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Wednesday, July 31, 2002
10:54 a.m.
""Oh, Blimey, it's all a fucking mess.""
I am sewing curtains for my room, right? So I have yards of green on cream fabric on my lap that I'm feeding through the sewing machine to get stitched, when I smell a funny smell. I lift up the soon-to-be curtain and find that someone has so graciously spilled milk on it. Wonderful, old, rancid milk. Wash it you say? Well, of course I can do that.
But, you see, this fucks everything up! I already seamed the sides, and the bottom is halfway complete. If I wash it now, it will shrink, so, I will half to wash all the curtains, but even then the sewing will cause the thread to be loose. So now, I am going to end up with different size curtains. I guess this is what happens when my workspace is on the kitchen table. It would've been nice if they had let me known about it ahead of time, though, eh?
-Laura.
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Wednesday, July 31, 2002
12:09 a.m.
""Working on a colemine going down, down, down""
There are certain things I never tell anyone, but then, there are other's I tell myself not to speak of, yet I end up doing the very opposite. It always gets the better of me. And ruins any chances I ever had before. meh.
-Laura.
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Tuesday, July 30, 2002
12:07 p.m.
""Are you so lonely, you don't even know me...""
Things are slowly slipping back into place. Brother dearest is gone most of the time, busy with summer classes, or earning money feeding some lady's dogs. He sleeps over there. Or does he? Hehe, no, I'm not the curious. Anyway, I'm a big idiot and didn't realize I need to make a new counter for this site, so that's what I'm off to do.
My days are spent reading. By force of the California Education Department, although truthfully I could just use Sparknotes and get myself off the hook. But, no. Otherwise, I can go to Weezer + Sparta August 10, yippy. Though now I am wondering about Ozzfest... but, but!! I skipped Weezer last time because it was the same night as Incubus... so now, it's payback time.
You know the Count on Greg the Bunny? Blah goldfish blah. Blah pillow blah.
-Laura.
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Monday, July 29, 2002
11:40 p.m.
""It's all roman dirge to me""
it's so unnerving when you try to find something increasingly important that you cast away months ago and never gave a second thought. It's humbling to think of so many friendships like that, which have gone sour with jealousy. People are too caught up in their objectives to realize when they are being used. Most people won't allow their pride to be damaged like that, so they struggle towards the end, attempting to justify their relationship only in the resolving week before it is indefinatly extinguished.
I don't think I tried that. In sixth grade, I specifically remember an awkward moment... Having my newfound comrades pose in several of the school's open vicinities to take tacky photos, my ex-"best friend" walks up and asks to be in the shot, too. Well, what am I supposed to say, "I didn't think you even liked these people, why are you going to stand with them like you know how to make them laugh, you betraying little jack. You played me like a 3 of Spades. I was the first. No warning for me, how was I to know you would twist your ways so..." Okay, it wouldn't have hurt to mention those things. Eh, that's what middle school is for, unfortunatly.
-Laura.
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Sunday, July 28, 2002
03:15 p.m.
""Ugh...I feel so lethargic""
I think I pushed myself too hard the last couple days. Monday through Friday I was up until 2 A.M. Plus, I woke up at 6 on Saturday, leaving me with 4 hours of sleep that I could not do in the car on the way home because I was driving. Of course, once I got home, me being the clingy person I am just had to visit my friends until 11, watch Cowboy Bebop until 2 (AGAIN!! 2 A.M!!) and wake up early. So now I am fucking burnt. But we aren't going to church today, woohoo. (Come on, that's not blaspheming, I swear.)So I plan to rest and maybe take a walk later, or visit if anyone's up to it. "Time Will Tell"
-Laura.
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Thursday, July 25, 2002
11:03 p.m.
""Rocks are the Earth's Feces""
So tomorrow is the last day at the cabin... it's been an awful long week. I enjoyed myself up here, sure, but I have enough bugbites to allow the owner's of anti-itch cream to shred some hundred dollar bills to stuff their pillows, I'm sure. Hmm... maybe I should go into that business?
