ok that was pretty embarrasing.. think im going to archive..

still waiting for the damn green man to flash on screen. okay dont take it the dirty way.. take it the literal way..
i missed a class chalet yesterdae cuz i onli got out at 7pm.. jeez. and i just saw my cat do a backflip.. woahh.. and is viciously attacking a plastic flower like its the enemy of the earth.. haha..

okay archive and change layout time..

Saturday, July 5, 2003 10:29 a.m.

read the following with a pinch of salt

i never blog about girls that i've met or aquaint myself with but tonight will be different. it started out innocently enough but i soon discovered that chatting with her sometimes infuriated me yet made me smile. for the first time, i understood why opposites attract... the infuriation, little name-calling, little put-downs.. all adds up to this attraction. its been awhile since i had fun chatting. seriously a long while. maybe im just a lonely hopeless romantic but i grew to like her personality. and then she showed me her pics. she's stunningly beautiful.. even with crazed grin or smoldering eyes. jeez.. and as suddenly as she came, she left..

call me immature, naive, green behind the ears.. but yes i've been smitten by a little chat of four hours. yes i dont even know her yet and perhaps this entry may not be viewed as the macho thing to do. fuck that. i dont want to pretend to be something im not.

i probably just might delete this entry in the morning.. but right now.. i have to write it. i guess sometimes in life.. you meet people that make you feel so alive.. some you get to know and love.. others you let go and remember forever. part and parcel of life

Saturday, July 5, 2003 03:02 a.m.

things are starting to suck in camp. it already sux.. it justs particularly sucked todae. i hate this job. seriously. its the type of job for the diligent, happy-to-be-paper-working, happy-to-serve-you-ma'am, sure-kick-my-ass-sir, dont-worry-ill-do-it type of guy who doesnt have a life outside. the only thing keeping me going are the guys in the company.. and they're going to be ORD-ing soon.. this sucks big time. i half thinking of asking for a post out and thinking i'm a wimp if i dont stay and do this thing. not that it requires courage or anything. its just so dog-gone not me. every month do stock check... get this signature that signature.. file it all up.. neat... i've never filed anything in my damn life.. except my "resume". i just hate this job. thats why i came home todae.. i had nowhere to go.. came home to listen to my band recordings and read blogs.. SAD HUH?

and i realized its july 1st.. its been a year being single for me. sometimes i wonder what possessed me to break up. part of the master plan i guess. i donno.. and its only recently ive realized that music isnt enough to fill this void in my life. maybe ill go into politics or law or something.. haha.. "whats ur drive and motivation to lead this country?" "i donno.. just bored i guess"

at least my humour is back.. and now i gotta go back in. grab some pratas and a loaf of bread before i go in.. this is one of the worst times in my life, ive gotta say.. this ns thing.. it just kinda sucks my energy from the inside when im doing the job.. and people know that im always the life of the party.. u'll be surprised at the dead, lifeless jerk that i am in camp (when im working).. i will never put myself in the situation where i hate my job but i have to keep on working. my life is just not worth that.

the minute my pay comes out in 9 days time, im buying sum 41 tickets.. yea.

Tuesday, July 1, 2003 09:47 p.m.

going back to camp.. so many stuff due.. damn.. the stress has returned.. f this shit..

this weekend was a no-plans weekend.. first of such in quite awhile. saturdae.. played pool with naj and sal then met ros.. went down to bishan park for the gig.. met up with imran.. then to boons for an impromptu jamming session. sundae was family dae.. thosai at new woodlands restaurant before grocery shopping and stuff.. accompanied my younger sister to the swimming pool.. then went home, repaired my com and now getting ready for camp again. sigh..

i need a new...

Sunday, June 29, 2003 09:51 p.m.

orchard library gig was pretty good. i think we made the best music so far. tho it wasnt really the best Performance we gave. but all's good. thanks to everyone that came down.. i really appreciated it. really. :)
i wanna hear the recordings.. i always seem to have one big mistake in each gig.

i might be performing in the baybeats acoustic performance after all.. we'll see abt that..

my younger cat just pissed in the house again.. i dont know whats wrong with her.. i hope its not like she's forgetting her potty training. my mum is visibly and audibly pissed. *get it?*

Friday, June 27, 2003 11:53 p.m.

we're gonna be rockin out
we're gonna be rockin out
we're turning up the volume
and we're gonna let our presence
and our energy
and our music
known to the world

empty before you
and then back
to whence you came
it suited the moment
of everlasting stonedness
to worry about it.
the music rang out and
you danced to him
it was funny
a kind of dark comedy
just before it hit the chorus
is it rhetoric to write like this?
dont worry
to the scent of raspberries
in the air,
we will taste all that
is bittersweet and
swallow all that
we have to offer.
isn't it futile to write about it?
im at a loss for words.

