albums because fans are put off by too many average songs, the Los Angeles Times has reported. I know when I see fewer songs offered for on one CD than another, that the shorter CD is the best value. Better yet, one really, really good song on a CD would be worth it. Unless that one song is filler, then my would go toward a blank CD. Monday, November 17, 2003 In this mess of a world, does anyone care that a private citizen's space ship is just about ready for its big flight? Monday, November 17, 2003 Feel guilty about all the MP3s you've stolen? Send them Back! Friday, November 14, 2003 "i think it sounds bad. it hurts my head like a hundred dogs." Thursday, November 13, 2003 Vinyl Orphanage, a Vinyl Rescue Mission. Wednesday, November 12, 2003 "Deliverance" Banjo Boy Found, Disses Burt Rynolds ÒBurt didnÕt want to say nothing to nobody,Ó Redden says now. ÒHe wasnÕt polite. And he made us look real badÑhe said on television that all people in Rabun County do is watch cars go by and spit.Ó Monday, November 10, 2003 The first on-line music delivery service was set up in 1909. Did it sound like crap? Hell, no. "As a matter of fact, the music, as reproduced over telephone lines by means of the Tel-musici apparatus, possesses a sweetness and an almost-human quality not hitherto to be found in any kind of mechanical music." Friday, November 7, 2003 ...but Flat Stanley gets total access to the White House. It looks like he has connections with Rove. < Friday, November 7, 2003 The WTF story of the day: Bush stops taking questions from congressional Democrats. The Bush White House, irritated by pesky questions from congressional Democrats about how the administration is using taxpayer money, has developed an efficient solution: It will not entertain any more questions from opposition lawmakers. So, if your representative is a member of the Democratic Party, too bad. Talk to Bush's hand, beeotch! Wednesday, October 29, 2003 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bush lied. Again. What else is new. But the thing is, he lied right in front of us, blatently, and had the Navy come out and say, "Uh, no sir, that wasn't our sign, that was put up by the White House." You know, "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED," on the ship, letting us know that the fighting in Iraq was at that moment behind us. Yesterday Bush does the CLINTONIAN thing where it depends on what the meaning of "is" is, and that he wasn't really saying the war was over, and that sign was the ship's sign, and it was up there just for the ship's people, saying that they're particular mission was over... Friday, October 24, 2003 Popeye was short and scrappy. He weighed just one hundred sixty pounds. He distinguished himself by clotheslining the brawniest brute aboard the steamer when the fellow stepped over his sea bag. I can imagine Popeye standing over the man, flushed with rage, sputtering nonsense. The bells were ringing, but there was no one in the engine room. He had all his hair then. And both eyes. The Previous Adventures of Popeye the Sailor Friday, October 24, 2003 Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia just can't stop thinking about gay sex. Wednesday, October 22, 2003 Stovepiping: It's not a new bong technique, but it has the same results. "It's as if you all had gone into a planetarium and the software for the sky show had gone bad and you were seeing the wrong sky, and you walked outside, and you looked up and you said, 'Hey, what’s going on. This isn’t right.'" Whoa... but first it's like you get all up like you're on meth and you just feel like going to war with the whole world, and then you get all disoriented like. By the way, people were confused about the Mummies post below. I was not being pissed at Johnny Fever, a fellow disk jockey, nor was I being pissed at anybody else. I was merely "aping" the atittude of the band The Mummies, the members of which dress as mummies, flip off people and use the word "fuck" a lot. Tuesday, October 21, 2003 Pitas Meltdown The folks who bring us the wonderful Pitas service have had computers blow up and stuff. So things haven't been working quite right at swag.pitas.com. But they say it's all fixed. A bunch of posts were lost, but thanks to Google, omnipotent God of the Internet, we got them back, and will just paste them right here: Friday, October 17, 2003 Things like this give me a strange sort of feeling, like I want to laugh and punch somebody at the same time. Friday, October 17, 2003 The Mummies were a stupid band. This is their stupid Website. You cared about them enough to get this far. Now you are stupid too. That's the Mummies' curse. The Mummies. If you think it's about Halloween, you're