+ + St. Patty's Day + Wednesday, March 17, 2004 +
Why do we celeprate this day? Why honor a guy who drove out snakes? Poor homeless snakes...
Anyhow, I'm COLD! And I haven't decided whether or not that's an improvement on my usual "bored". Today was actually *gasp* NOT boring. I took Grandma to work at 6 AM, got flustered over her questions about personal issues, came home, joked about sex with my mom (actually, we joked about men dying during sex), made fun of my dad for saying he had pills 'just like' my birth control (he meant they're about the same size), and played FFIX. Jennifer's boyfriend lent me IX in exchange for X-2, and I am HOOKED! I've had to look at a walkthrough once! I may have missed some things, but I'm pretty proud of that fact. Well, Chris (J's boyfriend-- I know, that's sick) also gave me a tip on killing a HEINOUS creature that kept destroying my white mages. Other than that, I went to Safeway and Burger King with Emily, discussed wedding stuff with Emily (Sarah's upcoming nuptials seem to have declared open season on wedding plans, whether you're engaged or not), and hung out at Emily's house for a while until I had to go get Grandma. Then I came back, called Emily, ate dinner at her house, read Sailor Moon, and watched her get ready to go to Rent (which I'm still angry about missing...), and came back home. Not necessarily in that order. Hee!
Now I'm re-reading Ill-Met by Starlight. Why? Maybe because I'm a masochist. Once the initial horror of Ranma being a psychotic KILLER wears off, you start to feel sorry for the poor maniac. Anyhow, I am COLD, and I have other things to do. (Not
better, just
other. So, g'night!
**EDIT**
(Since I don't want to spam my own tag board)
To Derek:
(Do you even know me...?) I never said that love was ONLY feeling. Love is 100% feeling plus 100% DEVOTION. The devotion is where the unconditional comes into play. Yes, you fight, even when you love someone. Maybe BECAUSE you love them (that whole lashing out at those closest to you thing). But if you're devoted to them as well as loving them, you are willing to put out the time and effort to fix things and move on. That's when you know that you're in love and not just that you love someone. And if you only feel "love" at 100%, then you have never experienced even a fraction of what I feel for Josh, and I sincerely hope that you someday do. You are wrong about love 'hitting'. It does just that. It takes you COMPLETELY by surprise, and when you know that you're actually in love with someone, it HITS you, almost physically, with one of the scariest, most thrilling, most nerve-wrackingly exhillerating things that you will ever experience! (It's really more than that, but I can't express it very well...) Now then, if you have anything else to say, keep it off the tag board! Don't spam! My e-mail address is all over this page, so send me your comments that way, mm-kay? ^^
++ Melissa se liberó en 12:39 a.m.
]
+ + Life in general + Wednesday, March 3, 2004 +
I am so tired. This will be a short entry. Josh and I talked on Monday. He said that he needed to take a break to figure out his life. He said he needed to get right with God, and what we did wasn't right with God. I agree. It was a mistake for both of us to give in like that. So now we're taking a break. "Give me a month." That's what he said. So I'm taking a month myself to get right again. I still believe that God brought us together for a reason, and I don't feel that that purpose has been fulfilled yet. It's hard to be patient, and it's hard for me to pray every night, but I'll do it! (Resolve is a beautiful thing.)
Other than that... Nothing. There's really nothing going on in my life at present. Trying to find a job, still. Oh, Mom got a new Hyundai Sonata. I got to drive it when she brought it home, and it's a smooth ride. It reminds me of a Grandma's car, though. And now I'm going to bed. Night.
++ Melissa se liberó en 01:55 a.m.
]
+ + The Passion + Saturday, February 28, 2004 +
You're Himeno.
Which woman of Pretear are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Went to see The Passion tonight. Wow. I really don't understand why it's such a good movie, though. All of the normal things you look for in a good movie (plot, acting, character development) weren't there. The actors were good, but the rest of it just wasn't there. There was little dialogue, and I was kind of surprised by that. It was really really good, though! Ugh. My brain hurts trying to understand. It was pretty obvious that the creator is a Catholic. Everyone deferred to Mary so much. When Jesus was on the Via Dolorosa and he fell, the Romans were pushing everyone who tried to rush him away, except for Mary. They even dragged a woman trying to give him a drink away. I think the whole anti-semetic (sp?) thing was crap. I didn't see that there was an undue amount of blame placed on the Jews. The Jews were the ones wanting to help Jesus on the way to Golgotha. I got so mad at the Romans! They were beating Jesus even while he was stumbling with a huge cross on his back!
Anyhow, that was quite an experience. OH! We got a new car! Hyundai Santa Fe. Soooo cool! I can't wait for my turn to try it out. hehehehe... Seat heaters, CD changer... *_* I'm in love.
