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a place where i sometimes write:
journal
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01.28.2001
super bowl sunday. even though i follow sports, i didn't care much about this game. i have no allegiances or feelings toward the ravens or the giants. but trying to be the good american i aspire to be, i tuned in to the big game. what a snoozer. the ravens dominated this one from start-to-finish. but...not only did i waste time watching an unexciting football game, i was also subjected to craploads of lousy commercials that companies spent millions and millions on. these included one which made me cringe by using lou reed's "perfect day" as its soundtrack. why do they always use good songs? in my case, the advertisers didn't do a good job, because i'll be damned if i can remember any of the products being sold. okay, i do remember budweiser and some net company called cingular. cingular had the audacity to use footage of a handicapped painter who has a contraption strapped on his head and paints that way. the guy could barely speak, so they subtitled his words. it was supposed to be moving, but it only made me hate these net fuckers. it seemed so shameless and exploitative.
perhaps worse than the barrage of ads was the truly awful halftime show, which featured aerosmith, n'sync, britney spears and some other people teaming up to perform "walk this way.". these people should all be publicly flogged. or maybe i should be punished for watching. i'm sure there were a lot of braintrusts out there in tv land who ate this shit up. to me, it was truly horrific. a sign of the decay of civilization if there ever was one.
okay, i need to get a hold of myself. i'm spewing out bile and profanity and it isn't pretty. to leave with a positive note, i got my superchunk/spoon tickets and found out that all these bands are here in march: hot water music, rocket from the crypt, murder city devils, cursive, crooked fingers, small brown bike and leatherface. and i have a feeling that's just the tip of the iceberg. also, a tip of the cap to my boy froto, who managed to squeeze in an update while in reno/tahoe for the weekend. his dedication to regular updates is inspiring. his tales of alcohol consumption and excitement/angst about romance are always entertaining.
10:58 p.m.
01.25.2001
deep into my third week of slackerdom, i'm beginning to think it's both a blessing and a curse. more of a blessing, for sure. but still, there's a sense of time wasted and the realization that it will all be over at the end of february. that's when i'll receive my final paycheck and basically have 2 weeks to find a job and get some money coming in to pay bills. a morbid thought and one i keep trying to erase from my mind. i've been successful, for the most part...but i can't help wondering if all of my recent and frequently recurring nightmares can be attributed to my fear of returning to the 9-5 grind.
there have been a few small accomplishments. i managed to make a couple of fairly impressive mix tapes, which i sent to folks in the UK and ohio. i've also discovered something about myself. i'm happiest when i'm totally immersed in things i find interesting. this time off has given me the opportunity to spend entire days wandering around bookstores and record stores, watching
documentaries and other films, listening to music,
reading, etc. i feel like a sponge, soaking up all the information i can on a variety of subjects. i seem to have an insatiable thirst for knowledge, despite the fact that i sometimes have a short attention span. i only wish i could take the passion i have for music, literature, film and history and put it to good use in some kind of job. that would be the best of all possible worlds.
10:51 a.m.
01.22.2001
just got back from seeing superdrag at slim's. when i see a band play for the first time, invariably one of two things happens:
a.) i get soured on the band because their performance is uninspired and doesn't move me like their records do.
b.) i grow to love and respect the band because their performance is amazing and breathes life into even their most mediocre songs.
tonight's experience with superdrag would fall into category b. going to the show, i wouldn't say i was a rabid fan. i have three of their records and think a handful of songs from these lps are great. there are also quite a few songs that i had a lukewarm response to. this all changed after seeing them live...color me impressed. these three fellows from tennessee played with a lot of energy and intensity and most importantly, you could tell they were enjoying every moment of it. they had big smiles on their faces all night and kept exchanging looks that let everyone know that this was a good show. i don't know if it's like that for them every night, but it was pretty sweet to watch. i didn't even care that i had no one there to share it with, or the fact that i was at slim's...a place i really don't like that much.
if i wasn't so tired, i'd say a few words about seeing mark eitzel on thursday. i guess i'll save that for tomorrow. i will say it was a good show. the man can sing. i felt a few chills down the ol' spine during some of his songs. but i'll get into that later. for now, it's bedtime...
12:25 a.m.
01.18.2001
got a little taste of the california power crisis this morning, but it wasn't all that bad. the rolling blackout hit my apartment for just over an hour. i used the time to organize my bookcase.
i haven't seen any shows in quite awhile, but i'll be going to two over the next four days. tonight is mark eitzel at the great american music hall and sunday is superdrag at slim's. i'm looking forward to both. my live music experiences were pretty uninspiring in 2000. i'm hoping one of these shows is memorable.
