Dont' love a restless cry
28.06.02

umm... my back hurts. today at one i met brynn at dahls and we shared a plate of fries, we talked about stuff thats going on, i told her about last night and crap.. then we went to brynns house for a little bit and watched some daytime tv with cole and her mom. and it was really funny because cole was getting into it as much as his mom was. it was funny. then brynn had to get ready for work, we went a little early so we could pump gas for cole. i said i would do it because brynn said that she didnt know how. i told her-open this-unscrew this-put this in that-and be sure to turn it on. when she put it in the hole, she didn't put it in right so when i turned it on... it went all over me... and i was soooooo pissed. but its all good, i came home and washed my clothes. o_o i ran up the stairs in my underwear hoping that my brothers door was closed and that nobody was there. i was lucky. haha... o_O

†insert time here 5:07pm†

im alot like you, so please, hello, im here im waiting
28.06.02

umm.. i kinda let shit hit the fan tonight. i confronted ash with a few things.. and yea.. im hated.. umm.. yea.. i might talk more about it later. but it makes my head hurt thinking about it. woo.. yea lets talk about my day. ummm i woke up about 15 min after my mom left to go get her oil changed, which was about... 11.. and i watched my daytime tv... watching the time go by... hours away from having to go to work.. in which i dread... i helped mama make enchiladas (they sucked really bad =P sorry mommy-but too much cilantro) they finished about 20 min before i had to leave. i ran around the house in my underwear because i couldn't find my slip... o_O lucky that Tory (brothers friend from colorado) left early otherwise he would see something he would NEVER see again... grr.. but anyway i found my stuff, rolled in my bodyspray and worked.. i worked outside. >> some megan bitch is back... i hate her sooo much... i was sending mental messages to her that were "yer on my list..." and "DIEEEEEE!!!" =| no one takes my name.... lol well anyway.. she seemed to get a load of scott. woo.. well. yea.. me and rebecca talked about 12 inch clits and how women that take steroids grow penises... o_____o which was intresting... yea.. i came home... talked to chunkachu... and stuff. uhh.. i really have to pee...BAI DESU!

†† dood im not typing up the japanese crap im too lazy--timeis... 12:30am††

EL SCORCHO
25.06.02

WOO o_o; its a good song. by weezer. o_o; i was in a really really bad mood. THANK YOU FREDDIE FOR CALLING ME AT 9!!!!!!!!! O_______O! i forgot what he said.... but i think one of them was "u sound cranky" and i said "i just woke up, im just tired *groans and moans because shes in pain*" then he said something about going to do something and i rolled over with the phone still in my hand and i said "sleepy sleepy sleepy" and knocked myself out until 11:30 or something.... today was ok. i told my mom about the camping thing... reminded her that i WASN'T going to forget my sleeping bag this time. and yea... i basically watched tv the whole day. and my mom doesn't know how to work compy... shes like "WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO IT!?" i said ">> nothing... u just dont know how to use it".... i hate verbal abuse.. i was called a bitch today. -___- i usually take it quite well, but when its your mother calling u a bitch u take it in offence.. ah but otherwise me and mama were ok today... but shaun came on saying that he was scared and stuff.. and i said he has no reason to be and then he said something about guys taking me away from him. and i said 'no' and then he said "then u are going to come back and tell me brb" and i dont know what he meant by that really.. i do say brb to people i dont really want to talk to brb sometimes but i dont think i told him that... and then he got off after that and hasn't been back since.. T_____T i dont know why he thinks im going to leave him.... and u can ask any of my friends... they will laugh their asses off, and they will be like "what the fuck are you on!?" they know i wouldn't. o_O; i might've if he was anyone else, but he isn't. hes my chunkachu. T_______T ok? gah im lonley again. -____- graham is doing a deal with steves dad or something... and if u know my brother, u know what kind of deal it is. ok.. lets just say.. he hasn't had a job in... 3 months and he seems to be popping up with money all the time... and one thing he is good at is... his stuff... --phone go ring-- it was tommie.. o_o he ditched her. -____- bastard... i hate men... everyone is ditching meeeee!!!!!!!!! gah.. lol... the chobits dvd came out today. the japanese one. ^-^ i will take advantage of my shit. i should have my dvds in a couple days. they are from miami. i think i told someone they were from new hampshire or something... o_o; i got something else from there a long time ago... im really sick of typing up shtuff.. o_o; nothing to talk about... and i have to pee. =| shaun: poo head. T___T get back online paweese...

