It's hard to believe that I couldn't see that you were always there beside me.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Ok, I said that I didn't care if I fail. Well, actually I just remembered that if I fail, my mum's going to drag me out of canoeing. HA.

I got back my econs paper. And I got an E. A big, disgusting E. E for Economics! Bloody hell. I know it's a pass but in my eyes, once I get below half the total marks, it's a FAIL. So I failed Econs. And I can't help feeling that way. I hate the fact that I thought that I could actually do well in it. Well, I studied the hardest for Econs. And I failed it. SO. What does that show? I'm going to fail the rest too.

He wrote a disgusting F next to my grade. So of course I wasn't happy. I added another stroke to make it an E in pencil. And he wanted to collect it back at the end of the lesson. And guess what. I couldn't erase the stroke off. HAHA. Stupid mistake. Oh well. Belinda Poon was laughing at me like nobody's business.

Oh my CT wants to see the parents of those students who have more than 2 Es. Shit mann. I have a feeling that I'm going to fail everything. And so I think he's going to want to see my mum. And I know that he will definitely say something about canoeing. I still remember quite clearly that online message he sent to some of us. Bloody hell. The first thing I saw was "Well done, you've wasted your holidays!". Ah enough about my stupid CT already. I'm tired of talking or even thinking about him. It just makes me sick.

Random quote: "How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways." Ever watched the movie 10 Things I Hate About You? It's from there. HA.

Oh I took T1 yesterday during training. My beloved partner was sick and didn't come for school and training. I was the "safety boat" for the 1000m guys. It's not easy to empty the K2 boat by yourself. And they capsized twice each. Except for Ian. Oh, I capsized at the pontoon when trying to get into the boat. I was trying to get into the boat and I couldn't balance myself and the boat was floating away from the pontoon. So I was trying to hold on to the pontoon and get into the boat at the same time. Another stupid mistake. HA.

I hope I don't look in back in two years and think that I wasted my time in canoeing mann. I can't blame canoeing for my bad results. The person that I have to blame is ME. And only me. I guess those times in the library when we studied for the CTs were a waste for me. But I have to thank them all the same for trying to teach me stuff that I do not know and for the company. The milo and biscuits were worth it. And I got to know some of them better too. OK, so we do side track. A LOT, sometimes. But oh well, I do not regret staying until late in school with some of them. What's done is done and it was good and fun while it lasted.

p/s My malay 'A' level oral is on the 4th of july. Grrrrreat.

..we're BREAKING FREE.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Maths and Chemistry papers were a breeze.

HA. If you know me well enough, you should know that that is complete and utter BULLSHIT coming from me. I didn't complete the papers for both. And I didn't finish studying for both too. So, there you go. I am so screwed. But somehow I don't care. Common tests are OVER. If I fail, I fail lah. No point wallowing in self-pity or whatever right? Besides, common tests only take 10% for our promos or something right?

ANYWAY, training just now was good. We had the whole reservoir to ourselves. How peaceful. But only for a while. Well, long live short peaceful moments! Ok, I think I've offically gone cracked.

Quote of the day: "I love you like..like..the ocean is flooded with seashells!" HAHA. Guess who said that.

I'm no superman.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
OUCH. My bloody knees. And I meant that literally.

Hmm. What can I say about today? Training got cancelled. All I got from "training" today was two very bruised, scraped, RED knees and went home walking like a penguin. Basically, looking like a moron. And of course, I can imagine Anisa saying that I always look like a moron anyway. But that's besides the point.

So basically training got cut short today due to some certain things that got the coach overly frustrated. So I ended up going to study at Tampines library. And I guess it's a good thing that training got cancelled? But don't tell anyone I said that. (OK, that's completely stupid for me to say because this is a completely public post. OH WELL.) But it's hard to concentrate when your knees are aching like mad. It's hard to do anything really. The pain was excruciating when Elvis put that alcohol on my wounded knees. The pain was overwhelming when I had to bathe. (Yes, Anisa, I did bathe. And washed both my legs, mind you. HAHA.)

I'm so amazed by my wound. If only it's not painful. HAHA.

Something from Scrubs:
Janitor (to JD): You seem unhappy. I like that.

HAHA. What a sadist. Stupid janitor. I love that show. Yeaaaaah.

When the stars go blue.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
I'm running on a very tight budget for this last two weeks of the holidays. Putting 25 bucks aside for the windbreaker for canoeing, I only have nine bucks left. That's right, NINE freaking bucks for the rest of the holidays. Wow. Lets see how I get by.

Today is another wasted day. I went for canoeing in the morning, went for lunch with some of them because it is Rachel's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WOMAN! =)), went home, SLEEP. And here I am.

I haven't really studied.
I just checked and realised that we have to hand in the Econs project by next friday. What the bloody hell. I still haven't started doing it.
I just checked my TPJC.net inbox and Mr Ong is bugging me to send in my GPP. And, you guess it, I haven't get my ass started on the GPP. I don't get why Mr Ong is asking us to do research for our GPP.

