rollercoaster, but going... Subaru, oh Subaru... *BLUSH* *LOL* And this IS one of my favorite djs and IS my fave dj artist, but still... What Yaoi Fangirl Type Are You?
*sighs* The weather's great...and yes, Duality, you can SO blame it on me! (;_; So kawaii~! I'm so dying each week we talk...)
I've been super busy with school and trying to find a job that I've had no real time to mess around except when I go out for the weekends to explore the city or go to the gym. I'm really frustrated about this job thing right now...so bear with me if this is the topic of discussion for quite a bit.
As far as fics though, I've to contact those who wanted to be beta readers and I've started on Calendar Boy on the side, well, all in my mind. I have a comprehensive plot all in my head but it's all hard to write out because I've to integrate Gouhou Drug, a messed up/mermaid-mental Subaru, and an environmental issue. I am extremely happy at the positive responses I've been getting these days because it's been so encouraging. @_@ Ah...whenever I feel down, there are certain people who pick me up and readers poppin' out of nowhere to tell me stuff. (*points to Adri*)
I am thinking of doing a fic for Love Mode these days...* wince, wince * I would like to explore other fandoms as well, as I've been doing with hana yori dango and vampire princess yui. But overall, if I had a choice, I'll stick with my babies TB and Gravi. *snuggles characters*
I hope this will be a good week. Well, how can I have a bad week when I've got the bitch goddess, adri, and other people I love, ne? ^_^v
Can't wait for yaoi con...
*laughs* Always the optimist...
(Oh, Duality, how do you put up with my sunshine-ness, no matter how dark I may seem to feel?)
As lonely or as bad things seem to be, I know they can be worse. I'm lucky to even be alive and to enjoy so many things in itself...so I try to be happy and 'want the things i've got' (sheryl crow's correct here).
song of the day: One more time by the Real McCoy
Monday, September 22, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 11:30 a.m.
You're Tokyo Babylon Subaru. You're kind,
innocent, and easily embarrased. Ahh...those
were the days.. ^^
Which version of Subaru Sumeragi are you? ^^
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Tuesday, September 16, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 03:00 a.m.
You're Sei-chan being a perv pic! Go you~!
Which of my favorite pictures of Seishirou and Subaru are you?
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*LOL again* Maybe this is telling me about myself that even _I_ don't know about. *lol*
Oh yeah, by the way Adri, the pic you got...is this a future premonition on your part? *wink* (Somehow, I can't help but think that we got the pics that were meant for the other 'cause you know how much I love seme Subaru. ^^v Subaru's cute and all when he's an uke, but a seductive TB Subaru really really does it for me. *_*)
Monday, September 15, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 01:49 p.m.
Powered by pMachine Quizzer
Sunday, September 14, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 09:53 p.m.
final fantasy...
Well, if you didn't know already, I am in love Final Fantasy. Number 4 is my favorite next to 1, 6, and 7. 10 really really touched me, so it's in my top five.
This morning, I wanted to make a new shounen ai/yaoi fic, so I decided to do Sephiroth. I didn't know wny I didn't think of this before since Cloud and Sephiroth had been one of my favorite pairings for the the past 2-3 years. ^^;;; This time, I took it in the Kingdom Hearts universe and made a au-ish past for both of them.
I have to say, I know I was aiming to write something that would be deeper than the lime I'm used, but not passing the lemon level 'cause I'm just not comfortable with that type of thing yet. It was quite amusing.
For some reason, I really loved the fic. It was a song fic and there were many things left explained. It's not totally crazy, but nor is it totally sane either. It was balanced, but I enjoyed it so much. Sephiroth always wandering to become stronger while Cloud is trying to find him because he wants to assassinate him. But both of them fear the day this bond of theirs would break, this hate that isn't exactly hate.
Lots of people ask me why I love to write, but I just smile at them. Inwardly, I can't tell them that I'm able to become anyone and anything like an actor. It's a privilege to be able to become the characters you love so much. And to think there are even some who appreciate what you do...it's awesome. Simply awesome.
(Yes, I'm better from being physically fatigued by life and especially school, but I'm feeling much better now. The bitch goddess has blessed me. I can't wait to meet you Adri.)
Song of the day: One Winged Angel by Uematsu Nobuo
writing advice for the day: what's something that you would never do or think is beyond society's mentality? It was weird reading this story about a father who fell in love with his son (I've done that before, but it was convoluted). and then you realize, no matter how much people are so weak or strong...and that this is just really unstable...people are just people. Now i've got a fic in my head...