12:00 p.m.
01.16.2001
i've been a bit of a slacker about posting lately. now that i'm not working, i tend to not spend as much time on the computer. since i last posted, i have: gone record shopping, tried to see mudhoney to no avail (it was sold out), stayed up til 3am talking and smoking cigarettes with a friend i haven't seen in awhile, felt sick to my stomach, watched movies, co-hosted a radio show with kristina, finished one mix tape and started another, received a mix tape from a girl in ohio, received the braid video from bob and slept a lot.
speaking of that braid video, i just watched it. overall, it's excellent. very nicely put together with some great footage from their last few shows. it brought back a lot of memories...not because i was at those last shows in illinois and wisconsin, but because i saw braid 4 times when i lived in texas. the only criticism i have isn't really a criticism of the movie itself. the thing that bothered me was the lame chicago crowd in the footage from the metro. these people did not move at all. every time i saw braid play in houston, people went completely crazy, singing along to every song and jumping all over the place. the band seemed to feed off this energy and they were more active as well. there are a few moments like this in the video (at least as far as the band's intensity goes), particularly when they played "hugs from boys." but, come on people! this is the last time braid will ever play and you're lucky enough to be there. you should be doing a little more than nodding your heads. i don't really move around much at shows, but i guarantee i would've shown more enthusiasm than those folks. ah...whatever. it's still a great movie and anyone who liked braid should own a copy.
6:38 p.m.
01.11.2001
i hate to be negative or a complainer or whatever, but today has been ass! the heinous combination of rain and 30 mile-per-fucking-hour wind can go straight to hell! it's fit for neither man nor beast out there. my umbrella somehow survived the onslaught, but my pants, socks and shoes are soaked through. a lotta good the umbrella did. a few times, i felt such a force on it that it took all the strength i had to hold the damn thing. yeah, i know. i sound like a whiny little shit. but it's brutal out there. on top of that, my burrito at lunch was lukewarm and not too tasty and i accidentally took francesca's keys home from berkeley with me. now the poor girl doesn't have a key to her building. she still has a key to her apartment, but she'll have to wait until someone lets her into the building itself. what a nightmare!
enough bellyaching. i did make a few good finds at amoeba this morning. so all was not lost. come to think of it, there are some things to be thankful for. part 3 of the jazz series was excellent, francesca designed a cool cover for one of my mix tapes and i'm now warm and dry in my apartment...about to start another tape and crack open a beer. life isn't all that bad after all...
2:36 p.m.
01.10.2001
my interest in jazz has never been that strong. i always had a certain respect for it, especially for the technical expertise of the musicians. but i never spent much time really listening to it or studying its history. there was a time back in my early 20's when i heard charles mingus on a college radio station and i was intrigued. i ended up buying a few jazz cds. some mingus, miles davis, charlie parker and john coltrane cds made their way into my collection. i still listen to them from time to time. but...admittedly, i know nothing about jazz.
thanks to ken burns' amazing series on pbs, i've become fascinated by a musical form with a rich history and some truly inspiring stories. i never realized the historical and musical significance of people like buddy bolden, jelly roll morton, duke ellington and louis armstrong. for the past two nights, i've sat transfixed in front of the tv, taking in both the history and the music. the pbs site also has a lot of great information. i can't wait for the next episode...
01:00 a.m.
01.08.2001
my first day of freedom (albeit temporary) and i've gotta say...it feels pretty good. knowing that i've got paychecks coming in until march 6 gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. it also makes me want to drink some beer. but there's plenty of time for that. this morning, i'm cleaning up my monstrosity of an apartment. i'm going through everything, getting rid of what i don't need and organizing the rest. i'm also trying to squeeze in some laundry and mix taping. so what the hell am i doing online? well...i had to secure a copy of the braid video from mr. nanna. now it's time to get back to the clean-up. is that beer i see in the fridge?
12:46 p.m.
01.04.2001
more lay-offs going down here. this time, we had a choice. instead of waiting to be given your walking papers, you could volunteer to leave. the reward for stepping up: 2 months pay and continued benefits until the end of march. needless to say, with the trouble this company's been in lately...i strapped on the parachute and jumped.
tomorrow's my last day and i'm excited. with 2 months salary to fall back on, i'm planning to take the entire month of january and do whatever the hell i want. i can't wait.
continuing with last year's tradition of obsessive movie-watching (i watched 210 films last year), i've already seen a couple this year. the first was yellow , an indie film by bay area filmmaker, chris chan lee. the movie deals with a night in the life of a group of graduating high school seniors. most of the characters are likable and there are some funny scenes, but overall it doesn't come together in a satisfying way. there's also a subplot involving a robbery that's implausible as hell and some of the dialogue is hokey. overall, it's a decent effort for a first-time director...but nothing special.
