Thursday, November 21, 2002

it certainly feels weird not needing to feel bad that i kept slacking and not studying anymore. but i had been slacking that i feel before and after os life doesnt exactly make a difference. hehs, so does chel.

happy birthday lina!!!

yesterday went out after exams with boon chel sha and simin. hahahas. chel was picking up some french sentences and me and boon tried to learn them. all the kar mon ta le vour?, sava and je mapelle bun sha. hahahahahas no all the spellings are wrong, obviously. we were at sha's piano place at taka and 2 of us started trying to ask each other questions in french, with a few muas. we got so cracked up and started laughing like mad. i laughed so hard i just sat on the floor and laugh. -hides face-

den, we watched harry potter. Hermione is so pretty pretty! :) and the real dumbledore had passed away recently. :( i hate hate the squalling baby yams. sitting beside sha is quite a cracking up experience. she kept laughing at all the strange lil happenings during the show coz she finds them lame. walked super a lot after the movie after sha went home. we kept convincing ourselves the beeg Os, not so important as it seems, is over. all our years of education for this den poof! our legs and shoulders ached pretty much from all the walkings. reached home at 8 and decided i shall allow myself to rot and rest for a while today. after today, my whole schedule till grad is very closely packed. i think i'm going out every single day..! i guess our sentosa outing gotta be postponed. :/

// so lately, been wondering
who will be there to take my place
when i'm gone you'll need love
to light the shadows on your face
if a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
then between the sand and stone
could you make it on your own

if i could, then i would
i'll go wherever you will go
way up high or down low
i'll go wherever you will go

and maybe, i'll find out
a way to make it back someday
to watch you, to guide you
through the darkest of your days
if a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
then I hope there's someone out there
who can bring me back to you

if i could turn back time
i'll go wherever you will go
if i could make you mine
i'll go wherever you will go //

relinquished control at 02:16 p.m.

Monday, November 18, 2002

one more paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -jumps up and down-

today really sucked in the beginning. firstly, geog exam was really a major killer. it's the hardest geog paper i ever took. hahas, but of all os papers, i find amaths the hardest. erms, guess it's only me. yup, next, i went to buy curry puff and was happily msging in the bus when a vicious heavy thunderstorm came my way. arghs, need i mention i have to walk 10 minutes to my house and there's absolutely no shelter? grr, yea, the disadvantage of living in a new neighbourhood like punggol. of course i have nearer bus-stops, but who cares about the funny buses they have there. yes, on the way, the traffic light was actually down and i had to prevent myself from getting knocked down by the massive heap of metals zooming past me. by the time i got home, i looked like a silly billy who just swam in the pacific ocean for a few days. wow.

yesterday channel 8 was showing the top 10 food in ang mo kio. was wondering whether me and kai's childhood curry puff will be on the list when poof! it's first! haha was so excited i msged chel and kai about it. chel's dad bought 12 before! -admiration- hehs, kai was about to msg me too. had the urge to get two today and whoa, the queue's unusually long! hehs, old chang kee's one is really nothing compared to this. yes, and i shall stop advertising for that uncle. hahas.

i can almost taste freedom already!! yippee, can't wait to absorb the christmas atmosphere at night in town! :D

my strategic plans after os:
1. get some stuff for some people with some person hahas
2. get camera from huihui [thanks sweets!]
3. play badminton with snbt peeps
4. get grad stuff
5. dye my hair
6. vainity day with jess!
7. grad!
8. play mahjong with sha and peeps
9. chalet!
10. get a job
11. help szu and jess with their layouts
12. stayover at jess'
13. plan fer xmas party!

oh yes, that's pretty long. and awww, can't study amaths today. too many tv shows! hahas. and my gbook entries ain't increasing correspondingly! :(

relinquished control at 06:15 p.m.

Saturday, November 16, 2002

an uneasy, melancholic feeling is creeping its way back to me. i don't know exactly how it started, or how i am supposed to push it away. :( oh eeks. a few more weeks, and it's time to say goodbye. no more recess, no more bummin' in class and doing lame stuff together. haha -sniffs- i seem to forget i have geog exam on monday?! ahh.. hahas.

so here's my plans, which some are actually totally impossible. i wanna buy slippers, shorts, nice top, dye my hair, go sentosa, go esplanade at night, have a lovely xmas party, go to a jc where i see all my friends, surfboard, take up latin dancing and french. as the list goes down, it gets harder. i guess i'm not so rich to take up the courses, oh wells.

relinquished control at 01:17 p.m.