I know, I know, no use complaining here. I'm just procrastinating. And I'm tired.

I don't have time to spare anymore.

Oh by the way, I finished watching One Tree Hill already. Season three. And I can't believe there isn't going to be another season. The ending just pisses me off. And I'll leave it at that.

From Amanoneh: (Haha. I know you HATE it when I call you that. But hey, I'm doing this for you. So APPRECIATE it mann.)

What were you doing in Secondary School?
I was studying/slacking most of the time, as you should know Mal. We had CAs once (or more) every week. I miss studying with you people at Parkway. What can I say, it was fun while it lasted. Anyway, I was also a member of the Computer Club. One of the slackest CCAs around. Why I joined it? No idea. I noticed I joined CCAs without real reasons eh? OH. I was a very devoted member of the library board too. HAH. Yes, I was a librarian. I like reading. So what? But I was in the library board only for the points. At least I've got a proper reason.

Five of your Favourite Singers/Bands?
001. Lifehouse
002. Simple Plan
003. Yellowcard
004. Gavin Degraw
005. Jason Mraz

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire?
001. Travel around the world with family and friends
002. DONATE.
003. Own a record library. HAH. Where there is every single album ever made in the entire world. OK, maybe just the albums that are in English.
004. SHOPPING SPREE (I think I'll end up buying lots of food and technological stuff really. Like a labtop, ipod etc.)
005. I'll be an even bigger couch potato than before. Rent loads and loads of movies. Actually, SCRAPE that. Why rent, when I can OWN them? haha.

Five Bad Habits
001. Sleeping in the wee hours of the morning
002. Stoning during lectures/class
003. Bathing late at night
004. Not believing in myself
005. I procrastinate. Wayyyyy too much.

Five things you like doing
001. Watch movies, the TV etc.
002. Going out with my friends
003. Watch the sunset, feel the breeze and just enjoy NATURE.
004. Sleeping
005. Travelling

Five things you will never wear,buy or get
001. Bikini
002. Contact lenses. I don't need them, really. But if I ever do need to wear spectacles, I'll be contented with the spectacles because I don't get how people can poke their eyes again and again every single morning. OK, they're not POKING, but still.
003. A mini skirt or any lace-y shit.
004. Be truly happy
005. Plastic surgery. HAH.

Five favourite things
001. My bed
002. My MP3 player/ discman (both of which are spoilt at the moment)
003. Handphone
004. Chocolate
005. One Tree Hill =) (ok fine, it's not a THING but who cares.)

Five people to do this (Mal already got the TKG people to do soo...)
001. Anisa
002. Belinda
003. Farouq
Ok. Anyone who's reading who haven't done this. Go and do NOW. yup. Haha.

why does it always rain on me?
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
I just lost the entry that I was typing.

Just two things that I wanted to say:
1) I think I'm addicted to One Tree Hill. Those late nights are worth it. =)
2) The weather today is looooovely.

Oh by the way the title up there? It's a song by Travis. And when they wrote the song, they were not feeling emotional or anything. They're just simply writing about the rain literally falling down from the sky. People always assume that there's a hidden meaning. Well, this time, they're wrong. Ok, I think I'm just ranting.

You cannot run away from your weaknesses.
You must fight it out or perish.

Just a random quote. But the quote does sound a bit extreme, don't you think?

the world is a rollercoaster and I'm not strapped in.
Sunday, June 4, 2006
I'm dead tired. I have no idea why I joined this CCA. Seriously. It's killing me. I can feel my soul being sucked out of me. Day by day, training after training I just force myself to do things that I'm just plain not willing to do. Because I don't want to let anybody down. But by doing it, I'm just letting myself down. All my energy is being drained out by trainings. I'm practically lifeless right now.

Forget about the stupid exco. The coach always pick the SAME people to do whatever "big" job. It's so obvious who he wants in the commitee. So why should I even bother to consider who to choose. Because not everyone is given a fair chance to prove themselves. Why am I thinking so hard about this stupid exco thing. It's bugging me.

Lets rewind. Think. What in the bloody world made me join canoeing. Canoeing of all things. Hmm.. I was just walking by the SSC room and got talked into putting my name down for the tryouts by coach and some of the seniors. Now, that's it. But why the hell did I stay in canoeing? Now, that's a whole other thing.

There's the one-star kayaking course next week. I think I'm going to drown in kallang river. Because I'm not much of a swimmer and the coach doesn't know. I swear if they make us swim that 50m, I'm doomed. 50m may not sound much to you but I still don't think I can make it. Hmm.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

P/S I haven't started studying anything yet since the last day of school.
My PW is NOWHERE. Two of my group members won't be around until the last week of holidays. Grrrreat.
Stupid JO forever bugging me about my PW and Econs project every single damn training. I feel like shoving something down his throat. Now, I'm just being plain violent. But, that's nothing new, is it? Haha.
Econs project? HAH. Haven't started. AT ALL. Who's in my group? My beloved K2 partner and me. HAH. What a joke mann.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
Friday, June 2, 2006
Faint//Linkin Park
I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everybody can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored

I am, a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
Cuz you don't understand I do what I can
Sometimes I don't make sense
I am, what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
You face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored

Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
Right now, hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me like it or not
Right now

Chorus.

