It's All Been Done. [version 14]

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So What!
Monday, October 20, 2008
RANDOM THOUGHTS:
#1 I had that *pointsattitle* song stuck in my head today! And I wasn't even listening to it at any point of time. Ish.
#2 We had lecture after lecture from 10am until 8pm today.
#3 Some lectures were okay, some just made me want to sleep.
#4 I rather not talk about it.
#5 It feels like a lose-lose situation to me.
#6 I know you all are concerned, I know you care and I really appreciate it. I feel guilty for burdening you with my problems in the first place. I'm sorry. ~~I wish I could take it back.~~ =/
#7 The highlight of today? When the evening lecture ended! On the way out of school (Ain and I had planned long, long ago to do this, especially after we saw this two guys doing the stun), Aznin, Sha and I slid down the railings of three flights of staircases! WOOHOO. haha. Well, I went down all three. I'm not sure about the other two because I was busy nursing my sore thigh. Mann it was so darn painful to land on those straight railings between two flights of staircases. HAHA. Yeah, I'm such a smartass for doing it in the first place. But I like the adrenaline. So sue me. Haha.
#8 We shall do it again when Ain is NOT wearing a skirt okay! When we have night lessons again. =)
#9 I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead.
#10 Who We Are is a good album by Lifehouse. =)
#11 I'm so sad I didn't get to see them live when they came down two weeks ago. =(

And we break and we burn
And we turn it inside out
To take it back to the start
And through the rise and falling apart
We discover who we are
I'm tiiiiiiired and my thigh is still sore. GOODNIGHT ALL!

When you're looking like that.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I'm addicted to that song! Haha. It's a super old song by Westlife but it's still infectious to me. Okay, I think I've gone a little whacked with all the oldies this week from Backstreet Boys to N*Sync to Blue. Mann, the good old boyband days. Haha.

My younger brother just ended his PSLE last week and he just came back from Malaysia just now (no, he didn't go alone, he went with my parents). My point being, life after PSLE is so shiok sehh. I still remember those days when you go to school to do nothing but play games and talk nonsense with your friends. I miss primary school. Oh, but secondary school was no different. After finals, in lower sec, we used to play card games and whatnot and the teacher just stone, is it? Haha. I don't remember what happened to the teachers who were suppose to be "teaching" us.

Okayy, stop living in the past already. Back to the now. School just started two days ago. I'm really tired and I really don't like waking up early. Anybody who knows me, knows that I'm not a morning person. Ishh. How did five weeks go by just like that. Alright. Enough rambling. Time for me to read up on A&P. I really don't understand the brain. So many new terms and a new lecturer too. DAH BYE.

p/s GET WELL SOON AMINA MAISARA! =)

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can’t have.
Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out.
Desire can wreck your life.
But as tough as wanting something can be,
the people who suffer the most, are those who don’t know what they want.

Well said by Meredith Grey. It's true, don't you think? I wish I knew what I want. Darn life.

See the beauty in ugly.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
It's two in the morning and technically it's Monday already and I have finally finished watching Grey's Anatomy (the 4th season). =) I felt so happy and gooey inside that it's creepy. Haha. I'm still smiling while I'm typing this. I KNOW it's all pure fiction and such things just don't happen in real life, but a girl can dream, can't she? Mann, it's crazy what some tv serials can do to some of us. Such happiness is fleeting anyway. I shall go find the new season now. =)

Anyway, hari raya is coming in about two days. I am really not looking forward to it. I don't really mind fasting for another month. Or everyday for the rest of my life, for that matter. If it postpones hari raya, why not? haha. I've always wondered why, only on this occasion, only at this time of the year, that we actually ask for forgiveness. From our parents, friends, relatives etc. And I've always wondered if some people are actually being sincere. It makes the whole thing kinda pointless and it doesn't make sense to me.

This week, I've been spending most days at home, helping to clean, watching grey's, running errands, doing chores, visiting my grandma in the hospital and mostly driving myself crazy thinking about some things. I mostly avoid the thinking by absorbing myself in TV or whatever show I can find online. haha. Yeah yeah, sooner or later, I'll have to face reality. But, for now, leave me alone.

