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yijia archive

Monday, December 16, 2002


// mama please stop cryin'
i can't stand the sound
your pain is painful
and it's tearin' me down

i hear glasses breaking
as i sit up in my bed
i told dad you didn't mean
those nasty things you said
you fight about money
'bout me and my brother
and this i come home to
this is my shelter

it ain't easy, growin' up in World War 3
never knowin' what love could be
you'll see, i don't want love to destroy me
like it has done my family

can we work it out? (can we?)
can we be a family? (can we?)
i promise i'll be better (i promise)
mommy i'll do anything (i'll do anything)
can we work it out?
can we be a family?
i promise i'll be better
daddy please don't leave

daddy please stop yellin' (stop)
i can't stand the sound (i can't stand the sound)
make mama stop cryin'
'cause i need you around (yeh yeh yeh yeh)
my mama she loves you (i know)
no matter what she says it's true
i know that she hurts you
but remember i love you too

i ran away today, ran from the noise
ran away (ran away)
don't wanna go back to that place
but don't have no choice, no way

it ain't easy, growin' up in World War 3
never knowin' what love could be
but i've seen, i don't want love to destroy me
like it did my family

in our family portrait (in our family portrait)
we look pretty happy (we look pretty happy)
let's play pretend, let's act like it
comes naturally
i don't wanna have to split the holidays
i don't want two addresses
i don't want a stepbrother anyways
and I don't want my mom to have to change her last name

daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave
daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave
daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave
turn around please
daddy don't leave... Turn around please
remember the night you left
you took my shining star
daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave
daddy don't leave... dont leave us here alone

mom i'll be nicer
i'll be so much better
i'll tell my brother
i won't spill the milk at dinner
i'll be so much better
i'll do everything right
i'll be your little girl forever
i'll go to sleep at night //
Family Portrait by Pink

faded away at 08:59 a.m.

Saturday, December 14, 2002

ahhhhs my legs are aching now. did threading today and whoa! it's super super painful! wells, but it's really good though. :)

oh gosh think i gonna be on tv! hahahas -hides face- was outside raffles city when sa and i were approached by this neutrogena person who asked us to try their mask [the cloth kind]. it's free trial lah. i refused but gave in to sa hehs. we went up the bus and oh gosh! to our horror, we saw a camera shooting our way. was so super embarrassed, plus the people on the bus were obviously all over 20. er, yes guys were there too, one cute guy included. hahas. sat in the bus and had this hydration test where the lady tested for the dryness of our skin. mine's 42 and sa's 28. haha normal is 60 and above. mms, too dry! we were trying to avoid the camera man. after we took off the mask, we took the hydration test again and whoa! it's 99 this time. we were trying hard to hurry get out of the place hahas. i was rushing down the stairs and then oh dear, there i see the camera right in front of me! uhs. yes, i was caught going down the stairs. i am praying very hard that our parts will be er cut off? hahahas. how embarrassing! wells, the mask was really good though.

rights. that reminds me of the time me and szuyu were interviewed in amk central by the 93.3 fm deejay about singaporean singers and their future. hahas fortunately, we didnt see ourselves on tv.

kept eating today [as usual] and tried this furr coat at topshop for pure entertainment. hahahas we looked really beeg and funny in it. bought nail polish from sasa, hmms, my only purchase for the day. i'm tired!

faded away at 10:03 p.m.

Friday, December 13, 2002

hahahahahahas i'm laughing like mad in front of the computer coz of the ketchupy lyrics virn showed me! what ajoiji and boogie weegie! hahahas we are official ketchup song haters. those who love it, come get us! :D yay, in the process of dl-ing like i love you mtv. not that i love justin timberlake, but that i love his dance steps more. oh no! i sound familiar! brutus! hahas. damnit. -hops around in one leg- okays, i guess only virn understands this. :/ damnit man, i still can't find sorry seems to be the hardest word mtv. hmphs.

faded away at 06:31 p.m.

Friday, December 13, 2002

friday the 13th really sucks. i think. alrights oh wells who cares! hahas! love this advertisement on mtv channel [i think] starring ronaldo and some other sports people. it always cheers me up! :) it's sung by monty python. or python monty?! ohs whatever. it's corny to see ronaldo whistling along! :)

// some things in life are bad
they can really make you mad
other things just make you swear and curse
when you're chewing on life's gristle
don't grumble, give a whistle
and this'll help things turn out for the best...
and...

