YOU WERE NEVER THERE

YOU WERE NEVER THERE

19 August, Tuesday. 12.24am- Eh... last night fell asleep while doing eng hw... out of the 5 compos which muz do onli did one... nv study tingxie, nv do maths, everything nv do... oh dearie... good thing kind of got cca as an excuse... coz it wun be so nice to go into the personal matters to ms ng... nowadays she always pissed when people nv hand up hw. and thanku jessica :) for being in the same situation (kind of) as me. prob ms ng closed one eye dis time because u r such a sweet good ger hu always hands up work on time ;)

Mum and Dad are arguing again. First time in... few months. over some stupid things like where to put the new computer, my sister's habit of doing hw on the floor (mine too actualli hee...), how to cable up the house so we can have nice broadband internet connection blah blah... dunno whether should feel happy or not... because naturally kids dun wan their parents to argue wad, budden... at least mum and dad are returning to their normal selves, to what they have always been doing, to what is part and parcel of family life, to what's normal between people who love each other a lot... for the last few months dey have been really really stressed out, act differently... more worried about serious important stuff than to care about trivial stuff like this... now that they are turning into their typical selves... feel relieved and comforted again... back to normalcy.

:`( *sniffle* so touched... how did she get to know? yrm... hmmm my opinion of her changing a lot- her bez fren is (quoted from wanxin abt her zhizhi) "always so happy and always jumping everywhere, she only has one kind of feeling- happy, never see her sad/angry before... like she never got problems one..." budden in some way she still has another understanding side... hmmm didn't noe about that side until recently... guess she didn't have to show it before, only now den need... tt's why... "take care coz everione cares"- v. simple & makes a lot of sense. m dun make me cry...

August 17, Sunday. 09.35pm- Gawd such a harrowing weekend... the activies were jam-packed till no breathing space liao... CD course whole day on Sat... then got big walk on Sun... usual piano lesson... so many things want/must do...

1) 5 eng essays
2) wen qi's bdae pres
3) maths circular measure hw
4) study tingxie
5) lit essay presentation
6) get auto ready

* I am not trying to gain sympathy/concern from writing whatever that's below. I just want some form of remembrance that it actually happened*

11 August, Monday. 12.24am- Hee brought Mintie over to e dog run after dunno how long :) dere were prob lyke, 5 other shelties dere as well? & for some reason she likes huskies and golden retrievers, keep chasing dem & sniffing deir butts :P. For some reason she likes to chase dose itsy bitsy dogs too, like jack russells and dis scaredy-cat schnauzer dat ran away every time he saw her ;)

Btw dad & mum r renting out our house at upper bukit timah dis wednesdae to some japanese family :) ken help cover the rent at lotus ave plus extra cash too :D

One thing I learned living here in Sixth Ave area:

Semi-d's or terraced tt r really old, with paint peeling all over and looking v. dilapidated (my house is old, but looks very decent and clean thank you) are populated by cranky eccentric sometimes suspicious old people who keep lots of cats :S okok most of the time. But 100% guarantee they are of the senior generation

Semi-d's or terraced which are renovated to look comfortable and luxurious are populated by families w/ children, sometimes dey keep dogs sometimes dey don't

Houses in between, (like mine- old, but been renovated to look pretty decent and okay) hmm I dunno. So far cannot generalise yet

Huge huge huge bungalows which give you tt shocked & awe *WHOA! breathtaking gasp got 2 types: One type is the quite open one, their fences allow you to see into their beautiful house... got statue got fountain etc... oso may keep pet dogs... probably belongs to normal typical rich families
The second type is the kind the fence 2m high, block the whole house, got trees all over the place such tt you can't see the house except for maybe their 3rd storey... dunno what kind of pple populate tt house... so secretive and high-security... aiyoh... why so liddat? Dey keep pets oso I wun noe... but dey nv have guard dogs guarding the house one... K fine if got guard post somewhere plus some stern-looking guards carrying rifle den u noe it's PM Goh's house.

