kimi ga inakya nani mo nakatta [lonliness truely is beautiful..] //vers.15//

Thursday, September 19, 2002
everyday after school i come home and i check my e-mail. i leave my messenger on saying that im sleeping and then i go into my room and sleep. >.o i think im having some major sleep problems because i do it too much. i think i need to... drink coffee and stay up or my life will just... pass me byy... or something of the sort. today was quite fine. i didn't have any nervous breakdowns like i usually do in japanese for my own personal reasons that i still dont know. we had a map test... and it sucked ass i know i got a F on it. but hey... its ok... i will just. actually turn in my homework this year and maybe i can keep my grade up to a smooth... b. i finished 'the coven' last night and... i swear. if bree, raven and sky try to break up cal and morgan im going to like... KILL o_o. yes... its a book and yet i take it so seriously. because the person writes so good... ah i will one day write something and share it. ah i keep having odd thoughts that pop up in my head and i space out.. and when i come back to reality... i have realized that i wasn't listening to what anyone was saying. yes, and its bad... BAD... lol. anyway. im going to go and write in my livejournal about the days activities just like i did in here :D genki today...
o_o sinch is my woman(s) >D -[02:19 p.m.]

Saturday, September 14, 2002
and he said take my hand, live while you can and if we walk now we will divide and conquer this land.. yesterday.... night was quite... stressfull. well i got on with my 56k... i was getting kicked off like, every few minutes because i have a feeling tommie kept trying to call my brother like she usually does (every 2 mintes) god... i hate needy women.. they need to be slapped. hmm. well moving on, i got pissed after the 8th time i got kicked off and i just said "fuck this, im hooking up the dsl" i did so, it took me about 20 minutes. and it was quite easy, since we already have the internal modem. i just had to plug in the external one and use the setup. ah... i love knowing about computers more than my mother and john put together.. well after that i was quite pleased with myself and i started taking all the phones and connecting filters to them like the good girl i am... me and shaun fought pretty much all night. ookii damme... at one point i said that he was acting like a dick. no.. not pene.. pene is humorous... (god i love the word pene >>) hmm.. well i think we worked things out and things are going to eventually be ok between us. hopefully.. ah.. anyway.. i waited for a video to finish.. which didn't finish by the time i was tired.. so i just waited until the song 'twilight' by boa finished. (damn good song) i have yet to find the lyrics.. because the person that sings twilight and then the person that sings... the... jpop shiznit... are 2 completley different people.. i think. i will check that out. >.o i found the lyrics.. damn im good..And you still want it the inner sanctity and it's an evil but the evil is necessary
Main Entry: sanc·ti·ty Pronunciation: 'sa[ng](k)-t&-tE Function: noun Inflected Form(s): plural -ties Etymology: Middle English saunctite, from Middle French saincteté, from Latin sanctitat-, sanctitas, from sanctus sacred Date: 14th century 1 : holiness of life and character : GODLINESS 2 a : the quality or state of being holy or sacred : INVIOLABILITY b plural : sacred objects, obligations, or rights
ya know... just so you dont know what it means. hm.. i woke up this morning and watched up to chobits ep 23. i want more, but as usual... kazaa doesn't have 24 yet. maybe its not... out yet.. i think it came out sometime this week. i should check the clamp site to make sure ya know... hmm.. well i have a layout in mind. its black. and its from X i hope it works out.. because its hella cool.... so... matta
-[10:39 a.m.]

