Saturday, December 10, 2005 / 12:38 a.m.
Jay Chou - Feng
Reflecting on this new phase of life as i stepped into university, i feel queer and a little apprehensive at how everything has sunk into a state of humdrum and absolute calmness. Barely anything seems to excite me anymore. I don’t know why, but sometimes you want life to be a piece of isolated island, all tranquil and serene. Yet on the other hand, you wish you’re out there in the vast sea of capriciousness, experiencing dizzy highs and emotional roller coasters you never quite expect. I haven’t felt extremely happy and delirious, or been to a state of deep melancholy, tremendous fury, missed anyone terribly, placed anyone in my heart, moved, swayed or affected for a long long time. In short, I cannot seem to feel anymore.
My past entries these few months were really just a chronicle of my life and sometimes a venue for mild frustrations and happiness. Nothing big, really. Not much time for thoughts and feelings to be sorted out properly either. It makes me wonder how much further this imbalance is going to topple my life upside down when I step into the working world and can officially proclaim myself a busy woman. Haha, as usual, I think I think too much la huh. Perhaps I shouldn’t be taking this for granted.
Ate delicious amk yong tau foo, topped with authentic satay and favourite roadside ice-cream after two rounds of trainings today. So meanwhile, let cheap thrills like these keep me going. :)
Thursday, December 8, 2005 / 01:20 p.m.
Help! My arms, shoulders, abs (i wish i have), back, thighs and calves are aching! I woke up greeted by the bright morning sun feeling paralysed and unmovable. I just hope i don't cough or laugh too much because the aches are really bad. How lousy! Only had three trainings so far.
Finally met up with lilian yesterday! We kept yakking away and i finally bought my pair of badminton shoes. Couldnt find the right size for the soccer boots though so i decided to give it a miss. No point buying expensive ones since i'm not even pro!
Been bunking in at zes's and amelia's. Thanks girls! :D Okay i can't wait to eat at the guild house later. Tatas!
Tuesday, December 6, 2005 / 01:03 a.m.
blabber blabber
Gosh, i just finished scrubbing the mud and dirt off my shoes and socks. It was the first softball training after exams today, and it was really fun! We did fielding today and did a lot of false plays (whatever you call those). Starting to get the hang of the game though i'm still a tad confused but nonetheless, it further piqued my interest for softball from where it was left hanging way back in st nicks. And i decided the people in softball are all pretty nice and friendly! :) Oh wells, but as i was trying batting today, the ball flew off from a funny angle (my lousy batting skills) and hit kunshan in the eye! Luckily it was not a hard shot but i was so guilty. :(
Heh, was telling zes how great it was at west coast, playing softball under the big blue sky littered with white fluffy clouds, amidst the trees that moved with the soothing wind. Think alvin heard me and laughed at me. We decided he laughed at me several times already. :( And still remembered my name wrongly! Hmmms, hope he never gets to read this. Haha.
Before softball training was PRU hosting for the thai students. Pretty interesting! I got to learn a few simple phrases in Thai and interact with the students from Bangkok University. Wished we had some camp or something so that we could get to know them better. But it was a day's affair. All of them are either the president of the public relations, or the head of the business faculty or whatsoever. Made me felt really small and inferior compared to them.
Holiday trainings are gonna take up a large part of my december, and though i don't think i can make it to any of the main teams, i think it'll be a good way of training myself, bonding, having fun with people and learning new stuff! Hopefully..
As i felt bad for always being out, the chief of saturday was spent at home watching Full House on vcd. It's not the usual sappy soappy tears-wrenching sort of Korean drama. Instead, it's a very cute, funny, and sweet love comedy! Really really really nice and i'm going gaga over the male lead. Wahahahaha. Don't believe, go watch it.
Friday, December 2, 2005 / 11:14 p.m.
Monday
Finally met up with that sinhui and yes, we finally watched Oliver Twist! Well i would say it's a pretty nice film but it isnt too fantastic. I can't put into words why and probably coz the musical would be more fantastic or i had too high expectations of it. Nonetheless, it was good company!
Tuesday
Went out with zes to bugis! Introduced the famous bak kut teh to her and we ate 16 bucks worth! I wonder whether we really ate too much or the food was simply pricey. Can't wait to watch Pride and Prejudice! But i guess i'd better finish reading the book first.
