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listening to: "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5
feeling: fit ;)
I just went running with my sis at this vast field spot near our house for about 45 min and 20 min of walking. Well, I never realize running at night could feel so good! The lovely night scenery, the cooling night breeze, the sweet fresh air and the tranquility all blended so pleasantly into the atmosphere. Makes me feel like I own the world, even if the feeling was transient. But who cares if anything could last? It’s the process, that adrenalin rushing through your blood that makes everything worthwhile. Maybe everything created were meant to be faded in the end, but it’s the manufacturing part that is so memorable and meaningful, ain’t it?
Was supposed to meet meilin online but she coincidentally went running with her brother too! We are all finally getting fit these days huh? The last time i ran was the beginning of june. Actually I gotta thank my teammates for the team runs every Wednesday that developed my interest in running. Otherwise, I would have thought running at night with my sister and sacrificing my dreaming time is um, absurd.
The sense of achievement I was talking about in my previous post was the chocolate cake topped with mouth-watering fudge my teammates and I baked for huimin’s birthday! Absolutely gorgeous I tell you. Finally got the meaning of imperfect beauty in that context. Well I shall spare the details except to say that the cake was utterly delicious. We met up in the morning and blew balloons while waiting for the arrival of the birthday girl. Present presentation was sweet and what can I say? Feels so proud of my team. ;)
Baked a brownie and cut it in the shape of a C for char’s birthday on Friday as well. To my horror, on Friday morning, a quarter of the C was gone! Thanks to my sister. I was really raging with anger but when my sister sent a sms telling me she was really so hungry the night before she forgot my umpteen times to remind her, and that she was really sorry, my heart just softened la. I mean, I have only two good sisters and friends like Charlene are everywhere on the street, right? HAHAHA just kidding. ;)
Had an enjoyable time at island creamery with min, meilin and jill on Friday afternoon. I love the satisfying mudpie, refreshing soursop and the teh-tareky teh tarek ice cream! Went for Char’s birthday barbeque at her house at night which was really successful! I haven’t seen such a 69 gathering for long! Only five monkey juniors came but the entire company was fun. I think I had fun feeding everybody with freshly cooked food and going around taking photos. Hope char liked the smaller version of the C-shaped brownie I’ve trimmed baked with chips ahoy cookies and this huge C-shaped collage of pretty pink magazine pieces and photographs I’ve decorated for her!
I think forgive and forget is by far the hardest but greatest virtue. I’m still learning. Shall not talk about the gory details but yes, I realize the more I take care of something, the more it’ll be destroyed. Just, spare me the agony won’t you?
Saturday marked the end of my cip shifts at bishan. Char and I rewarded ourselves by watching Mean Girls. Yeah, it’s just another chick flick but I thought it was really entertaining and hilarious. Quite meaningful too and we have an eyecandy inside! In case anybody is as slow as me, the lead Lindsay lohan is one of the twins in Parent Trap! I didn’t know they grew up so fast. Pretty pretty!
I realize I have quite an eclectic taste for films. Maybe the styles of different movies have their unique appeal on me. Or maybe it’s just the mood. You know, sometimes you’re in for a highly crafted plot to boggle with your mind, or a fantasy-like background for a temporary getaway, visually stimulating graphics to satisfy your visual desires, a heart wrenching story to appeal to your emotions, somewhat a meaningful one for you to learn a thing or two, or simply a chick flick, a romantic comedy to laugh your time away.
Actually you can't compare. I've started a quite private blog that gradually turned public four years ago. Maybe having an online journal is indeed public, but it became a habit. You can't ask me why i choose to blog online. I find that quite difficult to answer. But indeed, i'm tired of being cryptic. Oh well, at least it is keeping my precious memories now.
