Tuesday, July 19, 2005
ah, so it’s been a lil over a week since I’ve last updated. not entirely my fault, cuz i actually wrote a long entry yesterday night, but then the stupid compie hadda freeze, and i had no way of retrieving that entry. Argh.

i feel that this the past week went by slowly. Perhaps it’s cuz i’m basically working every day; i’m either making sub-sandwhiches, or teaching flute or art lessons. sigh. well it beats staying home doing unproductive activities, as i’ve been hearing many of classmates complaining about, whom on a side note, i’ve been missing dearly. the only fellow high school-ers i’ve been contacting with are some shendi, some jessi, and a little bit of gracey. ah! If only one of us had a car! we’d be cruising to who-knows-where and who-would-care!

well at least gracey and I were able to watch charlie and the chocolate factory last Friday, and despite it’s ‘quirky/oompa lumpa stuations’, we found that movie absolutely amazing. As I have read from a reviewer, who i thought, expressed his/her view best, the movie displayed a wide range of emotions for the audience: laughter [you find urself laughing every thirty seconds, whether it’d be at a childish prank, or an adult-kind humor], amazement [I mean come on, the chocolate fountain! Oompa loompas shooting candy ball/fireworks at targets! wonka bars coming to life at ur living-room television!], sadness [I can admittedly say that I was on the verge of tears when charlie found out that wilbur wonka kept a huge scrapbook, which contained all the successful newspaper stories of his son’s rise to a world chocolate power], etc. oh, and If i ruined any part of the movie whatsoever…me sowwie…>_<

i’m trying to think of wat else i elaborated on in my previous deleted entry. it had a lotta weekend info you may or may not be interested in knowing, but i guess this late at night [10:47, okay maybe not THAT late], my brain doesn’t feel apt to do much thinking anymore. Uggh….

ooh, about twenty minutes ago i just finished reading a chapter titled ‘horcruxes’, from ‘harry potter and the half blood prince’ .yeah it was supposed to arrive on the day it was released, but due to my stupidity, since i forgot to change the billing address, the book arrived two days later.
anyway, I’ve got to say that that chapter was probably one of the most touching chapters i’ve ever read, and…i can safely say, one of the most, if not, THE [pronouncing "the" as "thee" and not just plain "thuh"] MOST IMPORTANT CHAPTER throughout all of the harry potter series, besides the ‘lost prophecy’ from ‘order of the phoenix’.
Anywho, i’m only up to page 400 something. as much as i want to continue reading, i’m afraid of finishing it so soon, all this time of waiting for the book to come out, and i don’t want it to be over…yet. and besides, i don’t wanna be like those people who have prolly read it over a hundred times already in these past three days ^_~. Jk…

okay i guess that’s about enough for now. is it just me or is this entry quite strange word-wise? err, maybe it’s me….

Monday, July 11, 2005
it was a hot sticky monday, and wat better way to spend the day, then going with ur mom to the city and go college-visitng?

first one was NYIT, which obviously i immediately fell in love. first, the location is very convenient (right in colombus circle), the classes are small, the students are nice, and the building has some new components. NYIT isn't that well known yet, but disney recruits members every year. ISN'T THAT AWESOME! ^_^ the admissions...person was more than sweet, and she wished that i call her about anything and hopes to see me in fall of 2006. XD

then we take the subway to colombia, but unfortunately, their art department didn't include my major, and the tour would start at two [by that time it was only 12], so we just looked around the campus. aw, poor mom.

next was parsons, which was all the way on the other side of central park [endless walking and subway-ing. sigh.]. we came just as someone was explaining information. overall very interesting, but parsons also favors students with HIGH artistic ability, and HIGH academics. obviously i'm not both so i wouldn't be suprised if i'm not admitted. oh well. doesn't hurt to try.

my last college happens to be my most interesting visit [it was supposed to be my penultimate college, but i kept moaning and complaining about the heat and the endless walks]. NYU. now they don't have a graphic design program either, but the art advisor there gave me a very interesting and valid reason why they don't. i'd explain in detail, but i don't think u'd be interested in that. pwah.
anywayz, in some shape or form, with our conversation with the advisor, mom brought up that i taught art lessons, oil and painting. the advisor was intrigued and said that this along with my AP studio art will help get me well prepared for their art courses. sigh. so in the end, we were given a tour of the department [it was painful, since the elevator was broken so we hadda trudge up and down the stairs ><], and then were given directions as to how to get back to time square in order to go home.