Wednesday
Wednesday afternoon was spent lying on the soft sand of Palawan beach, playing peek-a-boo with the sun, immersing ourselves in the relaxed and laid-back atmosphere of the beach and listening to the soft waves of the sea with zes. Almost perfect, till the pseudo sandstorm came along! The wind was so strong, and the sand hit us really hard. Our towel was almost completely buried in sand. Haha, never seen such a sight. It was tennis after that and we had much fun amidst the lousy shots and funny actions. Night was finally back to the phuture with pris and yiwen! 3 disappointments, 1 pair of hands and 1 idiot did not do much to spoil the night. And so many TH people were there! When we came back, pris, yiwen and i shared the same bed (we were supposed to stay up for breakfast). Yiwen fell asleep, leaving pris and i till dawn to talk and laugh about the st nicks times when we were all young and silly.
Thursday
Yiwen and i had a mind to watch Prime after watching the trailer online but the seats were almost fully taken. We settled for Chicken Little instead because there wasn't much choices left. AND OH MYYY! It is seriously one of the worst shows i've ever watched!! The humour was bad and the scenes were really off. I didn't know whether to cringe or laugh. PLEASE, if you're intending to watch it, don't!
Friday
Spent the night before at jess house before we headed to st nicks to play badminton with kang and kai. I was pretty happy to be greeted by the same ol' building, just that it's not the usual st-nicks blue and pink anymore. And the bonus was definitely that the orange bowl stall was opened!!! An all-time favourite of all st nicks girls. I happily gobbled up two bowls in no time. :D
I realised it's been months since i went jess house and i kinda marvelled again at the pretty stars on the ceiling that glowed so ever beautifully in the dark. And i was in astonishment and amazement as to this was exactly how i marvelled at the stars seven years ago. Freaking seven years, oh gosh. Time did really fly. Maybe some things just never change.
Monday, November 28, 2005 / 12:41 a.m.
the beginning of an end
You can say i went absolutely mad with zes and min the day before our last paper. Chatting in my room with miserable sunlight filtering through the blinds, sunning my hippo at A4, desperately trying to play some games and spouting rubbish at night while trying to cram all the law details into our head. And i was absolutely delirious when i ate with them, ame and mei at lido after the paper! The smell of town was never so good! Hehe, yes yes. My exams have drawn to an end, albeit the worst paper being the last which i will not go into further gory details. Thanks to all who wished me luck on my last paper!
Sorry for wanting to stay at home today coz i told myself die die also must watch Infernal Affairs II at 830pm on channel u today! Can't help but exclaim about how good the movie is. The twists and turns of the plot, the struggles of the characters in defining themselves in the grey area, the clues audience pick up along the way as the plot unravels itself... Whee! And i simply adore Francis Wu after this movie! Couldnt help but teared again when he died. :( But watching it again lessened the effect of the surprises and shocks in the film, because those scenes are so deeply embedded in my mind. Still, thumbs up to the filmakers!
So many people i wanna go out with during the hols! Chel, boon, sinhui, yiwen, pris, lilian, bernard, char, alan, jess, zes, marcus, nelson, yh, mei, min (despite seeing them everyday), sq, sd, sh, jw, hopefully SNBT and more please ask me out! Haha, sound desperate. I am so gonna go tanning, shopping, reading, movie-ing, swimming, badmintoning, mahjonging, cooking and hopefully jbing! Sorry, but zes had influenced me to plan. She's always yakking to me about how her whole day is going to be like blahh..
Oh yeah! Hope this dec holidays will not fall short of my expectations.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 / 12:12 a.m.
Doing this coz of boon! :)
- If you were a cartoon character, what would you be like?
Sulley from Monster Inc. How cute and friendly!
- Can you do anything freakish with your body?
Not freakish, but i can raise my two eyebrows independently.
- What feature do you find most attractive on girls/guys?
X factor or charm
- Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?
Why not.
- Would you marry for money?
No.
- Have you had braces?
Yes, for three whole years too. *sulks at boon*
- Do you wear lip gloss?
Seldom.
- Do you sing in the shower?
Nope.
- Do you play any sports?
A few, for leisure.
- Could you live without a computer?
Yes, if i didnt had a computer to start with.
- Do you use AOL, MSN, Yahoo? AIM
MSN.