stupid. Stupid Johnny Fever who had a stupid show on WIDR sent me this link. You can't see it, but I'm flipping you off right now, and I am doing it as hard as I can. Tuesday, October 14, 2003 I know, you sent the letters, you called congress, you -- along with millions on the right and left -- let them know that they've got to stop the FCC from giving the public airwaves to a few corporations. It looked like we were winning. From here: Such indignation from the grass roots caused even the United States Senate to say "Whoa, something's going on Ñ people really care about this." And the Senate stopped the FCC in its tracks. There are enough votes to do the same in the House. Motherfuckers. Tuesday, October 14, 2003 Just because they're part of the axis of evil, doesn't mean North Korea should get all snippy with their cartoons. Monday, October 13, 2003 Poor, poor, Rush. Poor shy, kind, Rush, quietly dealing with his personal hell... Hmmm. Not that pill addiction is something to mock, something that one should gloat over, but this poor multimillionare has been a mean-ass, motherfucking son of a bitch every day on the radio for over a decade. Saturday, October 11, 2003 The Iraq WTF for the day: WASHINGTON -- Letters from hometown soldiers describing their successes rebuilding Iraq have been appearing in newspapers across the country as U.S. public opinion on the mission sours. Friday, October 10, 2003 Before you buy a new music CD or play one on your computer, read this. In summary, BMG wants to trick you into loading scumwear onto your Windows computer, and the scumwear company sues guy for million for telling people that to avoid this, hold down the shift key when loading CD. What you need to do is #1, don't buy any new major label CDs, and #2, get a Mac. Friday, October 10, 2003 I'm just not going to say anything about this. But any way you look at it, it will creep you out. Thursday, October 9, 2003 Oh, yeah, and another Bush/Letterman moment: The following day Letterman played a clip of something that happened on stage during a commercial break the day before. One of Letterman's staff (producer Maria Pope) went onto the stage and discussed something with Letterman, and while she was standing there in front of Bush, he leaned forward in his chair, grabbed the back of her sweater and used it to clean his glasses. Thursday, October 9, 2003 I read here about David Letterman last night mocking Jay Leno, and how Jay seems to be Arnold's best propaganda buddy. I start thinking, isn't Letterman starting to get edgy with the political humor? He's now doing the "George W. Bush Joke that Really Isn't a Joke." They show a clip of Dubya trying to be funny, and/or just fumbling around with the English language. Where'd Dave get that idea? Our President's problem with trying to be funny and wildly missing anything humorous? Then I remember this. I saw that show. I thought at the time, "This makes it official, this asshole is NOT going to be elected." Bush tries to get the funny out of Dave's recent heart surgery. Oh, god, it was painful. It's just one of those moments that shows Bush as just not being quite right. There's something wrong not only smarts-wise, but behavior-wise. Tuesday, October 7, 2003 www.widr.org is down. Word is it will be fixed soon. But if you need to hear SwaG!, or any other WIDR-FM's fine programming, hook up to the MP3 stream here: http://wakko.cs.wmich.edu:8000 You know the time, Wednesday 9 p.m. Eastern. And if you need some WIDR love, the WIDR forum is still there. Friday, October 3, 2003 "What do you want to be for Halloween this year?" "I wanna be Jimmy Osomond!" From the collection, "Things I Don't Think Have Ever Been Said." P.S. Again I'd like to say that the stories of the Osmonds being coffee abusers, or "bean fiends," during their world tours in the '70s are NOT TRUE! Thursday, October 2, 2003 Just in time to help with my sanity, new Get Your War On. Wednesday, October 1, 2003 Something that came in the mail today. I was going to play the Beatles tonight, but now, I don't know... Wednesday, October 1, 2003 Who's that mysterious pudgy balding man with the creepy grin? He's suddenly the hottest celeb on the red carpet! When the president boarded Air Force One at Andrews Air Force Base outside of Washington, he walked up the steps and waved — and not a single camera followed. He looked momentarily perplexed. All lenses were trained on Rove at the bottom of the steps. Wednesday, October 1, 2003 At least they didn't do "Springtime for Hitler." Tuesday, September 30, 2003 How about we call it Traitorgate? Monday, September 29, 2003 You know, when I see some stinky hippy with a scraggly goatee or shaggy dred beard, I think, you could so so much