x.x; wakannai

Today I have felt like I am smarter than everyone by a lot. x.x; I've been grasping concepts as soon as people say something, and they just explain and bluster on, and I just nodm cuz I feel guilty to tell them that I got it ten minutes ago. It's rally weird, especially since I'm tired. x.x It's /weird/.

Hm. I heart Jaina. A lot. ^_^

I need to redo my blog. AND I HAVE TO CLEAN BEFORE MY MOM GETS HERE. Argh. Affirmation CD rules. Mm, angst.

I think I idealize angst and desperation and sad, hopeless romantic feelings. ^_^ I really do. Is that terrible? But I adore the catharsis. It's like taking a shower; it makes me feel so clean and pure and strong, and gives me so much hope.

I am a freak. x.x;

Yes, yes, I am.

-J

"The Lover After Me" / Savage Garden / Affirmation
Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same
It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway
So this is my new freedom
It's funny
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late

And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you

Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
But I'm standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

forever begins today at 10:04 p.m., Tuesday, February 18, 2003

v-day woes

So a. my car now has no brakes and b. sigh.

Anthony is very pleasant company. It is remarkably pleasing to talk to someone who has different views than me and can actually argue and make a point without raising his voice.

It is very very late.

V-day was uneventful. I discovered that I strongly dislike ungrateful behavior. Warcraft 3 is fun. I am a geek, albeit an English one. Sigh.

I've started bleeding noticeably less and less on my periods. Maybe I have an ovarian cyst. Maybe I should go to the doctor's before I die. I made an appointment sort of with the optometrist though. Go me.

Booze is tasty.

I think I may have a new blog pic, though it is different from the one I wanna scan.

We'll see.

-J
btw, gas is something like 167.9, which is crazy.

this is an oldie but goodie XD

on sale

those after-Valentines valentines are mine
50% off tags lacing their shelves
forgotten, forlorn on Valentine's Day
alone with naught but our bittersweet selves

perhaps we're kindred, them and i
neglected by those with gleaming eyes
deserving love, yet more than that,
receiving only lost good-byes

and so i take some, quite intent
on eating away my V-day woes
fending off what I fear most
my heart's imagined or real life foes

forever begins today at 02:39 a.m., Saturday, February 15, 2003

slackbuster

Jess definitely seems to cause more damage to my car in the few times she drives it than all the driving I've ever done in my life... is it really all her bad luck? x.x

She just called with a flat tire. x.x Sigh.

Off to chorale soon, gotta get cookie dough! O_O

-J

forever begins today at 03:21 p.m., Thursday, February 13, 2003

VS denied

So it seems as if I am going to get new glasses...! As soon as I get my prescription for them... :p And I need another dentist appointment... and a physical... soon...

In other news, sex0red Tati called today. Poor dear.

I'm hungry. I think I should go to bed before I am overwhelmed by starvation.

In other news, yay.

Gotta get up early to wrest my Vicky See's package from LaDonna... grrr...

-J

forever begins today at 11:37 p.m., Tuesday, February 11, 2003

thoughts of a child

Someone is checking my blog from my computer that is not me... *suspicious eyes* Which leaves very few suspects... cuz I certainly didn't check my blog from my compie today, yet I have two hits from myself... hmmm...

OMG so tired.

Had nice long D&D (hahaha) chat with Dawn today, 9-12. XD Yup. We were there that long. Gotta restart Fallen. I hope we do for real too. :p Also came up with a reworking of an idea for a story for my thesis project...

Girl. Roommate. Love Interest. Girl needs money. Artist Roommate suggests nude modeling. Of course Love Interest is in the drawing class. Awkwardness ensues. This is all I have come up with so far. I dunno, I may have to use it for the first idea.

I saw about ten military humvees pass me on 202 going the other way. One had a headlight out. It made me sad and cold. Not the headlight.

I don't know necessarily that I want to be a great writer. Too much pressure. I think I'll settle for a more than sub-standard writer. Comparatively, I think I may have a chance.

I think I may for my own interests continue my story on souls. It amused me and entertained me, but it may be too juvenile. Perhaps I will get a second opinion. I need to proof Anna's story. I would like to do it by hand. We'll see.

It is difficult to deal with Josiah. I do not know what to do. I am at a loss for both words and actions.