The guys down at the boat dock, dubbed the Farkel Brothers, are insanely jittery. If I set up a camera, I'm positive you would all laugh, but because it is quite difficult to put into words these antics of theirs, I will just allow you to trust this new obsession of mine.
Don't worry, it's not a romantic one, you should be proud.
-Laura.
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Wednesday, July 24, 2002
11:38 p.m.
""Everything I want is problematic""
So, there's a few concerts and shows coming up I would *like* to attend, but then, there are always a million more wrinkles to iron out before I get there. Is the Weezer, Sparta, Dashboard Confessional concert that was supposedly going to be worked out even near that point? Or what about Cake, Modest Mouse, and the Flaming Lips? Same day, both far(ther) away... Which to choose?
And August 9th... Dredg, Keeping Ellis, Division Day at some place called the Icon? What of this? Of course I want to go, but then, that cause more wrinkles... and I wasn't even including the ones in my forehead.
Well, enjoyment has a cost, right?
-Laura.
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Tuesday, July 23, 2002
11:33 p.m.
""The truth comes out""
I feel kinda embarrasssed saying this but I really, really like the theme song to the Scooby Doo movie. It's fricken addictive... and makes me want to do a "hiney dance" although I don't know what it is, the phrase just keeps popping into my head, not do I know how to do it.
-Laura.
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Tuesday, July 23, 2002
08:17 p.m.
""Would a person who listens to Eminem listen to this?""
So, I've been talking a lot online to Tomm lately.
He's a "revolutionasin' asian" kid with a slick attitude of sorts. And I really appreciate talking to him. His band, I guess they are just starting out, writing songs and all. Well, you know how it is... with most bands... one member wants a pop punk sound... one goes for emo... and the other just wants some godforesaken lyrics that don't involve "a broken heart". Kinda funny when you think of band members... Do you think the music they make is music they would listen to? You just... gotta wonder sometimes.
-Laura.
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Tuesday, July 23, 2002
12:00 a.m.
""The strange things I find in old dusty e-mails""
-Laura.
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Monday, July 22, 2002
11:20 p.m.
""The Lost Isle""
I hate looking back on myself and realizing I did some really embarrassing thing to a friend. It'd be different if we could talk about it, but the opportunity never arose, mainly because I am sure the both of us want to forget it. See, for instance, the whole "The Book" incident was great. At the time, it was hurtful, be we took care of it on the spot and laugh about it to this day.
It seems the things that shouldn't require hard feelings are actually the ones of which I speak. The reason I am being so vague is because I feel like an idiot, and I know this person would never tell me that to my face. Items I asked them about go unanswered, and I am just unsure whether or not i can actually call it avoided. So what if my trivia skills go down the drain? I know that; you know that, why can't we all just have a laugh at my idiocy? So instead we both shut up, or rather my comments go unmatched.
This is about the moment I don't understand why other people who know everything there is to know about any given "_____" go asskissed and pampered, while others including sometimes me but moreso other people are blown off, yet still called a "true friend." Does knowing who-the-hell wrote that book about pirates sailing off the coast of Madagascar actually prove to make a wonderful friend? Go ahead won't you: phoning all the folks you've acquired for your little collection while never returning mine.
Dammit, I feel like such as loser!! Of course this is vaque... if everyone knew, well, I would feel worse.
-Laura.
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Sunday, July 21, 2002
10:32 p.m.
""I can only spew out so many words at once""
Geez, I feel like it's been an eternity cut away from my beloved city. Of course, when I am actually in it, I don't think quite so highly.