Eek Dad said the house 1 row down (Lantana Ave) got burgled... aiyoh... oh dearie

5th August, Tuesday. 12.43am- Hmm maybe my dad is not all to blame. Don't know exactly how my actions affected him... I know he puts on this everything's-ok front for me but I really don't know what he thinks inside. Hmm stop tokking about this liao larz. It's over

Top 5 things Dad shouldn't do ANY MORE:

5) Approach me and poke around into what I'm doing. One thing that really pisses me off is when he's sitting beside me watching me on MSN reading out aloud every single word I am typing, and reading out aloud every single word of the replies :P. Or else he would ask stupid questions about the people I am talking to in a well-intentioned but awkward attempt to force a conversation. EVERY DAY. And not just while I'm on the web. Making bdae presents, hw, eating dinner... whatever I'm doing he must do that.

4) Get so overconcerned with every single bruise, cut, mosquito bite on me. Even those wounds with scabs the size of a pinhead (literally) he must also ask where I get from. Mentions some stupid crap on how when you get hurt, papa also hurts to see you like that. Please... which kid in the world doesn't suffer any kind of injury before?

3) Come up from behind while I am busy doing something, without warning puts both of his hands on my shoulder and say things like "papa loves you very much etc etc etc"... firstly, it freaks me out because he does it without me knowing beforehand... and secondly, I am NOT COMFORTABLE with physical contact from him. I feel suffocated.

2) Demand a kiss on the cheek from me in public places such as shopping malls. Actually I already don't like the idea of going out one-on-one with you and you trying to start another conversation, but to save your feelings I agree, go along, play along... Don't test me by wanting me to do awkward stuff like this. Please.

1)

22 July, Tuesday. 09.47pm- *Food for thought* 2dae the man in blue sae tt on exactly the same night another ny girl oso disappeared... he sae it's a 13 yr old ger... and since dey go by the age u'll turn this yr (my bdae is nov... dey classify me as 15 yr old) it shld be a s1... hmmz... go figure.

22 July, Tuesday. 09.34pm- Yesterdae... dad took me out, just e 2 of us, straight after sch... go haf nice dinner in hotel... tt point really felt like crying... but held it back in... dint want my dad to worry any more... and all the music playing in the background... the clinking of high-class crockery... carpets & paintings... it wasn't as awkward as I thot it wld be... quite cosy actually *oh gawd...

22 July, Tuesday. 09.28pm- Hmm maybe Kuo does have some sliver of conscience left in him. He did smth I dint expect him to do. Hmm won't sae here coz I feel it's not very fair to him... he's still a man who still has his basic pride in his professional course of duty...

21 July, Monday. 08.18pm- I shall phrase my words veery veery carefully here to avoid defaming our deearest form teacher. His professional job yar? Kuo is a #~!%&^@. Hmm nvm I shall describe the truth here and let u decide for urself. Truth. He kennot deny. How many classes of students heard him yar?
Starts shouting outside our class like nobody's business. When other classes are still having their lessons mind you. Look I dun mind people shouting when they scold but I do mind it and A LOT too when people do not differentiate their volume and tone when shouting to a group of people and shouting to just one person. Ms Sia actually had to come out from 3/14 and remind our deearest teacher tt students can't concentrage with the barrage of noise outside. K fine maybe he really is worried and concerned and bleahzblahz whatever but that is NO EXCUSE for him to behave the way he did. I do not hate him, I have just lost all my respect for him because his behavior shows that today this morning 21 July at reading period he is incapable of behaving in a professional manner, by reacting inappropriately to a situation he faces. Hmm this is the best way I can put it.

11 July, Friday. 01.06am- I am not doubting the doc's really noble and good intentions to let the twins lead normal separate lives... but why do they literally jump at the chance to do the op when the twins have been turned away everywhere else coz it was so risky? Singapore wants to be life-science hub... r docs too eager liaoz? Hmm nvm dun tink so much

9 July, Wednesday. 12.53am- What exactly went wrong??? Can't believe it's that tragic lorz... when the first twin went I was like oh pls the other one pls pls hold on... and den around 6pm dey said both r now in heaven... sighz. so tragic. 2dae news all full of sad sad stuff. And den dey ended off the 10pm news wif the twins waving goodbye to all the reporters... and hmm now it has taken on a second, more darker meaning. Ladan and Laleh... hope u find eternal peace... together. crie...

