Tuesday, May 6, 2003
Tuesday, May 6, 2003
hehe..late entry. -_= gonna go sleep soon but just wanna blog sth.
frosty...i hate ur comment box for the time being..i can't write my comments in it...bad bad comment box.... *grrr* so i am gonna write wat imma gonna say HERE...damn...i write so many things and yet it didn't turn up. *grrr* i didn't c the pics so anyone could just send me for my own pleasure when its my junjinie?okie back to serious note.well there are lots of possibilities to unanswered qns. junjin mite even cheographed everything and say its a blackmail, mayb its SM who sent someone to blackmail junjin.cos if someone shld do it,y wait till now rite?especially when their contract is ending.mayb its other company..we dun know. or really someone is out there to blackmail junjin.the possibilities are endless.well we can only now based on news but watever the result is. its still the same old junjin we are looking at. i still lub him.anyway i still wanna see him in nude...hahah...just joking. this is wat i wanna SAY!!! hahaa..the comment box like shu more than me...i tried thrice already. *grumpy*
anyway i have been listening to songs sang by MACHI..a new taiwan hip hop group. They got great songs thou they sang mostly in taiwanese(as in the dialect they speak there).thou i dun get wat they are singing some part in the songs but its nice.surprised to see that Jeff(the head of the grp) is actually one of the L.A Boyz.I loved the group when i was a lil weeny gurl.i recommend MACHI to all pple.they mite be the next big thing in asia hip hop culture. i am listening to this song "Zui Ai"(chinese) and i find kinda funny is the part where they went "(Love most) to watch your ass,(Love most) when its real hot(???),(Love most) let me play let me play" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA actually i translated literally into english so it mite sound strange...but when u listen to them singing that...OMG!!!! that sentence above really sound funny...wat love to watch ur ass...let me play...hahaha omg.thats real...sexual hahah but its one of the new songs i heard.i heard "Jump!Work IT"(Missy Eillot's WORK IT),"MACHI"(real nice gangster song),"I lived for you".all are nice and all in dialects and its kinda really like songs toking abt getting it with gurls...they are all head and heels over those pretty ladies.
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 01:15 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, May 5, 2003
Monday, May 5, 2003
hahaha frosty..i think i must be real bad quitting my part time job but i dun really like working there so no point going there to work if i dun feel like it.besides i am still not confirmed over there so its okie for them.my friends says that if i really dun like working there mite as well quit..so i quit..hahaha...i WAS working as an assistant at an enrichment centre for kids.i WAS doing multitasking things at the centre.i got one brain and two hands but i got to do many things..with both of that.btw,that pizza dude doesn't look like hykuie or minwooie...i still haven't find a lookalike of wooie and junjinnie..haha surprised u asked if he's korean.he's not.i tink he looks eurasian.anyway i also wanna have korean friends..any pple to intro me to?guys?hahaha *wink wink*
well i got something to say which shu mite be there grumbling again. i dreamt of JtL and kang Ta...mayb due to the fact i was totally engrossed into finding pics of wonnie and tony for my webbie things.i dun remember wat kangta was all abt..i think i was having exams or sth and kangta was there. JtL's part was funny...we were in a supermarket shopping race or sth.you know there's a race where u run around a supermarket with a shopping cart for a certain time and grabbed things listed on a paper kinda things.YAH!! i am with wonnie and of cos hyukie with tony. I don't know if we're a team or wat but we just ran together and looking for some chinese herbs..and all of us were asking pple around us where we could find this thing. and looking all at shelves and reading the names of the packages to find the correct one. then it just ended like this cos i woke up suddenly and realized that it was already 1pm...which is kinda late for me to be awake so i had to pull myself out of bed.
sometimes it really bothers me.lately these few mths..i could continue my dreams the next day...sometimes i remember i came to this dream b4 but now i am in a different situation. Its as if i had had the dream b4. I can't tell u why i kept dreaming of choti members..its not that i wanted.In the beginning,i dreamt of choti when i get sick. nowadays i dream of them when i do too much of choti stuff when i am abt to sleep.even stranger thing...y i kept dreaming and remembering of wonnie????y??????i wanna dream and remember hyukie... :( mayb i would force myself to tok to hyukie the next time i dream of them.haha.and mite as well confess my lub for him too.ahaha...get married and have kids...ahhaa...okie..i am dreaming too far away.don't know if all these can be done in one dream..ahhaha..