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty,-- that is all/Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

I need a boyfriend for Valentine's Day. Any volunteers? I'll be your girlfriend for White Day... No? Aww...

-J

forever begins today at 12:24 a.m., Monday, February 10, 2003

yay RO shift

Nice warm baths are good.

Today I had my first real assigned RO shift ever. Hm. Went pretty good. 03 wouldn't start, but it was fixed. Backed in a friggin ton of field trip buses. Grr. Was a PAIN. Had severe PMS in the one hour that I was being teased, then reverted to manic mode, as per usual. Ehn. Went to Anthony's potluck, was mildly overwhelmed by the amount of people, attempted social interactions, possibly failed, gossiped with Andrea, punched Jason repeatedly (XD), and petted certain large kitties. Halve the people and I would have had much more fun. ^^;; BUT I'M SELFISH SO IT'S OKAY.

Warcraft 3 pwnz me. Sad. I mad suxx0r. Sniff. It takes forever for me to learn how to play a game, and usually it's by watching, not playing. Maybe I should make An to the Thony play so I can watch. x.x That's how I learned starcraft... x.x;

In any case, I need to sleep so I don't pass out so I can go to JCPenney tomorrow and make us all beautiful. ^_^ Yay.

-J

forever begins today at 12:59 a.m., Sunday, February 9, 2003

ae bf 1

I find that if I read something intensely for a long time, the book world colors the real world very vividly. It gets confusing, because I expect people to say something that would relate to the world where my head is, but instead it's always trivial and mundane. It puzzles me.

So my truly exciting news of the day was driving a 40 foot bus on unplowed slippery snowy roads, offroading on time when I lost control before Hampshire College, and nearly colliding with a telephone pole the second time by South East Street. Mm, death. My next most exciting news was the fact that I bought a jean jacket that's long and pretty with detachable ugly fur :D, a nice warm snowflake sweater, and a shirt of stretchy shiny material with... patterns... on it. x.x I LIKE THEM. And a thong. XD I figured since I have so many pants that require no panty lines... and it was just a dollar... well, why not?

I guess I'm easy to please. ^^;;

But my mostest exciting news of today is I got that back issue I've been lusting for and contemplating purchasing online... ^^;;; Oro... I'm SO bad... it's Meta's fault, I swear.

So we wait for my Victoria's Secret package...

Perhaps I should go do some layout work, seeing as I'm definitely not doing anything useful. I mostly finished Beowulf and did finish the book for women writers... That leaves all my astronomy reading (yeah right), and my psych reading, but for that I have no yet bought the book. Or my proposal. Aaaahhh!!! I'm slacking!! I need word to write it in!! Come back Microsoft Office!! I need yooouuu!!

I guess I'll do it at work tomorrow. One hour of parking buses, 7 hours of RO pay. Supposdly. We'll see, I guess. Then Anthony's potluck. I guess I should devise a dessert to bring before then... O.o; Hm.

Okay, Meta's IMing a mile a minute. XD gtg cya

-J

forever begins today at 10:35 p.m., Friday, February 7, 2003

hmmmm... :p

I seem to frequently find myself in a place where there are three people, and that I am the one sitting in the back, listening and wondering. It always strikes me how completely comfortable the other two people are with each other, and how alienated I am from either of them at this time and from both. It's a strange feeling. It rarely happens with more than two people, but when it does, it's even stranger. New places don't frighten me so much as they used to, but they seem rather to make me stand-offish or uncomfortable. I don't think I'm weird in this.

The RO meeting was tonight. It was kind of long, and a basic reiteration of everything before. It made me sleepy, therefore I am going to bed soon.

I neglected to mention that there were no new comics in today. It seems that I must go elsewhere to achieve my goals.

-me

forever begins today at 07:56 p.m., Wednesday, February 5, 2003

ponderances

So listening to myself is always a little terrible and terrifying. Self-reflection is not such a big deal because lying to myself is mad easy. However, seeing myself in pictures, movies, or hearing myself recorded is pretty yucky. I think there's a part where you can hear me in the chorale CD... x.x This is no good at all.

New comics tomorrow.

-J

forever begins today at 10:49 p.m., Tuesday, February 4, 2003

NEW COMPIE

Yay!!! New computer, special thanks to Anthony!! He gets an A plus, plus A... dinner! hahahahah shoot me. x.x Anyway, it's all fast and stuff. It took a lot of reformatting and fiddling and switching to Win2k (bleh), but it's all werky now, and fast and happy. Plus it looks neat.

