Listening to Kissing You by Des'ree makes me have the urge to watch Romeo and Juliet again. The untainted love, the star-crossed lovers, the tragedy and the pain.

Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you, my soul cries
heaving heart is full of pain
Oh, oh the aching

'Cause I'm kissing you, oh
I'm kissing you, oh

Touch me deep, pure, and true
Give to me forever

'Cause I'm kissing you, oh
I'm kissing you, oh

Where are you now?
Where are you now?
'Cause I'm kissing you
I'm kissing you, oh

I really love spins. Just sitting at the passenger seat, listening to good music, watching the car whiz past the long meandering roads in the middle of the night is really therapeutic. You feel that you have the liberty to leave your worries behind and just progressing forward. A spin soon, anyone?

Oh so happy day! Temasek Hall is the IHG OVERALL CHAMPIONS 06/07! We got back our overall title PLUS girls' title! I'm so proud of our girls la. We are champions for badminton, handball, basketball, hockey, swimming, cross campus, track and soccer! Not one single hall had so many golds for both sex. And it was such a miraculous win, needing so many factors to happen. We were all discussing about it earlier on today. Cross campus guys had to secure a 2nd place, girls had to win and eusoff girls had to get 3rd. They all fell into place nicely at the very last moment! We held the overall title for sooo many years and last year, we lost all three to eusoff. Getting it back this year is a really great feeling. :) So proud to be a Temasekian.

Whenever you feel you have had a bad day, never fail to remind yourself there were and are always good days to keep you moving. And today's a good example of a good day. It was pure fun - ethnic chinatown with the festive spillovers, crowds meandering along the streets, vendors at the top of their voices, streaks of red and gold (and pigs) everywhere, good company by your side. Suddenly it was quite fun indulging yourself in the hustle bustle of chinese new year. Well, i never knew that.

Courtesy of key and ade, we started buying materials and making our own jewellery. Nothing beats the sense of achievement and pride that comes thereafter! I love my gold tinklebell fairy! The one with black teardrop is my favourite necklace. A considerably hefty price since it's from bangkok.

Looking like we were three hardworking goldsmiths.

I'm dreaming of holidays and deserving breaks already. Complete with sunkissed beaches, crystal blue waters, golden sunsets with splashes of pink, and the randomness of things.

I gave my room a good old spring-cleaning today! At last, a truly free day to myself in absolute peace and relaxation. All wrapped up in the comfort of my own room, with the sun rays filtering through, the soothing music in sync with my mood, the breeze dancing with the blinds, the surroundings so tranquil and beautiful. Thank goodness it’s valentine’s day, busy bee is finally commitment-free today. Guess this break came at the right time.

Thanks for the roses people! They are always so pretty to look at, which makes their withering even sadder.

Oh I love my room! Wish I can spend more time in it.

Okay i'm off to meet my valentine date! :D

Thank goodness IHG is almost over. Badminton, softball, tennis then squash. Like last year, three got into finals and thankfully i'm gonna get two medals again!

Out of so many semesters, this is really the semester that i'm most worried for my studies. It's not just about having no time to study. I can't seem to concentrate and absorb AT ALL during lectures and tutorials. I just drift away thinking about productions, dance, or simply building castles in the air. There's two upcoming tests on tuesday and i haven't really studied for them. Nor am i in the mood for it. Sheesh, and it's not even halfway through the semester.

And things weren't going quite smoothly. You know how someone never really goes away even when she's physically gone. The memories of her cooking in the kitchen, whipping up delicious teochew dishes for our usual sunday visits wthout fail, sitting by the table puffing away, offering my sisters and i horribly-smelling herbal soup coz of the heatiness in our bodies, saying "gao hor, gao" (guai in teochew) to us. And how could i forget her - being the only one who bought me lanterns for mid autumn festivals, sewed me pillow and bolster cases, and never failed to smile, lighting up her face wrinkled with time. A smile i've come to appreciate since childhood and never faded. Maybe it's easier to bear now, as i felt i've already lost her ever since she had a brain stroke a few years back. She couldn't recognize us anymore. I thought it was more painful then, looking her in the eyes but the familiar wink of recognition never returned again. But, as i looked at the coffin being pushed to the furnace, the pain was most gnawing. It's like sinking into me that the grandmother who still smiled and recognized us was really really gone this time.

And i still recall, several years ago, when i was just a little girl. I imagined how things would be like should my grandparents ever disappear amidst the clouds and go to heaven. And then it happened. It happened just like that.

