Friday, September 5, 2003

LAST SCHOOL DAY OF TERM 3. After a series of bad events like physics lecture, econs test and GP essay, charlene and i rushed down to PS to meet alan and we watched A Tale of Two Sisters. To people like boonie and sinhui, DONT EVER WATCH IT! Haha. The show was alright, i didn't freak out much but i really hate that first ghost that appeared with a weird disturbing pose and traumatising face. Come to think of it, i think it's the sisters' mother. Oops. The director really has a way of building immense suspense and creating spine-chilling scenes! Anyways, charlene kept saying shit it beside me, as well as complain about hand ache from covering her face like every other second. Funny girl! There was a series of twist in the plot and many times towards the second half of the show, we were all confused and inquisitive about the story. The script ended with a grey sad tone that made the film seems more like a tragedy than just a typical horror flick to me. I think the $7.50 is worth it! (albeit we had to sit at the end of the FRONT row) It's really pretty cool how all the minute details and short scenes have certain significance and how the truth is slowly unveiled. The more i uncover the confusion over some scenes, the more i like the show. Hehe!

I decided that guys really cannot tag alone girls while shopping. Hmms, for some at least. ;) Char and i were barely halfway through our shop for earrings and he couldnt take it already! Hehe. He left while char and i headed to wisma area for more window shopping. Yay, we bought a pair of really pretty earrings and hairband! Green for her, purple for me and pink for shan. And an additional rubber band with shades of purple for meee! x) Saw this pair of cool adidas shoes that really goes well with char's hairband, bag, wallet and most importantly, the hwachong uniform! Whoa, i really hope she buys it! ;)

A happy day! :D

stardust brushed dreams at 10:58 p.m.

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

i can really melt when i hear daniel bedingfield's never gonna leave your side! As i listen to here without you today while attempting to mug for chem test tm, i told myself the tears wouldnt fall. And they didnt.

Last tuesday i told myself it would be the last time i'll ever try to find or talk to you. Today i said the same thing to myself too. And i was proven right. Do understand. I treat you as my good friend, (though i don't think it's mutual anymore), that's why i free you to your own paradise. You're happier.

Sang a lot of songs with lilian today. I wish i can download them all, but the kazaa thingy is putting me off. Bleahs.

Yay, it's thai noodles house tomorrow and tale of the two sisters on friday! Char and i are trying to prove that we'll fare better than the senior guys (hehehe) but i'm afraid we'll run out of the cinema halfway! :/

Here's a personality test i took from Pris. Quite true, but i'm not so vain!
Type Percent
Vigilant 21%
Solitary 14%
Idiosyncratic 22%
Adventurous 57%
Mercurial 56%
Dramatic 75%
Self - Confident 33%
Sensitive 71%
Devoted 65%
Concientous 22%
Leisurely 28%
Aggressive 13%
Self - Sacrificing 69%

Feelings: Dramatic men and women live in an emotional world. They are sensation oriented, emotionally demonstrative, and physically affectionate. They react emotionally to events and can shift quickly form mood to mood.
Color: They experience life vividly and expansively. They have rich imaginations, they tell entertaining stories, and they are drown to romance and melodrama.
Spontaneity: Dramatic individuals are lively and fun. Their joie de vivre leads them to act on impulse to take advantage of the moment.
Applause: Compliments and praise are like food and water to persons with Dramatic style: they need them to go on.
Appearance: They pay a lot of attention to grooming, and they enjoy clothes, style, and fashion.
Sexual attraction: In appearance and behavior, Dramatic individuals enjoy their sexuality. They are seductive, engaging, charming tempters and temptresses.

stardust brushed dreams at 08:55 p.m.

Tuesday, September 2, 2003

Have you ever woke up in the wee hours where everybody's sleeping, where your mind is the clearest, when you realise you really miss someone?

I have.

Oooh, check out the time. I woke up feeling utter disgust for myself as i have done nothing much during this long weekend. I do not want to retain, nor do i want to drop any subjects, but it seems as though i'm just whining and not putting my words into action. Sighs.