Friday, November 15, 2002

two more papers baby! :D suddenly, i've got this feeling exam's over. hee hee. my brain was really saturated today, and we all went berserk. hahas, firstly, me and boon kept ka chiaoing mian during break time. ;) den me boon min pris sha went to last yr's old classroom to study. sha was talking about some ghosts when i opened the dark room. suddenly i saw a yellow figure moving. gosshh! screamed at the top of my lungs while the others followed suit. hahas, of course, the auntie sleeping inside was startled. -hides face- we laughed outside for super loong time before going in. super super cracked up. like alkenes. alkanes? can't remember. pardon me for me being chemmy today. i have to admit, i really miss my old classroom. :( where the 3 of us just went crazy, come to think of it, i wondered how the class first thought of us. giggly? crazy? childish? a mixture i guess. or compound. oh whatever! went pasar malam near 631 after chem papers with kai. she, as the usual pig, ate damnnn a lot. hahas, went home with eyes half-closed. watched beyond belief and we both guessed wrongly almost half of the stories! :/ -yawns-

you better lose yourself in the music
the moment you own it you better never let it go
you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
coz opportunity comes once in a lifetime
you better lose yourself in the music
the moment you own it you better never let it go
you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
coz opportunity comes once in a lifetime
you better

relinquished control at 10:47 p.m.

Thursday, November 14, 2002

eeks! there's chem and emaths tomorrow. unfortunately, i only started today and fell asleep in the afternoon. :( oh! my lovely song!

// constantly girl you're on my mind
girl, I think about you all of the time
and even though words are hard to say
girl i miss you, never thought i'd feel this way

if you keep on taking
my heart you'll be breaking
so why do you do this to me
you know how i'm feeling
it's you i believe in
baby can't you see that i need you?

(you know that it's true)
every time i see your face i miss you lady
(you know that it's you)
i wanna let you know you're driving me crazy
i'd do anything to help you to see
i don't think you understand what you're doing to me
(you know that it's true)
every now and then i wanna call you lately
(you know that it's you)
i send a prayer that you'll come back to me lady
life ain't anything alone, can't you see
you're an angel in my eyes
everyday, you're closer to me

nobody's there when i call your name
and nights are cold girl without your flame
but if i could girl i'd make you see
that i'm sorry, that i need you here with me

everyday reminisce about the past
of a love that we thought would last
how we used to be when it was you and me
how did it all disappear so fast
there are days that i can't forget
there are things that i now regret
i was there for you when you were there for me
and i was thinkin' we were set
every night when i'm laying in my bed
i hear your voice going round in my head
think of all the things I could have done and
all those things i could have said
i really will make it up to you
i know now what i've got to do
it took time but now
i've realised how much i'm missing you //

relinquished control at 06:49 p.m.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

i scored 70 for virn's test! it's a A2 okays. -feels proud- i created one again. :) those who took my quiz last year [i think] will not be surprised at my last question. hahas, here it is.

4 more papers!!! and we'll be all free like birds. :D nearly fell asleep during physics today. actually, i did sleep for a while during paper one mcq. yay, gonna watch harry potter on the last day! hees, can't wait.

// i never asked for this feeling
i never thought i would fall
i never knew how i felt
till the day you were gone
i was lost
i never asked for red roses
i wasn't looking for love
somehow I let my emotions take hold
and guess what all at once i'm in love

oh i miss you so much i long for your love it scares me coz my heart gets so weak that i can't even breathe how can you take things so easily baby why aren't you missing me?

why did i act like you mattered
it was silly of me to believe
that if i just opened my heart
things would come naturally
jokes on me
i did not ask for love letters
so why did you give them to me
how could i let your intentions
get hold over me
so in love so naive

and oh how i hate what you have done
made me fall so deep in love
got no cure
you're the only one i want
that i love oh baby
baby why aren't you missing me?
baby why aren't you missing me? //

relinquished control at 06:18 p.m.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

don't know whether i'm supposed to talk about my papers yest and today because it's totally.. urks. i actually left out one question.. coz i didn't see it??? -slaps forehead- eeeks. of coz, i left many blanks too. nobody agrees with me that prelims paper is easier.. :(( -sadded-

i hate the ketchup song!!! -looks at jess- all the hees and heys.. it's both hypnotizing and irritating. somebody called in to 98 fm quite long ago and said it's the suckiest song ever. hehs. anybody watched the mtv? :/

off to more.. sadness

relinquished control at 07:29 p.m.