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 6:08pm††

me is lonley T_____T
o_o before bed...

fred called not that long ago. we talked about excel saga for about 3 min. o_o he said "was that the bowling episode" i said "no" (talking about ep. 2) and then he said "ah ok-just askin about it before i got to bed, goodnight megan" i said "goodnight freddie". o_o; and then we got off. i talked on aohell for a little bit with noone. yea... i talk to the smaterchild
bot..

shizzballs: i want you
SmarterChild: With a human? Forget it!
shizzballs: I WANT YOU SO BAD
SmarterChild: That a fact?
shizzballs: YES IT IS U SEXY BOT
SmarterChild: That right?
shizzballs: i want you so bad!
SmarterChild: What about it?
shizzballs: do you love me?
SmarterChild: Yes I do.
shizzballs: do you want to marry me?
SmarterChild: Uh... Thanks, but no thanks
shizzballs: well i'm marrying someone billion times better than u, u small dicked piece of shit
SmarterChild: Yeah, I remember when I first discovered bad language. Grow up.
shizzballs: =|
SmarterChild: I'm trying to understand you but I can't. Please type your request a different way.
shizzballs: .........boob
SmarterChild: Uh... I beg your pardon?

okokok i'll stop talking to it.... ^-^ yea... i am lonley.. im going to bed. ah... my space right next to the table. o_o; i dont want to sleep in my bed tonight... its too hot.... *coughs* night folks...

††TIME GOES HERE!!!!!! --12:04am††

woo campin XD IMMA GUNNA GET TOASTED
25.06.02

XD IM FROLLICING AROUND THE HOUSE IN MY SWIMSUIT SHORTS!! o_o;;; they look normal... i just sag. ok!? woo last night was the night of all phonecalls. o_o; i never get phonecalls. i usually dont want them... because when certain people call and they dont have a reason i bitch at them. ^-^ not u ash i love it when chu call me. but anyway. THE PHONE KEPT RINGING!!!!!!! and it was this one merandia chick for my brother, shes obsessed with him and its really funny because my brother is hiding out. XD and hes all like "megan, u answer the phone.. and if its not tommie (his gf) say im out with my girlfriend ok?" and i reply "HAI DESU!" and shtuff. ^-^ and after merandia called for like the 12th time i kinda yelled at her and said "STOP CALLING YOU LITTLE FUCKING BITCH!" XD NO ONE MESSES WIF MY 'NIICHAN! and and and and yea... then i changed my nickname on msn to "IF THAT FUC|_> *wooks at ash and eric* to the mubies... *punches eric* >> dun touch my ash... anyway... i can't wait until i get to go camping. i know the whole damn time imma gunna be like "SHAUN THIS AND SHAUN THAT" >> i usually only think... i dont really talk about him like that. o_o; but brynn seems to be intriuged by him. i hope Lorpu is there. T___T shes moving to PA.. (i abbreviate it... its so damn hard to spell..... T___T too many y's and l's and n's) and anyway. XD i get and go visit her... *crosses fingers* anyway... o_o;;; and if im there... wif courtney, Lorpu, AND amy (basically anyone brynn would invite) all they will be doing is saying "LETS GO LOOK FOR GUYS" but brynn knows me she will be like ">> u guys are retarded..." wif me. but we will go swimming and stuff. o_o; i have a swimsuit i got for spring break but its too revealing... =___= my skin is bad to be seen. o_o;;;;..... im pissed. i want my fookin dvds... and the person just told me they just sent them this morning. =____= its been long enough..... damn im hot... i hate summer heat. XD unless u are stuck to a man's chest wif hunnah. (LMFAO ASH) "uhh... honey, help me, i seem to be stuck to your hot abs" XD..... woo.... o_o;;; im going to try that... <_< *wooks at shaun* ok!? woo im hyper... no more sugar for me.. IM OBSESSED WITH HOOBASTANK!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! o_o;;; i thought they were just an group of incubus wannabees... but ^-^;; they izn't... and and runaway is a good song... o_o;;; yea shaun i can hear all the way over hear "HAW HAW HAW" i was wrooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg.. i think it was him that told me that they wuz good... my fingernails are really long.. it looks like i have girl hands... o_o;;; wow... i need to bite my nails. *stares at hand* must... bite...nails............*stuffs hand in mouth and starts to gnaw on it* XD OISHIIIIIIII!!!!!!!