Shinhwa has been released from SM...don't know if it's a gd thing or bad one. Its SM's loss that they let go of H.O.T,S.E.S and Shinhwa.babo them.Hope Shinhwa can do as well as without SM as their company.actually i really find the name SHINHWA unique and special.
frosty,your name is already too turnished for it to be clean already,so bare with it...did i say bare?hahah. shu, its alrite to chat on my taggie..cos no one used this taggie.
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 12:23 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, May 1, 2003
Thursday, May 1, 2003
lalalalalalalala....yippie...*thou i shldn't sound happy*
I....quit....my....part...time...job.... --!
well i am kinda happy cos i dreaded going work there...and mite as well save trouble for me and the 2 bosses there...cos i don't intend to stay long there...worked for a few days and really think i can't work there...it seems as if i worked there for wks kinda feeling...this is the only job i so dreaded going to...others that i worked for are all okie
but seriously ...nearby there's a pizza shop and there is a gd looking guy...geesh...how i wish i could get his name n contacts...he's so cute.i think i shld b there working but i always look forward to seeing him...hahaha...crush crush...geesh...i shld b loyal to hyukie...i must...
well i still got part time job offers from ma friends...so i'll c one by one...mayb i could find one part time job that i can settle down with.well i always still got my full time job to go with.
shu dong seng...yup yup...i am older than u and frosty...geesh but i really wished i had a older unnie or oppa virtually...preferably arnd choti oppadeuls' age.Do take gd care of urself and get enough sleep whenever u can and good luck in ur studies
frosty dongseng... i call choti, oppa ,too...cos i got no one to call oppa so dun worry...i know who u are refering to....haha i am jealous of ur dreams abt minwooie...well i had some "close" encounters with pple whom i really known in life...but never had any with choti...shinhwa..geesh...hmm okie i'll tell u one..its the dream abt taya and hyesung cos thats the dream i kinda still remember even till now...duno y...in the dream i was somewhere where there are shophouses on both side of a walkway...kinda like Chinatown feeling.then i was sitting somewhere on the steps leading down to a shop. there sitting beside me was hyesung oppa and we were conversing in korean.we seemed to be waiting for someone cos we kept looking out at the pple walking on the streets.Just then, i saw kang ta oppa walking towards us and we just stood up and walked towards him and i greeted him ahn nyeong ha sae yo and then also converse in korean and was there laughing and soon 3 of us are talking together,laughing,smiling...it was such a nice dream.i felt so close to kangta oppa.i also had quite a lot of dreams of choti..cheering them when they are singing...being veri close distance but not that close as u and minwooie...*jealous* hahahah...we laughed,joked. i still remember i had a dream of them coming to my house too. its so funny cos one by one they peaked in.ironically tony was the funnier one beside the forever funny heejunnie. they are that funny when they are in H.O.T times..i missed them in H.O.T times...the memories...the laughters...the tears...everything.i love them.
btw...hyukie's bday is COMING!!!!HELP ME REMEMBER PLS!!!I DUN WANNA FORGET!!!!
