the world must be ending... Displacing honesty looking at and away from the mirror my self confidence has taken a dive... I feel very...hmm...what's the word for this? Amazed at a 180 review... Gravitation...I only love it more and more each second... looking around and being lazy... Too much Fruits Basket on the brain... Tohru??? still feelin' bleh... Anime Expo...a roller coaster of emotions Be amused. ^_^ (new quizzes to take!) Brought to you by Faytrial
Random rant... I don't really like talking about death...
nope, Duality (luckily) Yamaguchi Kappei-sama hasn't lost his voice. *isn't jinxing him*
I just finished writing one of the most bittersweet fics I've ever written. And it's twistedly sweet, in my opinion. One of my favorite's to write...
*takes a big gulp* Only, the pairing is Tohma and Suguru.
*sighs* And I loved writing for it. I thought it was crazy, but I wrote for it...@_@
Song of the day: Tatu - All the things she said.
Thursday, July 24, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 03:41 a.m.
That was one of the most recent fics I've done for Gravi. (Yesterday was a Tohma + Yuki one...lamenting, if nothing else.) I've come to understand that Ryuichi is really one of the characters I will torture, smash, love, and kill all at the same time because I love him so much. And his obsession? Tatsuha...well, Tat-kun and music.
As off the wall Ryuichi gets, I really do enjoy writing for this particular pairing. In fact, maybe they're the second pairing I love the most under Seishirou and Subaru.
There's something I find difficult in conveying through Ryuichi and when it comes out, I feel that his weird nature is actually very comprehensible. Then again, I'm that extreme too. ^^;;; Love it all, or have nothing to do with it.
Displacing honesty is Ryuichi takes place before his concert in Nittle Grasper and his 'transformation' when he plays his part on stage. Then, it all comes into place that he mixes his obsession with music with his craziness over Tatsuha, even though Tatsuha's only supposed to be a young teen here. *sighs*
I took the microphone into my hands and tapped my feet while smirking at the audience.
As I began singing, I held out my hand to the crowd and smiled.
I’m not telling you I’m the best, but I’m pretending that I am.
Turning and gazing at the crowd, I leaned forward to show them my face. One of the masks that I will wear tonight.
I’m not telling you that this is work. I’m showing you that this is fun.
Glazing my eyes over the crowd, I’m still looking for something or someone to fulfill my intense desires. And singing is the only thing that can quench my undying thirst.
I’m not showing you my infatuation.
I’m only sincere in the emotion I show singing because I sometimes I’m afraid that I’m only human with a human heart.
It was then that I glanced at the handsome boy’s face. The fan that didn’t know I looked for him every time I fell asleep at night. Those eyes looking at me not knowing how much it ached in my heart not being able to touch him.
The one that wrote an anonymous note to me, but didn’t leave a signature. Only Tohma had been the one to track him down because he recognized the handwriting of his close friend’s little brother.
You understand.
You’re the only one who understands me, but I cannot say anything about it to you. This is only a crush for you since I’m just someone you look at and listen to each day. Someday, you’ll forget me and I won’t be able to stop that.
I closed my eyes, in sync with the pain of the song, as I thought of this horrible fact. I love you despite the fact that I shouldn’t.
And more than music.
With all my honesty displacing my inhibitions, I looked straight into his eyes and held my hands out to him. Now, with music, I can camouflage myself to you. Through it, I can show you how I’ve truly been suffering without you.
I sang,
“I’m showing you my obsessive love.”
song of the day: The Great Beyond by REM.
writing advice for the day: what's an angle you've not taken yet? maybe you have to look on the other side of the binoculars to know what you want.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 04:27 p.m.
Yesterday, I wrote a Mars fic based on this song. (click on the title of this entry if you wanna read it.)It's called 'Stem' by Shiina Ringo. It's really beautiful, but very eerie at the same time.
“There’s a door here, but it will not break
There’s a stone there, but it won’t remain
Up there a heaven now, but it will not wait
And the lies there, the scent of it, just too much
So should you.
Sow it once and make it grow, the sweet clematis
Let it flower, and paint it all the colors bold
Instantly things, fall and fade, return to silence
Why, oh why, why does it all feel so sorrowful?