The song has a lot of screaming. And I'm not sure why but I like it. Haha.

Elections of the exco? Can I please please please NOT vote? Conflicts are most probably going to arise. And there's nothing I can do about it.

The highlight of today? The bus ride home except for that one small coughing incident. Loved the company mann. Haha. =)

Friday, May 26, 2006
Four down. (Does GP count? If not, three lah.) Two to go.

My throat hurts everytime I try to talk now. Oh mann. I think I'm going to wake up with a Rod Steward voice. Except that it sounds good on him. Hmm..

SHIT. There's training tomorrow! Ah. I shall not think about that now. Let s talk about today! =D

First of all, I screwed my physics paper. It sucked. I think I lost about 30 marks worth of questions in Section B alone. I'm so dead la. However, the events after we finished the paper cheered me up like nobody's business. We went to eat as a class. Well, supposed to anyway. Only about less than half turned up for breakfast together. Oh well. We had fun anyway! I swear I love my classmates. Cos I know they love me too. haha. Riiiight.

After we ate breakfast at Macs (hotcakes is the best breakfast anyone can have!=)), we went bowling! At first there was only Henry, Amina, Iyliana, Chuanting, Irene and ME. We played using two lanes for one hour. It was damn funny lah. Cos Amina, Chot, Irene and Iyliana didn't know ho to bowl. So they anyhow throw the ball. Come to think of it, I don't know the proper technique of throwing the ball either. So I anyhow throw also. Haha! But at least I got a strike and some spares mann! haha.

--->Sorry but it's 11pm and I haven't bathe. I'm still in my uniform. and I haven't eat dinner either. So I shall go bathe and eat now! And if I've got the mood and time, I shall finish what I have to say in this post ok? haha. Sorry, but I can't save this as draft or whatever. haha.

Starving for truth, I'm closer to where i started. I'm chasing after YOU.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Common tests are next week. I know I should be studying. And no, I don't think I deserve this break that I'm taking now. Because I have been slacking.

Anyway, the past week has been.. exhausting. Just downright tiring. Two land trainings back-to-back. I felt like I could just die. The second land training was right under the hot sun. We had to run 2.4km first. My timing was 14.28. At least that's an improvement from last year. Most of the girls broke down mann. They couldn't take the tough training. They just reached their resective breaking points. And the senior who was ordering us around was just sitting there smiling. Wtf lah. What a bloody sadist. She showed no concern. But no matter, We shall continue to persevere. I'd rather we suffer now and come out as winners and prove others wrong than to have fun and be seen as the nonsense team by the other schools.

Water practice on Friday was good. Except for a few rude/forgetful incidents. Belinda and I did good on Friday I think. Hmm. Having resistance on the boat sucked. It felt like all the energy from my arms are being drained into the paddle and into the water. Sorry ber, if I was in a bit of lousy mood to canoe on Friday. It's just that I was having muscle aches mann! And we still have to do bloody rotations in the water with resistance. I just got tired out easily. Sorry if I let you down, partner.

Canoeing aside, Sea Sports Heats on Monday was fun. Dragonboating as a class was fun. Ber and I got 1st for girls double. Our class got 2nd for girls relay. And 3rd for drgonboating. Whether we made it into the finals or not I don't really know. But as far as I was concerned that doesn't really matter lah. Bottomline, We had FUN as a class. I love my classmates. Because everyone gets along with everyone. So far no major fallouts. Just that there are some people who were once close, are now drifting apart. But at the same time, new bonds are made. Iyliana said that I'm the one person who can get along with everyone in class. The one person who can have a long conversation with someone even when I'm not close to them. Aah.. who knows.

Maybe surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone. I'm close to no one in particular. In class. In canoeing. It's like I'm neither here nor there. So I choose to get along with everyone but I just feel more alone half the time. But I have to say I'm surrounded by the greatest people one could ever get to know.
My mum's going to make me quit canoeing if I fail my common tests. And I have a feeling I'm going to fail. Then I have to quit. Argh. Just take me away.

I've got great teammates, great classmates. Great partner. Taking away canoeing is like taking away half of my life in TPJC. Then I'll go back to being this unknwown girl who lives in her own world. And just be plain misunderstood. ARGH. Life will feel so oddly empty without canoeing. I've just grown to fall in love with canoeing. Don't take it away from me now, I beg you.

Oh wth. No point of me talking about all this emo shit. Alright, I'm just dwelling. I should be studying. So that's what I'm going to do. I better go study. BYE.

