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I'd rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth and one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. -City Of Angels
In the arms of the angel
Far away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
After watching the movie, i think i am putting this lyrics up again with a much stronger reason and emotion.
Sorry if i'm unable to reply your smses. Will be able to use my phone soon.
listening to: "No Such Thing" by John Mayer
feeling: a little out of the blue
I just have the urge to add another entry especially after talking to char about some stuff today. How do you describe a puddle of emotions swirling with abhorrence, guilt and anger at the same time? Ever since i've stepped onto this puddle, i haven't been able to dry myself. Not that i've been awfully drenched from head to toe, but it can be really bothering at times. Sometimes you just can't help feeling the way you do and let your emotions get the better of you, can you?
There's just so many things i wish i could say to some people. But the world leaves no place for feelings meant to be hidden. So many frivolous things i want to do. But time waits for no man. So many things i've been trying to escape from, yet they accumulate and are pushing me to my limits. And so many dreams i've conjured up in my mind a thousand times, wishing for them to come true, yet reality is often more prosaic.
I never knew i was such an escapist.
Went for marche just now for zhanwei's farewell and shared tempura fish plus wedges with lilian! Despite having eaten a kfc meal earlier on. :/ I took a test in this magazine before and the result was that i fall into the Can't Stop Eater category. I have this tendency to finish whatever's left on my plate and keep eating though i'm not even hungry! Oh well, i live to eat. :D
Anyways, zhan wei, (though i doubt he'll ever come here), hope you have a safe trip and be able to adapt to the life over there! I think he'll have no problem though, since he always talks cock and lames around, unlike my miss szuyu in new york who is abnormally anti social. Heed my advice and talk more la. I miss her (lameness only)! Sighs. Come back soon smelly.
Played pool after dinner. Took some act-pro-in-pool photos. Hopefully they turn out well. Hehe. Played at the Newbies' Table with char, marcus and bernard. I'm still lousy at pool, nevertheless. As you can see, i'm typing in disjointed sentences. Hehs. I'm tired but i don't know why.
You are Blue Monkey, who has pretty smile and are charming woman.
Your personality is very straightforward and conscientious.
Although you seem rather nervous, you are naturally strong and can not stand to lose.
You are a honest person with guts.
Your facial features are handsome and you are a smart dresser with urban sense.
You are also a curious person.
You are a hard worker, and you put your energy not only in work but also in your personal interests.
There are many Blue Monkey people who have mastered an art that would result in practical benefits.
You can show womanly consideration to those around you, and even if you are not feeling well, you can commit your self in making happy atmosphere.
Although you try to act cheerfully, you tend to be rather lonely mentally.
Unlike your outer characteristic, you tend to submit to lonely circumstances.
You are not very good at expressing your feelings, and may give false idea to those around you.
You should know that without trying to make your self understood, you won't to get the cooperation and help of the others.
You will be able to lead life free from pressure, if you can keep a relationship with those people bonded by heart.
Your intelligence and creativity makes you suited to jobs relating to art and design.
Once married and you have children of your own, you will become good mother and wife.
Take the test here! Mine's kinda accurate! Especially the good mother and wife part! Hahaha. Szuyu's one was 90% accurate too. Though zhanwei's one is totally the opposite man. What shy and don't dare to talk in public.. Muahahah. Tell me if yours works. Anyone. :)
listening to: "Without You" by Kimberly Locke and Clay Aiken
feeling: delirious
This morning, i was thinking i would be complaining about how bad the day had started and probably it's a premonition for a bad day but i was wrong. I had a smashin' good fun time during my sch's carnival and of course, the company played a major role!
It started really badly this morning. I predicted myself to be late for half an hour for the cip meeting. And the bus came really late. Halfway down the train journey, i suddenly recalled i haven't bring my coupons! Bahhh. Had to head back home and reached school one hour late for the carnival.
