|
a place where i sometimes write:
journal
old entries here:
nov.2000-jan.2001
feb.2001
march-apr.2001
write me here
|
5.21.2000
i find myself with a lot to say, but not too much awake time to say it. gotta get sleep so i can face the alarm clock at 7am and start another day. the daily work routine dominates my life monday through friday, even though i don't give a rat's ass about what i'm doing. that seems wrong somehow, doesn't it?
i saw this thing on the news tonight about homelessness in SF. some guy from channel 2 went out on the streets and tried to mix with homeless people by growing a 3-day beard and wearing "ratty" clothing. some of the interviews were interesting, but most were offensive. and the part where he set up some cardboard boxes in an alley to get some sleep...fuckin' please! the guy had a camera crew with him and he was on the streets for a few hours. if i was living on the streets and he came up to me, i would've been pretty resentful of this bastard knowing he'll be heading back to his surburban house with the two car garage.
anyway, the guy ended by saying that tomorrow some of these faces may be gone from the streets and that few people will remember them and fewer still will care. it upset me because what the fuck did this guy or the news station do for these people? did they try to do anything to help them out? all they did was go to commercial while showing the two dipshit anchors bowing their heads and looking all solemn. like they give a damn! i guess i shouldn't expect anything from a nightly news program. they just thought it would make for good tv to have a few juicy soundbites and some shots of people smoking crack and shooting up.
the point is, i got upset because i see folks like this every day. especially now that i'm working in the civic center area. i also see a lot of homeless people in the mission near where i live. i'm torn because i feel bad for people that are obviously suffering...yet at the same time i feel disgusted by the self-destructiveness of a lot of people who just want to get drunk or smoke/mainline themselves into oblivion. i get frustrated because it's a totally futile situation. what the hell can i do to help the problem? maybe some change i hand over will end up helping someone get a meal. maybe it'll go into their arm. why is one person more deserving of my help than another?
maybe i'm taking this stuff too seriously. but if you have any compassion at all for your fellow human beings and you see this stuff daily...it seems like it has to have an effect on you. i wish there were some easy answers...some solutions. of course there aren't. ah fuck...i'll shut up now. i don't even have any steam left to talk about the book i'm reading. tomorrow...
11:38 p.m.
5.20.2001
thanks to the generosity of francesca (she unselfishly gave me a credit slip she had), i picked up a great new book of interviews at black oak books today. published by SF's RE/search, the book has 4 lengthy interviews conducted by RE/search founder v. vale with henry rollins, billy childish, jello biafra and lawrence ferlinghetti. i just finished the rollins interview and it's great. i've always had mixed feelings about rollins. sometimes, he comes off as a giant asshole and i'm not a big fan of his rollins band stuff. but...black flag was pretty great and his writing and spoken word stuff are solid. he's intelligent, funny, well-read and passionate about the things he loves. the best parts of the interview are the sections where he goes off on his favorite authors...fitzgerald, hemingway, thomas wolfe. he's so enthusiastic it makes you want to hit the bookstore and pick up a bunch of their work.
can't wait to dig into the billy childish interview. now there's an interesting dude. one really cool thing about the book: after each interview, there's a list of book recommendations by each interview subject. looks like i might be up late tonight...
11:42 p.m.
5.17.2001
i've been sleeping a lot lately. don't know why. sleep has just been a priority as of late. going to bed by 10pm is out of character for me, but there must be a reason. old age? chronic fatigue? boredom? the true cause may forever remain a mystery.
when i am awake, i've been trying to read a lot. i'm still plowing through the book i bought at the library sidewalk sale a few weeks ago. it's nothing earth-shattering, but a pretty cool mystery set during turn-of-the century NY. the characters are good and the plot moves things along in a way that makes the thing difficult to put down. when i'm done with this one, the summer reading frenzy will really get under way. two new books by my favorite author, haruki murakami, are on deck. once they're done, it's on to the new one by irvine welsh. i hear he reprises some of the characters from trainspotting. can't wait... everyone put down that remote and pick up a book. as those geniuses from the NBA say, reading is...fundamental.
6:25 p.m.
5.08.2001
enough with this heat, already! where the hell is the coastal fog? not to get meteorological here, but i want some damn coastal fog! for the last two days, i've come home to an apartment that feels like a sauna. i can bake potatoes in here without the use of an oven. it's ridiculous. anyway, i think things should change over the next day or two.
well, the roommate is leaving at the end of the month and not a moment too soon. in particular, i won't miss her constant playing of a new wave hits of the 80's cd at earth-shaking decibel levels. part of me enjoys the nostalgia of cheesy new wave songs from my youth, but my roommate picks the most annoying ones and plays them over and over. if i hear "i eat cannibals" or "mickey" one more time, i may do something drastic. i took a look at the cd and it also has bow wow wow, the stray cats and a-ha. i'd rather hear any of those than the two she plays. and don't get me started on her playing the B-52s "my own private idaho" 10 times in a row. i can't listen to that song ever again. not that i like it much to begin with, but now it inspires feelings of rage that i'd rather not have...if you know what i mean.
if you're a baseball fan, don't miss 61 on hbo. i was surprised by how great this movie was. it's about the 1961 baseball season when roger maris of the yankees hit 61 homers, a record that stood until mark mcgwire hit 70 a few years ago. the best thing about the film (directed by billy crystal...another thing that surprised me) is the way it deals with the relationship between maris and mickey mantle. both men are complex characters under a lot of pressure for different reasons. barry pepper and thomas jane (neither of which i'd heard of) turn in excellent performances. even if you aren't a baseball fan, it's worth watching cause it's so well done.
6:54 p.m.
5.04.2001
lazy, lazy, lazy. maybe that should be my middle name. i can't seem to motivate to take 10 extra minutes a day to write a few sentences. it's a damn shame.
work at the judicial library is pretty good. today i discovered a cool benefit of working in the civic center area. on the first friday of each month, the public library has a sidewalk sale where they sell hardcover books for $1 and paperbacks for $.50. pretty sweet...i only had a few minutes, but i managed to pick up a novel i'd be wanting to check out.
a lot of good music out there right now. in particular, i'm really excited about the new juno record. pick it up from your good friends at desoto records.
6:16 p.m.
|
places to go:
froto
listen missy
math of breath
oppress this
saturn
underachievers
us-against-them
the wire
|