Okay there’s something weird about me. People normally can’t sleep after running but I guess I’m all ready to sink into my bed already. Yay, movie with meilin and maybe emily tomorrow!
listening to: "Look What You've Done" by Jet
feeling: a sense of achievement (you'll see why soon)
This has been a really good break from block tests. Guess i wouldn't care much if i enjoyed myself far too much anyway. Stayed over at jess' house on sunday and danny missed me so much he kept hugging my leg and licking me! Never seen him like this before. (By the way, danny is jess' doggie) Our usual form of leisure was simply watching movies on her large plasma screen, occasionally indulging in packets after packets of junk food. Watched The Ring the english version and i felt it had a better, or rather, more comprehensible plot. It was really apt because we watched Scary Movie 3 after that which made quite a joke out of The Ring, as well as 8th Mile, Signs and The Others. Luckily, i watched all these movies before. By the way, it's funny how i found Scary Movie 1 too lame to be funny but Scary Movie 3 was so funny it made me laughed my head off at so many scenes. So much laughter i thought i was gonna die from a heart attack! Riggght. That morning we fell asleep at 4am in the company of music and stars that carried me through numerous nebulous dreams. So many i couldn't remember any and i woke up feeling utterly strange at her room. You know, those surrealistic sort of feeling. The rain thwarted our tanning plan and we were left eating till yuying and virn came for mahjong. I felt really grateful that we remained the same crazy us, still talking like before though we haven't quite met up like this for two years, laughing at yuying's silliness and all. We forsaked badminton for more mahjong and bridge instead. Guess our old doubles pairing has to be put off for a long while more.
I hate this. I keep typing stuff but i erase them. Somehow some things should be kept to myself, yet i will really like to venge them here. Like a sleeping volcano waiting to erupt but just can't find the right time you know?
Just wanted to remind myself that hey, i did a hat trick today! (OKAY FINE tyco!) Though i didn't know what was that at first. Soccer during pe was really fun, though it was an extremely hilarious messy sight watching us play.
By the way, senior promenade will be held at ritz carlton! How exciting, though i thought i was much more hyped up when i was still at st nicks.
Just like any other morning, i walked up to the upper deck of bus 86 and saw this girl decked in blue pinafore, sitting at my usual seat in front, with her badminton racket and book placed neatly at the space in front, snoozing away as the bus rumbled on. And i was like hey, wasn't that me just two years ago? I wish i was still wearing that uniform somehow. We keep saying time flies but we never tasted the true realization till we really feel old. Albeit the fact that i find myself still quite young at heart. HAHA. But guess what, i'm happier this way.
I do look back and dwell in the past sometimes, i admit, but i do know how to live for the moment. Sometimes being too obssessed with your future will only bring back haunting emptiness in retrospect, you get what i mean? Or maybe i'm just trying to tell myself that i'm okay with who i am. Whatsoever. You can't change me. Nor do i ever believe i have the power to change anybody i ain't affectionately close to so drastically. I choose to think your mind is playing tricks with you. Or you've been trying to convince yourself too much. You know how you think things are like that because that's what you keep forcing your mind to tell you, but reality may just be the opposite? I know, coz i've been through this.
Thursday marked the near end of the much dreaded block tests. Went to cut hair with emily and meilin and after that, we sat and chatted and laughed like mad women at wisma coffee club express! For say, three hours? It's really relaxing and pleasant just chilling out there and talking about everything under the sun. And i mean, everything under the sun. *grins* Basically it was the company that made the afternoon perfect. I found it quite amazing that i could find such good friends in jc, the kind that i feel so comfortable with. Not forgetting my teammates!
Friday was physics practical and many of the class people went maxwell for lunch after that. It's been so long since we ate out together. Anyways, i love the guo tie! *slurps* Then char and adder had to go and the stupid guys who were supposed to join eline, lilian and i in ktv-ing decided to go SHOPPING. Hmmms, i see the gradual switch in gender roles. Anyways, we had this 5 hours free voucher and we sang four hours straight! It was great fun mouthing the same lyrics and singing our hearts out. Though i decided that singing for too long can be really draining. ;)
Saturday morning was spent at bishan with lilian and char doing cip. We met many kind hearted people who generously bought items from us, like my junior michael who donated ten bucks! *huge smile* We amazingly collected two hundred and sixty three bucks worth of funds in a short span of four hours. Cool huh?
