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160202
kinda shocked by how jay chou music has gone into the lives of so many. i used to think wads the big deal about him n his music. my sister even disliked him. minlin HATES chinese songs. but after listening to him, we all got attracted to his style of music. weeee. very impressed. he has many good songs. kind of admire his originality too. the more i think of it, the more i feel pity for myself for not going to his concert while my sis got a free ticket! =/
finally finished doing yixiu's present. wahhh, my eyes are blurring. suddenly feel that i'm so nice to my friends! haha... *hinthint* weeeeeee, music's my life!
150202
didnt mean to spoil the first part of the day. but even sandy could see that nobody was talking to me. felt so pathetic. hate to see myself always going back class alone. no one can understand how i feel. so pls try not to do to others what u dun wan others to do to u.
anyways, after school was fun. didnt feel uncomfortable or left out or wadeva like i felt earlier on. went town wif kai n jess. we were lazy pigs n just walked around wearily. bought yixiu's present. yay hope she likes it. then we went marche for reunion dinner. quite a few went. about 18? haha joyce foo shui yen was there, she's the oldest, in fact, so old! n corny. tried new food today. hehe, realised perhaps i still felt the closest to badminton people. and perhaps you just need some other people who don't get in contact with you much yet are the closest at heart. =/ met this stupid irritating tchs guy in the mrt. we were happily taking photos in the mrt... AA-ing again =/... then he started saying that photography in public transport is against the law. we started mumbling about it. he then added that if we doubt him, we can go look fer the sign at the mrt station later. like wadeva lor! oh btw, yah we couldnt find it. so irritated. felt so hopeless today, i was actually telling myself since x always like that, i shall stop myself from further sinking. and then my msg was replied. =/ confusion + happiness + helplessness. boo. was thinking about tournament ending and training stopped. i wonder how could i feel close to badminton again. my life is so dependent in badminton. if i feel unhappy in class, i'll be cheered up during training or something. vice versa too. i dun know why. wonder how i can lighten up or laugh n joke from my inner being when social life with snbt pple is being narrowed. i wonder.
140202
kool woleb.....
decided to change color. don't know why i am always like that. perhaps i had too high expectations of everybody around me. that i never did realise this world don't really need a person like me, and still can go on with their life happily. hate myself for being so vulnerable when coming to friendships. i lost trust, complete trust in human relationships.
what a great valentine's day
130202
watched michael jackson 30th anniversary. think he really deserved to be the king of pop. and when i see the way some fans simply fainted n had to be carried off, it further enhanced his charisma. jessica was screaming over the phone, i could barely hear what he was singing=/ haha. the american music awards i watched yesterday was super good too. usher was so sart, he danced really damn well. but kinda imitating michael jackson makes the dance lose its originality. love the song u got it bad.
hate it when i always stubbornly refuse to face hurtful facts. n still goes on praying fer a dream coming true. it's been more than one year already. it's time to wake up. *slaps*
130202
today's been a rotting day. wanna go out but nobody could. so slept n slept n slept. how boring. finish my vdae pressies. yay looks okay n hope pple will not go n think about the price =/ realised sometimes i can even talk more to people i don't seem close to. perhaps coz i noe who's uninterested to what i haf to sae or certain things just cant be talked about with them. n i'm so touched my mum saved the dumplings fer me when i woke up at like erms 9pm?! or it'll be in my sis' friends' stomaches now. =)
watched this sweet touchin' show but the ending was weird. n is our friendship just going to end this way? by keeping me waiting? i still cannot accept imperfect endings.
110202
yay so happy. bot this top nicer n much cheaper than the one at heeren. =) my legs were soooo tired today, don't know why. me n jess finished our shopping spree even before 2. how shocking. had a very filling reunion dinner with my family (only) at home. feel so bad that my dad giving us red packets! don't know why, perhaps coz me oredi took quite a bit from him. =/ hais....today i basically didnt gotta chance to say hi. =/ or take a photo. boo.