Speaking of love, I wrote Josh a letter. Mailed it before we went to the dealership. I think I'll keep writing him. It's a good idea, since he's too busy to talk on the phone for long.
Anyhow, that's it. Gonna go now. Bye~
++ Melissa se liberó en 07:52 p.m.
]
+ + Sleep + Friday, February 27, 2004 +
I miss being able to sleep whenever I want. *sigh* I have to get up at six every morning to drive Grandma to work. Thrilling, really. What do you think of the new layout?? I really like this one. It's spring-like and BRIGHT. And Cloud is hot.
I need a job. Badly. I have applied at four places recently. I'm hoping for a phone call from Office Max or Sears... Anyhow, I have to run. Got to drive Katie to work now. Bye bye.
++ Melissa se liberó en 03:00 p.m.
]
+ + Fat Tuesday + Tuesday, February 24, 2004 +
Today is Mardi Gras. Happy Fat Tuesday, all. Did you gorge yourselves? Flash anyone for beads? Anyhow, I am very, very bored. I have been most of today. Blah. That's all that there is to say, really. Just blah.
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. I doubt that I'll be giving anything up this year. I haven't in 7+ years, I think. It's been a long time, anyway. I think the last time I observed Lent, I gave up chocolate. OH! Since tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, that means that Passover is coming up! I love Passover! Though I haven't gone to a sader (is that right?) in several years, either. I was going to try to go to one in Nampa, but I never got around to finding out about one.
Mmm... I am so disgustingly bored. I'm repeating myself... Actually, I'm trying to find an art gallery that I used to go to for X scans... I'm not having much luck. Maybe it closed down after CLAMP's image policy announcement.
Right. That's really all. I'm going to go continue my search. Bye bye~
++ Melissa se liberó en 10:48 p.m.
]
+ + kleptomania... + Sunday, February 22, 2004 +
I think it must be in the genes. Though that really disturbs me. Jennifer has now taken to "adopting" my belongings. She has taken two momentos of friendship. She had a bracelet that I got at the end of my year at NNU (Kate and Rob each had one, too), and she claimed that one of "her kids" at work made it for her. Now she has a bracelet that Jayme made me in the first two months at NNU with sequins on fishing wire with a little cross. I also found out that she uses personal items of mine (razor, body wash, and shower puff-- EW!) that are in the bathroom. I cannot take this bullshit anymore!! She's driving me beyond insane. I even told my dad that I can't live with her anymore. Either she goes or I have to. I can't take it anymore. How can they expect me to live with a delusional, lying, klepto???
AAAGH! I thought that this was over. Since Amanda put on so much weight, she hasn't been taking my things. I NEVER thought I would have to worry about it from Jennifer. What is wrong with my sisters? Are we even all from the same gene pool??
++ Melissa se liberó en 11:34 a.m.
]
+ + Love, passion, obsession... + Thursday, February 19, 2004 +
Hehe~ I saw Meet Joe Black (or most of it, anyway), and that's the way that Susan (the girl that Death falls in love with) describes how she feels for Joe. "Love, passion, obsession" I like!
Anyhow, I'm really really tired.I did get to talk to Josh tonight, though. As it turns out, he dropped his phone 13 feet from an airplane. hehe Needless to say, it broke. So he had to buy a new one. He's also trying to avoid another high cell phone bill. AND he's been incredibly busy at work. They're understaffed, so he's been working overtime and then some. Those are the reasons he gave me for not calling. I told him that I got upset when I didn't hear from him on Valentine's Day, and he said he figured I would. But that isn't really an apology. None of it was. Come to think of it, I don't think he's ever apologized to me. Maybe for being anal about his truck, but that was because I picked on him about it. Hmm... Interesting realization. It doesn't upset me, though. It's like once we discuss something, whether one of us apologizes or not, that's the end of it. It isn't an issue anymore. Hm. lol
ANYWAY~ I am so unbelievably bored and disgustingly unemployed. I've decided that I am going to get a job (even if I have to get one at McDonald's) and save up enough money to fly to Ketchikan, then I'll look for a job when I get there. It's so much easier to apply in person, after all. Now I just have to take care of the getting a job part.
ARGH! I'm tired! Why did I agree to drive Grandma to work at 6 in the bloody morning? Anyhow, I'd better go to bed. Night.
++ Melissa se liberó en 11:30 p.m.
]
+ + I hate V-Day + Sunday, February 15, 2004 +
What could V-Day stand for, other than Valentine's Day...? Vacuum Day? Volvo Day? Vietnam Day, Votive Day, Vroom Day, Vault Day... I can't think of anymore.