i also saw wages of fear. wow...this is a great film. it's about a group of deadbeats stuck in a dead end town in south america. these guys are broke and down on their luck. an opportunity arises when an oil company offers a $2000 payday. the trouble is the paycheck only comes if they complete a suicide mission: drive a truck filled with nitroglycerin over 300 miles on crappy roads. this film delivers on two levels: it's unbelievably suspenseful and it also presents several interesting characters and explores the relationships between them.
damn, i'm a long-winded bastard. over the next few days i'm going to try and list my 10 favorite films from last year (not just those released during 2000, but my favorite 10 of the 210 i watched during the year), as well as my 10 favorite records of 2000.
4:12 p.m.
01.02.2001
got back from seattle last night. it was a good trip. we went to the EMP, ate a lot of amazing food, visited some record stores, went bowling, took long walks... i like seattle quite a bit. the sky's always gray and it's colder than the bay area, but the air's clean and the snow-capped mountains surrounding the city are beautiful. if i ever leave the SF area, seattle's a possibility. i still have to scout out portland as well.
with the new year upon us, some of the blog folks are doing interesting things. jack's done a re-design over at saturn.org and it looks great. also, bob of hey mercedes is doing a countdown of his 365 favorite songs of all time. if only i had the skills to make a nice-looking site or the creativity to come up with a good daily gimmick, well...i'd be set. who knows, maybe i can come up with something. the year is young still...
i decided to take the day off and i celebrated my short-lived additional day of freedom with a meal at long life veggie house and a trip to amoeba and cody's in berkeley. i was excited to find the new issue of jack rabid's big takeover. quite simply, this is the best music magazine on the face of the planet. jack is an amazing writer with an obsessive love for music. the newest copy is his 20th anniversary issue and it's jam packed with interesting interviews, incisive reviews and part one of a history of the zine. there's a great picture of a young punk rabid in his room at age 16. it's amazing that he's been doing it this long. the man is one of my heroes. he's turned me on to a lot of great bands over the years. i was even lucky enough to join him for beers and the avengers reunion show back in 1999. i'll never forget some of the stories he told that night about people like paul westerberg of the replacements, members of the bad brains, etc. a great guy...anyone who considers themself a music fan should read his zine.
2:39 p.m.
12.28.2000
almost forgot to mention something else i was thinking about today. that bastard charlie rose kept me up late again last night. his interviews are always fascinating. the guests i saw last night were mark cuban (the dot.com billionaire who bought the dallas mavericks) and steven gaghan (a screenwriter who penned the upcoming film, traffic). traffic looks like a good one.
2:50 p.m.
there's absolutely no one at work today. i haven't done a damn thing. i'm only counting the hours now until i'm out of here. i'm starting to look forward to the weekend in seattle. i've been there once before, but i didn't see much except for the dudes throwing fish. this time, i'll probably see some more touristy stuff like the space needle. but the thing i'm most excited about is the EMP. can't wait to check out the punk chronology and riot grrl retrospectives, as well as an exhibit on seattle music that's narrated by none other than mudhoney's mark arm. it should be a fun trip. now i need to get a burrito...
12:43 p.m.
12.27.2000
back at work after a five day weekend. where did the time go? on the one hand, i'm glad all this xmas nonsense is over. on the other, i'm none-too-thrilled to be back at the ol' 9-to-5. but really, i shouldn't complain. i only have to work two days this week and then i'm off to seattle for the weekend.
on friday, i braved the crowds and saw an early matinee showing of crouching tiger, hidden dragon. i'm glad i showed up ridiculously early cos the damn thing ended up selling out. i sat in the back row, which turned out to be a mistake. a bunch of moronic kids sat next to me, and i don't think they'd ever seen a subtitled film. they were whining about how it was hard to read the dialogue and that the story was boring. they said stupid shit like "i better see some ass-kicking soon" and "where's jackie chan up in this motherfucker?". once the fight scenes kicked in, they shut up...mostly. another thing that was interesting was how the whole audience went fucking ballistic after every fight scene, exploding in bursts of applause. it made me feel like i was seeing rocky.
the film itself pretty much lived up to my expectations. it was a compelling mix of action, legend and romance. i'd heard talk that the action scenes were nothing special if you've seen a lot of HK films, but i disagree. i'd put the fight scenes in crouching tiger up against most HK films, even the bride with white hair. and that's one of the best.
for me, what made this film truly great were the performances by chow yun-fat and michelle yeoh. yeoh, in particular, is incredible. she conveys an emotional depth in her facial expressions that's very moving. she's also amazing in the fight scenes. finally, i think ang lee did an excellent job directing. it's a serious change from his other works (the ice storm, sense and sensibility), but he managed to retain some the stylistic elements from those films and still make an exciting action picture.