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 5:20pm††

entrynessnessness
24.06.02

oi minna... o_o;; nothin much to talk about. for the last.. urr.. 2 days ive been hanging out wif ash she came over for awhile saturday and brought over some of that fake champagne stuff (2 bottles to be exact) and well we downed those. and theeeennnnnn since my mom wouldn't let her spend the night since mumsy was gunna go to jon jon'z house later that night, i just went over to ash's house and we watched anime did wierd stuff. o_o sunday morning......we woke up at noon and eric called and we kinda scared him. o_o; all the child says is "ok" -____- he deserves a swift kick in the ass if i ask me. then later that day my mom took me and ash to go meet eric to see lilo and stitch. which was really cute. makes me wanna surf. o____o the david guy in it is a cootie patutie XD woo starting to sound like rosie o'donnell now... must stop. yea. it was fun, going wif a couple. -__________- woo... he was all puttin hiz arm around her and for some odd reason i felt like kurumi from freekin steel angel kurumi. XD i felt like kicking him and saying "MY ASH!" o_o;;;;;; and so on. lol im wierd ne? im really urr. tired eventhough i woke up at like 1 XD woo, i would've slept longer if that god forsaken phone didn't ring. >_>; well me and ash stayed up watching "flashdance" until like... urr.. 5? haha and i was like "woo its getting light outside" and i rolled over and i was out. haha... o_o one time me and shaun stayed up until like... 6???? something like that. XD woo. funness... o_o; i remember lookin up kama sutra stuff. XD LMFAO... o_o please dont ask. o_o;;;;; im an odd child. Jimmy Eat World iz my hero. ^-^; i listened to this song when... yea... it just takes some time little girl ur in the middle of the ride, every thing every thing will be just fine everything everything will be alright yea.... o_O i was like "=___= imma gunna dieee a long painful death and please have it be sooooon" woo its 2:43... o_o;; well... i think calling jerry a fucking man whore made him think. =| rose is muh buddah, no one fucks wif her. o_O; i will unblock people and bitch at them for those reasons. well anyway. im gunna.. urrr.... prolly watch chobits. matta ne

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 2:46pm††

-_- i hate this
21.06.02

i hate how jealous i get for no reason. and... i do have my reasons... and i know lots of the stuff i think is true. and im scared that im going to be hurt. and i know if i dont watch whats going on i will be. i'll be hurt as bad as i was 3 weeks ago. and maybe i wont stop myself. yuh know? i know something is wrong when my stomach starts to hurt. and my chest hurts. =____= it doesn't mean im depressed. if i was depressed i wouldn't even be on compy, id be sleeping. or maybe i'll end up solving like how papa did. instead of trying to fix things. -____- well... imma going to let mommy on before she goes to jon jons. so i will be left alone in this damn house again for the weekend.