Sunday, September 14, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 02:22 p.m.
Poem from intro to 'the piece meant for you' (both by me, of course)
I wondered when you would come back to me,
I waited, thinking you were waiting for me.
I found that I was wrong.
Nothing can keep me away from you...
Except myself.
Sunday, September 14, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 01:46 a.m.
I'm called a social anti-social person...
You're shy! You have some friends bt not many
because of how shy you are. Oh well being shy
isn't the WORST thing!
What emotion type are you?
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Saturday, September 13, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 09:31 p.m.
writer's block...don't want to do anything.
twisted petals,
small but ever painful.
i sing and sing
where nothing grows,
overgrown with sorrowful dew
instead of green.
i seek for which will not be granted,
an aspiration which should
never have been asked.
i killed my heart today
before i could cry a tear,
no words to say goodbye
no words to say hello,
type and type and type
to kingdom come,
where nothing shall ever grow.
winding vines
that suffocate and pierce my body,
bleeding beyond belief.
i walk among the living,
a corspe with
a sincere, loving smile.
that's how actors and actresses live,
smiling all the while.
how beautiful to learn so much
from life, so cruelly.
a beautiful smile
to be worn
while inside,
being slowly eaten away.
kill this feeling deep inside,
a disease feeding off of me.
kill it from the source.
i hate my heart,
with much passion i never knew before.
don't feel like blogging this week, i'm going to curl up in a shell and study because that's what i do best. ^_^v how i envy kasumi tendou right now.
this is the rei ayanami complext, len. you don't care for anyone or anything. you look at people but won't let them look within. you speak wondering if anyone truly listens when you won't even listen to yourself. gradually becoming unfeeling 'cause you hate being hurt all over again. selfish, yeah, but what the fuck. as i always say, 'what's there to lose when you've got nothing in the first place? so go for it because there's only to gain, ne?'
Monday, September 8, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 01:42 a.m.
interesting... *wince, wince*
I think women are beautiful as well as men. I know I have bi-sexual tendencies...but this??? *blink, blink*
Dammit, Adri, why'd you have to be so cute???!!! You're wearing me down and I haven't met you yet!
Dude, and I thought saying Duality was cute was enough for me. I'll have to re-think about being Bitch goddess's willing slave now. o_O?!
As for fanfics, ^^v be prepared for steamy moments with Akito and Hatori as well as Subaru and Seishirou. You can't expect me to leave Subaru in a geisha outfit unharmed, ne? Hee.
Sunday, September 7, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 11:00 p.m.
they're so...me (or amusing)....it's scary.
Why is this a woman's name? --;;;;;;
Friday, September 5, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 01:09 a.m.
Friday, September 5, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 01:08 a.m.
Friday, September 5, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 12:57 a.m.
long day, but amused...^_^
oh, my brother was really amusing today. he answered one question as such:
"it's already mine, just not in my possession. _yet_."
*pastes this quote on a sticker and puts it on Adri's head*
Thursday, September 4, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 09:32 p.m.
vivir la vida.
Nasaan ako? I don't know where and what I'm doing. I'm fascinated by the fact that I've all these ideas and that I'm liking school. I just feel so tired right now. I'm so physically beaten up that I can't even keep my eyes open right now. And this is _me_, the insomniac.
I have been writing all these fics lately and I can't help but be proud (oddly) by the strange pairings and the perspective I have about them. I'm having too much with Akito and Hatori. Fucked up pairing, but damn sexy. Subaru going crazy and being cute...aww...the stuff dreams are made of. Ah, fanfics are my sanctuary. the only thing I think I can do without ever getting tired or feel ashamed about. I know I'm not that great, but people make my day whenever they tell me 'you're my favorite'. greatest feeling in the world.
I want to stay focused to be able to write more while keeping up with school, but is that possible? I live two different lives on the net and real life. I feel like I'm two people even though they're both me. That's why I love Ryuichi because that's how I am about life. Make it look easy when it hurts as hell.
Dammit, I need a hug...
song of the day: *thinks of Gabriel* Spanish version of 'Whenever, wherever' by Shakira.
Wednesday, September 3, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 06:49 p.m.
yeah~ baby!
LEVEL 1: Total addict
Hey, welcome to the club! You're clearly obsessed
and that's why we like you. ^_^ You're one of
those fans who wonders just what's taking the
next part so long(!?) Maybe we should start a
self-help group...
How addicted to Gouhou Drug Are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 07:47 p.m.
I swear I didn't cheat! *wince*
Tatsumi Seichiiro
Which Yami no Matsuei Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?