10:38 a.m.
12.20.2000
i'm pretty excited that i pulled the trigger on mark eitzel tickets in time. i almost had a chance to see him play a surprise show at the elbo room a few years ago, but it didn't work out. he's notorious for going off during his live performances. who knows, maybe those days might be over. he might be all mellow. but i'm still looking forward to seeing the gutter poet-laureate of san francisco.
last night: had a tasty dinner with my friend, helen, at esperpento. it was that crazy spanish tapas stuff. kinda pricey, but good. the spicy potatoes were the shit. after this culinary feast, i returned home to finish a mix tape. i think it came out alright.
12:00 p.m.
12.15.2000
i guess we shouldn't complain about facing fines for eating on BART. in washington dc, they arrest 12 year-old kids for eating french fries on the subway. to top it off, the fascist principal at her school may kick her off the double-dutch jump rope team! what is the world coming to?
4:07 p.m.
12.14.2000
for the last few months, i've been seeing a lot of steel reserve cans on the streets. while i'm not a malt liquor connoisseur, i have had a few OEs in my day. this steel reserve stuff is pretty crazy. 8.1% alcohol and a very cheap price. i think i may pick one up on the way home tonight.
2:44 p.m.
matt smith wrote an excellent article on SF bike safety in the newest issue of the SF weekly.
2:40 p.m.
the other night, i reached for a record i hadn't heard in years. the gits were never one of my favorite bands, yet i own a couple of their lps and an early 7". singer mia zapata had an amazing voice and that alone made it worthwhile to have a few gits' records in my collection.
as i listened to "another shot of whiskey" and "second skin," it was a little creepy hearing her voice. i remembered how she'd been murdered back in 1993.
from what i understood, the cops never came close to finding her killer. after some searching, i found this article. evidently, a psychologist thinks that the green river killer may be responsible for zapata's murder. the cops dismiss the guy's theories, but i dunno...
10:57 a.m.
12.11.2000
had a pretty good weekend. the highlight would have to be going to le video, which is one of the best video stores on the face of the planet. this place has everything. the hong kong section alone almost made me crap myself. i spent the better portion of an hour walking from section to section with my jaw on the floor. francesca probably got sick of hearing me say "i can't believe this...i just can't believe this."
i ended up watching seven movies over the weekend, bringing my total up to 191 for the year. perhaps the most impressive of the bunch was quills , with geoffrey rush turning in an unforgettable performance as the infamous marquis de sade. although i detest the oscars, it would be nice to see rush get a nod for this one.
2:25 p.m.
12.08.2000
words cannot express the sense of anticipation and excitement i'm feeling about seeing this movie. maybe i'm getting a bit dramatic, but damnit i'm excited. only two more weeks...
4:15 p.m.
roasted green tea is good. it really does have a "rich and nutty flavor."
12:01 p.m.
12.07.2000
it's a wonderful feeling to have absolutely nothing to say. i'm feeling pretty damn wonderful these days.
i watched cool hand luke last night. great film. paul newman was superb as the non-conformist anti-hero (the type of character i greatly admire). i'll have to check out more of newman's 60's films like hud and harper.
5:09 p.m.
11.28.2000
the five day weekend came to an end in the blink of an eye. i watched movies, ate at a swanky country club on a golf course, bought records and read a lot.
i've always enjoyed the clash. in recent weeks, i've really immersed myself in them. i encourage anyone who's even remotely interested in the band to read a riot of our own and rent the film, rude boy. what are you waiting for? do it now!
02:38 p.m.
11.21.2000
my interest in the whole presidential election thing has evaporated over the last week or so. whatever the outcome, it doesn't really matter to me. so i don't pay much attention.
i did, however, pay attention to the newest issue of punk planet. in it, there are interviews with authors of books on each of the candidates. the interviews made me want to read the books because they dig up all kinds of dirt on both men. fortunate son, the book on bush, is available from soft skull press.
i picked the book up on the publisher's site and also came across an interesting book on the DC punk scene. had to pick that one up as well.
11:23 a.m.
