RANT ~ Thursday, May 17, 2001 ~ 1:22 PM

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last few weeks, by now you've all probably heard about the case of Nathaniel Brazill, the 14-year-old who shot his English teacher in the head because he got sent home early for playing with water balloons. If you've heard that, then I'm sure you've heard all the accompanying nonsense about how it's not fair that this "child" should be tried as an adult. *sigh* This sort of blatant stupidity is why I want to exterminate humanity, or at least limit reproduction rights to people with at least some proven intelligence.

Today Nathaniel Brazill was convicted of second-degree murder. I was sitting here, reading the articles and getting more and more irritated with statements such as "The defendant is too young to appreciate the consequences of the offense" and, the real prize of the day, "It's not fair. You do one thing, and your whole life is ruined, and you go to jail forever!" Yes someone actually said this - granted he was a child himself, but he's really too stupid to be quoted in any respectable forum. *makes a face* I don't suppose it occured to him to wonder how fair Barry Grunow's murder was for his wife and children.

For the love of God, how can people be so retarded? The kid shot his teacher in the head because he got sent home from school! If he was old enough to kill a man, then he's old enough to serve the same sentence any other murderer would. Anyone who thinks "oh, but he's just a kid, he didn't MEAN to shoot his meany teacher between the eyes" probably needs to be sterilized. I don't want them reproducing in my world because I want my world to be free of people like Nathaniel Brazill - people who think that violence is the only answer to every minor problem that arises, people who are allowed to get away with something so pathetically and stupidly unnecessary by people who are just as stupid and unecessary. I am all for sentencing Brazill to a life sentance without parole. Even though Brazill is a "child," he has done something so adult and so heinous that I don't believe he should ever be allowed back into society – plus I’m afraid he might be released and his DNA allowed back into the gene pool, a tragedy I simply cannot morally allow.

To all the people who wonder if Brazill has the capacity to understand his sentance, I say this: actions have consequences. It's as simple as that. That's something I was taught all my life and something ALL children should know. Of course, I was also taught that you don't go shoot people. Maybe his parents just missed the first lesson when they forgot to teach him the second. Yet another reason I intend to take over the world and institute mandatory birth control....

A 13-year-old cold-blooded killer is STILL a cold-blooded killer. I just wish people would open their eyes and relize the capacity their precious little children have for violence. And then I wish they'd DO something about it.

Comments are welcome at Starfire_child@yahoo.com.

Oooh, tired ~ Tuesday, May 15, 2001 ~ 11:31 PM

I got up this morning and went over to JRC to work on the concrete canoe. Jess and I put down the second layer of the 20 inch wide section we started on last night. We went back tonight to put on the third layer, but someone else had already done it, so we just helped fix the gunnels on the practic boat. We're getting up tomorrow to meet Stu at 10 to do more work sanding and stuff. We might even get to help him machine the letters out of the section we were working on. ;-)

I've decided to throw all of my free time into ASCE. I figure it's a nice worthy cause - education and university support and all. San Diego is a nice perk, granted, but I think I'd be doing it anyway. It's great experience and a really good way to make connections. Plus, I've already learned a lot of the practical side of civil engineering in just the last two days. The paddling is fun too and good exercise. Spencer's even thinking about joining just to paddle and he's a psychology student! I think the majority of my friends think I'm nuts. However, the ones that don't think I've lost it recognize my current state as that of a civil engineer thouroughly enjoying her major. *grin* I suppose they're right. I've finally found a group that enjoys what I enjoy and I've started making friends while learning to do what I'm interested in. I don't think it gets much better than this.

Heh, Jen, I'm glad you're finally reading Mists of Avalon. If you get the chance, check out Black Trillium also by Marion Zimmer Bradley. It's actually written by her and two other authors, Julian May and Andre Norton, but it's really good. It's more of a fantasy genre, though. There is also a prequel to Mists called The Forest House and a sequel called The Lady of Avalon. Those are good too. :-) Maybe that'll give you something else to go away and read when your family gets too annoying.