Oh wells, i went sentosa AGAIN! No fear, i did bring my sun block lotion and i definitely did not want to miss out the times with my slackers! Wheee, we just went around taking TONNES of photos like nobody's business, that we agreed once we got home, our face would be void of expressions, due to too much strain while smiling so much. Nevertheless, it was a good day to put memories into photographs. I love the polaroid photos! Too bad rachel went off when we took really nice ones at the mrt and sha wasnt there. We were also real meanies yesterday, making people take loads of photos yesterday. Special thanks to that st nicks netballer and that indian girl at the mrt! :D Oh wells, i love the girls Boon chel lyd pris sha simin!

And now, it's time to start planning for my post promos activities. :) I have already decided to learn guitar (by myself er hem, i'll try), probably work and there's the annual snbt chalet to look forward to! Provided that i can do well enough to keep four subjects, of course.

stardust brushed dreams at 05:07 a.m.

Sunday, August 31, 2003

I am such a living paradox. In such times when i should be accepting certain facts, i am, instead, trying to defend someone i haven't known long enough. But oh wells, thinkings change, feelings you perceive so strongly fade, sometimes you just want to stand up for something you believed in so strongly, that when it seems to have lost its value, you just refused to accept the truth. My, i can never understand complexities of the human heart. Just in a matter of a few hours, i've come face to face with the inner worlds of two people, who in turn, inch towards my personal life too. He likes her who likes him who likes her who likes him too. Sighs, i wish i can make things right. I can only agree that love is not possession, though cliche but true.

Whatever it is, i have to thank siong qun and meilin for this amusing special night/early morning. Feels like the big stone that has been weighing me down is getting lighter, almost negligible. And this heavy sudden rain is somehow apt. It probably signifies the end which marks a beginning. A new fresh start that probably takes time. Or just simply a rain for me to enjoy and lull me to sleep. You know, i've always loved the tranquility and coolness rainy nights bring. At this instant, i wish i can run out and dance in the rain. To feel the drops against my skin and savour the sweetness. I know i'll have a sweet dream tonight. :)

stardust brushed dreams at 01:00 a.m.

Saturday, August 30, 2003

I feel like a song without the words
A man without a soul
A bird without its wings
A heart without a home
I feel like a knight without a sword
The sky without the sun
cos you are the one

I feel like a ship beneath the waves
A child that lost its way
A door without a key
A face without a name
I feel like a breath without the air
And every day's the same
since you've gone away

I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are no words that could describe how I miss you
and I miss you everyday yeah

and I'm never gonna leave your side
and I'm never gonna leave your side again
still holding on girl
I won't let you go
cos when I'm lying in your arms
I know I'm home
Daniel Bedingfield - Never Gonna Leave Your Side

stardust brushed dreams at 11:00 p.m.

Friday, August 29, 2003

During the teacher's day celebration today, i almost melted hearing the songs Growing Old With You and When You Say Nothing At All sung by this guy who possesses one of the nicest voice i ever heard. Whoa!

Boon, chel and i all hugged, screamed and talked on top of our voices upon seeing each other, all hyped up and excited. That's like so... US. We ate our usual dish - orange bowl which tasted as good as ever. It felt so good to be home. St nicks, I feel, always has a place for me which is something hwachong can never replace. It's so easy to find a friend here to talk to and catch up with. I think i'm getting more and more introverted. :/ Oh wells, took many many photos! The faithians went to the dance studio and we had a major photo-taking session there. Then, the slackers set off to town to eat AGAIN. Walked around till i felt my legs could give way any moment but anyways, it felt good to be myself again. Boon, min and i bought the raspberry lip balm from the bodyshop which smelled yummy! :) It was a good day definitely. It was today then i realise i miss jiaxii (esp her lameness) the slackers (boon chel lyd min pris sha) mich sin sa virn a lot a lot!

The changes jc can make. I knew she was a sweet shy lil thing in st nicks (though i never knew her existence till quite long later) but as she entered jc, i saw the transformation. Into someone i couldnt connect the sweet image with anymore. Maybe this is life. Just that i am bad at accepting changes. I hate changes. I think we are growing up way too fast. I wish i can stay at this age and enjoy myself before the seriousness of some aspects of life starts to sink in. It is hard to believe that one year later, i can never look forward to eating in the canteen with my classmates, sit together and listen to lessons, rush to training after school or walk around town leisurely after school anymore. It's the little dull, mundane activities we do that actually add colours of nostalgia to our memories.