Okay, I'm just rambling.
To all my muslim friends,

an advanced
SELAMAT HARI RAYA!
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN. =)

"A couple of hundred years ago,
Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success.
Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today.
This is the man who discovered electricity.
You think more people would listen to what he had to say.
I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess,
I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear.
Fear of failure, fear of rejection,
sometimes the fear is just of making a decision,
because what if you're wrong?
What if you're making a mistake you can't undo?
The early bird catches the worm.
A stitch in time saves nine.
He who hesitates is lost.
We can't pretend we hadn't been told.
We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers,
heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time,
heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day.
Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves.
We have to make our own mistakes.
We have to learn our own lessons.
We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore.
Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant.
That knowing is better than wondering,
that waking is better than sleeping,
and even the biggest failure, even the worst,
beat the hell out of never trying."
-Meredith Grey =)

The Great Escape.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
THE HOLIDAYS ARE HEREEEE. =) Okay, I'm three days late but who cares. Haha. The last two weeks of attachment was somehow more draining than the first two. But I shall leave all that behind now since attcachment is over and I shall worry about it again when the time comes. Haha.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
#1 Trust is a lie. Nobody ever knows anyone.
#2 I'm currently addicted to One Tree Hill again.
#3 You know, I've always wondered, how well do you really know your friends? You THINK you know someone, yet you come to realise that you don't actually know him/her at all.
#4 RUN BABY RUNNN, DON'T EVER LOOK BACK!
#5 Check Yes Juliet. What an odd title for a song. And what a strange name for a band too.
#6 THANK YOU azninnazliisa for accompanying me on the hunt for daun sup that day! Haha. In the end, what I bought was daun ketumbar. And I found out when I went home that daun sup is parsley. And apparently, the chinese call it Chinese Celery. -.-"
#6 In case you were wondering what happened to the daun ketumbar I bought, I didn't even show it to my mum in the end. I just put it straight in the fridge with all her other vegetables. Haha. Hopefully she doesn't notice anything.
#7 I'm actually really thinking twice about this.
#8 I feel like I'm going after something that I have already lost a long time ago.
#9 I should probably be hardworking and find a job yet I can think of all sorts of excuses not to do so.
#10 My younger brother and I had an encounter with a snake yesterday. It was super long, thin and black and white. Geez. Now my brother has a phobia of walking there by himself. He uses me as a shield. Either that, or he'll just run really quickly through the grass. Tsk tsk. What ever happened to chivalry. I have to become the "knight" in shining whatever instead.
#11 Foxtrot is addictive. =)
#12 I'm not going to lie, I like camp rock. =)

You're the voice I hear inside my head,
The reason that I'm singing,
I need to find you, I gotta find you,
You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me,
I need to find you, I gotta find you.

Joe Jonas's voice is stuck in my head. Haha. GOODNIGHT ALL. I hope to see you all soooooon. =)

I'll follow you into the dark.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
The first two weeks of attachment have been very draining. Standing all day, entertaining patients, waiting for patients, cleaning the darn equipment, doing this and that just to look a little busy. I do wonder if that's what I'm going to be like after I graduate and get my diploma/degree. Hmm.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
#1 It's not necessarily a good thing to have the hospital you're working at so near to your house.
#2 Over the past 2 weeks I have had my cousin, my aunt, my JC schoolmate and even my neighbour walk into the department I'm working at for an X-ray.
#3 I hate it when people question me about what I'm doing now. And then they'll give me this WEIRD expression like I made the stupidest decsion. Sheesh.
#4 It's no use accompanying someone to look for a birthday present when you are mentally drained and your thoughts are all over the place.
#5 Sorry for leaving early girlfriends (I swear it sounds really wrong when I say it).
#6 Fireworks Festival was pretty dull. The "opening acts" or whatever you call it were not entertaining at all. There were people falling asleep while waiting for the fireworks to start la. And hardly anyone was cheering/clapping for those circus people.
#7 Thank God we didn't pay for the tickets. Otherwise, I believe it's a complete waste of money. If you want to catch the fireworks, it's a better idea to just watch it from far far away at Marina Square or the waterfront.
#8 Thanks Sha for bringing us to watch the fireworks with you and your friend! =)
#9 It's not such a great idea to watch fireworks when you're exhausted and really hungry. You'll end up being amazed by the fireworks for all of the first 5 minutes and get bored after that. Even with the loud popping sounds, you find thoughts like 'when is this going to end' creeping into your mind and you can't help it. Especially when your stomach is grumbling.
#10 I'm tiiiiiired. GOODNIGHT ALL!

