the ax report
i've been back from ax for a whole day and even though i should have written a report earlier, i needed a day to recuperate. to tell the truth, this year's experience was quite bittersweet. even though i had lots of fun, i was very moody for various reasons. maybe i was being childish, but as commercialized as ax is, i love going for the atmosphere. i wake up every morning as if it's a vacation in which i have no worries and it's nutty to the point that i feel like a little kid.
registration took forever. i stood (yes, i didn't sit down) for 2 hours and 30 minutes on friday and ran over to opening ceremonies. the girl in the back screaming at the seki tomokazu parts was me. *proud*
i went to several panels and gatherings this year. i wanted to go to the chigira and maruyama panels, but everything i wanted to do was on SUNDAY?! and THEN, OF COURSE, seki-sama was priority (after i had to line up for masquerade tickets). HE IS SO ADORABLE. There is just no other way to say it. From the way he talks, his blond hair, his sentai cds (and this one dvd in which i realized kappei was in it but didn't get to bid for in the auction), and overall, he just is. god, he's so cute. * winces * i waited in line to get in (and thanks to my friend) and waited to get his autograph. i brought my sound story booklet to be signed because he changed my life when he played shuichi. if it weren't for his cuteness, i wouldn't have been the shounen ai or gravi writer that i am now. that's why i had to say 'i love you' like a dork. that and the fact that the girl in front of me (who went bishounen hunting with me and i talked to her 'cause she had a tezuka doll around her neck) and the girl behind me both told me, "hey, i've read your stuff before." "how do you know it's me?" "you're the only one with that name. so i know it's you." * winces * *happy* =^_____^= And here i thought i was anonymous.
i had fun cosplaying and going to gatherings. but there was this one Cloud that i wanted to glomp during the yaoi panel. *hahahaha* i didn't, but when i saw him again, i asked to take his pic (he's hot) and i told him, "i think you're really cute!" yes, i have no shame. but i ;_; didn't get to glomp that cute ryuichi cosplayer. she was so adorable. *_* i walked all over to find her, but she was gone. *sighs*
there are many, many things to say. like the fact that i was searching up and down for mirage of blaze, bought an akira hojo dj (yea~!), bought xxxholic manga (i love this a lot, but the clear file poster was too expensive, however, i WANT that thing 'cause i really like yuuko and watanuki. *sighs*), kept on looking for this one friend in one booth and didn't see her at all since friday, went to masquerade (and the mecha, pet shop of horrors cosplayers, and tsubasa people were SO SO COOL AND KAWAII~!), made new friends (of which i will be attending yaoi con with), got to see the poster boy of yaoi con Shiki-sama (who just gets more and more beautiful every year...i have nothing but admiration for this person 'cause he's so humble in personality, but pretty), and played dance maniacs in the arcade.
but throughout all this, there was something that made me so bittersweet. i kept on thinking that i wanted something to happen. don't know exactly what i was waiting for, but i wanted something to. it's strange to explain it, but if i say that i didn't see some particular people, then maybe that's a sufficient explanation. this just shows me how completely my certain hope has totally vanished before me. and so, i had fun with crying while watching mirage of blaze. naoe! takaya~! * sighs * i guess i'll always love twisted love stories, but to counter that, i love gravi. and gravi always gives me a childhood type of feeling because it's always so fresh.
on a sweeter note, the Full metal alchemist cosplayers were really cute. i liked a certain group's skit and they won for presentation. colonel mustang and edward...*drool*

song of the day: shanghai by faye wong

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Wednesday, July 7, 2004 at 09:53 a.m.

headin' to anaheim
well, i'm heading to ax this weekend. ^^v unfortunately, 1) i didn't understand how to make that nurse cap, so i'll just arrange my hair like kazuki's usual style, and 2) i'm not doing shiina this year 'cause i couldn't find jewelry. ^^;;; but i'm happy for the rest of the trek on over to anaheim. my lil bro's already there. my daddy modified my outfits and my mommy helped me shop for my costumes. ^____^ I'm happy that it was a family effort this year and that my parents like that my bro and i go to expo 'cause it's something fun for us.
if you're coming this year, say hi to me! i'll be concert nuriko of gravi on friday and kazuki for the rest of the weekend. ^^v
and now that i'm a little over my writer's block, i'll be able to write fanfics as soon as i come back.