Dreams of what is real
There’s a breath here, but it will not break
There’s a face there, but it won’t remain
Up there’s a heaven now, but it knows no name
And the stain is the color of red through red
And though,
You cannot cry, confuse the lies, try to remember
When you rise, you take your steps with a strong desire
Time goes by, a breath it comes, like something given
Why oh why, why have these nightmares not long expired
The real is but a dream
From now on,
Should I grow and open full, the sweet clematis
Flower bold, but there’s no need for rejoicing more
Precious life, this life, just once, it comes just one time
Keep it close, keep it from ever just leaving you
Crying tears confusing fears they are no longer
When I stand I know I’ll never be down again
Nothing that I need now, once it comes just one time
Somehow, somehow, someone, ah
Entry Number One.”
I wrote this fic called Looking Away because I felt that, speaking for myself, I always look at a mirror. And from the mirror, I can see myself. And from that mirror, I can't see myself also. I'm always nervous to get the truth and yet I don't hold back to say the truth anymore.
It makes me wonder why I've learned to become more and more impatient when I see insincere actions. This weekend, I felt that I was holding back even with the ones closest to me. I was as polite as I can be, but I couldn't show much I appreciated them. I just hoped they understood it without me saying it very well.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 12:45 a.m.
WAH~! My random rant. *goes on knees and screams at the ground. Terrible, terrible writer! *winces*
Why won't these fics go the way I need them to go?! *frustrated* I'm almost going into complete writer's block. And that's terrible. That means I'll be completely silent for a month or two thinking, 'Why do I pretend to know how to write when obviously I'm not cut out for this.'
Don't worry guys, I just needed to get this out. I'm in just one of my Shuichi moods. The one where he's sitting on a desk wanting to cry but not crying. Instead, he's an insomniac for days thinking he has no talent. Yup, yup, that's exactly how I feel. People telling me I should write more when there are people I read that are obviously more knowledgeable about the materials.
Currently doing what: Trying to think of a fanfic and drinking straight coffee. (Yes, Duality, I've gotten that depressed. I hope this helps me get to sleep faster. And dammit, I'm doing the whole 'I must think of a solution to this predicament' mode. ;_;)
*thinks* I know what will make me feel better! *goes to Duality* *pays homage and worships the awesomely beautiful 'her holy bitchyness'*
*remembers what she said to Adri* *grabs Adri* *huggle* *blink, blink* Okay, I think I can conquer the world again...
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 11:13 p.m.
I've been on a writer's block for any series except the Haru + Yuki fic for Fruits Basket. I feel so...so...it's not 'bleah' or lethargic. I just feel so small. (Though, literally, I am.) I write and write and write...but I wonder if I put enough emotion into my fics? Hmm...*sighs* And I'm still sucky with details. *ACK!* I've been reading books and writing, but I'm always wondering how can I become better with this. I write to figure things out that I usually don't talk about, but that's how I'm feeling today even though I can't describe it well.
Mood: feelin' alone and that she's a terible writer. @_@
Why? It's too quiet and I'm approaching one of my 'I write...I hope to God that I know what the hell I'm talking about and I wonder if I masquerading it well.' ;_;
The bishounen I've been obsessing over: Sesshomaru-sama and Yuki Sohma. (Damn fics...)
song of the day: Le Fils de Superman by Celine Dion (I need to brush up on my French sometime...)
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 04:18 p.m.
*sighs happily* Aching Desire has 180 reviews, despite the fact that it's 38 chapters and some of the reviewers telling me it was crap. ^^;;; Then again, you can't please everyone. Well, that's otay. (Considering the fact that one of my main reader's was a mother. Teresa! I love you!) I know it's super long, but I have to say it's my crowning my achievement. Well, one of them. For writing, anyway.
I got around to reading the last few chapters and I find myself falling in love with it more and more.
I am trying so hard to think of Gravi fics to write so that I can be in that mode again. Looking at Aching Desire made me realize how much I thought about a lot of things about life and that I also taught a lot through it. It is such a cute fic. Different...very warm and depressing, but cute. Pushing that aside, I laughed at 2 am for:
He was beaming at me and I sighed. “Oh no…we just went through a long, long, _long_ session of-MMM!”
Ryuichi grabbed my shoulders and wrapped his arms around my naked body. I looked down at him and shook my head. “You know you shouldn’t do this after coming out of the hospital only three days ago.”
He sighed with a glimmer in his eyes. He then grabbed Kumogorou and pouted as he bit the ear.
“Demo, demo,” he said in muffled protest.
“You waited for me to grow up so you can have my body!” I laughed as I fell onto him gently and pointed at him accusingly. “That was your intention. I know how you work!”