Oh wells. Thank goodness i reached the audi just in time to watch the mad salsa dance performance and it was really nice! Then meilin, ivy and i went to play the soccer thingy (what's that called??) and i didn't know that thingy could actually be so fun! We kept screaming and laughing and jumping and getting crazy, trying to spin the erm.. bbq-chicken-wing-like skewers thing! Played the frisbee thingy too but only meilin managed to hurl one frisbee through the hole. By the way, we asked josh why he didn't send us any flowers furthermore his class was in charge of the stupid cupid thing. Then he really came with a pretty bouquet of gerberas (i think) and a note dedicated to the badminton girls! So sweet. Played the darts thing too at hanjie's class booth and huimin gave me a purple balloon coz i was envious seeing all the stupid cupid people scurrying around! Thanks sweetieeee. =) Took a neoprint with ivy, meilin, jill and genxian too. Felt really bad coz jinyong climbed up four levels to pass me the product! Btw i really look even grosser in photos. -_-'
Boon and chel came after that! Thanks girls for coming! We ate lilian and han's cheesy hotdogs, potato, macho nachos and chocolate muffin. Whoa, we queued for like one hour plus for the haunted house but it was worth the time and money i guess! Went in with boon, chel, meilin, jill and huimin and we were such a comical bunch i almost laughed my head off! It started with boon being really really scared and jillian claiming she would protect us. Then even before the door closed behind us, some of them started screaming already! Hahaha. Despite the sunlight filtering through, yes. Then during the first stretch of path, there weren't any ghosts but erps, we were screaming and laughing already. Boon kept grabbing me! Hahaha there was this girl who played with her broken doll and KEPT pestering meilin and refused to let her pass! Oh meilin fell down and when she was trying to cling on to huimin to get up again, min frantically hit her with her monkey balloon!! Hahaha! :D The only ghost we didn't scream at was pearlyn. She was frantically waving her red sleeves about in a lunatic manner haha! We were like telling her she can stop already. Ooh, didn't like the scream mask though. Looks like you're peering into darkness when you look through the eyes. Basically, i could have been scared la but i was really so amused and laughing crazily at the bunch! There was this thing hanging on the ceiling and swooped down suddenly on meilin's head she started screaming and crawling about frantically! HAAHAAHAA.. Jillian was taking the lead all the time with her arms wide open back hunched and knees bent, walking very cautiously in front. Whenever a ghost jumped out, she looked like she gonna challenge the ghost and fight it bravely hahaha! Boon and chel barely knew her but found her really hilarious! But the only sad thing was i didn't get to catch the juniors in action as most of them were doing the first shift. ;( Still, great job guys!
The judo game looked really amusing! The two players had to don this really huge and heavy sumo-like costume with erps, the two flaps in front that looked really .. hmmmm. Boon and chel left while min and i went to watch meilin challenge tze phern! Well.. the entire time meiilin was basically giving a lot of weird noises that signalled her utmost effort to bump hard against tzephern but the later kind of didn't budge at all. Urm, she fell down several times before she could even touch him! Hahaha. Decided to play with min but we were basically laughing really really hard the whole time it was so tiring. I cannot forget the scene when min laid flat on the floor, looking silly with her massive costume and kept claiming that she couldn't get up! Hahaha!! Okay la, since the purple balloon looked so nice up there at my ceiling, let's bury our old hatchet and join forces to bring our tricking skills to greater heights! Erps.
And oh meilin got dunked! Hehe tzephern cheated. Joined in the mass dance and my partner was sebastian the enthu councillor! Haha he was really helpful la and praised me for learning fast, unlike tzephern who kept doubting my dancing skills. =( Meilin and i were waiting for our turn to do henna when tze phern said he needed to go off for a while. Then he came back with a pretty pink rose for me and a box of nice silver heart-shaped chocs for meilin! So sweet! We didn't expect that at all. Sorry meilin if u read this, but for the fifth time, i never received such a strong rose. From the moment i received it till now, the flower is still standing strong and not drooping over its neck at all! By the way it was a really pretty gradient sort of soft pink.
And a huge hug to ivy for giving the team deep red roses yesterday coz she missed us!! :)
Thanks to all who made my day! Even the clouds were roasted beautifully pink by the sun as i walked home today.
listening to: "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot
feeling: slight gloominess
Lately, news of death have been hounding those surrounding me relentlessly. Though it doesn't concern me, i'm somewhat affected one way or another, especially when it has been these days that so many had teared upon the loss of a loved one. To see faces of sunshine shrouded by clouds of melancholy is one thing I couldn’t bear. To have recurring morbid thoughts and imagining the pain that those had felt is another. It’s such easy to see characters die in drama serials, yet in real life, death is so hard. Hard to accept, hard to believe and hard to comprehend. It’s hard growing up too you know. For you see more deaths as age comes. Or so I believe. Maybe it’s time to view death in a different light. I remembering reading somewhere about Catherine lim saying that like the birth of her life, she will accept its closure with equal joy. Quite cool. I think I will want to leave before any of my loved ones. Kind of selfish huh?
