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300901
here online in the very early morning. suddenly felt very weird and strange. i felt so scared. i dunnno whats going on over me. =( i wish somebody can tell me...
start from friday. in school was a tragedy. received some fuckedup messages which made me very fuckedup for the whole day. din feel like toking to anybody. after school was a comedy. chel n me studied in the library. when it was abt to close, me n chel was doing some very brain-racking maths qtns den she suddenly went crazy and says "help" as if she's stranded on some deserted island. den we went out, some sec 1 broke our test-tube and she looked so scared. i meant to say "its ok, dun let this ruin the human relationship bcoz of a test-tube" in the end cum out as "dun ruin the human...HAHAHHA".... i think the sec 1 was very frightened by my outburst of laughter. anyway i started laffing like crazy coz after the maths, chel started toking in a very slow way, as if she very hard to tok like that. think becoz of the maths. =) den i couldnt help laffing. plus she got damn a lot of books. looks damn pathetic. halfway we stopped and laff laff laff. den we went on, saw miss choo (maths tcher) and i felt something tickling my hand. i MEANT it as a fly but words came out as "oh my gosh there's a mouse!" hahahahaha den chel started panicking and i laffed like crazy. i started explaining that its only a fly, den we started to drop our books on our floor and laff laff laff. the tcher looked so amused and strange.she asked if we are okay. we never answeer...just laff n laff. den sumore we wanted to pee. den chel keep on making me laff, so it makes me wanna go toilet even more. i laff until i cry can. den suddenly we started lafffing again n i had to drop my books n sit on the floor. i really buay tahan liao. den chel kept laffing, say i fall down very funny, n tried to demo, i covered my eyes. i dun wanna wet myself there. she wanted to pee too. hhaaha. maths makes me mad.
saturday, went to study in the library again. it wasnt so fruitful anymore. its kinda stressing and tiring. =(
today, after sms-ing with aileen for a while, everything started cuming back to me again. start to indulge in self-pity again. i'm willing to listen to anyone, but hu cums and lisetn to mine? i hate myself for not forgetting. its so hard to. even if i tried not thinking, x will cum appearing in my dreams again. haunting me. i hate myself for not being able to let go. i din even have anything in the first place. just holding on to something which is actually not there. wonder if i'll every feel again.
i look around and its u that i cant replace
270901
hasnt been here for quite a long time. been mugging away, and partly wathcing tv. =( getting so damn sick of school. exams are cuming, and my direction is wrong!
i feel used. feel that in the past i am just a tool for her to confide in and giving advice. now i find it so hard to talk to her. i feel that she gotta lotsa restrictions when talking to me. hais. felt that i am the only one giving. used to treasure this friendship a lot. but i guess now, she dunch really care, so theres nth i can do
really love the song fallin, qing fei de yi and turn off the lights. they just sort of reflect whats going on in ur life...and lurve the tune of turn of the lights. heard tt shantelle sing the
"rough rough rough" part like a dog. haha. cant wait to hear tt.
dun think anybody will believe me if i say my most feared exam is lit. well...and geog n physics... its true, i havent even touch the book for revision. that kind of sux. din even noe hu is mr gilmer and mr underwood. wad the...
zhi pa wo zi ji hui ai shang ni
bu gai rang zi ji kao de tai jing
pa wo mei she me neng liu gei ni
ai ni ye xu yao hen da de yong qi
zhi pa wo zi ji hiu ai shang ni
ye xu you yi tian hui qing bu zi jin
xiang ai zhi rang zi ji ku le zi ji
ai shang ni shi wo qing fei de yi
when i'm thinking i'm taking more than would a fool
i start fallin' back in love with you
not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems
220901
today is zoe tay's wedding day. think if she watched the variety show bt the dedications for her, she'll be so touched she'll cry. its so big even my mum ask me to remind her to watch. heh. they sang many love songs, i like zai wo sheng ming li de mei yi tian. hee~
studied with chel today. studied a lot. felt quite proud of ourselves. rewarded ourselves with mouth-watering breadtalk. ahaha~ we love it. the library was REALLY quiet, we had to whisper. n when we got out, we cant get used to our normal volume. =) it was a fruitful afternoon.
din noe fallin' is made up of jazz notes. loved tt song. was so happy when i heard it oin my receiver, can be playing over n over again in my head.
reallie cannot stand our class. exams are cuming. n we even went quickly to play cards. haha best~ its like exams r over. think i cannot finished studying. i got more than half the books to do. hais.