Other than ASCE, there's really not much else going on in my life. This is Huntsville, after all. *grin* I had my first Statistics class today - mindnumbingly boring, as expected. We have a Vampire game on Saturday (which I'm considering skipping), but that's not really anything important. Pretty much, things are back to their nice, boring, normal state! *contented sigh*

Current Music: "Do You Sleep" - Lisa Loeb

New Semester ~ Monday, May 14, 2001 ~ 11:38 AM

Well, I survived my first Nature and Properties laboratory. The lab instructor is nice, if very quiet, and seems like he's a fun guy. The lab itself looks interesting. Unfortunantly, the instructor for the class came in to talk to our lab class, and HE's not a nice guy.

First off, he's anal retentive. He was already lecturing us on making careless mistakes and we haven't even done anything yet. He went on and on about numerical analysis and significant figures in error propogation. It was mindnumbingly boring...except for the part where he started comparing error analysis to discovering the truth about God. Yep. Not only is he an ass, he's also a Bible-banging Southern Baptist intent upon saving our collective souls. He kept staring at the ankh around my neck as if it would jump off me and bite him - I think he's one of those who thinks it means I worship Satan. *sigh* Anyway, he then started rambling about being close to the truth about God through the Scriptures. Then, after class, I went up to him to talk about my being gone in June for the concrete canoe finals and he told me that he absolutely refuses to give makeup tests or take in late homework. So apparently, if I miss a test, I'm really screwed. *grumble* Little rat...he'll probably schedual one then on purpose.

On the upside, I've been getting to talk a lot with Jeff! Apparently, while Costa Rica isn't really big on phones, there are internet cafes all over the place. Last night Jeff found a place that only charged him 300 calones (about $1) for one hour of internet service! We got to talk on AIM and he told me all about his trip so far. He's also been e-mailing me pictures. It's beautiful there! I'm really jealous. ;-) One of the places he stayed, the Tabacon Resort, looks really cool. It's near an active volcano and all the pools at the resort are heated geothermically! I think I might just have to go there sometime.

I just got back from a Wal Mart run with Jess and her dad. She had a good break, but they only got into town at 5AM this morning, so she's dead tired. She has classes all day, too, so she won't get the chance to sleep. We have an ASCE meeting tonight about San Diego we both have to be at, but I may end up going and just taking notes for her.

I'm kind of at a loss for things to do right now. No one in 608 is awake, except for Mike. Jess is ging to class. I could clean (blah) or go through all my old papers and decide what to keep and what to toss (even bigger blah), but I'm really not motivated to do either of those things. I'm not quite bored, just restless. Part of it is getting settled into a new semester and part of it is not having Jeff around. It feels weird without him here.

Current Music: "Children" - Robert Miles

Ungh ~ Tuesday, May 8, 2001 ~ 5:11 PM

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. After exams finished I was spending all my free time with Jeff, helping him pack and just generally getting in some good quality time before he had to leave. The I came home and the 56K modem slowness was killing me. Then I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. I'm still kind of woozy because they have me on this lovely narcotic, but at least there's not much pain. I am having a rather difficult time typing, though - the world keeps spinning. *silly grin*

Jeff's plane to Cost Rica got delayed yesterday for mechanical problems, so they had to wait to leave until today. I guess they should be there by now if everything went well. He's going there partly for a vacation and partly to help his parents house-hunt for their move down there. After the two weeks in Cost Rica are up, he's staying in Mobile for the rest of the summer. Fortunantly, he's getting a cable modem and a cell plan with free long distance, so we're going to keep in pretty close contact. I don't think this summer is going to be near as lonely as I thought it would be. ;-)

Friday my little sis went to her senior prom. I never had much use for prom and the one I went to can only be described as inordinantly painful, but E seemed to enjoy hers. She went with five other people and (get this, Jen)Dan Shelton as her date. Aww! They were so cute, being all high-school happy and stuff. My sis's dress was gorgous too. It was pink silk with creme lace over it and Dan picked out a lovely corsage for her. *sigh* My little sis, all grown up. *grin* Jen, we never thought we'd see the day, eh?