How I wish I can relive the good old times I had. Yes, I know, no point living in the past. It's the future that matters. Ah wth. Life is just a royal pain in the ass.

A song for you.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
It's damn late.
I've got a competition tomorrow. Natinal Womens Kayaking Competition.
Wish me luck OK.
I have to travel all the way to MAcritchie early in the freking morning tomorrow.
Ihave to tbe there at 8.
Bloody hell.
Somebody insisted that I update.
So that's what I'm doing now.
yup.
Wish me luck ok?
There, I've updated. =) (Maybe I'll update more tomorrow? Haha. See first lah. See if I'm in the mood. Yup. NIGHTS!

I know you wanna leave me but i refuse to let you go.
Monday, May 1, 2006
If i have to beg or plead for your sympathy,
I don't mind cos you mean that much to me.
Ain't too proud to beg
-->Ain't too proud to beg//The temptations

The past week has been pretty hectic. I've been so bloody busy considering how popular I am with everyone. HAHA. Riiiight.

I finally finished and handed in my PI last Friday. The total number of drafts I did was SEVEN. That is not including the shitty ones I made along the way about nuggets and fishballs. My teacher doesn't even know about those two.

I don't think my final PI is good enough. As in, not up to standards for my teacher. But I don't give a shit about it anymore lah. Even if my teacher asks me to re-do it again, I will violently object to it mann. Haha. I'm serious.

Almost every single damn day I would be online up until about 1am doing my bloody PI. It's amazing how I keep myslf awake during lessons really. I think it's because I stone. A LOT. And when you stone, you're not paying attention at all. But I am keeping awake. So it's still bad. Oh damn it. I HATE project work.

Oh, last week during SPE, we selected people to participate in the Sea Sports Carnival. Guess what. My classmates made me participate in 4 events. What the hell lah. The events I'm in: Girls Canoeing relay, Girls Double (canoeing with Belinda POOOOOON. haha.), Mixed double (with my dear girlfriend. HAHA. riight.) and dragonboat. Wahlau. I can just imagine my arms breaking off while I try to paddle. I told the chairman (my girlfriend. haha.) that I can't swim. But nobody believed me. Hah.

I gtg mann. Focus on Econs project. I've got Group Project Proposal and Econs project due tomorrow. Oh mann. No sleep for me tonight.

when you try your best but you don't suceed.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
I screwed my Chemistry test. (failed by one mark)
I screwed my Maths test yesterday. (I mixed up the signs for 'more than' and 'less than'. pffft.)
I screwed my Physics test just now. (I just don't understand a single thing. I think I'll get zero for all my calculations question. Application questions are just not my thing.)
My point? I'M SCREWED.

Had canoeing orientation last Saturday. We played Amazing Race. Go everywhere around Singapore. From Toa Payoh to Tampines to town. Yup. We were grouped into diffrent teams. My group: King Kong, Elvis, Aisyah, Sebastian and me. Jon was my group leader. (A senior was assigned to every group.)
One of the tasks was to canoe in a K2 (a harder to balance boat that can hold up to 2 rowers). We had to go up to the 1000m mark and come back. So I took it along with Elvis. The rest of them took either T1 or T2s (more stable boats). When it was our turn, the water was damn choppy. It was about to rain and it was damn windy. Then there was even a bloody speedboat speeding around like nobody's business. The speedboat was the cause of big waves. Which caused us to capsize. Twice.
The first time we capsized, the boat hit my head. The second time, I simply got distracted and fell out of the boat. haha.
But when we finally got out of the water and have finished packing, I realised that my handphone was still in my pocket. And my pants were wet. So yeah. I went canoeing with my phone. Smart right? haha. My handphone is spoilt now. And I can't do much about it.
SO. The result of caneoing orientation? I have a bump on my head. My handphone is spoilt. I have two blue-blacks on my arm(I still can't figure out how I got them). And I still don't know my teammates well. So yeah. But overall, it was quite fun lah.

But right now, I'm just feeling completely screwed up. My studies are screwed. My CCA is screwed. My friends? Do I have any? Alaa. I dunno lah.
I need some cheering up. Where's my dear dear sec schoolmates when I need them? haha. Miss you people mann.
Speaking of sec schoolmates, Amalina's birthday was last Friday! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MAL!!!!. Duuude. We have to meet up before poly orientation starts ok? Otherwise, it will be very hard to meet up already. Yup.

Gotta go study econs now mann. I have econs test tomorrow! Wish me luck.

Take my heart and please don't break it.
Sunday, April 2, 2006
Heyy. After such a bloody long time, I decided to blog. haha. Nobody's reading. But who cares?

