secrecy*
You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.
Find out your color at Stvlive.com!
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What Pattern Are You?
this is nice :)
Sunday, March 31, 2002
weee, finally finished doing my new guestbook layout. n signing everybody's gbook telling them the new url. gbook is closing down..tm..spent such a long time doing the layout. coz i wan the kind of box at gbook but signmyguestbook dun haf. =( practically did everything at frontpage b4 copying it over. hais. still prefer gbook. at least they provide private entries. den, all the entries i had treasured since a long time ago.... i think 444 entries, will vanished overnite! how sad... =( anyways the new one is at pingdust.signmyguestbook.com.
ok i havent studied my lit test. =( feel like failing it. morever i am the only one taking it. so sickening... while everybody could happily go out or go home. eeks.
i lost complete trust
my patience was really tested to the limit. oh forget it la, i'm always angry one remember? you always never see that you hurt people very easily.
i just realised its not worth doing anything for friends at all. they don't appreciate it anyways. i feel like a big fat fool.
very pissed
i never ever got so pissed b4. probably never got so hurt by a friend before. like if you dun wanna listen to me, den dun use me as a listening tool. i'm not just someone u find to confide in den you just try to enjoy urself when i'm trying to tell u about my problem. den go trying to avoid what i say and continue living your own world, laffing away. what da fuck. like whats the point of being so nice to you when u just push me aside so easily. i feel like a stupid fool for always trying my best to listen to you, giving you advice and cheering u up. like whats the fucking use. maybe u'll just go hai she's angry again rite? but u dun seem to care or try to change. how will u feel if u are trying to find some comfort and people just chooses to ignore you? it hurts okay. u hear me? IT HURTS.
Saturday, March 30, 2002
went to watch a walk to remember wif virn and yeeon today. it was quite a sweet and touching show. me didnt cry, though boon said she cried till her whole face was red. haha. da guy was really super sweet to da girl, in a way, which touches me a lot. i love the quote "love is like the wind. you cant see it, but you feel it".
simin was right. nowadays, friends come in package. like i wun expect only one person. like today. the extreme example will be szuyu. if i ask her out, the whole badminton team might turn up. haha. didnt understand why. maybe i'll never. suddenly, i miss da times me boon chel han jiaxi sandy sin min will go quickly and play cards, den laffing like crazy poks. even a few days before exam. haha. hais =( hate missing sweet memories.
i am really slacking after being absent fer so long. morever jingfang said now is about the right time to start working hard. i nearly faint afetr hearing that. never even bring home da julius caesar book, how to retest? too many maths homework i owed that i don't know where to start from. couldnt touch anything on friday and today...erms... coz enjoying myself. yea very stressed here.
i couldnt believe i had this period of time just locking myself up, listening to sad songs and feeling very morbid. den i go to school thinking of shitty stuff and cry. couldnt believe da way my life was changed, n reduced to such a state i couldnt recognise anymore. and you didnt know. i'm healing now. trying hard. but you didnt hafta act the way you do. it gets on my nerves. sometimes i just feel like killing you.
chel's hatchday
happy birthday to da Really Cute (or crappy) When Yawning girl, Rachel Chow Wei Yin! here's your fave face (",)
yah guess why i had to do the stuff on the left again. yea, emote's crashing. =/ i gif up. anyways today was a stoning day. didnt go swimming so perhaps couldnt really enjoy myself. =/ n we cancelled our mahjong session coz of jessica. stupid. last minute again. i was real sad n disappoined. =( gonna watch a walk to remember tm. hope everything goes out well. hmms.. guess why. =/ anyways was telling simin that i dun write paper journal, for fear that i may depress myself while reading it next time. it is quite hard to just keep sweet memories. and i dun write online journal to let people invade my privacy, but to just vent out my anger and frustrations so that i can feel better. that it's just a listening tool. since some pple take me fer one sometimes.
cry
I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended too soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed
In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
The moment that I saw you cry
It was late in september
And I've seen you before (and you were)
You were always the cold one
But i was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring at a dark gray sky
I was changed
In places no one would findAll your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
I wanted to hold you
i wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right
Thursday, March 28, 2002
yay how great. todae's last school dae of da week! rachel's been real lame n childish today. she threw my water bottle on da floor so that i wun geddit, next thing she picked it up and put it on da teacher's table. so i was very unable to drink water during maths lesson. *erm* n haha, managed to get han n jiel on my side. poor her, kept trying to talk to me n catch my attention. haaa~ er, i was pretty disgusted and speechless upon the discovery of the funny bear in my bag. she was trying to make the most outta her childhood life. she'll turn sweet sixteen on saturday you see.. n i guess i will always use the grabbing-knees scene to amuse myself whenever i'm down. hahahahaha~ ok *cracks myself up* next exciting thing will be tml! yeah, going wu jiao lian's condo clubhouse n celebrate chel bdae. i was really on cloud nine when i was told that saturday had no training. gonna plae mahjong at my house wif virn n jess, plus 13 ghosts at jess' house! wheeepeeee~ lovely weekend. oh, perhaps i shouldnt be thinking about the LOADS of homework i owe. 5 days absence from school certainly has a bad side. i thought i could escape from lit test, uh-uh. gonna take it on monday. =/ anyways, life feeels good! :)
if i could, then i would
i'm going wherever you will go
if i was da one in your life
if you would allow me to
if i could turn back time
if i could make you mine
i'm going wherever you will go
Tuesday, March 26, 2002
i'm back. oh yes i'm back! after one week and three days of sickness, of slacking and sleeping away at home. and absent from school fer 5 long days. yea, was so super devastated to check that my guestbook only had 6 new entries! boo. anyways, had fever, flu and gastric problems. spent so much money on doctors. feel so guilty =( couldnt believe how time passed at home. well, at least i caught part of Oscar's. sean penn should haf won. =/ yes, haf a lot of homework to catch up. but i guess da teachers are too busy to deal wif my very-overdue work, so, i decided to give up on them. rachel's hatchdae's coming! it was too much of a coincidence that her uncle's condo is the same place as coach wu's house. the clubhouse, swimming pool and tennis courts are great. looking forward to friday!