- If so, how many people are on your list?
around 220
- If you could live in any past, where would it be?
where ladies had pretty locks and wore pretty dresses, those corset sort. Er, dunno how to describe. What era is that? Or chicago! In the world of jazz.
- Do you wear white socks?
Yes.
- Do you wear shoes?
Only during exercise.
- What is your favorite fruit?
Peach, mango, apples, grapes and guava.
- Do you eat wheat bread or white?
Both.
- What is your favorite place to visit?
Europe! Dreamm!!
- Fav DVD?
Sex and the City.
- Do you kiss on the first date?
Erm, no.
- Are you photogenic?
I look really bad in photos. :(
- Do you dream in color or black and white?
Color.
- What are you wearing right now?
FBTs.
- Do you eat a lot of fruit?
Sometimes.
- Do you have dimples?
No, sadly.
- Do you remember being born?
huh...
- Do you drink alcohol?
Seldom.
- Do you like high school?
Yes!
- What is the best accent?
I havent heard enough to make a choice.
- Do you like sunsets?
LOVE them!!
- Do you want to live to be 100?
If everybody around me are, of course!
- Do you or have you played with a ouija board?
I don't dare. Oops.
- Are you loyal?
Yes.
- Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?
Yes.
- Is music your life?
Yes.
- Do you like scary movies?
Sometimes.
- Do you think you can draw well?
Nope.
- At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?
I never believed!
- How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?
Can't count, but very little
- Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday?
Unfortunately, i have no choice!
- Do you write poetry?
No.
- Snore?
Nope.
- Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?
Sides.
- Do you like Cats/Dogs?
Yes, but more of dogs.
- Do you lick stamps?
Used to, ha!
- Do you use an electric can opener?
Oh my, technology is so advanced??
- Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?
I wish i did.
- Like your name?
Erm, okayy.
- Were you named after anyone?
Nope.
- Do you wish on stars?
Nope.
- Which finger is your favorite?
Not sure.
- When did you last cry?
I think when i watched I am Sam again on tv?
- What is your favorite band?
Lifehouse i guess. though im more of a song than artiste person.
- Who do you admire?
Hmmm.
- What is the 1 priority in your life?
To appreciate everything that i have and not take them for granted.
- What is your favorite day of the week?
Fridays!
-------I TAG everybody who's reading this and has a blog!-------
(i think the tag part means asking whoever and whoever to do this too)
Tuesday, November 22, 2005 / 04:22 p.m.
There's still a little bit of your song in my ear
listening to: "Cannonball" by Damien Rice
I woke up after my unintended three hour hiatus, greeted by the soft music of the rain. The tranquility of the rain in the morning was still lingering in the room till now. Time check: 16:23 pm. Gosh, i could have appreciated the lovely rain a little more if i hadnt intended to play tennis. Initial plan at 11am was postponed to 4pm, but the sky couldnt stop crying. So here i am, in front of my lappie, attempting to have a cool and cosy afternoon all by myself. But sometimes, how nice it would be to be able to share this quietly with someone.
Having exams in uni are queer. I used to feel the butterflies in the stomach as i stepped into the examination room, but not now. It's like taking a paper that doesnt really concern me at all. Anyways, it's been a loooong wait and time flew really slow. Two papers down and two more to go! :D
Monday, November 21, 2005 / 02:41 a.m.
on dinner
All-time favourite minced pork noodle (with loads of chili), less than acceptable Hokkien mee, carrot cake coated in black and tasty dark soya sauce, mouth-watering piping hot stingray, refreshing sugar cane juice with lime, delicious char kway teow and lala soaked in chili-crab gravy for dinner at bukit timah market. What more can i ask for??
Thursday, November 17, 2005 / 10:22 p.m.
I just want to say that my handwriting has become really much nicer after days of writing notes. HAHA!
Was watching the MNO webcast about conscientiousness. And the question arises. Are there times where it pays to do what's good enough rather than pursuing the ideal of perfection and excellence? I don't know about you, but i feel that at some aspects and times of life, we can perhaps sacrifice some conscientiousness. Would you rather get an A from working too hard, or a B and have time for other things - a more well-rounded life? As the person that i am, i would choose the latter. I say, do stop and relax once in a while, and appreciate the simple things in life.
Thanks to rachel chow wei yin, I was left worried and disturbed for ten minutes of the night before the announcement of her successful and hilarious ploy.