090202
just came back from town. went breeks for dinner wif szuyu+kai+tav+zhang+erica+shuwen+aileen. it was so fun. we just ate there and went around taking photos. as usual, badminton was very AA. i couldnt believe that we sang birthday song on the top of our voices like we do in class at breeks! taking photos was fun too. we didnt really bother whether we will look pretty on the photo, or our image or wadeva. took really corny fotos. cant wait to see the one i took of kai solemnly looking at the birthday cake. haha! she nearly killed me. n i really spent a lot on szuyu's bdae. eating at breeks, birthday cake n most imptly, her pressie! hais guess its all worth it. going out wif snbt's really fun. we bot the cake on today in town itself. its like u dun really care if it'll cause u lotsa money. u just wanna gif ur fren the best on her special day, n happiness in return. hais. wadda wonderful day. =)
070202
yay. n i love the song insatiable. thanks honey. :)
When the moonlight crawls along the street
Chasing away the summer heat
Footsteps outside somewhere below
The world revolves, I'd let it go
We build our church above the street
We practice love between these sheets
The candy sweetness scent of you
It bathes my skin, I'm stained by you
And all I have to do is hold you
There's a racing within my heart
And I am barely touching you
Turn the lights down low
Take it off let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable
The moonlight plays upon your skin
A kiss that lingers takes me in
I fall asleep inside of you
There are no words
There's only truth
Breathe in Breathe out
There is no sound
We move together up and down
We levitate our bodeis soar
Our feet don't even touch the floor
But nobody knows you like I do
The world doesn't understand
That I grow stronger in your hands
We never sleep we're always holdin' hands
Kissin' for hours talkin' and makin' plans
I feel like a better man
Just being in the same room
We never sleep there's just so much to do
So much to say
can't close my eyes when I'm with you
Insatiable the way I'm lovin' you
020202
just finished reading all my journal entries. kinda suprised at wot i wrote last time. some so mean, some so depressing, some so super corny. i cant even believe i wrote them all. n its like nostalgia. n discovered that my entries are turning less n less elaborated. soon, i cant even remember wot i did. rites. then from my entries did i realise that i had gotten myself into so much depression. then all the hurting stuff cums flashing baq in my mind. certainly, when can i really get these of my mind?
i keep fallin' in n out of love wif u
010201
today i was again disgusted by how biased maria can get. fancy vomitting is not much of a sickness than gastric pain. wadeva lor. was so surprised by her act today. shocking things rushed through my mind so fast like an engine, i was simply at a loss for words. realise i cannot understand myself any further. i have such a vague description of my emotions.
was so super happy today. by some stuff. heh. guess i can never forget laladeedums. n i'm just in the mood to write something again.
i wonder at how u could lift me up to the sky, n crush me down like a paper.
u amaze me bt the way u could bring a smile to my face, or reduce me to tears so easily.
isnt it strange how u could make me suffer so much pain, yet get away so easily.
it started by just a glance
i knew it more than a chance
u are the one wif fatal charm
that washes awae my mortal calm
leaving me in a naked realm
devoid of sense- only love
feel like a toy in ur hand
u manipulated me once again
managed just to make u smile
feel like a drop of water in the desert mile
n the things i'd do
for ur angel smile
300102
took people fer granted. den its too late to realise that some people around u are the friendships u should cherish fer life.=/ get well soon shuhan! eating oreo bits now, studied maths test fer like hlaf an hour?! seriously dun noe how to study. bah/. n i'm so pissed. booooooo. hu needs u toking here. ahhhhh./ i hate u. IN A VERY SULKY MOOD
late at night like a lil child
wondering round alone in my new friend's home
on my tippy toes so that he won't know
i still cry baby over u n me
250102
dun care bt anything anymore. bot a purple notebook today. keep ponderin' over wot me gonna do wif it. decided i shall write some song lyrics n my poems in it. plus some people's passport size photos n kinda write up on them. hee. or maybe i'll ask them to write themselves. yay. looking forward to sha's bday. nydc. =) hu bother abt TESTS man!! it doesnt help ur O's. yeah~
u can record one's life with paper
or write down ur feelings wif a pen
but no ruler can measure the distance btn the two of us
180102
it starts with one thing i don't know y
it doesnt even matter how hard u try
keep tt in mind now i designed this rhyme
to explain in due time
all I noe
time is a valuable thing
watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
watch it count down to the end of the day
the clock ticks life away
its so unreal
didn't look out below
watch the time go right out the window
tryin to hold on but didn't even know
wasted it all just to
watch it go
i kept everythin' inside and even tho I tried
it all fell apart
what it meant to me will eventually b a memory of a time when
i tried so hard
n got so far
but in the end
it doesn't even matter
i had to fall
n lose it all
but in the end
it doesn't even matter
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