~thank you~ just in case i really forget
HAPPY ADVANCE BDAY MAH DARLING!!!!!!!! - wish u gd luck in watever u do and happiness forever and also hope ur NEWEST dance academy is always earning lots and lots of money and producing top quality dancers...lots of lub from the luv you won't know
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 11:50 p.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, April 27, 2003
Sunday, April 27, 2003
YO YO YO!!!! bloggin in bright n early man....hahaha well...ermm its noon...WATEVER...hahahah
bro is out so gotta lay my hands on the comp. hahaha....hmmm the part time job imma telling abt in the previous blogs...well it was kinda tough.i was paid by the hrs i worked.and that boss really make u work till the boss thinks that wat u do really worth every cents n dollars u earned...geesh...i have to remember so many things on the first day...they got their own ways of working around there.then the 2nd day i work there...i have to handle more than one thing at the same time.geesh and another boss who i was assigned to hinted that i am kinda slow..if the workload gets heavier i mite b considered even slower...tell me for the next wk i'll be assigned to this boss and get familiarised with my surroundings...geeesh..imma gonna be dead for sure next wk...hope i can handle the things for me to come. my friend introduced me to this job and she had b4 hand told me that its gonna be tough...but i never know that its gonna b THAT tough...well she worked for 1 yr already so i think i can grind ma teeth and pull it thru,..i can't give up...ma friend initially wanted to quit after one day of working there...but she hold on and pull thru...well i hope i can...if i really can't...i think i have to give up...but i kept telling myself that there are a lot of pple working there who are working like hell too...if they can...i must try to make it work too...but i can tell u...the way the system there is run by...is veri messy...i dun think they organized their way of running the place properly...watever they think of,they add it in..then they would in the end forget wat this is wat that is....its so messy....i seemed to b working in a busy stock exchange place...geesh...
enough of my lamenting...if not for the $$$$ and the short working hrs...i won't wanna work there...geesh. ahahahha still i think i got to learn to familiarize with everything asap...
i got funny dreams these few days...but its so gd...i gotta be cozy and upclose and personal with pple whom i like...geesh...where's choti or even hyukie when these things happen?i wanna b with them .....hahaha >.<
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 03:07 p.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, April 25, 2003
Friday, April 25, 2003
yuppez...in for a quick and hopefully short blog.HEHE...
well i got ma part time job. starting from tml(which is today~after i finish ma typing, go to sleep on ma comfy bed and wake up feeling sleepy again). Hope everything works out fine, heard the lady boss is a lil picky. wish me luck.
well frosty i think i did sound unhappy or something, mayb its becos i had a bad start this wk.kinda sucky week for me. other than that i am fine. not veri happy head over heals type but just fine.doing just okie. no worries. oh u doing pyscholoy?i am kinda interested in that subject too. well i think if i got the $$$ i think i just need help from those pple.
alas nevermind, i try to live ma life happy for the pple whom care abt me and pple whom i care too.
psst frosty...IMMA LUB U!!!!! *hugs and kisses* i'll support u in watever u do too :) and i am still waiting for u to tell ur dream abt minwooie...remember ya...
take care n c ya all around *muacks*
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 01:00a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, April 24, 2003
Thursday, April 24, 2003
O_o o_O O_o o_O O_o o_O
getting dizzy?
i got such a busy early wk at work. Worked overtime with no increase pay :X and got my boss breathing down my neck to rush 3 things that supposed to be out the following next day plus he came with the things at arnd 6pm...then i have to work till 10pm =_-. I can tell u he nearly blew his top off when i ran into some difficulties cos i dun really get wat he meant...well...and plus i had a bad stomache that day...geesh...talk abt timing...well was RELIEVED when now everything is over thou my boss still nags that i haven't done a perfect job thou. its partly ma fault too..so i can't blame him for scolding me
on top of ma work now...i think i had to get another part time job to earn some more money for ma family...and for myself...just hope i won't be stressed out juggling on two jobs(well most prob if i can get the part time job ma friend is offering..i mite only work 2 or 3 days a week)...dun wanna get a nervous breakdown...but still all comes to $$$$$$...wonder y this cruel world needs $$$$...well as i said...its cruel...so... :(
i still can't see my future up ahead...aigo...i really shld do some planning...but if i can choose...i would be a teacher or a vet nurse or helper...anything to do with animals. mayb some stuff with music is also great...i always like to do something concerning music.
well lately i have been in touch with frostedsnow-a sex maniac(you got to read her blog to understand) and shu-a ficcie maniac(i c myself reading quotes from the fics she read in her blog and she's also head over heals over choti too.) quite a lot which i think its great way of contact too thou i have only known shu not long ago.
if frosty is sex maniac and shu is ficcie maniac...i think i can call myself a delusional/depression maniac...i really wonder whether i could live past the age of 30 if i go on with my life like this....