But goodness knows, i was blessed with such a bunch of supportive friends i felt tears flowed were soon to pass and life goes on. Thanks to meilin for the call and jess for the note and welfare pack and both offering to come down, zes for the mushy reassurance, shan and min at squash, sanduo for the call, and yiwen xianhong kevin sq jacinth barry and many more for the concern. Don't know why, but i felt really really touched, having people like these around me at such a point in life. Thanks friends.

The softball semis against KR

It was down to the very last inning and we were down 5-2 against KR. Two batters were down, and it was one more strike-out before KR could safely be on their way to the finals. I lost hope for a while, and i thought of how much we have trained and how much we wanted to win. And that was heart-wrenching. Then, miraculously, the tables seemed to turn. Pitcher started to crack. Xianhong got to walk two bases. Shin could safely proceed without batting. Now all 3 bases are loaded by jueqi, xianhong and shin. I turned to look at our next batter and voila, standing in the batting circle was brandon our star exchange student in his usual calm and i-don't-give-a-damn-about-the-opponent manner. Could this be Lady Luck shining so brightly upon us? The KR pitcher, having cracked, gave him 3 balls. Some of us chanted "Walk the base walk the base!". Another ball from the pitcher and brandon could walk the bases and safely increase our score by two. I jolly well knew that but it wasnt enough. 5-4 and we'd have to send more batters up for more nerve-wrecking sessions. So i kept muttering "Home run home run" under my breath, wanting so badly to see brandon bring all four home, yet thinking this could be the very last chance at IHG, not knowing whether to feel scared or nervous or dejected or all at the same time. And before i knew it, brandon swung his bat though it was a clear ball and the ball was sent far far away. Then everything happened very quickly. Jueqi came home, xianhong came home, shin sprinted as if it was her very last breath and the pitcher ALMOST got her out by throwing to the catcher but for unknown reasons he didnt. He ran and failed to tag our fervent iron lady out, and unfortunately paid too much attention to her, giving brandon a chance to steal home beautifully for a winning score of 6-5.

And i knew victory was sweet. The wave of euphoria following the intense anticipation and praying at the sidelines was immense, and i cried amidst the hugs and hops and hollers of joy. He was right. With a match of the century like this, the finals doesnt seem to matter that much anymore. You'll never truly taste victory with mere winning streaks. It is after having picked yourself up from the dumps and mud and fighting your way back to glory. I could easily said we could have won more easily, and we did have a few innings where we held them so tightly they could not score any runs at all. It was just one particular inning where we made mistakes and they had good hits, causing KR to score 5 runs. But well, I would rather things ended this way. It showed me a lot.

Presenting TH Softball Team 06/07 :)

The long-awaited softball IHG finally arrived! It was prelims today and we produced very good results! 28-4 vs KE VII and 9-8 vs Sheares. Sheares match score was close and they even led us initially but we somehow knew we'd fight back and boy, did we fight so hard! I can still remember that sacred inning where we were fielding so tightly that three batters were striked out consecutively! The heroes of the day were definitely Daniel, Jamal and Brandon for the home runs and fieldings. Basically everybody played really well. I even did a three base hit!!! :D Though i made a really lousy mistake of letting the ball slip and Sheares scored two points. Alvin was so near me and his throw was so accurate. :( Or not it could have been a double play and the players would have been striked out instead of going home. But anyhow, i realize it's really pointless harping over your mistakes. That's the big problem with me. The only thing i can do for the team now is to give in all my best and make up for my mistakes and prove that i can actually field! I kept having self-talks today about just going out there and hit the ball and not be affected by any shouts or taunts. Quite effective so far. And the team morale was really high and mighty. The support and encouragement were just there man. So proud to be part of this team. Just hope we won't get too complacent and continue our plays and defend our gold. Yeah! GO TH SOFTBALL TEAM!

Being very random again.

A photo of IHG 06/07 Takraw champions Eusoff Hall and runner-ups Temasek Hall. I really like this picture. After all the competition against rival EH in IHG, we're just sportsmen passionate about our sports. Just fighting for and with the people beside you.

On a totally random note, i've been going down to support quite a few sports. Hockey guys, track, takraw.. My voice is getting from bad to worse. Too bad i didnt go down for swimming today. We won every event and got double champs!! :)

A day should just be 48 hours long. Time is running short on my hands. I haven't have time to settle down properly, been sleeping like crazy during lectures and haven't met people like lilian ong lilian and boonnnnn and chelll for a longgg longgg time.