more. Monday, September 29, 2003 Shit. Fan. Splat! Wednesday, September 24, 2003 It's just about official, Bush-administration-source official: There were no WMDs in Iraq before the war. Tuesday, September 23, 2003 Sec. of State Powell said that sanctions on Iraq helped keep Saddam weak. He has not developed any significant capability with respect to weapons of mass destruction. He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbors. Powell said this in Feb. 2001. Aussie thinks this is a big story. Still awaiting US media comment. Tuesday, September 23, 2003 Our President just spewed out the same old crap to the UN. And he seems to be kept away from reality by his staff. There's a meltdown a comin'. Monday, September 22, 2003 The guy who's been working to give our airwaves to the corporations is getting tired. Maybe he should quit. Sunday, September 21, 2003 Not another political post, thank god... Thought provoking thread on "Why Music?" on Plastic. Why did Ook bang that funky beat on the log? Didn't that catch the attention of the cave bear and get him eaten? Didn't that make all the tribe's females think he was nuts and not get him laid? Thursday, September 18, 2003 Some of the greatest American art of the 20th century. Thursday, September 18, 2003 Also wrote one of the greatest TV themes, to "Hee Haw." "Heeeeeeee... Haaawwwww/He-he, he-haw, haw, haw." Wednesday, September 17, 2003 The General vs. the Texas Air National Guard deserter! I want to see that debate, and I know who the winner is going to be. Former Nader supporter supports Gen. Wesley. Wednesday, September 17, 2003 So I'm watching news on the Senate's thumbs-down on the new FCC deregulations that would allow all media to be owned by a few corporations, and FCC chairman Michael Powell is ranting about how this will hurt free TV, that the networks need to be strong, need to be able to afford the millions it take to make an episode of "Friends." You don't want them to not be able to give you "Friends," do you? I don't have the exact quote, but that's what he was saying, using the millions that go into "Friends" as an reason why we need to give up the last bit of public control over the media. You don't want free broadcast TV to die, do you? (even though cable companies have to carry local network affiliated tv stations, and make more money selling ads to viewers who are actually paying a monthly bill to see them...) The Republicans in the house are trying to block a vote on this, on behalf of Their President. But it might not work. More here. Tuesday, September 16, 2003 Ashcroft is on a tour telling us how we are winning the war on terror, and how we need new ways of dealing out justice to really win the war on terror. Here's a nice account of one of Herr Ashcroft's stirring rallies. Tuesday, September 16, 2003 The Senate voted 55 to 40 today to wipe out all of the Federal Communication Commission's controversial new media rules, employing a little used legislative tool for overturning agency regulations. Two to go. The House might not be easy. And you know who says he'll veto anything that keeps a few corporations from owning the airwaves. Monday, September 15, 2003 You knew it would come to this. Do we have to spell it out? Friday, September 12, 2003 Who'll sacrifice what? Friday, September 12, 2003 Thursday, September 11, 2003 So, two years ago... you know the rest. And bin Laden's still hanging out in the mountains somewhere. But Donald Rumsfeld is on the case! JIM LEHRER: It must be awfully galling to you though to think that this guy might be alive out there somewhere. The least this weasel could do is say, "Yeah, Jim, but we're working hard to get that motherfucker's head delivered on a plate to the American people." Oh, goodness, we are making so much progress, he says through the rest of the interview, while at the same time saying that there is only so much we can do. This is in Iraq, of course, which, you know, it's all 9/11, Saddam Hussein, terrorists, protect our freedom, 9/11, Saddam Hussein, terrorists, protect our shores... No one said this was going to be easy, this war on evil. Some might have said we could deal with Iraq, no problem... DONALD RUMSFELD: Some people, as I say, did leave the impression that their view was that. My view was I didn't know. And I didn't ever give optimistic suggestions because I knew I didn't know. This recalls one of Rumsfeld's greatest poems: The Unknown Some might say we'll never get bin Laden, never get Hussain, never get all the terrorists. But we can see that, as a poet, Rumsfeld is sensitive to this grasping futility: Glass Box Thursday, September 11, 2003 Just played Shooby on this evening's SwaG!. If you don't know it, go read his story. The