Saturday, November 9, 2002

just finished watching my best friend's wedding for the third time. ahhs, i still love the show much! i still nearly cried at the boat part, and still touched when george was present at the wedding. a really sweet and touching show i must say. i hope the movie starring sandra bullocks next will be while he was sleeping! though, i've watched it many times too. simply love julia roberts and sandra bullocks :D

me and kai were chased out by the mos burger auntie today coz we went out for too long. she tried to scare us by saying that by ten minutes, they would have send our bags to the police station. oh c'mon! went to sch instead and met jessica at the canteen. had a little badminton session and the weather's really hot! yeps, didnt complete much today but at least i did touch on the books. :) yippee doopsie.

// the moment i wake up
before i put on my makeup
i'll say a little prayer for you
while combing my hair now
and wondering what dress to wear now
i'll say a little prayer for you

forever and ever you'll stay in my heart
and i will love you
forever and ever we never will part
oh, how i'll love you
together forever
that's how it must be to live without you
it'll only be heartbreak for me

i run for the bus dear
while riding i think of us dear
i'll say a little prayer for you
at work, i just take time
and all through my coffee break time
i'll say a little prayer for you

my darling, believe me
for me there is no one but you
please love me too
and i'm in love with you
answer my prayer babe
say you love me too //

relinquished control at 09:56 p.m.

Saturday, November 9, 2002

i wish i could define
all the thoughts that crossed my mind
they seem too big for me to choose
i don’t know which ones to use
when i’m fallin’ down so far
i think i’ll never see your light
bouncin’ off of me
shinin’ down here from your eyes

help me
figure out the difference
between right and wrong, weak and strong
day and night, where i belong
help me
make the right decisions
know which way to turn, lessons to learn
and just what my purpose is here, oh, yeah
it’s like i got the signals crossed
with messages i can’t decode
half asleep, never wide awake
and i’m in complete overload

i got so much information here
and nothin’ i can really grasp
i should know the truth
but i’m too afraid, so i have to ask

help me figure out why i’m stuck in the middle
tryin’ to understand why i can’t
why you’re such a riddle
got my eyes crossed
thinkin’ so hard and i know i’m missin’ the mark
can you help me sort out all this information
i’m just wrackin’ my brain, baby, payin’ attention
but i’m still lost and at all costs
i gotta know

relinquished control at 12:05 a.m.

Friday, November 8, 2002

today's been a reeaal sleepy day! i'm really glad there were 4 hours between paper 1 and 2, as i only studied 2 books for chinese yesterday. hahas, had excessive sleeping [around 5 hours!?] and watched Who Wants To Be A Princess and kind of felt that i've wasted my time. :/ wells, there's nothing much to comment except.. the prince is too small for his princess?!

i've gotta biggest shock of my life yesterday. my invigilator was this big burly man and yah, that's the picture. then when he opened his mouth i almost DIED of shock! OH MY GOSH his voice is so womanish nobody can imagine it. his voice is much higher than mine, at least. i looked up at him again and tried to convince myself. yah, he is flat what. [er, haha] weee.. i almost laughed out loud but managed to just giggle to myself. i bet if people like.. virn -?!- is there, she'll just laugh her head off. :D no i didnt mean i laugh at his voice, just that i was a little too shocked. :) and i didnt realise there are many other lit books besides julius caesar and tkamb. i have a mind to burn all my lit notes and chinese books now. hehs, except to kill a mockingbird of course. it's one of my fave books! everytime i study something, the thing that makes me continue is the thought that i won't have to touch that subject ever again. for a good example, social studies. weirdly as it seems now, i may not even need to write chinese anymore.

go on. i don't give a damn.

by the way, my phone broke down again. DAMN. i can't wait for exams to be over mans. my farewell chalet!!! we sec 4s want a beeg nice present okays! -looks at virn- :) suddenly, it seems so weird. for 3 years, we've been the ones racking our brains, thinking of presents and going carrefour together and get all the food needed. we are getting old..

relinquished control at 10:21 p.m.

Wednesday, November 6, 2002

i have lit exam tm and i haven't studied julius caesar! :( running out of time, hais. yesterday reached home at around 7 after exams and was so sleepy i slept pretty early. heehee. i screwed up my english compo so badly i couldnt even believe it. i attempted 3 topics man. and it isnt even over 350 words. i would have cried over it, but come to think of it, i'm laughing over my content. yeahs, laughing. haha, cant believe i wrote those crap. how ironical. anyways, pretty amused by what szuyu's trying to do in my guestbook. -hmmms- :D

yesterday, me and chel were on the bus when we couldnt resist the temptation but stopped 2 stops later to get some yummy taiwan sausage. wells, i bet she wants to puke now! i forgot chang actually meant intestine, but by that time i finished eating it. phew. hahas, she screamed and gave me a really beeg shock of my life. ohs! phua chu kang is back and still as funny! :)

be careful of your eyeballs.

xius: hey!! i want cookies!! so cuute.. how to mould them into stars?! isnt it difficult? you'll make a real good mother, hehe. i'll update our journ some day kaes? :) thanks for the encouragement, toods.

off to study!

relinquished control at 09:07 p.m.