He smirked at me playfully. “I swear it was all pure until I undid your shirt that night.”
I closed my eyes with a twitch in my eye. “Ryuichi…”
“You can’t fight temptation.” Then, he ran his fingers through my hair. “I’ve waited for you for thirty-one years! No one ever believed I was a virgin.”
True, true! Ryuichi the sexiest man alive never had sex before? That was unheard of!
He sweatdropped as if reading my thoughts while I analyzed him.
“You were repressed,” I said with a dead-pan look.
“Naw, I’m all for you,” he smirked again while kissing my lips. Then, he hugged me. “It was really hard trying not to seduce you whenever I saw you.”
“You’re making up for it just fine…honey.” I grinned as he shook his head.
He smiled as he lifted his eyebrows. “Hey, that’s below the belt!”
“That’s what I’m aiming for…”
Of course, if you've read the fic, my fav. chapter is still 31 because of 'Kimi ni'. ;_; Except, Aching Desire can probably be summed up in this way and it really makes me all waffy:
“You loved Ryuichi for being himself. Ryuichi isn’t a woman or man in your eyes, he’s a person that you’ve watched for so long that you can’t bear to be with anyone else.”
song of the day: john mayer's 'no such thing'
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 02:09 a.m.
Registered for classes today. @_@ It's weird when you're out of the UC system. ^^;;;;;;;; And we'll just end with that.
Moving on, I was able to FINALLY make a new Yuki x Shu one-shot! I wanted the Tokyo Babylon one-shot to be cute, but it came out deranged. I'm intrigued by the strange Subaru I brought out, but even I'm disturbed that I put that he liked having a 'death angel'. As for the new Gravi fic, I find it super, super cute. I had this idea for two years, this "before Yuki and Shuichi met in the park" and how about if they met when they were kids but didn't know it? *nods* I loved it indeed. This tickles me as much as "You were already mine." I made Tatsuha a cute, yet drooling toddler who kept on attaching himself to Yuki. *lol* And he freaked out when Yuki got lost. *LOL* *kawaii'ed out*
But pushing all kawaii-ness aside, I made this fic also for the fact that I've been kind of upset over the rampant sexual innuendos over Gravi fics these days. @_@ As I said in my fanfic list, Gravi is special to my heart (besides having Yamaguchi-sama in it or that's the fandom I'm mostly known for writing for, or so I've been told?) even if it does have or fall into stereotypes. Gravi is like this childhood playground for me with people, deranged and strange as they are, I wish I had as childhood friends. You know, that homey type of feeling. Gravi may be weird, but it's the first of its kind. It's the first shounen ai anime tv series ever shown, even though Zetsuai is the first shounen ai manga series (and that was ages ago). It's very stereotypical, but as I said to my friend Winnie the Pooh, I fell in love with the characters. I loved Ryuichi (heh...your SEXY voice) and Hiro, but I learned to love Shuichi.
I understand it deals with sexual situations and the like, but it's very cute in it's representation of many things. Gravi actually makes me happy whenever I write for it, no matter how angsty the fic. And what I loved the most was that each character, especially Shuichi and Ryuichi were aiming for different dreams. They took you along for a fun ride, and then you're not the way you used to be by the end of it. Not a typical response to Gravi, but that's what Gravi told me. (Okay, that and the fact that Tatsuha-god, I love what a weirdo he is- represents all those fangirl things you wish you could do. ^____________________^ *satisfied* Which is why I used Tatsuha to um....yeah...touch Ryuichi, both literally and figuratively. *fans face* Phew. *remembers previous Ryu x Tatsu fics*
As for belonging nowhere, damn fic! Got to the build up and now I'm scared of finishing it! I love it too much to end it! WAH~!
I'm a weirdo finding out how I unconsciously like certain pairings and that Haru x Yuki's one of them. ^^;;; I'm asking Winnie the Pooh to convince me to see Kyo x Yuki so that I'll write for them, but all I can die on (with a burst of fangirl giggles) is whenever Yuki says, "Baka Neko." *dies* *dies again* (You go Hisakawa Aya-sama!)
Wrapped around your finger has been on my mind. I have cornered myself. Too many characters and mixing up the pairings...what the hell have I done. Yet, I want to finish this complicated tale.
Song of the day: Fatal Fury's 'Oh Angel'. (Joe Higashi's so cool!)
YEA~! Mali-chan, you're back! *glomp* And you're welcome!! I love you too!