so overall, visiting colleges was pretty fun. i'm definitely applying to NYU and NYIT, problem is, both offer very different programs, and picking one over the other can make a big...BIG IMPACT, on what i do when i graduate. ha well...i guess that's where the PRAYING BEGINS! ^_^

okay enough's said and done. i'm trying to arrange so that i can see wicked on broadway. ta taaa...

p.s.: whoa...i opened up two windows of this pitas, and it sounded like the backround music was playing TWICE as fast O_O

Monday, July 4, 2005
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! FIREWORKS TIME! WOO HOO!

and of course, it is the time when the WHOLE family gathers 'round and eats barbeque and indulge in greasy meats and tasty treats. tee hee.

of course, after the barbeque, my family joined up with other LSCF families at the oval to watch the fireworks. at least i met saskia there and gave her one last hug before she embarks on her journey to montana ~_~;
okay...i'ma gonna get back to reading angels and demons...which i admit, the ARTISTIC SYMBOLOGY AND AMBIGRAM DESIGNS are pure genius. though sadly, the first time i read 'illuminati brotherhood', i thought of none other than malice mizer in dark robes, lead by the one and only mana. *cough* . how did dan brown come up with all these things? yeesh. freaky.

Saturday, July 2, 2005
when i first heard this bsb song, and listened to the words, i cried:

The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you

Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never seperate us
Deep inside I know you are

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life
Never gone

I walk alone these empty streets
There is not a second you're not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you've shown
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone

Somehow you found a way
To see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close
Everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life

Never gone from me
If there's one thing I believe
I will see you somewhere down the road again

Tuesday, June 28, 2005
so i wake up today and the first thing i smell is the stupid onion odor in my hands that won't wash out easily. *laughs nervously* i guess that's the price i pay for cutting...10 big red onions?

so lemmee back up a lil...saturday i was my first training day. i didn't expected to be overwhelmed by all the formulas we had to memorize [3 pieces of roast beef a six inch sub, 6 pieces on a footlong sub...], how to toast which bread or which sub combo, when to warm up which meat at what time...i mean, all this for a sandwhich! i guess it's all meant to live up it's slogan "eat fresh", or live up to its reputation of making you lose weight. heh.

so from five to around eight, cuzn louise, my boss, teaches me how to work the cash register {i'd type in $1000.00 instead of $100} and how to make sandwhiches from phone orders [too nervous to make sandwhich in front of people, then...]. so overall, saturday was pretty well.

sunday was our one hope youth's first worship team, and we were AWESOME! as i said before, KUDOS TO YOU ALL! ^_^

so monday comes rolling by, and i'm scheduled to come at five pm and train with therese until closing. from five till closing time (ten), the lines are slow [it's not my best description, but let's work with it for now}so i was comfortable in making sandwhiches for the ppl. obviously, for those customers who come daily, they noticed immediately that i was in training, since i've committed a ton of mistakes. ha ha oh well.
so after all that's done, therese taught me how to close the store. now i didn't mind cutting onions {^_^} or cucumbers or counting how many cups and bread, or refilling our stock. but the inventory counting...is a PAINFULLY ANNOYING PROCESS, especially if there is a shortage in the register tray compared to the computer data, and you hafta count the WHOLE FRIGGIN' MONEY AGAIN. i don't think i'd go into detail, cuz i don't think u'd care.so to sum it all up, because of the repetitive money counting, and because of the computer constantly overheating, i get home by twelve.

i don't even know why i'd type out all this, do you people even CARE about my experience as a subway trainee? probably not. but watever, a blog's supposed to be a place where you can write watever you feel like writing, and it's your choice to stumble upon it and read.
ha. watever.

Friday, June 24, 2005
HHHAAAPPPY BIIIRRRTTHHHDDAAAYYY BBBRRRIIIAAANNN!!!

