Sunday, December 1, 2002

gonna watch ghostship tm with szu! though i'm quite afraid the show won't be good as i've checked that the rating isnt good. szuyu is totally gaga over the hairdresser we met. hahas. :) i suddenly remember that vj's uniform, badminton and softball are better. damnnn. i'm telling myself from this moment on, i shall never decide on anything i'll regret again. :/ the feeling sucks. vj is, after all, my dream school since so long ago. sniffs. i hate myself!! :(

i think i miss rachel already!! hahahas. think i'll go her blog later for fun. :)

damn, i can't seem to find the sorry seems to be the hardest word mtv. duncan looks so cuuute inside! :) what a sad sad song. :/

// what i got to do to make you love me?
what i got to do to make you care?
what do i do when lightning strikes me?
and i wake to find that you’re not there?

what i got to go to make you want me?
what i got to do to be heard?
what do i say when it’s all over?
sorry seems to be the hardest word.

it’s sad, so sad
it’s a sad, sad situation.
and it’s getting more and more absurd.
it’s sad, so sad
why can’t we talk it over?
oh it seems to me
that sorry seems to be the hardest word. //

relinquished control at 09:25 p.m.

Saturday, November 30, 2002

went to training for a while today and had my photos developed. i certainly hope they come out alright! hehs. kai's photos are quite nice. stroked for a while too but since i'm wearing slippers [and the only one too], i didn't exactly play or something. mmms, i suddenly miss badminton! :)

chalet's coming! haha heard they changed some ideas about our presents. the sadd thing is, the juniors are going for training! damn.. actually the saddest thing is, i didn't get to take sec4snbt photos with them on grad night! :(((( was running about the lobby barefooted with boonie, trying not to be a dian deng pao and asking people to help us take photos. hahahas -hides face-

relinquished control at 10:56 p.m.

Saturday, November 30, 2002

oh goodness! i slept for 4 pm all the way to 6 am! it certainly feels weird sleeping when the day is bright and wake up after a long slumber to find the day turning bright in the twinkling of an eye. hmms!
chel enjoy your trip kaes! sorry about not being able to reply u while u're on the plane coz i fell asleep!
szuyu i wanna slap your face! :/

i think i'll update the grad pixes soon, though my new layout is kind of ready! i'm suddenly at a loss of what to do.

relinquished control at 07:08 a.m.

Friday, November 29, 2002

whoa. i actually took around 3 hours deciding which school i should go. chel and boon are out to make me cry with their blogs as all the memories unfold with a wave of nostalgia. sometimes, i really wish we didn't get so close. lol. the parting hurts. i guess i've said what i wanted to say to you guys, though i believe there are more embarrassing details that need not be revealed. haha you guys really rock you know. keep in touch or i'll send miffy after you! =:x

to szuyu jess kai sinhui pris lydia simin sha sin sa han mich sher wen bean i didn't mean to be so cheesy today [can't help it lah] but i love you all! :D

-yawns- i'll better get to sleep now. i only slept from 4 am to 7am!

relinquished control at 03:33 p.m.

Friday, November 29, 2002

hmmms, just reached home from grad. i shall start from the beginning of the day

went with szuyu to do our hair at this salon place at bugis in the morning. the hairstyles we did were pretty satisfying i must say. hahas we were really late for rehearsal but anyways, rehearsals are dumb. sneaked out and had makeup done by boon's friend's friend, who is an ex st nicks girl and a pro! haha. it's pretty good. den we went down to the ballroom and took loads and loads of photos! everybody looked so prettttyyy!! the real thing started and wells, the food isnt that good i guess. i love our class video! :) boon chel and me kept sneaking out to meet this person, meet that person and to avoid the boring speeches by people i don't know. we sang several songs and me and boon cried uncontrollably! chel teared. :) wells, i guess we're the only two who smudged our make-up. i said to miss poore sorry for all the inconvenience caused and we started to admit eating in class last times. haha, funny us! miss poore, as usual, replied that we should have gave her some. -cracks up- chel went to talk to daryl and me and boon tried our best not to be so bright and went around the lobby barefooted. hahas, wearing heels hurt! went back to our hotel room and pris sha min chrystle lyd started playing cards while the 3 of us jsut sat at the balcony and talked for a while. it really feels bittersweet talking to your friends and you know you may never be this close to them ever again. boon cried :( and almost started me off. 3 of us went down to the lobby and sat at the sofa fer a while. ahha, we started going siao and talking rubbish again and laughed like nobody's business. continued in a mad manner to 7-11 at around.. 3+ and met a lot of ha-ha-ha-happening ah bengs there. hahahas -private joke- :D oh, yes we saw someone STILL in her make-up and gown and accessories and everything. whoa, so funky sia. chel ate cup noodles while me and boon ate ice-cream at the lobby. met tav and chris there. haha, we played a trick on pris they all. chel tried to ask them to keep quiet in a "manly" voice while banging the door. sadly, as usual, our trick always fails. all tired from a hectic day, some of us fell asleep. when i woke up, i felt like it's all just a dream. got a nice rose, a pouch filled with saga seeds and notes and a really sweet photoframe and cup. how about a really nice wood thingy with the faith mascot inside?

