there is a dot on my monitor =O

07.07.02

o_o who would ever know megan would enjoy a christian rock song. *coughs* yeeeaaaaa... when i went to this church thingie with katelin and joey, (GAH i had to read from a BIG ass bible infront of TOO MANY PEOPLE!!!!!! -_- let alone i started to talk really high and softly) anyway. they had the "christian rock 105.1" o_O;;; so den all 3 of us decided to have a convo about how most christian rock blows. =O but then i said "P.O.D rocks the party =D!!" and then yea... i rather NOT speak or think about that day. *shudders* public speaking megan isn't good... it took me too long to learn now to pronounce zion... i think it was zion.. or was it xion.... =| goddammit dont make fun of me!!!!!! anyway *shudder* i want mama to come back with the camera. =| dammit fool im addicted to it!!! o_O i can only take pictures of myself in the mirror. lol so then i can make sure they dont suck. and yet... they still do... and i need-ta take piccies of my bayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeee'z. (malenkio and tiggah) =| shaun sed he thinks i look goth. ;-; why does everyone call me goth. i have nothing against it. but i dont condemn god and so forth. =| im more religious then people think *shrugs* but hell, i haven't been to church for so long and i live a 2 blocks away from my church. o_o tells you somethin'.... anyway... mama said i should've cleaned the house for her birthday. HAAAAAAAHAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA *looks around* *sings* so fresh so clean* OMG!!! this is what mamas birthday card sed from john i was like XO WHAT A SWEETHEART!!!!!
susie
i love you with all my heart and feel alone when you are not around me. You make everyone around you special and no one feels more special then i do when im with you
i love always,
john

*whipes away a tear* hes a writer. =| ok??? no seriously. he is. o_O;;; my mom says that he just chooses not to get any of his stuff published. she also sed that some of his stuff has been in magazines. *shrugs* i wouldnt know. o_______o.... im so bored. ;-; lonlinessssssssssssss..... ive been watching people be doin some kick ass moves on DDR. =| my loooooove....... =P bai bai cyberlaaaaaand. ;D

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 12:03PM||

FWAK
06.07.02
MUMSAHS BIRTHDAY! sing to her!!
o_o yea... get this... she called me at like 11 last night and said 'guess what john got me' i was almost positive it was a ring. o_o but no... 'a digital camera!' and the first thing i looked at was... message window-shaun. o__o and i was like "o fwak a duck =|" anyway... she told me and he said that he was planning on getting her an engagment ring. =| but noo... the one he wanted to get her was 00 or something =| fool... instead he spent about 0 on a damn camera. **lol i think its the shit** hm... im going to take a picture of compy. =) wont u like that compy? *pats compys monitor* yea... good boy... lol. anyway. i got waken up from the damnnnnnnnnnnnn phone. evil piece of shit. =| i sat and took the camera and started taking pictures of my mom while she was on the phone. (we learned how to use the way older version in school) =| this one uses a memory thingie... not a disk. i made a video of all tigger. XD!!!! and then i took a couple piccies of myself in the mirror. lol i e-mailed those to shaun... and i was like "=| dood im ugly, live with it lol" i didn't say that. but.. yea... *yawn* im going back to bed. grawr... dont bother me. DDR is tiring... ;-;

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 3:01pm||

ureshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii x infinity!!
03.07.02

