You feel as if you have missed out in a great deal that life had to offer .. and you go about trying to make up for past failures ..Naturally at times you get depressed ... and you try to compensate for your "missed opportunities" by living your life to the full ... This is what, perhaps, may be described as "living with exaggerated
intensity". In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again ..and it could be that you are right.
Recently you have been experiencing considerable mental anguish and turmoil. You are bored and discontent. Nothing seems to be going right for you. Even your relationships aren't working out and you don't quite know which way to turn.
Enough is enough ... But the problems never seem to stop. They never stop.. You feel, and maybe you are right, that the problems seem to go on and on ...and you have indeed had more than your fair share of trials and tribulations. But to give you credit ...You bounce back - Time again and again.... you stick to your beliefs because deep down you have that inner knowledge, that "belief" system that in the end -everything will turn out OK...and you are right....it will!
Whatever has caused the situation...you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet.
But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord...you are like the tide,.. flotsam and jetsam...One minute you experience "highs" and a few moments later "lows". This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and it is the demanding attitude, the ideal state you desire, is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you...and you find it difficult to listen to, or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle, and you strive to ally yourself with others of similar tastes.
You really like doing what you do and more than that, you like yourself. Your attitude to work and to life is that "If its not fun - then don't do it" You want to be liked and respected, not for who you are but, for what you are.. and it seems to be working..
The danger with these kinds of things is the tendency to apply the description to one's personality. There are studies which show psychology students read descriptions of mental illnesses and see how they have the same symptoms. It is a delusion of applying something that minimally exists and exaggerating it beyond what really does. I've done enough color tests to know that red is associated with manic-like, outgoing behavior. Black is associated with depression-like behavior. My favorite colors are red and black. They have been for a long time. Does that mean I have a low-key manic-depressive attitude? Wait... my sign is Aries, whose principle planet is Mars, which is the Red Planet! Oh, no! I need to find a mental ward!
What would I do with a blanket? It felt like 80 degrees outside and it's frickin' February! This /dev/blanket blanket has me considering it. What about the U R Getting Sleepy t-shirt?
Have to stop looking at these geek sites... I keep wanting to buy t-shirts, mugs, even now a blanket...
Posted by Ezra - Comment in Guestbook
[Saturday, February 9, 2002] [05:33 p.m.]
Think the AutoRecover feature is the best feature of Word. I mean, Windows is so unstable anyway, right. And you never know when you might be working on the most important document ever and the power goes off unexpectedly. It completely surprised me to learn that Excel 2000 does not have AutoRecover while Excel XP does. I guess others felt the same way and asked M$ to add it?
Posted by Ezra - Comment in Guestbook
[Saturday, February 9, 2002] [05:20 p.m.]
Great... there will soon be only 2 stores within 20 miles of where I live that actually sell clothes my size. The Duck Head outlet is closing. I only found out about it and another one just after Christmas. At least I got 2 dress shirts for work for dirt cheap.
Posted by Ezra - Comment in Guestbook
[Saturday, February 9, 2002] [04:32 p.m.]
Maybe we are playing AD&D 2nd ed. today, maybe not. Still, going to be prepared for it. Going to Tally tomorrow. Will suck it up and buy a Zip 250 drive so I can again use my disks. I was planning on waiting until I get closer to buying a new computer, but that keeps getting pushed back. Why wait when I don't really know when I will get around to the other?
Playing a lot of Warcraft II at home and some of the Sims. It is a struggle not to become a Sims addict. Only thing saving me, I think is my lack of a decent computer at home, so it is pretty slow. I have been looking at skins, objects, and stuff that is available online. Too much stuff, but I like too much for some reason...
Paranoid about your software spying on you? Before you install (or even after you have), look it up in SpyChecker database. You might also install Ad-Aware. I've seen lots of glowing reviews of it.
Posted by Ezra - Comment in Guestbook
[Saturday, February 9, 2002] [10:40 a.m.]
That drool you see? It's not over some girl that walked by my office window. It's over the email Amazon sent telling me that Robotech - The New Generation DVDs are on their way. Guess you think I am really a geek, huh?
Yeppers!
I've never seen the show for these, but I've read the books a dozen times and know the story better than I know much of anything. I knew the show was on TV. My cousins all over the country had it. We didn't. I did get to see it on a super poor VCR copy back in college.
So you see... my favorite books of all time are coming to me on DVD.
Posted by Ezra - Comment in Guestbook
[Thursday, February 7, 2002] [03:46 p.m.]
Plans are good. No, really. They give you some basis upon which to act besides just your current thinking.
Posted by Ezra - Comment in Guestbook
[Wednesday, February 6, 2002] [02:17 p.m.]
Some quotes... "Every horse thinks his own pack heaviest."
--Thomas Fuller "You live by choice, not by chance."
"It isn't that they can't see the solution.
It's that they can't see the problem."
-- G. K. Chesterton
"Prepare yourself for the world, as the athletes used to do for their exercise; oil your mind and your manners, to give them the necessary suppleness and flexibility; strength alone will not do."
--Earl of Chesterfield
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[Wednesday, February 6, 2002] [09:14 a.m.]
Yeah, I have been lax... I know... It's the Sims, the rebuilding my computer at work, and playing catchup, I swear! Anyway, we are all archived up and ready to rumble. AOL cries to the Department of Justice almost on a quarterly basis about what Microsoft did by integrating MSIE with Windows or making Windows incompatible with Netscape. About the same time the start another lawsuit they try to prevent competing instant messenger programs from accessing their system. Am I missing something?
The company that cries "foul" for the rest of the world is itself attempting to change their network to make other instant messengers incompatible.
"... My hypocracy knows no bounds" -- Doc Holiday, Tombstone
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[Wednesday, February 6, 2002] [09:00 a.m.]