Friday, September 13, 2002
ive been bad. i really should be bitch slapped. very VERY hard.. well i have a really bad case of pms. and... the red demon seems to just.. dispise my presence so it just wants to killllll meeeeee with cramps. (yes i know u ALL wanted to know my woman problems) i rather be an EXTREMLEY female looking guy w/o a dick and balls... and id like a pair of breasts as well.. ok i just wish i didn't have the damn monthly visit from hell itself... hmm.. school so far has been ok, my leg is healing. and when my leg heals my foot goes crazy and starts screaming out MEGAN DIE so in return i get a assload of pain... im limping like brad is. even worse... aaahaha... musashi looks like a skittles or starburst package today.. how GENKI.. speaking of that, i drew the farfie the genki lesbian picture for chibi. she likes it. eventhough its quite shoujo... well anyway... anything else.. tomarrow i think i will be hurting alot accoutning that i have a day of shopping to do, cooking curry and then turn on the tv in time for inu yasha. dubbing is quite scary, but thats ok... ah i just had a bad thought.. well its good; but... its bad in a different way.. dont ask.. ive been acting quite odd latley.. very VERY odd.. hmm.. class is almost over. thank god.. im bored...
x_x soba ni ite? -[01:45 p.m.]

Thursday, September 12, 2002
>> musashi kun no kowaii desu... he brought in a cd for japanese class and... omg its about the scariest thing ive heard... hence, the japanese version of barbie girl and gangsters paradice (a la dangerous minds) and then there was some pokemon song on there that named every single pokemon... i was like.. scared... it was quite scary. >_> and he also was like... the man version of me today which was even creepier... he must die in the depths of hell from wearing what he did today. i want his backpack though... blarg. its all good. im in a good mood accounting of the events of the previous 2 weeks. one of my friends told me "you need a hard slow fuck" and i said "gee thanks :D ill be sure to NOT keep that in mind" maybe thats just her way of saying "get laid" but i translate it as ":D all i think about is sex... blarg" wow... there is some song on my cd that is like, really cool... i have no idea what it is though... sa-weetness... this is a old cd melissa made for me a couple summers ago. you can tell its quite old by the digimon songs (sang by yaaaaamaaatooo)and then there is a really good limp bizkit song (boiler) and annou.. well lets just say, this is the stage when i crawled back to the english mode of music, i have a nice balance of both worlds... so blah. :D well i need to 'look stuff up' the librarian is bitching at the bosnians.. bad elvis and hermin. yes that is their real names
dont eat green cheese -[01:23 p.m.]

Thursday, September 12, 2002
did i ever tell you i have a cold hate for preps... >_> just thought that id mention it... just so you know. i REALLY hate preps.. accounting ones that i used to go out with and now they sit next to me over there *points to her left*
-[10:05 a.m.]

Thursday, September 12, 2002
OMFG.... *hyperventalates* I FOUND THE ANTI NOSTALGIC TRANSLATION... here it is...Transparency dyes the night sky, and I walk alone on the road that always leads home. Singing to myself, I want to send these kinds of feelings to you in your sleep, oh, um... I'm tangled up in something; I'm getting a little sick of myself -- tangled up in the feelings to convey to those days that have been left behind... The heart I've forgotten somewhere is starting to hurt a little. I keep searching for you in a night lit by the stars that are bound to that time. I place my feelings on the receding clouds on the road home, where I pause to stand. You are already a part of my continuing dreams; I know that (those feelings) can't possibly reach you from here. The tears keep falling; jut by being able to be close to you, I'm starting to want a smile, just a little... Someone asks questions; I'm starting to want this to make more sense. You cast those too-brilliant days into a fading shadow. I'm tangled up in something; I'm getting a little sick of myself -- tangled up in the feelings to convey to those days that have been left behind... The heart I've forgotten somewhere is starting to hurt a little. I keep searching for you in a night lit by the stars that are bound to that time... i just printed out the kanji to it hoping i could figure it out somehow and eventually make a layout with it... dont ask. i have a complicated mind. hmm.. at the moment i cant find my cd with that song on it about a billion times because its a bitch. so im listening to some old cd i made when i first got my computer. woo.. which consists of cardcaptor music and some two mix... dammit... where the hell are my damn lyrics... ahh there, it printed. now to wait and see it its there... >> after those people leave.. i know them.. i dont want to converse with such people at the moment, let alone aanyone.. ahh it printed... thank god.. but someone jsut took it.. goddammit... bastard... i shall print again.. but i dont know when class ends... DAMN... wtfh... wierd printer... well ok.. enough of me babbling... i have my japanese homework done so im genki... but im depressed and i hate people... japanese club after school. x___x... blarg... wow... the printer made the kanji very readable. im serious. its like... almost... too clear... ::shudders:: be frightened... >_> well i got what i needed...
shuichi that bleeds -[09:40 a.m.]

