Tuesday, July 30st
                      ..your worst nightmare..
rockin to: im sorry: boA

... well in the last 24 hours i have been quite productive, to keep myself busy so i dont get depressed in which has been happening alot in the last.. 2 or so days. well, ive been looking for a house that my mom and john can rent out since that they dont have time to buy one. and i have to look for one with the rent is about 1400 or something like that..... that is our budget for the monthly rental. in which i doubt that we will find a house with at least 4 rooms and 2-3 bathrooms since i refuse to share a bathroom with anyone else now. lol... john was the one to bring up me having my own bathroom. that i will gladly decorate with rubber duckies... but on a lower note, my mom is depressed for lots of reasons, today we were supposed to start packing but we didn't get to it because she was depressed. and yea... this morning i reformatted my computer because my mom...... opened a virus... yea not a big suprise but hey, i get to fix things... and i forgot that i had so many things on compy that were important. such at shauns damn messages. that i listen to now that hes at camp. he told me he got me a domo kun. thank you chunkachu!! im really stressed... i dont know where im going to live in a month, i dont have ANYway to get to the convention which i just probably wasted $25 of my mothers money..... well..... $50 some odd dollars counting my cosplay. but HEY it doesn't matter. i really hope i can find a last minute way to get there... because i WANT to get out of that god forsaken hell hole i will be living in then... which right about there will be the weekend we are to be moving... oh well. but if i do go to the convention i will have alot more money than i did last year. im kinda glad i lost alot of my files... like... the old old conversations that i used to read. god only knows why, i got majorly depressed when i did... drove me to not eat for a week or so. but now, i dont care... because i know that im going to be happier from now on. because shaun only loves ME. fWAHhah...::coughs:: is it me or did that sound evil. gah... i need help people. i am going nuts without my voice messages and my old music!!!!!!!! im redownloading everything in which i have all my messengers, kazaa, divx... and adobe just finished in which i HOPE that its not the damn benjiman virus that was that one time....... well... im going to install it and if its a virus..... hooray... x_x HAHAHA btw: im running the oldest version on msn messenger.. im so happy. lol because the old version will die. this one has the kick ass faces BY THE WAY!!! i got a new aim... x_x... C.C gave me the idea..... its farfieonviagra <----- megan new aim... ok!? x_x farfello on viagra is quite scary..... will he do with his *coughs* what he does with his..... knife... XP woo... i just cheered myself up! much love and such, megan

[ @ 8:55pm meg became Shauns XXX star||comments

Saturday, July 27st
                      ..27JULY2002..
rockin to: my brothers tormenting... what a moron

i have the worst allergies today... fer some odd reason im really urr... like... emotional for some odd reason. i keep sneezing and crying over nothing... my mom was on the computer all morning and i was trying to get her to take me to tjmaxx. eventually she did, at 12. and she was rushing me saying that she wasn't taking track of the time because she was getting her hair colored. and i knew that but i was telling her to get off the computer since 11.. anyway we ended up going to the mall and i got a shirt from express that i could wear with my tie for the reunion. i still have yet to buy a shirt for the convention... in which i am registered but i have no way to get there... well... my mom looked at this one house for a second and... its a piece of shit.. so like hell i am going to live in it. my mom said her and john have to rent a house. and the rent can be up to 1400 a month or something. anyway... Leanne said that if i want to get my hair done for the convention i should do it now because she doesn't have alot of time.. i asked my mom and she didn't listen. i asked her a few other times. she didn't listen. eventually when we were paying for everything ($84 x___X!!) i asked her and she said no. and i told her i would pay for it she said no. ::shrugs:: she has been in a bad mood all day... not like i can make her happy. and now i am putting up with her bitching at me because i wore her shirt to bed and my brothers physical abuse. my moms verbal abuse... my brothers physical. ::sigh:: thats life. i cried after my mom told me that i have an attitude because i asked her what her plans were for tonight. and she said "if u try and ruin my plans for tonight i swear" and now she just said "did u throw my cds on the floor!?" i didn't.. they fell off because they were on the scanner.... she should know that. i can't expect her to listen to me. i cant wait to get to my grandmas house. she has to be nice to me there... only thing is that she trys to pretend that she is a good mom by ordering me to do this and that. i know alot of people think that im just bitching about her but. x_x shes just... rude to me. and another good thing is that when john moves in with us... he said that he will always will be on me and grahams side and whatnot.. and my mom would never dare to try and act how she usually does to me. and if she does john will get on her ass about it. because hes a good guy. too bad hes too good for someone like my mom. i bet if i slit my wrists right now she would think i was phsyco and wouldn't do anything about it. thats what she did last time. she thought that i was phsyco and grounded me and said it was... someone elses fault... someone elses fault that i hated myself and whatnot. its not his fault and it will never be. im just not the happy beautiful daughter she wants so she has to be rude to me. i dont really care. i could care less... well i am going to finish this before my brother comes behind my shoulder and starts reading this. in which he will anyway because hes a prick...much love, the shizz