Had an impromptu dinner with boon and chel at night. We decided that impromptu stuff are the best. ;) Boon decided not to go for the party anymore and settled for a pleasant and lovely night with us two. But of course. We ate at marche for dinner and decided we should relive our good ol' past time and take neoprints! Though it was quite embarrassing since we felt a little old for it. And we started screaming and being high and excited coz we didn't know how to operate the machines very well. Hahaha. The neoprints turned out quite nice though. We then had dessert at coffee club express at paragon. The ambience was different from the one at wisma! The muddy mud pie was.. absolutely brilliantly delightful with mountainous heaps of oreo crumbs! (okayy, i exaggerated a little) We sat there reminiscing about the silly old times and laughed like crazy, spoiling the nice quiet ambience there. :/ I felt as though we were old. No longer into those teenage cheesy girly stuff and what have you, but laughing about the days we were silly and the embarrassing things we did. Like we saw each other through our growing up period and the stepping into adulthood.
It feels funny nearing the time when you have to choose a future path you desire. I feel aimless and lost in a way. Somehow, i'd rather be sweet seventeen all over again, being all crazy and excited and not having to bear the responsibilities coming your way. I know i know, i'm being too impractical and dreamy again. I think i'm more suited for a simple life. I keep slipping off the fast track of life. I wish everybody have more time to stop and sniff a flower or two, gaze at the beautiful sky or sit down and sip a cup of coffee or two with good company. Not too much to ask for, right?
When the pale moon shimmers
my vague dreams waver
on the pavement where pale yellow light spills
like emotions hard to conceal
And poignant music flows -
the echo of my soul.
Dreams like birds wander far
Yet sometimes they scatter
Into shards of iridescent pieces
Beautiful but tragic.
And so I keep my eyes shut
Once more.
It's been so long since i'm here! So i decided to put an entry here to remind myself of these few days. Where this temporary world of mine consists of bubble tea, snacks, bishan and mainly, heaps and heaps of notes! Frankly, i'm running out of time. :( Thank goodness i have people like meilin, chel and boon to keep me sane when i'm on the brink of going bonkers. Boon is seriously mad! She kept fantasizing.. about FOOD! Haha. We went shopping for a few times these days *oops* and i finally bought a hollister co skirt! Yippee! Didn't know they sell their stuff here in singapore. I love hollister co! ;)
There's really nothing to talk about now. No more missing, nor pain, nor swirling emotions that used to cling on to me at nights. Or any dreams that left me craving for more bits of those surreal beauty. Funny how the more you can't get something, the more you want it. Till you finally have it then you realise, perhaps, it isnt so important after all.
I don't know, but i do believe in astrology. There are so many things said about Geminians that i find so true. Like we think a lot, we enjoy varieties, we're terribly scared of loneliness, have many different characters, expect and dream a lot. Sometimes reading stuff that makes you discover something about yourself is pretty cool.
I really love this song, especially the lyrics.
"Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Went back to study at st nicks with boonie, sa, sin and the guides people. It felt really good to be back at the high-ceiling, airy, sunshiney and cheery canteen, amidst other several old girls who came back to study too. Guess it's still st nicks girls' favourite spot to study! And i gotta drink uncle mobeen's iced milo and our ol' time fave yu pian mian xian! I simply love st nicks, can't you tell? Like there's always a place for me, somewhere i belong. Morever, this is where i grew up and lived through various stages in my life, where memories unfold and bring tears and smiles to my face, where friendships were forged and strengthened through experiences and trials. Love everything here. From the dynamism and strong spirit, to the track and the hockey pitch, the sunken forum and the science labs, the hall and the classrooms, the toilets and the roof garden, drama studio, dance studio, spec stands, to the teachers and the vendors, to people i love so dearly. We all agree that it's a truly precious experience we'll remember for life! I'm just so thankful i came here. ;)
So, as usual, sa made boon and i laughed till we nearly died! Miss all her silly and lame behaviours, well, basically just having her and sin around. I wonder if the "cursed" letter that we put under the carpet at our sec 3 classroom is still there. Hee.