maybe tonight
maybe tonight we'll get lost in the streets
maybe tonight we'll stay in bed
maybe tonight they'll finally catch us
maybe tonight, tonights the night

maybe tonight
i wont see you anymore
admist the swirls
of forevermore

maybe tonight, we'll know the truth
maybe tonight, we'll sleep in lies
maybe tonight the dawn wont come and
maybe tonight, tonights the night

maybe tonight
they wont love you anymore
or maybe they will
sick and perverse on the floor

and you
you split me into a million pieces
and cast me onto the sky
like sick parodies of the sun
you could never leave the peace alone
i miss the quiet
i miss the quiet
i miss the quiet, the serene

maybe tonight, we'll taste white christmas
maybe tonight, we'll burn up mars
maybe tonight, i'll finally love you
maybe tonight, tonights the night

maybe tonight
i wont see you anymore
lost in the swirls
lost forevermore

Wednesday, June 25, 2003 02:44 p.m.

ahmad firdaus Magic Number 20 Job Celebrity Nobody Personality The Glass Is Half-Empty Temperament Unflappable Sexual Gay Likely To Win A Free Coke Me - In A Word Subtle Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

damn.. my secret's out...

Wednesday, June 25, 2003 02:38 p.m.

morenfour Magic Number 26 Job Celebrity Nobody Personality Multiple Temperament Best Not To Ask Sexual Straight Likely To Win A Nobel Prize Me - In A Word Ditsy Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

Wednesday, June 25, 2003 02:35 p.m.

Congrats! You are Lex Luthor!

Who's your Smallville Persona?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, June 24, 2003 09:22 p.m.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

My handphone got stolen. Call me at home number 64531314. yes.. i know.. i did just lose my phone a while back... and yes thats the reason i've been uncontactable.

alot of things have lost their appeal. im very tired...

Tuesday, June 24, 2003 08:48 p.m.

went to check out the substation gig with ros this afternoon.. was pretty disappointed. tsat at s11 for awhile.. litsa pertty people there.. then we went dow to orchard.. checked out the performances there.. losta pretty people.. met up with zaki.. najiah and little brother was also around.. met up with merf.. then performances.. oh Dyfectra is good. i got my pic taken by JohnC cuz i was wearing a Surreal t-shirt. haha. then met SiaoHui (is that how u spell it) fun girl.. haha.. played arcade.. the boxing game is fun but i now have a back sprain from it.. haha damn.. was at the post-SSF party thingy.. then had to leave cuz i need to book in now. have to take a cab.. but it was worth it to stay out so late.. everything was a nice fun blur. nice. fun. blur. hahaha.. okay so now im going in.. for a week.. heaven isnt as fun if there wasnt hell.. sigh. ok.. gotta go.. ok GO!

Sunday, June 15, 2003 10:56 p.m.

the second street fest gig for moren tea estate just ended a couple of hours ago... IT WAS GOOD SHITE!! better than the first one at least. i wasnt nervous at all though i cud have played better.. my dad gave me a positive critic after the gig.. too many to list actually.. tho he emphasized we still lacked stage presence and that we dont really show off our expertise.. the songs that we do are actually pretty simple.. yeah i guess we dont play songs tat are a pressure to play.. maybe thats why we dont FOCUS on the music so much. but we had fun.. and there was a pretty big crowd too.. so many people to thank for coming down and supporting us.. :) wished the mic wasnt too soft.. if it was just right, i know we would have rocked so much more..

preparing for the orchard gig on the 26th. gosh we have so much more experience now then we had just before the esplanade gig. the orchard gig will be something pretty awesome i bet.. cuz we'll be show-casing our acoustic songs with all the best electric songs.. very MOREN TEA ESTATE :)

i shud get some sleep but i dont want the dae to end. i wanna make a point to myself to be a little wilder on stage. engage the crowd...yea!

Saturday, June 14, 2003 02:33 a.m.

rotted at home in the early afternoon, then planned to play pool with the NS.25 production crew.. thats the crew producing the mtv for at the edge.. in the end.. i caught some streetfest performances and the bboy semi-finals with ros. then met up with syaheed.. ate bk and chatted.. about band stuff.

went home.. met up with scared ginger at the void deck of my house.. chatted till like 2am.. alls fun. though we ended up scaring ourselves with me relating army ghost stories. heh. ah well.. wat up, dawg~

Thursday, June 12, 2003 03:01 a.m.