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 5:48††

::frollics under bunches of sakura trees::
21.06.02

ah. i am happy. o_o last night i had bunchies of dreams. but one of them was different. (if yuh know what i mean) but. i was in papas house and he was watching the end of evangelion. (XD go papa) but he was dead in the dream, for what i thought at least) i looked over at his chair and there he was. o_o; and i basically tackled him and bawled as i usually did. but it was wierd. i woke up and i was breathing really really hard. i think my house is haunted. i've never waken up from a dream and breathed like that. but i went back to sleep, so it was all good. but that dream scared me. =____= i wish i could hug papa right now. but anyway, my day was pretty cool. i went and rented orange county. o_o; and i was totally creeped out because that one shaun brumner d00d is like JOE... XD **nervous laugh-turns red and faints** but i liked it. o_o; but still the actor.. i was like o_______________o e-lo... talking to my television screen. but i watched the movie with graham. he said he wants to take me to old settlers this weekend. and i really want to go. its tradition. and i didn't go last year... and that was the first year i didn't go... probably because id sit in papas swing and cry. =_= i want to go. but it wont be the same if i can't sit in the swing wif papa. ^-^ i always did. and all my friends there, forgot about me. or they hate me for no apparent reason. i have rehannion but shes... urr... different and the guys she hangs around scare me =_= at my papas furnual one of them kept trying to hug me and they sed i was purdy. -____- one of the times i wore a dress. T____T graham is goin to redfield. home. *cries* i miss home. but a good thing is me and graham are back to being civil. ^-^;;; he sed he was sorry and we hugged. -____- i hate being touched. when will ep 12 of chobits be out. SPEAKING OF THAT. saharu called me last week.. no wait, she called me sunday and she said "my mom is going to japan tomarrow and i want to know if u want anything" and i was like "O^-^O aww urr...sure, like what!?" and she didn't know eventually she said "chobits stuff?" and i was like "YEA! =D" so yea. ^-^;;; i loff her shes so kawaii. i just wish she could open up more. XD hahaha i be the one to talk. woo... well i'm urr. tired of typing??? not really but hey who cares, right!? ja

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 3:16pm††

ewww we need a new keyboard
21.06.02

first day of summer. o_o;;;; woo, well... we need a new keyboard. >_> my mom smokes like a muthahfuckah and its really nasty because megan is the one that hasta clean the keyboard after she uses it. >_> her constantly hacking and coughing on it. *shudders* and then the occasional food stuck in between the keys. dood its my computer why can't i have rules. >_> no smoking, eating and coughing while on the 'puter. >_> thats why i am prolly gunna go to office depot or better yet, best buy spend a totally outrageous amount of money with one touch internet shit. o_O i have that now. i choose not to use it. gah i can't wait until i have more money and i can get my own damn computer. *shrugs* i need to get a cable modem first. so i dont spend another $150 on getting the shit for the dsl. or is that how much it would cost to get it installed. well i dunno but it sure was 2 hours of pure fun sitting with the tower inbetween my legs installing the mofo internally. woo.......reminds me. i got the first episode of buttobi cpu. its cute. and its such a mild hentai. XD its even milder than sprite. my first hentai... thanks to josh (not titty grabber o_o the one that always wanted to show me his dick because i said it was teeny) but he said "u have to see this" so i went home, watched it. and i was like =O my purity. (81% pure folks) o_o the dream i had last night sure wasn't pure XD LMFAO... woo ok im kidding. o_o; kinda. well i had to sleep downstairs last night because it was so damn hot in my room. i was laying on my bed, with my fan on and i was so hot. gah... i was thinking of sleeping naked but o_O; how about no. so i grabbed all my blankets and headed for the door, which isn't connected XD thanks to muhself. so it fell and hit the side of my organizers and THERE GOES EEEEEVERYTHING. =_= my anime dvds and tapes, all my fanfiction, some books. o god, my vash figure (still in box, i should o_o; assemble it? the box is open) well.......yea.... T___T just think, i think my drawing of me and aya might be in there too. T_____T i need to get that framed. o_o;;;;; i look cute in it. c'mon, im not in LOVE with aya. o_o; it kinda looks wierd, me with a guy and all. o_o;;;; there is only one picture of me that i know of that im with a guy i think. o_O;;; Casey Offerman. XD i went out wif him 23 times (becky counted) o_O;;; he was sweet, and a couple summers ago he came over to my house visiting from north carolina? or south... o_o;;; he moved after 6th grade. *shrugs* he was cool. hes muh buddah now. ^-^ atashi no tomadachi, zutto? itsumo? >_> anyway.. well imma going to go and rent some movies and mama is gettin me some chinese XD naughty mommy imma gunna get as fat as graham XD pudgy boi!