Sometimes i really wonder whether i'm asking for it. Being so busy and all. Aprilyn and yiwen call me IRON LADY coz i'm involved in both sports and cultural sides. Haha. Right from last sem, i could already predict myself being a busy bee this coming sem. E.g today is a sunday and i already knew my schedule is packed to the max this whole week. Tennis training and tennis IHG on monday, softball training and linda's dance on tuesday, Blast! and badminton IHG on wed (and having to skip jacky's dance damn), softball training and dance on thurs, productions rehearsal and dance on fri, softball IHG on sat and sun. Not to mention batting every night (which i really need) and having to choreograph both productions dance and TH dance. As you can tell, i can't even afford to put my studies inside my list. As much as i grumble, i know i'm doing things i enjoy. Even productions, where i do hope to make the night club scene and gun battle fight turn out fine. So pardon me, friends, for a month or more.

Right now, i just hope we'll bring home the gold this sunday!

Amelia's 21st birthday party at leedon heights

the A4 girls in stripes and polka dots! :)

So drawn to this.

Beautiful dawn
Lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I'd rather wake up and see (with you).
Beautiful dawn
I'm just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.

But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Beautiful dawn
Melt with the stars again.
Do you remember the day when my journey began?
Will you remember the end (of time)?
Beautiful dawn
You're just blowing my mind again.
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.

High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me

High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me

It feels like a funny little dream.

The trigger was pulled and I propelled forward upon hearing the gunshot. Alongside were people who started the race at the same time with me. And i ran as fast as my legs could take me. It felt really good running on your feet, having things running through your mind, and you know there were people running along with you. Till there was a point in time I looked beside me and almost fell off balance when I realized there were people who couldn’t catch up and others got on the track instead. I flustered, and slowed down, but carried on. It was tiring. Every step was a test of my failing strength, and I kept thinking of the starting line and those that gave up along the way. But you don’t know what you get till you reach the end of the road so I kept going. I felt lost, but safe that there were others running beside me.

I don't know where the dream brought me to but i discovered there's a whole lot more to learn in the process rather than looking back and wondering why things happened.

I knew i needed a nice little break after asia lecture yesterday, so i pulled along zes and xh with me to the coffee place. It was relaxing and definitely rejuvenating just talking about things that matter and things that don't, laughing and sipping a cup of coffee in one of those otherwise mundane afternoons. Funny how we always seem to get better breaks in between those busybee schedules than when you have hell loads of time in your hands.

I have very bad habits these days. Sleeping very very late at nights, waking up just in time for tea, then eating dinner downstairs with mum at 5 plus, meeting up with friends and eating big sandwiches and nice tea and coffee for another round of dinner. And staying up means getting very hungry in the middle of the night. Gosh, this is my third day like that already. Imagine i could wake up for breakfast and lunch. Then i'll have six meals a day.

And i really love coffee club's iced passion tea with vanilla ice-cream. Hee.

IHG is coming. School is starting. Deadlines are approaching. Productions and dance productions are coming. Ahhhhh.

This christmas holiday has been a homely one. My sister and i stayed home on christmas eve, and had this impromptu supper of sausages, calamari, coleslaw and beer. (Sounds like i'm living in the life of germans! haha okay cheap thrill) Lunched on christmas day with both sisters, dinnered with dad and mahjonged at night. We spent the time laughing and reminiscing about our childhood times, and it's funny how our memories seem to get jumbled up. We all remember different things! It tickles me just to think about the key incident, where we lost our house keys and set up a trap in the middle of the night in case the person who picked up our keys sneak into our house. We even hid our rulers and cane beside us when we slept! And also the pomelo skin story, my sister's ugly sticker collection, her drop-bread incident, favourite esso with its ice-cream cocktail and hotdog bun.. And then i realize maybe our large age gaps wasnt a problem after all. It helped us piece together the different parts of our jigsaw memories in different ways. I can picture us taking trips down memory lane and recollecting the past several years down the road, talking and laughing about the same old things over and over again but never seem to get tired of them. Just like how my dad and his siblings do now.

Anyway the hall christmas party with yiwen was finally over! Had pretty much fun organising it, especially preparing the food. I love preparing food! Though it was very very shagged. Special thanks to james for the car and preparation and log cake, alvin and min for the decor and everyone else who helped to bring the food, clear up or simply making it down to the party! Too bad many thought the white fondue was corn soup. It's pure melted Cadbury white chocolate bars! We had a movie marathon and by the time the tale of two sisters finished screening, it was near dawn already. I really remember the show being good la. Think those who watched it nearly died. Haha. Oops!