Wednesday, September 11, 2002
ah.... today much better. no breakdowns or anything of the sort. but i am quite cold and i seem to be wearing uhh... 2 sweaters. x_x... match match until u BLEED... well today IS september the 11th, just think. a couple years ago this day meant absolutley nothing to people but, like... cheese. ah, but our country will survive and so shall i. sarah made me eat today (damn you woman) and my stomach hurts because of it. damn me and my weakness for french fries and bbq sauce. (squeegasm) i am thinking that we might get the dsl up tonight and then i can... become my usual internetness self... >> i vant to be friends with... blarg... damn him and his access to... shiznit. well fuck it all and i shall dance like i have never danced before in a puddle of blood.
ATASHI NO KOIBITO WA.... >> -[01:25 p.m.]

Tuesday, September 10, 2002
[rocks my world: everybodys free |to feel good|]
this song is good. must listen to it again. yes, kids i am at school. and i think that we might go get a router or something pretty soon so i can get my ass back online so i can... talk to people.. x_x it is much needed in a bad and good way... at some degree. ah.. today was pretty boring. and to dress down for once, i wore scrubs and a t-shirt. i look like a girllllll skaaaater. in which can be a good thing for all the people who like skater girls. my mom said i look like a mix between michelle branch, vanessa carlton and avril. good compliment in my part. i get the michelle/carlton quite often. but its just because of the dark hair and whatnot.. its going to be a long walk home. all i need is a ponytail holder, and my headphones. x_x but im thirsty... fuck.. well i think we have bottled water at home...hopefully. well its kinda cold out today. thornton made us run the mile today. he was just talking about what we were gunna do today and he just slipped in we were gunna run the mile and then do individual circuits. its all good. its past. i could care less wheither i do the mile or not. i got a bad score though because my chest and my SHOES. which were lucky last year accounting that i got quite good. x_x this time i got 10:25. 4 laps... while the sprinkler system was going on. i wore a blue bra today... and i dont think u could see it through my white shirt fer p.e but. it doesn't matter.. i could care less. i am not... oogleable.. >> people who oogle me should be smited... and smacked fer great justice.. blarg. marc is my new... uhh... advice giver. i felt somewhat down today and he gave me some advice and now im ok. or maybe it was the mocha latte i had fer lunch, which was unbelievably good. i think u can see my asscrack in these pants. >> *pulls shirt down*... ah and i learned that musashi chose his name becaaauuuuuse the guy.. videogame... or japanese legend.. whichever one u pick well he used a wooden sword to defeat people. very admirable, joe... u still suck. -__x i have my own crazy reasons. hah remember this face @_#. wow i haven't used that forever.
It's over and done but the heartache lives on inside And who's the one you're clinging to instead of me tonight? And where are you now, now that I need you? Tears on my pillow wherever you go I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean You never see me fall apart In the words of a broken heart it's just emotion taking me over Caught up in sorrow lost in the song but if you don't come back Come home to me, darling don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight Goodnight, goodnight
x_x damn song.. i like it. and well riiiight.. anyways. ACH.. my december is playing *stabs cd and listens intentivley* i like this song... but imma gunna change it. ooooh and now its aerosmith.... and guess what song it is... yes, i dont want to miss a thing. what was i thinking when i made this cd. and i remember making it. i was sick and i was like... all watching love music videos or something. man... ok im going to keep it at this song that i haven't heard for awhile. 'power of goodbye' by madonna. ok wait a minute.. dammit well... im just babbling and ya know what, im going to keep babbling until class is over and its tuesday and its long classes and my last class, i can go home but i rather be on this compy than go home and clean my damn room because thats bad. ah.. lets see.. i will walk home slowly and then i walk walk into the house and most likley go into my room and sleep. u know im depressed if i sleep ALOT because it keeps myself from crying and or cutting myself, so its a good thing that im sleeping. well i might eat something. i haven't really aten anything for awhile. im becoming one of those girls that like, forgets to eat and after a few days or so they are like "wow my stomach hurts, maybe i should EAT something" har har har.. well i think that its about time for me to eat. i will have one of those peppers in the refrigerator. X9.... those are good. or i will have a sandwich. blarg, talking about food is making my chest hurt or something. hm... well its..1:18 *twitch* class doesn't end for... about.. *twitch* about 55 minutes. *cries* well i think i can find something to do until then. IF I HAD MESSENGER... but no, its shit. i cant download msn messenger on here, and if i do, its not like anyone would be online because everyone is at school. fuck them all, bastards. skip school and do drugs, smoke crack and worship satan. >/ i start to talk all satanic like when im pissed. FUUCK... ok.. im good. well hmm... somebody e-mail me. because for the next hour im going to stare at my inbox and refresh every 5 minutes. sounds good..
dance dance dance until you BLEED -[12:56 p.m.]