11.17.2000
it's been a trying week. i came about as close as a person can get to being laid off. the company i work for cut 10% of their workforce and i was marked for banishment. fortunately (or unfortunately...given that i'd have gotten 2 months of severance pay), i was given a reprieve. some important corporate manager-type dude even apologized to me for putting me through such torment. interesting.
music's been getting me through this week. as it gets down to the last weeks of 2000, i'm starting to think about a list of the 10 best lps of the year. two potentials made their way into my collection this week. samiam's new one, astray, is perhaps the best thing they've done. i can't really say why it's so good. it's surprising to me that i think as much of it as i do, because the band's previous records have always been a bit hit-or-miss with me. this one is consistent from start to finish.
the other record i've played to hell this week is novena on a nocturn, by the good life. this tim kasher fellow, who's also in cursive, is an extraordinary songwriter. novena is a collection of songs he's written on the side during his time in cursive. they're a lot quieter than cursive's material, but no less effective.
10:49 a.m.
11.13.00
had nothing to do on saturday morning, so i made another trip to amoeba. i didn't think i'd find much, but i was wrong:
brandtson - letterbox
dambuilders - encendedor
dewey defeats truman - b-sides, rarities & out-takes
god's reflex - scenes from a motel seduction
the good life - novena on a nocturn
holiday matinee vol. 2 comp
nails of hawaiian - jazz
11:46 a.m.
11.09.2000
saw versus last night. they were good. but...as usual, i couldn't really get into the show. bands rarely move me anymore. even if i'm a big fan of the band's recorded material, i rarely get excited when i see them live. i wonder why i bother to go to shows. maybe it's because i'm hoping that there's some band out there that will knock me on my sorry ass and make me feel alive. or maybe i expect too much.
in versus' defense, they did put on a decent show. most importantly, they played "blade of grass," which is one of my favorite songs.
04:17 p.m.
11.08.2000
my movie madness continues, although it looks like i'm going to be hard-pressed to make it to 200 given my current pace.
159. interiors (11.02)
160. pickpocket (11.05)
161. the idiots (11.05)
162. the apartment (11.06)
04:43 p.m.
all this election madness is starting to get tiresome. confusing ballots, time-consuming recounts, you name it... it still seems like bush will be the winner. filmmaker michael moore has an interesting take on things.
4:20 p.m.
11.07.2000
sadly, one of the world's greatest and most uncompromising environmentalists has passed away.
2:13 p.m.
11.06.2000
i truly believe that television is a waste of valuable time. you're better off spending that time reading a book, listening to music, etc. having said that, there are exceptions. it's difficult to argue against the value of certain documentary programming. depending on your view of sports, you could make an argument for that i guess. the news? well...the news may be the least worthwhile thing on the air. don't get me started on that.
the point here is for me to sadly admit that i occasionally get hooked on some show. when i had cable, it was inside the actor's studio and vh-1's behind the music. for a few years, it was the x-files. for a brief time, i even found myself unable to stop watching mtv's the real world (los angeles and san francisco versions).
admitting that i get hooked on a tv show is embarrassing. but while i'm coming clean, i might as well admit to watching one current show every week. it's called the practice and it's the one show i make plans to watch every week (it's helpful that the show is on at 10pm on sunday, a time when i'm usually home). it's about a group of lawyers, and while i have no love for lawyers, i do like the show a great deal. it's extremely well-written and well-acted. almost all of the cases shown provide a well-rounded view of all the issues involved. it's entertaining and it occasionally makes you think, which is more than can be said of most shows
12:53 p.m.
11.04.2000
a lazy saturday afternoon...i'm not doing any of the things i promised myself i'd do. i did, however, make a mix tape for my friend jesse. i hope he enjoys it. i hope i get off my lazy ass to mail it before thanksgiving.
2:07 p.m.
11.03.2000
a trip to amoeba (SF) last night with kristina and denise resulted in the following purchases:
codeine - frigid stars
face to face - ignorance is bliss
gray matter - food for thought/take it back
shudder to think - pony express record
sore loser - ...is out to save the world
superdrag - in the valley of dying stars
all these were bargain bin items...6 cds for $17. not bad. the new superdrag is most excellent. i haven't listened to the rest yet.
2:20 p.m.
11.01.2000
came across an interesting interview with one of my favorite authors yesterday. everyone should read at least one of his books...if you can read, of course.
4:25 p.m.
due to unrestrained boredom at work (and that despite the fact that i often have plenty of work lately), i started this pita so i can document all of the wonderful things i find during the many hours i waste perusing the internet. as with my journal, i'm using the bare-bones template and not adding anything. with any luck, i'll figure out how i want them to look and spruce them up in the near future.
4:19 p.m.
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places to go:
froto
math of breath
oppress this
saturn
underachievers
us-against-them
the wire
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