o_o read ash'z pita. O_O WE ARE BOTH REALLY REALLY HAAAAAAAPPPYYYYY!!! ;-; i got to voice wif chunkachu today. and when compy was being a bitch he sent me a voice uhh.. clip. and i listen to it over and over. >> his voice is.. freekin... *drools* nya-ha-ha-ha... and... everything is going to stay cool forEVER! =O suddenly ash will be like "JUS KIDDIN! we aint movin FOO!" and then we will frollicingly be freekin best friends foeeeeeevah! and and and then shaun will be like "=O me is movin to iowaaaaaaaaaaaa" and den and den. >D and THEN!!!!!!! me and ash go on our kick ass road trip --like planned-- XD and den we will be in a band and and and den... XD i will be married to chunkachu and we live haaaaaaaapppilllllyyyyy evah aftahhhhh... and and den. *-* life is perfect right now... tomarrow im going over to ash's house for the 4th of july... THANK YOU SO MUCH! she saved me from hell.. i would've probably ended up slapping one of my little fuck-of-cuzinz... =| all young little pricks. i slapped one last year... =| and i probabaly would've this year... its tradition now, lucas... why dont u wear a nut cup and hockey mask around me =@ punk.. hahha i dont know why i hate him so much. =O hey ash, was it you that was with me that lucas asked us if we could read his pokèmon cards!? LOL i think it was. XD... dumb fuck... hahaha... leo is my buddah. XD hes so freaking cool. imma going to take a picture of me and him and then i will put it on here. o_O; maybe... XD but i want one of me and emma though. emma is my chinese cousin. shes so cute. shes... 1? ah... leah loves me.. XD she looks like a monkey but i luff her. is it the happiness talking or am i like.. wierd.. lol. i think my next layout will be... MEATLOAF!!! o_o... earlier today... was wierd... voicing wif shaun and changing your clothes is quite different. esecially when u are like "what should i wear!?" and "ARGH I CANT FIND MY DAMN SHIRT!" and earlier i was walking around w/o any panties on because i couldn't find the ones i was lookin for! hahaha anyway.. before i was walking around pantiless... yea.. today was boring.. i woke up at 10:30.. my mom said "its pathetic we both wake up at this same time to watch the end of the view and then tune into young and the restless" im like "its too early" and she said ">> i feel like its my fault that i got you into soaps" haha "it was mommy" after i saw ralph and larry fall off the cliff, after laughing because the rock was hollow =O i checked my e-mail. ^-^ one from chunkachu one from uhh.. i think it was about a degree or something.. ^-^ i love getting e-mail. i feel lonley if i dont get any. lol... i was going to make those brownies for mama's b-day... saturday. but im going to make them tomarrow day and bring it to ash's house. o_o YOU like cheesecake chocolate brownies, right??? hahaha i cant eat alot. lol ^-^;; hehehe.. o_o;; ahaha read this about cool devices...
OH MY GOD, GUYS GET SOME TISSUE READY!!
Hey all DJ Chengster here, ready to review, the serues in question, COOL DEVICES must be one of the coolest series i've watched, its a little bit messy and a little bit sick but that makes it that much the better, lets just say bad mistress + electro shock = FUN!! Guys I suggest you break out the tissue cuz you get 4 hours of wack material on this one! ENJOY!!
just an FYI. lol. XD... i have yet to finish downloading Buttobi CPU.. ive only seen episode 1. XD its so damn cute!!!well.. im off to urr... o_o do whatever ;D

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 12:16am||

to become stronger! everones dream says: c'mon tell me!!!! megan says: fuck you teabag =|
03.07.02

teabag: (tEE-ba-guh)(adj?) when a male... supposedly drunk. takes off his pants and plops his balls on another males face... usually the mouth. =|