Adri...*reads her blog* *BLUSH* i...didn't...mean...that about the whole costume thing. ;_; I mean you had to help me with dressing up in it? Oh, gosh, that doesn't sound good either. *blush again* And yes, it's all right about the e-mails, don't worry about answering them. I'm always late with that. ^^;;; And you're welcome again about the card. Just thought you needed your healthy 'smile of the day' quota fulfilled. (Okay, so I have a hug and smile quota of the day. I can't help it people. I'm just like that. Ask Duality, it sickens her about how genki someone can be. ^^;;;;;;;; And I take about the genkiness of like 10 people???)
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 08:13 p.m.
It's been really hot these days and if my insomnia has been bad before, it's even worse now. I just go to sleep only to be woken up in 1-2 hr chunks. It's more like naps. ^^;;;
What have I been doing these days? Not much. Just cleaning and cleaning as well as lazy-ing about and watching Wolf's Rain. Kiba's a hottie, but Toboe's so CUTE!
But, I've also been watching one of my favorite movies: Sabrina. Both the Audrey Hepburn (god, I love her) and Harrison Ford (*sighs dreamily* I love him as much as Kappei Yamaguchi so this must say enough, ne?) with Julia Ormond. I like both versions, though I was cuted out more by the fact that Harrison Ford was 1) stoic, 2) a business man, and 3) had glasses. I kept on crying though. But maybe that's because I felt sorry for everyone and I'm aging like those weird women who look at love stories like 'an affair to remember' and the like. ^^;;; Okay, so I'm still...yeah, upset about _that_, but I've bounced back up significantly. ^^v Bought two fruits basket manga today even though I couldn't find number 12 at Kino and got my clamp in wonderland wallscroll today. It is SO KAWAII. Subaru...Subaru...@_@ I love Subaru, but I have to say the finest bishounen to walk into the anime/gaming world is Sephy-baby. *purr, purr* Subaru! You're so beautiful though! (Notice my layout if you haven't. Hee.)
And, I've been writing fics. The latest is the Hatsuharu x Yuki fic. ;_; God, if I thought Aching Desire was bad, maybe I'll reconsider that. Poor Haru! This is shorter, so it doesn't have as much emotional impact as I want to convey, but it's tearing me apart. *wince, wince* I love haru because he's so gentle and I actually feel peaceful writing from his perspective. I think that's why I'm enjoying writing the angst, but along with that, I know where the hell it's all headed and some part of me is saying, "No, you want to make a _happy_ ending, Yui. Not a sad one! I repeat, not a sad one!" As the author, I should know what the hell's going on, but dammit, I think that's why I love writing or some people love reading, you never know what's gonna happen. Last person reviewing the fic so far said I was evil. ^_____^ God I love writing.
I'll be getting back to writing more Calendar Boy, Wrapped around your finger, and Belonging Nowhere once this terrible writer's block is gone. (Please notice how many one-shoters I've been making instead of updating these fics. I am truly truly stuck right now, despite the fact that it may look that I've been super productive. I'm proud of writing a fic everyday though.)
Now, where the hell can I find that Cutey Honey ending theme? Been looking for it for years, but can never find it. It was a very beautiful song translated as 'the legend of goodbye' about two people who knew one another, but they were torn apart. But they hope they'll meet one another again.
song of the day: linger by the cranberries.
Writing advice for the day: what message are you trying to convey? Do you even want anyone to learn anything from your fic? I've noticed that a lot of people don't look for the most spectacular fics or grow tired of repetition. (Gosh, I'm so happy my readers aren't sick of my plea of pain for unrequited love. ^^;;) They want an extension of the manga/anime, they want you to capture its essence with their favorite characters, they want the most human ones. And you as the writer understand what you love and what you want.
You may have the 'perfect fic' that you deem the best you've done so far, but don't forget the substance. Technique can be perfected, but love/passion cannot.
Saturday, July 12, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 03:16 a.m.
I was so so stuck on what fic to write yesterday to the point that I fell asleep with @_@ and woke up exactly 12 hours later. Today, I've been rather lethargic though I can't understand how that is so when I've got a million different things going through my mind. As I do so, there are things I know I should clean, while avoiding the things I should do. (When I procrastinate, if you didn't know, I clean. And clean...and clean...^^;;;;;)
So, here I am trying to find the damn summaries for Fruits Baskets only to find that Tokyopop has licensed it. Great. Yes, I admit, once upon a time, I was going to be paid to translate Cowboy Bebop, but now I'm glad I didn't. Don't get me started on TP because well, I used to like them a lot. Really! And then, well, quantity over quality, enough said. I don't like saying bad things. Depressing things yes, but not bad stuff about other things or people. *big sweatdrop* I do think too much.