If there's no one beside you,
When your soul embarks,
Then I'll follow you into the dark.
That song is stuck in my head. It's a nice song really, with the simplest melody. I will follow you into the dark by Death Cab For Cutie. What a name for a band.

p/s No Zakiah, I don't want your torchlight.

The Weekend.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I have just burnt my weekend away. Technically, it's Monday now. And I have two exams coming up this week. Aah, just shoot me.

FRIDAY
Class ended early today. In the name of healthy living, we played badminton, monkey, captain's ball and we even went jogging under the hot sun today. Though Fad and I jogged only one round around the track, it still counts right? Haha. Mann, we're such pro-active people. And we don't even have CCAs. =)

Well, today was my most accident-prone day. I went home with bruises on my knees and a swollen finger. Don't ask how I got the "sprained" finger because I'm not quite sure how I got it either. Haha. Anyway, we decided to end the game of captain's ball when the ball landed straight on my face. Trust me, it wasn't a pretty sight. My nose is currently broken. (I know some of you would actually believe/hope it's broken but nahh, I'm just kidding. Haha.)

SATURDAY
I couldn't get myself out of bed in the morning because my body was aching everywhere. Just yawning and stretching a little and I could feel a lot of muscle aches. Haha. Mann, I really am getting old. Or it could be that I just wasn't smart enough to stretch properly before/after the exercise. Hmm.

Anyway, met Zakiah and the twins(aka fad and natasya) for lunch at Bugis. We walked around and none of us bought anything in the end even though there were many sales around. Weiiiird. Sorry I had to miss out on Seoul Garden, I'm hoping there'll be a next time? haha. I had the kenduri to attend that night. I like family gatherings. =) All the different antics of the small kids and adults alike. I haven't been to a family gathering in a while now. So Saturday was gooood. =)

TODAY
I did some chores today in the morning and then I got hooked onto Friends playing on Star World. =) One of the episodes was about Joey writing a recommendation letter for Monica and Chandler and he used the thesaurus for every word he typed. Haha. He ended up signing off the letter as "Baby kangaroo Tribiani". HAHA. Oh, in the end he submitted a handwritten letter and the person thought it was a eight/nine year old kid who wrote it. Haha! Mann, I miss friends. Alright, I'm rambling.

BACK TO TODAY, I attended Anisa's sister's wedding with my younger brother in the afternoon. I didn't have anyone to go with and I didn't wanna go alone so.. desperate times call for desperate measures. Ah well. The wedding was.. yellow. Haha. The decorations, the pelamin and everything were really pretty but sadly, I never got to see the bride and groom. The food was good too, just like what Anisa had said. =)

My younger brother and I made our way down to Tampines Mall after that to meet our mother. I actually asked her to bring clothes for me to change into but nooooo, she forgot about it. So I ended up parading (well, not really parading, but you get what I mean) Tampines Mall in my blue baju kurung. And guess what, she bought tickets for us to see Ibu Tiga! For those who are slow, I meant Mummy 3. Haha. I was, of course, the only person in the theatre wearing a freaking traditional costume. Haha. I bet people thought I was craaaazy.

Well, Mummy 3 was pretty good. I preferred Rachel Weiss as the wife as compared to the new one though(whatever her name is). The Chinese mummies were ridiculously funny. The abominable snowmen aka yetis were funny too. Those huge white beings came out so unexpectedly and apparently, yetis are able to speak chinese. Haha. What a strange world. All in all, it was a good movie. I still think the Dark Knight is better though. Haha. =)

After the movie, the three of us met the rest of the family to have dinner at Swenson's at Whitesands. Yes, I was still in my baju kurung. And again, I was the only one in baju kurung and the rest of the family wasn't. Haha. Daaarn.

Later that night, I had the usual study sessions with Aznin, Isa and Nazli at the CC. Sha was MIA though. Hope she's feeling better. I wonder what she has been watching/doing to the extent that she got sore eyes. *wiggleseyebrows* Haha. I was feeling extra lethargic today mann. I think we ended up talking more than we studied. Haha. Oh well. I'm going to sleep now. GOODNIGHT ALL. =)

I have this song stuck in my head:

I never thought that I had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far, Here I am without you,
Drink to all that we have lost, Mistakes we have made,
Everything will change,
But love remains the same.
Love remains the same by Gavin Rossdale. No, I'm not emo-ing. The song is just stuck in my head. And that dude has a nice voice.

