let me recommend that you think twice
i always give the best advice
Saturday, May 29, 2004
04:04 p.m.

Here I am at the May USSA Board Meeting. We are in Boulder, Colorado. I love being here; the air is cleaner and seeing the mountains as we neared the city was amazing. Yesterday was long and intense. Today there is still tension, but also laughter. I braided Becky's hair and stayed up late giggling with Sharon. Our hotel is kind of odd- all the room numbers, regardless of which floor they are on, start with "2." The food at this meeting is great- all our meals are provided, as well as snacks. It's bougie food too- little bottles of Odwalla juice and ginormous cookies. This is my favorite board meeting so far- and not just because of the posh Neutrogena shampoo at the hotel.

Here I am, in an organizing space, in an organizing context, with all these amazing organizers. I always say, weeks into a campaign, the day after an action, after a particulary emotional meeting, that I will quit organizing, quit activism, and retreat into academia. As much as I'd love that, I know at this point that will never happen. There is too much I am passionate about and too much I cannot allow myself to turn my back on.

Then, of course, there is the difficulty of falling asleep in hotel beds and rushed phone calls home to the GF. When I'm travelling, we never have comprehensive conversations- they're usually interrupted by lack of privacy or exhaustion. I miss her. I miss her so much and sometimes, I am so tired from meetings/workshops/conferences/airports that I can't even get the energy to explain the drama that occured. I used to say I would never be with someone who wasn't committed to organizing on social justice. Then, I said I never wanted to be with another organizer because of the constant drama and crazy schedules. At this point, I am with someone I love. That's what ultimately matters, love, not coordinated organizing schedules. Isn't that cheesy?

Board meetings may be long, but at least JK is here to play Sims after we recess for the day.

you're getting close, shamus!
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
03:17 a.m.

Somewhat miraculously, I hung up nearly all my posters before my friend Eric came over. He and I have never really spent time together in the daylight. I've also never seen any of his places of residence. He is not, however, my secret boyfriend- though he might have one of his own. We do the order food-watch a movie-gossip thing. Tonight we started off with a rousing hour of Colonial House on PBS. Eric appeared to enjoy laughing at the poor suburbanites-cum-colonists as much as I do. Then, we watched Whale Rider, ordered Big Mike's, and finished off the night with a rousing hour of online Carmen Sandiego games.

Carmen Sandiego is apparently alive and well. The Chief looks the same and Carmen's still stealing things like the Golden Gate Bridge and the polar ice caps. With GREs looming ahead in the months to come, Carmen's math games provided an entertaining study session. The company that makes the Carmen Sandiego games is selling all their titles (on CD no less!) for a mere 9.99 a piece. Eric and I plan on investing in a game or two.

Now, however, it's off to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. I need to get my new ID, pick up my hotel voucher, spend a few hours at work, and do some laundry. Then there's the ugly chore of calling home to ask for money for my trip. Ew.

summertime and the livin's easy
Monday, May 17, 2004
08:37 p.m.

Outside, it is storming. The wind whips between the high-rise apartment buildings and I can hear the hail clicking on my window panes. I love thunderstorms, they make me feel safe and cozy inside. I love to watch the rain fall and to see people scurrying to and fro. Last summer, I sat on the porch writing in my journal during a rainstorm. The men across the street stripped and streaked up and down the street. Luckily, I don't think that happens so frequently downtown.

Fatima and I live on the fifth floor of a student-filled high rise. At the moment however, I live here with Fatima's stuff and one of the previous tenants, who has still not taken her leave. Of course, there are no pots, pans, plates, cups, or silverware. I did the dishes yesterday, but they were so dirty that I will have to handwash them as well.

I leave for Washington DC the day after tomorrow. I called Manish and he'll be entertaining me for a few days. Apparently, he shares my disturbing fascination with the Holocaust and we'll be perusing the museum for many an hour. We also want to go to the Spy Museum. Manish is applying for a position here in Madison- if he gets it, we're going to be hanging out at Laundry 101 and eating lots of pasta.

I really miss the GF.

Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
06:29 a.m.