A whole train of thoughts, whether triggered by frivolous incidents or have already been nagging at the back of my head, have been flooding my mind these days. Not necessarily negative, but I’m pretty tired from wearing myself out. I’m not the most probable person of all to have the ability to fly from flower to flower, yet am able to flutter my wings and soar by myself at the end of the day. There’s no one blossom that I can fully flourish and grow on, and things are changing. They are rearranging and orientating themselves in ways that are no longer familiar to me. I feel apprehensive in this revolution, yet it is inevitable that I deal with it face-to-face all the time.
Haha, it’s okay if you don’t understand. It’s my way of expressing my intention to be cryptic.
On a lighter note, I can’t wait to watch so many movies. Besides the German and French film fests, Oliver Twist and Harry Potter (though not exactly a big fan) I’ve mentioned earlier on, I must watch Elizabethtown and Memoirs of a Geisha! Thrilled. These holidays MUST be good.
Been running these days as a temporary getaway from the books. It is seriously a good way to chuck everything aside for a while.
Someone help me please! It's only today that i realize i didn't even print five of my MNO lecture notes. Which means i don't know what's going on for almost half of my MNO module when the impending exam is in two weeks time. Oh my!
I find it really distracting to study anywhere. I would either sleep, go online or do frivolous stuff just to get away from studying.
Bahhh.
I feel like rambling about the randoms today.
1. Like how i love the show Project Runway coz it's so interesting.
And i wouldnt blame you if you randomly skip this entry.
Helping a friend to advertise! The details are too small so..
I didn't sleep the whole of Friday till Saturday morning when i had to go for my make-up tutorial. Wells, yes, in the following sentence, i should justify myself by saying i was studying for my impending exams. But nahhh. Had a very fun “crispy” picnic with yiwen and Jessica involving cards, uno and loads of food. In the nicest sense of words, it was to destress ourselves.
Yeah right.
I’ve been pretty disturbed by certain things going on. It makes me feel really comforted and protected in this own lil world of mine, surrounded by people who are genuine. I’m so used to living in the life of goods and innocence I don’t know how it’s like and what to do when such things happen. I cannot fathom what the world is going on out there; neither can I see through facade and pretences so deftly conjured by them. I say, be genuine to the people you love and care about, and that will suffice.
BY THE WAY, read the newspaper today and studies have shown that odd sleeping hours or insufficient sleep leads to an increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and obesity. So all hall mates, let's sleep earlier!
I'm addicted to listening to lifehouse's songs on repeat mode.
This is probably my most ill-prepared exams and i can't study both at home or in school. But i seriously can't be very bothered. Wait till i start my revision on managerial econs. Will probably scream and pull my hair out in despair.
I've been in a pretty good mood these days. Probably because my energy was replenished from home during the holiday. Or that the term girls use often as excuse: PMS, was over. I'm beginning to enjoy the warmth and caress of the sunshine in the day and the mild hustle bustle that lingers in the air as opposed to the tranquility of the night. The latter seems to bring in too many mysteries and unknowns while digging into the graves of lost and intense emotions. I find it really gratifying to take a quiet sunny afternoon by myself, listen to good music and do stuff that are frivolous and unimportant.
I've had enough! Killed a grand total of three beetles today without the help of meilin (because she slept already). Can't help living near the slope which will be coated with mud and creepy crawlies everytime it rains. The roly polies come uninvited without fail to my room and act as if its their playground. AND they come in all sorts. Green, brown, black, with wings and without, small, large and extra extra large.. AND they usually come in bizarre ways like jumping onto my table out of NOWHERE or pose and stone on my bed without a sound. I do not know why they like me so much.
Love this collage done by yiwen! The puppets are damn cute and they really say much about us. :D A lot of memories created in a short span of three months! Most are embarrassing though.
I'm alone in my room now, listening to Frente by Bizarre Love Triangle and the tranquility of the night is never so clear. There's a slight emotional touch to this night i can't put into words how. But it makes me kind of miss all the moments and people of many sorts and colours.
Somehow I feel that we are all trying too hard to mature. Trying too hard to grow up fast into who we vision ourselves to be in the near future – independent, sophisticated individuals who know what life has in store for us and try our best to strive towards our ideals and goals. But the truth is, we have not seen much of this world as yet. So we often feel lost in finding ourselves and instead, find ourselves in the midst of an identity crisis.