Speaking of my sis - she called about an hour ago and offered to bring me home a frosty. I'm pretty much limited to liquids at the moment because my jaw got messed up during the surgery and it doesn't open very far, so I hope she gets here with that frosty soon! Yumm, liquid chocolate.

So far the summer seems to be going well. I got staight As again for this semester and I came up with another funding opportunity for the ASCE's trip to San Diego. I'm getting along really well with my family (although that could just be the narcotics talking ;-) and surviving so far. I head back for summer school this Sunday. I'm taking 10 hrs: Nature and Properties of Materials, Statictics and Probablility, and another History class. Betwen classes, the concrete canoe, and Dagorhir, I think my summer will be pretty busy. ;-)

Woo hoo!!! ~ Tuesday, May 1, 2001 ~ 5:55 PM


I have had the best week so far!

Sunday Kat, Jeff, Jessica, Heather and I all went to see Rent in Birmingham. This trip was Jeff's idea - neither Kat nor I had seen it before, but Jeff had been rabid to go back since he walked out fo the theater his first time. Now I understand why. If you haven't seen Rent, you need to. Right now. ;-) Don't care how far away or how expensive it is. Trust me, it's worth it.

Jen, remember on our Europe trip when Sarah had a breakdown after seeing Rent and almost killed me? I understand why now. I don't think I have ever been to a performance that struck so many emotional chords. I was completely blown away - I still get sniffly listening to the soundtrack (pathetic, eh?). I have a hard time understanding why there are people out there who don't like Rent. *pokes Spencer*

I finished my last final on Monday. The weird thing was the my prof had gone ahead and reported my grade when he turned in everyone else's. The final was pretty much just for show. *grin* Dr. Gilbert can be just damn cool sometimes.

So now I'm just being lazy. I did nothing today except go for a bike ride. I have an ASCE meeting at 7, but that's the only things I /have/ to do today. It's wonderful. The only thing that would make it better is if Jeff didn't have to work every single day this week. Housing is running him ragged, poor guy.

*growls fiercly* Skittles is trying to change the lime flavor to green apple. *makes a face* They're yucky! So, if you have a soul, you will go to the skittles website and vote for lime. Now! See, I'll even give you the link. Please. Take a stand against evil.

Current Music: "Goodbye Love" - Rent Soundtrack

Why Try? ~ Saturday, April 28, 2001 ~ 1:08 AM

All semester long I have worked my ass off in Dynamics. As of Thursday I had a guarenteed A. And Friday, in 2 and a half hours, I and everyone else in my class learned that all our hard work meant exactly jack shit.

This is the second time UAH has screwed a class of mine over with a departmental final. The dynamics final I took today was made out by the other professor with NO input from my prof. It was a completely different style of test, with different notation and ways of asking questions. I thought at fist I was the only one having trouble - after all, I had just come out of a linear final not one hour before. But no - the general consensus is that we all failed. None of us even bothered to put down a solution for the two 20 point questions. Since it was a hundered point final, that pretty much guarentees that we all failed.

I have always had a problem with finals and their weight. This particular final is 36% of my final grade. In two and a half hours, every bit of work I put into this class was rendered completely meaningless. The best I can hope for now, barring divine intervention, is a C in the class. If I had known that all the work I did was going to mean nothing in the long run, I wouldn't have done. In other words, why even bother? Why spend the sleepless hours studying and working? Why should I waste my time when, in the end, it doesn't matter anyway?

The message I am getting from the UAH MAE and CEE deparments is that no matter how hard I work to be better, in the end they will beat me back down. Twice now, this message has been sent loud and clear. And quite frankly, I'm getting really sick of it.

And another issue: I have NEVER agreed with comprehensive finals. The way I see it, if you aren't still using at the end of the semester what you learned at the beginning, then why was it taught in the first place? My time should not be wasted with trivial information - I have enough to remember without filling my mind with useless junk. Linear Algebra is a perfect example of this. Only about 30% of that class will ever be useful. The rest of it is already forgotten, flushed out to make room for pertinent information. The idea of comprehensive finals is ridiculous.