And yesterday marked the last day of the J2s. I think i'm gonna miss the senior class pretty much! I still remember the seemingly intimidating word "seniors" as it first came to my mind, till we first got in contact with the seniors from 02S69. The seniors meet juniors session was somehow unforgettable. I remember this funny guy with funny slippers singing guan huai fang shi in his funny voice, this hyper squeaky girl who went around offering food and this guy with corny voice whom i first spoke to and "unluckily" became his angel. -evil grin- Then friendships began to blossom. I remember how much sinhui and i were cracked up by our dear rachel who seems to know half of my team already. Or the funny online conversations i had with them. The campfire stayover, STJ, JTS, valentine's day have unknowingly formed memories that seem fresh and new still. And of course, i have the best angel (waikit!) and mortal (vernon!) ever! :) I appreciate them so much i even offered to polka-dot their names on the class bench table. Hehe. All the best to their studies and may they possess the strength and luck to stand through the prelims and As! :)

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separated
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me
3 Doors Down - Here Without You

If these music i hear are like subtle poison that kills me every time, i have already been dead a thousand times.

stardust brushed dreams at 08:53 p.m.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Royston Tan came to our school today. I still can't believe he asked chel and sam to preview and comment on his film before! After having watched his vulgarities-littered yet moving film Fifteen, i was wondering what his other four short films would evoke this time. I could say i was truly amazed and impressed by his style of filming, the objects he used to symbolize certain significance and how the films could bring the emotions across so smoothly. The film Mother even evoked some tears in me, as it seems to pierce right through my heart. His films have a sense of poignance, a tinge of grey. He explained that there is no definite black or white in this world, like a defined good ol` Superman or perhaps, a guy who is rotten to the core. How true. The narrative nature of the films seemed to be speaking to my mind, letting this mild sorrow and guilt sieve through. Cool. Both the film maker and the films he made.

Was happy today. This is the first test i've ever sat for in hwachong that i am confident of passing. I'm changing! :) Bought miss tey this bimbotic pink furry cushion today i almost wanted to keep it for myself! ;)

I see Mrs Merriweather relived in another form. Don't ramble on about righteousness and then criticise people you have not the slightest inkling how they are like when you're blind to your own prejudice. Have you ever tried throwing aside your tinted glasses and take a good look at how the world revolves and do not stop for you?

A little annoyed. And a little amused as well.

HAHAHA! Alrite i can't believe i actually went down to the 4th floor roof garden with my sister just to take a look at Mars. Cool, i live on the 13th storey and a large portion of the supposedly paranomic view is blocked by the neighbouring flat, when i could even see St Nicks at my old house. Grrr. Anyways, ahh you're right. Mars is lovely tonight. I am interested in astronomy ever since i'm in primary school? :) My favorite planet is Saturn! Ok, that's like totally out of point. :/

stardust brushed dreams at 09:26 p.m.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Just read boonie's blog which made me realise how comforting it can be by realising someone you miss is missing you too. After reading her blog and meilin's last sms, suddenly, tides of joy wash over me, telling me everything's alright. My life is back! I know i've overcome this rocky phase that had cut me several times. Thank God so much for blessing me with great friends who never failed to pick me up, listen to my rantings and make my life worthwhile. They say you'll never cherish something till it's gone. And i am making sure i will hold on dearly to my angels, try my best to never let them fall and let them know that i love them. May God bless my loves boonie chel meilin sinhui szuyu jess and more.

A friend is someone who holds a part of your life, your heart, your soul. She listens to not just what you say, but also what you don't say.

I did CIP at Yonex Sunrise - Singapore Open today. My job was to stand inside the VIP lounge, watch the matches and wait for the guests to take their leave before eating the smashin' good food there. Yes, VIPs have such splendid lives i tell you. I almost felt sinful for every mouth-watering bite i took. I saw so many ministers, MPs and ambassadors from several countries. The Danish ambassador's wife is so pretty! Anyways, i didnt mean to slack but i was allocated to the lounge where i just had to stand around and look helpful. (I swear i felt guilty for not doing anything much except a few errands!) In the meanwhile, meilin had a new found friend whom she seemed quite close with. Muahahaha! :D

In a matter of hours, i was exposed to a variety of terrific world-class standard badminton skills. Their strength, strategy, stamina and definitely speed were fantastic! The only sad part was i didn't get to see Peter Gade! Anyways, we all had to wear this nice black tee with a shuttlecock on it (i finally have a shirt featuring badminton!) and our souvenirs were this yellow smiley face ball-yoyo-whatever thingy, an auntie-looking burberry-pattern handbag and an envelope with photos of chen hong, ronald susilo, camilla martin and a-guy-who-looks-so-darn-familiar.