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A yaoi Fan
How much of a Yaoi fangirl are you?
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Sumeragi Subaru: sweet, kind and caring! Of course
you can be a little naive, but that's not a bad
thing! Just don't let it cloud your
judgement...
Which CLAMP uke are you?
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You will be killed randomly.
Yami no Matsuei: What way would Muraki murder you?
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Solitude
What Kanji word best suits you?
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You are Tsuzuki Asato! Kind, loving and for the
most part, innocent. Everyone loves you for
your kind and generous personality. Except
Terazuma. Terazuma would hate you. ;_; But
you'd have Hisoka in a heartbeat!
Which Yami no Matsuei Character Do You Relate To Most?
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You Are: REM SAVEREM! Vash and Knives' suregant mother, you are one of
the most enigmatic of the Trigun characters.
What we do about you is that you are a very
kind and loving person. You view the world
through rose-tinted glasses, always wanting to
see the best in everyone. You are a very firm
believer in 'love and peace' and believe that
everyone deserves a second chance. We just
can't help but like you, despite the fact that
you live 'a life of contradictions'. Despite
all this, you stand firm in your belief that no
one has the right to take the life of another
and that everyone has the right to a future.
You are the living embodiment of the word
'optimist' and will always do your best to
assure everyone's happiness!
The Trigun Character Text of DOOM
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Woo. You're Faye. Sexy AND smart. You seem
heartless and cold, but chance circumstances
reveal your tender, vulnerable self.
!-Which Cowboy Bebop Character are you?-!
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You're Ryo. Calm and collected, youre not quite
sure of what to do when put into personal
situations, but you're always prepared at work.
Youre an excellent police officer, but you may
need to work on your social skills a bit. Good
for you anyway; you keep your cool and dont get
mad easily!
What "Fake" Character Are You?
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Kohaku!
What Clamp Wish Character Are You?
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You are Chii from Chobits! You are very cute and
silly. Some people may think you're a little
weird or ignorant, but that's normal, you're a
persocon.
What main character from a Clamp series are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Hikaru Shidou of Magic Knight Rayearth. Do
me a favour ok? Don't do the "I love
everyone in Cephiro" thing, take Lantis.
Which annoyingly cute female CLAMP main character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
TOKYO BABYLON! You have angst, but also humor. You
have an odd fashion sense, but can pull it off
better than most people. You tend to tease
those around you, or maybe even get teased by
those around you, but live with it. A great
sorrow has either happened to you, or will
happen, but you will pick up the pieces and
move on because there's a bigger picture to
preform afterwards.
Which CLAMP manga are you based on your personality and preferences?
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You're Seishirou!
Which Clamp X Angel Are You?
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Kyou x Yuki from Fruits Basket.
What Hinted Shounen-ai (Yaoi) Couple Is Your Cup of Tea?
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Friday, August 29, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 10:18 a.m.
poem - bleeding heart (by me)
Bleeding heart
with tired eyes
want to cry
but can't.
Find myself
falling with sadness
at everything
around me.
Want to get away,
but can't ever go away.
Torn inside
love eating at my bones,
optimism burning my flesh.
I find I make love
to someone who isn't
mentally there.
Outside,
inside...
we dwell inappropriately.
Loneliness will eat me
and I will somehow decay.
Not enough water to cry
as I'm left
on the Golden Gate Bridge
hung out to dry.
Wishing for the Rainbow...
the shrine called
the Rainbow Bridge.
Friday, August 29, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 10:13 a.m.
the mini adventure...
I just came back from walking all the way from the Bart station at 7th street (the civic center) to Japantown and back. A total of (from my feet outside my apt. and back) 3 hours and 10 minutes. Not bad.
I've to do homework, but I have to say that even though I am an LA girl, I fell in love with that small town. I've gone to Little Tokyo a million, bajillion times, but I always felt like such a tourist, no matter how much the people in the anime places remembered my face, esp. Kinokuniya. ^^v
For the first time, I felt so...peaceful? I don't know, but something said, just up and move to that town 'cause you feel at home. I've never had that feeling before. I was so comfortable, but I went in and out (grabbing XXXHolic of course since Tsubasa came out in Japan yesterday). *smiles* Yesterday was a miserably tired day with me running from place to place. What else is new, though? But yesterday wasn't too good or too bad, just not that memorable. Today is. Wonderful, wonderful.
I felt like I was home. (On a side note, Duality...^^v I know where the bishies are hiding. *lol* And because the school year has started, there's a GOOD amount to look at now while walking around campus. v^^v)
Thursday, August 28, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 01:58 p.m.
figures...again.