i may be wrong.. o_o i saw it as a buddy icon. my buddy icon is two people doin it and then theres a knock at the door-the guy says "SHIT!" and the caption is "it sucks getting caught!" yea... lolz... ive been scaring my mom with my unusual happiness. -_- i had the balls to e-mail melissa last night... so im happy because of that. and me and shaun are allllllll good. XD and i have a kick ass punk band.. lolz... i wish. XD im still dreaaaaaamin! well let alone from scaring my mother with my unusual sugar high without the sugar, im prancing around in my panties and a t-shirt so i get labled "panty girl" and stuff... hahaha im watching invader zim on compy. 8) THAT SHOW IS THE SHIT!!! woo... im all rolled up in my biiiiiiiiig ass comforter (o_O yes, i have alot of them... its the big ass blue one) and im saying "ah.. maybe i shouldn't go to work. XD" it feels goooooooood to be rolled up in your blankie T___T. and i honestly dont want to get up and take another shower. i took one about an hour ago. and for some odd reason i always have to go to work with my hair wet. =| keeps me from getting hot i guess. lol... XD... well.. OMG! for everyone who watched Young and the Restless this morning... HOLY SHIT!!! =O LARRY CANT DIE!!!!!! and Billy better be ok! because him and Mac belooooooong together!!!!!! and then!!! O_O! U THINK RALPH AND LARRY ARE DEAD!? (fyi-they fell off a cliff because ralph was going to rape or kill mac --his stepdaughter-- =| then larry came and saved the day while they were fighting they fell off a cliff) ah... wonderful cheesyness. wow... piage is leaving for korea. =| shes odd.... she 12?? she says im her best friend. and im like "umm.... i dont really know you, child..." im kinda mean to kids... a looooooooong time ago...i was in msn i think msn chat and then some 11 year old came in and i was saying "call me a baka one more time little fuck i will ban your tiny whitey tightey ass =|!!!!" and i kicked him... but they always come back for more. =| little dude.... and i said "dumb fuck... go bite some knees =|" wow... i really hated that kid... =| =O TODD IS ON THE TV!!! (hehehe hes from one life to live ;D)woo... well... hm... urrr... im really tired. ah.. back to bed... ;D wake me up at 3..

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 1:17pm||

addicted to you. =P im addicted to you, jimmy eat world... marry me today!
02.07.02

YES! i am Jimmy Eat Worldz frekkin groupie! XO!!!! then after that, me and my band (which is a total hot mix of advril lavigne/blink 182/Jimmy eat world) woo im the guitarist/singer. XD i get the panties thrown at ME! and then and then.... T__T i have no band mates yet..... UNLESS JON (god--grams friend... not mamas bf) wants to be the other guitarist!!!!!! o___o!!!! then he will have to fill in for me when i break my arm in a totally terrible accident by a drunk tour bus driver!!! i will recover, and tons of fans will be crying for me when i have my come back concert! and then!!! and then!!! 8) everyone will say "oh no pop is dead! long live pop!" (--radiohead--)and and and. XD i will be so damn famous! and i will be really kick ass cool because i wont turn into a rich bitch!!! and and and then shaun and megan will live happily fucking after!!! =| eat that u mofos!!! lol.. enough about my wierd ass dreams. c'mon people im going to art school. im gunna go and practice my singin skills fo u all!! (WOO W.O.I: WEDGIE OF INSANITY!!!)

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 10:29||

sex is like pringles once you pop you can't stop
02.07.02

i know i shouldn't feel like it hurts so bad. and i dont know but whenever i hear him talk about her or vice versa i feel like im going to throw up. i know its because of what happened before. and i always think about "i wonder what kind of e-mails he sends her now".... "does he still dream about marrying her and her having his kid!?" no one understands how bad that hurt. i still want to die because of that. and he says that when he comes here he wants us all to hang out... but then i will be the third wheel. i always am. because i dont talk alot. im shy. and she always get guys to fall for her. =| she obviously got him before. but. he loves me now. one part of me wants to really scream in her face "just... fuck off... why did u even start talking to him? do u just want to take everything away from me!? why dont u just move and leave us both alone!?" but i know he would be sad.. and he would never forgive me... but the other side of me wants to say "im sorry, i was just lecturing... i kno i cant live up to anyones expectations anymore... im terrible... i just want u two to think of eachother as friends... just friends... dont even hug eachother =| i cant hug guys... he shouldnt' hug girls" i cant tell him that he cant hug girls. yea... pathetic right? i cant hug guys because HIS jealousy... who cares about mine right??? he doesn't want me talking to guys... who cares if i dont want him talking to girls... he says "i dont flirt with them" bullshit... people flirt automatically... ya know?? i dont even talk to guys anymore... because i honestly dont want to. and if i told him "dont hug, talk, kiss or anything with girls" i know he would be like "meg, stop this" and yet he restricts me from that... i cant restrict him from anything. and it really pisses me off. because i dont want him talking to ash. but i do... everytime i see her online when he is too... i get sad because i want to know what they are talking about is he saying "i love you" he probably is... i told you when i listen to music i think of stuff i usually dont... because i dont want to end up like my parents... my mom cheated on my dad for so long... and... it hurt us. she always denied it but it was all true. we lived in redfield and everynight she left to 'go to work' when she worked only on the weekends... she came back around 6 or 7 in the morning the next day... papa took care of us basically. >> even if i was the hated child.. o well. *shrugs* thats why i dont want anything to happen... its all good now i think... but eventually... if he doesnt talk to her as much as me she will get sad... i know it... im the girlfriend aren't i supposed to get more attention...?? guess not. i dont care anymore as long as im with him. i will never do anything im not supposed to. i will be a good gf and obey...