So... guess what I did this Valentine's Day! Guess! I dare you... I sat and did NOTHING. I watched TV with my gimpy grandmother. Guess who didn't call? That's right: Josh. It was VALENTINE'S DAY, for cryin' out loud! You'd think that he might call his girlfriend to wish her a happy valentine's day, maybe say he missed her, perhaps even tell her he loves her. But did he?? Of course not. He's got more important things to do. After all, who would beat the Jedi video game if he didn't? Please excuse the ranting. I am PMS-ing and vindictive. OOH! Vindictive Day!
Blah. I talked to Kate for about an hour and a half. Wallowed in self-pity, then kicked myself for it. I LOATHE self-pity. Anyhow, I took a quiz. It was on Emily's blog. You know I can't resist these things...
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.
What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
So what do you think? Is it me? Right. Bye.
++ Melissa se liberó en 01:15 a.m.
]
+ + heeeeeeee + Friday, February 13, 2004 +
I know I haven't updated in a while. Sorry. When your life is as dull as mine, you don't find too many things to write about. Anyhow, today I actually DID things, so it deserves at least a short blurb before bed.
Started the day with a phone call from Mom. Garndma slipped on the ice in our drive way Wednesday and hurt her ankle. It swelled like crazy, and she went to the doctor's office today... yesterday... Thursday. Anyhow, she needed to go for x-rays, so Mom called me to ask if I would drive her. So, with much grumbling and a call to Josh, I got out of bed and drove my grandmother first to get the x-rays done, then to lunch, then to the doctor's for a cast, then all over bloody creation looking for a cast shoe, then home. She fractured her ankle when she fell. Not fun. Anyhow, we couldn't get the cast shoe, so I have to go out... later today, I suppose, to get it for her. She's sleeping on the couch now.
That was Thing #1 that I did. Thing #2 is quite simple: I got Abhorsen! lol FINALLY. I've been waiting for it to be released in paperback so that I'll have the entire trilogy in paperback (one of those anal retentive things I picked up on after hanging around Emily too long :p). It came out the first, but I haven't been able to get to Border's to get it, and now I HAVE IT! lol I am beyond thrilled. In fact, I'm going to go read it right now. Good night.
++ Melissa se liberó en 02:08 a.m.
]
+ + Ladybug + Monday, February 9, 2004 +
I watched
Under the Tuscan Sun tonight! I've been waiting months to see that. Since before it came out, actually. Such a good movie! Not quite what I was expecting, but still really good.
I am so bored with my life. I want to... do something. I'm not sure what. My mom has given me permission to "get creative" with the family room, though, so that's a new project that I can work on during the day. I had just finished watching the movie when she told me that, so my first impulse was to say "Let's do Tuscany!", but I think I should let the excitement from the movie subside a bit before I decide.
I miss Josh. I've decided that it's partly PMS and partly separation anxiety. After seeing him everyday for three weeks, suddenly not hearing from him is sort of like a shock to my system.
In other news... Matt said that he would call me sometime this week so that we could watch anime or something. I wonder if he will? I also wonder if I'll be able to go to Boulder for Emily's "Single Awareness Day".
Today was Katie's 18th birthday. It reminded me that I'll be twenty this year. I don't feel like I should be turning twenty. Apparently, it was the same way for Josh. I feel like... it's my nineteenth birthday again. It's weird. Damn, today was a depressing day. Good night.
The "
Which Member of AVALANCHE are You?" quiz is brought to you by
Gospel Decay.
The "
What type of clone would you be?" quiz is brought to you by
Gospel Decay.
++ Melissa se liberó en 11:37 p.m.
]
+ + Woohoo~ + Monday, February 9, 2004 +
I got a new layout up at Morango! I'm really proud of it. I think that it's easily one of the better layouts I've done. Went on a major FFVII/Cloud x Tifa kick today. Even joined the FL. lol Got a bunch of images. Hopefully, I'll be able to make a nice blog layout with one of the pictures. But I love Lenne, so a layout change here is a long ways off.
Emily made sprites! lol I'm still working on it (she showed me where she got the bases last night). Maaaaaybe I'll just collect the ones that she makes. Heeeee
GAH! I'm bored and tired. More tired really. I should hit the sack soon. VERY soon. As in fifteen minutes ago. So, goodnight. Better update tomorrow, hopefully.
++ Melissa se liberó en 02:24 a.m.
]
+ + stuff an' things + Sunday, February 8, 2004 +
lol YAY! Emily made those. There are some more at her blog. I like the V-Day ones. hehe
Anyhow, I went shopping last night! Got a new skirt and sweater set that's really cute ( each at WalMart). They go with my brown boots pretty well. I also got a pair of jeans, but I'm regretting them now. Mostly because Katie said they're cute, and she has the worst taste in clothes. Amanda said they make my butt more defined. I have no idea how to take that.