Monday, September 9, 2002
a little change from my normal peachish/whiteish complection... today about a couple of seconds after the bell rang in japanese class (which was about 45 min ago) i started having really sharp pains in my chest... really really bad attack this time, so i ran to kanai sensei and i said i had to go get a drink, i started to get a cold sweat and whatnot. it was quite scary.. i turned over to sarah asking her if my face was red and she said that i was pale... well kids, i am normally paler than the average joe, accounting that i dont go outside or go tanning that much anymore... therefore i was quite scared... i started to shake a little and started to breathe harder. but all in all im fine now, still a little shaky and my face is still white. im ok, i just need to take some advil and take a long nap in which i wont be able to do for a week or so. megan is stressed, and i 'vant' (haaaahaha. swedishness) to... leave here... blarg... is a funny word... i think the meathead that was sitting next to me couldn't figure out how to use the cd players on the computer. damn football players, damn them all to hell... well at least the stupid ones. the other ones are quite nice to me. or maybe its because i give them ice cold water when they are dying of heat. >.o stinky ass sweaty males. *coughs* eyyyyy melissa.. >> nick (trix boy) is behind me again. imagine that. and suprise suprise... musashi kun in japanese club. must i quit for no reason or because of my own stupidity or.. embarassment. i hate school and boys.. good combination... stick to the music and the goods... which consists of the music... kylie minouge: everything went from wrong to right and the stars went up and filled up the sky, the music you were playing u were playing really blew my mind, it was love at first sight'cause baby when i heard you for the first time i knew we were meant to be as one... **repeaaaaaat** x_x wow i like this song... it kylie minouge rocks my world... la la la... dance dance.. i need to play some ddr... >_> ashitaka..... live... 20... blocks.... away... >.o shall walk.. blarg.. i need windows XP... reformatting my compy... =O! i lost it... damn damn damn.. i had nightmares friday night chibi... i TOLD you i would.. damn hellsing... which rocks... there were dead bodies in my house, which my house was papa rays house (ex governer of iowa... >_> put that in your pipe and smoke it, bitch)
yes my skin IS pale.. -[01:30 p.m.]