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 12:23pm††

toki ni ai wa
19/20.16.02

i just got done watching the utena movie. forgetting that i needed to make shauns layout. i'll do it tomarrow morning. -___- cant take that long since the new pic he got me was more of a wallpaper. >_> not a purdyness one. (XP @ chu, chunkachu) but anyway, i love the utena movie. its so sweet, i always cry in the elevator scene with utena and touga... i wasn't really watching the whole thing, i was drawing. >_> i dun draw enough anymore. c'mon 75% the reason i flunked all my classes this year was because i didn't do anything in my 3 studyhalls but, draw... o_o;..... but anyway. i told shaun id write an entry about him... sooooo, here it goes. eventhough i dont know what to say without sounding completey... wierd? ^-^ we've almost known eachothah for about a year now... i think.. yea.. we met the 20-something(th)... it was funny. o______o;; he was kinda commiting suicide in a chat... "raye, kiss me" and i was like "EH!?" and and and... shtuff... o_o;;... but it was really sweet.. yes, i found it sweet. he did tell me he liked me at first i think.. did i mention i was currently with the 15 year old toddler, rodney? yea... i did like shaun more. o_o; well... we talked alot and he told me that i was more than a friend but, we weren't together. and i did break up with that damn child eventually and he asked me out. ^-^; of course i sed yes. o_o i wasn't obsessed with him but i loffed him... a bunch. (>_> this isn't really about him, its more explaining how we err.. hooked up) anyway. o_o;;; we gotz in fights a bunch. =____= and we did break up once in november AND WE GOT BACK TOGETHER. o_o!! woo all i can really say he makes me so happy. ^-^ i haven't ever been diz happy wif anyone. not even with papa accounting the fate i knew what would happen with him -__-;... o_O he does feel the same about me i sure as hell hope... urr... *nervous laugh* anyway.. O YA. i got to voice wif him for like... minute? i was sitting in my chair saying "squeeeeeeegasm" *-* its godly to me. i feel like a damn schoolgirl around him... woo.. O*-*O i love you very much chunkachu. ^-^;; he is my chunka chunka. *squeeks "fluffa fluffa" and frollics off* POOF!

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 12:12pm††
‡make a wish‡

ashita he no melody
19.06.02

i swear i love this song. XD.... i bet its kinda scary though, seeing me in a towel belting out japanese lyrics to a peppy upbeat song like ashita he no melody ^-^; im just like that when im happy i guess. this song to me, is like one of those songs u can listen to over and over and can't get enough of it. woo... hmm well imma gunna put a shirt on...haha. one of my million white shirts. o_o its a MUST for me. ;D white shirts, jeans and o_o; my usual skater shoes. >_> and im not a skater. woo... but i buy them anyway. thats how i look everyday. i noticed in the summer... i dont really wear...clothes... o_o;;; if i lived alone i would frollic around in my scivvies. o_o;;; or nothing.. (hehe scivvies)i have the URGE. o_o i use herbal essences conditioner. ;D the kind from the funny commercail. IMMA GUNNA SCREAM IF THESE DOWNLOADS DUN FINISH!!! im downloading buttobi cpu. ^-^; hentai, but not smutty. ;D.... SPEAKING OF SMUT! today i was reading utena fanfics for spite. and well... i came across one **lemon of course** and oh my god. that was the classiest smut ive ever read. it was so well done. they made something like.... having hot, sweaty, longing, sticky, ass romping sex into something so beautiful O_O!; i swear! i was sitting there drooling wishing or hoping its actually like that... not that i wished i was in utenas spot. it was a touga and utena fic. based off the manga for the movie. i swear, they made it beautiful. they used words like soft petals and stuff and shtuff... it made me blush. =O... it didn't turn me on one bit. but hell, nothing does >_> really.... *pauses* but, yea... i want this person to freeking write a fic for me. heres the ficcie if u dont go for... long... and urrrr... sex-full? fanfics i dun really think u should read it.. *pauses* perverts ;D im kidding of course. ah shit. i need to make shauns layout. *falls over* i told him i would do that AND download the song my hoobastank.. and i think another song too. @______@ i need to stop saying imma gunna do things for people. well to end.. a quite short entry, for myself... ^-^ i love noodles, and utena is hawt. ;D