All these gloomy news make me want to treasure those around me even more than before.
You don’t miss your water till the well runs dry.
Maybe I should stop myself from sinking further into this depressing topic.
On a lighter note, I love FRIENDS! Never fails to lighten things up. Please please let me remember to watch the next episode which is a 45 min special. And ooh there are gonna be many days off school for the next two weeks! Am getting psyched up for the upcoming homecoming carnival this coming Saturday. Thanks to boonie and meilin. Hope it’ll be fun!
Intended to pop by juniors' training yesterday and i ended up playing till lights were out. Realised i wouldn't mind training forever! I finally come to full realisation how important it is to have goals and passion in your life. Puts so much drive in you. Wish i could put that same passion and dedication into studies though.
Been in an inexplicably strange mood recently. Having random distorted thoughts, feeling somewhat nonchalent about stuffs yet they seep and settle quietly into the back of my head, and being a little worn out from all these. I don't know. Tired.
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
listening to: "Come On" by Ben Jelen
feeling: dreamy
Jillian was short listed as Abs inducer! Really excited for her! I think the funniest nomination goes to mr guo zherui contending for the MISS Body Beautiful title. Hahaha!
Watched this Korean film An Affair last night and I was overwhelmed by the emotions that rushed inside me. No it wasn’t those lovey dovey sort. Strangely enough, albeit the typical plot, the scenes just seemed to tug at my heartstrings.
I’ve thought of the clouds a thousand times
And the moon that would lull me to sleep at nights
Heard the language of stars
Of how they embroider the blanket of clouds
They were never too far.
Have you ever woke up to the beauty of sunsets
Where the horizon stretches over miles of shimmering waters
The whole world in serenity
And painted in shades of red?
I have, I’ve dreamt of them
In crimson passion
With a scarlet lover.
listening to: "Yearbook" by Hanson
feeling: listless
Somehow, waves of time wash away feelings that were once so genuine, leaving the shore cold and bare naked. I hate how friendships go to waste like that. Unnoticed. Yet I play a pivotal role in making this happen. It’s pretty nasty, being the way I am and feeling the ways I do. Somehow, things are really ain’t what they seem at all. People often misconstrue what’s on the surface. It’s quite a distressing fact that I often give others the impression that I’m pissed. I’m born with an unfriendly face you see, I can’t help it. Yet some things are better left unsaid. You can’t expect me to go up to some of you and say Hey why aren’t we talking like the way we used to?, can I? And so, I ate up my words.
All these have finally taken a toll on me.
Or maybe i should just smile more often. Albeit the fact that I’ll look sillier than ever. Haha. And i think zherui's gonna laugh at my smile.
I thought the video we watched yesterday during gp regarding designer babies was rather interesting. Yet whatever the future may hold is such frightening. Just imagine the figures walking on the face of this earth are all artificially made in perfection, probably with such high intelligence they wipe out the entire real human race. Or like what the video said, the society will be split between the haves and the have-nots. The disparity between the rich and the poor will be worsened by genetic differences too. Uh, then maybe being perfect isn’t such a good thing after all.
The pair of eyes
Lurks.
Creeps.
Meets.
Flickers.
Unwanted attention.
Uneasiness,
Into abhorrence.
Can’t you tell?
Anybody listened to Hanson in p6? It's really quite rare for anybody to know this song i liked.
"Yearbook" by Hanson
Dear Amy, see you in September
Hope that you remember me next year
Hey Jamie, you've been a great friend to me
I hope that I'll still see you around here
'Cause I'm looking through the yearbook
then I find that empty space
There's a name without a picture,
but I can't forget his face
Tell me where did he go,
I want to know
Where did Johnny go?
It says,
"Picture unavailable" right here
More than sad, it makes me mad
to know somebody knows
There's a lying in your silence
Tell me where did Johnny go?
