3:29pm, Sunday, March 18, 2001
So yeah, updating on a Sunday. Basically because I never said 'bye' on Friday. Don't worry, I'm not going away on a permanent basis, but I've got a week (and a day)'s leave during which I'm going to London to meet up with Loria, come back to York, go to Consett to go to Duncan and Vicki's wedding, and then go back to York where Loria and her friends are going to spend a day doing all the touristy things with me. Which is cool. So hope you're all well and have a lovely week without me....
10:54am, Friday, March 16, 2001
It's Red Nose Day! And if you're a Harry Potter fan, J K Rowling has donated two signed copies of her books 'Quidditch through the Ages' and 'Fantastic Beasts and where to find them', so go visit the site to find out more!
9:20am, Friday, March 16, 2001
I want to tell you all that Tricia is one of the most wonderful people in the world! She's hosting a megabook for me here, so you can now leave me private messages and everything!
I've got to finish all my work today as I'm on leave next week, so I might not get time to do anything exciting with it till after I get back, but in the meantime - it's there! Go sign!!!!!
1:01pm, Thursday, March 15, 2001
What a horrible, needless waste.
I want to rant about this, but what's left to say? I've lost a lot of weight in a little less than a year. Not deliberately, but because I gave up dairy products. I'm now probably a little less than average weight for my height. And still when I look at myself in the mirror I see someone that's big compared to the women I see on TV, in magazines. The women who are held up as an example of beauty. I look at my stomach and think there's too much fat on it. I worry about the fact my breasts are unequal. And for what? I know, logically, that I'm beautiful. I know that Paul finds me extremely attractive. But I don't yet completely believe it with all my heart. And Jenn thinks she's too big. And Kristi thinks she's let herself go. Girls. We don't need to put ourselves through this. WE'RE TOO GOOD TO CONFORM TO THEIR RULES.
If we listen to them. If we give in to the propaganda. If we think less of ourselves. THEN WE ARE PUTTING THE SAME PRESSURE ON OTHER WOMEN.
We've got to fight this, else women can never be truly equal. Unless we start to harm men by putting this same pressure on them. And that would be bad. We've got to bring ourselves up, treat ourselves like the Goddesses we are, not drag men down with us.
12:57pm, Thursday, March 15, 2001
But this is just bizarre!
12:56pm, Thursday, March 15, 2001
This is interesting.
12:26pm, Thursday, March 15, 2001
I'm on the A Word A Day mailing list at wordsmith.org. I just got today's email. They always have a quote at the end and todays is:
I have learned through bitter experience the one supreme lesson to conserve my anger, and as heat conserved is transmitted into energy, even so our anger controlled can be transmitted into a power that can move the world.
-Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
It was just what I needed. Maybe there is some kind of meaning to life after all.
12:00pm, Thursday, March 15, 2001
I knew there was something I forgot to write in my journal entry. I mentioned I had a secret two days ago, and so far noone's asked what it is. That's one of the reasons I wonder if anyone's reading this.
Not that I'm necessarily going to tell anyone who asks (I might, but then I might not!), but... it seems that if anyone else says that, people want to know what it is. And yeah, I've felt left out all my life, and I feel it again now.
12:00pm, Thursday, March 15, 2001
I knew there was something I forgot to write in my journal entry. I mentioned I had a secret two days ago, and so far noone's asked what it is. That's one of the reasons I wonder if anyone's reading this.
Not that I'm necessarily going to tell anyone who asks (I might, but then I might not!), but... it seems that if anyone else says that, people want to know what it is. And yeah, I've felt left out all my life, and I feel it again now.
11:57am, Thursday, March 15, 2001
New journal entry. Two in two days, please be impressed.
11:10am, Thursday, March 15, 2001
I'm sorry. It was terribly naive of me to think that politicians were not meant to be racist. Apparently they have to all agree to it first.
There was an interesting comment on Channel 4 news last night, that stirring up racial hatred was a bad thing, unless it was against asylumn seekers. If it's people fleeing human rights abuses, people who can't stay in their own country because they fear for their life, then somehow it's OK for us to hate them.
And again... sometimes people make me sick.
9:58am, Thursday, March 15, 2001
What tree did you fall from? I fell from the Maple tree....
MAPLE TREE (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.
No ordinary person... I never meant to be. Full of imagination and originality... I hope so! Shy and reserved - sometimes so, sometimes the opposite. Ambitious - sort of, but not in the traditional sense. Proud... I suppose! Self confident - more so than I used to be. Hungers for new experiences - yeah. Sometimes nervous, has many complexities... God yeah. And yeah, the rest of it's pretty accurate too! What about you?
9:54am, Thursday, March 15, 2001
Erin said I had some 'excellent commentary on being politically active'!! I'm hyperventilating. Everyone should go bow at her feet.
5:03pm, Wednesday, March 14, 2001
OK. I've posted the unfinished thing I was writing on working parents and also another thing I wrote on unemployment in this country. Go have a read. Remember, they're not exactly academic papers, just my thoughts while sitting in work, but I've tried to keep them coherent and all that, not get angry. If you've got any feedback, email me and let me know. It'd make my day.