As I was saying, I had written that Hatori fic only to find I was on a favorites for a fic that had no reviews. *blink, blink* It's called 'more than anyone'. The one I was pairing Akito and Hatori. That was a shocker. I really thought I went off the deep end with that one, but I enjoyed doing someone out of character for myself. Akito is more twisted and angry than I thought and that's what came out.
Today, I decided to do something with Yuki...again. Surprise, surprise. (God, he's so cool. Almost to the point I want to collect for him and Subaru! *wince, wince* I know, it's that bad.) Only, this fic is from Haru's perspective. Yeah, that fine cow. MMM. ^____^
It's different from the other fics because I'm making him actually say something about his feelings to Yuki. (Whoa, truly different.) As to how the progression of the story will be, I don't know. I'm enjoying it and have already written two parts in less than 2 hours trying to make a third part as we type. ^_^ I just hope to make it nice and sweet and *drum rolls* short. Short is what I'm aiming for. Gosh, I've been awful with multi-chaps. 14 in progress and still going like the energizer bunny. I wonder if people ever get sick of me. *blink, blink* I'm pretty sure, if I talk too much, but then again, I talk too much when I'm nervous or become silent if I'm truly uncomfortable.
Going back to the fic, I think what I'm aiming for now is trying to make more detail. I'm thinking of doing more original fics to publish. Ah, we'll see because it's all in my head.
Song of the day: Eyes never lie by Hideaki Matsuoka
Writing advice for today: What drives you on to write? Reviews, yourself, your mood, or all of these things? Remember, always try to make the situation ideal to whatever motivates you. (I've been on writer's block, actually, but I've been trying to produce fics.)
Wednesday, July 9, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 10:59 p.m.
You're Tohru!
Which Fruits Basket Character Are You?
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Tuesday, July 8, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 04:38 p.m.
You are Sohma Hatori. 4 Cs: Cool, calm, civil, and collected. You don't show your emotions much, but you care more than others would think.
Tuesday, July 8, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 04:13 p.m.
"If I thought that before I knew what it meant to have your heart broken, I really didn’t until today. Until I truly looked into her eyes and realized how much I couldn’t protect what I should have from the beginning and how I let it slip away so easily from me.
I loved-
No, I love her so much.
Until now, despite everything, even if she’ll never look at me and say, “I’m glad I fell in love with you,” I will still remember.
I’m fighting to keep these memories of her no matter how much they’ve hurt me deeply inside.
I don’t know what to do about them or how to even express how I feel to anyone around me, but I know I can’t do anything at all about these feelings. They’re helpless and desparate, but I can’t do anything.
Nothing at all.
All this time, I thought I had accepted this fact of never having her again or loving someone as deeply as that, but now I truly understand Aya when he said, “I’m not convinced.”
I just couldn’t tell him.
I couldn’t tell him, “There was still that hope inside of me. One day, she will remember, even for a second, about me.”
That was the hope I lived on for sometime now.
Now, with seeing her giving that smile to someone else, a book has truly closed in front of me, raping me of that chance. My hope has been false all along and it is now forever gone.
But still, I truly love this woman more than anyone or anything else in the world.
I turned to one side and tried to close my eyes while whispering to myself, “I hope you’ll be happy with him and that he’ll love you even more than I do.”
Sighing, I pictured her beautiful smile imprinted inside of my head.
Yes, no matter how much it hurts, I would do it all over again.
Just for that moment when she had told me, “I’m glad I fell in love with you.”
A tear fell from my eyes, but I didn’t wipe it away.
I let it stain my pillow.
But it was just one tear, though.
All the tears I had held inside of me wouldn’t come out at all. I couldn’t cry anymore.
It wasn’t because I had become stronger, but because they had been fossilized. They would always remain there.
Somewhere in my heart.
Unable to breathe or let go."
Made a new fruits basket's fic with Hatori. (Click on the title/link above if ya wanna read.) It's funny that exactly a year ago, I had made a fic for the same subject, only I wrote it with Subaru and Seishirou.
Feeling depressed and lazy today. *sighs* Confused as hell, but ah well, that's life. ^_^
Tuesday, July 8, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 11:55 a.m.
