,04:24 p.m., Friday, August 10, 2001
You know what I realised today? That my site meter keeps track of where my visitors are, where they get there from, all that interesting stuff that I would have loved to have been watching. Yes, I am that thick.

But the interesting thing is, I got a referral from Sara B's guestbook, of all places. And I realised she's back. I'm glad sweetie. I've missed you. I kept your link up for ages, until I thought you were never coming back.

I hope you're OK.

,04:19 p.m., Friday, August 10, 2001
New journal entry for today, and a new livejournal entry too. I've not updated it in two weeks, basically because I've had very little to report. Sorry about that. Things seem to be moving again now.

,03:07 p.m., Friday, August 10, 2001
One more. I can't imagine why anyone would possibly want Jerusalem and I Vow To Thee My Country as hymns for their wedding. This article includes the words - I mean they're not exactly 'ooooh I love you' and they're not exactly 'god is good' so I think the vicar's right, they fail on both counts.
Wanting hymns you enjoyed singing as a child just seems wrong to me. When I think back now to the hymns I enjoyed back then I get freaked to think of the words I was thoughtlessly repeating. To me it smacks of someone who hasn't really been to church in years but wants to get married there because anything else would just feel wrong.
Possibly this is because that's me.

,03:02 p.m., Friday, August 10, 2001
I thought this was interesting. It's an article by a lesbian about why she is not overjoyed to hear that 'same sex "unions"' are now legal in Vermont.
It challenged many of my views on marriage. Really, why *should* people who have chosen to get married get privileges over those couples who may have very strong unions, but have chosen for whatever reason not to get married?
I still have every intention of getting married, believe me. But I remember now that I have to sit down and do some hard thinking about WHY and what it will mean to me and my relationship before I ever actually take that step.

,01:58 p.m., Friday, August 10, 2001
Last year, Robert Mugabe (the president of Zimbabwe) encouraged black people to occupy white-owned farms, ending up in the deaths of eight white farmers. It seemed at the time that he was encouraging the violence - never a way to make a great moral stand.
Now, the violence has started again, and while the US considers sanctions against the country in protest, Mugabe is preparing to declare a state of emergency and considering bringing in martial law.
Maybe the protestors have a point, maybe not. But while they're doing this by force, while they are shooting at people, noone is going to be sympathetic. If you want people to treat you with respect, treat others that way. You won't be do disappointed.

,09:32 a.m., Friday, August 10, 2001
Two new journal entries, one for 1 August and one for yesterday.

And some evidence that bigger is better... at least if you're a baby and you want a higher IQ.

,03:50 p.m., Thursday, August 9, 2001
Trying to catch up with some of the three million things I've been bookmarking but never seem to get around to posting....

This special report from the New Scientist magazine is fascinating. If you are looking for facts and figures to back up your (liberal!) viewpoint in the marijuana debate, this is the place to go.

I thought this made some interesting points about the stranglehold fizzy drinks seem to have over us all. Worth thinking about next time you fancy a can of coke or whatever.

And I was disappointed to find out that JFK's reported slip in Berlin, saying he was a jam doughnut, is in fact a lie. Oh well.

,11:53 a.m., Thursday, August 9, 2001
You know what amazes me about Paul? Let me tell you. And sorry in advance about the long complicated route it takes.

I read something recently at Meade's site (sorry, can't find it now) about her hair, how when she cut it suddenly she didn't need all these potions and clips and more and it made her life far easier. And I've been thinking about this more and more and wanting to do the same thing myself. But I'm not willing at present to deal with all the negative reactions, especially the work related ones.

Last night though I got really sick of it and was saying to Paul 'I'm sick of my hair, I'm going to cut it all off'. Not serious, just venting. And after his initial three second 'don't do it' reaction he started saying 'well if you really want to...' and was giving me advice on not just cutting it all off and hoping for the best.

And that surprised me, in a good way, for a second, that he'd say all that, that he'd support me in this kinda thing.

But then I remembered... that's the way this should be. He's never been anything but supportive of who I am, never tried to talk me out of anything, never tried to stop me being ME.

And that is fucking marvellous.

,03:44 p.m., Wednesday, August 8, 2001
And a question. While herpaintedwings looks like going bye-bye, is anyone else interested in generously taking on my guestbook? I'd love you forever.....

,03:39 p.m., Wednesday, August 8, 2001
Too busy to post yesterday. I had to leave early to go to the dentists. I need a filling redone, but I knew that anyway. My front teeth need polishing as well. I've got an appointment two weeks on Friday.

Anyway. For those of you who never get a chance to indulge themselves, I have a tip. Come closer....

I never get a chance to have a bubble bath. But I love the things. It's one of my few indulgences. So I had one at 7 this morning, before work. And it's the way to go, believe me. It made getting up and out for work on a cold rainy August day far more bearable.

,09:15 a.m., Monday, August 6, 2001
Home after my weekend, and I told Paul last night on the phone that I remember thinking the first time I saw him 'wow, he's gorgeous, where the hell did he spring from?'. I thought I'd told him before, but apparently not.

He was amazed, and extremely chuffed.

I do remember walking into the pub, seeing him that first time, and almost reeling mentally from the sight of him. I don't believe in love at first sight, I didn't fall for him straight away, but there was a pull there the first time I saw him. I wanted to get to know him.

And once I finally kissed him, a good while later, I just couldn't help going back for more.

I don't know what it was, but I can tell you that it's good, and five years since I met him later, I love him completely.