[ my little six pence worth.]
::of quite nothing in particular::

[1 fengyis blogg.] [2 zqs blogg.] [3 alexiss blogg.] [4 winnies blogg.] . [5 kiamins blogg.]
[5 for the records] [6 succubus] [7 prese.t host] [8 zou.k host] [9 home blown.]

[her shore.] for winnie
Monday, March 3, 2003
10:31 p.m.
i wrote something for a friend today.
not exactly a poem. just you know
words.
and then i came home and thought
about it. thought some time
and decided i could write a better one.
a better one
than that short purple one
choked out
in the hustlingbustlingsteamingstewing
canteen.
and so maybe you'll understand it better
if i said that
this time
if you walked on the shore
and happened to look behind you
maybe you'll see the footprints they always
tell you about
but maybe when the footprints disappear
in the sea's tide
you can look ahead and see
me.
at least
holding your hand
supporting you from darkness
into light.
_

blessings
Sunday, February 23, 2003
09:16 p.m.
[dear god,]
i'm not very sure how exactly to do this cos i've never exactly done it before, all i know is that maybe this is apt [but maybe it's not] for a reason that you're sick, and i dunno what else to do other than wish you all the best and be by your side if you need me to be. so i thought maybe it'll be better if i offer a prayer as well. you know, just in case. i know this may not be a good prayer, not as good a prayer as others, but maybe you'll see what i mean and think about it.
everytime i see you, i'm reminded of the fact of how strong man are in the face of such indomitable odds. so cheerful, so. always there. and it breaks my heart to see you slowly fade away physically. and instances such as this, which i have never hoped to see but probably will again. what else can i do but discourage you from working so hard, discourage you from always doing everything, discourage you from eating so little. and don't know what else to say, cos maybe words can only say so much.
i'm going to stay awake tonight, watching your face in the stars. and i wonder what else love can do other than just make you realise someone else shares your pain and hope. it feels so helpless just sitting here by the phone, gazing into the sky, hoping that you're sleeping well hoping that you're feeling better. and i wonder why i never tried any harder to prevent this from happening. this tear that traces down my cheek, it tastes salty, warm. bitter. it hurts me that she's not alright while i am.
and all i'm asking for god, is to make her better, make her bright again, make the picture of her in the stars to be smiling again.
i love you so.
[amen.]


Sunday, February 16, 2003
10:28 p.m.
i see you everyday, eyes in passing
maybe for that few moments - too long
in my imagination
that tangles into sweet longing,
no chocolate on bright
strawberries, like lips like hearts
that meet beneath white breasts
shaped like doves on bleeding elms
as our hands brush. as i breathe
in the heady perfume
like brisk wine on my tongue, this
sugar-coated anglican roots
from your river's gentle valleys
where i dream of pale angels.
let me bask within this passing bliss.

VaLeNtiNE's DaY!
Saturday, February 15, 2003
08:46 p.m.
today is saturday, one day after valentine's day.

yesterday, went out with the brudders and sistas [and one missy] as well as a few others to lido to watch Catch Me If You Can, that leo dicap flick. yeha, turned out to be not bad, quite good actually. quite entertaining to watch him make suitcases of money when he's jsut a year or two older than me. oh well. talk about two little mice in a bucket of cream. i'm probably the first mouse, hehz. later we walked around taks for kiamin to get his teva sandals. wasn't very successful. apparently there weren't any nice pairs on sale. so too bad brudder!!! then had to chop chop rush to meet the light in my life cos was running late already. __

watched Catch Me If You Can again [with her]. still enjoyed it immensely. i think it was quite worth the second viewing, taking consumer [me] income remains the same and cetirus peribus and yada yada. hardy har. just realised how beautiful she is again. went home at 10, ate some ice cream and went to bed. tech run and road run tomorrow. anyway, got some vday presents: from the one and only sista alexis and missy zequan, thanks for the box of chocs. for lovely liwei, thanks for the pretty tile. for lil' theresa, thanks for the hershey's kiss and thoughtful note, for my beautiful angel siqi, thanks for the merci. for the oterh half of me, thanks for the box of merci, the touching letter, spending a wonderful evening with me, and for being yourself and trusting me so much. thanks a bunch people. i love ya all. __

saturday, went to school and walked the road run. was a nice hot morning sun in the sky when i ended. nice hot cheers from the class too, considering i was slacking so much i was pretty much near last. was chatting with an old friend of mine about nothing in particular. all the way. till the last few hundred meters where we raced and i lost by a hair despite my quick acceleration cos of a slower top speed compared to his. oh well. then drank too much water and isotonic stuff cos i had this weird notion i was getting dehydrated and spent the next 15-20 min sitting and staring at my towel and stuff on the ground and feeling really nauseous. bounced back and went for the talenttime tech run, which was an absolute bore. was talking to everyone else and not doing a good job of my job, which was to kcik the piano about the stage. anyway, was yakking with jess and a few others till it was time for syo. __

had syo. sat with her. quite uneventful. got selected to play in some concert for the opening of the ancient civilisation museum thingy. and missy didn't get chosen. haha! at last i've pipped her in this sorta thing. [to zq, dun worry about your low morale regarding your v playing, i go through these periods all the time. i'm sure you'll bounce back quickly. and i'm always here if you need someone to talk to. after your dear of course.]. then came home, ate at modestos, and upon returning, promptly leapt to the com to update this pile of bulls***. oh well. that's all for these two days so i'm jetting off. see ya all around.