i just watched one of my all-time favourite movies. the crow. sometimes.. you watch something that just rings true with something deep inside. thats a timeless sadness and classic feel to this movie. it captured what SPAWN the movie tried to achieve, it's the one movie which made rynning over roof tops and jumping over alleyways in a leather trenchcoat look cool. cuz he looks manic and insane doing it. and it IS a manic and insane act. wearing sunglasses and looking cool while running over roof tops is not the way to go, matrix.

the movie began with sadness.. and just when it was building up to a happier ending.. in comes the scene where brandon lee was killed. sigh.

rest in peace brandon lee 1965 - 1993

Wednesday, June 11, 2003 01:48 a.m.

been working on the short film script. involves a grp of teens and murder. in singapore. shud be interesting. but all the scenes in my head all involve some nifty camera shots and BUDGET. hope this doesnt remain some project that neva got off the ground.

watched the battle of the rock competition. some bands were good. but there was this band that played "all the small things".. damn... it was a heavy metal gig.

okay.. leaving for camp. sigh.. lotsa work these two daes.. but cant wait to leave camp tuesdae afternoon.. yeah..~

Sunday, June 8, 2003 09:16 p.m.

had a good dae todae. morning.. helped my neighbour's band with their first auditions. they were nervous. the band name was "scared ginger" haha.. they're scared of my cat, ginger thus the name. hahah. it took me a while to realize that. went down to toa payoh west cc for the auditions. we were the first band.. helped the people there set up.. mixed the sounds for the band. psyched them up and gave them all the stage advice.

for a 3 months old punk rock band, they're pretty good

they have the x factor voices. at least they dont sound mat. drummer's abit off timing sometimes but its ok. they'll only get better with practise. they're brimming with energy.. something i think some bands have lost abit over time. they got tru the auditions.. with four slots to perform at suntec city. the gig is called tapestry.. something similar to street fest but with a whole range of performances and on a bigger scale. naturally i asked my bands if they wanted to go down for the auditions.. pale pretense promised to make it for the second round of auditions.

chatted with scared ginger at thomson plaza.. sat at starbucks like we owned it.. fariz (scared ginger frontman)'s ex-girlfriend natasha works there.. and so does fahmi( scared ginger bassist).. so drinks were at discount. did i mention these guys were my neighbours? took a cab down to the starwars channel bbq at ray's house. we had fun! :) hahaha.. one of the best bunch of people i know. played till late and home at last..

now im thinkin of picking up an old tradition of starwars channel. short films. this time on a larger scale. i directed the previous one (which is why it didnt win any grammys).. so ill just come up with an outline draft.. toss the ideas to the rest.. and get someone else with more experience to direct. its a very exciting script.. but it'll be pretty big scale. like 30 minutes. (which is long for a short film with NO BUDGET) but im hyped up about it. hope to infect more people with this sudden urge to make a short film. haha. maybe can even cram in a soundtrack.

youth + art = reason enough to get away with anything

Sunday, June 8, 2003 02:41 a.m.

got this off some blog i was browsing tru.. no, i dont know why.

this entry's pretty late but its my blog and i just got home.

moren tea estate's first electric gig at cineleisure yesterday evening. didnt go well. i had a slight feeling something will go wrong cuz i didnt get the good vibe i usually get from the guys. you just know when someone's calm yet a little edgy.

check ur emotions b4 a gig
hyped up feeling = good
nervous feeling = okay.
no feeling at all = danger

though everything seemed normal during the soundcheck. i was freaked out by the previous drummer (damn those drum lessons drummers..) so was seriously nervous.. damn i was drumming like i was just starting out or something. sat at the drumset.. the vibe wasnt there.. the drumset was too close and too high for me.. adjusted what i cud.. but it was like doing stunts on a bike that wasnt well-aligned or something. weird. anyway, soo many people came down to support us
syaheed, lokman, faz, isk, hazi, hafiz, eugene, imran, zaki + najia, qimou (heh), jasper and everyone else... sorry to disappoint u guys.. the stage was partly at fault (cuz ALL the other bands had bad tones and mixing) but we seriously cud have done better. and we will.. on the big stage at the field opposite heeren this 13th june. impt thing.. we'll be having fun and cuz we're such nice guys.. we'll make u have fun too.

ive taken off for tmr.. and next week ill be having block leave.. with a whole working week following that... wonder what ill do to spend my free time..