MY LOVE! THE ONE I'VE BEEN (indirectly) GROWING UP WITH! YOU'RE 21! AND NOW YOU CAN PARTY YOUR COLLEGE NIGHTS AWAY DRINKING AND GETTING STONED!

just don't let ur mom know XD

well, so yesterday was the last day of school. the end of junior year, a year when staying up till two a.m. was normal. a year swamped with tons of homework, SAT's, prom, and the joy of being SO CLOSE to senior authority. but i can't deny, there are may things i shall miss.
[insert sad violin music] *sigh* i shall never forget mr. hyman and his egyptian gesture of the y=X3 graph, or that we are prohibited from asymholes or that we can refer to the mother function while grahic equations.
gym, wat made saskia and i grow closer, and ben getting hit by a tennis ball.
mr. carey: "plz excuse while i go purge my system". his hatred of studying birds, his hatred for harry potter, his conniving ways!, are wat make him so loveable. hopefully he won't get depressed when reading the "bunny suicides" book.
mr. wittmaack! i don't care HOW much other PEOPLE flame him, but i still find him awesome, and english has got to be the most interesting class of my day. no joke. for shizzle. despite the loads of work, i found him to be a really great and loving guy.
mrs. brown! i will love you endlessly! 'nuff said man. it's only cuz of those stooopid freshman that made our class sometimes more aggrivating. dana can testify ^_^
SIEGEL! my funniest class! george's random wicked witchcraft and drew's quest to become 'friends' with you. you've made history so easy to understand, and how you can still keep your cool while simultaneously stuffing food in ur mouth during special days ^_^
mr. i, oh dear...where to start. you're love for pokemon, you're love to play pranks, especially on students in the hallway, you overplaying that 'chocobos' song throughout the class period...wat else? but of course, you have the same humor as me, and i love that ur still a kid at heart XD
and finally...DOCTORA! class was intimidating, yet you reminded us constantly that you still loved us all, and gave us the help we needed. and i sincerely thank you for that.

[violin music stops] so now i have the WHOLE SUMMER AHEAD OF ME! three jobs lined up, along with millions of relatives coming over to visit. how i'll be able to manage? we'll see about that...

Tuesday, June 14, 2005
if you are a frequent visitor to this blog *laughs nervously*, you may have noticed that i added music. well i forgot the title, but it definitely came from the samurai champloo anime. ha, since when did i become interested in hip-hop-like layouts? no idea.

so finals are coming up, and i've been stuck on this hot wooden chair typing away study guides for chem and US, both of which, are taking me an annoyingly long time.
a half day today in school, due to the heat. it doesnt' really suprise me, since i've heard on the radio this morning, that many schools were closing early. why can't our school install freakin air conditions, instead of us sweat and profuse (like nixon!) in 94 degree rooms? ack! carey said that the hot weather is meant to "soften us up", watever the hell that means. =S

grr, i think it's also due to the finals, and of my narrow-mindedness that i've been so easily pissed off lately, especially at home. little things, for some reason, are now tending to make me throw something, from not being able to go to borders to study, to not allowed to go outside and stretch...
blah...i can't wait till finals are over, i feel like such a bum sitting on my rump, surrounded by books. DX

Thursday, June 9, 2005
okay for all u peeps who are so eager to find out if they have classes with ME:

1]band A101
2]european history A104
3]digital imaging 2 A209
4]topics/calc C239
5]ap studio art A206
6]gym
7]physics honors E220
8]production graphics B123
9]ap english A201

in any of my classes? give a yelp...

Tuesday, June 7, 2005
hey! i'm feeling a lot better from my last entry =). so who wants to see my newly finished oil painting? just finished it TODAY! *silence from the online audience* no? *sigh* well too bad. i'ma gonna post 'em up anyway.


this is the first sketch of my beloved flowers before i put them on canvas. yeah i know it's a lil blurry. that's the camera's fault.


and this is my painting! hooray! not as good as i hoped it would be. but it took me ages to do all those small detailed outlining. yeesh, more than a month.

and so ends my days as working under mrs. z and the art studio. *sigh* i'm surely gonna miss my kids, and i suprisingly found out that they were gonna miss me. for monday, i have a seventh grader named rachel who said to mrs. z: "mrs. z, i want a special request; in septembers class, i want rachel (her close friend) and risa in my class"
and for today, one girl, jaise said: "i'm gonna miss you so much risa. if you're not teaching my class next year, i'm gonna kill you." ^^;;; how threatening...

well, mrs. z offered me to teach four classes. hee hee praise god. and for this summer i'm supposedly having three jobs: subway, flute tutor, art tutor. yay!

art rocks my artistic socks.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
*sigh* I just looked through my mail and found my SAT scores. they are SO BAD. I mean, much worse than i usually do in Kaplan. how could I be so stupid? I know that standaredized tests do not dictate who you are, or the great things you can accomplish. your purpose in life, what GOD wants you to do, should not be judged by academics alone. i know this, yet it still hurts. what a stupid way to waste tears.

i've been thinking a lot while moving my stupid stuff to our new house. Why am I so careless? Why do I not bother about my future? What am I not doing anything productive? Why can't I be more like ______?
and what's even more scary: Why am I not moving foward in my spiritual life? Why am I not touched? Why can't I be moved? WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!?