On the upside, I did get to spend the rest of the day hanging out with 608&Co. I had a great time - we watched Get Shorty and Drunken Master II and generally had fun. I haven't been able to spend any time with any of them this semester, so it was great to actually have time to see them again! :-) It seems as if this summer won't be so very lonely after all.

*yawn* Ah well. Just had to vent a little now that the stunned mute stage has worn off. We'll see what shit I can stir up with the department later on. *evil grin* I'm out for blood now.

Current Music: 'The Old Ways' - Loreena McKennitt

Surviving So Far ~ Thursday, April 26, 2001 ~ 10:45 AM

Two down, three to go. Yesterday I got through my History and Transportation Engineering finals reasonably well. I got bored while I was taking my history final and kind of decided to not really write the essays like I was supposed to. I hope it doesn't hurt me too much, but I just couldn't make myself stay for one more minute. I had an A going in, so I'm pretty sure can soak it. TransEng was awful simply because my prof is horrible at making test questions. Every single question on our test was so ambiguous that he basically had to explain what he meant in every single one because we were all interpreting them incorrectly.

I'm spending today studying for linear and dynamics. My class took the linear final yesterday and it sounds like our professor raped us yet again. And I have to take the make-up test! *gulp* The problem with that class is that about midterms it went from being a class to a pissing contest. My prof feels compelled to prove that he is superior to us, so he makes out tests that are too long to complete in the class. He also gives us less than a quarter page to do calculations - we can't have calculators or scratch paper. He positively revels in the fact that his test are damn near impossible, which is why I've made it my semester goal to get an A in his class. Then I'll rub his nose it it. A lot. With my heel.

Well, the books beckon. The procrastination gods demand a sacrifice so I'll actually be able to work, so I think I'm going offer up my linear professor. Then I'd be able to study AND my linear final would be cancelled! Two birds and all that. ;-)

Current Music: 'The Warmth' - Incubus

Take a Little Vacation ~ Monday, April 23, 2001 ~ 5:29 PM

Have you ever wondered what would happen if one day you just decided to sit back and let everything around you simply happen and not even lift a finger to change any of it? I think it would be wonderful! Even if it's only for one measly day, I could just stop. One day with nothing due or to be done. One day where I didn't have to participate with anything - no input, no interest, no expectations, no stress. *grin* A vacation!

Today has been a somewhat yucky day. I spent my morning being sick and I've been out of sorts all day, snarling at various people because I'm starting to get stressed about all the finals I have to take. On the upside, though, I feel much better and I got an A on the Mechanics test I thought I'd bombed. And in a little while, I'm going to go get a bag of skittles. Skittles are like happy pills! ;-) It's impossible to be gloomy when one is eating skittles.

Today is the last day for MW classes. I just got out of Mechanics and I tell you, I'm not going to miss it one bit. Dr. Gilbert is a great professor and a great person, but he kind of sucks the life and energy out of you with his enthusiasm. Personally, I think he feeds on our energy to survive, so that by the time we leave his class we are nothing but empty, exhausted husks. *ponder* Like a dementor, except likeable and not slimy and decaying.

I'm about to go and study a bit more for History. Tonight I have to complete the extra credit Dynamics HW, so I need to get at least a little history out of the way. It promises to be a busy busy week.

......but if there are skittles, then it's all good.

Lazy ~ Sunday, April 22, 2001 ~ 5:24 PM

Lazy. I am being lazy. Lazy lazy lazy. ;-) I don't want to do schoolwork or study or anything else. My brain feels very fuzzyfied, I think because Billy got in a massive headshot on the side of my face today in Dagorhir. Rocked me back a couple of steps, it did, and my ear is still ringing. Or maybe it's fuzzied because I didn't go to sleep this morning until about 5:30 on account of the Vampire game. Whatever it is, today has been declared a lazy day - a day marked by the phrase, "It can wait until tomorrow." *smirk* Yep. It can all just wait. Heh.