Poor Katie, she won't even speak his name
None of us will ever be the same
It's quiet in the halls, but I hear echoing off the walls.
The rumors of Johnny's mystery
'Cause I'm looking through the yearbook
then I find that empty space
No he never wrote me nothing,
but I can't forget his face
listening to: "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5
feeling: fit ;)
I just went running with my sis at this vast field spot near our house for about 45 min and 20 min of walking. Well, I never realize running at night could feel so good! The lovely night scenery, the cooling night breeze, the sweet fresh air and the tranquility all blended so pleasantly into the atmosphere. Makes me feel like I own the world, even if the feeling was transient. But who cares if anything could last? It’s the process, that adrenalin rushing through your blood that makes everything worthwhile. Maybe everything created were meant to be faded in the end, but it’s the manufacturing part that is so memorable and meaningful, ain’t it?
Was supposed to meet meilin online but she coincidentally went running with her brother too! We are all finally getting fit these days huh? The last time i ran was the beginning of june. Actually I gotta thank my teammates for the team runs every Wednesday that developed my interest in running. Otherwise, I would have thought running at night with my sister and sacrificing my dreaming time is um, absurd.
The sense of achievement I was talking about in my previous post was the chocolate cake topped with mouth-watering fudge my teammates and I baked for huimin’s birthday! Absolutely gorgeous I tell you. Finally got the meaning of imperfect beauty in that context. Well I shall spare the details except to say that the cake was utterly delicious. We met up in the morning and blew balloons while waiting for the arrival of the birthday girl. Present presentation was sweet and what can I say? Feels so proud of my team. ;)
Baked a brownie and cut it in the shape of a C for char’s birthday as well. To my horror, on Friday morning, a quarter of the C was gone! Thanks to my sister. I was really raging with anger but when my sister sent a sms telling me she was really so hungry the night before she forgot my umpteen times to remind her, and that she was really sorry, my heart just softened la. I mean, I have only two good sisters and friends like Charlene are everywhere on the street, right? HAHAHA just kidding. ;)
Had an enjoyable time chatting at island creamery with min, meilin and jill on Friday afternoon. I love the satisfying mudpie, refreshing soursop and the teh-tareky teh tarek ice cream! Went for Char’s birthday barbeque at her house later at night which was really successful! I haven’t seen such a great 69 gathering for long! Only five monkey juniors came but the entire company was fun. I think I had fun feeding everybody with freshly cooked food and going around taking photos. Hope char liked the smaller version of the C-shaped brownie I’ve trimmed baked with chips ahoy cookies and this huge C-shaped collage of pretty pink magazine pieces and photographs I’ve decorated for her!
I think forgive and forget is by far the hardest but greatest virtue. I’m still learning. Shall not talk about the gory details but yes, I realize the more I take care of something, the more it’ll be destroyed. Just, spare me the agony won’t you?
Saturday marked the end of my cip shifts at bishan. Char and I rewarded ourselves by watching Mean Girls. Yeah, it’s just another chick flick but I thought it was really entertaining and hilarious. Quite meaningful too and we have an eyecandy inside! In case anybody is as slow as me, the lead Lindsay lohan is one of the twins in Parent Trap! I didn’t know they grew up so fast. Pretty pretty!
I realize I have quite an eclectic taste for films. Maybe the styles of different movies have their unique appeal on me. Or maybe it’s just the mood. You know, sometimes you’re in for a highly crafted plot to boggle with your mind, or a fantasy-like background for a temporary getaway, visually stimulating graphics to satisfy your visual desires, a heart wrenching story to appeal to your emotions, somewhat a meaningful one for you to tamper with life's philosophies, or simply a chick flick, a romantic comedy to relax and laugh your time away.
Actually you can't compare. I've started a quite private blog that gradually turned public four years ago. You can't ask me why i choose to blog online now. I find that quite difficult to answer. Maybe having an online journal is indeed public, but it became a habit. Well, indeed, i'm tired of being cryptic. Oh well, at least it is keeping my precious memories now.
Okay there’s something weird about me. People normally can’t sleep after running but I guess I’m all ready to sink into my bed already. Yay, movie with meilin and maybe emily tomorrow!