"Everytime" by Britney Spears
Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me
Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away
Ivy's church megagames ended last night with a smashing good bang! My group consisting of belinda, ivy, dino, meilin and i was really enthusiastic right from the beginning. We were running all about under the sun! The first stop was The Black Hole, where we had to go inside this scary and dark tunnel at buona vista mrt station where at the end stood this candlelight, barely enough to shine light on every part of the tunnel. We were supposed to get a piece of our own jigsaw puzzle each time but alas, we lost due to our sheer luck in scissors paper stone. Still, we remained high spirited and our next stop, Makan Sutra, was satisfying! We blindfolded our leader and made her order the chosen food and we were rushing through our lunch. Crossword puzzle was a fast job done! And the chocolate roti prata was yummy too. Well, i can't believe we ran all the way to our next stop where Fear Factor was held. I didn't touch the frogs but ate a whole load of bittergourd which tasted like tasteless jambu so it wasn't that bad.
Played CSI (crime scene investigation) after that which was really exciting and ming boggling! The "suspects" we interrogated around holland village really did a good job in bringing out their own characters. Till now, i couldnt help but laugh and shake my head whenever i remember our weird grp member, dino, asking one of the suspect Can i ask you a sensitive question? Did you have sex with yuhang? MY! Meilin and i ran away upon hearing that! Totally weird and irrelevant hee. And he sort of somersaulted down the railing while we were all running along the normal, human path. Erps. But apart from that, he's quite nice as he looked around everywhere for water and ice when poor meilin fell down. She felt faint for a while! Luckily she was alright after a while and we continued our last stop, Eighth World Wonder where simple memory games were played.
And haha, we practically said our SHINE cheer at almost every stop. *hides face* Well, well, we wont the most enthusiastic group award! After we came back, it was dinner time and the concert was highly entertaining! There were sharing, song sessions and skits as well as the video that revealed the truth for the CSI game. The host was really good and funny and cute! ;) Meilin went TOO high during the where is the love rap and she was happily rapping along with this funny guy, making all the rapper poses. Me? I hid my face and sat down as far away from her as possible in horror. Hahaha. Well, i think the church people were really welcoming and warm yesterday. The song sessions made me miss being a convent girl, singing all the hymns, locking arms and swaying along to the lovely soothing music. Really gotta thank all of them for being so funny and bringing the night to a high. It was a tiring day, nevertheless. ;)
And ivy is really really cool. She's not just our dear badminton captain. She sings, composes, plays piano and guitar for the church, and she's the entire YF leader! Not to forget she's a person of GREAT personality and looks! Okay, okay, i shouldnt sound too much like i'm in love with her over here.
listening to: "One Last Cry" by Brian Mcknight
feeling: tired
YAY! Finally got to lay my hand on a badminton racket today. Jillian, meilin and i joined the junior guys for training at ajc today. Well, initially, i was really drained from laughing so much at how stupid jillian's and my shots turned out to be. Luckily we got the hang of it later on. I miss playing badminton! And ummm, working my bones out.
I realise sinking into a depression is a vicious cycle. Or circle. I forgot what mr koh taught us. Once you start getting depressed, you snap and sulk at everybody coming your way. People stay out of your way hoping your mood gets better but paranoia gets the better of you. You start thinking nobody gives a damn just because nobody talks to you. And you sink in deeper. But you never realise that people out there still wonder and care though you can't feel it. They don't have to be the ones taking action. Like min once told me, you don't know who's falling in love with your smile. And i guess being happy isnt all about having everything you want, but making the best out of everything you have. I think it's easier said than done especially since depression is a curse hard to break, but love from people around you is a blessing. I get silly all the times but i do try, and so should you. :)
I hope i make sense.