Had National Juniors' Competition at macritchie over the weekend. Only the seniors took part in this one. Some of them made it to the semi-finals. Everyone did their best. And that's all we could ask from them. I feel so proud of all of them. I'm super scared of taking over their positions next year. Can I not take part in any competition? =)

Stupid question. But anyway, I love the canoeing team. As ostracized as I may feel sometimes, I love all of them. I love that feeling of achievement. If you put everyone in canoeing in the same class, I think it will be the craziest, most weirdest class around. Every one of us is unique in our own way. It's so cool. haha. I don't really like capsizing. But hey, I don't mind being in the water. Even though I suck at swimming. And there's a lifejacket. So doesn't really matter lah.

I'm talking nonsense mann. I better go and do my tutorials. or the teachers are going to kill me. By the way, my civics tutor is also the teacher-in-charge of canoeing. Damn. I doubt that's a good thing. During the competition, he reminded me that I had econs tutorials to do. Bloody hell. Oh, he teaches econs. He's beefy. Aiyah. Spare me.

POSTING RESULTS! No big deal lah..
Saturday, March 4, 2006
Heyy! So I got posted back to TPJC. Science. Just as expected. But I'm starting to sort of regret.. hmm.. Ah well, nothing I can do about it now.

Anyway, Nothing much to talk about. So lets talk about canoeing. =D I think Faz is getting tired of me talking about canoeing already, but it's ok! haha.. My canoeing partner nowadays is none other than Belinda Poon! But if I quit, then.. she won't have a partner. I'm still thinking of quitting lah.

My mum's not too happy about the training days. Cos on training days I'll reach home at about 8pm. And usually I'll be so damn tired that I'll end up not doing any work at night. Haha.. It's also quite time-consuming. So yeaaah. Mr Chua, my coach, is willing to talk to her about it. Hmm.. I dunno lah. See first.

Anyway, orientation starts all over again on Monday. I dunno what that's going to be like. I think there's more malays in the 2nd intake. At least they make it look like there's a lot in the list. Haha.. I'm not sure lah.

Eh, SOR! We shall have lunch together on Monday k. Then Tuesday we shall all send Fazlina off! How's that?

I love the sound of you walking away..
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Franz Ferdinand concert was awesooooooome. Too bad I was enjoying it alone throughout the concert. I was with Aruna at the start. Then we lost each other in the crowd when the music started. Cos everyone started pushing and shits. So yeaaah. Felt like a human pancake. Or a human sponge. Where everyone is squeezing every drop of sweat out of you. Went home feeling sweaty. And it's not just my own sweat, mind you. It's also the sweat of the people who were around me. Haha. Gross, I know.

Anyway, I shall not elaborate further about the concert lah ah. But for Saha's sake, I have to say that I enjoyed Simple Plan's concert better. Heh. Honest!br>
Anyway, Thursday was the concert. And then I had caneoing on Friday afternoon and Saturday morning. Mann, I was so worn out. I felt so bloody lethargic. Oh i got a haircut yesterday, btw. Haha. Don't worry, it's not as short as before, but it's not that long either. Hmm.. Eh dah lah. I've got tutorials to do..

Paranoid Android
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Fourteen. Yup, That's my L1R5.

To be honest, I didn't feel nervous at all. Haven't had any dreams about it or anything. I only felt uneasy when it was my turn to sign the thing and when iI see people crying in the hall.

People have told me once before to expect the worst. So that's what I did. I expected to get 20 points or worst. Since that's the best L1R5 I ever got while I was in TKGS. So hey, I'm HAPPY and SATISFIED with my results. =D

I told my mum I plan to go ITE. Haha.. She was practically shouting at me(actually her normal voice is just plain loud. Like me lah ah). Haha.. I don't see what's so wrong about WANTING to go ITE. Of course, I was just kidding with my mum.

So yeah. I'm most probably staying in TPJC. Since I can't make up my mind about which course to take in Temasek Poly.

Or maybe I should switch JCs. Hmm.. Alaa. See first ok?

Mann I feel so detached. From SoR. From 4e4. From everyone I used to be close with. I dunno what's happening with you people anymore. Sometimes it feels like I'm always the last one to know something or another.

I went to the soiree at MJ yesterday. It was awesooooooooome.

Should I go MJ?

Judgement Day.
Wednesday, February 8, 2006
So O' level results are coming out this friday. Which is in 2 days? More or less.

Mann, I refuse to think about it. So lets not talk about it.

I had my college road run today! My position? 250. Haha.. But EVERYONE in my school had to run. 3.2 km for girls and 5km for guys. Most of my classmates were walking all the way lah. They were the last group to come in. Now, why did I bother to run and not walk with them?? Ish. I intended to walk at first. Then I see the whole lot of people running in front of me. So i started running... Stupid mistake.

Anyway, for those of you who haven't heard, I'm in canoeing now! Haha.. I'm having muscle aches now. Had land training yesterday. Push-ups, pull-ups and all that jazz. Mann. 4 years of computer club and now I'm in canoeing doing tough training. What was I thinking?

Ah well. Results in 2 days. I'm thinking of staying in TPJ. Cos I really, really cannot decide on a course in poly. Sure, I want to go to Temasek Poly. Sure, I don't think I can make it in a JC. And sure, I don't think JC life is for me. BUT, I can't figure out which course to go to. And if I do go poly, can I really be one of the best?