...always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)
always look on the light side of life...
(whistle)

if life seems jolly rotten
there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
when you're feeling in the dumps
don't be silly chumps
just purse your lips and whistle
that's the thing.

and...always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)
come on.
always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)

for life is quite absurd
and death's the final word
you must always face the curtain with a bow
forget about your sin
give the audience a grin
enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
so always look on the bright side of death
just before you draw your terminal breath
life's a piece of shit
when you look at it
life's a laugh and death's a joke
it's true
you'll see it's all a show
keep 'em laughing as you go
just remember that the last laugh is on you

and always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)
always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)

come on guys, cheer up.

always look on the bright side of life...
always look on the bright side of life...
worse things happen at sea you know.
always look on the bright side of life...

i mean - what have you got to lose?
you know, you come from nothing
you're going back to nothing.
what have you lost? Nothing.

always look on the bright side of life... //

faded away at 05:10 p.m.

Thursday, December 12, 2002

mans. my arms and legs are aching like mad. went to jess' house yesterday and had loadsa fun. firstly, we played cards by the swimming pool. the weather's really hot and ooh! we jumped into the pool and had some good old soaking. went up to her house to play monopoly while filling ourselves up with good old chips. hahas, den we went to play tennis. oh gosh, our tennis skills SUCK! we just kept playing the badminton way. hahas we've decided to stop after successfully attempting five shots and played badminton instead. den this arrogant funny little boy who was with his friends came over and asked to play with us. he asked jess to exchange racket with him for a while and den asked if his racket was slightly better. oh wells, he doesnt know he was holding our coach's racket lor! irritating! besides, he seemed to keep stressing that he's good. -slaps forehead- his other friends, namely a lil corny gurl, a lil corny boy, and a really cute caucasian boy came along and decided to play with us. :/ that arrogant boy seemed to read our minds [or our faces coz we kept looking at each other] and asked to stop the game. he kept apologizing for ruining our game. wells wells. jess, with the business mind, was actually thinking of whether we can coach them and earn money. hahas. :) we both felt so stuffy and hot we jumped into the pool again. i was too lazy and tired that i took cab home. hahas.

watched amazing race just now and oh man! i'm so sad drew and derek were eliminated. -looks at szuyu- boos. and that stupid flo was still as irritating as ever. i wonder why drew likes her. really.

faded away at 06:43 p.m.

Monday, December 9, 2002

yay i feel so satisfied now! found this webbie with loadsa ringing tones and i'm so glad my phone has composer! :) keyed in loadsa songs but some don't sound right, esp in the end. that's so sad huhs. anyways i have best in me, closer to me, follow me, hailie's song and dilemma! :) i'm trying to self entertain myself here since i can't go out [everybody's overseas] and i find no job. finally watched video music awards 2002 yesterday [i missed it twice] and whoa! haha the host's really damn funny. eminem's cool! -looks at sinhui- :D i'm still wondering whether i should watch the exorcist tm. wells, my senior told me some who watched it actually committed suicide. i think pris couldn't sleep for months? besides, miss jacob said it's real, except that it's a boy instead of a girl. that means at the end of the show, i can't even tell myself it's fake anyways. jess is not watching it, that means i gotta watch it alone man. i'm full of curiosity! :/

// tell me, just what you want me to be
one kiss and boom you’re the only one to me
so please tell me
why don’t you come around no more?
coz right now i’m
cryin outside the door of your candy store

it just takes a little bit of this, a little bit of that
it started with a kiss now we’re up to bat
a little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain
i’m telling you my babe it’s all in the game of love

is, whatever you make it to be
sunshine, set on this cold, lonely sea
so please baby
try and use me for what i’m good for
it ain’t sayin’ goodbye
it’s knockin down the door of your candy store

you roll me, control me, console me
please hold me
you guide me, divide me into what

so please tell me
why don’t you come around no more?
coz right now i’m
dying outside the door of your lovin store
it just takes a little bit of this, a little bit of that
it started with a kiss now we’re up to bat
a little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain
i’m telling you my babe it’s all in the game of love
it’s all in this game of love
it’s all in the game of love

roll me, control me,
please hold me

now here am i on my own, on my own //

faded away at 02:29 p.m.