I really don't know. Of late, I realise i would rather keep everything to myself than scribble some unfathomable descriptions of my thoughts and feelings in this virtual world of mine. I think gradually, i won't need it as a venue for frustrations anymore. It's quite tiring having to be cryptic. It will be useless to keep this anymore since it doesn't capture the essence of my present life. Somehow, it's just churning out frivolous matters and probably stuff safe-to-read.
Or maybe i have grown more optimistic and "stoic" as sherrina used to call me. That probably some matters don't bother me as much as they used to anymore. Self negativity had left me, depression is a rare attack, probably the aspect of me still problematic is my over-sensitivity. Seems as though i encounter less problems now, yet perhaps it's just all escapism. I indulge more in my pursuit for ideals and perfection in life rather than being practical. I live in the past, not the present. I'm afraid of the day when i'm finally awakened, i'll find myself horribly empty.
Hmmms, i have weird random thoughts. I think i think too much.
listening to: "On Bended Knees" by Boyz || Men
feeling: foolish
Was it just me?
Can we go back to the days when our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
They way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knees
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knees
listening to: "You're The Inspiration" by Chicago
feeling: strange
Hahaha! Am choosing english names for szuyu online and i thought Spastic Lin or Solid Lin are suitable! Hahaha she wanted Sexy Lin or Smooth Lin instead. :D Smelly will be great!! Okay la seriously i think Kayleigh is a cool and pretty name. I want to call my daughter that! And my son probably Justin or Ethan or something. By the way the most popular name for babies in year 2003 were Jacob and Emily. Haha. Erm, of course that will be if i ever get married.
Oh after sending szuyu off, kai, kangwei, charmian and i went to the macs at tampines mall for breakfast. Thanks to them, my terrible feeling kind of cleared up a lot. We had a great time there catching up, talking and laughing about everything under the sun. Unknowingly, we had been there for three hours plus! It really felt so good to be able to connect to people you hardly see anymore. I hope the sentosa outing on this coming thursday will turn out fun yeah?
By the way after tampines mall, i went home to blog (the terrible feeling returned sigh) and around 3/4 pm, i fell asleep (with a few short waking ups) till 8 am this morning! Although i only slept one hour the day before, i thought this sleep had been a tad too long and erm, quite amazing huh? :/
I really gonna save up like crazy and visit szuyu in america! Though i think it can take me ten years or something. But i guess i'm pretty much fine now, though i still miss her loads! :/ Thanks huimin. (sorry i didnt reply coz *coughs* i was uhh sleeping..)
Baby, You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me say it
No one needs you more than I need you
My friend, you are too busy. I wanted so much to give you a last hug before you checked in but too many people blurred my vision. It's been so long since we've last met. I have so much more to say to you. So many more things we haven’t done together. How could you leave as you please?
Weird. Inexplicably weird. In contrary to what I have expected, I shed not a tear as I watched szuyu’s back view gradually disappear. Kai and I went to the viewing mall to wait for the plane to take flight. I just felt weird. Not even a tinge of sorrow, but more like szuyu’s migration seemed so surreal and unbelievable that the fact just refused to sink in. The feeling was really dreadful. Somehow it just seemed as though she’s away for vacation. We kept having to convince ourselves that this could be the last time we’ll ever see her again. Not just any other her. But a special friend who holds such an important place in my heart. We stood there and wait. We didn’t exchange any words or glances. The silence was deafening. Everything was still but our minds were swirling in a convoluted mess. The memories of us activating a rush of nostalgia, the countless attempts to imagine without having szuyu around, and pictures of uncertain future attacked my mind almost simultaneously. Suddenly the plane rumbled and started moving, breaking my thoughts. An overwhelming sense of loss began to gnaw at my soul. Is this really it? She’s leaving me with so much words unsaid and things undone? I kept wishing the plane would stop. I panicked and I screamed in silent torture. Szuyu, don’t go! But the plane moved on. And then I felt the tear beads rolling down my cheeks.