i've been sitting here
trying to find myself
i get behind myself
i need to rewind myself
lookin' for the playback
listen for the playback
170901
finally online again. online is getting so boring. shall not tok abt the usa attack anymore. so saddening and nothing much new bt it. maria says she dun wan to noe what gonna happen in the next few days....
i lurrrve the song fallin' by alicia keys! so nice... haha and the lyrics... heh shall not elaborate on that. it just sorta, brings out something. it keeps on playing in my head.
i keep fallin'
in and out
of love with you
i never
loved someone
the way i love you
today is just another boring day. weird that mr COLD (koh) nv dismiss us early like the previous times. gotta ask him bt the geog stuff. if can, i will not touch manufacturing AT ALL. heh. depends on the question. if its mixed, i'll be so sad. actually, study so hard for sec 3 exam for what? any help for ur O levels? no.
anyways, something for yingjun>>sec 4 liao still cum online!! haha anyways u should add a gbook! oh yah how cum i nv see my name there arhs. kinda sad leh. *sniff*
rachel>>haha paiseh! din mean it. forgot the tag ehs. bleahs. *slaps myself*
[how][could][you][give][me][so][much][pleasure][and][cause][me][so][much][pain]
130901
today slacked like shit. maria nv cum fer lessons for three periods! heh. damn happy. did a lot of rubbish in class. today our class felt like exams are over. ahaha they haf lil gatherings here and there and playing cards, screaming (boon) and toking abt ghost stories. guess what, me n chel sewed lots of stuff using shuhan's fabric! haa we did this stars thingie den we put it on our bag. then we did handphone pouch. mine too big so chel use it as her wallet pouch. haha den we sewed g-string style panty n tube and vest for sandy's moffy! WAHAHHA thats the corniest thing ever. imagine in jc cannot do tt liao. heh. make the most huh.
when i heard abt the use terrorists attack i felt damn sad. saw tt man jumping off the building in the newspaper. hais. imagine u're in the buidling and suddenly the building comes tumbling down like uno stacko and u still dunno why you die. =( tt osama looks like genghis khan kind of pple. heh. we're surrounded by islamic countries. that stupid boon says go north pole n play with polar bears lah. the safest. wahahha me laffed like mad.
i never did wanna compare anybody. all of them are my dearest friends, they all are placed in an important place in my heart. they are great friends. why should i compare them? maybe i said things in the wrong way. n i wished i had never made sucha big fuss. for my stupidity and childishness and sillyness. after the hols, i grew more understanding. haha put myself in other pple's shoes. well. wadeva.
damn exams are cuming. actually study so hard fer sec 3 for what? all that matters is the O's isnt it? prelims study so hard fer what? it only get u somewhere for first 3 mths anyway. heh. maybe satisfactory.
find it getting more n more boring going to sch. like as if there's nth to look at, nth to think of. just slack n study n rot. think i really let go. of sth that dun belong to me. that's good.
listening to have a nice day. what a nice n cheerful song. but just cant seem to find the lyrics. so sad. just realised the song title i wanted to know so long ago, asked so many pple is finally found! kidrock's only God knows why. i'm wols larhs, i like that song. so many songs tt i've been asking this person tt person, the answer is just so easily answered by rachel. like careless whisper n only God knows why. haha. nt time dunno anything, ask rachel.
080901
my first entry! hehe decided to change coz the previous one only can have one entry per page. anyways shall tok abt the trip! 11 mosquito bites on right leg and 12 on left leg...
the two days seemed damn long. coz of the 3/4 hours of travelling and stuff. n whoa the a-framed hut looked like some kampongs as tall as a tall human. heh. shared room wif szuyu carolyn pamela wynnie. waha some primary girls. their lunch ah, some funny-raw-looking chicken and veggie. was ok lah. then we had trekking. so eeky! sooo damn hot sumore hafta wear jacket and track pants. din even enjoy the scenery coz too concentrated on looking at the damn narrow track n shouting behind to ask them to be careful of the holes and danger. the obstacles in the forest damn funny lor. this thin log abt as long as my leg, placed there above this small puddle of water. then hafta cross it. wahahaha ok wadeva.