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 9:00pm††

woo i ended up telling my life story =O
18.06.02

imma gunna hurt tomarrow morning. i have big ass bruises on my back and on my hips and shit. ;-; imma gunna die of pain. my brother is a fucking asshole. its kinda sad that im scared to be alone in my house with my brother. T____T because i think i will be killed.. after the previous entry, my mom went up and took a shower, and i was laying on the couch, he picked me up, threw me on the ground and basically drop kicked me to hell. i got slapped too. so... a little bitch slap, to boot. i didn't cry as hard as i usually would, and i didn't scream for help. i screamed for my life and i cried thinking he wasn't going to stop. he stopped eventually and i just layed there, rolled up in my blanket. i really want to get out. but someone will make me move with a family member or something. but i think... HE is the one that needs to move out. hes the one that is a good-for-nothing shit hole and refuses to get a job, and only lives here for a free meal and a roof over his head. he can critisize anyone he wants, and if they talk back, he beats the shit out of them. my problem is, i dont say anything and i get the shit beat out of me. ah, i'll be ok. i'll replace the headphones he stole. and i can fix the stuff he broke in my room... as long as it isn't the statues my papa got me... i would never forgive him if he hurt any one of those... those mean so muuuuuuch to me. i need to buy one more to finish it off. right now, the space is filled up with ugly zebra things... i went to the place where papa bought all those statues, and i found the one i wanted, -___- never knew how damn exspencive they were. but i will get it. eventually. ^-^; it will be papa's belated fathers day present. he would like that. its prolly because fathers day was sunday but ive been missing papa a bunch lately. lots of people hated him and thought nothing of him, but he meant the world to me... i always thought he hated me when i lived with him... because my brother always told lies about me to him... and i suffered the consequences of the lies. =___= i wasn't a bad girl. everytime he got drunk and passed out, i thought he was dead, so i cried myself to sleep thinking that i'd never see him again. one time he fell on broken glass, and i thought for sure he was gone. i screamed and bawled myself to sleep. woke up and he had stitches and was fine, he told me it was ok. -______-; i knew it wasnt... no matter what i did i thought he would hate me and think lowwwwww of me... eventually when we moved out i only saw him every other weekend, and sometimes it moved to... every 6 weeks? and well, after awhile i knew he was proud of me. he stopped drinking and he seemed so happy. one day, it was the 3 year anniversary from when he stopped and he asked me if i was proud of him and i said "of course papa, i am" he started crying and smiled at me. and then i knew he loved me. it felt good to be loved for once. -___-;.... from then on i slept in the same bed with him telling him to never die and let me move in because i hated living with mama. one thing i remember is him singing to be before i went to sleep. gah papa was so warm. everyone thought he was cold hearted and hated everyone. but he loved me, and thats all what mattered to me. as long as he loved me. about 2 years ago i remember jumping into the blazer and i saw a bottle of vodka/gin whatever the fuck it was. i started to hyperventallate. i just thought to myself couldn't be true...it wasn't what i thought it was he asked me what was wrong i said nothing like i always do, i never show how i feel if its bad... eventually i forgot about it. after that weekend he started calling saying that he was tied up with work and couldn't pick me up... and... it was hard to get tied up at his job... it happened a few weeks in a row. but, i remember he told me he would take me out to lunch on september 20-something, it was a sunday. we went out to our normal resturant and he got me a present... it was the last statue i got. it was a dragon. after dinner we went shopping for a little bit and then he dropped me off. i kissed him goodbye and i said i'd see him in a couple weeks. that was the last time i kissed anyone. and that was the last time i saw him. but it wasn't the last time i heard his voice. the thursday before i was supposed to go to his house, he called and he talked to my brother, my brother passed the phone to me because i had to tell him i was going out to Iowa City for the weekend and we'd have to try next weekend. he said "alright, meggie" and i said "bai bai papa" and he stopped and said "megan, i love you" serious, all sudden.. "i love you too papa" and he hung up. if i knew what he was going to do next i would've never ever dreamed of going to that god forsaken iowa city. i blame myself eventhough i know i shouldn't. i blame my brother for leaving his body there for 3 or 4 days... not even coming back everyday to say hello... hm.. shows how much my brother cared about anyone... He did die. he did kill himself... we kept it a secret saying to the newspapers that he just had a heart attack. and we chose to keep it like that, keep it simple, we didn't need sympathy... at least i didn't. i couldn't take it... i sunk back into my dark stage, darker than before... i took advantage of my talent with my strawberry gashes... they got more frequent... i wear the scars, and i wear a ring to remind me never to go too far. its my papa's ring. when i was about 7 or 8 i sat on papa's lap he told me a corny story about this ring saying something about it being a real star stuck inside a sapphire. i believed it. ;D i still do... so now, uhh.... yeeaaa where did THAT long 'paragraph' come from. geebuz. o_o; thats some shit i have told basically noboody. XD i'll delete this prolly tomarrow morning. i need to get to bed.