I also obtained a tablet for the purpose of photoshopping with it (my hand/mouse coordination is teh suq), but I can't get it to work... I shall have to kidnap poor Anthony again... mwahahahahaha...

Ugh, my head hurts. I picked up an 8 am class today so I don't have to do any MWF classes... so 5 classes on TU/TH. Not bad, but I get real hungry. None of my classes seem great, except for 201, which is kind of funny. I think I really like the professor. He's extremely engaging to /every/one, something I've not really seen before. Got one RO shift on Saturday (nice), a few hours on Monday, 7.5 or sth on Wednesday, 3 on Friday. Not bad, not bad. I'd actually like to add more work if possible, though I might regret it...

So I was the prettiest girl at the computer show. XD Just kidding. One of the nuns was prettier than me. ;___; No, but I dressed up all pretty in my PRETTY PLAID PANTS THAT LIKE A LOT. I do. They are teh rok.

Ugh, maybe 4 classes back to back was a bad idea. @_@

I gotta leave for chorale soon... grrr...

I think I gotta get another harddrive... just from silly programs, it's already full. O.o; NO REALLY. No crap on there or ANYthing. Sniff. SUCH A FAST COMPIE. It was loading 98 is all of 3 seconds. *_* ;___; tears of joy... too bad sound and ethernet didn't werkie on it... ;_; My most impressive buy was not the cheap motherboard or the cool tabletnotpalette or the new compie holder... but the NEW (used) KEYBOARD FOR ONE DOLLAR!!! YAYYY!! I'm still getting used to it, which is why there are prolly a lot of typos. But I like it cuz it's mad quiet. I would like to upgrade my printer too sometime... to one that doesn't eat paper perhaps. x.x; Am I asking too much...?

Need to get dressed for chorale. Naked me + singing = FAILING THE CLASS BECAUSE I'M IN JAIL FOR PUBLIC EXPOSURE.

New comics come in tomorrow. OH PLEASE BANANA FISH BE IN THERE.

Enough from me.

-J

forever begins today at 03:49 p.m., Tuesday, February 4, 2003

brr yogurt

It's friggin' COLD here...

I think I put my Yau-si pic to good use, just not yet...

I also think I'm going to go do something I've been meaning to finish for a while... for Jaina... x.x; So she doesn't hate me anymore. ^^;;; LALALA...

heart heart,
me

forever begins today at 11:04 p.m., Friday, January 31, 2003

arr

Curse you, teeth. Good-bye, Tati. Shower time, self.

-J

forever begins today at 12:40 a.m., Thursday, January 30, 2003

Yau-si

Where should I use this? :D

forever begins today at 01:14 a.m., Wednesday, January 29, 2003

WARNING: ANGST POST AHEAD

This is your final warning. :p

So people keep remarking on how I should date someone. Random people, random dating, random times, etc. But the more I think about it, the more I consider the possibility, the sadder I get. I mean, what would tie one person to another? Certainly the only positive thing I can think of is free will, and that can be revoked at any time. I crave safety. I don't think I could seriously date (like more than one or two) anyone that I didn't love... like, seriously love. Sometimes it feels like I'm missing out. Most of the time, I just get retrospective and ponder. When I'm PMSing, I sit alone in my car and cry and think that no one could ever love me. Of course I know that's not true; what is more likely, in all honesty, is that I can't really love another person the way they would deserve to be loved... I'm very finicky and I have such a short attention span. Would it ever be fair to date anyone because I guarantee that in a few years everything I like now will be different?

I don't know. The thought of dating (and therefore really liking someone) is kind of foreign to me. I'm pretty self-sufficient. I'm not lonely very often, and when I am, I always have friends. Sure, making out would be nice, but let's be honest- I don't need that.

I guess what concerns me is that I just get sad when I think about dating.... which probably isn't healthy. O.o; But what can I say? If I date and someone falls in love with me... I think I'll just break their heart. It wouldn't be fair. Sure, it'd be their choice, blah blah blah etc, but I have a strong sense of guilt, strangely. And I find that I don't desperately need people like I used to. Yup, I love attention. Prolly always will. But most of the time it doesn't matter from whom.