7 July, Monday. 8.52pm- Arghz... spending 7 hours online and counting... juz tokked to yrm, tem, wnm, xwm, alm, asm, yjm with cher, jas and cl (hmm did I miss out anibody?) break record alreadi ken :) and yeah I lost 4 kg in 3 weeks! Muz be the stress and skipping so much meals ;)

22 June, Sunday. 11.02pm- Dad's off to Switzerland on a business trip, so Mum, bro, sis and I went down to West Mall 2 eat Sakae Sushi :) So sad, now West Mall is so far... and all e MRT stations r so faraway!!! Bukit Batok, Commonwealth & Clementi r the nearest stations... and all r so far ken? CCK station used to be quite near, now dun even tink about it :P:( Nvm got more buses now :)
New house really reminding me of Penang. The stairs, the ceiling fan, the tiles etc all like my aunt's house (in M'sia) liddat. The air-con too, looks like it's installed the year I was born. But it works very well :) Was taking a walk w/ my dog Mintie around the neighbourhood, hmph got so many dogs juz rush up 2 the front gate and bark their heads off... even tiny chihuahuas the size of a football :S and some dogs dun even noe how 2 bark properly dey sound like dey r spitting out phlegm liddat... haiz... my Mintie so guai1... she barks onli for a reason :)

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don't already, write poetry, you're good at it.

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20 June, Friday. 12.47pm- Yesterday after the McRitchie outing went with Sam, Shup and Jessica to Bugis MRT, go eat the crepes dere. Hmm, eng newspaper project ken be so fun :D. Den went out in the HOT sun 2 go take pix of our clothes for the fashion part of the newspaper: streetwear and Sam bought this Mirage perfume wadeva from some sales promoter and frankly I think it's a waste of money. :P Nvm everibody is entitled to their own opinion
Den we went Orchard, eat some more crepes + lunch. By the time we got thirsty, Sam intro us to this Qoo tent wher they were giving out free bottles of Qoo if u answer qns correctly. Got the election qn wrong but goot thing I went for Moot Parliament on Monday, the leader of the Parliament is the Speaker of Parliament ;) Yay 2 bottles of Qoo!
Afterwards is the fun part :) We also decided to do prom dresses for our fashion part, and went around to several shops where no. 1: We were too conspicious no. 2: No suitable dresses no. 3: The sales people aren't v. happy. Finally went to Taka where they had nice dresses :) but not so nice tt I would wear for prom. I picked out a simple blue one wif lotsa folds + dis 2pc purple one. Sam made me try on some red dress wif dis frilly thing down the middle :P:P:P she says it fits me but I dun like it. Jessica soon got sick of the dresses and left me and Sam dressing up 2 take the pics. The dresses are really cheap too. (Coz of GSS and low demand for dresses at this time of the year) The blue one only about 40 bucks.
We wanted to go visit Zoe in Mount E, budden wif the one visitor rule and her father already dere we couldn't :( Nvm, we r getting a class card for her. Get well Zoe, and PLS START EATING!!!
Got home, was alreadi sho tired. (Muz be the Orchard crowd)Went to sleep, but was woken up by Dad for dinner. The rice + veg + sotong smelt sour. At first I thot it I was so sleepy my tastebuds went bonkers budden I became convinced tt it must be the food. Asked my sister to smell the food and she said yesh it smells funny and so my dad let me eat ang ku kueh + carrot cake + breadstix + some drink he made wif nata de coco. So nice!

17th June, Tuesday. 10.25pm- Yay. In my new house :) 42 Lotus Ave. Noe what I like about it best? Not the *wow u live in a semi d it must be so big!* not that it is grand or expensive or wateva (it is not btw) but I like the grass! Lotsa lotsa grass to lie and sleep anitime I want. Oh yeah and my own balcony in my bedroom too! and maybe the space too I guess. But I like the grass! nice fresh green grass smelling so nice esp after the rain. One thing bad however, is LOTS of insects. Big gross ones. Fine dey dun do any harm but it makes our house seem very neglected and dilapidated.