what more can i say? when chel asked us what jc we're going to, i almost wanted to cry. that's coz i knew all 3 answers will be different. it's like some people have formed such a big part of your life that when you realised they won't ever be by your side again, you just feel so hopeless and can do nothing but watch them leave as your heart breaks. i suddenly feel so old. :/ i'm so used to them i can only expresss myself freely or say/do stupid silly things in front of them. i'm just glad i spent quite a fruitful night with them and took a lot of photos to keep the memories alive. we only live once, and the world's so big. i can say it is really fate that brought our paths cross each other. funnily, what pan said when we're in sec 1 is so true. she told us the friends you made in sec 1 will turn out to be the best friends you'll ever make in st nicks life. how ironic it is when we didn't believe these words right from the start. how about saying the best friends i have around me now are those i already knew from sec 1? :/ yes, and we all gonna split, pursuing our own goals in different directions. i'll never be able to present half-done lit essays with han jiel and chel during lit lessons anymore. i won't be able to do silly corny stuff and laugh my head off with chel in class anymore. boon chel and i can't even be nuisance in class anymore. the slackers can't go out together during our birthdays anymore [i guess it's hard]. i won't be able to go Quickly with sin they all anymore. i won't be able to go to trainings, talking and playing with szuyu jess kai virn yuying and others anymore! oh god. the truth hurts.

to people out there who really touched my heart in one way or another, i love you all! -hugs tight- no matter how far we are apart, you'll have this special place in my heart. :)

relinquished control at 10:49 a.m.

Thursday, November 28, 2002

it's my grad today!! ahh, i'm gonna be late. i'll be back tm :)

relinquished control at 09:20 a.m.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

haa, i'm feeling really elated now!! -grins from ear to ear- it's just all these lil things here and there that contribute to my happiness. :))) anyways, today's rehearsal was really boring. sneaked out with szuyu and went town to get her stuff. hahas, gave loads of advice [i hope they're not lousy] and she bought shoes, necklace and whatever we need fer grad. whoa, she bought 3 pairs of earrings! silly earrings freak. anyways, we bought pretty silvery tattoos! :) we walked till our legs ached so much i just plonked and slept on the 132 bus. yes, i still hafta go school tm to show my gown to the teachers -rolls eyes- because mrs sng [and the only teacher] refuses to give us our testimonial and report book unless we show our gowns to them. :/ there goes my sleep again. lots and lots of people i saw today rebonded and streaked their hair. whoa! i will like to streak my hair but due to financial difficulties, i guess i just hafta wait after os. yes, i think i gonna get a job soon!

pris recommended this place at peninsula plaza [i kept saying malaysia] and commented that the woman's really friendly and nice hahas. tm is jess' and my "vainity day" and i think we gonna bum around in the morning and head there later on. hahas, though we're just a lil scared of pain. -hides- i really can't believe grad is coming, after a long wait, and it gonna be over in a few hours. unfortunately, i have yet to finish my presents! damnit. :/

going out to all those i love :)
// as i walk into my bedroom i see pictures
on my wall, a collection of memories
the county fair, a movie there
some we don't remember where
they won't let me forget the time we shared
you know i'm always thinking of you
no matter what the time, the day, or place
coz you were my friend when there was no others
and all of my love for you can never be erased

no i never had a friend like you
and i hope we stay together
and somehow we're gonna make it through
and you'll be my friend forever
no matter how far away
you will always have a special place
coz i never had a friend like you
no i never had a friend like you

it feels good to know you're only a call away
i reminise about the times when we would play
at the bus stop, at the park
to the mall, after dark
and we knew we shouldn't be out that late, yeah baby
everybody has that special someone
a friend like you
and for me that someone was you
for every storm that has a prosteus
you never left my side and always kept it true
i ain't never had a friend like you //

relinquished control at 11:14 p.m.

Monday, November 25, 2002

eeks, a really boring day today. went to my grandmother's house and did nothing but.. rot?? :/ i've spent around 8 hours there and i feel like it's been a really long day. tm and wednesday gonna be reeaally long days. and stupid jessica never take neoprint with me last yr, i can't carry out my plan smoothly!!! urghs. :/ i am so in a dilemma.

i'm so sleepy and i gotta wake up at 7 tm. eeks!!

relinquished control at 09:49 p.m.

