Riot Poof
(Tori Amos)
Monday, June 10, 2002
02:28 p.m.
you know what you know so you go break the terror of the urban spell
Jessica and I have been on vacation for a whole week now. Last Monday, we left Albuquerque on a Greyhound bus. After stops in Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, and Iowa, we ended up at the little St. Paul station. We've been having tons of fun with Jessica's family since. We're staying in David and Jess' old apartment in the basement, which has been fixed up and is really nice.
you say "i'm on the threshold of greatness girl" so you burn your pagoda
This past weekend, Jessica and Jenny and I went on a roadtrip to Madison. We visited Masha, Caity, and Sara and ran into my ex, Jo. Madison is pretty much the same, except the shop where I wanted to get a nose ring was gone. We wandered around State St. and campus and I got to show Jess where my roots are. (or some of them anyway...) It was wonderful to see everyone again, I'm so glad we got to go.
you know what you know so you go chain her to your flow
I haven't heard back from my schools yet so I'm going to contact them. Hans, Jessica's dad, took us to the University of Minnesota to look around at the campus and visit the art museum (it was grand). We stopped by admissions and they had received my application and will send me an answer in 6-8 weeks.
going to the movie show in a bath of glitter and a tiny shiver
Before we left, Dina was awesome and gave me and Jess for working on the yard and moving furniture at the UNM Hillel. I looked at the Hillel at UM and was shocked at how big it is, but when we went back to Madison, I was pleasantly reminded that UW's is, in fact, even larger. I'm hoping the Hillel at UW-Seattle is cool. I love the little Hillel at UNM, it's so cozy and Dina is the best director ever.
crawls through your lava sea black sahara i'm stepping into your space oddity
I finished the fourth Earth's Children book a few days ago and I am about halfway through with the most recent one, Shelters of Stone. I went to the books' website and there tends to be a 5-10 year wait between the books. The back of Shelters of Stone says there will be one final book in the series, but if Jean Auel follows trends, it won't be out for years, at which point I will have lost interest in the series. After this, I think I will read a book Dina recommended, called The Source.
will all find its way in time blossom riot poof the sun is warming
Well, Jess is watching Real World Theater without her glasses and I'm really hungry, so I think I'm going to go find some food and Jessica's glasses.
She's Your Cocaine
(Tori Amos)
Sunday, May 19, 2002
04:25 p.m.
She's your Cocaine, She's got you shaving your legs
I just got back from seeing Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. It was so awesome! I loved how there was a love story incorporated, even though Anakin Skywalker is just as annoying as he was in Episode I. I went with my brother and sister and we had fun relating all the different movies to each other. I loved Amidala's dresses, especially the one she was wearing when she and Anakin are out in the meadow. The movie rocked. A good mix of mush and action.
you can suck anything, but you know you wanna be me
I went to the doctor a few days ago, as I said I would. It wasn't that bad, because there was hardly anybody there. It turns out I have tonsilitis (but not bad enough for a tonsilectomy, apparently) and an ear infection. I got Dr. Zah, whom I really do dislike. Fortunately, she was really nice and even said she hoped I'd feel better! So, after another few hours in the pharmacy, I took the bus home and crawled into bed.
put on your make-up boy, you're your favorite stranger
Being sick is really annoying, but Jessica has been bringing me Gatorade and doting on me, which is especially nice. It's also given me more time to read; I'm now reading the third book of the Earth's Children series: The Mammoth Hunters. I finished Clan of the Cave Bear and The Valley of the Horses earlier this week. The second book was full of straight softcore porn. Blechhh! Oh, since it's the weekend, we made a few long distance calls and spoke to Dorm Julie & Eleanor in Washington and Becky & Sarah out in California.
and we all like to watch, So shimmy once and do it again
Jessica and I are going up to Saint Paul in two weeks. I need to get 8.00 quickly so I can take the bus up there. Imagine that- the two of us on the Greyhound going all the way up to Minnesota! I'm going to ask Mama for money tonight and tell her I'll help her out by donating plasma as well and giving her the money from that.