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 12:30 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, April 17, 2003
Thursday, April 17, 2003
hmmm these days, B.O.R.E.D....thou i have two website proj on hand...its non work related.hahaha and one its related to choti...hahaha so excited...mite get it up in a wk or two...or mayb three...well...haha...
yesterday cos i spent most part of my nite doing choti related stuff i got to dream of them in ma dreams.well..i come to realize that mayb its better to see them in my dreams. Get to be close with them in my dreams and we are like friends. Well we were laughing at something i don't remember.Funny thing is that i always remember wonnie clearly than any others... :( where's my hyukie...y i can't remember anything abt him. Well they were singing and wearing clothes that they wore in their Candy days,the fluffy clothes with painted strip on their face. They laughed and sang...and i suddenly realize that they are singing in...cantonese and not in korean. @_@! wondering where the cantonese part came from cos i dun speak cantonese at all and i hardly understand cantonese...but in my dreams i seem to figure out what they are singing abt.ya know when u dream u seems to understand wat u are doing in ur dream.even thou the language the pple speak is different from wat language u speak. Once i had a dream of hyesung and kangta(imagine i still can laugh when i remember what i dreamt of),they were speaking in korean and I perfectly spoke to them in korean,thou my korean sux.i can't carry a conversation fully in korean. when i woke up, i was like "WOAH".
sometimes i was wondering if i shld grow up on the idolizing phase. yesterday i spoke to one of ma friend abt whether she is still in touch with any korean music(she lurved TURBO *once* and choti too),she just say that she is just listening to songs that she can understand now. Well a lot of my friends don't know i like choti. If they know or some whom knows me knows, they would ask "y korean?", "you don't understand wat they are singing"...well...i don't know.it just clicked...from the day i saw WRTF video...everything just started. Now when i listen to any of their music on the train or sth, i would just listen as if i know wat they are singing.i think its the music...sometimes i get lost in it and becomes part of the music @_@! its become part of me. something so strong it seems to be unbreakable like a bond. I would sometimes even tell myself y i like them?ya know listening to music that i dun really understand, its just the timing and stuff.if i never seen the WRTF video, i won't even step into korean music in the first place.mayb becos they help me thru rough times that i got to rely on them. becos they are someone i look up to.
my mom asked me a qn:"WHO U LOOK UP TO BESIDES IDOLS?". well...i am utterly shocked...cos i don't have an ans.i don't look up to anyone i am with after some consideration. geesh is that so useless?the only ans i have in my heart is CHOTI. thats it.
btw pple.i need help.i wanna change my tag board.thou i found out "TAG-BOARD" also eats up msgs and limit words to 200, the replies are also at the top,unlike the board i am using now, which the replies are below but there are no word limit(is there??).so which?Tag-board or stick with the one i had?let me know. -_<
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 12:56 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, April 13, 2003
Sunday, April 13, 2003
2 entries in a day...woah hard to see me doing this and i got a feeling its still gonna b a long blog.
I wanted to blog abt my shopping spree but saw frostedsnow and shu's comments on my tag board i forget wat i wanna say >.<
nothing much today, i went out on secret date with my gf(both of us are straight!!!erm..not saying lesbians or gays are not gd...i am neutral to everything.).
Went to buy cdrs and saw this stack of cdrs with animals from the chinese horoscope printed on the cd. VERI CUTE!! i shall show u guys next time i blog and i am thinking of getting an IR port for my comp. then we went to walk around shops searching for somethings ma friend needs.I bought comfy and cheap slippers(or shld i call slip ons??)...nice slippers with shiny things attached to the strapes. mite show it too...then went to settle some stuff for ma friend's handphone. then we went to buy nail polish for ourselves...i bought two which is about the same colors and are shiny ones(but i tried it when i came home..not really the colors i expected).Went for our dinner which is quite ex to me and off to arcade for some games and action to end our day. Well..kinda lame...sorrie...and ma friend says that she intend to write in her blog that i bump into her 3 times...well...i "estimated" the space between me and her WRONGLY when we are running across the street or getting down from escalator or getting down from the bus.haha but i really bumped into her quite a lot today...
geesh and i found out i spent quite a lot today AGAIN...a big burn in my pocket..*thk u thk u...ma cash donation box is still open for donation...pls kindly donate...thk u thk u*okie i know pple...you guys are going to wack me...i think i need to keep tab of ma spending...thou i dun spend a lot..but i need to know how much i spend everytime i goes out.I still need to get a earphone.