Well, I've been back for only half an hour, but I've so much to say! First of all, I was disappointed with the selection this year with merchandise. It was pathetic, even worse than last year. I bought less than 15 dollars worth of stuff and spent more on food. *gakun*
I fulfilled my promise to a friend that I'd sing for him. It gave me a large boost of confidence because I thought my singing ability was going poorly. I guess I'll always be nervous around people.
I was so upset with the fanfiction panel. Some of the people just have MAJOR problems with yaoi/shounen ai which got me a bit annoyed at how people can expect to write and yet they are so closed-minded about stuff. Plus they classified that people who write yaoi are girls that are 14-22 who write, pretty much, smut. Someone pointed out that some are much older and married. I only classified in the 22 part, but being single, and dammit, I don't write fu----- smut! *sighs*
As for dressing up this year, it was fun, but Subaru's sleeves were WAY too hard to go through. Adri, word of advice, if you *lol* wanted to take advantage of that outfit, I'd tell you that I'd be happy to take it off gladly because all the strings and ties were...@_@! Literally! How I will do this during yaoi con with no one's help, please god help me. I'm so serious. It's a pretty outfit, just chaotic.
I had fun going to panels especially the shoujo panel and laughing so hard at the comedy section of the anime music video contest. But, this year, not many people were at the con's panels. I got in late for the Nakajima-sensei panel, but I saw her. *wince* YEA!!!!
Going back to singing and the starting of the con...;_; I was doing great until I got super depressed. About what? *blink, blink* *sighs* *sighs again* You see something you were totally not expecting. I felt like 'yeah, I accept it', but I was just totally taken aback. TOTALLY. When you think you've loved someone, though unrequited, you have no right to get depressed over seeing them with someone else. Yeah...that's me right now. I smiled at him and prayed to god that he was happy with her. I wasn't jealous though (that's not how I am though). So, in relation to singing, I was singing back at the room 'Moment's Memory' (psme cd i bought at a used bookstore, 1st ed too) to let out my sorrow.
Not to mention that fate hates me and not only do I see 'him', right after that, in the air, the radio plays 'duvet' (makes me think of Wolfye), 'Stray' (WR made me think of Adri), and 'Everything You Want' outside of the hotel as well as the restaurant playing 'You're in love' by wilson philips. Not only that, in the drama section of the AMV contest, Everything you want plays. I twitched that my whole body shook. It's the song that makes me think of him. *sighs* Love sucks I tell you. Yeah, so that was my fun, yet tiring week.
On a brighter note, I randomly went up to one girl dressed as Shuichi. I said, "Wow, you love Gravi! Yea! I love Ryuichi and Hiro, but one of my favorite pairings is Tatsuha and Ryuichi." What happens is that the girl gets really excited and nods at me. I smile back and I say softly, "I write fanfics?" Literally, I flash in 3 seconds my badge (with my nick Yui) and the girl points and me and blinks. She glomps me and says, "You are THE YUI!!!" I blink back and say, "I am...???" In my head, "Hmm??? What's going on here?" <---thinking she's an anonymous fanfiction writer
Next thing I know the girl hugs me and says, "I LOVE YOU! I want a picture!" We take a picture, but her friend taking the picture tells me "I even know you because she's talked about you so much." Me --> *honored as hell, but speechless* The girl wouldn't give me her name. ;_; She just told me she read my fics everyday.
This made up for 50 percent of all my misery. She was just one fan, but I felt so waffy and up in the clouds that i can't even imagine if I met more people or when I meet Adri in October. That truly made my weekend. Thank you to whomever you are. I really appreciated it.
song of the day: everything you want by vertical horizon
Sunday, July 6, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 08:48 p.m.
[take the test] - [by krystaljungle.com]
What rating is your journal?
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*SWEATDROP* What the f---?!
You are a phoenix.
What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox
I am an overly happy A.D.D kitten
Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
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What Angel on the Hierarchy are you?
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o_O Another fancier of the old. Good for you I
guess. Charles is seen as a fatherly-type of
person, and is one you can open up to. He is
known to be amiable and very dependable. His
genius is only surpassed by his love and
understanding of other people. He makes for a
great companion with much affection, plus, the
baldness *is* kinda sexy.
Who Is Your Ideal X-Men 2 Mate? (ladies only)
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You should be a redhead (if you aren't already).
You are crazy and have awhole lot of energy.
But you also get your feelings hurt easily.
Cheer up! We all love you!