A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven albums.
Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
individuality.
Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.
What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I love watching sports, doing them is another subject. Really, I suck at them. ^^;;;;; But it's true, I can't live without my walkman/cd player. *wince*
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 02:52 p.m.
Figures.
Protective
Which Tsuzuki-san archetype are you?
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Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 11:39 p.m.
so many things
I've gone to two orientations in less than one week. I feel like I've been put through the washing machine and dryer. My head's swimming because I've been going back and forth on campus while singing to myself and finding what else do I need to do.
I've been productive, but overall, I've been lazy this summer. Everytime I had the computer, I wrote a fanfic (yea~), but there were so many things I didn't do. But I'm glad only 2 important things were not finished and the rest of my checklist. (Yes, Duality, I still had a ntbk functioning as my 'planner'.)
Right now, I plan to write more chapters for fics and see how hard graduate school is. I hope it doesn't kill me. I'll be able to graduate in two years if I take two classes during the 'intercession' and that's all they allow anyway.
I'm thinking of making a one-shot for Fake. I've read the second volume for now and damn...usually I don't go for the suave type, but dude, I'm so falling in love with Dee! * winces * (The children in the orphanage did it for me.) Also, I plan to start up again on kimi no youni and forever yours. I've got 13 in progress and started 2 new multi-chaps when I just finished 2 multi-chaps. It's so hard because when you go from fandom to fandom you want to go back to, for example, Inuyasha but you can't think of something and then readers ask for more. ;_; I'm so honored. Sometimes I think I've lost my touch.
Been thinking about too many things. And I'm trying to adjust to San Francisco. Nice weather and all, but I still like LA.
On a side note, Adri, I usually tease Duality with 'beautiful'. *lol* But now *puts sticker on Adri's forehead* That's you. And what's this about being your geisha? *lol* Is this done through consent or have I've been dubbed it regardless? ^_^v The Seishirou to Subaru effect indeed...
And bitch goddess, I wasn't being impetuous. *smiles*
And hi hi Mali-chan! ^^v
Song of the day: Amber - li da di
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 10:24 a.m.
patience...
here i've been for about 3 1/2 hours trying to put a quiz and fic up because the T1/LAN connection became slow again. * sighs * No, I wasn't bored. I have to get up at 6:50 am to line up for my school books at 7:45 am. Armed with a Natsume book and Furuba manga 12 (finally!), I'm set to stand in the cold, not that it's much to me as long as I'm not bored. (Pika, I think I'm more patient than I think. ^^;;;;;)
The results of my spur of the moment project:
Too late! You're in love with Tokyo Babylon more
than you should! You can't stop thinking about
it because it's so awesome and beautiful!
How obsessed are you over Tokyo Babylon?
brought to you by Quizilla
Monday, August 25, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 03:28 a.m.
the latest subaru and seishirou fic
I didn't think I would write another piece from Seishirou's death so long ago. Ironic that I wrote it in August...isn't that the time he 'died'? I forgot for I don't own Asuka from years back.
I wrote it because Seishirou, who tricked Subaru into thinking he was a 'kind vet', smiled like his 'old self' in the end. Different from any other smiles he has ever given in the series. (Yes, I'm picky with Subaru's and Seishirou's details.)
I don't know why I wrote this. It dwindled in my brain for weeks. And now that I miss my family and I'm alone in my room, I suddenly put on the Stylistics and thought about my dad. That's his favorite group. And then I thought of mom's favorite group, Cascades. They're complete opposites, but these artists had similar songs...I never thought of that way before.
I listened to "you are everything" and cried. I guess I'm trying my best to always say 'I fear nothing' and 'I can do anything as I damn well please as long as I try hard'. I smile weirdly when I get this way. It's confused, yet still sincere. The power of suggestion is powerful indeed. 'Convincing yourself' might as well be called self-deception. And yet, I live this way. Trying to be the optimist and seeing things that people usually tell me, 'your perspective's a lot brighter than mine.'
Love is death indeed. Either way, and either extreme, it kills you or you kill it.
And everyday in my mind, when I'm quiet, I learn something new about liking Subaru and Seishirou and how I perceive love and life. Twistedness is beautiful indeed.
But why...why do I always get to a point that I feel like Shuichi falling the ground in episode 8 of Gravi? When he falls to his knees just suddenly crying after seeing Sakuma Ryuichi perform? The person who had changed his life? Wanting to just cry so hard without telling why. What the hell have I become...
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Splashing my blood onto html format at 01:13 a.m.