Sunday, December 8, 2002

tried finding a job but it's so damn hard. :/ i'm so sad now! everybody's out or overseas, leaving poor me alone in freaking hot singapore. szuyu's in taiwan, chel's in europe, boon seems so busy, sinhui's in australia, jess' at jeanwen's house, simin's in japan, bean's in turkey, sa's in thailand. oh gosh! :(((( i have no money for christmas presents, or that purple skirt, or streak my hair. eeks. :( it suddenly dawns upon me i cannot get hyper or excited or have fun anymore. not when all my friends are not here!

christmas is appproaching, making me happy yet sad. i really lurrrrrrrrrrve xmas. the dazzling lights, beautifully decorated christmas trees and familiar xmas tunes humming in your ears. i love to absorb that magical xmas atmosphere but sadly, i never had my dream white christmas! :(

hahas didnt mean to sing a song but i've tried so hard and got so far, in the end it doesnt even matter. what can i say? u pick up people and lose some on the way. that's the way life is. it took me long enough to realise who lied, who stayed by my side, who ran away and who remained. it isnt so much of self-induced negativity, but more of enlightenment. i think. :/

wee, i wish i can attend Party in the Park man. anybody has sorry seems to be the hardest word mtv? hais, i cant seem to find it. :/


Ahhhhhhhh!

faded away at 02:02 p.m.

Friday, December 6, 2002

haha i couldnt help but feel that my life's quite screwed up sometimes. i always regret what i do. 3 months isnt a prob, but 2nd intakers in vj really suffer there. i've 2 extreme cases man. suddenly, realization dawns upon me that i'm seeing liars everywhere i go. people who are fucking irritating and go around screwing people's lives up. can't get enough of themselves? probably.

ahh, my gbook sucks, so does what i'm feeling now. gosh, what's wrong with me?!

faded away at 10:07 p.m.

Thursday, December 5, 2002

my supposedly new layout though the pages and contents are not up yet. :)

i'm back! -stretches and yawns- went jess' house to stayover on tuesday and whoa.. me jess and tav played mahjong, monopoly and ate titbits all the way till 5 am in the morning. tav fell asleep while me and jess continued till 6+. went to the chalet at around 9 and the first part was really boring. during the bbq, the sec 4s supposedly acted dua and just waited for our food to be served to us. ehhhs, it's like that every year anyways. kai kept laughing at me for accidentally eating the honeydew skin and of course, by the next second, everybody knew about it already! it's just so typical of kaixin to laugh at me hahas thanks man. mrs seah came and talked to me. oh, suddenly she made me realise i may not even make it to hc anyways. oh.. alrights. thanks. the juniors bought zhangpei a cake fer her birthday and whoa! it was certainly a sight seeing people running around trying to smash her face with creammy cake. poor gurl. played bridge daidee name game and murderer and whatever.

at midnight, the buddy thingy was revealed and there was a christmas presents exchange session. oh man, received many nice nice presents from the juniors and everybody were quite amused at the sec 4 farewell present. hahaha. i don't know what to say actually. it's a food tray with a cup filled with blue stones and a beeg flower with eyes is pasted on the cup! :) the rest who stayed over chatted and told ghost stories. oh gooosh, the stories were really really freaaaky.

woke up the next morning and played fortune telling. oh man, many of our results were so true, esp mine and kangwei's. i thought i wouldn't believe it. oh wells, it spelled something bad of course, and we consoled ourselves that we'll just give up and look ahead. ate lunch with the remaining people and had a hard time bringing the fragile presents home. slept for 8 hours because i only slept for around 5 hours in 2 days. oh my.

it's been most annoying when some emotion just creeps its way back to your heart. you thought you forgot everything, but all you did was leaving it aside in your heart. i didn't mean to remind myself of the dark period of my life. arghs.

it's just so hard to forget

// am i not pretty enough
is my heart too broken
do i cry too much
am i too outspoken
don't i make you laugh
should i try it harder
why do you see right through me

i live i breathe
i let it rain on me
i sleep i wake
i try hard not to break
i crave i love
i've waited long enough
i try as hard as i can

i laugh i feel
i make believe it's real
i fall i freeze
i pray down on my knees
i hope i stand
i take it like a man
i try as hard as I can

why do you see right through me
why do you see right through me
why do you see right through me //

faded away at 11:25 p.m.