Monday, September 9, 2002
aah... ive been having some major chest problems for the last week or two... same with the fever thing but i guess its just the norm because it means im depressed and YES kids i am. im having some sort of ordeal and i think its just some big misunderstanding but when it comes to people saying they dont love you as much anymore thats when it comes to the point where i look for my glass... and ya know what... its gone and im SO PISSED about that. so instead of hurting myself i turn it to 105.1 and i sleep. i slept alllll day on saturday and it felt REALLY good. i got up and switched rooms for a variety ya know. and i started to watch Pootie Tang. Melissa called and i talked to her like everything was great. maybe this whole depression thing is because shes gone. i know thats some point of it. i know my school day would be a hell of alot brighter if she was here. but life goes on, ill move on and stop dwelling on the things i want but i dont have. shaun thinks i love jesse and from what i said on the phone with ash... (well i think i just laughed my fake laugh in which it sounds a hell of alot like rodneys lumberjack laugh) oh yeah i must remember that shaun is from redfield. x_X not earlham... yes... i will... remember i will... aaanyway... lets see... sleeping all day, pootie tang, phone.. oh yea.. im getting some sort of money weekly. because john doesn't want me to get a job because he thinks it will interfere with my educaaation... and me, hating the working aspect... loves the idea, i just need to clean up after myself change the cat litter and whatnot and im off free everyweek with a cool $40 bucks in my pocket.. hm.. well last night sleeping was quite hard but it was because i didn't have the radio on like it usually is now-a-days... but now 107.5 only plays like... DJ sammie 24/7... and it really URKS me.. hah.. im coming to the point to where i dont like to talk anymore... or breaaaaaathe... because my chest hurts. and if what i think is true (shaun + ash... >.o) then i have a feeling that my stomach will feel the pain as well. last time this happened i didn't eat solid foods for over a week... i liked losing the weight tho... but it was an eerie way.. because i looked quite odd and i look scary when my jeans that are supposed to be somewhat snug are quite... at my ankles... haaaaaha... well bell raaaaang i must go to english
fuck the peeople -[10:00 a.m.]

Friday, September 6, 2002
mm... mm... i figured out how to use the ibm cd players at school. im quite satisfied with myself. i signed on aim express but all it did was lag the fuck outta me. so i closed out --sorry calvin-- today i was thinking that i was gunnabe quite moody and sad but eventually i just said fuck it all and i got all genki as usual. im still blushing from god knows what.. >_> :: i am god ::.. maria (she spells it different from that but... it works) but wow, she said i was really red.. damn it all.. >D hah. well today has become quite productive, i finished my japanese homework in art, and my legs ARE stable... i should be counting the days for when steven comes back but. Oo that sounds quite odd.. HAHAHA... *cough* i need to stay sophisticated, this is a library ya know. yesterday anne, chibi and i were walking to annes car and i saw some suv with a dc talk sticker so i was like ">D U ROCK" and then the license plate said "hiongod" and... im sorry but that shit is funny... (omg there is a girl right next to me standing wearing the shortest shorts ive ever seen >_>) anyway anne said "i get high off of g-o-d" and.. we starting saying that quite hmm... oddly. but it was fun. im starting to think i need to finish my japanese homework, but theres always resource with chibi next. =P! hah... x_x *stabs musashi kun with her blunt spoon* LOOK AT ME WHORE >.o... wow im quite controlling when i want to be. ah, speaking of the seme/uke sort of thing... im more uke... i love to be dominated *-* it... is... so.. EROTIC ::rolls r's:: and sometimes i will be seme... but, not as much. because i guess im lazy in the sex world. =P prolly not... hahaha.. x_x i get turned on now a days by licking lips. x__X!!! wowness...hahaha... i think that someway the girl next to me is probably reading this getting off... somehow, i dun think females can do that... males can. *punches ryan* ugh... 9th grade field trip.. that was terrible... i was soaked *-*... ok... well everyone.. today im MUCH better than yesterday. im more in a... how do you say... happy mood, mind you. i just need ONE more thing and maybe life would be perfect. ;D few know what it is. "good things come to those who wait" in which i know that what i wont really...come to me. so... i can dream for awhile because i guess dreaming is all that i do now. >_> eventhough last time i dreamt.. IT WAS TRUE AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT... -__- gah... my luck suuuuucks... wellll.... to paraphraaase my day... i woke up, whined, cried ALOT, and went to school, and i died... the end :D GENKI STORY GONE BAD!
genki nuriko w/ a CLEAVER.... -[01:30 p.m.]