It makes me sad to think this, but I also want to be honest, for when I go back and read this years from now. :p

Perhaps I should just become a hedonist and live the good life. Alas for morals and religious upbringings. What a demon I would have been in bed.

-J

forever begins today at 10:51 p.m., Tuesday, January 28, 2003

argh

down the proverbial crapper, only to hear: "Just wait and see. :D"

argh.

-J

forever begins today at 04:09 p.m., Tuesday, January 28, 2003

puzzling

So it seems that Bethany has an inherent dislike for me that I just don't understand. I almost never encounter her except in a work situation, but she seems to dinstinct lathe me. It doesn't bother me so much as it puzzles me. I don't think I've done anything to her...

... yet. XD

No, just kidding. I gotta leave in a few cuz Peaches eye has been irritated the past few days so I gotta take her to the vet. Classes started today and they seem EASY. But then again... I only have 17 credits. It's only like five classes or sth so I have FREE TIME. What's that? Time to work more? Right!!

Ehn, whatever. Working more would be good if I intend to save up any money. Gotta do my tax forms. Gee, only 1 class tomorrow. Also gotta sign up for my THESIS PROJECT YAY.

Hm, there are two people kind of worrying me... the first is Shelley, whom I can name because she doesn't read this. :D I dunno... I'm just not as supportive as I used to be, and she actually has a cause to be depressed... which saddens me, cuz she's one of the kindest, sweetest people I've ever known. Sigh.

Okay, the peach is in need of spending my money. I figured out I spend at least a month on cat food/litter if they only go through one bag of each (so prolly closer to -80, but...), plus vet bills are about... 0-600 a year. x.x Darn cats!!

Okay, I'm really leaving now. :D bye bye.

-J

forever begins today at 03:15 p.m., Tuesday, January 28, 2003

badum

I have come to the conclusion that it is not so much my writing that needs to improve; it's my storytelling. I say a lot without saying anything. Or rather, I can say anything, but whether or not it has any sort of meaning is different. So what it boils down to is that I just need to focus more on my ideas and the writing will come. Ideas are important.

I don't want to go back to school. -_- At all.

-J

forever begins today at 12:26 a.m., Sunday, January 26, 2003

HOSHII

Let's start this honestly, shall we? These are all from Victoria's Secret... and I shamelessly want them. :D

Desire #1:

Desire #2:

Desire #3:

And what I still want, despite all... -_-;;

Sigh. -_-;;

forever begins today at 12:07 a.m., Sunday, January 26, 2003

so shameless am I

I heart Anna. o_o

This is one of the most, if not *the* most simply inspiring things I've read in months. It made me want to cry, not just because of how tragic and delicate the story was, but from how agonzingly exquisite the writing was itself. I honestly think that this is the only things I've ever read since I've started writing, however many years ago, that has made me unabashedly jealous. You are a true talent.

*___* I'm so shamelessly easy to please. -_-;; Oro.

-J

forever begins today at 01:17 a.m., Friday, January 24, 2003

scan me, baby

Anthony. o_o I need a scanner. o_o Get me a scanner. o_o Grrr. o_o I am SCARYX0R.

forever begins today at 12:43 a.m., Thursday, January 23, 2003

A Defense of My Blog - Or, Why Banana Fish is Not Yaoi (yet)

Okay, so about a MILLION people have been like: "OMG! Your blog is mad yaoi!" Okay, first I have to say... It's not /mad/ yaoi... if it's yaoi, it's hardly at all. So, in defense of my layout, my little yellow books, and myself, I have reasons why this great manga series is not yaoi (yet). But here's to hoping. Spoilers will vanish like this: Heh, I'm so cool it hurts. Magic.

Reasons Why It Is Not (yet)