All in all, i not only got to see star players performing, i gained an insight of how big events work. The hurry scurry of the "backstage" crew, the walkie-talkies, allocation of the crew to fit the finest details and preparations of the entire area just to make an event run in a matter of hours. I guess the immense sense of achievement and pride as felt from the success of the event is priceless. Maybe that's the reason why event planning always strikes an interest in me. But i still can't find the relation between event planning and maths chem physics econs. :/

stardust brushed dreams at 10:42 p.m.

stardust brushed dreams at

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Today, or rather, yesterday was such a rushing day. I had to rush through my supper- a bowl of yummy minced meat noodles with extra chilli so that we would not need to pay the midnight surcharge. Rushed through my shower after training and again, rushed to coro to get some sushi in case hunger strikes during the ge yao competition. Anyways, the contestants were really not bad! I love sok and yy's harmonising parts! Couldnt help giggling with meilin when we saw jianyang on the stage. Yes, our dear badminton captain with the rosy cheeks! :D The local singer Lin junjie came and meilin cracked me upside down trying to wave to him and gain his attention. Like hello?! Hahaha.

There were three sad souls tonight. In the same old boat, feeling the same kind of helplessness. Ahhhhs, let's all cast these unwanted aside and turn the sorrow into strength! We've got one another, and that's what matters the most. -hugs-

Okays. I've been awake for nineteen hours already. I need a good sleep!

stardust brushed dreams at 12:37 a.m.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

My last two entries have vanished from this wired world i do not know why! Or how!

Oh wells. It seems increasingly difficult to understand oneself in a life with its pace too fast for one to catch up. Sometimes, i can't even understand why certain emotions and thoughts arise, arousing a sense of loss in me. I always thought it's important to sort out conflicting thoughts, one by one. But it's even more important that one decode such confusion in a clear state of mind. The more emotional you are, the messier it gets. Perhaps if i were to focus on the good side and not think of the bad side, it would have been too self-deceiving. But on the other hand, if i were to focus on the bad side, i would just be plunging further. So i'll just remain a happy girl hoping to make people around me happy. Yes. :)

I deem today as a happy day, albeit not perfect. I was a little upset today, just slightly, which vanished in a matter of a few minutes. One have no idea how much words can affect others' thoughts and feelings. You can hurl hurting words at one person and erase it immediately from the depths of your mind but the very words can have lasting effect on that person. True, you don't mean it, but unknowingly, inevitably, you cause harm to someone. No, i wasnt the one being criticised but i felt sorry for that person. As cliched as it sounds to people who read TKAMB, you'll never understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." How often have we put people's feelings into consideration before ours? Rarely. Maybe it's time to start.

On to something lighter, I had fun playing squash! Waikit's such a scheming person, always trying to make people run! :/ Bish. Oh wells, doubles are certainly more exciting! :) I remember us screaming somehow, hmmms, or was it just me. :/

Oh yes, watched Homerun yesterday and it was definitely a very moving and meaningful local show! The themes of the film were presented aptly, of sibling bonds, genuine friendship and of course, of how much we should appreciate our present life. I am going to cherish every single pair of footwear i have.

Thanks boonsie sweetie for the messages on Tuesday night. It comforted and cheered me up tonnes! Can't wait to see you bimbos at my school's MAF celebration! :D (but what's with the sundresses?!)

The silence of midnight, to speak truly,
though apparently a paradox, rung in my ears.
The language of the stars as
i would loved to listen to,
was buried beneath the velvet soft.
The raindrops fell on my feet,
taste lingering on my tongue.
My dreams were beautiful,
like as familiar melodies were sung.
In them it was you,
And you knew it too.

stardust brushed dreams at 10:27 p.m.