Vacation is nice... but also not for me, who considers a day without mom and dad relaxing. But Saturday was exciting, what with Champions on Ice as it was. There were too many points of that show i wish I had my friend(s) around to poke fun or recall how reminiscent Dan Hollander's (sp?) dance moves were of certain people. I'll be honest; I love Timothy Goebel, but he had an off night. Two of his jumps had faulty landings, and his spins were slow. But we all know his preformance usually isn't so lax. I still hold plenty of faith in his talent. On another note, I thought they jipped some of the other skaters by placing Michelle last. I mean, it has to hurt to Irina, who won silver medal, that the bronze medalist preforms after her. They even put her behind the men's gold, and pairs as well. I'm not saying it wasn't without justice; I really feel for Michelle. I cried when she didn't medal Gold for the second chance. Hell, I cried the first time, too. But to the other skaters, I mean, it's like telling Irina, "You didn't deserve to beat her. She will always be superior to you even when the marks come in." Saying that to her, but three and four times a week for a few months. All I'm saying is... tough break.
Also now, the cabin is damn luxurious. Satellite t.v.? Personal phone? Who knew? (it wasn't advertised) Although today there was massive thinder that was beautiful but fucking scary all at once, and it caused the power to go out.
So once back... I watched the remaining half of Breakfast at Tiffany's. A lot of people think that movie is just mediocre, and, although I do think it doesn't do the book much justice, I love how incooperated the cat is. Plus, the party scene is just halarious. Who do you know that could accidentaly start a potential fire, not notice, but follow it up by accuratly putting it out, still without a clue? The other movie I saw was Inventing the Abbots, about these two families at opposite ends of the money meter, yet there ends up being sexual relations between almost everyone. Freaky, but i severely loved it. If anyone has seen this and you know me, you know this is totally one I would love. It's got that whole forbidden love thing going on, but also plot twists and vengeance and the uncovering of hidden truths. Pretty much your typical movie.
Okay so I'm spent. Gonna look at these cool shopping urls to check for new items while I wait to see if anybody comes online... I will post them later; they're all really worth the "surfage".
Oh God, someone kill me, I used some nasty internet slang. pleh pleh.
-Laura.
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Friday, July 19, 2002
11:30 a.m.
""Spanish Book Title: BUEN VIAJE~""
Yesterday, we went to AMC 14 to see that new movie "Eight Legged Freaks" which was, by all means horrible. Jenny H. wanted to see it, so she planned it, which was definately cool, except something must've happened because she didn't show up. But despite the movie, we did have some entertainment. While we were standing outside waiting to go home, a guy dressed in a sock with a paper bag over his head (mind you ONLY the one sock so as not to exhibit the sacred mating grounds) ran by us and circled around making weird huffing noises. Needless to say, that five seconds was better than the entire show. Not because I am a pervert or anything, but because it was just so random.
So now... the time has come to pack up to go on vacation. A cabin on Trinity Lake, it is. I'm not trying to dis vacations but stuff like this is only fun when you are with either your friends, or an internet connection. These trips are mostly for Mom and Dad, so they can just sit around and not do anything. I personally prefer to utilize the time to dedicate to some project or another, usually involving html. Well, postcards it is, I guess. There's no television either, which is okay becuase no good shows are on, but at least if there was a vcr we could watch movies. I would love that. morer.
BUT!!! An exciting thing! Today is the Champions on Ice Show!! We're actually staying in Sacramento to watch it. Great fun! I can't wait to See Timothy Goebel and everyone. If I can, Maggie, I will call you and tell you how great it was. Woo hoo, good times. Shoot. Too bad that's the climax and everything else is just the falling action. Okay so maybe I do miss school. At least it would bring back some friendly faces, and the ones to laugh at, too, honestly.
See you next week.
-Laura.
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Thursday, July 18, 2002
11:17 a.m.
""An' if I don' 'ear tha leetle ping ping...""
I turned on the television, and it was on TNT, but I couldn't tell what it was because the picture fades in about ten seconds later. But I heard this funny little Scottish accent... and HA... it was Ewan! So it ended up being this retarded episode of ER: Robbery. But, it was actually really entertaining.