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 12:16pm||

see shaun, ash was right... u can get depressed over nothing...

umm
01.07.02

um... i have the tendency to give the impression to my boyfriend that i dont love him... but i do... i do so much.. i DO have a problem with opening up to people. i dont say "i love you" alot... i guess i have a problem with that... i used to say it all the time. and i havent stopped loving him any less... i acually love him more probably... if that is possible. umm... i dont have alot to say. but o yea, i almost shit myself, but i talked to renada today. wedding. wow.. and then scott and alicia are getting married. one problem... why are 17 year olds getting married!? i have no problem with it... i just havent really seen anyone get married at this age. anyway... ive been looking at freakhole.com alot. lol. that is one funny site. but... too many porn banners. -____- its like... wow lets make a site like rotten.com and steakandcheese.com but lets make it all pornish with a billion fucking porn banners!!! wow well.. im off... to look at children holding up knives that say "ill cut u bitch!" lol... later.. later.. lolz

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 10?43pm||

btw--i made the most kick ass meatloaf wallpaper. =O it took me 2 min. XD but its the shit!!! if u ask me niceley on my tagboard i might send it to ya. XD MEATLOAF WILL RULE!!!

URESHIIIIII
10 min after previous entry

everything is sane again. ^-^ the meatloaf has started his plan to take over canada. =| just like my 8th grade social studies teacher. =P crazy mr. macki. wow... there is a bunny puppet on my computer desk... i drew a semi good picture today.. it looks like me..but..o_O;;; cute... and..... what i want to look like. XD woo.. anyway.. *coughs* im obsessed with meatloaf now..
hey everybody have u seen my balls they are big, salty and brown, if u ever need a quick pick me up just stick my balls in your mouth!
woo thats a good song... o_o well bye

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 6:13||

BOW DOWN TO THE ALMIGHTY MEATLOAF!
1.07.02

o_o almighty meatloaf... is coming to eat your children, rape your horses and make sweet sweet love to your women!!! XD!!!! wow.. well.. anyway, moving on... i should make a layout of this pic.. because i swear, the meatloaf will rule one day... =|.... anyway... i still have yet to watch my dvds... its just been way too hot upstairs... its too hot. anyway my day was. just as boring as the others. brynn wants me to go to the beach with her and ashley, and then they want me to spend the night at ashleys house afterwards. wow.. graham is on the phone and brynn was on the other line... wow they are being really wierd... they are singing... im 100% frightened... they are singing "make my boobies one more size" =| britney spears spoof... wow... they are high...im going to go...