It’s so hard. Reality can be so hard.
What more, she was born in Taiwan and her relatives are there. Her parents have no reason to come back to Singapore at all. The feeling i'm experiencing now is unbearable. Very aching. Like my heart's wrenched into dead knots. I wish i could cry out loud. But i just couldn't.
I rushed the whole night with only one hour of sleep trying to finish her present and letter. But how could six years of genuine friendship be summarized in a mere box of hearts and dried flowers, stars and more, with a collection of memories and heartfelt words? Yet I must be thankful you came along after all and beautified my garden of life. For all the laughter and joy you’ve brought me, the times you’ve saw me through and stood by me, ever ready to listen, to give a helping hand, to brighten up my day with your presence, for showing me what is friendship, I love you my friend. No matter how much you'll change, how far we are apart, however hard times can be, anytime you need me, i'm just a phonecall away.
I didn't know it's so hard to let you go. Gosh, it will be really tough missing you.
Took this somewhere.
Search not for me,
for I never existed...
Long for me not,
for I am not worthy of love.
Think of me in the spring,
And remember me when you hear the thunder...
In the wind you may listen,
for my voice to call your name...
And when lightning dances,
you shall see my love playing among the clouds...
Call to the night for me,
and you shall feel me in the breeze upon your face...
Ask the night of me,
and it shall tell you naught but emptiness...
I go to embrace my destiny,
and rest my tired mind and heart...
I ask only,
that you remember...
listening to: "When I See You Smile" by Boyz || Men
feeling: cranky
Someone, lend me your self discipline for a month. Someone else, your determination and drive. I can't carry on like this. Reading a few pages of maths notes before succumbing to an entire day of sleep, food and tv. Sigh.
Kai's cracking me up like crazy! I told her i have make-up lesson tomorrow and..
[kai]~ says:
u mean make-up lesson?...
[kai]~ says:
as in teach pple how ta make up?
Haha that girl. Huimin's cracking me up like mad too! Ahhhh, i'm going crazy talking to both of them! Hahaha. And now, lide!! =) Yay, the photos taken with boon and chel on my birthday turned out really nice! =)
Funny how you wish some people would try to understand you more in depth and read you like a book but they never did. It's often those who hardly cross your mind and wish you didn't cross theirs too.
I'm a nasty nasty person. =(
listening to: "Wouldn't It Be Nice" by Beach Boys
feeling: crap
A new layout! Took quite a long time doing this. It's quite amazing that i've used the keith richard one for so long considering the fact that i change my layouts often. I like that one a lot! Was contemplating whether to change layout but oh wells, it's time to move on yeah? I think i need to prepare myself into another phase of my life, whether i like it or not.
"Wouldn't It Be Nice" by Beach Boys
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know it's gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we thinkin' and wishin' and hopin' and prayin'
It might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But let's talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
Good night baby
Sleep tight baby
listening to: "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel
feeling: dashes of infatuation
Had team dinner at marche! Took a lot of photos which i hope turn out right. But firstly, i gotta install the cd in my computer but i'll probably screw up everything. :/ I love my new phone! Though the resolution aint really good, there's camera flashes, continuous shots, zooms and frames that make photos look like neoprints. Yet i feel so bad to my sisters. :/ Anyway, poor jillian had a terrible stomach ache after we finished our dinner and she was inside the toilet for say, half an hour! Poor partner. Hope you are perfectly fine now! :) We ain't partners for nothing. Hee, we both wore pink while the rest wore black! She wore the top that ivy and cheng shared and the skirt that meilin and i bought for her birthday. While i wore the pink top ivy gave me, plus the clip and handbag from jillian. :) After dinner, ivy, huimin, meilin, chengwei, tzephern, joshua and i made our way to coffee bean for a short chat. We took funny photos of the silly boys! Whee, really hope i can upload everything soon. Yay, i've always wanted to capture all the sights and sounds around me! To keep memories and reminisce in the future. Okay i know i sound like a swa gu person but never mind.