Thursday, September 5, 2002
yes once again i have been a fool and believing things that sounded too..... umm.. fishy.. and well i got lied to... and i know it was the truth because.. i just know. and ya know what.. its just like it was in june. and this time i can be stronger about it.. and not cry and not bleed.. (i threw away the piece of glass, mind you... i didn't know if i had a box to put it in) and well.. to make this short because i need to cook... im not ever going to be lied to again... and if somebody lies to me again and says they didn't lie to me.. well then they will be quite lonley..... *sigh* yes... if melissa was here i would be about a BILLION more times genki. i miss her so much.. and.. ha.. i did learn something about.. jesse that made me feel so.. loved... it made me smile.. very very much so.. ah sou... im listening to Boiler from Limp... hahaha remember melissa, the really creepy ass music video? *______* nostalgic... ::downloads anti nostalgic knowing she is gunna listen to it tomarrow and cry:: Marc, if u read this.. x_x walk me tomarrow... i need someone to keep me standing unless anne gives me a ride. x_x btw... akiosensei no KOIBITO 8X...... hm.. well.. i found my slipknot cd... bow down to cory taylor.. my friend.. i need a sharp object... >> shit on you mothers of america.. (randomness)
--boiler-- -[08:12 p.m.]

Thursday, September 5, 2002
>_> blah blah blah... mhmm.. well im at a computer at school. i have about.. 15 min probably. therefore... last night my mom was trying to get the 56k up and running so we could check our e-mail and so she could get her e-mail from quest... to get the dsl up. to make a long story short we have a 40 ft phonecord going throughout our house because the phone jacks in the computer room(s) are pieces of CRAP (::rolls her r's like the italian bastard she is::) so i took a nap thinking that i wont be able to get online for awhile... blah blah blah mom wakes me up around 7:30 and i try and get on with the 56k. >_> omg... it should DIE... *hugs the schools computers with T1 modems* laaa.... well i got on, shaun wasn't on so i raised hell for that.. he got on about 5 min later and i was like squeeling for great justice.. nyahahahah.. well we talked and la la la, i had to get off right awayyy because john and my mom were bitching at me ab00t how my dinner was getting cold. x_X omg we are a family now. ::glares at john:: no.. well anyway.. i ate went to bed. x_X and i listened to some music that i haven't listened to... for a few years... well.. in my prep stage.. nyahaha.. well i need to update mah livejournal... JA NE
shits and giggles -[08:11 a.m.]

Tuesday, September 3, 2002
hey yo... moving blows cow balls but hey im still alive.. im just happy that today i have block classes (in which means that my classes are about an hour and 1/2 long so... boring as hell) so for my last hour.. which is studyhall i came here to the damn library to.. do absolutley nothing.. and i DO have some homework that needs to be finished but hey, theres always... home to do that sort of thing, ne ne. anyway... moving sucked so bad. i was so stinky.. woo.. woo... but its all done so we are just basically unpacking and such. i set up our computer yesterday and i just noticed that i CANT survive without my damn internet... its like everything i do on it is... uhh... short story even shorter... blah dsl rules my computer... un un.. im checking my e-mail. BLAH my space is almost... full.. hey melissa... trix guy is sitting RIGHT behind me.. ::evil smile and giggle:: HIS NAME IS NICK! (fyi) anyways... i just got done writing a couple e-mails to shaun... and i just finished reading jerrys od... blah....when shaun DOES update its not ALWAYS about me.. and even if it is.. i like it.. so PUT THAT IN YO PIPE AND SMOKE IT. >| i love my goddamn chunkachu... ^-^ much love and such...
::looks behind self and squeels:: -[12:58 p.m.]