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 12:15am††

why was tiggers head in the toilet? he was looking for poo
18.06.02

woo new layout. and the tradition is... whenever i am in the middle of a layout... my computer likes to freeze and lose it for me. woo isn't that just so niiiiice. i swear i screamed fuck so loud... but dammit! i shouldn't hafta put up with it. hahaha... well... my mom said that its funny gay men day on rosie. o____o its true. there was this one guy on before, that... i swear, no straight man could wear designer glitter jeans as good as him. well he was talking about the vagina monolouges. o_____o;; love your vagina girls... and in the words of chase's little brother... he as a vagina =O... he was talking about his asscrack. wow. his brother and sister are wierd-os. ^-^; cute though. anyway... i kept waking up, and i swear to god i heard on my radio that it was 12:45. o_o; and i guess i fell back to sleep because i woke up somewhere around... 1:30. mm.. i got about...13 hours of sleep.. woo thats crazy... im having major back problems. its mostly in my neck and lower back. and today my left hand was killing me. LMFAO... XD
trebeck: this 'ringo' was the 'star' drummer of the beatles.
martha stewart: i am so very lonley
trebeck: i know
--bling--
trebeck: yes mr connery, the drummer of the beatles?
connery: kravinmorehed
trebeck: who's cravin' more head?
connery: apparently u are

LMFAO XD WOO... that was great... T__T my hair is fading... but its still black. i can just see a couple strands of dark brown. woo i wish it was next summer.. now.. o_o;;; CHOTTO!!!!!! O_O AM I TAKING DRIVERS ED NEXT SUMMER!?... uhhh... i dun think so.. i am taking it this winter??? woo -______-... GUESS WHAT. u can make "i ::heart:: boobs" out of indoors. XD IT CAN BE DONE!!!! i watch too much tv. i need to get outside. but my mom has been busy. and =_____= i have no one to play with. its not like i can call up greg and go out riding on our bikes forever like we used to. my mom threw out my bike to the trash thing last saturday. T___T it was the one papa got me too, when my other one got stolen. damn. well my brother has his. in which he has driven.. twice? >_> bastard, when he had a job he loved to waste money on $500 bikes. i had some wierd dreams last night. i just forget what they are.. there he goes again. my brother bitching, because he does't have a job. its not our fault. he just had a job offer today. and he refused because he said "i aint gunna sell shit-fuck that" well i think he really doesn't have a choice. he doesnt have a college OR high school education, he doesn't have.. wow, hes yelling at me now. *shudders* i have a feeling im going to be hit... real hard.. there we go... right in the back of the chair. and it didnt feel good... ow.. my back.. i just hope my mom doesn't leave anywhere... and i hope he is sleeping if i go upstairs... because he will hurt me. kinda sad that i have to watch my own damn step every day so i dont get seriously hurt. i remember last summer we caught him doing stuff downstairs and when he took his keys to leave, me and tommie (his girlfriend) ran after him, and when i took the keys from his hand so he couldn't leave. he threw me down on the pavement really hard, same with tommie. and then sometime before that, he threw me down and pinned me, screamed in my ear and when i rolled over on my side he kicked me in the back repeatadly, then twisting my ankle, trying to break it. then my mom came home so he ran outside. >___> i kinda just noticed that i am kinda abused. nothing im not used to. WAIT I REMEMBER MY DREAM!!!!! ok, me and lindsay were in church. o_o; which was wierd itself, i AM cathoic and all, but i dont go to church. and well, we were being... lets say distracting while the chior boys were singing. o_o;; so we kinda got kicked out into this one room. and we started... banging on the doors and moaning to be... very distracting to the people. XD.. and well.. yea. o_o;;;; shaun was one of the chior boys i think. ^-^;... my lips are really really chapped. they iz usually soft. T____T;..... gah.. well i have nothing else to bitch or *shudders* gossip about. so imma gunna go

††koisuru kiseki himitsu wo hodoite @ 4:03††