cool thing is for his last year on this rock he found out that people have been digging his loopy vocals. Wednesday, September 10, 2003 OH MY CRAP!!! Look at all the SwaG!items you can buy. Now including new stickers, not like the shity ones that peel and fade that Mr. Guano made himself. Wednesday, September 10, 2003 Wednesday, September 10, 2003 A 9/11 widow reviews "DC 9/11: Time of Crisis": Bush is a man of action; in fact, he is an action hero. Except, of course, when it really counts, like in those early morning hours when this country was under attack and our Commander in Chief was drinking milk and eating cookies with second graders. Can you imagine one of those second-graders years from now when they are asked where they were on the morning of 9/11? They will simply say, "I was sitting with the President reading him a story." Friday, September 5, 2003 We're revitalizing our Cafe Press Bat Guano's SwaG! store of crap. It's all quite expensive, but Mr. Guano is not marking up anything, so no profit for him. All he wants is for you to wear the Guano Brand and be a walking billboard for him. You would do that for Mr. Guano, right? We've added a new product, the Private Guano Support Our Troops Military Teddy Bear. Cafe Press is sending a donation to National Military Fam ily Association with each bear sold.. Thursday, September 4, 2003 "Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens." --Britney Spears I heard she likes to kiss girls. Heh-heh, heh. Thursday, September 4, 2003 These people kick ass. "Low power" radio? If they're so low power, how did they manage to stop the FCC? Stay on Ownership Rules GRANTED! Wednesday, September 3, 2003 They're creepy and they're kooky, Tuesday, September 2, 2003 The SwaG! Store is now open. Amazon links!?! I know, it's kind of cheezee, but how else can I cash in on SwaG! listener's unique tastes in music? All links will contribute to the SwaG! fund, which will go into more music for you to hear on SwaG! All these will be CDs, and other things, that Mr. Guano, host of SwaG!, either has, or would buy if he had the money. Here's the first: Larger Than Life (Soundtrack), the only known CD with the creepiest country and western song in the universe, Jack Kittle's "Psycho." I can't vouch for the rest of the CD, since it is the soundtrack to a movie featuring Bill Murray and an elephant. Saturday, August 30, 2003 There's this old Upright Citizens Brigade sketch about an emotionally disturbed kid who would cheerfully tell everyone to "shut up!" over and over, until adults wanted to hit him. It was funny... I guess you'd have to see it. Friday, August 29, 2003 Here's a nice major paper story on Wesley Willis. You know, some 100 year old comedian dies, and everybody's talking about it; two MTV ho's kiss on TV, and everybody's talking about it... Winterbottom says that when Willis called her in December to tell her he'd been diagnosed, he asked, " 'You don't want this rock star to perish, do you?' And I said, 'No, Wesley, I want you to live more than anything.' . . . He said, 'You want a healthy Wesley, right?' I said, 'Yeah, Wes, I want a healthy Wesley.' And then there was a big pause and he said, 'If I die, it'll be in the news.' I said, 'Yeah, Wes, you're not kidding.'" Wednesday, August 27, 2003 Wednesday, August 27, 2003 Our President, George W. Bush, disrespects The Flag, breaks campaign laws, calls his wife "the lump in the bed next to me," then has Karl Rove repair the damage. It's all okay, Laura says. "All the things that might've irritated me, like not hanging up his towels, I don't have to worry about anymore," Laura Bush said. "Someone in the White House hangs up the towels." Wednesday, August 27, 2003 Where does this nauseating tidal wave of smut and garbage come from? Well, you won't find out from the "Sex O'Clock News," but it is no secret that certain foreign powers would like nothing better than to see our country paralyzed and prostrated by a degenerate Supreme Court that sanctions petting sprees and free love as "freedom of choice" and "harmless kicks." While America rots from within, all the Russkies would have to do is rumble through Washington in tanks with those long, nasty things on top and pick up the pieces. Her youth "brainwashed" by so-called "liberated" codes of behavior, a mighty nation would be vanquished, laid low by deep kissing and petting parties. From Doug Kenney's Nancy Reagan's Guide to Dating, from the 1971 National Lampoon, pornography issue. Just thinkin' 'bout Animal House. Wednesday, August 27, 2003 Ahh... a blank slate. Everything so clean. All the bitterness and loathing that'd been swirling around my brain -- where'd it go? It's like it never was. Oh, there it is. |