The game went very well last night. I didn't get to play much because I was helping, but the few scenes that I did play in, I made a couple appalingly stupid mistakes. *sigh* I don't know what was wrong with me. Maybe stupidity is contagious and I just happened to walk through a cloud of it on my way in.....

We are gathering more people for Dagorhir. Billy's wife showed up today to watch us practice. If we can get her and the people from Arete involved, we'd have nine people. *cheers* And if we get to ten, we can go to the SGA and apply for club status, which would entitle us to school funding! :-)

This week finals start. Wednesday are my first two, with two on Friday and my last one next Monday. At least I can go ahead and get history and TransEng out of the way - those are the two classes I don't really care about much. It's going to be a crazy week. ;-)

Oooh ~ Thursday, April 19, 2001 ~ 4:11 PM

*bounces around the room* Eee, new layout! And it's Whelan! Admittedly, I threw it up here in about four minutes, so it's not the prettiest layout, but I cna always fix it later! Micheal Whelan is one of my absolute favourite painters, ranked right up there with Waterhouse, Leighton, and all thsoe people. He's done cover art for Anne McCaffrey's Pern series and a lot of other authors, but his best stuff is his personal collection - the ones he paints because he wants to, not for any commission. You can see his nifty gallery stuff here. My favourite painting of his right now is this relatively new one, Erosion. It'd be on my blog, but it wouldn't fit. At all. *grin*

Oh god, this week has been hell. I've been rushing every direction since Monday trying to finish projects, papers, homework, and the like. I haven't had time to do anything but schoolwork all week. I think things are calming down though - I've almost finished my history paper and that's the last of it for this week. I've come to the conclusion that if I've survived this long, finals should be a breeze. ;-)

Mmm, Prince's symposium this weekend. It's going to be a fun game with lots of people coming in from out-of-town. We're having a meeting tonight to clear up everyone's jobs and such. I think I'm having to work a few of the casino tables.....I hope not, though because I know NOTHING about any of the games they're running. *grin*

Current Music: 'Take to the Sky' - Tori Amos

And so it begins... ~ Monday, April 16, 2001 ~ 5:21 PM

This is it. The last long run to finals week. I have the distinct feeling that this time next week I'll be found huddled into a whimpering ball of anxiety in the corner of my Mechanics classroom.

Right now I'm trying to install the Windows Media Player on this comp so I can listen to the CD I brought with me (with headphones of course). *grin* Unfortunantly, they've got these comps so stripped and blocked I don't know if I can. I can't even see half the drives. *grumble* It's like they're afraid we're going to dowload evil porn or something. I could be at home right now, since my last class has been cancelled, but noooooo, I have to meet my TransEng project group at 7. Ah well. Hopefully our meeting won't take very long at all.

This weekend was relaxing, even though I ended up arguing with my father at one point over my stinking Dynamics project. I definitely needed an opportunity to get away for at least a little while. My sis and I got along really well, for once. She even made me a pretty skirt. *grin* Did I mention she can sew really well? My mom sent me back with the usual goodies and plenty of candy, so I now have enough chocolate to make it through finals. ;-)

Jeff and I are arguing a lot these days. I think it's mostly due to stress, but he's acting really weird. My feelings are kind of bruised at the moment because he doesn't seem to want to spend any time with me. I've quit asking him to come over and I've quit going over to see him because he complained so much the last time I suggested he come over to my room and every time I go over to his room, I end up sitting on the sofa watching TV with his roommates while he ignores me. And I don't understand. It's not like I'm crowding him for every spare minute of his time - I'm gone most of every single day and I generally have work to do at night - but he was complaining, so I figured I'd just back off. *sigh* I wish I could see him, though. He's leaving in about two weeks and I want to spend what time we have NOT fighting. Silly me. *grimace* I've come to the conclusion that he's just crazy and I shouldn't take anything he does personally.

A class just walked in, and I think they may kick me out if I don't start my dynamics. Gotta run.