Monday, November 4, 2002

eeeks, feeling quite weird now. i only completed 4 chapters of social studies and if these chapters don't come out tm, i'm a piece of dead meat. or bones, whatever. the worse is, i don't even feel like o levels is tm!!! not at all, nope. :((((((((((( this is called pre-exam syndrome.

knew i shouldnt have, but watched 2002 world music awards anyways. enrique iglesias is really hot! :D

can't get anything into my head. :(

this is even worse than prelims. :(

relinquished control at 04:06 p.m.

Sunday, November 3, 2002

online AGAIN because i just cant seem to get those better support facilities and stuff like that into my head. oh guess what, i'm at my first chapter when kai finished one whole damn book already. :( wells, talking to adeline now! my shifu in badminton, now in melbourne. haha, talk about long-lost friend man. she said don't go to a school coz of my friends or i'll regret it. listen hard, szuyu! :) in a super high yet down mood now. what the hell. don't even know what the hell i'm talking about now. just typing on and on with my injured finger and listening to some songs on repeat mode. i don't wanna touch those damn books!!! -kicks- -stamps- how good is it to be in a country when i'm already old enough to drive and have fun. eeks. okays, back to reality.

// please come now i think i'm falling
i'm holding on to all i think is safe
it seems i found the road to nowhere
and i'm trying to escape
i yelled back when i heard thunder
but i'm down to one last breath
and with it let me say

let me say hold me now
i'm six feet from the edge
and i'm thinking
that maybe six feet ain't so far down

i'm looking down now that it's over
reflecting on all of my mistakes
i thought i found the road to somewhere
somewhere in His grace
i cried out "Heaven save me"
but i'm down to one last breath
and with it let me say
let me say

hold me now i'm six feet
from the edge and i'm thinking
that maybe six feet ain't so far down

sad eyes follow me but i still believe
there's something left for me
so please come stay with me
'cause i still believe there's something left
for you and me
for you and me
for you and me //

relinquished control at 12:21 a.m.

Saturday, November 2, 2002

yippee, got this nice template somewhere. did i ever mention my favourite season is autumn? :) i got this msg from boonie telling me our favourite nj guy gotta sister from st nicks! oh gosh, i nearly fainted. won't mention who the sister is over here, heehee.

visit here to check out the calories intake for macdonalds food!

acks, i was damn suay on friday. my dad was fetching me to yck mrt. den he stopped for a while, saying the door's not properly closed. he opened it, and i was reaching for the seat belt, telling him its the seat belt that got stuck there and he didnt know and slammed the door closed!! my gosh, my middle finger was caught in the door!!! i hurried him to open, and the pain was really.. throbbing..! it was bright red.. those internal bleeding kind? not sore kind of red.. arghs. hurried to get a packet of ice .. it's not hurting anymore, but the red is still there. super gross. looks like red ink was splashed on it. :/ imagine the skin was open, blood would have splurt out and it would be such a grosteque sight. hee, oops.

haven't started chem lit or chinese and i just studied a few pages of social studies. goodness, think i was even more prepared for my prelims. oh wells :/

// people say that together we were both sides of the same coin
that we would shine like Venus in a clear night sky
we thought our love could overcome the circumstances
but my ambition wouldn't allow for compromise

i could see in the distance all the dreams that were clear to me
every choice that i had to make left you on your own
somehow the road we started down had split asunder
too late to realise how far apart we'd grown.

how i wish i, wish i'd done a little bit more
now 'shoulda woulda coulda' means i'm out of time
coz 'shoulda woulda coulda' can't change your mind
and i wonder, wonder, wonder what i'm gonna do
'shoulda woulda coulda' are the last words of a fool

people ask how it feels to live the kind of life others dream about
i tell them everybody gotta face their highs and their lows
and in my life there's a love i put aside
cause i was busy loving something else
so for every little thing you hold on to
you've got to let something else go

how i wish i, wish i'd done a little bit more
now 'shoulda woulda coulda' means i'm out of time
coz 'shoulda woulda coulda' can't change your mind
and i wonder, wonder, wonder what i'm gonna do
'shoulda woulda coulda' are the last words of a fool

fool if i would now forsake the opportunities are fate
i know i'm right where i belong
but sometimes when i'm not so strong i..//

relinquished control at 06:00 p.m.