trying to find the answers... trying to hide the tears
hmm ok
25.o4.o2
hmm. i haven't blogged for awhile. not alot has happened tho. i need a new layout. today was my first day @ dahls god. it was boring.... hmm... my head hurts alot. hmm. chunkachu sed i was purdy latley. o_O? theres not alot to talk ab00t. i'm tired. i want to sleep but we have no school tomarrow.... and i think i'm gunna stay up and watch some late night tv. mmmm brak show and the food-force sorta show. haha i'm a moron i've been listening to morning musume for the last..day or so.... hmm... T_T chunkachu is leaving now. YES, now i switch on to my punk moosic. mmm...... my mom gets this one frozen food thing. and oh my god, its so good. i have no idea what it is. all i know its so damn good **oishii** DAMMIT I WANT MORE FEKKING CHOBITS T_T i have ep 1-3. waaaaa well hmm...... i think i'm going to watch friends, and then.....will and grace, michael douglas is going to play a guy obsessed with will. =O what shananagins will they get themselves into in this episode. wait and see. ^-^ lata!
|she sang her last @ 7:31pm|
i want to fuc|< u like an animal
21.o4.o2
hmm. i'm in a real dark mood. nya i've been listeing to alot of nine inch nails. and some nirvana but, nirvana is normal to me. not dark. i've been bringing the S&M concept into mind... it
does make u think. i probably only thought of it because i was watching
Cool Devices last night and ya know what? theres ALOT of S&M in it X).... ya i bet u think i'm sick, watching hentai. but hey, i don't get off to it. i watch it for shits and giggles. its a
very controversal (spelling -_-;) series. theres so many themes that people would find reaaaaaaaallllllllllly disturbing. but hell, live my life and watch it yourself. T_T where is all my black clothes. nya. i have alot *-*;.. ok theres this one lords of acid song called "darling cum here fuck me up the rear" haha thats a good song. but i like "i must increase my bust" T_T i have no titties so its like, my theme? LMFAO. ok well, i guess i'd like to have smaller titties other than big ass saggy ones. ew. thats wrong. X) get this everyone... i've been in such a wierd mood (oh my god am i on my period or something!?) i've been writing some really wierd ass poetry. nya ok, well i'm the LAST person u'd think would write poetry. i just have some issues that i wanted to write about. o god i wrote this one about eyes! its totally wierd-o. haha but i'll show no one (not even u chunkachu) i just like to keep some things to myself. i dont know... i'm just like that... >< JEEBUS! ozzfest and vans warped tour both, AREN'T COMING TO IOWA. T_T c'mon slipknot, talk to ozzy fo' me. haha *gives corey a cookie* c'mon d00d, i KNOW you. o_o; *bows* i do. ^-^; nya. well, when my dad died was when i last "talked" to him. okokok **flashback**
my daddy and i always talked about moving to australia, and he always said that he wanted to live in the outback. i told my daddy 'when i become famous, daddy we will buy a house in the outback just for you'**YES I'M TELLIN THE TRUTH FUCKER! ><**
and well, he died a couple months after that --he also gave me my last statue *that i collect* -o ya i collect puter statues, they are dragons and mermaids, he gave me the last one that day...it was a sunday, he took me out for lunch and we spent the day together-- and well... when he died, i asked michael about corey, and michael, me, my unkle, **we talked to corey later**, and i brought up the subject on, spreading some of his ashes in australia, sounds pretty far fetched but, i wanted it so bad... and well, michael and i talked to corey about it **real parents, natives to australia-or thats what michael told me** it never happened, we just buried his ashes in his grave, down in redfield, in which i still haven't gone to see. i'm waiting to get a car, so i can go alone. honestly i don't like crying while i'm on the computer, but i think its because this song is on {[Last song: Xjapan]} everyone should download it.
trying to find the answers, trying to hide the tears. T_T my tears are all cold now, nya i'm cold. i'm going to sing my last song...
|she sang her last song @ 10:14am
**SEX ENTRY**
4-20 **2002** X)
doujinshi: WANTED! nya i want this but i also want
THIS! nya. well i have alot of things to talk about...but i don't want to talk about them. @_# i want to get my paycheck 2 weeks early. T_T i hafta start working pretty damn soon. but hell, i got a job. i'm the idiot in the white dress. gawd.
