Tuesday, June 10, 2003
today was yet another nearly futile trip out. things just doesnt seem to go the way i want them to be huh? wells, that was exactly what i just put in szuyu's guestbook. anyways, i planned to at least finish my physics tutorials with meilin today and then have a karaoke session with yanchoo later. another failed attempt i suppose. we headed towards cuppage only to find out that the rooms were fully occupied and we had to book the 6 pm one. oh wells, we walked around and ate (ham and mushroom baked rice!) before finally going back to cuppage. i finally caught a full glimpse of my sis' workplace (some jap lounge)! i discover that yanchoo and i especially like sad songs hehs. and so, 3 silly girls sang out their hearts with waiters occasionally peeping in through that little space in the window till 9 pm, before giving in to the cruel hands of time. sigh. guess i really gotta occupy myself to prevent myself from sinking deeper into goodness-knows-where.
on a lighter tune, my days are getting happier. Thank God! :)
fabricated tales ramble on at 10:42 p.m.
fabricated tales ramble on at
Monday, June 9, 2003
so much for using what's left of my mood today and taking the risk, just to cast disappointment upon myself.
and she plunged into a mist of pink and purple, of tulips and petals. the ethereal beauty of the realm attracted her, yet it eludes her. she longed to break free, she struggled so hard, but she sank in further. the distance is not far, yet it might as well be the span of a galaxy. the familiar sounds cry incessantly in her head, the same emotions weigh heavy on her heart. the pain is some sort excruciating, yet absent in her dreams.
fabricated tales ramble on at 11:51 p.m.
Sunday, June 8, 2003
i waited for days, for my computer to arrive from repair and hopefully, function faster than normal. it did, today, but it isnt the same anymore. when one's mood isnt good, everything just doesnt seem right. bleahs. watched Flubber for the second time today and for the second time, as i announce with a tinge of embarrassment, i nearly cried! this must have sounded really hilarious but i just couldnt help it when Weebo died. :/ realised just like last year, my com's sent for repair on my birthday, so i could never thank all the people properly online. luckily, i kind of wrote down all the happenings worth remembering that happened recently. oh wells, wanted to put it down here but guess i'm just not in the right mood. oh no.
thanks HAN my ah bu for telling me the title of the song Should i Stay by Dreamz Fm, a song i've been wanting to find out since ages ago. kept hearing it on radio, tv, shops but i seem to have no luck with this song. the whole song's so sad i feel like crying! :/
had a drive driven by your love
but when you messed around
I lost the drive I found
thought you needed, needed someone true
but you changed your mind or had i failed you?
wished you've been careful with my heart
but you tore it apart and broke an angel's heart
i guess what's true has an end somehow
but i am living proof of what love is about
it's hard holding you loving you losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know I gotta know
should i stay or should i go
you played me on, played me like a clown
but i feel for you, even though i'm down
my heart is heavy, heavy like a rock
but i am so amused you're still in my thoughts
it's hard holding you loving you losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know I wanna know
should i stay or should i go
what's done is done i'll never feel the same
but we had some good times, guess it's sad just the same
i guess the truth doesn't matter somehow
but you were living proof, of what love is about
fabricated tales ramble on at 11:51 p.m.
Saturday, May 24, 2003
my friend and i blended into the crowd at the waterfront tonight. the velvet sky sang along with the singer, their magical voices harmonise so well together they gave the place a romantic touch. the music reached the depths of our hearts, and our hearts sang along. i let all the mixed emotions that arise vanish into the night breeze, completely immersed in the old love song that can make one smile or cry.
Moon river, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style, some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way.
Two drifters, off to see the world,
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end,
Waitin' 'round the bend,
My huckleberry friend,
Moon river, and me
fabricated tales ramble on at 12:59 a.m.