So I say, why not just let us be ourselves, savour the very essence of what a 19-yr-old ought to be and slowly let the meaning of life unravel itself.
Three months
Three months
Presenting temasek hall king 04/05, zhen huan!! He's in Female's 50 Top Most Gorgeous. Go take a look and give your support!
It was my second time watching The Wedding Planner on channel 5 and i totally adore the scene at the open-air cinema place where the audience started getting up and danced to the music from the film. Really romantic! Really wish the culture's like that in Singapore. Where everybody just dance for the sake of dancing and because they are genuinely happy.
I love Fridays. They are tucked away at the end of every week so that we can look forward to them. And when we finally wait till the strike of the clock to a Friday morning, we feel the sense of achievement from having finally hurdled past the painful week of school and work.
I had a very fun Friday hall dinner with my teammates. Mian plus mei together amuses me. Reckons I’m really lucky to be in temasek hall because there are so many familiar faces! It’s a small small world. And we watched some tv at the tv lounge till we slowly doze off. It’s yinghong’s and my favourite pastime after german lecture at 8pm without fail! Siong qun and sanduo came over and with meilin and yinghong, we played badminton in the comm hall using the newly marked court. Pretty good. We tried sepak takraw as inspired by some of the guys during dinner but the sport is just too darn hard! Had macs for supper and it was complete with burger, fries, lemon tea and tonnes of laughter. Thanks to siong qun, I had a ride home without having to drag my load in the morning.
Fridays should always be like that!
I went to the doctor on saturday regarding my cough that has been ongoing for a month plus. I was telling him about catching the cough from my roommate and thus sparked off the conversation about NUS and halls. He studied in NUS you see. He then asked me why i didn't try to see a doctor at YIH. So i blabbered on about how some people didnt get well or even got worse. Or how this friend of mine was practically telling the doctor what's his illness and what he should do instead. Then my doctor started laughing and said,
"Oh really?? I have a good friend working there."
Oops!
Then mian, kai, jess and i were supposed to go back st nicks to play badminton but were rejected by heartless security guards. They said they do not allow nobodys to play on saturdays like this and that things have changed. How hurting. We're not nobodys, but passionate old girls who still love the school so very much and used to come back to play so very often! Thankfully mian brought shuttlecocks and we had three hours of badminton almost non-stop at kebun bahru cc. I'm so glad we're still meeting up like this! SNBT power! :) Hopefully our weekly thing will work out.
I went home to a sumptious dinner of steamed crabs and prawns whipped up by my sister. I know, i dislike steamed seafood. But the chilli-padi plus garlic plus lime thingy that my sister managed to mix and churn out went so well with my favourite crab i had no excuse to reject it. Finally satiated my months of desire for crabs! Yet most importantly was that i finally had the chance to sit down and eat with my family. Really nothing beats going home to a table of familiar faces you love (not to mention food), filled with warmth and love that cannot be replaced by anything else on this earth.
And food keeps me happy!
Pace at home and in school is so different. I feel, more than often, forced to keep up yet felt abandoned in this whirlwind of tutorials and projects and deadlines and yahoogroups and ivle. Home provides a temporary haven to what holidays and school breaks taste and feel like. Relaxed, at your own pace, with overdoses of television and sleep. I can have a good 14 hour sleep at home! Yet perhaps this is what they call an unbalanced balance. I may not be leading a truly balanced life now, but at least i've tasted both sides enough to realize and truly appreciate.
I don't know if i'm hoping too much to have a cake and eat it, but it scares me to think that i haven't been able to see or talk or even have a glimpse of the shadows of many people who matter a lot to me. It somehow petrifies me that i've been walking amidst a faceless crowd, with a few familiar faces i try to catch here and there. And i'm stuck with it. I can't remember how long i haven't seen dearest boon seer. Or catch up with my buddy sinhui and talk nonsense and trick people like we used to. Or chat with my dear lilian when we used to chat non-stop in hwachong every other day. I don't even want to realize how pathetic it is that rachel is just a road down, yet i see my scary german lecturer more often than i see her. What happened to our foursome gang - me, char, alan and ber who used to go out so often? I really yearn to have a nice and heart-to-heart chat one day. It feels a little cold out here.
Somehow this whole varsity ride is taking a toll on me.
But on the other hand, i'm already very lucky to have meilin, pris, jess, min, zes, yiwen, yinghong and more here with me. See? you can't have the best of both worlds.