1. There are no pretty boys kissing. There aren't. They talk about male children being raped by male adults, but since when has rape had anything to do with one's sexual preference? They also discuss using sex to survive. I dunno. Maybe I'm just missing it. Heh, guess it's like accidental lesbians, right, Anthony?
2. Feelings one character has for another do not make yaoi. Yup, Papa Dino has a thing for Ash, make no mistake. But really, what it boils down to is lust and possession, not love. Arthur has kind of a weird relationship with Ash, and despite what Dave thinks, I don't think it's sexual. That leaves Marvin the fat pig, who dies right away. And that was rape anyway. :p And Eiji? Unfortunately, nothing on that front yet.
3. YAOI, or shounen ai? Yes, there's a difference. Yaoi is supposedly an acronym from "YAma nashi, Ochi nashi, Imi nashi" - meaning "no climax, no resolution, no meaning." Basically it means guy/guy smut. Shounen ai is the softer version, where there is usually a lot of hand holding in secret and hugging, maybe a little kissing, and that's it. Heh, I like the other acronym yaoi stands for... "YAmete, Oshiri ga Itai". Heh heh heh. But anyway, BF doesn't even fall into these categories (yet). There's not even any WAFF yet. Sigh...
4. If there is no visible sex, visible burgeoning feelings, or visible anything but friendship, how is it yaoi? No, really.

Being the fair person I am, I feel that I need to include the other half of this argument. THIS IS THE HALF I KEEP WANTING TO AGREE WITH. Grrrr... However, I believe the first is right.

Reason Why It Could Be

1. "I'll protect you, Eiji. Don't leave my side." Any fangirl ANYwhere, will instantly read into this. "I'll protect you" means so much more than just "I love you" in shoujo. It's almost an undying declaration of love that is usually followed through. The problem with this is that while he is saying this they are trying to escape Golzine's mansion and there are a million gun-toting baddies waiting to shoot them up. If Ash doesn't protect dumb sweet little Eiji, he'll be hole-riddled little Eiji. Also, Ash is American. While Yoshida Akimi is not, it sort of gives it a little more leeway than it otherwise would.
2. "I do not want to... lose you. If that happened... I think I go crazy." Okay, fine. This has more hints. But you can say this about friends, right? I mean, really, Eiji had just spent the last few months with Ash desperately just trying to survive, dodging bullets everywhere, getting kidnapped, being betrayed by one of his closest companions, and only living through all this because of Ash. Man, if that were me, I'd go more than a little crazy. This does continue however... "Ash! Please be safe!! Please come back!! I wait for you... always!!" Yeah, that sounds a bit more yaoi to me. But... just not enough. Sigh.
3. This is a shoujo comic. There are very few girls in it. But that's the best part! No sniveling magical girls who are wimps and whine and get constantly saved by Tuxedo Mask... except Eiji, but that's okay, cuz he's a good character. ^_^ Shunichi, too, I suppose... x.x These books make it look like every American knows how to use an M-16 or a rifle. x.x Anyway, I don't see what shoujo and yaoi necessarily have to do with each other like that. Shoujo does not necessitate yaoi. Only in CLAMP. :p
4. But this is Gackt's favorite manga. I'll give you that Gackt is weird. BUT that does not mean BF is yaoi. Sorry.
5. But every cover says something about Eiji being in love with Ash or vice versa! And everyone keeps referring to it as yaoi on the net! Okay, fine. I'm not attempting to disprove that it /will/ be yaoi (cuz I sure hope it will be :D). I'm just saying that it is not /now/. Which is isn't.

Okay, that was my rant. Hopefully as things progress my wishes will be fulfilled. But, until then... all you boys are welcome to read my books, because they are not yaoi. :p Feh. Curse the lack of BF fanfiction on the web... -_- Sigghhh...

-J

forever begins today at 02:32 p.m., Wednesday, January 22, 2003

...

Argh.... I am burning with passion, and no place to put it... I need a story to write soon, a great one, because I'm going to explode if I can't... but I have fruit and yogurt parfait... and passion... arrrgghhh...

forever begins today at 09:45 p.m., Tuesday, January 21, 2003

ahhh....

It comes to my attention that there are an unbelievable amount of worlds in this one, and that I'll never see most of them. I'll never see out of anyone's eyes but my own, and I'll never quite understand where anyone else is coming from. Despite knowing this to be true and unchangeable, it still bothers me, just a little. Perhaps this is why I want to write. It's like different facets. I love that moment where you really feel like you know someone, when you're sure that something is the way it is, even though it usually seems to turn out that it's not that way at all, or at least not exactly as you thought.

Dawn visited yesterday and today, which was nice, but I don't feel like she had much fun. I dunno. Usually we have a connecting point and the rest of the visit is awesome, but this time it just seemed like I was too tired or too hyper or too something. I always overcompensate for Dawn. I always feel the need to be something other than I am, usually trying to be better and failing, until we hit that point of even communication. I think I gave up this time. I'm getting lazy in my old age.