Stars
(Les Misérables)
Thursday, May 16, 2002
02:10 p.m.
Stars in your multitudes Scarce to be counted
This week I have been really dizzy and tired and my throat hurts. I should go to the doctor today, but I go to PHS, the Indian Hospital. See, at PHS, you have to wait forever and it's really boring. Jessica goes to Presbyterian, which has a TV and comfy chairs. I just really hate waiting for the doctor and then waiting in the pharmacy. It's a pain.
Filling the darkness, With order and light
I am almost finished with Yours in Struggle, the book that Dina leant me. Right now I'm reading an argument called "Feminist vs. Feminist; Semite vs. Semite," which is really good. I wish I had read these books a long time ago. I'll start the last book, The Tribe of Dina, later today.
You are the sentinels, Silent and sure
I finished Clan of the Cave Bear. I have two of the other books checked out, but I'm still waiting for the second one to arrive at my library. Right now, it's in transit. I also got a small stack of Ursula LeGuin's Earthsea books, which Marianne recommended.
Keeping watch in the night, Keeping watch in the night
The Clompies are making a ruckus upstairs. Lately, there have been several men doing construction on our building. They leave their tools on our porch, it's kind of annoying. Argh! I really do not want to go to the doctor.
Do You Hear the People Sing?
(Les Misérables)
Monday, May 13, 2002
04:40 p.m.
Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men
I went on a few errands today, downtown. I wandered around looking for a job on Gold and Sixth, but the only place that was hiring was the Teriyaki Grille. I may go back there if I don't find something at Montgomery Plaza tomorrow. I also went to the library and checked out the first book of the Earth's Children series by Jean Auel. So far, it reads like a sidebar in an Intro to Bio-Anthro text. Finally, I mailed the pack of Nields bootlegs to a girl in CA.
It is the music of a people Who will not be slaves again!
I've been reading Dina and Hadar's books. I finished Nice Jewish Girls yesterday. I had no idea that Adrienne Rich was half-Jewish. I'm inclined to hate her because she really annoys me. Even Sylvia Plath was irritated by her. Now I'm reading a book on anti-Semitism and racism, called Yours in Struggle. I really like it so far, it's compelling. It really saddens me, the way the intifada still hasn't ended. I wish the death would stop. I want to do something more concrete, like make aliyah but I don't know how to go about doing it and I'm not sure what exactly that would accomplish anyway.
When the beating of your heart Echoes the beating of the drums
I'm listening to Les Misérables, which is my favorite musical. I want to read the book again. The bishop and Jean Valjean really impress me. They make me want to be a martyr. I'm even impressed by Javert. The only character I don't really find impressive or amusing is Cosette. I don't realy like Marius either, but he's an activist and he's dedicated to France, so he has some merit. Cosette is just plain boring. Eponine is much cooler.
There is a life about to start When tomorrow comes!
Speaking of musicals- Jessica and I have this awesome idea. We want to do a musical about the butch/femme scene in 50s, with the police as the antagonists. There'd be a lot of singing and dancing. We'd be wonderful at writing the libretto, it's the music itself that's the problem. Jess and I have been having a lot of fun lately, hanging out with people and getting out more. I'm happier.
Now
(Catie Curtis)
Saturday, May 11, 2002
10:19 p.m.
And now that you've done everything you could To make me lose my faith in you
Well, the lesbian potluck at Hadar and Dina's house was wonderful. Everyone was there, we had fabulous food and a bonfire. I talked to Dina and Hadar for a long time and they lent me books about being queer and Jewish. I really loved being there, eating and listening to everyone. I miss community. I don't know what my community is; I am trying to find where I belong.
You say, "Come on, believe me"
I want to be loved and accepted, but at the same time, I want my independence. I want to run around and do my own thing, read my own books, study my own world, and be able to come home and be held and loved. I feel like I don't have a home. At Daddy and Nanny's, I feel wrong, because I am a woman of color, because I'm queer, because I'm not like them. Here in New Mexico, with Mama's family, I feel inadequate because I can never understand their culture because I am not Catholic. My own life is such an intricate complex of experiences and emotions that I am too afraid to open up completely and as a result, I can't get close to people the way I want to.