Changes. We all hate them, don’t we? But sometimes changes take place so slowly and unknowingly in every stage of our lives we barely recognize them. Till we look back in retrospect and realize that the world has transformed and will always be transforming. I like things to stay the same. I like to remain where I am and wish such friendships, moments and emotions would never be buried under the sands of time. Till they slowly fade away and we feel for them no more. I’m afraid that people that matter to me don’t matter anymore, or that I no longer matter as much to them. I’m afraid we all grow up and evolve into people we didn’t think we’d be, or wouldn’t want to be.
But as one slowly realize, as one steps over one stage of life to the other, and certain things change, we inadvertently adjust ourselves to accommodate these changes. So sometimes I think, what harm can they cause? I just gotta accept them as part and parcel of my life and move on. Yes, move on.
Sometimes I wish I don’t think so much.
And no yiwen, this is not a melancholic entry! Just a fleeting thought.
Had softball trials today. I had much fun! Still remember how much i wanted to join softball ever since st nicks times. Thought i could give it a shot in jc but hwachong softball was too good. Oh wells, didnt regret joining badminton again either. But my batting was really lousy. I'll be really really happy if they ever give me a chance to be in the training squad! It really puts me in a good mood being able to run in the field as the sun begins to to set, with half the sun rays still filtering through the clouds, and i could see a whole big piece of heaven's masterpiece right above me. But nobody seems to feel the same way as i do whenever i gaze and marvel at the sky. Haha.
Hockey was really difficult. I was really lousy trying to control the ball. At this rate, i'll never be in any team for IHG! Even badminton, coz there's already quite a few good players in TH. Table tennis and squash are impossible too.
Wells, at least i had a chance to try out new sports and finally do things i've always wanted to do. Anyways, i intend to just join whatever i like for the sake of pure interest and passion. It'll really defeat the purpose by joining anything just to earn points and ensure my stay next year.
Ate dinner with pris at block b tv lounge today! FINALLY had a chance to catch up with that girl. Dentistry sounds so united! Guess she's having fun with the oac people trying out the night cycling route now. Remember tennis next thursday! And i just came back with yiwen from satisfying our cravings for supper at fongseng. Talking about superficial friendships to starhub to the angmo at arts. Haha. Yinghong and meilin are playing mahjong in my room now. And i'm about to join them. Really want to forget all about my test tomorrow. :/
Sorry this is sucha crappyyyy entry.
listening to: "Carnival" by The Cardigans
Today is pure sinful because i didn't touch any books again. Nonetheless, it's a great temporary relief from the hustle bustle of uni life. Yiwen and i headed down to bugis for some shopping. Ate the famous bak kut teh that my sis brought me to! Yummmy. Good food makes me happy. Sadly, there wasn't much to buy. We rewarded ourselves with prima deli waffles and crystal jade pastries instead. Jogged with meilin at night and we spent one hour after that lying on the track, chatting and laughing away.
Thanks jess for listening! I was being silly la. Get well soon!
Carnival came by my town today
:( I can't think of anything to say right now. But i'm about to burst. This is my only means of channeling out my emotions. Wish someone's able to listen to what i have to say.
But it's okay. I'll figure a way out myself. No point troubling others.
I didn't mean it
I think i just blew a chance away. Not like it may mean anything to you anyway.
Makes me wonder how many great opportunities are missed in life. Yet when we encounter them, sometimes we don't fully cherish and simply let them go. If we had passed by one, are there more in store, better ones coming our way or we'll miss a whole load as well?
Oh wells. At least i'm quite happy the chance came along. Hahaha. Cheap thrills. Pardon me. I'll definitely think back in time to come and laugh at myself for such silly joys.
I had MNO video shooting from 10am in the morning all the way till 11pm at night. I can't believe it! Being stuck in the cold biz lounge all day along, supposedly dressing up as a ghost and acting as one. Everybody else were acting as normal office workers and i was the only one being portrayed as the unnatural being. It was kinda fun nonetheless. I had some laughter and sneezes along the way. Still can't believe i have some group members thinking i'm quiet. Whey, i like to talk!
Sometimes i feel that i could just live on simple things like that.