I've also decided that there are some people who are just too much work to maintain as friends and whom I just don't care about enough to strive for it. There are also others who are a freaking ton of work and crazy as poo, but are worth keeping around. Dunno why. I guess I just like crazy people. Jeez, check out my blog link list.

My cat slipped off my leg and clawed a good portion. Ow. She also keeps trying to climb onto my lap again.

Well, I have to get up in 4 hours to get book 4 from the post office. Hopefully 1 and 7 will come today. Mmm... Okay, going to go so I don't keep Jess too awake.

-J

forever begins today at 02:57 a.m., Tuesday, January 21, 2003

Hmmmm

It seems that my blog is not working well in Netscape Communicator, so for those of you who use that (like me x.x), I'm sorry, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER CUZ NO ONE READS MY BLOG ANYWAY WAHAHAHAHAHAHA ok just kidding. ^_^ Better to have no one read, than a lot of people you don't like. ^___^

So I read my four books like 5 times last night. SIIIIGGHHH... CURSE YOU, BOOK 7, WHY MUST YOU COME NEXT WEEK?? I should also clean my room. Or make that CD for Josiah... Yeah, I think I do that first. ^_^ Just because I'm lazy.

Mm, I'm all clean. Scrubbed my face with that Vicky See's loofah whatever it is. YUM. Maybe I should get another job there. That'd be great. Maybe I'll do that this summer. Hmm... Cheap bras, yo. I love my red shoes. I love my stripy Canadia pants. And I heart my Vicky See's bras. ^__^ Yes I do.

I really shouldn't drink coffee on an empty stomach, but more pizza just doesn't sound yummy to me right now. x.x Ughhh...

Okay, I'm off to burn Josiah's CD. Need to find the cord for the CD player... hmmm...

Oh, CB movie was pretty good. Like a long episode though, but prettier. So it was okay. AT LEAST IT DIDN'T HAVE LEWD LIPS. Ahem. Anyway. CD time.

-J

forever begins today at 02:08 p.m., Saturday, January 18, 2003

b a n a n a f i s h

Y A Y !

hee hee hee

-J

forever begins today at 01:43 p.m., Friday, January 17, 2003

wah

Banana Fish did not come today. I am despondent. Please come tomorrow, my dear books. My bus route needs you. I need you. My sanity needs you.

Curse you, Amazon, and your filthy shipping ways. Curse you.

-J

forever begins today at 09:51 p.m., Thursday, January 16, 2003

Anthony is pinchx0r

From your kaichou ^_~

Anthony: Then, while you're fussing, you need to explain something to me, because I'm curious
IncendiaryWinds: shoot
Anthony: Explain the appeal of yaoi.
IncendiaryWinds: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
IncendiaryWinds: YOU'RE SO CUTE
Anthony: Particularly from the female perspective,
IncendiaryWinds: somehow I knew that was coming
IncendiaryWinds: because it's non-threatening
Anthony: as in a yaoi story they're not involved.
IncendiaryWinds: if that makes any sense
Anthony: I seriously don't get it
IncendiaryWinds: it's sort of the same reason men like to watch lesbian sex
IncendiaryWinds: there are two appealing characters
Anthony: Um
Anthony: That's because naked chicks are hot
IncendiaryWinds: but instead of engaging you the reader/viewer, they engage each other
Anthony: I don't feel threatened by watching man-on-woman porn
IncendiaryWinds: well yes
IncendiaryWinds: so're nekkid guys ^_^
Anthony: And the fact that it's written with the verbal equivalent of the hentai "mysterious light that covers the naughtiest bits" adds to the non-threatening thing
IncendiaryWinds: yaoi tends to be more romantic (unless you wanna put that under the category of shounen ai but whatever)
IncendiaryWinds: sometimes
IncendiaryWinds: I'm not too keen on slash fics
IncendiaryWinds: sex is only good sometimes
IncendiaryWinds: I eat up romance though -_- I'm a cheese
Anthony: heh
IncendiaryWinds: PLUS THERE'S ALWAYS THE TRAGICALLY APPEALING ELEMENT OF SOCIETY NEVER ACCEPTING THEM YET THEY STILL LOVE EACH OTHER *-*
IncendiaryWinds: ahem -_-;;;
Anthony: A true classic.
Anthony: :-)
IncendiaryWinds: .... h8
Anthony: Well, it is, right?
Anthony: I was being serious, there
IncendiaryWinds: what is?
Anthony: tragically appealing....forbidden love as classic theme
IncendiaryWinds: exactly
IncendiaryWinds: romeo and juliet
IncendiaryWinds: but not quite XD
Anthony: Romeo and Julio
Anthony: I guess
IncendiaryWinds: :D any more questions?
Anthony: I guess it's a different tastes thing. I can't relate, because guys being together romantically does absolutely nothing for me
IncendiaryWinds: well
Anthony: But I accept your explanation
IncendiaryWinds: if it did you'd be gay?
Anthony: I'll bug you if I think of anything else
Anthony: I suppose
IncendiaryWinds: excellent ^-^
Anthony: Though, I thought pretty much nobody liked gay porn except gay men, and yaoi is (give or take a few degrees of romance, I suppose) the literary equivalent
IncendiaryWinds: HAHAHAHA ARE YOU SERIOUS??
IncendiaryWinds: you're so innocent
IncendiaryWinds: *pinch*
Anthony: Entirely
Anthony: One guy I know described gay porn as being like watching panthers fuck
IncendiaryWinds: I've never seen gay pr0n XD
Anthony: I never had the heart to find out for myself :-[
IncendiaryWinds: okay
IncendiaryWinds: next time you're up here we can rent some :D