song of the day: save me

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Thursday, July 1, 2004 at 10:13 p.m.

your eyes never lie
i had a wonderful time in westwood today. i am always re-energized whenever i go there.
but after repeated discussion, i wonder why some people cannot sincerely wish others the best without being envious. it is natural to be jealous, but why do these feelings get in the way of telling someone good luck and how proud you are of that particular person's achievement(s)? i wonder why this has been alluded to sincerity. a while ago, i never understood that until duality told me that there were some people who didn't wish others well. and that made me sad. that made me so sad. love shouldn't feel so ugly. it wasn't meant to, that's why. but at least i know what's true love with this experience with people.

song of the day: space boy and killing my love from initial d

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at 11:10 p.m.

graduation
Last week, I went to one of my close friend's graduation. It was funny in the sense that I met this girl by chance because we didn't come close until something very big happened. But out of that ordeal, a true friendship was born. And when I went to her graduation, many things went through my head. I wanted to say many things. I wanted to answer all those people who ever asked me if 1) ucla was a good school to go to, and 2) did I liked it.
Looking back, I now miss those days because I developed into the person that I've wanted to be, but still working to improve those not so good traits. Along the way, I didn't like the school. I didn't know I liked it until I left. It gave a lot of trouble. Some people think you're snobbish when you go to *insert sarcastic woohoo here* ucla sometimes and some treat quite differently. As for myself, I just wanted to grow. I didn't want to die, but nor did I just want to pass through. I wanted to leave my mark.
Every time I think that I could have done my original plan of things, I now realize that that wasn't for me. Or, it wasn't time for them yet. And so, when I heard the key note speaker and a professor speak, I affirmed what I thought I thought the first time I went there. And that will stay within me. But most of all, what I learned when I came out of the Pavillion that day was that ucla taught me how to think. It taught me how to carve out the person I needed to be as well as chip away all the crap that used to rule my life. Until now, I am sometimes scared about my own idealism. But then I remembered what this close friend told me a long time ago. She told me, "I like you MA. You don't like people because of what they have, but by who they are. I don't think you even think about things like that."
That made me feel really good. And I was happy and very proud to be her friend. ;_; God, she's so intelligent!!! If I had even half the mouth she had...wow.
I know I have made many mistakes. I know there are some who are unhappy with me because they think I've forgotten them or haven't been there. I know this. I am always mad and disappointed with myself for this. I've wanted to make a fic about friendships that don't last. But it's funny, I remember each of them. Each person that has passed me and has made an impression on me on anyway, I can describe to you what they did and how. Just as equally, I am upset at some who have forgotten what it meant to be a friend.
Someone asked me what it meant to be a best friend. What it meant to treat someone with so much love that you don't know what to do with it. I'm not good with words and I am slow. After a year, I finally figured out something: Friendship is not precious because there is someone to support you. It is not even because this person picked you up when you needed it at the most important time in your life. It isn't even because they made you grow. It is precious because that person allowed you to love them. You were honored to be able to be with such a wonderful, awesome person. In that brief time, because people come and go, you made such an impression that they loved you back. And they come back. They'll come back over and over. THAT is true love, care, and support.
That's why I remember. Even the person that hurt me the most. Even the person that I hurt the most. I am imperfect being, and these people that I became close to, they knew that and still let me love and be with them. And they loved me from the bottom of their heart. That's why I still struggle to push my idealism. I have grown up, but I can still love and care like a child, so wholesome until you or I can't breathe.
And from these complicated feelings, I write my fanfics.

song of the day: killing my love by Leslie Parrish (Initial D)

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 07:54 p.m.

omedetto, atashi no tenshi~!
it's my darling's birthday today...in argentina. ^^v i just wanted to say how much i love you so much, through and through. for if you weren't here in the world, where would i be?
you always make me proud to know a person like you. (even though you hide once in a while. ^^;;;) I love you, I love you, I love you~!

SONG OF THE DAY: BLURRY EYES by L'arc

translation: kokoro wa hanarete yuku. (my heart will always stay distant.)