Played tennis on tuesday morning before MNO tutorial and squash with zes this afternoon after MNO lecture. That's the good thing about hall life. You can just gather a few good friends to play badminton, squash, tennis, jog and more! Chel and i went for the 98.7 event at club momo last night which turned out to be a real flop in the end. We found ourselves eating bak kut teh along ms road. It was fun though, being able to catch up with the girl. We had a great time laughing like mad at the whee-whee guy. All the weird antics and whee-whee and jappy style. HILARIOUS.
I wish I could surrender my soul;
Doing this as inspired by my two girls. :)
I’m the girl fascinated with words laced with beauty and sunsets coated with scarlet candy. I’m the girl you’ll find sitting by the windowpane, listening to the raindrops making soft melodies and seeking solace in the tranquility. I’m the girl who enjoys fun nights out and quiet nights in. I’m the girl whom you cannot read like a book. I’m the girl whom you have to peel layer by layer to see what’s lying beneath.
I’m the girl who cannot fathom what’s lurking beneath the murky surface or the daggers behind the smiles. I’m the girl who wants to lead a life with simplicity and love. I’m the girl who lives in the memories of the past. I’m the girl who’ll never be satiated with the present. I’m the girl who doesn’t know her own future.
I’m the girl whose heart you couldn’t unlock. She couldn’t find the key herself. I’m the girl who avoided you because she couldn’t bear to see herself manifested in the images of others. I’m the girl whom you thought was the aloof and remote sort. I’m the girl whom you loved because she was everything not. I’m the girl who wished she had been more careful with your heart. She was sorry for everything she couldn’t give, because she had received more than what she deserved. And she didn’t like that.
I’m the girl who used to wish you happiness at a distance. I’m the girl who dreamt all the good about you. I’m the girl who had to put up a brave front when you fell in love. She was devastated because she was not the girl whom you love. I’m the girl who said goodbye to someone she never had. But she picked herself up, because the world revolved that way. I’m the girl who feels nothing for you anymore, but still keeps you away. Sad to say.
I’m the girl who’s still searching while she keeps you away. I’m the girl who found the best dime in the world, just to realize she had to throw it back to the river. I’m the girl who uses the dime as a yardstick to judge the pennies that she finds thereafter. But she knows she cannot be happy like that. Nonetheless, I’m the girl who’s silly as she has always been. I’m the girl who wants to dance in the rain, smell like flowers and wait in vain. I’m the girl who already has so many good things in her life, and she’s grateful.
I’m the girl like that. How about you?
I wonder what else life is gonna throw at us. Some people come, some people go. Why can’t they just stay? They leave in the midst of tears, when the leaves begin to fall and trees starts to bald, only to return when the snow melts for the flowers to bud and blossom again. Some left in the midst of wilting friendships I wish I could mend, but I have no chance anymore. Coz the boat has drifted away along with the current and vanished out of my sight. Not returning back to Singapore anymore. Some were simply gone. Gone as God took their last breath away from them. As easy as He breathed life into them.
Time check: 12.30 A.M.
Min and mei stayed over at my house after we sent jillian off at the airport. Girl we miss you already! We spent FOUR golden hours listening to my mp3s in my computer, looking at the lyrics and mouthing the words along with the melody. Oh my.
Time check: 4.45 A.M.
I’m worried about my sister because she told me she’d go home but did not. And as I tossed and turned on my bed, all unsettled and queasy, a whole train of thoughts flooded my mind. I feel that I’ve been taking my home, my family for granted far too much and far too long. My actions simply didn’t show my appreciation for them at all. Sometimes I really wish I could go home everyday and sit down with the entire family and have dinner. But everybody, especially me, is so busy. I can’t believe I had to stay in hostel to realize I’ve been slowly slipping away.
Is it too late for such realization?
And then I feel so determined to readjust my life. I’m so lucky to be blessed with a family like this. I ought to do something about it.
And so, crazy me is right here typing in front of the computer. Time check: 7.32 A.M. With muddy swirls of thoughts turned crystal clear. And a heart so heavy lifted to feather-like weight. The sun just lit up the sky so ever beautifully. And the birds are chirping away. Maybe it’s a little silly to worry over my older sister. But maybe it was a good thing that worry came after all.