When it is so "late" that the sun is rising and ducks are waddling on the lawn, it is crucial to put off studying and sleep by listening to midi files of Beatles songs whilst singing their German lyrics.

I’ll give you all I’ve got to give
If you say you love me too
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
05:59 a.m.

Days of studying getting us down, the GF and I spent last night kicking it with everyone's favorite council member, coming out, gossping, and looking for sublets. Actually, I signed my sub-lease yesterday (today? I still haven't gone to bed...) with Fatima. We're spending the summer in our fabulous Indian apartment on West Gorham. I plan on constructing some authentic student bookcases from cement bricks and boards.

Class only ended on Friday, but Finals Week is already a blur of Vientiane, the Red Gym, and near-overdoses on American Indian History. Last Thursday, the Brown People (+ Renée the SuperAlly) said good-bye to the best professor of the best class ever. We all hung around for a while consoling each other over the prospect of Tuesdays and Thursdays without compelling power lectures, the nauseating document camera, and anecdotes about baseball.

Thai iced tea, as any well bred college student knows, is the key for making it through finals. Not being as resourceful as one Furby Lo, I spent two nights running at Vientiane. Vientiane is at the top of my list, not only because of curry squash (no eggplant!), pad lao, and thai iced tea, but because they have an enormous bathroom. The WC at Vientiane is vying for "Prettiest Smelling" in the restaurant restroom awards. Not only does it have a giant aerosol of orange-scented stuff, but it has several, not-very-strategically-placed 25 cent air fresheners in a variety of economic scents AND a plug-in air freshener shaped like a carrot filled with (carrot scented??) oil. Oh yeah. Squash, noodles, tea and a guaranteed asthma attack if you have to pee? What else could you ever want?

Oh yeah- videos. Vientiane is next door to Four Star Video, whose Foreign Film section is larger than that of Drama or Comedy. Over the course of my life, I've probably paid them at least $200 of late fees, but for the amount of hard-to-find films I rent, it's definitely worth it. There's little better than digesting greasy Lao-Thai (nearly always followed by a hearty bowl of Cold Stone ice cream)while lying flat on your belly with the woman you love, all while watching Made For TV movies about NDN activists. (How's that for a run-on sentence?)

So, compadres, I'm off to bed. Despite all that talk of food, ice cream, and movies, there is really nothing that beats finding your 7:25 exam takes place PM and not AM.

I said you don't need my voice girl
you have your own
Saturday, May 1, 2004
03:57 p.m.

Yet another holiday, this time May 1, and I'm not at home in New Mexico. I'm at home in Wisconsin. The GF is curled up on the bed, her blue eye mask protecting her from the sunlight. We've been cleaning our room. This is a major endeavor- for the first time in about 2 months, we remembered there was once a carpet, a floor, in here. Wow. Each item of clothing is being sorted into laundry piles, hangers, drawers, and garbages bags for donation. Our books, DVDS, videos, and CDs are being carefully alphabetized and our three computers, TV, VCR, DVD player are finally in working order. Hardly anything makes me happier than organizing. Not organizing in the political sense, but more of the Martha Stewarty sort. Yesterday, I picked up our weekly flowers- pinky orange tulips this time- and put them in the window. Vigil candles make great, though sacreligious, vases.

The March for Women's Lives is over, my buses come and gone, my marchers home safe and sound. The past week since our return has felt empty. I don't really know what to do, I can no longer find the odd guilt feeling of "I should be selling tickets now, I should be selling tickets now." The trip was amazing. I loved every single one of my bus riders, loved meeting the other bus route organizers (especially Pennsylvania's Erica Dhawan), and most of all loved the midnight shower, sans shampoo, in Portia's apartment. Sometimes, a shower is all you need.

The GF and I ventured out to kick it with my old roommates, Karey and Burton. We went to a carnival and ate funnel cake and introduced the GF to the horrors of bad lesbian films with If These Walls Could Talk 2. I missed them so much and being able to spend time with them again was such a blessing.

I have so much to say, but right now, I think I am going to wake the GF and finish cleaning the abyss we call home.