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 05:30 p.m.

writer's block
i don't know why, but i've been really slow these days. i've gotten a rotten case of writer's block. now, anyone that knows what this means, it means something bad. for those who don't, this means that yui is severely suffering from fanfic withdrawal. i really can't seem to think of much these days. no ideas are flowing and i'm frustrated because i'm usually much better than this.
then again, there have been a lot of things to think about. * sighs * why can't i just relax and enjoy a day without thinking, 'finish something, damn it.' maybe i'm just a workaholic, but i feel like i've really wasted time if i don't accomplish something for the day.
i wish i were a stronger person to deal with annoyances about my own shortcomings. if i were a more patient person, then maybe i could deal with things better.

song of the day: hero by papaya

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Tuesday, June 22, 2004 at 09:58 p.m.

i'm...truly a nerd.

Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK] You are a Trekkie! It's a geek, Jim! You probably have a starfleet uniform and a tricorder. Bonus points if you speak klingon. One day you will walk down the aisle with your buttertroll trekkie partner, humming to the Yoyager theme. More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Y	Yum
U	Unnatural
I	Industrious

listening to l'arc
these days, i've been listening to certain l'arc songs. because i love music and hearing new songs, it takes me a long time to get through a whole album because i will listen to something for a long time. i'll listen until i fully get the feel, even if it will take me a couple of weeks while listening to the same thing on repeat.
lately, i've been listening to 'the fourth avenue cafe'. i have heard many l'arc songs. (makes me wonder if hyde-sama has gone through such a deep heart break that it can only be expressed through these songs...) and the fourth avenue cafe is one of a kind. i can feel nothing but seasons and colors whenever i hear it, and yet it tells a sad story of a street that carries memories that will never come back. the person that the singer loves is gone, and yet the sound is so vibrant that i can't help the power of bittersweetness at its peak.
i am now listening to another song. it's the one that i was told that i'm most like. i thought it was ibara no namida, but that title came only second (even if it is my ultimate favorite of l'arc's songs). as i listen more to glass dama, it is as complicated, weird, and moody as i am. beautiful, yet twisted.
i think i'm going through a phase in which whenever i look at subaru, i think, 'i wonder if i'll someday be crushed by my optimistic ideals. the more i fight on my principles, the more i have to confront from the past. am i really as strong as i want to perceive myself to be?' and yet, i believe i am. even if i have to hold onto my last hope, i will not give up.
that's why i was very proud of myself when i finished my first xxxholic fic yesterday. there were many things i didn't realize about myself and what i thought until i wrote the whole thing out:
1) "These days, humans in all their ‘convenience’ from time to transportation, even at the cost of people’s lives, have forgotten that you can never get the maximum while paying so little. It cheapens you in all ways.

And it’s sad that the word happiness is used so lightly, with its meaning diminishing with every passing day as long as people refuse to comprehend its true nature.

True happiness is nonexistent in this world.
‘Happiness’, in reality, causes unhappiness for another.”

2) "Just because someone tells you that you shouldn’t love them a certain way, does that mean that you don’t? If they are with another person, does that automatically mean that you can’t be with them?
She was just confused if the boy was worth fighting for. If she had done the right thing all this time."

3) “Just because something appears perfect in your eyes, does that automatically mean that it should be yours?...Just because you prefer something doesn’t mean that it particularly suits you. It sounds odd, but it’s true.”

song of the day: (still) the fourth avenue cafe by l'arc en ciel

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Thursday, June 17, 2004 at 12:05 a.m.

wow~
i can't believe xxxholic is going to be released as a movie next year??? *winces* oooh, i'm gonna look forward to that, kingdom hearts 2, advent children, and final fantasy. (Kappei will be 40 years old.) what i'm not looking forward to next year: turning 25 years old. ;_; i'm old.

song of the day: hello by hyde

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Monday, June 14, 2004 at 05:22 p.m.

ax prepping.
i don't know how to say goodbye (by me, for a gravi fic)

It was a miracle that you came.
I was about to leave
And this was our chanced meeting.
Do you believe in fate?

I’m a lost little boy
In the great world,
Still keeping my childish heart
Even though I’ve become a man.

But tell me when you look at me,
When you look at my eyes,
Tell me that you don’t believe in fate.
If that’s true,
I guess I’ll have to chase you
Until the end of time.

I don’t know how to say goodbye…

The seasons will change
And you and I will look at different things
But what did you do
When you hypnotized me?

Tell me there’s no such thing as ‘unrequited’,
That’s a word I’m unable to accept.
I’ll break every rule
That fate has if we’re not written
To be together.