My first time trying to pay attention to MNO lecture today. Or erm attend the lecture since weeks. We watched this video Fish!, about this fish place called Pike Place Fish in Seattle, Washington. The working environment is so full of drive and dynamism! I was really in awe and inspired. The workers selling fish there are all very happy and humourous people. They throw and fling and catch customers’ fishes to one another to weigh and pack for the customers. Not forgetting joking with them as well. And beyond that laughter and throwing is pure genuine happiness in the working environment and camaraderie among all of them. The fish team, the customers, the on-lookers, everybody! It is a very nice, open-minded and friendly culture that is so lacking in Singapore today.
One of the guy said, “It’s so simple! Just make a choice – be happy!”
It’s so simple yet true.
Actually I’m pretty sick of hearing unpleasant things about people. I don’t want to succumb to conformities and let my impressions of others to be influenced so easily. But in society like this, it’s hard to really sit there and judge by yourself and not conform.
the group of dancers in pink!
presenting the dance committee :)
looks alike ain't it? haha we accidentally wore these to school together! i almost died of laughter coz zes's shade of green was 99% compatible to that of our lecture seats, min hor??
Wednesday, November 16, 2005 / 02:32 a.m.
Monday, November 14, 2005 / 02:10 p.m.
on studying
Saturday, November 12, 2005 / 02:59 a.m.
in the mood of randoms
2. Or how i think i'll miss going german lessons with yinghong and coming back in the night celebrating the end of lessons with dinner and sleep in the tv lounge.
3. Or that i miss studying at bishan cc with meilin in the past. It was then that we took on the rollercoaster ride of emotional highs and lows in our jc life. And my favourite honey milk tea and teh bing!
4. I miss lilian aplenty!
5. I cant wait for exams to be over and trainings to begin.
6. Really want to meet up with my girls boon and chel soon.
7. Dance was finally over and i had fun with the pinkies!
8. Wants to watch Oliver Twist, Harry Potter and catch the german and french films during the festival
9. Bask in the iridescent christmas lights daintily hanging on the trees of orchard road!
10. I just had prata at my favourite stall at casuarina with sq sd sh and ml just now.
Tuesday, November 8, 2005 / 12:23 a.m.
Presale Tix Price: $15 including one drink
Doors open: 9.30 pm
Dress code: Retro
Contact: Andy 98353599 Shaun 81283276
Monday, November 7, 2005 / 12:11 a.m.
schlafen
Friday, November 4, 2005 / 02:50 p.m.
Lifehouse - Better Luck Next Time
Wednesday, November 2, 2005 / 02:47 a.m.
bugs and a photo
Saturday, October 29, 2005 / 01:16 a.m.
growing up
Saturday, October 29, 2005 / 12:45 a.m.
three months
was the time I took to make myself sit down and study in jc, coz block tests were coming. It was when I sit in front of my phone, frantically calling people up to fill in my econs lecture notes the day before the test. Three months could measure how long I never did any tutorials, or how much fun I had in my initial jc days. It felt like three days indeed.
is the time I take to seriously pay full attention to my lectures in uni. And realize my legal and MNO modules are actually really interesting. I enjoyed these two lectures I last attended this week. But that discovery came too late. DAMN!
Monday, October 24, 2005 / 12:17 a.m.
dancing
Sunday, October 23, 2005 / 04:33 a.m.
fridays
Monday, October 17, 2005 / 04:21 a.m.
blabberings
Saturday, October 15, 2005 / 02:50 a.m.
not enough time for everybody
Tuesday, October 11, 2005 / 04:25 a.m.
a random one
Saturday, October 8, 2005 / 03:04 a.m.
a happy day
Thursday, October 6, 2005 / 02:29 a.m.
come on and love me now
bright lights from giantwheels
fall on the alleyways
and I'm here
by my door
waiting for you
I will never know
cause you will never show
come on and love me now
come on and love me now
Monday, October 3, 2005 / 05:05 p.m.
we belong together
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
(We belong together)
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together
I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me
"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
"I only think of you"
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life, baby
Sunday, October 2, 2005 / 02:55 a.m.
chances - they come and go
Saturday, October 1, 2005 / 03:32 a.m.
tears and rain
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See a liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I'd screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same:
It just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words:
It's just tears and rain.
Tears and rain
Far, Far away;find comfort in pain
All pleasures the same:
It just keeps me from trouble
Its more than just words;
It's just tears and rain
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 / 02:50 a.m.
i'm that girl
Sunday, September 25, 2005 / 07:43 a.m.
tonnes of musings
Friday, September 23, 2005 / 05:30 p.m.
be happy!