*What color hair should you have(stereotypcally)? TAKE THE QUIZ!!!*
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Maharet
Vampires Of Anne Rice..(girls) - guys coming soon
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You are Beast!
You are brilliant and extremely clever. You can
handle almost any problem swiftly and
efficiently. You are devoted to philosophy and
are always up for a good discussion.
Sometimes, though, your anger gets the best of
you and you upset those whom you care about.
Which X-Men character are you most like?
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Switzerland -
A neutral power for as long as most can remember,
it has avoided war for several centuries.
However, it is still considered highly advanced
and a global power.
Positives:
Judicial.
Neutrality.
World-Renouned.
Powerful without Force.
Makes Excellent Watches, Etc.
Negatives:
Target of Ridicule.
Constant Struggle to Avoid Conflict.
Target of Criminal Bank Accounts.
Which Country of the World are You?
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Your magical style is Magus.
What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox
You are Guenevere the queen of Camelot and King
Arthur's wife. Guenevere was best known for
falling in love with her husband's best friend,
Lancelot, and having an affair with him.
Which Lady of Camelot Are You?
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Helena
Which woman of Shakespeare are you?
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Which ParaKiss Character Are You? Brought to you by Kira
Bride
Malice Mizer - Moi Dix Mois - Which side of Mana are you?
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The elder tree, Ruis, suits you the best.
If this was your sign and not just a result
on a personality test, there would be a chance
that you were born on The Nameless Day -
December 23rd. This day falls outside of the 13
month Druidic calendar.
Which Celtic Moon Sign Fits Your Personality Best?
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Cerriwden, Great Mother Goddess.
Which Celtic Goddess are you?
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You have Gackt!!! Go you!
What Malice Mizer Member are you in love with? (or should be)
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Sunday, June 29, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 08:20 p.m.
WAH~! I can't find Mali-chan! I've been *sniff, sniff* writing an e-mail and it bounces back and there's no more blog. *blink, blink* Doko ni iku no?! *sighs*
Ah, and thanks for the e-mail again, Yumei-san. ^_^ I can do nothing but blush. I feel all giddy, thanks! (And yes, Adri made me another layout and thanks for commenting. I love it to bits. An official pic with Subaru being hot towards the camera.)
I...I don't know what the hell to buy in AX. I mean, I don't have a list or anything. But list of things to do: 1) Go to Megami Tokiko's seiyuu's panel, 2) ATSUKO NAKAJIMA-SAMA'S PANEL(!), 3) see some flicks, 4) look for other lovers of yaoi and tokyo babylon, 5) the yearly stalking of a bishounen. (Though last year, there was no one. The closest was that Asian dude I zoomed in on because he was pretty darn cute for a Kyo. Ears and all. ^__________^)
Track record until now:
1) 1999 - wasn't into bishounen hunting. Was looking for Iijima Mari and her new album.
2) 2000 - the cute guy from the concert room. yes, I found out his name and he happened to be working in the karaoke room last year. heh. I'm scary, yes, but I didn't do anything but stare...and took a pic. And...and Jackie-san!!! Playing the first and only Vash the Stampede (before Trigun got here). DAMN. HE WAS HOT. And, that high schooler who was playing Enishi from Rurouni Kenshin (god bless that megumi ogata...i'd so marry her for her voice). The hair was so cool! And he had a pretty face. Oh, yeah, and Hayama, the creator of 'Jojo's Bizarre Adventures'. *shakes head* I blinked at him and told him "Sugoi" while getting his autograph. One of the best smirks in history. He really is a looker.
4) 2001 - Whomever had that cute face, fine body, and great smirk (as well as *dies* being polite to Duality and me) while playing Nicholas (no, not the hk cutie, but Wolfwood) sitting in the lobby of the hotel, well, he was SO nice to let us take a pic. ^____^ Not to mention his pout didn't help his case.
2002 - no one. *sighs* closest - tall, cute Asian dude playing Kyo.
2003 - ? We'll see. I hope there _is_ someone to look at. ^_______^ You can bet if there's a fine-looking Seishirou lurking around, I'm so sorry, but I'll glomp you. (Or, if you're cute like the Leggo Man or Kirby. ^^;;; I'm an addict to cuteness as well as have a weakness for it. I'm so sad. Age 22 turning 23, and still acting like a 5-year-old while looking like I'm still 13 years old.)
Sunday, June 29, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 12:49 p.m.
It may be strange, but I randomly tried this on your site Adri and on your site too Len-chan. And it's the exact same thing in both of your blogs.
