and to the last day of the year? weird weather all i have to say... i've never said this before: oh dear... a ficlet that i must share by rumblebee-san! thank you, tim! ^_^ * WINCE * *BLINK, BLINK* i'm a freak...even with pocky?! o_O
there is an old superstition in the Philippines about everything you do on the 31st is what you do all year. I don't know why I listen to that, but I do. So, here I am.
What have learned for the year? Much. What have I accomplished?
1) Finished one year of graduate school.
2) Grew a lot and matured, though disillusioned at certain stuff, but still hopeful.
3) I still believe in humanity and that kindness shall still prevail despite cruelty.
song of the day: genki and initial d stuff
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Friday, December 31, 2004 at 10:08 a.m.
got sad and pissed yesterday, SoCal is covered with nothing but rain, thunder, and lightning. sometimes having the ability to control weather is quite remarkable. ^_____^ things have perked up...but...*cough, cough* i shall stop typing for now.
rosevine-san, thanks for the thoughtful gift!!! ;_; you're so sweet...
song of the day: yokogao by ryutarou okiayu-sama
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004 at 07:41 p.m.
i am sick with a bad cold. and i don't even have the energy to cry anymore. all i must say is that i'm sorry if i'll be away again, but things are not so good. and i'm not even physically apt to deal with anything right now.
i dont' run away from life, but if there is something such as mercy, i don't believe in it right now.
on another note, ever been in a situation where someone is totally unattracted to you, but you are nothing but a dumbass with that person because you can't help it? i question the art of charming. it was amusing for me to watch. i like people watching...
song: stop your self control
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Monday, December 27, 2004 at 04:49 p.m.
desparate for fics. if you know ANY fics for ryou x taku, ryou x kei, taku x kei or ryou, PLEASE let me know. (even kei and kyouko goes well for me too!!!) i will read ANYTHING. and trust me when i say i have looked. i usually take the time to write, but this time, i need to read. *______* i can't get enough of ryou. to me, everything just says, 'you know you want me'. and the 'bad' part is, i have no objection to it. i can't resist him....i usually have good discipline about these things, but him? forget it. =^_^= just plain forget it. *SMILE*
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Sunday, December 26, 2004 at 12:37 a.m.
i have to take a deep breath. i had to stop watching initial d for a few seconds. somehow i found the exact ep with the ryou and takumi race. i'm getting more giddy than when i hear my beloved kappei. this may be the stupidest thing to hear, but my heart is beating so fast, i can't breathe. (i can feel my heart about to leave my chest.) *_* GOD, I LOVE YOU RYOUSUKE, KEISUKE, AND my TAKUMI!!!! i've always loved race car driving. i don't know what to say. i've taken time into everything for initial d. if i thought i wanted the models before, i want them more than ever now. but i want ryousuke's car to build. *takes a long, deep breath to calm down* i can't think straight. *smiles too much* they are TOO COOL...
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Sunday, December 26, 2004 at 12:29 a.m.
(yes, i did get her permission to post this here!) this is a very cute fic and i can't help but share it 'cause it's SO CUTE!!! ^_^ koyasu-sama/ryousuke you're so hot! i agree keisuke!!!!
ryou and kei ficlet by rumblebee (rumblebee25@yahoo.com):
“Now, we’re going to go over this again,” Ryousuke said, “So pay attention.”
“Yes aniki,” Keisuke said, determined not to let anything distract him this time.
But it was hopeless once his brother opened his mouth. As Ryousuke explained some obscure theory about driving, since that’s what this little talk was surely about, Keisuke’s mind began to wander, lost in The Voice.
It was like honey, a low and seductive purr that seemed to curl around him and made him think of very un-aniki thoughts about his brother. It wasn’t like he really thought his brother was the hottest thing since ABS. Ryousuke was still the same stick-in-the-mud guy who color coordinated his sock drawer and was probably the only man in the world who spent that much time on the computer NOT looking at porn. A neatness freak who ironed his T-shirts and folded his underwear for crying out loud.
It was The Voice, a velvet rumble that first appeared when his brother hit puberty. Back then, Keisuke used to laugh at his brother’s deep voice, which seemed so out of place on twelve year old. The low sound and funny squeaks from Ryousuke’s voice as it changed was an endless source of amusement for his little brother. Ryousuke soon learned to only speak if something was really important. And as he got older, The Voice got deeper.
In time, Keisuke began to realize the affect it had on him. Hypnotic in its pitch and timbre, it was an invitation to something that Keisuke wanted to know more about. And when his aniki was excited the words fell in a breathless spill that made Keisuke wonder what else would make him sound like that. Lost in the rise and falling of The Voice, he nodded
occasionally so Ryousuke would think he was listening. Then to theblond’s disappointment, his aniki stopped talking.
“So, did you get that?”
