dreamed a little dream
made my own pretty hate machine
Friday, March 19, 2004
11:01 p.m.

Spring must be on its way. Outside, the wind is blowing and I'm praying for a thunderstorm. The last one I clearly remember was the weekend of the UC Women's Leadership Conference. I stood up by one of the mounds in the rain, praying and dirtying brown corduroys. I am now subsequently terrified of said mound, avoiding it at nearly all possible costs; it gives me a bad feeling. At any rate, spring is coming. I am not basing this on last month's groundhog, but instead upon the ginormous ladybug that just walked up my curtain.

Spring Break needs some vestige of the season. After all, it can't allow itself to be remembered by that Milwaukee snowstorm or my winter coat's continued presence in my wardrobe. Last year, it warmed up enough for me to march about Madison sans-coat to protest the war. This year, Wisconsin weather had me shivering in my hotel room, Baghdad coverage the soundtrack to the falling snow.

I finished the Hoxie book for Ned's class; I loved it so much that I am going to write him an e-mail begging for a summer research sponsorship to investigate Indian Policy in Isleta. I need to do summer research in addition to my internship in order to fulfill the requirements of my McNair scholarship.

I enjoy living in one room. I do not, however, enjoy roommates. This is not to say that I have anything in particular against Adrienne, Caitlin, or Masha. Living with one's significant other doesn't really pose much of a challenge for me, but I hate platonic roommates. I need my own space to idly watch television, read, write letters, and do all those other things that require solitude. This summer, I'll have a roommate again. Yuck.

I have spent most of the hours of my spring break alone. As loquacious as I am, I adore this time alone. The prospect of the coming weeks in crowded classrooms, Madison sidewalks, and buses to Washington horrifies me. All I really want to do is languish in the bathtub and read tribal histories. I really liked that Hoxie book. I'm an Indian history nerd.

I'm dreaming again
Like I've always been
And way down low
I'm thinkin' of the prettiest thi
Friday, March 19, 2004
06:48 p.m.

Less than a week until LegCon and my room looks like a USSA monster vomited bright orange postcards all over my room. I'm not particularly thrilled about missing a timely celebration of six months with the GF, but who can complain about spring in DC with Pinky, Jessie, and Daniel? According to my mentor, the cherry blossoms are beginning to open and there's no way in hell it won't be warmer than Madison.

I went to Milwaukee for a few days for work and there was a SNOWSTORM. Despite the bad weather, I emerged with a bottle of Jo'ie D.'s favorite wine as she couldn't haul it around in her little rolly suitcase anymore. Jo'ie has gotten me addicted to America's Next Top Model. She and I spent a lot of time lying around the Best Western watching TV and talking shit.

I got a DC internship for the summer, so I'll be living it up business casual style for a few months. Dr. Hyland and I are going shopping for skirts and shirts next week. She has placed a heavy emphasis on new shoes. Shockingly enough, it is not kosher to wear Chacos to power internships in DC. Dr. Hyland took me out for our traditional Sa Bai Thong tonight, complete with my usual rants about UW. She has an eye infection but that didn't stop us from staying for our favorite coconut custard/sticky rice dessert.

The march is a little over 1 month. As much as my job makes me cry, I love talking to people and tailoring our message to different groups. I hate the money aspect. No one I know has any and fundraising SUCKS. My cell phone ran out of minutes and I think Manish forgot my check-in this week. Weird.

The best product ever invented in the history of the world is Aveeno Stress Relieving Foaming Bath. I love it. A close second is Johnson & Johnson Bedtime Baby Bath. The only way to get through life is frequent baths. When I grow up, I am going to have a huge deep bathtub in which I can stretch out all the way. Adding to the pleasure of bathtime are waterproof vibrators. Relaxation is key.

So, I'm stressed but fully-bathed and in less than a week, I get my favorite pink sweater back from Pinky. When your jobs make you freak out, you should keep in mind that panicking won't change anything. Just keeping selling bus tickets and remember to e-mail Sadie asking for a .pdf of the letterhead.

and if you're this this this full of bitterness now
some day it will just fill you
Tuesday, March 9, 2004
11:45 p.m.

I just ate a really really sour grape. Gross. I'm in College Library pretending to write a draft of my American Indian literature paper because if I try to write it at home, I'll end up watching ER. Ever since I got my Ritalin, I've loved school and get really into whatever we're learning, especially in Ned's history class. It's the first power lecture I've had where I never have to look at the clock.

Last weekend was the United Council Building Unity Conference at UW-Milwaukee. Manish flew to Wisconsin so we could present a trio of workshops on reproductive rights. Fatima and I also did our "2 NDN Women" workshop again. It was a long, exhausting weekend that ended with me and Manish collapsing and sleeping for most of Monday. I didn't get to attend any actual workshops myself, but seeing Brenda was definitely worth the trip in itself.

Manish hung around until today, when he departed for Iowa with a suitcase of classy clothes and Aveda supplies. I have my March Prep on Thursday and needless to say, have not advertised to my full potential due to illness, school work, and other involvements. I have the highest number of online ticket sales but haven't done nearly as well in offline sales. At this point, I am excited for the march but equally excited for the end of the march. Don't tell.

In other news, I got The Position. I'm going to be an LGBT Housing Liaison next year with John Powers. John and I were going to be co-Course Assistants for Joe Elder's LGBT 200 class this semester but I ended up dropping out to spend more time organizing and doing my own homework. I'm glad I did too because many of my friends are still CAs so I see their students' synthesis reports. They are bad. I still help out with designing their assignments, but lordisa, I could not deal with that many idiots. (I am not very diplomatic.) So, now I have The Position, which I feared I would never be hired for (I was rejected last year). It's kind of ironic because usually, one works as an LGBT liaison, then moves on to the campus center and then becomes politically active on campus. I'm doing the opposite.

Speaking of political activity- LegCon is coming up. Sometimes, I want to quit tabling for postcards, quit sitting in on conference calls, quit sitting on useless committees, and quit dong anything except cuddling and watching ER.

I'm a little bitter today.