Alaa. I shall stop thiking about it already lah. I shall think it through AFTER i get my results. BTW, don't you think 6 days is a bit short??

P/S My mum bought me shorts (it's a bit like tights, really)that goes up to below my knees to wear for PE, canoeing etc. She said if i refuse to wear the shorts that she bought, she'll cut up my TKG shorts. Haha. What the hell lah.

P/P/S I'm going to Franz Ferdinand concert! =D Alaa there's so many artists coming down to Singapore lah. So hard to decide. There's BSB (their concert just passed lah ah.), Oasis, Franz Ferdinand, Fort Minor, Jason Mraz (did u know that he's coming???) and a whole bunch of other artists coming down to perform for the Mosaic Music Festival 2006. If you don't know what i'm talking about, go look it up lah. Esp since some of you have so much free time now. =D

ARGH. Decisions, decisions, decisions.. Shitheads. It's during this kind of moments when I just hate myself for being so indecisive. BAH.

The Pink Spider.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
HEYY! (Up there is the name of a band. haha!)

Here's a quick update for all those who are reading right now. Errr..

I probably won't go to the park with you people tomorrow. I'm goin to Sentosa with my family tomorrow. Dunno if it's confirmed. But anyway, I doubt I can go with you guys.

Had picnic just now! With all the relatives from my mother's side of the family. We played football. Guys VS Girls. Guess who won. The GIRLS! =D It's so weird playing soccer with your mum. And seeing all your uncles with bulging stomachs running after a ball. hahaha.. Yup, people of all ages played the game. Haha.. Damn fun lah. Oh my mum is the so-called "star player" of the match. She scored 3 goals or something. Too bad her skills doesn't exactly run in the family. The final score was 7-2. HAHA! The guys kena thrash lah! Padahal the guys who played were rather skilful too. Ah well.

Some of my cousin's children got kites to play with. (MAL, you still owe me my kite. haha.) I think we're gonna go bowling now. See ya!

I hear our song, it keeps playing on the radio..
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Heyy! It's new years' eve and I'm stuck at home alone. Soo.. reflection time?

Best movie of the year: Harry Potter the Goblet of Fire, of course. The plot is great and the effects are breath-taking. Right behind it will be Chronicles of Narnia. It's just as good as Harry Potter. It's a bit of Lord of the rings and a bit of Harry Potter and all. Maybe, just MAYBE, I picked this two movies because I actually watched it in the cinemas with my friends. Which made the movie even better. But hey, don't look at it that way. What did you expect me to say? King Kong? It is nowhere near. I mean, the effects are amazing and all but the plot is just plain weird and boring.

Best Event of the year: I dunno. There's a range of events that could be chosen. Maybe I'll just pick the Simple Plan concert. Haha.. Well, the concert WAS great. The only thing that was missing was the few close friends. I mean, Saihah was there but god knows where she was standing. Another event will be all the SoR outings. Haha.. The only thing that was a letdown is that there's always someone missing. Ever realise that? Eg. The P. Ramlee marathon. Nadira and Fazlina weren't there. Another example will be the picnic. Fazlina wasn't there. And then there's the movie marathon at Mal's house. Khadijah wasn't there. (What happened to her that day anyway? I never knew)

Most irritating song of the year: It's a tie between the Madagascar song (I like to move it, move it) and the Chicken Little song (No ma no ma ye). Urgh. But i found myself singing it sometimes. Haha... But it's so freaking annoying. If you want a proper irritating song, I mean, with proper lyrics and all, it will have to go to Wake up//Hillary Duff. Urgh. That disgusting song. Ok, the lyrics are not disgusting. But her voice is just oh-so-WHINY. And I still remember Shagun singing it. Hahaha..Ish.

Greatest song of the Year: I dunno which to choose. There's so many of them. The number one song on perfect ten is 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt. Maybe it is the best song this year. I mean, really, I bet some of you were actually singing the song at one point or another. The song is quite infectious. Though a bit stupid. I still remember the parody we made of the song. Hahaha.. Nazurah created it rite? Hmmm.. But another song will be Ransom Letter//Pug Jelly. Or known as Saw Loser now rite? It's a great song for someone who misses someone. Go figure. This a song that, just like 'You're beautiful', I bet you were singing it at one point or another. Come on, admit it.

Overall, I think 2005 has been a good year. There's not much downfalls. Just a lot of periods when we felt depressed due to the pressure given by the big 'O'. But hey, put that aside, and you got yourself a great year. Great friends + great movies + huge amount of stress + FUN in all sorts of events = A great year! Ahahaha. I mean, come on, events are only fun when you yourself make it to be fun. Am I making sense? I mean, some things are only boring because you make it seem that way. Riiight? Ah well. Hey, this is the first time (at least I think so) that I actually posted an entry back-to-back. I mean, I just posted an entry yesterday and here I am posting another one just after 24 hours. Ah well. HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! I'm not making any New Year resolutions this year. Cos it's really pointless. Cos I'll end up making a loooong list and then forget about it and not follow it at all. Haha.. well, hope you people will have a great year ahead! Happy New Year!!