But every time you break my heart,
Your eyes bring me back
For more aches,
I’ve learned to hate the word
‘hope’.”

What? What do I do?
If I want to be near you,
Thoughts are not enough.
But the seasons are changing too fast
For an answer to come
To you and me.

On a busy street,
Many seasons have already passed,
I saw you standing at the corner
Waiting for the light to turn green.
Did you recognize me?

Tell me you believe in fate
Because I don’t know how to say goodbye
To the dream
That came to life
Before my eyes.

well, fanfics have been underway. i don't know how i can think of one daily, but i'm trying. it's quite difficult because i want to do a range that is besides gravitation and tokyo babylon. and if i do gravi and tb, then i'll do something different the usual. like this time, i made a mika fic. i really do like that one even though it was hard to convey the awkward position she has between touma's wife and being eiri's sister. ah, well, things like that have been running through my head.
plus, while i was gone, i found out i was voted for my juubei+kazuki fic to use in a round robin. i say, 'cool'.
(Yui is deprived of fma and tenipuri...so excuse her lack of vivacity, if it becomes visible within this entry.) anime...i'm curious as to what happened in koi kaze 8 'cause it wasn't aired, but put on the tv asahi website to be distributed that way. i wonder if that's good or bad...i've been quite irritated with the anime. i like the sister, but her onii-chan is such a wimp. makes me want to slap him. i've been actually watching old anime so that i can get ideas for fanfics.
well, besides all this, i've been looking for costume stuff. *lol* and clothes in general. needed new wardrobe and things that fit. ^^

song of the day: the fourth avenue cafe by l'arc

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Sunday, June 13, 2004 at 11:10 p.m.

thought so. i always get kenshin. *smiles*

Which Rurouni Kenshin guy is the man for you?
brought to you by Quizilla

but my favorite character was here too~!

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Friday, June 11, 2004 at 09:55 p.m.

(skip if you want) bishies...
i know there is no point to this post, but i just have to say...*nosebleeds* WAI~! KIPPEI IN A TOWEL?!?! he has SUCH a great body!
after my wonderful brother went to PMX and called me during the TMR concert and waited 4 hours to get his signature for me, I'm SO HAPPY~! THEN, he bought I, My, Me Strawberry Eggs. I REALLY LOVE THIS SHOW. I can't believe i'm watching it all over again. demo...demo...hibiki amawa sensei is so PERFECT. P-E-R-F-E-C-T. i dont' usually like guys with long hair, but he is so beautiful! and he's so inspirational~! okee...okee...so i'm being shallow and i have to say i love his cross-dressing tendencies and love his body (ass, arms, stomach, everything...). ;_; so i can't help it if every time he's on the screen, i squirm, squeal, and grin like mad as if kappei were voice acting throughout this whole show. ;_; i'm hopeless...

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Wednesday, June 9, 2004 at 02:00 a.m.

back in syndication!
hi hi! for the past weeks, i was literally in pure bliss. =^_^= i did nothing but sleep, read, and cook. it was great! i had a lot of ideas in my head for fics, but only 2-3 actually crystallized into something tangible, aka i got to write it down. what did i write down? a fruits basket one for momiji which i did as a dedication for ms. ritsuko okazaki, who died last month. she was the furuba theme singer. the next one i did was a suby-sei one that i did before momiji's fic. these two dealt with different themes and i actually liked doing them. for momiji, i was trying to aim for an 'every day' effect and that it's hard to function every day when you're bogged down by stuff. as for subaru, there was this image in my head and it wouldn't go. i loved the last line in which he says that in everyone he kills through seishirou's former title, he feels that he's killing seishirou each time because he didn't save him. i like this twist because sometimes you take people for granted, thinking that they'll always take care of you. that's not true. i know duality has told me that i shouldn't think that sadly, but on the upside, it makes me appreciate the time i spend with people more.
yosemite. all i can say is that after walking up and down 2 mountains, a valley, and an icy river, whomever i need to chase should be ready that i'm going to do my damnest to get them. ^^v <---insistent
feels weird that i've not said anything for only 2 weeks, but it feels like i isolated myself from the world. oh well, it's great to have a break. ^_^
thank you, mali-chan and yumei-chan! ^_^ i'm glad you liked 'mahou'.

song of the day: shining over you by hyde

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Monday, June 7, 2004 at 09:38 p.m.