Thursday, June 5, 2003 10:54 p.m.

pale pretense's first gig rocked! 1045am this morning Victoria Concert Hall. wasnt nervous.. i think i drummed pretty good todae. we were tight. no fancy schmancy drumming and stuff (though there were some slick rolls.. heh..) but its all good. i think my biggest pressure was to drum well in front of all the other drummers there. heh. ive got my tempo down.. just need to diversify abit..

there were so many supporters.. nice people all. though i didnt catch any names. heh. but a very fun bunch. i'm proud of the band. seriously. isk was cool all the way. viv was a little nervous but he played tight. he seems to make all the mistakes in the studio and none during the gig. :) loosen up abit more brader and u'll rock out. and hazi. first of all, she already looked like a rock chick. then she put all her emotion into singing and totally engaged the crowd. (though the vox speakers abit weak - no fault to erman the floor manager though.. damn nice guy) amazing. it really didnt look like it was a first gig. no shoe-gazing.. and we had the most crowds too. with children taking pics and adults asking requests and the name of the band. and of course the frens cheering like crazy. hehe. it was good.

helped pack up the stuff and dismantle the drumset.. poor erman left alone to keep it all.. then went down to orchard with hazi to meet up with the starwars peeps. gonna give support to zaki for his public deejaying of radio heatwave. i think he has a knack for it. got really tired and a funny headache towards the evening. had to go home. slept on the bus. which i waited 30 minutes for. gotta go back to camp REAL early tmr morn. got duty. sigh. at least i got my OC's permission to get off on the 4th for MTE's streetfest gig. cineleisure 7pm. i hope i'm as calm as i was todae. i always find it less stressful drumming to pale pretenses.. just hope i dont get too nervous for MTE's first rock out gig. wish me luck guys.

and thanks again for the gum, hazi.

Saturday, May 31, 2003 09:15 p.m.

Take the "Which X-Men are you" quiz!

Friday, May 30, 2003 10:07 p.m.

went to alvron studios this afternoon for jamming with pale pretenses. all's good. a little rusty though.. wudnt be stressed if the gig wasnt a week away. so yes im a little stress. but it think it wont be a problem. only prob is our slot is probably like at 9am or something. damn. dont know if i can come out that early.

have to go back to camp now. dont wanna bitch about it. so many things left undone.

there must be something more than this.

Sunday, May 25, 2003 09:44 p.m.

went down to the ssf meeting just now. lady was kinda like some teacher.. warning *okay scolding* us like... dont dis other bands.. have u handed in your forms.. blah blah blah.. but alls good.. she plays a motherly role in this street fest thingy. though it'll be more fun if she like baked cookies for everyone or something... the chicks there were hot. though everyone seems a little quiet *or maybe im just too loud - as usual* i thought like entertainers would naturally be lifely and energetic and center of attraction and stuff but .. i guess what it was just now was a congregation of musicians who dont wanna be there.. musicians = know how to play their stuff = quiet = may not really know how to entertain. me = dont know how to play drums properly = noisy = blast on stage .. muahahaha.. whatever man.. im just having a blast of a time doing what i love while i decide which drumstick goes where

im not artistic. i guess im not the kind that would actively check out films and books and stuff. though i love plays and reading... its just that i dont have to have that kinda stuff. but i do need music. yes i do. i need music. how bout you? im still procrastinating on the drum lessons thing. and the webbie. im such a lazy ass.

after the briefing ros came down then.. met up with hafiz and eugene.. sat at spinellis.. the chicks there were hot.. haha.. then went to the wallet shop.. one of the sales assistant there was hot *by now u can tell todae was one of my horny days*.. then eugene drove us down to kembangan for chicken chops.. then we drove back to bishan.. oh yeah jamie joined us at the chicken chop place. on the way back.. had a huge craving to go chiong but no money and it was hard to organize everyone at the last minute so ended up chatting at macdonalds bishan j8..eugene and hafiz carried on. todae was fun.. though not realli efficient or anything.. just kinda rotted outside.

im mudz. drummer. ns. jc. ex-skater *hoho*. sailor. colonized malay. i love my family. i love my friends. if someone reports me dead from suicide tmr.. tell them its murder.

p.s. its times like this when im really sleepy and when im squinting at the monitor is when i type a lot of shit and i wont know exactly what i wrote till tmr morning. which is when i become mortified at what i wrote but would still be too lazy to change anything.

Sunday, May 25, 2003 02:18 a.m.

went jamming yesterdae. merf was tired. but it was fun. new song. need proper lyrics. me, ros and kc discussed some stuff later. drew nice pic of kc. *hehe* must upload it sometime.

going down to the youth park soon for the singapore street festival briefing. shud be fun. i really shud return the drums already. procrastination. beyond salvation.

good lyrics are important. bad lyrics dont work. good lyrics are nice to hear. bad lyrics sound funny. good lyrics makes u sound smart. bad lyrics doesnt. understand? :)

Saturday, May 24, 2003 12:51 p.m.

totalitarian. my sanitarium.
LYRICS are important.

Saturday, May 24, 2003 12:36 p.m.