to shu: well i will cry my heart out if anything happens to choti oppa deul. hope anything bad won't happen to them.when kangta DUI got into accident i was so sad and disappointed at him but i know pple make mistakes but i was so scared that kangta mite get killed or sth...worried for heejun too cos he fell down so many times and not to mention my hyukie.
to frostedsnow:hey gurl thks for your comment.i know wat u mean but i face the reality of choti.no point saying anything much.i still love choti veri veri much...dun worry...i put my heart n soul loving them without asking for any gd returns...mayb just to see them smile and care for us, overseas fans,sincerely...
*i feel like crying again.heart pain..geesh i saw ma heart broken into small pieces which is now held by duct tapes and healing slowly.i haven't recovered yet...geesh...this is bad.i must be crazy. h.e.l.p*
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 01:54 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, April 13, 2003
Sunday, April 13, 2003
freak...geesh...aigo...i am an idiot to my own designs faults and blurness and a real newbie to pitas...geesh...until recently i realize that i updated my blog with many mistakes floating around waiting for me to discover and of cos i did changes to it...well i'll be careful the next time i do a layout change to my blog...else anyone can just wack me in the head...
to frostedsnow and shu(the 2 gurls who really make use of ma so lonely tag board - which i intend to change since i realize this board eats up pple's past comments) , imma no crazy crazy or even real fan of leslie...imma always veri emotional and ya know its a life wasted..ya know i can cry if i watch a sad movie...i think in my past blog i can say that i can even go for those contest which wants pple in cry in 30 secs..i think i can do it...hahaha...imma only big big crazy crazy thou not "superb till crazy and no respect" fan of choti oppadeul...other artistes can't be measured to them...thou i dun have anything much to show pple i am a true blue fan of choti...cos i got too many burnt out pockets...hahaha *accepting kind donations from anyone...thk u thk u*.
Well i cried when hwansung oppa went up to heaven too...cos its such a waste of life too...well...lots of waste of life in this world...well...tot of this...i wanna say my retirement plan...i am considering migrating to toronto,canada when i grow old old with no teeth...geesh dun know when it would be...mayb then i would hobble with my walking stick and go search for frostedsnow...we will play chess...or anything fit for old grannies...dance tango...or cha cha...hhahahah...ma dad says toronto is a nice place to be in...well never been there..any one can tell me if toronto is a nice comfort place to live in?then i mite go there for retirement...hahaha...
well previous few few blogs away i mentioned of putting hamsters pics i took...not my hamsters btw...hope you people enjoy
Never seen a hamster go to this extreme sleeping like this
Hey watch how you sleep, gurl...you mite expose urself!
Okie i know you are hungry...dun need to go to this extend to show me.
Taking a break during house cleaning
pls take note that all hamsters in the pictures shown are not harmed in any way...its just their sleeping patterns that i took,erm...without their permission thou...i will ask them next time...i find it real funny especially the first one...that is the first time in ma life that i saw a hamster sleeping like this.
this blog is long...forgive me...
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 12:58 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, April 10, 2003
Thursday, April 10, 2003
10 days since Leslie Cheung(HK's pop singer) left this world...he left behind heartbroken fans and friends and relatives...
i felt sad even thou i don't really know him...but its kinda funny knowing he's not living anymore(even as secs,mins,hrs,days went by)...i cried when i see the funeral n wakes and stuff about him all over tv news. Sad. Don't know why he really chose commiting suicide to end his life. mayb he's like me...think that he can't solve his problems even with his friends around who are willing to lend a hand to him, and thinks that the simple way to end his problems is to simply end his life....i dun know...mayb he ain't anything like me...but we both are perfectionist(but he is more into perfection than i am)...well I nearly did wat he did but at the last min, i sorted things out but things aren't easy after that still, there is always this barrier...and whenever i am real sad and really really down, i think of death...its straight forward and nothing to think abt...its always thinking that death can solve everything. However i know this ain't the way...i always feel as wat pple had say...mayb someone powerful up there(heaven) knows u can handle this kind of stress...that's why they let u handle it,knowing u are capable of solving the problem on hand. A quote i took from this person(YeahPC) who left his msg in my tag board "The world is but a playground, only the sand could make your trip easier....". I find it quite meaningful and true.