Friday, May 23, 2003
i'm taking pleasure in staying at home doing nothing at all. decided to skip school today, away from Friday's horrendous timetable. woke up this morning comtemplating whether i should go school for 10 minutes. at the end of the 10 minutes, i knew i would be late if i go school. so there :D besides, my mum was pretty fine with me not going school. most importantly, i would have to crawl through the tonnes and tonnes of tutorials and rush back home to attend the band concert at VCH. i would have been too sleepy and tired. Haha, this is so self-convincing.
ate 8 scoops of ice-cream at the Swensens ice-cream buffet with classmates yesterday. wow.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now.
And all I can taste in this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.
fabricated tales ramble on at 01:35 p.m.
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Uploaded hc badminton photos! here you go :)
fabricated tales ramble on at 09:00 p.m.
Monday, May 19, 2003
i saw Heaven's piece of art today. streaks of orange and blue splash across the evening sky, forming a fantastic scene. meilin and i were making our way to coro after a refreshing shower and we both gasped at the beauty of the sunset. we frantically wanted to take a snapshot of the sight but sadly, there wasnt any camera around. Wow, i love sunsets, however short they may last.
and that makes me wonder, had i rather own something i pursue for a short while and let it go instead of not having it at all? would there be more pain in losing it or not having it at all? i always thought it would be the latter, till i read this somewhere. there's no greater grief than to find no happiness but happiness in what is past. how true?
fabricated tales ramble on at 10:43 p.m.
Sunday, May 18, 2003
i've just realised that once i sink into my bed, i can never wake up till the next day arrives, whatever time i sink into, for example an atrocious time of 7 pm. :/
had to wake up early for SAT yesterday and i skipped practically the whole of it to catch HC softball match. though the sun was scorching, i was burning, the match was exciting! too bad CSAB didnt play, hor sinhui? :D have i mentioned i wanted to join softball in jc ever since i was in sec 4? alas, the softball team here is too strong to accept a beginner like me, who knows nothing except bits and pieces of the rules. escaped from the sun's glare to meet szuyu and we caught Matrix Reloaded! there was a large part of the plot that i failed to comprehend but nevertheless, the fighting scenes were pretty cool and Keanu Reeves is still a hunk! [no matter what szuyu said] for the first part of the day, she refused to study so we roamed around town as usual, ate walked ate walked. for the 2nd half of the day, i was too tired to study, so again we ate and walked and ate and walked. i love the Mogu cushions! i didn't quite like the human-shaped ones though, they remind me too much of those eerie voodoo dolls. we visited places we seldom set our feet upon, like the furniture sections of those departmental stores. after the exposure to a wide range of lovely furniture, i could almost visualize my dream house! by the sea definitely, with a room specially for watching movies [we went to the room at the Sony shop and the audio visual effects were superb], with all the furniture and of course someone i love that will last for a lifetime. Yea, haha, Dream on. the dps Galleria place was really lovely, the interior designs were a some sort of exotic beauty. as we stepped in, we instantly gasped at the pretty roof thingy [whatever you call them]. sounds pretty much like country bumpkins huh? we took a walk inside the shop selling a wide range of tourist souvenirs. i still remember having a laughing fit when szuyu looked through the binoculars fitted on this softtoy-like lion's head eyes. just imagine a girl in this classic place, putting a silly looking lion head in front of her face and scanning around the whole area. Hahaha! :D
that pretty much sums up my Saturday of the week. if i have a wish, i'll wish szuyu doesnt have to migrate after the A levels. :( Sighs.
People spend too much time doing things they don't enjoy doing that they forgot to laugh. Others spend too much time thinking what others feel about them that they forgot to feel themselves.
i still love Gareth Gates' version of Unchained Melody the best. :) sorry to all Clay Aiken's fans! this lovely song still reminds me of the movie Ghost, which could make your tears flow. right, chel?
lonely rivers flow to the sea to the sea
to the open arms of the sea
lonely rivers sigh wait for me wait for me
i'll be coming home wait for me
oh my love, my darling
i've hungered for your touch
alone lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
i need your love
oh i need your love
God, speed your love to me
fabricated tales ramble on at 01:15 p.m.