The blank look on Keisuke’s face was answer enough. His aniki shook his head and sighed.
“Okay, we’ll try this again,” Ryousuke said and pointed to the clothes hamper, “Dirty laundry goes in here...”
And once again, Keisuke was lost in The Voice.
the end.
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Saturday, December 25, 2004 at 07:33 p.m.
he's an awesome initial d player and gave me so many good points. i improved in a day. ^_~ i'm coming after you my honey ryousuke! akina! ^_____^ yes, i spent 3 hours at the arcade in a room full of boys that i don't know and was fascinated by how many playing, their styles, cars, and how nice everyone was. so much passion and good sportsmanship. i wish i can become better too! ^_____^ my mother had to drag me out of there because i just loved watching everyone! *_* akagi is definitely my favorite course. i still think i get the best high from playing ryousuke. and the pictures of him sitting on the car. *DROOL* (BTW, initial fourth stage eps 9 and 10 are so cute! i like kyouko! ^_^ keisuke...is too much like my brother. but push that fact aside, he's such a sweetie! i like him more now.)
song of the day: stop your self control (if i'm in a good mood) and blackout (when i'm dead serious in playing)
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Saturday, December 25, 2004 at 07:27 p.m.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! And as of this moment, I beat Bunta! ^^v
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Saturday, December 25, 2004 at 01:27 a.m.
what flavor pocky are you?
[c] sugardew
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Friday, December 24, 2004 at 10:58 a.m.
look at the time of this entry... *_*
i usually don't stay up to read fanfics because i usually write them, but initial d... i needed to be satisfied for yaoi! * winces * oh, the fics were really cute, funny, and/or sexy. but i found this one with ryousuke and keisuke (i was laughing so hard, but everyone's sleeping so i'm glad i've not gotten in trouble) in which keisuke cannot concentrate once 'the voice' *SNICKERS* starts talking to him. (can't blame him if it's koyasu and with a brother like ryousuke...ah...) *LOL* Ah, nothing but a cute fic to keep your spirits high. i have gone through the whole archive looking for takumi, ryousuke, and keisuke. i am completely satisfied...for the moment.
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Friday, December 24, 2004 at 04:31 a.m.
on a whim, i created a gundam seed fic
even though it was only five pages and it was mostly in poem format as far as i'm concerned, there were a lot of things i was unable to flesh out. i don't know why but no matter how much i try, i always stumped by how inarticulate i am when it is most important. my words carry their weight of truth and yet they never seem to come out well when i want to write, what more if i even attempt to say them aloud?
i am deeply pained by the inconsiderate actions of some people and my frustrations are mostly at myself for failing to understand the logic behind things. i truly don't know if i should ask to be smarter for with everything i come to know, the more i feel cornered in trying to find something.
i know that this entry will make no sense. even unto myself i am unable to comprehend myself. i have finished my soseki book and thought that it wasn't for the faint of heart. what it all meant was pure genius at the psyche of humans. i was utterly absorbed by the accuracy, especially how i always find myself in all his novels. however, now i am more curious than ever to read michikusa because i have truly found where i am at this point in my life. there are many things to consider and i will not deny the fact that certain people have been on my mind more than ever so i'm driving myself mad with school, people, relatives, family, myself and other things.
i will lose my self control. that won't be a good thing. i refuse to er...yeah, not that again... ^_____^ i on writer's block. *sighs*
i play too much initial d. i get an adrenaline rush out of my husband and his clothes. *_* baby, i'm drivin' akina!
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Thursday, December 23, 2004 at 09:37 p.m.
i needed to amuse myself.
Which Initial D Mary Sue are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
impact blue
which initial d group are you in?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a Sileighty, Fast and furious (in a
non-ricey way) you love to slide through the
turns at incredible speed with the skill of a
god such as Keiichi
What Drift Car are You? (With Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Thursday, December 23, 2004 at 04:50 p.m.
^_____^ mine!
You Are: Fujiwara Takumi!
What Initial D Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Thursday, December 23, 2004 at 11:18 a.m.
what am i currently reading?
The Psychological World of Natsume Soseki by Doi Takeo. I am a psychotic, happy little nerd. ^____^ Even at rest I study to death. Someone be kind, and distract me. (I'm on a writer's block. *sighs*) *goes back to playing Initial D* * STILL thinks Takumi has the most kissable lips in all of anime *
I have played Akagi way too many times. I want to become the princess of this course!! (In a million years, but I'm trying hard.) I can't say 'f--- you' to Ryousuke like to all the other players. Why? I actually mean it. *SMILE* (Especially when it's koyasu-sama talking and the picture with Ryousuke with white everything...) *lol*
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:22 p.m.