So, anyone up for some gay pr0n when Anthony's up next? XD I'm totally amused.

This was not actually going to be an entry on this... it was just too good to pass by. I'm at my mom's house right now. I feel kinda sick. @_@ Curse you, Anthony Jon and Dave!! GRRRR....

I should go to bed because I have to get up to do laundry too... Sigh. I'm still stuck on how I want my front page to look. I'm kinda leaning towards something like what Pippi has minus the java (bleh), but I just don't know. Layouts have escaped my non-artistic brain.

I really hope Dawn comes this weekend. I miss her. ;_; I want everyone to meet her cuz she's cool. SHE IS! She's my pet Dawn. ^_~ AHHHH, NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT AI NO KUSABI!!

Okay, I'm hyper. Dave and I had a discussion about blogs. Weird! We agreed that they are good instead of mass emailing, but as most people use them, they are kind of annoying. Who really wants to hear people whine for attention anyway? I don't think I use my blog like that (of course I don't right? XD) because it's really just for myself. I'm always rather surprised when I find that people have been reading it. ^_^;;

I LOVE BANANA FISH. Ash is so great. He's SO my favorite hero archetype (I hear James dancing somewhere x.x). Sigh... And Eiji is just so darn sincere and cute and sweet that I just wanna hug him... *-* I even like all the side characters... Curse you, Meta!! This is like with Gravi!! Why do you do this to me??

I also found out that there are 19 volumes and that Viz has started publishing them in Animerica Extra. Blah, Viz, why aren't you Tokyo Pop? ]: Ehn, whatever. Only 7 released. AMAZON, SHIP IT FASTER!! FASTER, I TELL YOU!! Grrr... They've shipped everything but 1 and 7... HOW USEFUL IS THAT?? Not at all, let me tell you. I hope the first shipment comes tomorrow. That would make me happy. ^_^

*SWOON*

Sorry, I'm still hyper. I keep HOPING and she keeps TEASING me... Ohohoho... I can't help but thinking of Ash... and the bathroom scene... ahahahahaha hair down there!! @_X

Okay, yeah, I'm really hyper. -_-; Just had coffee too... I wonder if I'll sleep...? At least I don't have some crazy layout to keep me up till late tonight...

Siiighhhh.... Okay, I think I should go elsewhere instead of talking about my kinda poopy boring morning. ^_^; Maybe I'll surf the web like I'm SUPER COOL HAXX0R or sth. Hn. Maybe I'll dream of layouts... But what to put there...?

-J

forever begins today at 10:33 p.m., Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Lazyx0r!

This is prolly the laziest blog I've made, but it took me forever cuz I've forgotten all my layout stuff this past semester, as I did nothing but school. I'm back from Toronto, obviously, and had a delightful time, but I don't want to type much cuz Jess is sleeping. So... later. ^_^

btw, Banana Fish coming SOON *_*

-J

forever begins today at 01:37 a.m., Wednesday, January 15, 2003