Now that you've done everything you could To make me lose my desire for you
I have these overly intimate friendships, where I can share the physical details of my life, the empirical memories, the experiences I have wandered through, but I can't express how I feel. I can't find the words to tell my psychiatrists how I don't really have a religion and I'm afraid that I don't belong in anyone's culture.
You say "Please don't leave me"
The truths I know are the emotions that stir me awake at night, fear, abandonment, love.
Fly With Me
(Pale 3, feat. Franka Potente)
Wednesday, May 8, 2002
11:04 a.m.
you say you're my hero, you say you're my hope
The dinner party went pretty well. I made fettucine and Jessica brought home a wonderful salad and garlic bread from the Italian deli down the street. Amber told a lot of crazy stories about her family and her girlfriend, Dot, told us about fishing and being a ranch hand. Dot can knock out a horse with her fist and she can skin a fish when it's still alive. Yeah. She's hardcore like that. It was a little intimidating. However, the dinner was successful and now I'm thinking of having Whitney and Tracie over.
you say i'm your princess, your empress, your dope
So, last night, in the middle of a riveting game of Sims, Haven's monitor died! It's an HP-M70, 17 inch screen, very classy. It's also only 2 months past the 2-year warranty. Now the screen is just completely black. I tried connecting and reconnecting both the power and the serial cables, to no avail. So, I connected my old computer's monitor to Haven's CPU. It's a teenie weenie monitor, but the color's good. It's just as good, just bitty. I'm hoping my mom will swing repairs or something on the big monitor though. It's really frustrating, because in no way can I afford repair or a new monitor.
I say I am worried, I say you might lie, and if you don't trust me, there's nowhere to fly
Apparently, the woman at the Italian deli is looking for part-time help during the lunch hour. Jessica told her about me and so I'm going there after lunch to offer her my services. It's only 10-25 hours a week, but that's something. It's only a 5 minute walk from home, so that's a plus, and I could sleep in and come home before Buffy on Tuesdays. So, that's the hope for today, that this will possibly work out.
Ladies of the Canyon
(Joni Mitchell)
Monday, May 6, 2002
04:49 p.m.
Estella circus girl, Comes wrapped in songs and gypsy shawls
It's summer, it's hot and my feet burn when I run barefoot to the mailbox. To kick off the season, Jessica and I are having another couple over for dinner: Amber and Dot. We don't know them very well; Amber is in Jessia's Lesbian Politics and Culture Class. I met her briefly at the Lesbian Love Coffeehouse, where she read some Wiccan poems. They arrive in an hour or so. I hope everything goes well. We're having a light vegetarian dinner, despite my misgivings that we are dramatically underfeeding them.
Songs like tiny hammers hurled At bevelled mirrors in empty halls
Last Friday, Jessica and I celebrated our one-year anniversary. She lead me on a treasure hunt around the University district which ultimately led to a romantic picnic at the duck pond. It was lovely, with a flower and a clue at every stop. I made her a huge batch of pink, heart-shaped sugar cookies, which she and Luka devoured in less than 2 days.
Empty halls and bevelled mirrors, Sailing seas and climbing banyans
I'm still waiting for my letter from the University of Washington and I'm slowly gathering my things for the University of New Mexico, if the need arises. I need to go to the Social Security Office tomorrow, but I'm afraid it will be full of boring lines. I need a printout to verify that my social security number is indeed mine.
Come out for a visit here, To be a lady of the canyon
I called Melanie the other night, which was fabulous. The cell phone plan we have has unlimited long distance on weekends, so I've been calling Mel, Tierza & Erin, and Becky & Sarah. It's great to hear everyone's voices and know they're real. It gets hard, living in New Mexico. I plan to make tons of friends this summer. I'm starting tonight, with this dinner party, which I'd better go prepare for.