You know I can't see through the haze around me, And I do anything to just feel better
Friday, December 29, 2005
^^Just feel better//Santana feat. Steven Tyler. Love the song. Go check it out.

Anyway, I just got a call yesterday from a girl in TPJC who gave me the details for orientation. What to bring and all that. And it has finally occured to me that I'm never going back to TKGS again. SLOW/b>, I know. There I was, chilling at mal's place when it hit me that all this people sitting around me aren't going to be there with me in TPJC. I almost felt alone. I just realised that I just might have to deal with the 1st 3 months myself. Without all the people I'm usually with. What the hell am I going to do?? I can't do this. But I'm forcing myself to. I don't get myself. What did i get myself into??

Am I making sense to you? Nevermind. Let me continue ranting.

I realised that life's never going to be the same again. Damn, I hate the fact that we have to deal with this thing called reality or LIFE. I hate reality checks. It just crashes onto you like a wave. Just when you feel all comfortable in some place, they just pull you out of the place and chucked you somewhere you might not actually belong. I dunno, maybe I'm talking nonsense. Maybe I'm not. Some people like to say that change is good. Well, I definitely don't agree. Not entirely anyway. CHANGE is just not necessarily good.

OK, I'll stop blabbering already. Main point is I'm not ready for change. I'm not ready to make any crucial decision. I'm not ready to receive O' level results (which is in March but still). I'm not ready for anything. Maybe I'll never be. But all this is coming anyway. Maybe I'll grow up to be just a nuisance to society. haha.. Riiiight.

But hey, who knows right? NOTHING ever stays the same.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
------>Life is a royal pain in the ass.

Then he lies awake and he wonders, why can't that be me?
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Good movie plus great friends. What more could a girl ask for?

Ok, don't answer that. Today was grrreat! For 5 bucks, it wasn't so bad. I didn't see any cockroaches or whatever people always complain about. So it was great. The movie is gooood. Chronicles of Narnia. Go watch it! It's so good that we idiots actually manage to turn it into some kind of comedy. Hahaha.. No seriously, go watch it. It's really GOOD.

Anyway, as requested by Saihah and farahin..

Rules of the game: Post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself. At the end, list the names of 5 ppl who you want next to this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for rules!

1. I dig my nose in my free time. Haha.. Just kidding lah. I had brochitis when I was younger. (some of you know this already)
2. I tend to fall for characters (in tv shows and male, mind you.) who are stupidly irritating yet smart but cute and veeeery sweet. Of course, i doubt there's such a guy in real life lah.
3. Er.. I don't like chewing gum! I don't get how people can still keep chewing and keep it in their mouth after it has become so tasteless!
4. I love to eat cereal. Hmm.. But I haven't done that in a while.. Honey stars are the best of the lot.
5. I tend to lie awake at night just thinking about stuff like death (hari kiamat).. etc. even if i try and sleep at 12.30. I'll end up sleeping at 2.30 or 3 in the morning. Hmm..

The whole of no. 2 is stupid, i know. Urm.. i dunno who to tag lah. So whoever's reading this and haven't this whole post-5-random/weird-stuff-about-yourself-shit, DO IT. NOW.

Haha.. Anyhow, going off on friday. Dad coming back tomorrow. So I won't be blogging anytime soon. See ya!

Not listening when you say.... goodbye.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Heyy. PAE results out tomorrow. Not really worried lah. To be honest, if i get into srjc or something, i'm not going to go for first 3 months and just get a job at macs at elias mall or something.

Everybody's been having weird dreams eh? Or is it just me? Entah lah. Anyway, i've been having random dreams. I had this one dream when i was on a moving train talking to two women who were office workers or something. The night after that i had a dream that i owned a dog. Do you know lassie? Did i get that right? Yeah, the dog was like that. And it was happy and all.

A few nights later i had a dream that i was already married. I was the husband. And no, i don't recognise the girl. It's weird. And i dunno if i'm actually a guy or a girl in the dream.

Weird dreams. I looked it up. And the meanings just doesn't make sense to me. Let me just copy and paste one of them.
To dream that you are on a train, is symbolic of your life's journey and suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed for the right direction. Alternatively, you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will prove to work out in the end..

I'm on the right track of life??? Ooo-kay. I'm interested in one of those IT courses in Temasek Poly. Interactive media design or something? Yeah, that one. It's actually under school of design. I'm just not sure if i'm cut out for it. I mean I don't have much creative juice and all. And my abilities? God knows what my abilities are. Sometimes it feels like I'm not good at anything. I dunno lah. I need to think this through. Ah well. See ya around.