Sunday, November 24, 2002

i suddenly feel that i've lost the ability to write in my journal. mmmms. anyways, went to get my shoes and contacts today. i'm so ...-ahhh!!- now coz chel said she saw my dream kind of shoes! eeeks, my heart breaks. wells, as grad day is nearer, my excitement seems to fade away. everybody spent so much on it and it gonna be over in a few hours?! :/ wells, though it's one in a lifetime. i hope they won't make the atmosphere so.. sadddening or i'll just cry. :)

watched armageddon again. haha some parts are still pretty heart-breaking to me though it's my third time watching already. i'm suddenly getting very sickkk of my life now. :/

it seems pretty easy to hurt someone. the wound will heal but the scar remains.

// time can never mend
the careless whispers of a good friend
to the heart and mind
ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find //

relinquished control at 11:58 p.m.

Saturday, November 23, 2002

whoa! really been going out every single day. anyways, went out with sinhui today to get more stuff and met lotsa sec 4s. my legs are aching aching aching! :( i'll be done with my grad stuff by tm i guess. will be shopping with szu fer her stuff on tues, and probably some hair thingie. wells, and vainity day with jess on wednesday! hahas. i gave up trying to find fer my dream shoes already. :/ saw manymany really nice pictures of becks. example: the one near the big screen. though.. though i can never afford it.

my sis is watching singing in the rain! ahhhh! i've gotta leaflet and it looks really good! they used.. i forgot how many tonnes of water they use fer every performance. but hmmms, it's a pretty beeg amount!

okays, i'm off to.. "work"

relinquished control at 08:53 p.m.

Friday, November 22, 2002

4000th visitor, 40th visitor of the day! cool.

by the way, i'm pretty much alright now. yups, i cheered myself up. i had to, so that it doesnt pose any advantage to anything. nahs, i no longer turn to anybody, or is there even anybody? oh no no, you just add to their burden. guess it doesnt make much sense so never mind. got my necklace today! woo hoo, though totally unexpected. gonna buy stuff again tm, what a really busy and hectic week. talked to szu surprisingly long on the phone, and i'm all tired and feeling weird to type too much. i hate wasting my parents' money.. on things like grad?? sucks. no i'm not rich like you.

when you lie to your friend, you can never gain back the trust again.

was reading beanie's entry in my guestbook and gosh, my heart was really aching with nostalgia. i really missed the days we had in primary school, just doing silly and embarrassing stuff. -hides- whenever i watch the i dun wanna miss a thing mtv, i immediately think of the day when i watched armageddon with bean, tanakorn, ali and vongsy in p6. gosh, it's been really nice. soon, we'll be recollecting about our events in st nicks. weirdly, as i kept saying, i'm the only one feeling sad over having to split up! yes, szuyu, you're so cold blooded. i don't exactly look forward to grad, but yet i'm looking forward to it. i am just spouting utter rubbish. :/

relinquished control at 11:37 p.m.

Friday, November 22, 2002

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have; I've been protested and demonstrated against
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times
Sick as the mind of the motherfuckin kid that's behind
all this commotion emotions run deep as ocean's explodin
Tempers flarin from parents just blow 'em off and keep goin
Not takin nothin from no one give 'em hell long as I'm breathin
Keep kickin ass in the mornin and takin names in the evenin
Leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth
See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out
Look at me now; I bet ya probably sick of me now ain't you momma?
I'ma make you look so ridiculous now

[Chorus: Eminem]
I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)
I said I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet

[Eminem]
Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet
and I don't know if no one knows it
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it
I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '73
before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin CD
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch
cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye
No I don't on second thought I just fuckin wished he would die
I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leavin her side
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake
I maybe made some mistakes
but I'm only human, but I'm man enough to face them today
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun
Cuz I'da killed him; shit I woulda shot Kim and them both
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin
But put yourself in my position; just try to envision
witnessin your momma poppin prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitchin that someone's always goin throuh her purse and shit's missin
Goin through public housin systems, victim of Munchausen's Syndrome
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach
doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me Ma?
So you could try to justify the way you treated me Ma?
But guess what? You're gettin older now and it's cold when your lonely
And Nathan's growin up so quick he's gonna know that your phony
And Hailie's gettin so big now; you should see her, she's beautiful
But you'll never see her - she won't even be at your funeral!
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong
Bitch do your song - keep tellin yourself that you was a mom!
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get
You selfish bitch; I hope you fuckin burn in hell for this shit
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well guess what, I +AM+ dead - dead to you as can be!

relinquished control at 01:50 a.m.