Today is a fat day. I haven't had one of those in a while, and I remember now that I don't like them at all. Very blech. Uhmmmm... That's all. I'm bored. Ciao.
++ Melissa se liberó en 05:01 p.m.
]
+ + thoughts + Thursday, February 5, 2004 +
AAGH! Okay. I need to get my thoughts out, and this is an online journal, right? So here goes. (NOTE: My thoughts tend to get me into trouble. I'm not apologizing this time, though, so if you think this will offend you, don't read it.)
So I talked to Josh this morning. *SHOCK* He was at the store during his town run to buy a bagel and cream cheese for one of his co-workers. So we talked long enough for me to collect a handful of excuses as to why he hasn't called me, then he was checking out and had to go, but he said he would call me back later. No big deal. Here's the thing my brain has been trying to chew up for the last 12 hours: when I said "I love you" before hanging up, he just said "bye" and usually, when he's in public, he'll say "yeah, me too" or something to that effect. Now, it's possible that he was at the register and fumbling with his wallet, but it was creepy. FLASHBACK: May 2003, I'm talking to Justin on the phone, I say "I love you", he doesn't say it back. END FLASHBACK. It's really a trivial thing, but I can't stop bloody THINKING about it. Anyhow, I hang up the phone, thinking that he'll call me back later, but he didn't call today. So I called him at 10 which is 8 his time, and his phone was on, but he didn't answer. So I left a message telling him that I need to talk to him. Not the sappy "Oh, I miss the sound of your voice, please call me" thing, but a serious "I NEED to talk to you" thing. He didn't call back. It's totally possible that he just got busy and didn't check his messages before turning off his phone for the night, but it is all driving me INSANE. It feels WAY to deja vu like. If he were to call me tomorrow and tell me that he "needs some time to think" or some bullshit like that, I think I'll scream. Anyhow, I'm going to go talk to Emily now. If someone with my number reads this, CALL ME. I'll probably talk your ear off, too.
++ Melissa se liberó en 11:57 p.m.
] + + Ponderances and Quizzles + Thursday, February 5, 2004 +
What's your heircharcy in Heaven?
Which Ayashi no Ceres character are you?
The Coolest Friends in the World
Mmmm... Right. Kinky? AYA?? Riiight.
In case you were wondering, yes, I do think it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for me to take those quizzes and display the results here. Makes the page load slower. :p
Anyhow! V-Day is in nine days and I SUPPOSE I should get something for Josh, but I have no idea what. My dad said I should fly up there and surprise him. Mm-hm. As fun as that would be, I just don't see it happening. Though I did muse it over, and I know how I COULD do it.
Anyhow, I haven't spoken to Josh since Sunday night. I tried calling him, but his phone is always either turned off or he doesn't answer. *SNIFF* I'm going through withdrawals!
I sent my resume (a pathetic sight, really) to two companies in Ketchikan. I'm hoping I'll be able to get a job. My mom is on a 'there's no such thing as coincidences' kick, so she got me to send it in for a job that I heard about while I was up in Alaska. I don't think I'm all that qualified for either position, but I decided to send the resume anyway. You never know, right?
ANYHOW. I miss Josh. I want him to be here! Of course, if he were here, I probably wouldn't be updating at all. Mmmm... What else? Oh! I made a new Visions layout that I'm quite pround of. It's a lego man. lol Got a bit of inspiration from Emily's new layout. It isn't a rip-off, though. I just went to the same place for the image I used.
Kate and Rob are moving to Alaska with me this summer! lol (I decided for you, guys.) Kate and I actually talked about that a couple of days ago. We could all get a house or something. It would be a lot of FUN. I don't know what they would do about school, though. I suppose we could rent it for the summer, get seasonal jobs, and play at being independent for a while. That would be fun.
Right. I'm done. CIAO.
++ Melissa se liberó en 12:46 a.m.
] + + Quizzes + Monday, February 2, 2004 +
Blame Emily. :p
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
You feel happy, and loved. Nothing could be any
better for you....you may even have a love one
in your life....go you. (Please Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and you're quite the day dreamer. You're a bit odd and as many say "Your head is in the clouds."
What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
Innocent
What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
*blink* Wasn't expecting some of those. Anyhow, twas fun an' stuff.
++ Melissa se liberó en 10:34 p.m.
] + + GRAR! + Friday, January 30, 2004 +
Okay... deep, cleansing breath. I am calm.
I just tried to update my layout, but it didn't work. I'm not horribly surprised, really, just incredibly frustrated! I want to update! *sob*
Anyhow, I archived, at least. That's all. Bye.
++ Melissa se liberó en 02:29 a.m.
]