Told myself i'll just play all i want this week and start work and catch up from next week onwards. I really hope i can do it. :/
Damn. It feels as though the night is still young when dawn is already making its way here in a few hours time. Splendid! It is going to rain soon. I just can't put myself to sleep. The drips of nightfall beckons to me. Night just seem to exude its mysterious charm on me and i am lured into its majesty. My emotions unfold and my heart bared. It just seems to untie knots in the heart and give unfathomable thoughts simplicity. Do i make sense? However, in these few hours of darkness that are to come, i shall not think. Let me enjoy the night. And not face the strange thoughts that kept swirling inside my mind. I might just crumble.
Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defences
Helpless to resist the notes I write
For i compose the Music of the Night
I turned eighteen, finally, on a birthday no others i had spent could compare to. So many mixed emotions came unleashing themselves on me as the day unraveled itself into bits and pieces of moments etched in my mind.
It started when i first came to school. I was daydreaming as usual at the class bench when i heard a bunch of people springing from behind singing the birthday song. I turned around slowly to see the same familiar faces i've missed seeing together so very often, radiating smiles of happiness for me as they seemed. My lovely badminton teammates! They bought me this yummy tiramisu cake from sweet secrets and erm, meilin forgot the lighter so we pretended there was a candle flame and “blew” it. Haha, the silly things we do. Then they presented their gifts one by one to me. I was the lucky one to receive five individual presents from the five of them! =) And they all wrote me something. Every single one of them were so sweet and made such efforts I couldn’t help but was moved to tears right in front of everybody. Sigh. Who can deny I have the most wonderful team on earth?
Another part of the day worth mentioning was that I received a lot of birthday smses and some came from people whom I thought had forgotten me or my birthday, in a way or other. While some made efforts to send me messages at exactly twelve, one tried to be creative by sending it 18 min earlier. *hahaha* While some remembered my birthday all these years although I rarely see them anymore.
While the rest of the day was spent troubling people to help my carry my presents! Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. I received so many presents I was at a loss of what to say. Ahhhh, so touched. :) Totally unexpected. My form teacher was being nice too. After school. the lack of sleep and mental exhaustion from all the emotional highs deemed me unfit to join the class girls at pizza hut so I decided to go home. I looked really comical loading the presents into bus 156 and when I finally reached compass point, I had to take a cab home! How embarrassing. But how loved one can imagine I had felt. Not just the quantity of course, but the thought that people remember you and bother to give you something just to make your day.