So I guess, Duncan (that's Ewan) had moved to America from Scotland to live with his cousin. But they didn't have any money so they try to rob a convinience store. There's a whole bunch of people inside who are taken as hostages, including some old folks who run the store, a boy, and the nurse lady, and some other folks. But what's really great is that he makes a horrible bad guy. Like, he tries to shoot this coffee pot to threaten the hostages, and misses and shoots the old guy. So, of course, the nurse lady tries to help him out using the stores supplies, and Duncan is all upset that he killed a guy. Then, the boy is in the bathroom throwing up, and he brings him out and gives him a stack of quarters. He's all shouting at him and pointing the gun at his head, "You better be playing this game. I want to hear the little ping ping of the ball, and ever time I look over here I better see you playing this machine and if I don't, you know I'm not afraid to shoot this. But you know, I may miss and hit whatever's in the way, okay? Lemme hear those ping pings, now." The whole time the phone is ringing off the hook, and, well, it's just really funny. Except at the end when he dies.
-Laura.
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Wednesday, July 17, 2002
10:23 p.m.
""Hey, wait a minute...""
Whatever happened to Robot Jones??
No, Really.
-Laura.
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Wednesday, July 17, 2002
05:25 p.m.
""Like an Egyptian, Walk.""
Grrrn... I'm babysitting these two kids in some minutes here... I don't know; kids are too many things to count. Cute but nasty, so nasty sometimes. Annoying but adorable. Innocent yet they know how to manipulate adults to get what they want.
I do want kids, but there's things I'm afraid of. I don't have any younger siblings... I have no ballpark idea when one should begin walking, talking, dressing himself, tying shoes, or riding a bicycle. My kid will be the late one, will he? That's okay... I've got plenty of time to look into it. Not rushing myself into anything, I'm not.
Sound like Yoda, do I?
-Laura.
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Tuesday, July 16, 2002
11:34 p.m.
""A Kind of Fill in the Blank Feeling""
I am just killing time seriously right now. Cannot stop itching back...
was bored and did this idea I saw a while ago in someone else's blog:
Top Ten Results From Searching "Laura is":
(I weeded out all the frivilous Dr. Laura ones of such)
1) Michele Kort's biography of Laura is selling well, and she is about to begin her book signing tour. (uh-huuuh)
2)Laura is an independent graphic designer available for contract, freelance,
or part time projects.
3)LAURA IS 8 ON AUG 4 2001 (Yes, it was in all caps)
4)Laura is an entertaining and informative speaker who has presented programs at conferences in Kansas City, Dallas, and Branson and has been a featured speaker for writers' groups in several states.
5)On Monday, May 6, it was announced that Laura is up
for Best Actress for her rule in The Crucible.
6)Laura is doing some freelance writing for newspapers, as well, and wrote an article in the San Diego Union-Tribune about her trip to France in the summer of 2001.
7) Laura is not online too often, but can be found on
AIM, under her personal handle of (censored so as not to cause confusion).
8) Laura is usually hard to find.
9) 'Laura' is one of the most stylish
and taut murder mysteries ever put on film.
10) Laura is a braggart. Just check
out the links and you'll see why Laura is superior in every way.
Hah. Gee, even though it isn't me; oughta make me at least *feel* accomplished.
-Laura.
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Tuesday, July 16, 2002
01:35 p.m.
""I counted my freckles this morning.""
I got up to 227 before the "undetermined" ones came into play; those being the really really light ones that are all overlapping so you can't really tell whether or not they count. So I just sorta said, "eff it" and up and quit. But then again, taking the sunburn into account, some of my spots have vanished with the shedding of skin I suppose. And some of the light ones are now "normal" colored. Ahh, well, I don't like my freckles. They are ugly. No one finds them attractive, even me. I said so myself.
They don't even make a crayon for us! You know those boxes of skin tone crayons? Where are the freckles at? All they have to do is sorta mix some other wax colored pieces in. Yeah, maybe it's such a minority they don't even put it in the minority crayon colllection. =/ Honestly though, I can't think of that many people who have freckles. Well, me, for one, and that guy at Warped Tour who everyone was taking pictures with, umm Lucy Lui, and I think Whoppi Goldberg has a few. Maybe I'm just braindead?