Thou my life ain't that perfect as the life i had last time, i still tell myself that i had to be strong, overcome the thought of "death can solve everything". Clutch my fist and grind my teeth to go thru the tough times, think abt choti...if they can...i can...thats y they mean everything to me...but of cos i dun mean anything to them...i am zero...if really one day anything happen to me...hopefully someone who sees this blog and mite happen to see/know chot...pls tell them i love them really really much....thk u.
okie i have said wat i have said for my virtual will,hope someone can do that for me one day
okie...on the happy note: i got less work load this week and i got to go home and plop down on my comfy bed and went straight into dreamland(i haven't taken my bath yet). I had to even force myself to wake up from my sleep,thou my body ain't waking up. Take my bath and spent some time in front of the compie, then head back to sleep...yep yep...getting some hrs back frm last wk's "loss of sleep due to heavy work load" hahaha...
Rest In Peace Leslie Cheung aka kor kor(brother) You will forever be remembered in people's heart...
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 12:23 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, March 31, 2003
Monday, March 31, 2003
omg...its been such a long time since i last blogged @_@
well been VERI busy this week with work...icks...i wanna go for a HOLIDAY!!!!!- -! *i am protesting here*...I WANT A BREAK!!!I WANT A BREAK!!!!japan,korean,taiwan....anywhere i can shop...erm..thou my bank account dun look any where promising enough for a holiday n a shopping spree...geesh... :(
well i can't go much of anywhere...cos the scary SARS(the flu thingie that got most of Asia...), i dun wanna get caught by that scary flu bug...there isn't a cure yet...hope some GREAT DOC OR SCENTIST finds one soon...else more will die and i dun want that happening...the WAR is already enough for now...i got no powers to stop war nor the SARS virus...
anyway...me and my friend got into a discussion abt BGR....hahaha fancy a gurl n a guy talking abt that...yup we did...ahahha and we poor souls are there comforting one another...ahaha thou we both agree there are gd n bad on being single n attached...BUT both of us are comfy abt having to b single now...thou i have my hyukie besides me ^^ and fancy me telling my planning of life to my friend,sometimes its kinda strange telling this *things* to a guy BUT i dun care...hahaha...me and my gurl friends are all comfy abt talking anything with guys arnd, thou we ain't sure if they are comfy abt that thou...WE DUN CARE!!!hahaha...
The discussion ends with i think both of us agreeing that "It's better to be loved than to love someone", its will b tiring if u are always the one that does the "loving someone" job...everyone would want to b loved by the other...soak urself in the affection of the other..yah know...but you have to love someone back once in a while cos it will b fair to your other half....be loved and love ur other half back too...its the same meaning to "to give and to take"
for a very long time, my friends always look up to me for some ans or comfort when they faced with love problems, thou i have lil experience in the love department,they would still find me(mayb they just want me to listen)...i am always curious abt WHY THEY FIND ME??? do i look like someone who had more experience than them?DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WITH ANS??? sometimes i give comments to my friends which they would say i am not answering their qn and say i am not of much help... --!
funny thing...it kinda hurts my feelings for them to say that, when its their problem that they find me and they can't always expect me to give them ans rite?i have times when i dun have an ans to that too....*angry angry*
ps:frosty, thks for ur comments,love ya...i'll surely come to ur blog whenever i have time on my hand and make my comments to ya too,just hope u don't feel i am a chatterbox or a nuisance cos i am a long-winded gurl who doesn't shorten her words. hehe :) catch up with ya soon *tata*
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 01:59 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, March 23, 2003
Sunday, March 23, 2003
well well...these days my life kinda sux a bit...got quite a few quarrel with my dad over some things...kinda sux...i hate it...hahaha i think it must b my PMS all working out...hahaha getting angry or pissed over lil things...hahaha...okie okie...