Wednesday, August 28, 2002
megan had a really good day in many ways... he.. he.. he.. well we still did have hour and 1/2 classes but hey. that means japanese for an hour and 1/2... staring and oogling.. hahaha.. anyway i was thinking if i should go to homecoming or not. i probably wont. i need some buddahs to go with... marc told me he might ask saharu. *-* omg thats so fucking cute its crazy... and for some odd reason we got to the issue of me being ugly. i think it was something like paying for someone to come with me so im not lonley. lol and i said "im not THAT ugly" and he said that im not ugly but not hot hot. he says im way above average. id hug you marc but yer head reaches my boob and for some other reasons that EVERYBODY KNOWS *clings to chunka* meow... but that really made my day, hes my friend and he thinks of me as way above average. THANK YOU MARC... lol >_> *stares at musashi kun* ...... hoshiiiiiiiiii..........desu... bleh.. sukiness... friday we are having an anime night at mariko-sempai's house. WHEEEEEE!!! 8D!!! we are still thinking of what to watch and whatnot.. bleeehness... the ride home today was quite intresting... anne drove me home... screaming out the window is more fun than i thought x_X!!! especially if u are calling Zane... SPARKLES... blah well ive had enough fun fer today
redstar will rule -[04:52 p.m.]

Sunday, August 25, 2002
sunday, august 25th, 2002
[turns me on: my friends over you]
ugh im pissed... FUCKING LIQUID2K ISN'T WORKING BECAUSE THEY ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING CUNTS!!! ::takes a deep breath:: ok... review of my last week.. i started school the 21st.. it was boring as hell, ya know, they go through their guidelines and rules and whatnot, they are pretty... uhh... whats the word it just means.. unstrict.. i can bring something to drink to basically all my classes, friday i was eating cheetos with christina in english or w/e... but overall school has been pretty tight ass... i have something to do!! lol... x_x i have some homework to do.. ::starts adding how many credits she has:: being a football and wrestling manager gives u a credit i think. bwahahaha XD!! basketball manager sounds kinda cool... o_O!!! football... blah all the boys are so stinky. >_>!! its so gross lol, but when u give them a waterbottle of ice cold water they are dying and whatever, but they still have the energy to say "thank you".. but it makes me feel short because just little 5'6 me compared to all the 6 ft males surrounding you taking the water and whatnot. x_x omg i still need to warsh the stink off of meeeeee... but overall i like it. japanese is better this year!!! but its in the edges of the school, like in the end of NOWHERE, i was like "wth... room what?" blah well school is cool now, i have some current issues homework to do, followed by a couple pages of math homework to do... ACH.. many things to do @_@!! much love and such!
[12:16]

-[12:04 p.m.]

Tuesday, August 20, 2002
tuesday, august 20th 2002
[turns me on: 6 o' clock news on the tv]
yes kiddies, its 6:40 from what bobbie silvernail the news lady on the tv hasta say... HELP ME REGAIN MY SANITY... im supposed to be sleeping until 12 or something today because i start school tomarrow. but no... i am awake... and goddammit, im TWEAKED... its the gir shirt, i bet.. ah i have yet to tell about my little session at hottopic yesterday... i got a few things and ended up spending around 150$!!... but they were having a sale sort of thing that if u buy 150$ of shiznit... u get 25% off.. so.. it was a cool total of 117$... i bought an invader zim t-shirt that i am wearing right now, with my buddy... GIR on it.. and hes saying "somebody needs a hug" hug me while im wearing this shirt... (and if u aren't either female or shaun) you will have a nice kick in the nutsack for your early christmas present, ne ne?... i also got a hello kitty t-shirt (that melissa also has) and its PUNK hello kitty, hence she has a shirt on that says "ki-ra-i" which from my knowlege.. it means... HATE. i also got the most kick ass sweater in the WORLD. (saftey pins and all, mind you) its black... extra long bell sleeves... and saftey pins make it my new favorite toy. eh... ::thinks:: i also got a hello kitty watch and alarm clock set (that matches my t-shirt) ah... i got a necklace (little last minute) which is black leather with rainbow rings on it... uhm... i also got a pink floyd pin (to match my moms ramones one) uhhmm.. we got nailpolish that rocks my world... and my mom got graham a curt cobain t-shirt in which iwas gunna get but NO... >_> she said that she was gunna get it fer him... bleh.. bastard.. FEH.. ah.. new as a baby... school clothes.. tonight my journey fer a pair of jeans continues.. so i have a nice pair of.. PANTS to wear tomarrow.. from my luck i will have a break out of the year over night. >_>... i wash my face too much now-a-days.. and i still break out over.. STRESS.. ::clings:: but we are ok now!!! HAPPY? what the hell.. why do the people in those weight loss pills commercials think that they can fool us with images of a fat blob and then an anorexic twig... >_> and make me think they are the same person when the fat person is chinese and the skinnah one is black! FEH... well im going to frollic around the house with a cup and a 1/2 of chocolate milk (made by me.. the bought stuff is THICK!!) and fall on my face..... into a sugar pile.. the adventures of being high in the mind. HO NANA! >_> feh...