-Laura.
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Tuesday, July 16, 2002
11:04 a.m.
""What you don't know... won't hurt you, will it though?""
I know there are supposed unsolved mysteries and everything, but what about the people's antics that don't compute? All the time, there are these rules to abide by, but who's to say they won't break them? Parents can tell their kids not to consort with "tipsy tawny" or whatever but they have no way to enforce it. Really, especially when there is school together. It just suprises me to see people who constantly believe there's someone keeping a lazy eye on them.
Okay, so I was thinking about this girl Betsy I knew in middle school. See, with her there were always dimples and a twinkle of the eye. She lived by her parents rules, and appeared content. But in reality, was she happy catering to their needs or was this all some front put up to please? The only reason I wonder so much is because, at the time, everyone said how her persistant smiling was so annoying, but no one thought of how she truly felt. Now that I look back on it, I guess everyone else could have been jealous, although I don't think anyone would want to be happy like so all the time, right?
Behind closed doors, she's probably just as pillow-punching pissed as the rest of us.
-Laura.
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Monday, July 15, 2002
10:44 a.m.
""No! It's over! But I have so much to show for it...""
A splendid time was had at Warped Tour by, I think, all.
Saturday was more of a day of cruising the merch booths and seeing a few bands, but Sunday was just almost like an incessant flow of music, really. Plus, we were close as could be without a strain in the world. Or at least, not much. Except for a few tilts and much leaning during Glassjaw, and Maggie's umm scratch during Homegrown (?) that is...
So to recap bands, let's see...
Glassjaw (twice!) they just blew me away- muahahaha! and we "met & gret them" hehe. actually, not really, they signed my cd though.
Finch (Twice also) Sunday was super lucky... Daryl sang "Grey Matter" with them... and I tried to take a lot of photos... but it was REALLY AWESOME
Hot Water Music (the first day we saw their last song, but once we saw the whole set, I must say, I think they preform well live, especially when it's early and the crowd is kinda reluctant to participate)
Flogging Molly (twice) These guys really impressed me with the amount of energy sort of eminating from everyone. But moreso that they sound really just "fitted together". This is one of those bands I dance to in my house when no one is around to watch.
Quarashi (twice) Okay, these guys are just really cool people. From Iceland! And they rap! But it's still groove-a-delic and pumped up with instruments, so, good stuff.
Besides them, there were "listenings" of the following: Ozma, Alkaline Trio, Reel Big Fish, Something Coorprate, Trust Company, The Used, Homegrown, Rx Bandits, Bad Religion...
Although whether or not I like them differs much, but either I already know or feel it would be unfari to disclose an opinion based on a minimal performance. Although sometimes, yes, of course, you can tell anyway.
As far as material happiness is concerned, I picked up some nice shirts, cds, and a hat. Although I had to get that one not by choice, but because I had a horrible sunburn and was a- trying to hide in the shadow, and b-avoiding direct sunlight. Now my face has just been like, killed. I swear I am going to have skin cancer when I'm older.
And hey, let's hope for *good* photos once they're developed...
-Laura.
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Thursday, July 11, 2002
01:01 p.m.
""Consecutive Moments on and on""
Time is such a dependent variable.
Even when you are going through the worst of situations, the one thing you can always rely on is time. Nothing else is sure. But it seems strange, somehow, because it works both ways. You could feel like bawling your insides out through your eyes, but in a week, you could be well, "singing in the rain." At the same time though, it hurts to know that everything rewarding {love, friendship, contentedness, life} will eventually come to end, or, if not, it will change over the years.
I can honestly say that, at this point in my miniscule insignificant life, I am truly happy. When my eyelids open in the morning, and I observe my family rush out the door as I sip the remaining milk from my cereal, I feel just "perfect". Or rather, I feel there is nothing I could want to alter in the least. It's at night when I have the bad dreams.