Oh, one last thing:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FADHILAH! =)
And just in case,
HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY AZNIN NATASYA! =)

HAVE A GOOD WEEK AHEAD EVERYONE! =)

Say what you need to say.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
It feels as though it's been donkey years since I last updated. Haha. From the last time I updated until now, a lot of things have happened from the bad weeks to good ones, from the dreadful days to the fantastic ones with amazing friends. Then, of course, there's always those stagnant days with the boring lectures and all that. HA. I don't know where to begin about everything so I shall just leave you to read my random thoughts;

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
#1 I'm going broke. Literally. I only have two bucks in my account.
#2 I haven't received allowance since the last day of school last year and from then on, I've been using all my money from my pay. I've finally gone broke after months of no-allowance and unemployment. A round of applause for me pleaaaase. Hurhur.
#3 I hate asking for money.
#4 I want the holidays to come back. NOW.
#5 Clinical postings are out. CGH and NUH, here I cooome.
#6 Oh darn, looks like I'll have to go shopping. Ugh.
#7 I miss BIASE. =(
#8 The school office was probably closed by the time I reached school today. Luckily I had dear Amina to save the day! =) What would I do without her mann.
#9 Two years in the school and I still don't remember the numbers of all the buses that travel there. I took 28 from Tampines Interchange and I ended up walking all the way from Tampines Mart to the main gate under the bloody hot sun. -.-"
#10 I think the current side gate is ridiculous.
#11 I think the security guards are annoying. But.. they're just doing their jobs I guess.
#12 I miss the school. I've only been in there once since last year and that was during results. Definitely not one of the better experiences.
#13 I'm hooked onto Grey's again.

In life, only one thing is certain apart from death and taxes. And that is, no matter hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to hurt people, you’re going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover, there’s really only one thing you can say…

Forgive and forget, that’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled. Old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for is that one day, we can be lucky enough to forget.
I love Meredith's monologues at the end. Just like I love J.D.'s monlogues at the end of [SCRUBS]. They sum up everything nicely and somehow, it will always leave you thinking.

Walking like a one man army,
Fighting with the shadows in your head.
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say

In the end, it's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again. I wonder how many times John Mayer actually sang the words "say what you need to say" in the song. Some will probably get annoyed with the repetitive lyrics, but I like the song. =)

Love will come through, It's just waiting for you.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I've learnt one thing about myself today and that is, I really have no sense of direction at all.

I went cycling from my house to East Coast Park today. I met Anisa at the Tampines park connector and we made our way down together from there. It's weird that when I was cycling with her, I knew exactly where we were going. But when you leave me stranded alone on a bicycle in the middle of simei, I would have no freaking idea how to get back to my own home. Strange, isn't it?

The journey started at 9.30 in the morning and I finally reached home at about 6pm after a 3-hour rest at East Coast park. So, how long did the cycling last? You do the math. And whose idea was it to go cycling all the way to east coast park on a hot sunny day? *pointsatanisa* Thank God we didn't choose to explore all the park connectors in Singapore. I think my legs would have given up and my butt would have gone numb halfway. Haha.

So what did I get/learn from today's cycling trip around half the island (Alright, it's not even close to half the island, but it sure felt like it!)?
1) My butt, my legs, my entire BODY is aching.
2) I've learnt that you should never wear all black when you're cycling.
3) You should really pay attention to where you're going otherwise you might cycle right into the bike of some random bangla in front of you. Trust me, it's not a pretty sight.
4) I realise that a simple, nice gesture from someone could turn your mood around. I met a nice security guard at expo today. He was willing to take care of my bike while I went to the toilet and took a rest. Alright, he did think I was crazy for cycling all the way to east coast park in the first place but he was still nice to me after I was lost and pissed and I had no idea where I was going. And apparently, he thought I was Chinese. Strange.
5) And lastly, if you ever get lost and you don't know your way around, don't act smart and take a different route. Chuck your pride aside and ask for directions. Seriously. Haha.

After what we/I went through today, I'm still glad we did it. I believe we've proven to ourselves that we're really getting oooooold and our stamina sucks. haha. But thanks for the company babe. =)

If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive
Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this lie
TRAVIS is coming to Singapore! =) Singfest, anyone?

Everything's not lost.
Monday, June 9, 2008
The holidays are finally here! =)
I know, we're suppose to use this time to catch up with our studies and whatnot, but really? Come on, admit it. Most students would probably take this opportunity to do whatever the hell they wanna do before they have to be sucked back into reality again.

