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280202
today, i was actually pissed at some people whom i thought they were one of the nicest friends i could ever had. yet they disappointed me somehow. today after recess, i was already trying to hold back my tears. nobody was really willing to listen to wot i sae. its always like that, whenever i am moody, they just think its typical of me to be like that and cant really be bothered. n nobody cared enuff to ask me why. when i got back my results, A1. wow. i wasnt feeling on top of the moon or something. the problem is, i cannot even find anybody to share my joy with. how saddening it is when ur frens just turn u away when u wanna share joy with them. i was so sad, i cried. i cried so hard, i was biting my lips to prevent myself from crying out loud. my lips even bled. everybody tot it was coz of my results, but i rather exchange grades for some real friends who care for you, who dun turn u away, who make effort to make u happy, who dun make u feel left out and will always be there for you. i felt so lonely n bitter in my own world, where nobody dares or cares to step into. they never knew that every lil thing they do are affecting my life so much. and i get upset often DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU CAN JUST LEAVE ME ASIDE AND KNOW I WILL BE OKAY AFTER A WHILE. step into my skin and walk around in it. feel all the lil things bottled up inside. n how you just hafta shed tears to let it all out. i never thought my life could be this lonely, and how so many rejections just pulled me down. maybe you dun feel this way, but perhaps u are too insensitve? i have feelings too you know. dun tok to me just becoz u're obliged to. i feel like a tool fer homework, or someone u can tok to coz u simply haf no one else to turn to. i am a human, i haf feelings okays? n seems like i always hafta do something to make it known. wadeva u may say, i'm one who cant live w/o someone there listening to you. n seems like i'm dying. if i die, i wonder if any will cry.
270202
weee. i can't believe this mans. my guestbook is way too empty! =| anyways, went to watch the mothman prophecy today wif szuyu. at the beginning, we were freaking out. in the end, realised the plot wasnt what i thought it was. overall, it's not bad larhs. gotta tell szuyu she's always buying food she couldnt finish. we were disgusted by the nachos which seemed less than the cheese!
my sis's in melbourne now. she gotta free trip from her friend. hais, so lucky. she gotta free tix to jay's concert too! n its like the 2nd row? =/ hehs. just hope she'll enjoy herself. =)
realised if people wanna treat me the way they do, like ignoring me, so be it! i shall not be upset anymore. i dun wanta gif a damn about you. den i can finally relieve myself of the pain i've been immersed in fer so long. way too long. that i cant feel myself anymore.
230202
weee. the personality test i took [on the right] is so true that i kept pondering over it. i never knew how to put down my character and feelings in words. i don't know why i craved to be understood so much. like sandy said, isnt it great if somebody knows how u feel. u'll not feel alone. but i realised people around me don't understand me. at all. i dun really wans to be remembered but i definitely wans to be appreciated fer all those i've done. maybe coz i'm so afraid they'll forget. and all these character traits are so extreme they are becoming my flaws. Blues feel uncomfortable doing things solely for themselves. i already knew what to put on jessica's bdae card [april] n bought boonie's present [may] already! goodness, its the end of feb now ping. *slaps*
220202
my form teacher sucks to the core. guess wot, she cut my belt. wtf. so pissed i could almost slap her. i'm such a lucky girl to get her fer 3 years. oh woww. and i'm even luckier to be disliked by her. *disgusted* =/
our assembly item's gonna be on julius caesar -i hope-. yay, so funny, then think we gonna add our rap. haha, bet we'll laff like mad. =) i mean, if that fattie bum gonna accept our script.
18 Feb 02
mrs evelyn tan sucks. yah, actually, this whole world sucks isnt it?
when one day you reach out your hand and couldnt feel me anymore, that's the time when you should tell yourself i'll never be there again.
17 Feb 02
usher's a cool dancer =)
When you feel it in your body
You found somebody who makes you change your ways
Like hanging with your crew
Said you act like you're ready
But you don't really know
And everything in your past - you wanna let it go
I've been there, done it, fucked around
After all that - this is what I found
Nobody wants to be alone
If you're touched by the words in this song
Then baby...
U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad
When you say that you love 'em
And you really know
Everything that used to matter, don't matter no more
Like my money, all my cars
(You can have it all back)
Flowers, cards and candy
(I do it just cause I'm...)
Said I'm fortunate to have you girl
I want you to know
I really adore you
All my people who know what's going on
Look at your mate, help me sing my song
tell her I'm your man, you're my girl
I'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world
Ladies say I'm your girl, you're my man
Promise to love you the best I can
See I've been there, done it, fucked around
After all that - this is what I found
Everyone of y'all are just like me
It's too bad that you can't see
That you got it bad...hey
think i've learnt to let go. untied the knot in my heart and set it free. =/ it's been real long.
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+ blue personality +
Blues Are Motivated By Altruism
Blues love to do nice things for others. They look for opportunities to give up something in order to bring another person happiness. Selflessness, rather than selfishness, is their guiding philosophy. Many Blues are uncomfortable doing things solely for themselves. They hold doors open for people, offer rides when someone's car breaks down, contribute to charities, even devote their entire lives to helping others.
Blues Seek Intimacy
More than anything else, Blues want to love and be loved. A true Blue will sacrifice a successful career to improve an important relationship. Once considered solely a female characteristic, this nurturing is more accurately understood as a Blue personality trait.
Blues Crave Being Understood
Blues are gratified when they are listened to, when they feel understood and appreciated. They are notorious for revealing their inadequacies, because they value being known and understood so much. In the eye of a Blue, being vulnerable is a small price to pay for the chance to connect emotionally. Blues may have their hearts broken more than most people, but they also spend much more time in love.
Blues Need To Be Remembered And Appreciated
With Blues, a simple pat on the back will not suffice. Blues expend such great effort in making the world a better place that sometimes they need to be told how wonderful they are. They need to be thanked and specifically remembered for their good deeds. They need sincere gratitude. They delight in being remembered on birthdays and other special days, especially if the rememberance is personal - a homemade anniversary card, a welcome home party, a special day that isn't on the calender. Blues need tender loving care.
Blues Are Directed By A Strong Moral Conscience
Blues are motivated to behave in a proper, appropriate manner. They have a moral code that guides them in their decision making, their value judgements, even their leisure time. Blues enjoy being "good." Of all the personality colors, Blues come equipped with the strongest sense of integrity. A Blue would rather lose that cheat. Blues are trustworthy. Ethically, Blues are the people who should be in positions of power, but seldom are.
take the test here!
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