[listening to: shooting star-DDR] hmm... this show is really annoying at times. **lizzy mcguire** i have the worst headache and my stomach hurts, i can't stop coughing. T_T mommy go get me some juice.oh god i hate the disney channel. hmm. i love the song
rape me by nirvana. man i love nirvana. eversince day. o_o 1? well. anyway. it makes me think about rape in a sense. in a way its oh so kinky *bites finger* but... its an oxymoron... u can't rape the willing... hmm than... what is it called... XD OK EVERYONE THIS IS WHERE U BLAST
ROUGH SEX BY LORDS OF ACID. i guess u'd call it rough sex. nyaaa it reminds me of that one ***lemony*** fic of Schuldig x Farfarello...oh my god kids. its so... hot.. @_# o god. i read it so many times and it was so hot when Farfello said
Rape me Schuldig. Fuck my brains out and
Don’t use that. Fuck me now. Without it. RAPE ME!!!! **use what u ask? u'll have to read it ^_~** but yes, thats a great way of..... rape sex... THIS IS THE ENTRY ABOUT SEX. *c'mon mtv is talkin about it, why can't i?!* o god EVERYONE DOWNLOAD "ROUGH SEX" lords of acid. hm. i can't listen to lords of acid when shes awake or...whatever. but anyway. back to the issue of sex.
|she sang her last song @ 1:09|
*sigh* --chii--
19.o4.o2
[listening to: seatbelts/yoko kanno: rain
chii desu ne!? hmm. ash got online to see if shaun was on and got off when he wasn't. hmm. did she even want to talk to me. guess not. god can't i smack some sense into her... and... i can't get him mad at her... otherwise she'll get all sad or MAD at me and start bitching at me to get him to like her again. =_= i wish she still hated his guts. life would be so much... better... T_T i hate myseeeeeeeeelllllllfffff.... hmm... T_T private entry time. too much stress. >< ASH GET IT THROUGH UR HEAD. A-TA-SHI-NO KO-I!!!!!!!!! ><
|she sang her last song @ 9:00pm
nyo shmoo
19.o4.o2
nya hmm... well..... megan is tired. math class really was boring so. AS usual i come on the internet here and just sit and write e-mails. wowie.. hmmm.... CHOBITS IS THE BEST! chii ^-^;; i am starting to say THAT now. HAHAH this one old lady here is wearing her skirt up to her titties. well i'm gunna go. ^-^ luff u shmoo chunkachu nyaa!
|she sang her last song @ 10:52am
nya
18.o4.o2
hmm. well i'm having some problems. i'm not talking to my mother because all she does is critisize me. i told her that and ya know what? she just critisized me more. i have a shit load of other stiff i'm mad ab00t. (nyaaaaaa) hm. well... i just got done watching the 2nd ep of chobits again! (nyaaa i love that show) T_T when duz #3 come out my friends? c'mon give me some answers
love love is the answer, i think about PURE SEX, DEEEEEP sex, HARD sex, ROUUUUUUUGH SEX! nya
rough sex :lords of acid YAY i love this song. *-* nya when i listen to music it makes me feel so much better. nyaa... hmm. i'm going to go on e-bay and look up some chobits stuff. ^-^ maybe i can find some resin kit that i can get. ^________^ ja...
|she sang her last song @ 4:14
koi.... a--ta--shi--NO ><
16.o4.o2
her---|>
i was just going to sit here forever
me----->he probably did u just didn't know
her---|> thinking wheres shaun *cries* and she just went off about how she has been waiting for him. and she doesn't even talk to me anymore about anything but him. everyday she waits for him.. if she loves him so much why dont i just give up. i'd do anything for anyone i love...maybe... >< RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS GET OFF MY LIST NYAAAAA!!! *cries* their songs make me cry. hm. she got off... nya i love chobits. *-* manga so ecchi. just how i like it. and... the theme song (as usual for clamp) is so... *-* kawaiiiiii---! i listen to it over and over-soaking up the lyrics...getting every single word in. >=D nya... hm. today's tuesday... will and grace and scrubs. get in shower at... after scrubs. nya.... my pants are un-done.... nya... how did that happen!? =O i remember i was hot. i shouldn't walk around the house like this. O_O; color of the day is
PINK! nya chunkachu. don't feel like poo poo 'cause megan has *coughs* gackt merchindise *coughs* ^-^; i only luff u. *coughs* hm. well. as long as
she doesn't get on i guess i'll be fine. nya matta ja!
|she sang her last song @ 5:30pm|
nyaaaa schoolage
16.o4.o2
oi! megan iz at school having some fun on the 'puter. ^-^; i wrote chunkachu and e-mail before this. and o boy it was so intresting =O. hmm. i don't know what to say. well... i'm still uber pissed about a few things *coughs* and well... ya... i hate being depressed because all i do is sleep and cry... nya i'm so boring. ACH. the bell is going to ring in a few min.. luff u chunkachu (nyaaaaaahaha rhymage)
|she sang her last song @ 10:28am
*cries* atashi no koi...wakatta?
few hours after previous entry
i don't know why i kinda overreact over things like this... because i know its stupid. but... i can't help myself for being so protective. *cries* a..atashi...no...koi...i hate how she asks me about him all the time. "where is he?" "why isn't he talking to me" "i want to know EVERYTHING about him!" god. ya know. u just... cant expect someone to not feel my way...somehow... she doesn't care...why can't i just... make myself perfect for him. and then change back...? nyaaaaaa..... holy shit.....O_O GOD IS HERE! AND HE.....nyaaaaaaa---. i'm a dork. i love my chunkachu more than anything. hmm... i think i'm going to go to bed. because.... i hate it when i'm depressed... i have to sleep otherwise i'll hurt myself.