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 5:56pm||

i should be crying but i just cant let it show, i sould be hoping but i cant stop thinking...
30.06.02

my god... this song is making me bawl my eyes out... there are like... NO songs out there that make me cry like this... everyone download "this womans work" by Maxwell... yes... ITS A MAN SINGING.. download the revised version if you can... this is going to be one of those nights where i make a cd and add to it the saddest love songs and so on... and then go to bed and sing to them all night... i wish i had a room with a glass roof so i could look up, because last night on the swings. i was saying "ki...kirei no hoshi..." and my 'friends' looked at me like i was a phsyco... wow... but at least i had somewhat some fun last night. kinda... eh. I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking for all the things I should've said that I never said all the things we should of done that we never did all the things I should've given but I didn't... gah this song gets to me... its so beautiful. T____T and when i told chase... kinda weird... i talk to him on aim now. i told him to download it and he said "wow... this doesn't seem like you... are you ok!?" he thought i was depressed. im not depressed. not even all that sad. im somewhat serene. it feels really really wierd... like u are floating ontop of water. i dont want to sound all poetic.. but thats how it feels. then you start to think about things u have never thought of before... like... is anything eternal?? i should be crying but i just cant let it go eventually after staring at my ceiling for about 2 hours my legs go numb and i eventually fall esleep and dream the most beautiful dreams. smile the most beautiful smile... sing the most beautiful songs...
then i thought of how he restrains our friendship...it pisses me off sooo bad...and then...it makes me really upset...-.-' she tells me its not restrained...if its not restrained then why do we only talk on aim and she has me blocked on msn....? *sigh* bullshit.... it cant get you anywhere.... ok!? i should be hoping but i cant stop thinking... for all of the things that we should've said that we never said...è questo che cosa esso ritiene come per essere nell'amore? per amare qualcuno così tanto che desideriate per sempre essere con loro? desiderate svegliare per vedere così morbidamente la loro faccia ogni bacio di mattina... i loro labbri e tenerli... tutto sarebbe così tenero reale?? naturalmente... se questo è che cosa ritiene come... esso deve essere reale...

now his part is over now starts the craft of the father
||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 10:30pm||

whoa, amber is the color of your energy, whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally
30.06.02

hmm..*puts finger on lip and taps* annou... ah... sa... well... i dont know what i did... but it seems as though i let shit hit the fan again. gah i love 311. =___=;;;... shaun got off again w/o saying bye. i think he got d/c or something... and i kinda feel like shit because melissa's screename on msn is this -------> i'm sure you'll be happy if i move meg... hey im not the one that said it. and i didnt really know she was moving. i knew that she was going to move eventually. but... not anytime soon... she did say something to me, but i didn't talk back. i dont want to really talk to people. -_-;; i have a fever, my head hurts, and its fwakin hot! and i keep getting pissed off because NOONE IS UPDATING THEIR DAMN PITA!!!!!!! i have a list of people that need to update.. maybe its because time is going by really really slow... im hungry... i seem to have lost my pants... oh yea, when mumsy came home she told me i got a package yesterday and.....finally i got my goddamn final fantasy x dvds. XO WOOOOOO 8 SOLID HOURS OF FINAL FANTASY X!!!!!! im going to have a tan like tidus. XD and im going to have clevage like lulu. then.....everything will be all good... i think im going to go watch them since 'niichan isn't home.. i can take advantage of him having 2 dvd players =| greedy, bruthah! but its a billion jillion degrees up there.....i will tonight... its only sunday. -_-;;; right now i will just look at the pretty packaging...

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 5:05pm||
my archives dont work. o_o; i forgot the button!!!! so dont think im an idiot =|