currently watching gundams
NOO~~~! my poor captain gundam! i don't care if my friends have said that i'm on crack to watch SD gundam, but it is really a funny, heartwarming series. it's like kirby, but there are a lot of things it's made me think about like with gundam seed. yes! finally i got to watch the first half of the series. i absolutely abhor that fray/flay, whatever. kira's wishy-washy, but i like him all right. azulan is pretty cool too. i like his idol fiancee, but i like that girl kagiri and the captain. * wince * i have to say good story and transitioning, but there's much lacking in character development. i'm kind of disappointed in that, but that's just my opinion. g-wing had a good story, but all the characters were endearing so i enjoyed that very much. but i know that hardcore gundam lovers would love to tell me otherwise. i've yet to see other series and i wish to. but gundam seed has reminded me a lot of macross. ^^;;;;;; idols and all that. but oh well. i watch because of the action. and dude, kira and azulan (i don't know how to spell his name...) only react to one another. they're quiet about everything and everyone else. ^^;; --;; oh dear. but i guess i like kagari and kira the best together or him with azu. anyone but that frey/flay/mean-evil thing. (can't even call her bitch 'cause i actually like those kind of strong-willed and opinionated people. ^^;;;)
okee, going back to sd gundam. wah~! bakunetsumaru is so kawaii~~~~~!!!!! blades of justice. *_* i love guys with swords! ^____^ which is why i always watch samurai or play rpgs with knights. i don't know why, but i've always liked guys who can fight, and a plus point if they can do it with swords. *_* (paladin lover forever~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
song of the day: sayonara (don't know the artist)
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 05:28 p.m.
stop your self control...maybe.
i'm happy that i got gamerz heaven 3 today. ^_^ but for some reason, i feel unmotivated to do anything. all i want to do is sleep and eat. and though i know that i should be happy to relax, there is something that bugs me about being lazy. but it isn't about being lazy that is troubling me, but my unmotivation to do anything but wanting to play initial d. i feel like it has given me a new kind of goal to go after. maybe i've been anti-social these days, but i've felt like i put myself into this position of loneliness that i can't quite understand. i guess i will always be a reserved person, but i question when things are too peaceful. life for me is never tranquil.
song of the day: stop your self control by marko polo
i know i'm a control maniac even though i don't outwardly show it. but some part of me just wants to be a true little kid right now. when i'm awake, i think too much. when i sleep, i have nightmares. when will this inner war end, i wonder...
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 09:06 p.m.
lyrics to 'stop your self control'. i really like this song...
Stop Your Self Control
by Marko Polo
You play me like a flipper
Up and down and left and right
like a ball
I want you to be my stripper
and take off all your clothes
in the dark
Love is just a game
No shame
With me you can live on
all the secrets you hold on to
break away all those ties in your mind
don't let me in this jimmies jammy situation
Stop your self control
Just turn me up
Just burn me up
I'm gonna take on you
So baby
Stop your self control
I'm gonna set you free tonight (ai-ai-ai)
You ride me like a cowgirl
Up and down and left and right
Like a bull
I want you to be my bunny
I'll bite off those big ears
In your head
Love is just a game
No shame
With me you can live on
All the secrets you hold on to
Break away all those ties in your mind
Don't let me in this jimmies jammy situation
Stop your self control
Just turn me up
Just burn me up
I'm gonna take on you
So baby
Stop your self control
I'm gonna set you free tonight (ai-ai-ai)...
The part I like the best is the one I italicized. It's weird 'cause I don't know what to say when people tell me i should be more relaxed.
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Friday, December 17, 2004 at 10:33 p.m.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
this guy played with the hachi-roku on akina with the most beautiful technique of drifting. *_* <--so in love with the driving. (of course the first thing i watch when i come back from such a crappy day...don't ask about the airport. delayed and checked for security (so i was molested-er, touched/checked) and all this other shit. bad...) but takumi~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!! i love you~! *_* and i like the new song i learned: 'stop your self control...'
i'm back LA. fear me.
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Friday, December 17, 2004 at 09:55 p.m.
genkiness can be dangerous to YOUR health, not mine. ^_^
duality, take care! ^_^ and i'm going back to my land where the sun shines all day - I LOVE YOU, LA~! welcome sleep, anime, and bishounen. ;_; I hope I get to see more eyecandy down south. And hangout with friends too. ^_^
song of the day: fantasy in HnG
"I want to go to sleep or eat chocolate."
Bro: "Go to sleep. It's better for everyone."
Me: "But I want Twix."
"Go to sleep."
"But, but, but!!"
"Fine, get chocolate."
"It's 'cause you're not here to get the after effects, huh?"
"I feel for your roommates...but yeah, I'm not there. :)"
I WANT THAT NEW PLAYSTATION. ;_; Sephy and Cloud are gonna be on it 'cause Advent Children will only play on that system. Squinix! Why r u so smart?!