|she sang her last song @ 6:24pm|
bizzoch
15.o4.o2
hm... well... i have alot of things to complain about but, i'm kinda mellow. hm... i'm not mad at
her its just that... when i see her... and when i talk to her at times. i want to hit her for being so-i can't explain it. but, shes in LOVE with him and... its not right. because... she knows it bothers me. it bothers me, OH so much... and---he talked to her about it, and she went off on me. so. i don't want to talk to him about it. but. T_T nya, i hate it. ah.... it must be me... i'm so sadistic its nuts... i have so many doubts. i.... am so insecure about everything... i'm so... sick of feeling like this. hm... i can't find a place that i can download the theme song of Chobits. >< DAMMIT. ^-^; i love that song. it has a part in it where Chii sings "dakishimetai no ni" which means something close to "i want to hold you so much" nyaaaaa.... nya, i need to lose some weight. i swear i'm going to be so fat this summer. O_O i'm getting a different swimsuit compared to the one i had spring break. *-* i luff that one... i just don't have the body for it. i think i'll just get that one black and silver one piece. hm... o well i don't give a rats ass. nyo-------i hate people who hate me for being me. god. my mom hates me i swear. i tell her about stupid dreams of mine, like, playing the guitar and going on trips with my friends and.... my dreams of my future, she just throws me down and says i'll never achive them, she says i'll have no money (because i wasn't hired yet to that one job) and then she says i'll drop out of school and i'll never be able to ammount myself to ANYTHING. god. why... she gets me when i'm down. its like... *sigh* i'm fine- if i watch chobits i'll be fine...
|she sang the last song @ 4:29pm
O*-*O kawaii
ya. i bought the chobits manga. la la la it came in today. and blah. But. i just got done watching the first 2 episodes of it.....and.......>D I LOVE IT SO MUCH. ^-^; today i went to the mall and i walked into suncoast and they were selling anime VHS for $5.99 o_o 2 for $10..... so. i bought the next tape of fushigi yugi *which was nuriko...-i watched it a looooong time ago with melissa...her and i were bawling on her couch* haha well YES i am behind on buying anime. and i also bought El hazard. subtitled. usually when its there its $30. wow. and i got my new jeans. and my mom was so mad because they were $50 hahahaha. ^-^; i didn't know i didn't look at the price tag. i love this show. i don't know what the name of the show is. hahaha... i'm super...tired? and i'm going to watch....tv. hahah BYE
|she sang her last song @ 3:00pm
4:00 madness
13.o4.o2
o_o katelin, ur being a backwards bitch. u think ur depressed? nah. i love ya like a sis but u piss me off quite often. @_# c'mon ur mad, u live under the same roof as *joe* *****sweatdrop***** anyway. moving on. hm. today was pretty boring. we went out shopping for some jeans for me. i saw some cool ones at gordmans that had flames on the bottoms of them but they didn't fit. **suprisesuprise** ya thats why hottopic is better. T_T but they always seem to change everything whenever i go there. they either take away the shit i really want or something. hm. my fingernails are too long. i want some shiny nail polish. so i can distract myself for awhile. hm the link for my e-mail doesn't work. hm. suprise suprise. >< i want some apple juice. melissa isn't coming over tonight. shes sick. **thanks to me** tuesday i rolled in her bed and coughed on her bunnies. and hm. that was the night i had to go to the hospital because my temp went to high and stuff. @_# geez megan. its like.... bad karma? dunno. well i'll just sit on my ass like i usually do. *-*;
|she sang the last song @ 4:07pm
wow
13.o4.o2 wif a pussy cat in my lap
ho' well. i just woke up from one hell of a dream. it was good. in a sense. it had eating muffins. shopping in chicago (when we are supposed to be in the ozarks i think) *that might give some of you a hint of why it is so wierd--maybe..dunno*
TIGGER STOP SQUIRMING! ah well. it was good at that. but there are things in there... that i dont feel anymore. *am i sure* but. i don't feel them anymore. its over. and someone else was taken in maybe my place. hm. wow. i go over and think of some of the things that *really* happened between us. and... it made me feel really really special. nya. i can't say any names or what it was or ANYTHING. because... its important to me. >_>; i've been going through my computer taking out shit that we didn't need because, -aren't-u-suprised- i seemed to have already filled up the disk with my music and anime. *nyahaha* but atleast i have finalfantasy11 and YOU don't =P. ^-^; speaking of final fantasy. my layout. its yuna. this layout is dark, just like how i feel 99% of my life and so on. and hence "its difficult". yea. well.....o_o "last song" just turned on- no one call me no one talk... yoshiki's talking. O_O! ki------re-----...
|she sang the last song @ 9:12am|