//6:44// benkyo shimasu!
-[06:37 a.m.]

Monday, August 19, 2002
monday, august 19th, 2002
[turns me on: story: gackt]
yesterday i went to nana and papas house for dinner (trans: went over to grandpa and grandmas for lunch) i loved it there... i sat on the couch and talked to papa (grandpa) and he talked about what happened over the last year. he turned his head to me at one point and laughed. suprisingly i started to cry. i think it was because i was either so happy i was home... or so sad because i couldn't stay forever. we had dinner eventually and it was great. the best food ever.. as usual. we had a roast a little set back from the ordinary italian food. but it was great, afterwards we had some lush, and me and nana cleaned up after wards. we then went through lots of things that were left at daddys house. i left tons of things for storage.. so i could get them back when we are already moved and settled into our new house. one thing that caught my eye, that i actually bring home, was music box, that played 3 different songs. "love story, sunrise sunset, and romeo and juliet" i knew it was papas and i remeber playing with it when i was little so i made sure to bring it home. (along with notebooks of my old drawings when i was 3... omg they are dreadful) after we went through everything i went upstairs and took a nap, and i cried. for reasons are unknown to me. i was waken up by my wonderful brother >>... and we drove home... i went home and, me and shaun faught.. not just one of those bad fights we have... this one was worse.. came to the point where i couldn't really say anything because my chest hurt so bad... i told him that we needed a break.. and i should know better... because my friends tell me that we cant live without eachother. i know i cant live w/o him. i dont know how he feels. i just feel terrible. i slept well though, but i always do. i had dreams about us like we weren't even fighting. but what do dreams say... nothing to me at least they just give me dejavu. well im going to go and watch some tv. and milk and oreos sound good... ah.. oreos.. i want some cookies and cream ice cream. gah.. im hungry..

//11:41am// benkyo shimasu!
-[11:19 a.m.]

Saturday, August 17, 2002
August, saturday 17th 2002

[turns me on: adidas: korn]
layout finally up, ne ne... >_>... i started it kinda a couple days ago, just with the picca... and i luv the picca... just a little.. fanservice.. well yesterday was my birthday and i was planning on just sleeping all day because my mom was at classes. instead i went out to lunch with brynn and ashley. then i went over to brynns house and we were making fun of how slow her computer is. which we were on for 3 seconds. then we walked around the neighborhood. and then we we went to ashleys house and i saw ROMEO. omg i am in LOVE with him!! yes i am in love with a cat. T__T i want him but my mom says no because she says grown cats dont get along... but anyway... my mom says i wont be able to get my birthday presents for a few more months.. which.. is kinda silly... since yesterday was my birthday... and uhh... right... i cried ALOT today.. and i ran upstairs a few times to keep my cool. oh and more about yesterday, i went to ohanas steakhouse and i brought sarah, she got me the first mars manga and the 4th peach girl. *-* omg mars is so good... imma gunna die if i dont get #2 IMMA GUNNA GO BESERK!! moving on, at ohanas i got my picture taken and everything. bleh.. i had the best cheesecake in the world... well pretty close.. anyway... i got home, read mars... i CRIED.. *-* thats how my life shall be. im going to like.. be kira.. *-*... ::writes in LJ:: bleh that stuff musn't be told to the public. much love

//9:28pm// benkyo shimasu!
-[09:12 p.m.]