I have failed GOD. I have failed to find my purpose. I've failed to be an example. I shouldn't be loved. I do not deserve his love. I was a mistaken creation. I can't fly. I can't soar. I don't have purpose.

there is no hope.

pretty angsty right? and that's only a glimpse of how I really feel about myself. But just two days ago, Dad read a small passage from his Bible meditation: if you feel forgotten, or alone, remember all the wonderful things GOD has done in the past.
Luke 12:6-7 : jesus said, "Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten by God. But the very hairs on your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows"

what has GOD given me? two parents, who said before I looked at my SAT scores, that they loved me and would help in anyway for me to pursue my dreams (mom even bought me a Darth Vader action stand!). Friends, Christian and non-christian whom I desire to share my bountiful love with. best of all, i have God himself, who'd carry me when i do not have the will to go on.

now isn't that more than enough?

we are not forgotten by GOD.

In every desert of trial, God has an oasis of comfort.

Sunday, May 29, 2005


yaaay! YOU'RE FIVE-TEEN! WHEN I MET YOU, YOU WERE LIKE...FOUR! AAAHHH! {you like the pic? pucca and her 'enthusiastic' family are preparing birthday food for u. especially that short dude, who seems to be firing up something good ^_~}
words can't describe how much i *heart heart heart* you. you were one of the first people i've met since we've moved to new jersey, and we've stuck together ever since {i mean...LITERALLY}. u and i know each other like the back of our...er...hands, i mean, i can act like a total RETART in front of you {and u know i do} and u just laugh ur head off and say in that voice of urs "i wuv you". tee hee.

and now, here's a list of funny moments and jokes we shared in the last ten years, at least, these are the ones i can think of in a span of 1 minute:
juicy...tasty apple...
apple will be my dog's name
pidge! one in one! vaporie! cartoon news!
don't forget to smell urself {*cough*apollo*cough*}
snow white! pinnochio! lion king! squashed banana!
101 dalmatians! WELL!!
lissa: she died! cheeks!
MARIO PARTY FOUR: CHEESEBURGER! ICE CREAM!
monika: I FOUR
this old man, he played ace, he played knick-knack on round face...
watever happened to that lady who always gave me pizza?
ur dad's "healthy" shakes
i like bananas...and i ain't gonna stop...eating bananas
ur dad: i don't like this place [mall] it's covered with ur friends...
ur uncle babot's eyes *shudders*
ur uncle jimmy tito bong look-alike
SHOWBIZ KID??? *laughs hysterically*
do you see what i see???
cosby, or was it fresh prince of bell air?: you big...SHOT
and most recently:tita flo! don't eat my peking duck! *points at pastor, and tita flo takes a bite*

...and that's all i can think of in a span of one minute. the list goes on of course. ha ha.

so anyway, i'm sorry for my twenty day absence. it's cuz of this whole moving business. which i forgot to mention: i'm already living in my new house! it's been almost a week but it seems like i've been here forever already. the house is really simple, but in a much better condition than the old one.

of course we're still busy moving stuff back and forth. i'm supposed to be "helping", but i felt that i hadda write this entry before i forget. tee hee.
alright i feel guilty, i'll quit and go on helping. yeesh. ><
once again. I HEART YOU JESSI!