If u're bored or anything, and u want to go out, ajak me ok? Oh and one more thing, Michelle Lee leaving today. I messaged her and all already but I'm not sure if she got it. So anyhow, GOODBYE!!

I want something else
To get me through this
Semi-charmed kind of life, baby, baby,
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say
Good-bye
-- semi-charmed life//Third eye blind.
Just felt like putting it in. Haha. See ya.

everybody's dancing in the moonlight.
Monday, November 28, 2005
So prom on friday was a completely last minute thing. My mum finally let me go at about 5 o'clock? Yeah. So wasn't prepared. Just grabbed something formal to wear. I reached at SSC feeling very underdressed. Then I saw Jodine. And Kwann. Haha.. At least I have people who are dressed like me. A whole load of them looking gorgeous in their dresses. The room was filled woth pretty people. A picture says a thousand words eh? Go see photos at Nad's blog. I don't think the rest of them have uploaded the photos.

Saturday, I went to town with my family without my elder bro and dad. Each one of them got something as usual and i didn't. I was s'pose to go to SP open house with Nad. but she needed her beauty sleep. Don't ask.

Yesterday went to the "Konsert Lebaran Extravaganza" at Jurong. There was Fauzie, Ciko (remember him? From anugerah also), that hi hi bye bye woman and a few other artistes. It was quite fun la ah. The down side?( Or maybe not) I was squeezed in between my mum and my auntie. Haha. Ah well. The concert was held at this community centre next to my auntie's house. If you look out of her window (and she lives on the 2nd floor), you can see the concert. But the back of the stage was covered and it was the back that was facing her house. So yeah. We went down and watch the concert. I had no freaking camera. The disadvantages of having no camera. So i ended up taking mental pictures. Haha. They gave chances to take pictures of some of the artistes (fauzie one of them) and they will pose for you. Some of them went on stage to be "back-up dancers". Afterwards, they got to take pictures with him. Bah. This girl she went on stage god knows how many times. Dah on stage, she was shy. If you're shy, why in the bloody world would you go on stage?? Gundusamy.

My anak saudara (my cousin's children) aged 2 and 5 were dancing and clapping. Hahaha. But they only arrived later. There were a lot of people about our age there. But I was the only teenager amongst my relatives who were there. So i felt a little lost. No matter. It was funny watching my 2 year old anak saudara shiok sendiri. So cuuuute. Haha. Damn i need a camera. Or at least a camera phone. But no matter. I'll still be using my nokia 2100 phone until it gets condemned i guess.

When there's nowhere else to run, Is there room for one more son?
Friday, November 25, 2005
The Killers.

Prom's tonight. And I don't think i'm coming. Ah well.

I just lost an entry. I've typed it out nicely and then my computer hang. Darn. To sum things up from the entry that was erased, I haven't been doing much lately. Just sitting at home doing nothing. Mum didn't allow me to go out on Tuesday.Well, if i had gone out way earlier, then she would allow. Ah well.

Collected PAE shits on Wednesday. And went home with Mal and Saha. Now, that's a first. The testimonial was ok la ah. Apparently I am "A student who is pleasant and neat in appearance, Sab is easy to get along with making her well-accepted among her peers". Thank you. Neat in appearance? Haha! More like selekeh (sp?).

Was doing practically nothing yesterday. Just being a couch potato. I think my eyes are so used to sleeping at 2 in the morning. Even when i try to sleep at 12.30 or something, I'll just end up tossing and turning until it's past 2. Insomnia? I dunno.

P/S I applied for MJC, TPJC and SRJC. My guess is i'll end up in SRJC. Or just chucked somewhere. I dunno lah. Mum's asking me to choose somewhere close.

california, here we come
Saturday, October 22, 2005
So jalan raya yesterday was fun. Going to Mdm Hassan's house is fun. She knows how scary she really is to every other tkgian except the sec 4s. And she's actually fine in her life outside school. Oh, she's the one who's writing the testimonial for me. Uh-oh.

Anyway, jsut stuck at home waiting for my mum to get back. Then jalan raya for 2/9. I think i'm going to have a hell lot of free time after this week. Hmm.. lets go to the library! Haha.. People wants to go shopping and i want to go to the library. What a difference. Eh dah lah. I got nothing to say la.

P/s My mum's going to call mdm hassan. About prom. Uh-oh. SHIT you.

you said goodbye, i said goodnight.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
WOOHOOHOOO! It's all been done.

Barenaked ladies. The band who sings that ^^ song. Haha.. don't get me wrong. O' levels are OVEEEEEER for some of us. But anyway, GOOD LUCK to thos having sub-sci physics paper on tuesday!

It's a newwwww day. But somehow it doesn't really feel like a load is being lift off. I guess it hasn't got to me yet that o' levels are over. New layout. Like it? Haha.. a bit plain, i know. But i love the navigation! It' soooo cool. At least I think so.

Oh mann. I lost my archives. Craaap.