[ @ 3:35pm meg became Shauns XXX star||comments

Saturday, Friday, July 26th                         ..26JULY2002..
rockin to: southpark is on the tv...

i just got back from stevens house. i had alot of fun. >_____> jonny was there so i was like >______> at jonny alot. grrr.... we hate eachother. but i had alot of fun. we jumped on his trampoline and his sister was being really annoying so he locked her inside. and it rained and we got on the trampoline again. ::ish still wet:: x_x but it was hella fun. i dont really feel the saaaaame fer some odd reason. i have bug bites all over meself... im too sweet or something. =9.. T____T omg i miss shaun so much. come baaaaack to meeeeee. ;-;.... im used to talking to him until my mom starts yelling at meeeee saying "u always are talking to him!!! u are like obsessed or something!!!" >_> fuck u mom... anyway... i have the reunion tomarrow FUN!!! i think Ash is goin so its all good... and then and then we will have fun. x____x and make fun of my cousins so they will cry... maybe i will slap that bitch of a cousin i name lucas... grr... child... erin and rita will be there. CIVILIZED PEOPLE!!! woo... anyway... im about to rip my skin off because i itch so bad. and i miss him so bad.. really really really really bad. and i dont want to talk to people about it because then they will get annoyed and stuff. and if i tell my mom about it she will get all like "blah blah blah u are 14 and shit" T_____T come back to meee..... im going to seriously shove a stick up that friend of his'z ass... and then twist it to where it wont EVER come out. ::cries:: =P as long as he is having fun im good. ^-^ and then when he goes to band camp he will get all sweaaaaaaatyyyyy fer meee. ;D..... i wish... anyway im going to make some dinner and watch some hentai... x_x saturdays rock my world.. WAIT..... ITS FRIDAY!!!!! LMFAO...OH WOW..... im really dumb. XD!!!! erm.. well... if it was saturday he would come home sooner fer me ;-;..... ::bawls:: OMG I THINK THERE IS A MISQUITO IN MY PANTIES!!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!much love, the shizz

[ @ 12:32ammeg became Shauns XXX star||comments

Wednesday, July 24th                         ..24JULY2002..
rockin to: koucha by: maaya sakamoto

for the last few days ive been busy. i had a friend over since... uhh... monday i think. steven came over that night and he gave me my birthday present which was a necklace. he likes my taste in jewlery. at least the kind i wear everyday. anyway we sat and talked for awhile, we took alot of pictures and whatnot. but before all that i got my hair cut. in which the person who did it WASN'T leanne, ive gone to her since i was 6. but her dad died and i dont like making appointments, so i went to hair phd, the place i go after spectra. anyway, the lady said i had alot of hair. and i said 'yea i know' and she didn't put like, any layers in it like i wanted, she added a couple, but you can't tell at all, it looks the same to me. but a couple inches are gone. x__x gone...... they will recover by september. haha anyway... since then not alot has happened, except the constant fights between me and shaun. and i am worried... we aren't supposed to fight like that, and such, so i wrote him like... a huge e-mail today about lots of shit. i dont know, i hope we will be all good by the time i talk to him tonight. because tomarrow hes leaving for Otakon. (the friend that is taking him is on my 'list') its in Baltimore. T__T so far away. let me go too!!! haha anyway and after that he has band camp. (american pie has scarred me fer life) so i wont see him for like 6-8 days. what if at otakon he finds some cuteish cosplay chick and shes all wanting his ass and then T______T... i hate girls that like chunkachu... or boys at all. they are so fucking annoying.. anyway. there isn't alot to say about the last 4 days... OH YES! today we got a letter in the mail from our landlord, we have to move out by the 31st of august... and we have to get out ASAP... so that means we dont have time to buy a house, and we have to rent one for a little bit. but my mom says 'all i know is that its gunna be better than this house' all i ask for is 'a bathroom to myself, a dishwasher and central air' 3 things i DONT have now, but i want. its not alot to ask, alot of houses will have that fer me... anyway... im going to go on my long search for a perfect house for the future osbournes. (yes, graham is living with us too... i am kelly "JACK YOU *UCK!") is what i will call him... muahhahaha...... out, much love and such, the shizz/meeeeeeegaaaaaaaaannnnn......