"Mahou"
this is the song i made for ryu and subaru, having loved them around this time, 3 yrs. ago. of course, it is ryu singing to subaru.

“Mahou”
By Sakuma Ryuichi

There was once, once upon a time, when I thought the world was dead.
The look in your eyes was gone.
When I looked at the ground, there were people all over the streets,
And I would continue to walk, not knowing what to do.

Then, there were demons that possessed people’s minds for a while,
But you couldn’t do anything about their hearts.
Despite all this, I could still look at you,
And you still kept the light,

dim as it was, maybe I’m imagining things,
You and I have seen many things from this world,
And yet we still continue to walk without wavering.
Separately, but forward.

But if you could look deep inside of me,
You would find that I am empty.
The day you smiled at me
Was the day I cut open my heart
Just for you to keep.

I didn’t care if it was unreasonable, foolish, or selfish;
That was the time I understood what ‘truth’ meant
For the first time.

Even though people look at me as if I’m crazy,
Even though you don’t speak a word of the atrocities,
We still carry on, separately, but firmly.

But if you could look deep inside of me,
(the magic that you‘ve given)
You would find that I am empty.
(filled with so many sad memories)
The day you smiled at me
(‘I need you‘ couldn‘t come to my lips)
Was the day I cut open my heart
(Because I wasn‘t carrying the burden alone)
Just for you to keep.
(For only you could understand.)

song of the day: everytime by britney spears
don't ask. i'm not her fan, but i like some of her songs. this song...i love it. i like the video too. it's so subaru-seishirou-esque.

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Saturday, May 22, 2004 at 02:36 a.m.

I. MUST. SEE. TOMOKAZU SEKI-SAMA.
HE is coming to AX~! XD OMG~! I missed Kikuko Inoue-san and Mikimoto Haruhiko before, but I CANNOT MISS this panel~! XD even if I have to do something drastic. For about a few hours, he even topped my liking for THE Kappei-sama! (WAH~ Kappei-sama's in Tokyo AX. ;_;) And he has been the rival in my mind, ever since! OOH. I am so ecstatic! ^____________^
Fukami Rika was so genki. Hayama was CUTE. Nightow was funny. Watase Yu is interesting. Kawarmori Shoji is SO AWESOME...and many more. They are really cool people. i've not been this hyped up over a guest (which was the reason why i even went to AX in the first place - Iijima Mari, 1999)! XD Tomokazu-sama is so so kawaii~!

* looks at the stuff she has to do today * * faints * I wouldn't be surprised if my pic was the illustration to define workaholic.

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 10:02 a.m.

oh...i am so sad...
shi-ran.cjb.net, a yaoi scanlation site has now closed. it was one of few internet places i liked to go to. i am especially fond of it because it was the site that randomly introduced me to Suna no Oukan, yes the name of my website. i didn't even know who fuji or tezuka were in the prince of tennis and i wasn't even a fan. this was the reason that i became a fan. it was so beautiful, artistic, and lyrical in its words that i became so inspired, aspiring to write that well someday.
it is the only dj that made me go all out to find it EVERYWHERE to the equivalent of my obsession for tokyo babylon. all in all, suna no oukan was something that made me cry and touched me so much. what more for signal? that dj made me bawl like a five-year-old at what time in the morning.
that's why i will miss this website.

song of the day: anata by l'arc en ciel

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Friday, May 21, 2004 at 04:05 a.m.

so typical me.

Your Yaoi Anime by eccosophi
User Name
Your Yaoi Title	Young Lust
Plot	You are being stalked by a handsome Private Eye.
Tragic Twist	He is evil, and plans to steal your soul.
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 11:58 p.m.

thanks, sweetie! =^_^=
The Hot Men.

What type of TeniPuri fan are you? (With Pictures! :O)

I also watch for the chibis, you know! But yes, sadly, I watch for one reason: Tezuka. And yes, sadly, I do look at how high those shirts go up. To date, Tezuka's has only gone up 2x 'cause he's ALWAYS covered up. He doesn't have to move much. Damn... So I rely on Ryouma, Kaidoh and Fuji to make up for the smooth stomachs. :) What? I have no shame. I tell it as it is! (What? You KNOW I have waist, neck, and leg fetish!)
And um...*raises hand* yui is guilty of recognizing all the dj styles presented for the results. =^___________^= ohohohohoho~! But to redeem myself 57 percent is for the hot men, 14 percent is for the humor, 14 percent is for the chibi eps/humor, and 14 percent is for the yaoi. ahahahahaha~!