4:23pm, Wednesday, March 14, 2001
Yeah, I'm surprised.
1:30pm, Wednesday, March 14, 2001
I've started to write something for thoughts about this report on this study, but I've just not got any work done today so I'll have to try and finish it tomorrow.
12:12pm, Wednesday, March 14, 2001
New journal entry, and the future section of the site has been added to. Leave me a message if you've got any more suggestions!
10:12am, Wednesday, March 14, 2001
Well I was two thirds of the way through a really long entry which I now can't remember (obviously) when my bloody computer crashed and lost the bloody thing. And it was important too, I was going on about activism and apathy.
So version two begins....
You all need to go read Erin's site and take action. And you need to remember that even if you think it doesn't affect you and never will, maybe a time will come when it does. Or when it affects a friend or relative you care about. And most importantly, you need to remember that no one else is going to fight for your rights, you have to do it yourself. You need to make the politicians remember that if you don't like their policies, they're not going to get reelected. That's anathema to a politician. They rely on people's apathy to push through the crap. Or they rely on the silence after a sudden burst of outrage. People watch the news and assume that because they're seeing it, someone is doing something about it, fighting the injustices, working for your freedom to live as you want.
What if noone is?
What if you're the only person watching this news broadcast and it's your responsibility to do something this time? Are you going to? Or are you going to let your freedom be chipped away?
Go to the sites she's linked, like marriageequalityca.com, and do something about this. And go to Amnesty's website while you're at it. Join the campaign against torture. Send a letter to stop British national Gary Dixon from being extradited to Saudi Arabia where he could face torture and execution. Do something to change the world.
8:58am, Wednesday, March 14, 2001
I hate it when people sign my guestbook just after I've cut down on the number of sites I visit and I find a bloody gorgeous one ;)
8:53pm, Tuesday, March 13, 2001
Journal entry added for 23 February. 2 March added to. I actually thought I had another one to bring in as well. Sorry.
5:18pm, Tuesday, March 13, 2001
I should have left work by now, what the fuck am I doing writing the future part of my Beth section? Anyway it's there, it's a good 60 years off finished but I just wanted something to be there, reading Hil's lifelist again inspired me dammit. Please shout at me if I post here more than twice tomorrow, I'm far too busy for this!!!
3:25pm, Tuesday, March 13, 2001
I'm jittery today. Maybe because I woke up at 6.30am instead of my usual 7.00 so I could get into work early and try and get some more work done. But I got nearly-enough sleep (far more than normal) and I've had no caffeine except for the minimal amount found in one cup of green tea, so I don't know why. I keep posting here and swearing to myself this is the last post today, only to come back a little later and post again. I've got quite a bit of work done, but still have so mucgh more really urgent stuff to do, and I still can't stop myself surfing.
I hate this.
2:21pm, Tuesday, March 13, 2001
I just realised that from my last post, depending on your point of view I sound either a) really organised, b) like the picture of domestic bliss, or c) like some sad person who doesn't have a life so makes bread instead. None of these are true. c) is possibly closest ;) but I make bread and hummous because it's cheaper and I'm at the stage of broke-ness where that counts if I'm going to London next week. Note to self - sort out hostel info TOMORROW - Loria, I'm getting sorted I promise, and I am just so excited!
12:58pm, Tuesday, March 13, 2001
Last night I went veg shopping, made tea, washed up, made bread, made hummous, did some handwashing, watched TV for an hour, called Paul and still got to bed early. Gotta be impressed.
I just had my lunch (hummous salad sandwiches and a soya yoghurt, which was very nice) and checked my email. And I've now got a secret. I so want to tell you all but I can't yet, it'll spoil the surprise. But I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!
11:23am, Tuesday, March 13, 2001
Oh and she's got a new project which I intend to join soooooon... and I think you should too!
11:14am, Tuesday, March 13, 2001
I've got far too much to do to be posting here, but I just had to say Tricia got herself a new domain, and Hilary has joined her there! And the sites are so beautiful they make my heart ache.
I've linked some new email accounts. over on the left. They're lonely. Please feel free to fill them up!
3:08pm, Monday, March 12, 2001
There are some things I want to write about that I don't want to be up on the main portion of my site. That are maybe too personal for the whole world to hear. That I would rather not put there, for fear of family or friends one day stumbling across this site, than take the risk.
But these things need their release too. I'm not going to put anything there yet, but sometime over the next month or so I'm going to add another section to the site, but not link it.
I'll say when it's there, so if you want the URL, wait till it's up and running and then email me. If you don't know me, please give me a little information about yourself so I'm not just telling complete strangers. (Those I know, just let me know if you're interested.) I'll set up a mailing list for that so you know when it's updated.
It will contain some things you may rather not read. Please be warned.
3:03pm, Monday, March 12, 2001
So I've spoken to the two people I want to put as referees for new jobs and they both said yes. granted, this doesn't actually mean anything, but I feel now as if I'm actually gonna do something about getting a new job. A week on Thursday I'm going into some temping agencies and am going to see if they reckon they can find me some decently paid work.
Wish me luck....