went out for dinner n movie with few of my friends...long time since i meet up with them. We went to watch "Just Married",its a real nice movie...u can really laugh out at wat they did n the lead actor is...WOAH...cute..handsome...yum yum...hahaha...he real hottie...so cute...The show makes you keep feeling that nothing will ever come out gd between them when finally everything piece out properly in the end...i kept thinking that this couple is forever in bad luck or sth...but its not...hahaha
i always believe "everything will be fine after all the bad things that happen...".
wanted to post some hamster pics i have taken but my web hosting site is temporarily down so i have to wait till its up and working to let u guys see the pics. WARNING: Its DARN CUTE!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 01:34 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
this day that just past isn't gd...not gd...i got so pissed off with my bro. I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!
my dad asked him to do sth for him n in the end he did a lil of it and left most untouched...and i have to do another half for HIM!!!!he spent the whole day playing computer games....shit...f***
the thing was kinda urgent for my dad and he doesn't even tell off my bro for not doing it...even thou my dad know he's playing comp games...its so UNFAIR!!!!i have to work my ass off the whole day and still help my dad and there is my bro relaxing his ass off...shit...and when my dad used the comp for his stuff..he keep calling me for HELP when he could call my bro...then i asked my bro y he don't go, he replied that i am the next person to use the comp so i shld b the one helping dad n not him...SHIT!...i feel like smashing my bro's face into the wall...
i got so pissed that i went to the toilet to cool off(a quiet place to be in than any part of the hse)...i stayed in there for nearly half an hr...and i was thinking if i just kill myself in the toilet...no one in the whole darn family would know it....till the time someone wanna use the toilet then i think they would know...its so patheticly true...and it comes down to the fact i wanted to cry...its so unfair...my parents are always forever like "you gotta set an example for ur bro...blah blah blah" and whenever my bro did sth wrong, they would just say "we have done our best...if he doesn't listen,no one can help him" and they just leave him like that to rot till his worst...and blame me for not looking after him...F***...shit...
i feel like having someone to give me a hug...i don't wanna go back to my old self...i dun wanna...i'm so scared i would go crazy...so scared...
i miss choti oppadeul...its been a long long time since i missed them...but so sad to know that they dun even know i existed...so sad to even know i worked hard,setting them as a goal and coming to the sad and a fact i dun wanna face...that they dun know i exist...
i'm listening to a song for Aaliyah "Miss You"...and this are some extracts from the song...dedicated to choti...
"It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do
Said I been needing you
I'm wanting you
Wondering if you're the same
and who's been with you
Is you're heart still mine
I want to cry sometimes
I miss you"
"Now you're gone
And I'm lost without you here now
But I know I gotta live and make it somehow"
"Now I'm sitting here
Thinking about you
And the days we used to share
It's driving me crazy
I don't know what to do
I'm just wondering if you still care
I don't want to let you know
That it's killing me
I know you got another life
You got to concentrate"
"Come back to me
Can you hear me (calling)
Hear me (calling for you)
For you"
"I can't think no more
Since you went away
I don't really feel like talking
No one here to love me
Baby do you understand me
I can't do a thing without you"
anyone cares?????????? i think no one cares...i'm just with myself...
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 12:52 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Saturday, March 15, 2003
well well well...wats the comment on the NEW layout i have been talking abt since months ago...hahha i finally do up my bloggie...give it fresh look(i can now face jtl without a feeling of hurt...thou its down to the minimum.Now with this layout i will be facing them everytime i see my blog,hahaha...)
i think that this layout is not bad..hahaa thou i can still improve on it...make it better but i think i leave it as it is, else i would drag n drag again and it will be "dun know when" this layout will b up in this bloggie, but i promise the next layout wld be better too... :)
hope this brings a brand new start to my bloggie too...well these days got very busy with work.It just keeps on coming n coming n coming...dun seems to stop.
oh yah...i went for a haircut n everyone who sees me are all in shock...hahaha they ask wat i have done to my hair...ehh...hahaha...*wink wink* wat else i got..i got new slip on shoes n new mobile phone...ahhaha cause me a burn in my pocket for my phone...*sob sob*
~~~~~~~~~~~ Sleeping at 03:03 a.m. in hyukie's arms ~~~~~~~~~~~
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