[ @ 2:50PM meg became Shauns XXX star||comments

Sunday, July 21st
                      ..21JULY2002..
rockin to:blingin' of AIM messages

i just got back from Best Buy i got nothing there, but i saw so many things i wanted to get. i was trying to talk my mom into getting me the eva boxset x__x a big ass load of $109... but anyway i was like "o well" and we went to marshalls... i got my tie for the convention. which is silk... *-* omg its so nice... and i saw this coat there that o_____o i want so bad.... its purple suede and on the wrists and the collar its laama. *-* its so soft and stuff... it was $129, and we were going to put it on layaway but momma sand that she couldn't afford it if the layaway was for only 30 days. T___T.... but i will probably get it. =P someway... aaanyway... we talked about the convention and my mom is thinking of not going and just having me go with friends since that melissa is moving and all. x__x that means i have to find someone to cling to fer the weekend probably. that means... x_x i will have more cash!!!!! *suddenly adds $180 to her convention funddd* ureshiiii... x_x anyway... i am thinking of cutting my hair... x_x because my hair looks kinda scurvy long... *cries* i cant cut it tho... i will seriously make her stop in the middle of it... but im just thinking of chopping off a couple inches to add some long layers. x_____x everyone who knows what my hair looks like and what-not... x___X yuh think it would look ok? well im also thinking of dying my tips. brynn is doing it, it will probably work for her better than me, her hair is almost blonde x___x i want my tips to be blue or dark violet. anyway... last night before i left to go to bed shaun kinda got mad at me and said that all i talk about is calvin and everything is about him. well shaun is the one that talks about him quite often, saying that he hates him and so on... but i guess i give the impression that i like calvin like that... (omg, my mom and i are watching a dog giving birth)anyway. i dont think of him like that, hes a good friend. and i guess shaun doesn't understand that. because ash is his best friend and she likes him. there isn't a real difference in the two, but shaun says there is.. oh well, i really hope we clear up our problems before he leaves, i dont want him leaving for 6 days with us fighting. x___X i wish i could fly my ass up to baltimore to go to the con too. but i have my little local convention, if u dont miiiiiind......

PiMpEtTe4LyFe02: my friend hates you she doesnt even know u tho
shizzballs: why does she hate me?
shizzballs: who?
PiMpEtTe4LyFe02: she wants ur man XD
PiMpEtTe4LyFe02: brandy
PiMpEtTe4LyFe02: lol she lykes shaunie
shizzballs: ...........
PiMpEtTe4LyFe02: PiMpEtTe4LyFe02: megan is not a bitch 
cant say sorry: yes she is 
PiMpEtTe4LyFe02: NO SHE ISNT!

well... umm.... intresting.. that bitch will die in the fiery depths of hell. =|... well maybe for some ODD reason shaun was flirting with her... ya know? she did a great deal on ash awhile back... but i dont think he would do that. im just really happy sara stook up me, i know im just too nice to people usually and that im overley... VERY overley sesitive... sara gave me some courage to talk to her. =| i am right now..... the bitch will DIE for saying: Midget Chic 18: yes u r and he use to like me to but then he decided to go out with u again and Midget Chic 18: no it isn't cause when u 2 broke up the first time jess sent my pic and he said he thought i was really hott... well thats what happens when i try and trust guys i guess.. well im going to watch tv..
[ @ 2:50PM meg became Shauns XXX star||comments