Sunny-Go-Happy-Moo

I just remembered something that I think is worth making a diary entry of (I know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a proposition (I also know that one's not supposed to say "you're" when making such statements as the previously parenthetical one (or should I say lesser parenthetical? (yes, rhetoric)))). In December I paid the quarterly bill for the Sun-Times (we get it because it has better crosswords that the Trib) and the statement was from some arbitrary date in the past through 2/23. When we came back from vacation there was a new bill, the statement of which was dated 2/15 through some arbitrary date in the future. I remembered 2/23 since we were likely to move by 3/1, figuring we could survive five days without the paper. So beware news-seekers, you are under a perpetually immediate threat of imminent overcharging from the hands of evidently wrong-doing people. I'd not have noticed it if we weren't up with our lease, every bill from them I'm sure has been the same. It's a fully steaming crock of holstein manure, ain't it though? I don't want to have to cross reference billing statements when going through the extremely satisfying monthly ritual of making our home right with the world. I could probably check past statements and find double charging enough to get a year's worth of papers free, but then I wouldn't have the satisfaction of making our home right with the world! I also suppose that my over-adjectification of everything is akin to the Sun-Times's DoppelCharge, as is my over-adverbilization. I can't help it, I think of adverbs as an endangered species. How can I help feeling that way? I subscribe to the Sun-Times!
Thursday, February 7, 2002
09:20 a.m.
by: adam douglas payne