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 11:44 p.m.

out of syndication
yui/ma...or whatever you know me as ^_^, will be out of syndication at the beginning of the weekend. i'll be starting a vacation and so don't wonder if i will not update for a while. i'll be back in june. seems like a long time? naw. (okee, for one who talks as much as me...;_;)
WAH~! no more downloading~! i need to watch a shirtless, English speaking mamoru~! and...and...what of TE-ZU-KA?!?! i love PoT filler eps! you dont' understand. ;_; and midori no hibi 8~! ;_; seiji IS SO KAWAII. and if i think that, KIPPEI~! WONDERFULLY KAWAII AND BISHIE KIPPEI~!
my shortcake~! where has my shortcake gone again??
mali-chan and yumei-chan, is this true about the wailing?? *is honored, but still didn't expect you loved me so much....* *SUPER TACKLE HUGGLE GLOMP* I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO~! so, who is coming to the gravi gathering in AX, 'cause you'll see me there. ^_^
@_@ adri....my sweetie...! don't worry, just felt like calling you. *hee* <----thinks you're very important Maybe calling you would give me more good luck than you've already given me. ^_~

song of the day: sorimachi's poison
i never mentioned that i'm a sorimachi fangirl, right? well, now you know. ever since overtime played on the international channel in 1999. XD

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Thursday, May 20, 2004 at 04:08 p.m.

you know something is wonderfully strange when...
...you go on a school computer and are going to upload a new fanfic, and then you find that someone has gone through your site in that computer. I know it wasn't when I uploaded it because I didn't upload it from the computer I'm using. ^^;;;;; Wow, I'm kind of flattered.
I'm so easy to please and make happy. =^_^=

song of the day: shakira - whenever, wherever
Wah, i miss my angel...

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 02:18 p.m.

cloud, you sexy man...
before i went to bed, i had to look at something relaxing...and thought of...CLOUD! so, i actually looked for advent children pictures. ^^v ^^;;;; i don't just do this for anyone, you know. internet searching, unless for research or some exceptions, i get kind of lazy sometimes. but cloud? all out...ah, wonderful wallpaper, that i'll only enjoy for a few days. ;_;

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 02:59 a.m.

Hmm...sexy desu ka?

What Type of Sexy Are You? (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


You represent... hope. You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 01:23 a.m.

a stressful, yet kawaii day
oh, my, freaking, god. *_* i so have to buy this when i go to expo: gravi fan book. XD why didn't i know that there were pics of kappei on it?!~ he's not that cute or anything, but his personality on pictures~! so priceless~! *is currently working on her paper, but is taking breaks with every 2 paragraphs*
oh, kappei-sama~! of all the seiyuu i could fall in love with, why, oh, why did i pick this one?!~ (not to mention, koyasu-sama was in here too AND, AND...AI ORIKASA~! XD you know i love her voice as much as megumi ogata~! so sexy~!) i love gravi! <----duality had to deal with my bursts of joy and pain while in borders. yes, i actually took the time to read it in English. hahaha....i know all the ryuichi parts in the original version... Still, kissing touma on the cheek is the cutest part. (with no implications that people from LA are converted to kiss people on the cheek...okay, that excludes me, of course...but i'm just MA/Yui... i never care about people's personal space. ^^;;;; i just hug 'em if i feel like it, whether or not they like it!)
then again, i get that back when i meet fans...^^;;;;

ah, but today has been fun so far. my students are SO ADORABLE. one of them said, with a *blink, blink*, hopeful face, 'so, you are coming to the final next week, right?' me: 'of course!' student: 'okee, see ya~!' --;;; and thank goodness for the tall student who looks like eiji-sama (who plays tezuka in the Tenipuri musical) helped me with reaching things. --;;;;; being 5 1/2 is sometimes...good and bad...=^^=;;;;;

song of the day: heart of sword by TMR

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 07:24 p.m.

*pout*
this is so frustrating. i can't believe my yahoo japan account is acting up. hopefully, it will clear up but i've got so much stuff in that folder. i've had this happen with hotmail before, so i'm kind of freaking out. since i made the acct 3 years ago, i've forgotten some of the answers to the questions. *sighs*
why oh why do these dumb things keep on happening to me...?