Friday, May 16, 2003
it's scary the way guilt can haunt you. lilian got her hand cut because of my new pen knife today. i'm so sorry mum! hope i don't get killed by Zomeone hahahahaha. :D danger seems to be lurking around nowadays, causing many injury cases. to shan: hey girl! take good care of yourself! i hope this weekend marks the end of all the harm caused, of all unhappiness that surfaced as well as the beginning of a good week. i shall not fail any more tests [i try my best] and yes, i'll do some tutorials! good resolution for the week huh? :D with new stationery and new pencil box, i'm inspired! okays i've gone utterly insane.
i've finished reading The Power Book, a book i've bought at my school book fair. the book is filled with fairy tales, contemporary myths and popular culture, and most importantly, descriptions of love and how it's likened to death. some parts of the book are intriguing, some thinkings intricate but definitely a book that makes me think. but oh wells, i bought it for the beautiful writings! they certainly beautified the book :)
fabricated tales ramble on at 09:49 p.m.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
i looked at the sweet memories contained in my wallet, and i couldnt help but feel a tinge of emptiness. i miss the times we would discuss our after school activities, of the sales going on anywhere, of the good food we discover at a hidden spot of singapore. we would anticipate the bell to ring, after which we would rush to town, which is much further away from st nicks than hwachong. nowadays, it's hard to find someone who don't mind taking the trouble to go town just for lunch or walk around. it's even harder to find someone to talk. people get too busy lost in the crowd of other people, and there's this unspoken insecurity, i discover, hidden in them. friends suddenly come in packages. after being busy for so long, i feel like i lost touch with the world.
I like the way the morning can be stormy and the afternoon as clear and sparkling as a jewel in the water. Put your hand in the water to reach for a sea urchin or a seashell, and the thing desired never quite lies where you had lined it up to be. The same is true of love. In prospect or in contemplation, love is where it seems to be. Reach in to lift it out and your hand misses. The water is deeper than you had gauged, You reach further, your whole body straining, and then there is nothing for it but to slide in - deeper, much deeper than you had gauged - and still the thing eludes you.
fabricated tales ramble on at 09:13 a.m.
Sunday, May 11, 2003
there's this unspoken, unknown and unsafe feeling wafting its way through this passage. the secret desires and hidden secrets whisper inside their brains, yet i could only decipher some. then the fear starts to mount up inside, forming jagged impressions. it is perhaps paranoia on my part, or perhaps i am a better mind reader in these areas. sighs, i better go chase this bad thought away.
fabricated tales ramble on at 12:33 p.m.
Saturday, May 10, 2003
unbelievable and definitely amazing, the way we ended our short season in such a light hearted manner. thrashed serangoon 5-0 today, and i was a little shocked at some of their shuttlers. they left the third singles playing on the court, packed up and went home, leaving poor her who was still fighting hard against hsien fei. though i'm still a teeny weeny sore over being in the group of death and not being able to get into the finals, i was glad we ended the tournament this way. no hard feelings, no tears, no solemnity. on our way to lunch, the j1 girls all bought a pretty blue friendship band each, while ivy and i bought an extra pink one. twinnie! :) had team lunch at pizza hut at tampines mall and we had tonnes of food awaiting us! i could have eaten much more, if jilian hadnt cracked us upside down with her silly and hilarious antics, making me have a hard time overcoming my stomache and carry on with my food. the j1 girls gave the senior girls a tin of forever friends cookies each. hsien fei and meina touched the girls with a pillow each. on the pillows were our names written and decorated beautifully. they even gave the guys a towel each with their names on it! sweetttie girrrls. :D took several photographs at pizza hut, making the most of the common memories we would share several years down the road. it's pretty sad to realise that it's the j2s last year and they would probably not come for training anymore. i will, i promise, train hard with my fellow teammates and clinch more victories coming our way.
i hope this new layout is fine! took a liking to this picture so i thought i'll jolly well do something about it.
will upload the photos we took today into my online album soon!
fabricated tales ramble on at 04:36 p.m.