CAMPING
30.06.02
brynn boo's birfday--tsukino usagis' 'birthday' ;D

camping was quite fun. alot of people that i thought were going to go, didn't. poo (lorpu) already left for... o______o;;;; pa... i can't spell the city where she moved. >> and hawa is in michigan. but courtney, amy, ashley, nicole and of course brynn were there. it was about a billion degrees outside, and to scare amy i wore black pants and a black tanktop, spiked necklaces, black wristband and crap like that. o_O; yea she was scared. she said "dont u have anything else but black?" and i said "o yea, i have midnight =| bitch" then brynn was like ">>! dood she was wearin' pink yestahdah!" >> i wasn't... but hey =D.... it was fun... we were in the rec room a chunk of the time. and it was still outside, so we were still.... 'glitsening' like pigs??? i played a few games of pool... me and brynn were fooling around the jukebox and we ended up playing some meatloaf "i would do anything for love (but i wont do that)" i call it the wierd sex song. haha... then i played some butthole surfers... about midnight we went to the park and then courtney found a threesome of boys, and it didn't take her long. so, we all ran to the camper to get dressed... i laughed at their stupidity and put my fishnet shirt on over my tank top. o_O wow i was lookin hott... XD i love scaring people with my scaryness... >> im not goth, i just think amy is a bitch and i wanted to scare her... (i forgot to say that i went up to her and said "god loves you, child. =) sin is for the evil....") and anyway we sat around their campfire and we introduced ourselves. o_o i was partly attached to andrew, the guy with the dredlocks (XD like the california bois that surf-all blondish) anyway he had a gf too, so we talked about music. they are going to california for a music festival. o_O; andrew was wearing a skirt too.... well after awhile they were drunk and started telling ghost stories. one of them was actually creepy because it was real. =O... all the while i layed on a slide and looked up. o_o there was lotsa stars. i swung on a swing for the first time in years. we listened to jimmy eat world, 311, weezer and so on... i had fun. but it wasn't the best time i could've had. when i was trying to sleep i was being raped by brynn and courtney... seriously. =| brynn grabbed my boob... and courtney was putting her hand up the back of my shirt... eventually i rolled on my stomach and screamed "DOOD FUCK!!! STOP!!!" and i fell esleep. o_o; i remember one part of my dream... i put my arm around the back of shaun and i was whispering something into his sweatshirt. o_________________o;;; how crazy iz that. XD... but it was kinda sezzy because it was raining. =_=;;; we woke up, i looked like hell... frollicing around in shorts with no panties (i was pushed into a pool, they were soaked) and a white shirt. and all i heard was "megan! look! look at the hottie in the camper next to us" just smile and nod... yea.. i felt special that they actually talked to me like i was a person... they didn't talk to me. they just asked me about shaun... BOY CRAZED FOOLS... of course courtney had to ask "o________o how far are you going to get with him!?" and i said ">> go to sleep courney, i think i see your titties sagging" brynns mom got a kick out of me, not knowing i had such a sick sense of humor since shes known me, since i was in my commercail days. (*shudders* never again)... well that was about my trip.i DIDN'T get a tan. o_O fuck a duck... call me morticia... -_____- my mom is bitching at me since i haven't done anything with melissa, i have yet to tell her about the "stuff".... she will be like "fuck that =| call her" and i will be like "=| bite me... i hate that phone. ;-; i am the one that gets called... and i dont like phonecalls unless its someone inparticular" -____- no not fred. >>;; he hasn't called for awhile. maybe i scared him with my groaning and moaning when i was waken up. hahaha. i am scary in the morning... well... im going to go take a shower and go back to bed. i dont think anyone intresting is going to get online on a sunday morning...

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 10:10am||

ROAAAAAAAAAAAAR
29.06.02

wow megan doesn't like making layouts. today she was trying to do something wif the layout so it would look better. and....it didn't work so i did my basic thing what i usually do with layouts. =| well let alone from being in a really bitchy mood. i have a headache. =| and i keep getting e-mails from date.com >> die bitches... *shudders* dates... well anyway. im happy i just archived and shiznit. because the other layout was getting old. *shrugs* ok. *coughs* gah i dont want to go camping... o_o; another wierd thing, me and ash dont talk anymore. >> i had the right to bitch at her. god damn.... it was really pissing me off. and i know what she intended. but hell.. thats her problem... and if she doesn't want to fix it then shit on her =|....

||megan stared at aya-pasted her head on ayas body-at 1:19pm||