I, unfortunately, am no exception to that. Alright, you can say I'm overgeneralising but heyyyyy I'm speaking to those who are like me here: NORMAL people. Haha. I just spent today doing household chores, watching tv and experimenting with food. How exciting is that. Hurhur.

My parents are away yet again. This time my younger brother and my mum went to Oman to visit my dad. My eldest sister and her little family are away too. Left with us three siblings in this big old house. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I have the house to myself most of the time this holidays due to the fact that my brother's in NS and my second sister is working. Have I mentioned that they always come home late and that I hate being home alone at night? I'm turning nineteen but I still get scared of being stuck home alone in this big house at night. How pathetic is that. HA.

Random thought of the day:
It's half the battle won when you take responsibility of your own burden. No matter how heavy you think your burden is, always remember that you're not alone. Take a look around, you'll see that there are others around you who have to carry a far greater burden than you do. So quit complaining, and learn to appreciate what you have. Alright, I'm just rambling. GOODNIGHT ALL. =)

When you thought that it was over,
You could feel it all around,
And everybody's out to get you,
Don't you let it drag you down.

I'm hoping everything's not lost.

More than a name, or a face in the crowd.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I have four tests in the coming week and three of them are on the same day. I'm pretty much done for because I can't seem to get the information I need to know about anatomy and physiology or radiation physics or all that nonsense to go through this thick skull of mine and stay in my brain. Darn. So tell me, how do you study when images of the dissapointed looks on your family members' faces keep appearing in your head? Don't answer that.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
#1 COOK WON AMERICAN IDOL! =)
#2 The airport feels empty on weekdays. Or maybe it's just me.
#3 There's never a dull moment when you're with good company. =)
#4 Lunch on Friday with Ber and Amina was superb.
#5 The new "cool" place to hang out: Yakun Kaya Toast. The kaya toast is really good and the price is pretty reasonable too. Really. HAHA.
#6 Poon, I want the pictures! I believe I've never taken so many pictures in my entire life mann. We were making fools out of ourselves acting as tourists and taking absolutely random photos of ourselves in the airport but it was good fun. Haha. =)
#7 Because nothing worth having comes easy.
#8 The word 'uni' is enough to piss me off these days.
#9 I can never have a serious heart-to-heart conversation with my elder brother because he'd probably just throw an insult at me to make me shut up and go away. Haha. Talk about sibling love.
#10 Because when you try and fail, you've got no one else to blame but yourself.
#11 My sister introduced me to a new show called Eli Stone a few days back. The show revolves around this lawyer who's suffering from an inoperable brain aneurysm, causing him to have illusions. It's a pretty cool show but I doubt Singapore cable tv would ever air it.
#12 Every single one of its episodes is named after George Michael's songs.
#13 Sometimes, the closer you get to someone, the harder it is for you to tell them your secrets.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
While the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know
The World I Know by David Cook
Awesome song, brilliant performance. =)

What about now?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008

At this moment, you never know how many people could be experiencing the same emotion as you. The feeling of loneliness comes when you realise that you're not as self-sufficient as you think you are, or when you realise that you didn't do something you should have done. With that, you could either wallow in self-pity or do something about it.
So which is it gonna be?
[SCRUBS] is showing on Star World again. My daily dosage of comic relief and that touch of life issues. Mann, I've probably watched the old seasons a dozen times yet, I still can't get enough of it. haha.

What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?
--Daughtry.

~~I hate that I'm doubting~~ EVERYTHING right now.

Tercipta untukku
Thursday, May 15, 2008

Aku ingin engkau selalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
I think the lead singer of Ungu has a really nice voice. Anyway, that song is taken off the soundtrack of Ayat-ayat cinta which I caught yesterday with Amina Maisara. Our first malay movie in the theatres and it was an awesome movie. It was really an eye opener and I wonder if such a guy(like the lead character, Fahril) exists in real life. He's someone who's very loyal to Allah and abides the Islamic law closely. He never puts himself first and is willing to help just about anyone. So yeaaah. Anyway, dear amina was like a leaking pipe in the movie theatre mann. But she wasn't the only one. When we walked out of the theatre there were more people walking out with red eyes and tissue in their hands. Haha. It was amusing. Main point is, it was a good movie and I highly recommend it. =) And I have to go now.

p/s An all-David finale. I hope David Cook beats the whiny schoolboy to the title mann.

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