Merry christmas everybody! Let me enjoy the rain a little longer. Nice song and lyrics by the way.

The Search is Over by Survivor

How can I convince you
What you see is real
Who am I to blame you
For doubting what you feel
I was always reaching
You were just a girl I knew
I took for granted
The friend I had in you
I was living for a dream
Loving for a moment
Taking on the world
That was just my style
Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever
The search is over
You were with me all the while

Can we last forever
Do we fall apart
At times its so confusing
The questions of the heart
You followed me through changes
And patiently you'd wait
'Till I came to my senses through
Some miracle of fate
I was living for a dream
Loving for a moment
Taking on the world
That was just my style
Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever
The search is over
You were with me all the while

Now the miles stretch out behind me
Loves that I have lost
Broken hearts lie, victims of the game
Then good luck, it finally struck
Like lighting from the blue
Every highway's leading me back to you

Now at last I hold you
Now all is said and done
The search has come full circle
Our destinies are one
So if you ever loved me
Show me that you give a damn
You'll know for certain
The man I really am
I was living for a dream
Loving for a moment
Taking on the world
That was just my style
Then I touched your hand
I could hear you whisper
The search is over
Love was right before my eyes

Had fun at HK Cafe with jiting siongqun jiale and meilin last night. Today we headed down to Bedok 85 for ba chor mee and chicken wings, and my favourite you tiao at geylang later. Gosh i'm filled to the brim already.

Right now i have ugly blue blacks, a long cut on my sole, very very tanned skin and every part of my body aches. Windsurfing and cable skiing was fun, and tennis badminton softball trainings were tiring me out fast. I know i'm asking for it la, but well i enjoy the sports so it ain't bad at all. Sorry friends for not being able to meet up. :(

Sometimes i wonder how long it takes.

And i'm on the sad songs mode. Damn.

I guess now it's time for me to give up, I feel it's time
Got a picture of you beside me
Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup
Got a fist of pure emotion
Got a head of shattered dreams
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

Unaware but underlined I figured out the story
It wasn't good
But in the corner of my mind I celebrated glory
But that was not to be
In the twist of separation you excelled at being free
Can't you find a little room inside for me

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

And we'll be together, this time is forever
We'll be fighting and forever we will be
So complete in our love
We will never be uncovered again

The girls just left. Hehs, we attempted to watch some shows on my laptop but seeing that chel kept falling asleep, we hurry switched to mahjong on the couch. Boon and i had a lot of fun laughing at chel's silly antics. Like picking up the dice and rolling them after me, taking one tile instead of four after shuffling the tiles, throwing out flowers and putting birds as her flowers, asking me why for the two same tiles one has a red line in the middle and one doesnt (erm, its 6 and 9 bamboos actually), her barnacles pong.. (basically you get what i mean if you play mahjong) I swear i almost died, and no this is not her first time playing. Speaking of birds..

Chel was looking at her row of birds and she discovered that..

Boon's hair really resembled the bird's head! HAHAHA!!!

Okay sorry girls but i was really tickled. Sigh, stoning and laughing over jalan kayu prata at an unruly 4am really contributes nothing to my resolution of leading a healthy lifestyle. Okay, i promise i will start next week. And i decided i can't survive rotting at home the whole day.

Ask me, and i'll tell you this semester didnt pretty much strike me the way the first two semesters of varsity life did. Maybe i was already familiar with the norms and expectations that school brought, and all the predictables. I only know i studied the hardest this semester, learnt the most dances this semester, and ermmm couldn't take german this semester. And no, i'm not really looking forward to the next.

But school, essentially hall, for me is still fun, really. Being in the company of genuine friends and having the luxury of bonding sessions during late night chats, exercises and suppers beat working in the uptight city life and rushing about amidst the hustles and bustles anytime. That aside, i kinda fear the day i leave hall.

Very randomly, listening to old sentimental love hits in the middle of a quiet night is a pretty nice feeling, and almost a little melancholic.

Step Up with boon, monopoly with min xian james fuhong, badminton late at night, supper even later, ikea with yiwen and B4 friends, catching up with sinhui, my favourite old casuarine, ktv with sisters.. I think i am going to have a big big rest over this weekend, before IHG trainings begin.

I think i hold back a little, as i see myself slipping into a very comfortable world. I hold back, because i still want to hold on to things outside this world. I don't wish to lose feelings i once owned.

And Aubrey was her name
A not so very ordinary girl or name
But who's to blame?

For a love that wouldn't bloom
For the hearts that never played in tune
Like a lovely melody that everyone can sing
Take away the words that rhyme, it doesn't mean a thing

And Aubrey was her name
We tripped the light and danced together to the moon
But where was June?