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Friday, December 17, 2004 at 10:55 a.m.
where my heart already was
there are times
that i think i'll never make it.
there are times
when i want to give up
and i almost mean it.
i wonder about the girl
who used to play alone
and talk to herself
with no one listening.
i am a child.
i am an adult.
i am confused
if i can be both infused.
but i never knew
how my deeply
my sense of self was.
i never knew
i was more confident
than i thought i was.
my little brother used to tell me
'you're like belldandy,
only you get mad sometimes.'
i thought he forgot that.
i thought i was mean,
and never could be that beautiful.
now i see how things have always been,
how they've been changing too.
i guess i've always known myself.
my mind had to catch up
where my heart already was.
oh my God~!!!! my little brother got me one of the things i've always wanted: fruits basket dvd box set!!!!!!!! *winces* *_______* ;_; he's wonderful!
but what's up with these people whenever i go to an arcade? what? never seen a cute girl gamer play before??? sheesh. --;; so, i, um...kind of am scary with Initial D. i just love videogames. (i grow broke because of them. next to yaoi manga.) as i told my brother, my ideal date: arcade. definitely an arcade with ddr and initial d. i can't sit still in one place for too long unless it's an interesting seminar on anime, linguistics/teaching, or languages. *_* i wanna learn korean...
song of the day: dakedo baby by tomo sakurai
translation of my favorite line: today beneath the sun you are smiling at me, like the gentleman you are. (Gabe! where the heck have you been?! heh. i think the best part of you are your giggling and blushing.)
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 03:42 p.m.
i am so happy right now!
i thought i'd just share that with the world. ^____^ ahhh, gotta find gamerz heaven! i hate it when i get into something! i get so determined to have it! * wince * i sometimes scare myself with how far i'll go to get what i want. maybe that isn't a bad thing. ^_~ * chu *
ack, i love your present, duality~! it gets me all teary-eyed. you always make me feel like i am one of the best people in the world.
song of the day: only 1, number 1 in digi charat
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 02:12 p.m.
tetsudaite?
if anyone has any info on maki murakami's 'gamerz heaven', please send it my way. i have totally fallen flat on my face for it. i think i will leave this comp lab in five minutes, drop everything i needed to do, and go to j-town to find it. ;_; i wonder why i'm so impulsive this way...
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Monday, December 13, 2004 at 01:34 p.m.
my translation of ayu's
Naturally
by Ayumi Hamasaki
I want to go to that place
And I'm preparing to leave.
After that, I'll run with nothing but pure, unadulterated enthusiasm.
Even if it's close, the farther it is,
somehow, I realize that.
Even though, I don't try to see it yet; even though it appears to be an illusion*.
But still, to turn back
Is something that can't be done,
To stop at this place after coming [here].
Also, 'this stop' meant,
You were there with the me that was crying,
Scared and appearing to break.
Sadness doesn't mean completely losing and
Is only a more beautiful thing.
Hot, straight, and gazing -
Only watching the beautiful dream
Really means giving it up.
Even winning happiness,
To create it, and to try to do it,
with the reason of love, is not the same thing.
Perhaps, it's true in your head
to think excessively of the difficulties.
The intention of leaving was not the answer I was searching for.
It promises that it won't always be fun everyday.
And to pursue the finishing 'home'**,
A place that even I'm losing sight of,
In order for it to appear as if it won't hurt more than this,
I had closed my eyes; I had turned my back.
It's only a more beautiful thing.
Hot, straight, and gazing -
Only watching the beautiful dream
Really means you gave it up.
No matter what place this is,
No matter where this place is from here,
For the reasons of freedom and solitude,
At this moment, I leave my hometown.
* This part actually is "Even if it appears...". The implication is 'it looks like it isn't even there', so I translated it this way instead.
** It really does say 'home' in the lyrics, but the implication is that it's a goal the singer is trying to find for herself and yet it¡¦s also a place she has. So, it's the physical concept of home (ie family and house) versus the concept of home inside yourself.
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Monday, December 13, 2004 at 01:02 p.m.
the day after my birthday?
i'm so happy right now. i am walking on cloud nine. everything was so fun and i got to talk to so many people that i could not have asked for anything more. okay, to see a bish in rl, but i read something i bought for myself - gamerz heaven~! i didn't get it 'cause it was maki murakami, but because it was about video games! but shounen ai and video games?!?! * dies * and kaitou and nata are the cutest! they rank high with alphonse from fma. i got gamerz 'cause i had this strong feeling (the ESPer in me called to this manga, BADLY) and i did. i felt it would be inspirational. it is and more~! *kneels with head to the ground towards Maki Murakami-sama* I have another love~!
song of the day: yume kamo shirenai (maybe it's not just a dream) by the s.h.e.
Right now, I'm making my dream become reality.
Monday, December 13, 2004 at 12:47 p.m.