then we had some team building games. not very fun lehs. things like willow in the wind, broken telephone line blahs. the instructors were quite corny n lame larhs. got one looks like yixiu. =)
at night our dinner consists of fried chicken n nasilemak rice. not bad lehs, tt fussy szuyu gimme lotsa rice. me gain she loss. wahaha~
had to do this advertisement to promote badminton. erms ours quite weird. episode 2 of the kampong story. budden not funny or interesting but hu cares! wished xiao zhang was here. she'll make everything much more fun n instills more spirit in us. the whole trip ah, other ccas so quiet, only badminton yakking away with our cheers over n over again. say until i so paiseh. say until i think others can recite liaos. *giggles*
then the teachers had a talk with us. they said got this outstanding grp always taling care fof the primary n got mroe spirit n nice here nice there, din even think its us. den kangwei kept thinking so. haha in the end they announced "badminton" wah i damn shocked. haha got only 6 of us very good ah? ehs ok thank u thank u. *bows* =)
sleeping time! lots bugs can... pengs tt szuyu keep making us sing songs. then the primary girls quite cornie oso. pamela looks so sweet n chio n her laffter sux! waha heard tt kaixin they all heard sth drop on their hut, den scratching n sawing noises at the bottom. so scary! think the wild boars/ monkeys did it. i saw monkeys n iguana in the day! anwyays think they all got scared away by our "chesdale chesdale" and "samsungsamsungsamsung"! wahahahhaah~
wah damn man i forgot to bring my whole pack of toiletries. heh~ morning exercise n then river-crossing! i was sooo scared its very dangerous n high up blah. in the end its just a rope going across the water surface n u haf a life-jacket, body attached to the rope then use ur hands to "climb" the rope n get over the other side. due to time constraint, we only went there n came back by speed boat. dangerous meh? say until the primary girls cannot attend ah, got life insurance ah. haha nvm lah. got experience good liaos/ then we had rafting! 10 pple on a raft. one raft at a time =(. tot can go quite far. hais only a bit, at least our grp went the furthest. i think. paddle paddle paddle shouting one-two one-two. the instructors called the p-sch girls "babies" n we the "motherS" n we assigned to our own baby. then must take care of them. think raftin fun lah. the primary kids enjoyed it.
ok now cum to the most most irritating part of the trip. ultimately MANY-FATS-SHORT-POTATO-HEAD. ok lets call IT mf (many fats). "it" coz it is not fit to be called she or he.
ok first day was fine. just couldnt stand the sight of mf. think pple wun understand y i so disgusted. dun ask me y. only sinhui'll understand i guess. the feeling is like disgusted by a person, even seeing the sight of the person irritates u, n even mentioning the person's name! ok~
second day. guess what it wore. this sleeveless shirt! oh GROSS!!! *pukes* PLS LARHS it is not even muscular. go wear that lor. den it brot us for warm-up then it said sth like "behind pple spread out i not very tall cannot c u" wahhahaha it finally got it. wadeva. den it berot us for a jog, den we said a cheer den he clapped n said very good. pls larh, none of its business.
den river-crossing also. wadeva the instructor asked us to tie this rope blah blah it kept walking ard n teaching oso. helo? u r not the instructor.WAH KAO it wore life-jacket n climbed over too. pls lor it just wanna get into the water n show off its fats. n get wet thinking it will look good.
rafting ah, the most IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! everybody was so grossed out. the instrctor teaching den it kept trying to help pls lr. it maes things worse. i think it said sth like must paddle this way to one girl on the raft (trying out on land) n den the instructor said sth like its totallly wrong. LOL. then waD thE F**K when the raft got into the water it ran to wear a life jacket n swam to the raft n stayed ard there. PLS LARHS!!!!! u r not of any help AT ALL OK!!! it just stayed there lookin at the girls while the instructor on top of the raft oso to assist them. den it kept swimming ard showing off! wah when it was our turn, i nearly shoved the oar into its face. but a bit far. kaos damn disgusting can. i really damn damn grossed out.
den we were carrying the raft back. my hands got lotsa sand so i sorta stopped. den it instructed kaixin to change place wif me. (i was holding the more impt side of the raft) wah lao pls lor. not even of much help oder pple ard. got problem issit.
queuein up for passport. den it suddenly grabbed my elbow n dragged me to another shorter queue. FWAH i was REALLY R*E*A*L*L*Y disgusted lors!
the whole trip was fun except it lor. esp rafting. it is supposed to be the most fun part n mf is there to ruin it. thanks a lot man.
went macs for dinner. had fun wif kx szuyu tav kw sin n sandy. haha kx szuyu they all laffing at sandy. *waha*
today went to tighten my braces. changed it to lime green. =) (again)
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