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 at 03:53 p.m.

an interesting thought...
* looks at advertisement * "I want to buy what you sell."

And the first thing I thought was Subaru. --;; (Then, I thought about Ryuichi.) I've not gotten enough sleep, so please excuse the excessive hentai-ness....hahahaha....

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Monday, May 17, 2004 at 03:47 p.m.

a song i made.
i should be studying for my finals...but i ended up creating a song in (simple) Japanese...--;;;;; it...actually doesn't sound that bad. however, it's so rough, but it sounds j-pop'ish.
this wknd was great! ^____^v
i really need to find a nurse outfit...*is thinking of another thing to cosplay also* i want to do at least 3 since i'll be there for 3 days. *laughs* and i'm taking lots of pictures (stalking the gatherings as something to do). i hope the masquerade will be good. the amv contest was a disappointment last year.

song of the day: hello by hyde

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Sunday, May 16, 2004 at 09:24 p.m.

whoa, no entry since nichiyoubi?!
that is amazing. as for me, i've been mostly out of syndication due to school. projects, moving, etc. all fall under that umbrella 'school'. there's just been way too much to deal with so i'm taking one day at a time. tomorrow i've a presentation and i hope that i can do well on it.
as far as fics go, i used some of my break time to make a fic for final fantasy X. though i'd rather write about cecil from ff4, i was inspired by that song called 'suteki da ne?' (wonderful, isn't it?). i was trying to plaster my feelings onto a fic and this is what i came out with. i've been debating on typing up an entry from a personal archive of a 'journal' (though it is not called that...) and have you see the difference between 'the dream to myself' and what i wrote. i actually made the fic from these feelings i had. but i'd have to say, that there were things of course modified for the story, but reading these two parallel entries, they're quite different 'cause they're two different people. shuichi and myself, though i projected my feelings through shuichi. it's like that part i said about i don't want to be taken care of, but to find someone that i can be inspired to become a better person with as well as this person with me. for shu, that's yuki. for me, i defined it as the 'tezuka-type'. it is hard to describe. i just find tezuka very, very deep. from his words to his eyes, i am in love with the way he is created and the kind of response he evokes.
if he were real, he'd be recognized for his talents, but he'd still be 'ordinary' in the sense that even though he is drawn well, he still is not the 'typical bish' you find in anime. ack, i don't know how to say this. what i mean is that a person like that (well, from my observations all these years...since i like to people watch...) are the ones not noticed often times. they're known for their talent, but no one really notices them. --;; this is the typical yui 'type', ask all her friends. hahaha.
well, anyway, i find myself trying to push all the self-doubt that has accumulated for the past year, deal with it, and persist forward.
i was reading about the vegetable in X, and his love for hokuto-chan in one of my fics and read the author's note i made. someone had upset me by saying that i wrote with 'false angst'. it made me upset, but then i saw my response to that, 'i can't make that kind of thing up. it's something i've experienced.' that's the gist of it anyway.
i still am amazed by the people who write to me to tell me about my fics, which of course makes me overflow with happiness. it is an honor to be heard and to hear those who have known the same things. i was so touched when i read someone say something about my writing on their lj. *wince* i started to get teary-eyed. it was so cute. XD i'm only trying my best, and that is enough. i still aspire to be a good writer, but if it makes me happy more than anything else in the world, then, that is good in itself.

quote of the day: 'happiness can be found anywhere as long as you try and live.' - ikari, yui
this is why she is my pen name. ^_^

song of the day: ringo no uta by shiina ringo XD so cute...

Let's play a little game of Go...^_~
Oh, look...atari. Heh. I've got you right where I want you!
Wednesday, May 12, 2004 at 10:44 p.m.

Sites I buy from (and promoting!):

[x]Anime Link - cels

Friends I love and stalk

[x]My Sweetie (and totally obsessed after) Adri
[x]Melli-chan!
[x]My Jehjeh Wolfye
[x]wonderfully twisted MD
[x]Kawaii Len
[x]Sweet Mali-chan
[x]Yumei-san
[x]Cocoa-san [x]Kamitra-san
[x]Mara-chan (fellow lover of ^_^ chisai Subaru and teenage Seishirou)
[x]Mikomi-chan