No, it never came around
If it did it never made a sound
Maybe I was absent or was listening too fast
Catching all the words, but then the meaning going past

But God, I miss the girl
And I'd go a thousand times around the world just to be
Closer to her than to me

And Aubrey was her name
I never knew her, but I loved her just the same
I loved her name

Wish that I had found the way
And the reasons that would make her stay
I have learned to lead a life apart from all the rest
If I can't have the one I want, I'll do without the best

But how I miss the girl
And I'd go a million times around the world just to say
She had been mine for a day

"I finally came to the conclusion that maybe he was right. Maybe there are no such things as heroes. Maybe there are just people like my dad. I finally came to understand why they were so uncomfortable being called heroes. Heroes are something we create, something we need. It's a way for us to understand what is almost incomprehensible, how people could sacrifice so much for us, but for my dad and these men the risks they took, the wounds they suffered, they did that for their buddies, they may have fought for there country but they died for there friends. For the man in front for the man beside him, and if we wish to truly honor these men, we should remember them the way they really were - the way my dad remembered them. "
- Flag of Our Fathers

In many ways, a hero is just an icon we created to help us make better sense of the world and simplify the world around us, isn't it?

Sometimes i wonder how come it becomes so difficult. And why is it so easy in front of others. Have circumstances changed the way we think and feel, or simply pointed out our increasing differences? But differences was never an issue for me.

i think i must stop doing things in the middle of the night. Played tennis from 12 to 3am last night! Not forgetting mahjong and macs supper. And i sleep a horribly lot at home. Slept at 3am and woke up at 5pm! Whoaa. It's time to start a healthy lifestyle.

Read every line of this song..

There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven, and she's daddy's little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all, for...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk beside the pony daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning
And butterfly kisses at night

Sweet sixteen today
She's looking like her momma a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl
To perfume and makeup
From ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
"You know how much I love you daddy,
but if you don't mind,
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning
And butterfly kisses at night

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today
She'll make a promise, and I'll give her away
Standing in the bride room, just staring at her
She asked me what I'm thinking
And I said "I'm not sure,
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
And she leaned over...gave me...

Butterfly kisses with her momma there
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle daddy, it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy? Daddy don't cry"
With all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning
And butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more, man, this is what love is
I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll alway remember
Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses...

This is a photo i took during sunset time at TH bus stop. So pretty, isn't it? The jagged edges of the leaves form such a beautiful pattern on the splashes of sky blue. Makes me wanna sigh and marvel at the very essence of nature and how it manifests itself into such beauty.

When you finely craft a world in your own perfect terms, everything can be so beautiful too.

I absolutely love my new tinseltown firefox theme look! Haha, i am in the christmas mood now, playing christmas jazzy songs on itunes and admiring my purple lights hanging by the windowpane. The next thing i need to do is stroll down the decorated streets of orchard wonderland and bask in the season of joy! :)

It's a marshmallow world in the winter
When the snow comes to cover the ground
It's time for play it's a whipped cream day
I wait for it the whole year around.

Those marshmallow clouds being friendly
In the arms of the ever-green-trees
And the sun is red like a pumpkin had
It's shining so your nose won't freeze.

Oh, the world is your snowball see how it grows
That's how it goes whenever it snows
The world is your snowball just for a song
Get up and roll it along.

Oh, it's a yum yummy world made for sweethearts
Take a walk with your favorite girl
It's a sugar date what a spring is late
In winter it's a marshmallow world.

I know i've said this here umpteen times, but it's been long since i had such a great afternoon. Just in the comfort of my own little room, peering out of the window and watching the sheets of rain wash away the morning heat, feeling the soothing wind wafting through the panes, smelling the scent of rain, and listening and singing along to my favourite playlist. It's so therapeutic.

Not to mention i did get work done today. I keep thinking about after-exams activities though. Friends i can't wait!

Staring at a maple leaf
Leaning on the mother tree
I said to myself we all lost touch
Your favorite fruit is chocolate covered cherries
And seedless watermelon ohhhh
Nothing from the ground is good enough
Body rise
Look what's over me

Oh Chariot your golden waves
Are walking down upon this face
Oh Chariot I’m singing out loud
To guide me
Give me your…
Strength

Remember seeking moon's rebirth
Rains made mirrors of the earth
The sun was just yellow energy
If there is a living promise land
Even over fields of sand
Seasons fill my body
Cover me
Bringing back
More than a memory