[what a bad day]
Monday, February 10, 2003
10:52 p.m.
wore my alphazeta fires to school today. got ticked off by sharon phua mama even before lessons started. dadn't do math homework. didn't do econs homework. silly black pen leaked all over my bag in the morning. stained my pe shirt. stained my foolscap pad. stained my file. stained my loose worksheets. stained my right leg. my ring is scratched. __

then we had pe lesson. thought it was gonna be volleyball but turned out to be conditioning. ran around the track. did stretching. jumped about like a duracell bunny on steroids. did squats. i love squats. ran up and down stairs. five times. i love pe. give me a hell yeah. hell yeah. god must be looking after me from up there if i don't need to go to class on a wheelchair tomorrow. __

tired. going to fall into my daily seven hour coma soon. so yeah. see ya all brudders and sistas and msisy zq tomorrow. yeah.

[i bought new shoes today.]
Sunday, February 9, 2003
09:53 p.m.
guess what people. read the title. yeah, bought two actually. the alphazeta fire and another silver one. both pairs adidas. can't believe i'm getting pycho-ed into liking adidas. used to prefer reebok. maybe it's just a phase [i hope]. anyway, to all nike fans out there, you suck big time man! and nike too, you guys suck like a hoover! talk about surviving on reputation. __

anyway, just for some juice to talk about [cos she says my entries got shorter. must be because i'm getting more tired], the silly sales guy gave me two rights and i didn't realise it till i got home and laced them up. had to go all the way back to queensway to exchange for another pair. __

going to bring my clear bottle to class tommorrow. show the class spirit man! and of course i'm gonna fill it with pepsi blue. i think it looks cool. and of course my ring, which is also hers cos her name's on it. [btw do you know she runs at the chs track in the mornings? weird huh.] well, tomorrow's another day so i think i'll just sign off here. jetting off. ciao

to her: never does one day go by without me thinking of you. you make my everyday more passable.


Friday, February 7, 2003
09:22 p.m.
can't believe i'm actually updating this a day after my first official entry. oh well. today was quite alright anyway. had lit. was quite amusing. we were talking in rhyme/ all the time. if you get it. harhar. and stuff like honey-baked-hamlet. hardyhar. got dismissed from school at like 12. you know? 12? no one dismisses at 12. if you get what i mean. __

then kiamin, benben [haha!] kervin, zq, aLeXiS and me went to taks to go get our number one class mascot, the .90 adidas sports bottle. then we went for our number two class mascot the dairy queen single cone [only 50 cents! go buy!] btw, khalid asked for a red bottle. weird little mat chap we have there. we were suppsoed to go get our teva sandals today, but no one else remembered to get the tat seng crap they wanted to trade in so too bad. anyway i think this was more fun. later we went on mini shopping spree [as in me and zq] i bought a ring for me and her and zq bought a new wallet and some earrings. alexis also. spent quite a lot of money today [i think]. __

went home.


Friday, February 7, 2003
09:22 p.m.
first time attempting to do something with any repititive frequency. never actually successfully done anything which required updating, so hopefully this won't go down with all hands aboard like the rest of them. [and this kinda says a lot about my virus scan huh] give me a hell yeah. hell yeah. time to start. better now than never right? if i had to say today was interesting i'd be mad. pretty normal kinda school day i guess. lit was okay. math was okay. econs was okay. pe was okay. actually a little funny. was playing a little frisbee. one team was white one time was blue [sash]. all things considering, i think the mud had most of the possession throughout the game. felt like a dog. you know "go spot catch!" then *pant pant* [snag at fluttering frisbee with rabid arms]. you get the idea. kept getting reminded of "CaPtAiN AmErIcAaA!!!" when the mr. ting tang tong kept shouting "Go!!!" and tossing the frisbee out in weird directions. the frisbee came in white. it was actually brown. lucky didn't use the weird little ribena berry frisbee. and we did the can-can too. as in me, winnie and co. quite lame. yeah. gp was quite interesting actually. just remembered it so try to bear with me. i'm not the most organised of people. our group decided to keep all quiet [out group as in winnie, siqi the absent jess and me] unlike our usual urm. enthusiastic selves. i think the tutor was quite confused/suspicious/wateva/[the united states of] haha. which reminds me of poor jess who apparently ate soemthing wrong and got her guts in a twist somewhere down the pluming. well, hope she gets well. she kinda takes a little bit out of the class, you get what i mean? yeah so. GeT wElL!!! __

supposed to have syo today but didn't. shows how much the frigging french conductor is slacking huh? he hasn't shown up since my first baby tooth fell out. or it sure seems that way. and anyway, i'd sooner watch the grass grow then play with any effort when he comes. IF he comes. yeah. what a loser. __

oh and to her: everyday i know you brings me one step closer to heaven. thanks for everything, but thanks most for just being there. wateva. signing out. __


Friday, February 7, 2003
09:21 p.m.
hey there.test test [123]. seems everything's alright here. i'll get something more substantial up next time. so peace out. yeah.






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