Went chel’s house and got ready for the rouge party. We ate dinner at nydc and the baked rice and mudpie were delightful! We then waited outside rouge for say, one hour, while boon’s friend, alex, joined us. The organizers were really slow and inefficient and we still couldnt get in though one of them (boon's friend) promised us a table at the exclusive room coz it’s my birthday! We then decided to go ms and a friend joined us while we tried making decisions for a really long time. Decided on double o but we accidentally went into the o bar instead! Haha, but surprisingly we had quite a fun time there! They made a birthday dedication through the dj! Chrystle and her bf were there too and she was really nice and all, offering us his car to put our bags and taking care of us in a way for a while. They all sang birthday song for me outside the place! *hides face* This made the fifth song of the day! :)
Went home after staying over at chel's house. Sorry girls didn’t eat breakfast with you all. My elder sis gave me the present she shared with 2nd sis which was wrapped up nicely on the surface with layers and layers of newspaper beneath. There was a note on the box with some sweet stuff and hints on what the present was. 1. I will need it in the toilet too. 2. I will feel lost without it. 3. it can be used as an exercise equipment. My, can you believe it, it’s the LG camera phone! Ahhhhhh, I felt so touched, excited yet guilty at the same time! Gosh, they must have spent a lot for me. :/
Met alan, lilian and charb in the afternoon at Lao Beijing at PS for the dim sum buffet. Thanks alan for the treat! I promise I wont niao you for the rest of the day. Wowee, it’s gonna be midnight soon! *haha*
Thank you to these people for their bday sms (in order of time of message):
guan how, vernon, huimin, bernard, charlene, lilian, sinhui, zsing, vivien, jillian, virnice, pris, ailian, miche, seow hong, boonie, sandy, shuqi, wenhooi, alex, alan, dacia, meilin, huihui, er jie, sherrina, lina, marcus, yongteng, da jie, zherui, kelvin and cheeyang. =)
And to these people for their wonderful gifts:
03S69: for the MNG purple top
ailian, wenhooi and viv: for the yummy assorted cakes
ah men and shan: for the funky loopy earrings
daddy and char: for the bear, dad's sweet msg and erm, the colorful thong
in a bottle
bernard: for the pretty babysweet windchime and the corny yet sweet capsule bottle filled with invisible ingredients of wishes and happiness
zsing: for the cute-like-me rabbit
charb: for the star-shaped bottle filled with stars and a nice
dreamcatcher
alan: for the scrumptious dim sum buffet treat!
lilian: for the beeeg blue hippo you shared with sinhui, plus a big
container of self-made star-shaped cookies, 2 sachets of my fave green
tea, a choc yogurt bar, a chip&dale towel and 2 pretty pink star-shaped
candles. Plus this really funny yet sweet letter!
sinhui: for the beeg blue hippo and the sweet precious moments photo
album i've always wanted!
HCBT
chengwei: for the extremely pretty starry file and a beautiful purple
box containing marks and spencers sweets and teacakes wrapped in purple
foil, purple toothpaste, purple straws, purple rubber
bands, purple folded stars, a sweet pencil box and an envelope containing
VERY pretty printed pictures and a sweeeeeet looooong letter that almost brought
me to tears (girl, as u said, it's all the small things, but it's the little
details in life that make it interesting!)
meilin: for the very cute hcbt card and the purple starry cushion =)
huimin: for the wooden box with two sides showing a starry beary
background filled with pink sand and beads, with an extremely heartwarming, long
message written on it (on the verge of tears again!), while inside is this long black
tube and peekaboo, you see a glowing star inside! (fine la, highly
intelligent lor..)
ivy: for the sweet pink top and a letter that makes me smile!
jillian: for the pretty glittery handbag and cool orange hairclip, plus
this purple self-made card done with improved art skills! i almost cried,
for you said things so sweet i wouldnt have known or expected. Yet it was funny i had to
laugh! (cant stop niaoing me huh)
Thank goodness i didnt read their notes while they presented their gifts to me.
I would have cried much much more than i did!
boon and chel: for the pretty roxy handbag you guys wanted for
yourselves! *too bad* and of course the company for the night and the pretty
butterfly card!
my wonderful sisters: for the LG camera phone (oh man!)
My heartfelt gratitude to those i couldnt meet on friday to receive your presents too, like nelson, lide and marcus. And to those who had wished me. =) Sorry if i left out anybody.
Never mind if anybody fell asleep reading this. When i stumble back here in the future, i will be reminded of how much my heart was warmed on my eighteenth birthday. What have i done to deserve such blessings? All I know for sure is that I have so much to be thankful for. I think I’ve almost cried a dozen times and thanked here and there a million times. It's so hard for me. You see, it's so much easier to be on the giving end than the receiving end. This entry is dedicated to all those wonderful people who love me. And i love them back. With all my heart and soul.