Honestly, sometimes I am afraid to go to sleep, for fear of having another one fo these nightmares. You know the ones... My family is all killed off... my friends crinkle their noses and eyes are filled with scorn. These images are so ingrained on my brain I can see the high cheekbones rising on their faces when they give the look of dissapprovement.
But I am happy. Ecstatic from the moment I awake. I just know things will be different in a matter of time. But I can't ask for anything more. I know my family will, assuming they are alive, not disown me or anything, but what about friends? I know others would disagree, but I do hope to be in good contact with this same group in ten years.
I remember a year ago, Maggie, Jessie, and I were talking on the phone, and (I think) I asked if they thought we would still be friends in that many years. Both of them were positive, but not I. Now I'm almost positive they would trade their answers as I have mine, but I really don't know. Part of the reason we are growing apart has to do with a weird type of "abusive" relationship, in a matter of speaking. But look at all the "best friends" at our school. They all have their spats, the times when one gets fed up and disses the other, the times when they argue over who is correct, all of that.
But maybe, just maybe, I was wrong for all those years. Maybe that is a necessary part of a relationship. Because without those imperfections, all you have is a dominant and a submissive, only saying what will make the other happy, sometimes speaking in white lies, just agreeing to feed eachother's personalities. Hmmmmmm. Saulgood
-Laura.
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Wednesday, July 10, 2002
12:00 p.m.
""Now that my crap entries are done taking up space...""
Last night, some friends gathered at Bryan's house, to have a supposed water fight. Although we didn't actually have any of our own guns or water balloons at the time, but they were later accumulated. First time I had seen Bryan's room, let alone the interior of his home.
To be honest, I was suprised. Their house isn't dirty or anything, but it seems that every parent I meet has a tight definition of tidy, except for his. It's not a bad thing in the least, but hey, now I understand why it took him five years to clean his room. Although he even had up an old photo of him and Johnny from baseball.
It is so true, (almost) everyone I know had a hay day in elementry school when they were jointed at the hip to someone who now does not even smile to them in the halls. You could say, all the rejected folks banded together to form their own society, free of the others. Thinking back on it, I did not have a mutual relationship in elementary school at all. I can't look back on it and say I am glad it happened. That girl had me do all the dirty work for her, while she got all the glory. I guess that sometimes occurs this day in age as well. When some crazy deed is done, and a few people take part, there's usually only some who take full responsibility, and the others waver, only admiting to their affiliation if "credit" is given instead of blame.
Oh crazy humanity.
-Laura.
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Wednesday, July 10, 2002
10:26 a.m.
""We are T-U-R-T-L-E Crazy""
I can go to Warped both days! Yes... how pleased I am. Now to just buy the tickets... I pray for no flaws in this process. Watch, we'll get there, and she'll say, "Sorry, we're all sold out." At which point I would most likely cuss and stomp my foot on the floor.
But that won't happen. It can't happen. Even if it did, they should sell tickets at the venue, and those are cheaper even because there is no handling or shipping fees or anything. Woo hoo.
The only downfall is there's a mild amount of housework I have to do, and normally I wouldn't complain about such normal happenings, but I feel phsically incapable for some reason. I feel "inadequate" to be serious. But, hey, it's only chores...
-Laura.
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Tuesday, July 9, 2002
01:52 p.m.
""Just a few things""
Sometimes I forget how refreshing it feels to vent in here. The past few weeks (has it been that long, or have I just been passing the time too slowly) I have been using my "real" diary. Like, Jenny said, it gives me a "fierce" feeling when I rumage through the pages. At different times throughout my existence, I have taken up these pages with strange little tales.
The very oldest ones, from 1994, are about the "important" things of the time. Just... me being afriad to touch a mantaray, and being lonely while my brother went to Science Camp. Hey now, life don't change so much, do it?
-Laura.
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