Are You a Cannibal?

I've had some time to think recently, and this is what I've come up with: Vegetarians are Cannibals. Vegetables, while always being rich in happy nutrients and all, have not been eaten regularly by hu-mans very log, no? They're disgusting is why - and I don't mean in taste. I mean in origin. A pig is born and live on the ground, eating and crapping and growing like we do. We eat the pig. There are many that consider this act barbaric and disgusting. It is not only natural, it is also the cleanest form of consumption we have. Vegetables, on the other hand, grow from the dirt, from the earth, from the bowels. A large percentage of this world's soil is made up of human remains and feces and garbage. We bury our dead in the ground and eat the oranges that grow off the tree that grows from that same ground! Appaling! Vegetarians then, are simply closet-headhunters. They revel in eating their own great-grandmother, every time they scoop that spoonful of hot steaming broccoli to their gullets. It certainly explains the flatulent aftermath. So, in conclusion of this essay - in teh grand scheme of pyramadic huma norigin and classification, carnivores are clean of the soul and herbivores are one step closer to the ultimate barbary: CANNIBALISM. Much of our pop culture has this backwards (by pop culture I mean the nightly news more than anything). Being an omnivore, I keep my ancestor consumption in healthy check by swallowing clean fresh unsoiled pig meat and cow meat and chicken meat and fish meat. We're all a bunch of wild animals in starched shirts, but thank goodness I'm not one of those dirty vegetarians!
Thursday, June 13, 2002
10:15 a.m.
by: adam douglas payne