Monday, May 9, 2005
watup people. i just arrived from seeing Orli's Kingdom of Heaven with my peeps, benj, jess, and shendz. we missed the first ten-ish minutes of it, so orli's whole family backround, and where he came from...i have no idea. in fact, the whole movie-plot made no sense. all i can make out is that the knights were defending jerusalem from the muslims...SALADIN! actors in it included qui-gon ginn (liam neeson), scar {jeremy irons, with an actual SCAR on his face}, professor lupin of harry potter, and a really scary man suffering from leprosy, who plays the ailing king of jerusalem. overall, if u like war, and lord of the rings, and learning about the crusades, and mr. bloom, . kingdom of heaven is the movie for you

let's back track a little bit. yesterday we started moving some stuff to our new house. i guess i never mentioned it here, but we're MOVING. we're still in the same town of course, but it's far enough that monika has to go to a new school, =(
it's a little smaller than our old house, but this house is definitely NICER. the whole first floor is carpeted, the kitchen's just been redone, and the bathroom is so cool ><.
only things that freak me out are downstairs, and our attic openner, which makes moaning sounds.

so the first agenda was to move things from the linen closet. to tell u how much stuff we have, our linen closet took up four big freakin suitcases, all compiled of un-used towels and old ones mom would never throw away.
gracey lives about two seconds from our new house, so i called her and she bounced by. she was actually supposed to help, but instead, she danced around in mom's apron, and arranged pennies we found on one of the top shelves of the closet. actually, the owner before left a lot of stuff. gracey and i joked that the old man who lived before us left us his blessing [a jewish star], wealth [a jar of old pennies], protection [a cane], a key to unlock our dreams [an old key], and the will to clear away our sorrows [a garbage bin]. *sigh* wat a good man he is.

o-kay, and now it's time to back track to that saturday morning. SAT'S! as u have probably read [if u did] from other blog people who took the may 7 SAT's, they were not bad at all. the kaplan test were a little harder, so i guess i'm quite prepared. when we started section 2, after the essay, i didn't realize that everybody's SAT's were in different order, so people started pulling out calculators while i had critical reading. i immediately ran up to the proctor, saying "i don't have math! and i'm taking the right SAT?" the proctor looked at me like i was some kind of reader, a hint that i commited a stupid crime. pwah!

hmm, okay i guess i'm done for now. i have the soad song BYOB stuck in my head. which is kinda weird cuz i only heard it once, in SNL. songs pretty good, but like all soad songs, the rhythm's a bit unusual. heh oh well. i guess that's what makes them unique....

delayed opening tomorrow! due to some magical police unity tour that i am unaware of!

Wednesday, May 4, 2005
sigh. i know that this week is nicknamed HELL WEEK for all u smart AP students. i’d just like to say that u guys rock my world, and don’t stressed urself to the point of insanity over studying. i am directing this warning to you: gracey and shendz.

Heh, don’t even get me started on the upcoming SAT’s

to do a quick recap, coffeehouse was awesome. more than 140 people came {whoa!}, and there was no major technical or schedule difficulties. only minor problem was that we went an hour overtime. nevertheless, i enjoyed redge’s mc creativity and the way the testimonies were separate. hopefully gracey enjoyed it too? if we do have a coffeehouse next time [i’m hinting that it might be quite soon o_O], i sooo wanna sing, i don’t care if my voice is weak. Pwah!

college night was yesterday. of course, the first place mom dragged me to was Columbia, though Columbia was not there. I dunno why i get annoyed when she keeps insisting that I go to Columbia. According to my academics, I know I’m definitely not qualified, and I just don’t feel that that college is right for me. Still, mom keeps saying that though I’m not in the top ten percent, Columbia would instead focus more on my artistic skills. I’m still a little if-y on Columbia, and all I got left is to just pray, and see wat GOD wants.

In addition, I find it funny that whenever I approach a competitive college, I would ask “how is your art program?” and the representatives would respond happily “our art program is very good! We have museums, and eager teachers who…blah blah blah”. And then I would say “that’s great! ‘cuz I want to major in graphic designing…” and almost instantly, their smiles would vanish, then shrug and say “oh…I’m not too sure if ________university/college provides that…”. the funniest one was when I visited Harvard [I went there for fun…OKAY?], in which the man looked at me with disgust and said “oh, designing” as it was some disgusting hobby. Or maybe I was stupid in asking a business-centered college about designing. My bad.

Sigh, this is all I can write for now. I just woke up, so my mind is drawing a blank right now. But of course, if an idea pops out in needs of sharing, I’ll be back here…

on a random note: thanks mr. j, since all of today we were rehearsing that sailor song, i have whale sounds stuck in my head. ><

Monday, May 2, 2005
wah! a lil too colorful for me! and an overload of champloo-ness! ><

ah well, guess you {and i} will hafta deal with it for the next few entries ^_^