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succumbed to crumbs of my fantasy
171001
today was abt to go home when have to stay back for badminton. marked the field, damn damn hot, i sort of got dehydrated anyways. just realised kangwei mian n me can form the primary kids gang. ahaha. the goal posts were surprisingly light. aluminium i suppose. damn. after exams couldnt help applying them into our daily lives. ahaha. AH-tticus.
she think she's so **cking chio. pls.
blue house had meeting till quite late. n... am i just a spare part for pple when their other friends are not there? pls, pls gif me a break. i'm really tired from all this. i'm human too. i haf feelings.
maybe my tears just arent worth anything yeah?
It's over and done
but the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging to instead of me tonight?
And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion that's taken me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Dont you know there's nobody left in this world
to hold me tight
Dont cha know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
you are still so mean to me. cant even stare into my eyes.
121001
yay. microsoft photodrawer is damn good. can do anything to own picture.
i dun understand when pple need help from u they go rushing to you n treats u so nicely. but when u need help,they turn their backs on u. i was just asking for some book. pissed.
i not born to be her tool for listening to her problems n gifing her advices. n den i say some lil thing n she'll just never reply. i dun like to be used.
111001
how fast time flies. just finished lit. came home so early just tot i'd just read Herworld. felt so sorry for the women. one had sex wif her husband and he injects sharp things into her... the other one is worse. her husband was erms impotent and he tried to satisfy his desires by bringing a man home each week and made his wife and the man haf sex n he stand aside to watch....
right after exams, think i'll change layout. my layouts are getting so boring. glad that frontpage is so incredible, i learnt some basic html there. coz there's the actual working page, the html page and the preview. heh.
i realise its quite sad that sometimes she speaks n nobody reallie bothered, even i am quite mean to her. i mean, nobody feels anything or what, but i just feels like she's hanging on to something she dun reallie like or dun really belong to her.
i gonna die man. i think i studied harder for common tests than exams. anyways, i regret starting from last year early december. shouldnt have. still having dreams. fantacise too much. cant let go. to sth i never had. still suffering. cant even concentrate sleeping or studying. fucking up my life. damn.
dreams are cruel. they lift you up to the sky and throws u back to the ground. the beautiful dreams are GONE but the truth REMAINS.
071001
what am i doing here?? its gonna be 3 am n i shld be sleeping or studying rite... i dunno. i cant get those oil palm crap inside my head...=( but to think tt after exams u can enjoy, i must be like what i rote in my chinese compo, must taste the bitter before u can feel the sweet. heh.
to kill a mockingbird sorta made me realise something. we condem miss gates n merriweather for being such hypocrites, blind to their own racial hatred in the society. arent we doing to same? arent we also hypocrites? we often condemn someone w/o knowing tt it is prejudice.
"u'll never really understand someone until u consider things from his pt of view", how true. how often do we actually climb into others' skin n walked ard in it? it sounds so easy, but pple often forget to do tt. i feel very guilty when i think of times when i dun understand somebody, and condemn him/her, n when i put myself into his/her shoes, i understand everything. why didnt anybody try climbing into my skin n walk ard in it? how does it feel like when u're down but pple think its just one of ur mood swings? how does it feel like when all the things u wish for tt has yet to show up? how does it feel like when pple pay so less attention to what u have to say n pays full attention to others? how does it feel when pple cum to u because of a motive, not outta true frenship n love? how does it feel like when pple just get so darn bored wif u?how does it feel when you're stuck in a moment u cant get out of?
u're just a dreamboat sailing in my head
u swim my secret oceans of coral blue n red
it's only when i sleep, c u in my dreams
got me spinning round n round, turning upside down
n when i wake from slumber
ur shadow's disappeared
ur breath is just a sea mist
surrounding my body
it took all my strength, just not to fall apart
i'm trying hard to mend the pieces, of my broken heart
i spend oh so many nights, just feeling sorry for myself
i love ur eyes but they stare blankly at me
011001
happy children's day! esp to people like aileen, rachel, szuyu, and sandy... hahahaha~ anyways my site is not really say, done. its sort of under construction coz i gotta study fer exams. oh yeah n i y did i go do tt "under-construction site"? i dunno...
suddenly my childhood memory came rushing to my mind today. i had a wish since i was young. that was to have a good friend whom i share my joy, my problems, my joy with. it was such a simple wish. i didnt ask for more. so sad to say till now, my wish hasnt come true. i only live once, i only have one school life. and i had to worry whether anybody bothered about me. i'm a weird person. over-sensitive + silliness + self-pity. i dunno y i liked to fuck up my life so much. with all of these and some of that and x. =(
they said on the mooncake festival day, the moon will be so bright and beautiful. its true. there was once i saw it was orange. wow. and they said if u make a wish, it will come true. wonder if this wish gonna be unfulfilled again. maybe it only applies to people who are good.
300901
it’s getting so lonely inside this bed
don’t know if I should lick my wounds or say 'woe is me' instead
and there’s an aching inside my head
it’s telling me you're better off alone
after midnight
morning will come
and the day will see
if you will get some
they say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough
well it’s 'til I turn off the light, turn off the light
they say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough
well it’s 'til I turn off the light, turn off the light
and I say follow me follow me follow me down down down down
til you see all my dreams
not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems
i’m searching for things that I just cannot see
why don’t you don’t you don’t you come and be with me
i pretend to be cool with me, want to believe
that I can do it on my own without my heart on my sleeve
i’m running, I’m running, catch up with me life
Where is the love that I’m looking to find
it’s all in me, can’t you see
why can't you, why can’t you see it’s all in me
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