What I don't find strange is that 1) I've already predicted (according to my preminitions, dreams, and palms) that I would die early. Funny that the two types of suicide I thought I would die from would be from drowning or falling. What's worse is that I thought falling was better. ^^;;; And here's the um, weird, weird quiz.
Yui signing off with 'Every Breath You Take' by the Police and will now go into hiatus mode until next week. AX here I come! Look for someone short with glasses bouncing. That's usually me. ^^;;;;
Sunday, June 29, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 12:49 a.m.
Okay dammit, I answered this honestly...
Sakurazukamori Seishiro: Psycho, seductive, pure
evil... Ok, so you seem like a nice enough guy,
but underneath you're a real nasty piece of
work! You're just lucky you've got your good
looks and seductive charms! But really, when we
get down to your 'true wish'... you're not such
a bad guy ^_^
Which dark haired CLAMP seme are you?
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Maybe this was because I was just expressing in my author's notes for the Akito fic yesterday that despite being considerate and generally kind most of the time, if you get beyond my pissed and annoyed stage, I am unable to distinguish between anything or anyone. I will just simply kill them if I get my hands on them. * scary *
'sides, I tried to do the quiz again and it just points to him. ^^;;;;;
Saturday, June 28, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 03:05 p.m.
Haruki Murakami's books...
I read 'Pinball, 1973' in my Japanese post-war literature class last quarter and enjoyed this author very much. Kind of all the wall and strange, but otherwise enjoyable. I will be reading the rest of 'Norwegian Wood' soon, but what struck me were some lines that I thought, "Whoa, that just described everything that I'm thinking.
Number 1:
"Memory is a funny thing. When I was in the scene, I hardly paid it any mind. I never stopped to think of it as something that would make a lasting impression, certainly never imagined that eighteen years later I would recall it in such detail. I didn't give a damn about the scenery that day. I was thinking about myself. I was thinking about the beautiful girl walking next to me. I was thinking about the two of us together, and then about myself again. It was the age, that time of life when every sight, every feeling, every thought came back, like a boomerang, to me. And worse, I was in love. Love with complications. Scenery was the last thing on my mind."
It's very true. All those memories you thought were locked away or wished not to recall or even those happy ones, you only pay attention to the people, but not the scenery. But I have to say, I know things come to an end whenever I'm happy about something. I look at people for a while in silence and they think I'm sad. I am, but I'm just burning their image into my mind so that I will never forget. I can still see many things like my class while taking a test in high school. I watched them when I was finished to remember everything. That particular feeling of the moment. Or when I looked at you before you went to sleep or before I woke you up, I kept on thinking for two years, "I will miss this someday, but I will remember how beautiful you are. Evil as you are."
Number 2:
"At the Hamburg airport, though, the kicks were longer and harder than usual. Which is why i am writing this book. To think. To understand. It just happens to be the way I'm made. I have to write things down to feel I fully comprehend."
I didn't realize it, but I did this whenever I wrote a story, poem, etc. I always find out what I truly thought inside of myself whenever I write something out.
It's funny and strange though. I was writing a Fruits Baskets fic about Akito yesterday/this morning because I couldn't understand him and I wanted to. He disturbed me greatly (see notes in 'More than anyone else' for more details) and I wrote that fic to understand how he saw life with this great anger deep inside. It was eating him away. And what's more, he lived upon it. But I made it that he was desparate to live and that twisted as he was, the only one who would understand was Hatori. (Which makes me think that I _do_ support this pairing in some weird light.) So, he loves Hatori because Hatori understands and cares unlike other people around him. But he knows how much Hatori's heart cannot be controlled, even if he wanted to. Except, he also knows that he values that sincerity.
Saturday, June 28, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 02:38 p.m.
man, I'm more motivated to do my blog!
ADRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SUPER TACKLE HUGGLE GLOMP* Thank you so SO MUCH!!!!! I'm smiling so much right now that I giggled because IT'S SO KAWAII!!! *__*
*blink, blink* You are a goddess, Adri. And thank god you're only mine! MINE, dammit! *laughs evilly*
*looks at picture again* *turns red* *blushes more* *is getting a nosebleed*
Friday, June 27, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 04:11 p.m.
*wince* Momiji!!!
If I ever have a kid, I hope he/she is as cute as that damn bunny! *so cuted out that she watched him squeal a billion times before going to sleep*
Friday, June 27, 2003
Subaru's teasing me at 01:52 p.m.
